The Show Must Go On Sidekick


The Show Must Go On

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# We are Splitsboro kids And we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best While playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff And looking super cool!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros With full-sized super dreams!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

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# Just like superheroes Just like super zeros

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# But only half as big! SIDEKICK! #

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I've always been the lead and I always will be!

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-What's going on?

-School play audition.

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Vana's taking up the competition.

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-GRRR!

-ALL:

-ARRGGHH!

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They would've been crushed when they didn't get it, anyway.

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Sounds cool! What's it about?

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MacBlast? THEY ALL GASP

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Ssh! You're not supposed to say the name out loud!

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Bad things happen if you do!

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-PIG SQUEALS

-MacBlast! MacBlast! MacBlast!

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-Heh-heh. Mac...

-Argh!

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It's about Mac... You know.

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A sidekick who becomes a super and saves the world

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and his lady fair from his evil master.

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SHE SIGHS

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Vana...kissing...posters.

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I need that part!

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ERIC CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Um... For my audition,

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I-I've prepared a monologue from my favourite comic book.

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The Black Stinkworm.

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The stench... Beware the stench.

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For it is I...

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..the, er...the black...

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ARGH!

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Heh-heh.

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Next!

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Oh, here's the cast list!

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I don't need to look. Kitty, look for me.

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THEY MUTTER

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Whatever. It's a silly play with a silly director

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who couldn't see talent if it destroyed half a stage.

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Eric, you got the part!

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The director is a GENIUS!

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Understudy?!

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I have to wait until Eric is injured before I can play his part?!

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WHAGH! OH!

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-Eugh!

-I can wait.

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Yes, you can.

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-Aw! I want to be in the play, too!

-Yeah. Good luck with that.

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Hey, maybe you can be a stage monkey, like Kitty?

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That's stage manager.

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We control the lights, the curtains and the sets.

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Yeah-heh-heh-heh-heh!

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Look at me! I'm assistant stage monkey!

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No! Trevor, don't!

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-ARGH!

-LOUD CRASHING

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Well, practice is important.

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Yeah. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

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Um... I just wanted to say thanks.

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No need. You're perfect!

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For the role I have in mind.

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Drilliam Shakespeare?!

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DRAMATIC ORGAN CHORDS

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The director, it's Drilliam Shakespeare!

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-Of course.

-That's him.

-Who else would it be?

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But he's a super villain and he wants to kill me!

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Remember, we defeated him?

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You chopped off his foot?!

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How do you like that?

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I'm pouring sour milk. On your face!

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He's out for revenge!

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Lies! All lies!

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The theatre, 'tis mine true passion.

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I only super villain on the side.

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Now we rehearse!

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Well, I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

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At least until after we rehearse...

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..the kissing scene.

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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Actors! In this, the climax,

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MacB has slung off the shackles of oppression

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from his super AWESOME man!

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Feelst thou emotions as thou dost battle with thy oppressor.

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That meaneth ACTION!

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Go.

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Awesome Guy, er, 'tis now time to meet your...MacMaker?

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You defeat me, my former sidekick?

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I slam thee anon! Ha-ha!

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Noweth, jump and save me verily!

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Ow. Hey, take it easy.

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Triumph! He is defeated and you are saved!

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Yeah, right.

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We shall now seal this victory with a kiss.

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NEURGH-ARGH!

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There's no passion, no danger.

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Thou must fight back! Like this!

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And this! And this!

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NA-HA-HA!

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This isn't in the script!

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Heh-heh-heh!

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I LOVE THE THEATRE!

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He's trying to kill me!

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Oh, please.

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He's been pummelling me at every rehearsal!

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You've just got the jitters. You'll be fine.

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Come on, Trevor. Julian wants us to get the battle tank ready

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-to run over Eric repeatedly.

-Ooh.

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Heh. Maybe I am overreacting?

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If I get through this last rehearsal,

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we might finally get to...

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OH-EUGH-UGH...

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Hold everything!

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I present a last-minute rewrite.

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It's opening night and this final scene is still lacking passion,

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danger!

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I have just the thing.

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And...action!

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Awesome Guy, 'tis now time to meet your MacMaker!

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-Mmh.

-KITTY GASPS

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GARRGGHH!

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ARGH!

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YES! More! We need more drama!

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More jeopardy! More danger!

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Ha-ha! Ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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This is crazy! This isn't in the script!

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Eric, stop whining!

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WHOA!

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-And start acting!

-Who's whining?

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Noweth, jump and save me verily!

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Triumph!

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We shall now - finally -

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seal this victory with a kiss.

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Cut!

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-Oh, come on!

-It's still not right!

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We will rehearse this again and again and AGAIN!

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Tonight, we must filleth this theatre with drama!

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And maybe more explosions?

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That's it! You want drama, I'll give you drama!

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I quit!

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Eric, you can't quit! It's opening night!

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I tell ya, he's trying to kill me!

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Fine. Quit. Whatever.

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Alan will be much better, anyway.

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I look forward to acting with you tonight.

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But our kiss... That will not be acting.

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Back off, fish lips! I've suffered too long to let you get the glory.

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Or that kiss!

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-I'm back in the play!

-Eurgh.

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Perfect.

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Hit it!

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Opening night rocks! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Giveth me all your coins or I shall do evil things anon.

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-ARRGGHH!

-Ha-ha!

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Um, I think if your super is a hero no more,

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we must vanquish him and save the world!

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But I am but a humble sidekick, fair maiden.

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How am I to defeatest my master?

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ARRGGHH!

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Oh, good question.

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EXPLOSIONS AND SCREAMING

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Hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-HA-ha-ha!

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-How am I doing out there?

-You're doing...great.

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You're almost finished... I mean, the play's almost finished.

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I'm no critic,

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but I give it 87-and-a-half stars and two thumbs sideways.

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Even if Drilliam IS trying to kill me,

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it'll all be worth it after this final scene...

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It's time to smooch!

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Saveth me, mine hero!

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Thiseth is it.

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I onceth was a lonely sidekick, but now I am hero.

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Do thy worst!

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That's worse, all right.

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ARGH! ARGH!

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Phew.

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Gotta...maketh...to...the...kiss!

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Noweth, jump and save me verily!

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Yes. YES!

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Wha...?

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Huh?

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No! Trevor, what did you do?

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Oops, wrong button.

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My play is undone.

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Oh, woe is me.

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Unless...

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Get back out there!

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AUDIENCE BOOS

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Heh-heh-heh.

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So, it has come down to this...

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To take up arms against mine former master.

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Well, I guess.

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Vana... I mean, Lady MacBlast.

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Saveth me, my bravest of heroes.

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'Tis now time to meet your MacMaker!

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AUDIENCE CHEERS

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Triumph, he is defeated!

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And you are saved.

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We shalt now seal this victory with a kiss.

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ARRGGHH!

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-Whoo!

-He-hey-hey!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-Now THAT...was theatre!

-It sure was.

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Next time, just kill me. OK?

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