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Eric and the Maxum Brain Factory Sidekick

Eric and the Maxum Brain Factory

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Transcript

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# We are Splitsboro kids And we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best While playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff And looking super cool!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros With full-sized super dreams!

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

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# Just like superheroes Just like super zeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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Ah. Nothing like a peaceful float in the old Maxum pool, huh, Trevor?

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Hee-hee-hee-yeah!

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CROWD CHEERS

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SPLASH!

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Not cool, guys.

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I know a certain uptight hovering computer

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that's going to be SO peeved.

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Chill, ladies.

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Try it, you know you want to.

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CROWD CHEERS

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Woo-hoo-hoo!

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CROWD GROANS

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CROWD CHEERS

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Go away! Vamoose! Get out, everyone!

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Relax, Maxum Brain. Those were my friends you flicked away!

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You're lucky I didn't flush them down the pool drain like last time!

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Woo-hoo-hoo! Heh-heh.

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Great party!

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Where am I?

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You got to chill with your safety rules and emergency procedures.

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-Who needs them?

-You do!

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I am the most powerful super computer on Earth,

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but instead of servicing the needs of a superhero,

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I am baby-sitting a super slob.

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I am not a bubble gum disposal unit,

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an underwear warmer, nor a beverage dispenser.

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Heh-heh-heh-heh. Hm-hm-hm... ARGH!

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Sometimes, I wish you'd just pack your hard drive and leave.

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-Oh, you'd like that?

-Yes, I would.

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Oh, you'd really like that?

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Oh, yes, I RE-E-EALLY would.

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Oh, you really, really...

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Cut to the chase, people!

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Well, maybe I will.

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BEEPING

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And another thing...

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Agh!

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Oh, no, you didn't just leave.

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But you will know when I tell you to leave

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and it's really time to leave!

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Let's see how this plays out.

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Don't turn your back on me!

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I've got plenty of stuff to complain about.

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One - who asked you to iron my underwear in the first place?

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Two...

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GARBLED SPEECH

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7,659 - bedbugs CAN be pets

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and... That should do it.

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Ah, I'm glad we have these souvenirs

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of our trek through Slovakia to keep us warm.

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-Oh, yeah.

-You bet.

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So, how goes the argument?

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It just took an interesting...twist.

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-ALL:

-Whoa!

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-THEY GASP

-I'm in heaven!

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Who-o-oa!

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Look at all the touchable doohickeys. Heh-heh.

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-Whoa.

-What is this place.

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And where's Brain?

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Halt. Go no further.

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-ALL:

-Ugh.

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Who dares violate my robotic Shangri-La?

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How about turning up the lights so you can see "who dares", genius?

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You are right.

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That is being much better.

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-ALL:

-Whoa!

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-ALL:

-Eugh.

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Welcome to my amazing Maxum Brain factory.

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It's... Wha... Ga-ga... Wha...

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Whoa... He's a...

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This is the most brilliant inventor in the history of inventing,

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Maximus R Brainius, creator of Maxum Brain.

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Hn-hn-hn-hn.

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I do enjoy the visitors, I get them so rarely,

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-but why are you here?

-We followed Maxum Brain.

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Hey, where is that box of bolts, anyway?

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I've activated the homing beacons and all the older Brain models

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so they would return to my factory for an upgrade.

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Oh! So that explains why Brain was acting like such a zombie.

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That, or his zombie mode switch might have activated.

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You never know when you need an army of zombie computers to serve you.

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Hn-hn-hn-hn-hn.

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Oops. I have said too much.

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Who wants an I heart Maxum Brain T-shirt?

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I do!

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-ME-E-E!

-Agh.

-Hm-hm-hm-hm.

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Uh-uh.

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Uh, how sad.

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Look at the toxic waste.

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Technology comes with a price to our environment.

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I repeat, how sad.

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Huh?

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Last stop on the tour,

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this is where all the 1.0 Maxum Brains will be incinerated.

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-What?!

-Ooh. Did I say incinerated? I meant, er, destroyed.

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Vapourised.

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Recycled into adult diapers.

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But you said you were upgrading the Maxum Brains.

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Oh, yes, but the upgrading is total.

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I must destroy all inferior models.

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You can watch, but it is disturbing.

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A-A-ARGH!

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Er.. Note to self -

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do not programme 2.0 models to scream in pain.

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Heh-heh. What was I thinking?

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Maxum Brain...destroyed?

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Sure, we've had our problems, but...

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vaporised?

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HE SOBS

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This is all so sudden.

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Look away!

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And...

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Enough sadness. Do not weep for your lost friend.

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He was old and out of date.

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Rejoice, for he will be reborn as the new Maxum Brain 2.0.

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Wow! This makes Maxum Brain's horrible destruction

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yesterday's news.

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It's so shiny!

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Must activate.

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Ah!

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Hey! What's going on? Argh!

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-Silence!

-Ow.

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THEY ALL GASP

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Stand up straight!

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Do your homework!

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-Scrub the toilets!

-Ah!

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-Get in shape!

-Whoa!

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Um...

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Ah, yes. The Brain 2.0 is 1,000 times more rule-applying

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than previous Brains.

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It has a GPS rule-breaking locator

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and state of the art magnet tricks.

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Excuse me, children,

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it seems that one of my robots has learned to think on its own -

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must nip that in the bud.

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Enjoy your new computer.

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Enjoy? Ha, right.

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Maxum Brain may have been a nag,

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but at least he put up with my classic Eric-tude,

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not like THIS piece of junk.

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ZAP!

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Oh, we are so getting our Maxum Brain back,

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even if I have to put him back together piece-by-piece.

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And as for you...

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Nargh!

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HE BREATHES CRAZEDLY

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Hm.

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Hm.

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Awesome.

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SQUELCHING

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Ah!

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THEY ALL GASP

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-And run!

-ALL:

-A-A-ARGH!

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Brain.

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Brain.

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-Bra-a-ain?

-SHE GASPS

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BRAIN CHANTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE He's still alive!

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We've got to get him down before he's melted into unicorn horns and magic,

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or whatever computers are made of.

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Huh-ho, Eric, we have to talk.

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And I've got it!

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THEY ALL SIGH

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Eh! Wah! Eh!

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-ERIC GASPS

-Wow!

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Eu-u-ugh!

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-ALARM BLARES

-You're all free!

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Free as the wind!

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-CRASH! MAXUM BRAINS:

-Eugh.

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Nice job, amigo.

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Well, at least I tried.

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Eurgh. Brain, wake up!

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Oh. Ah.

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No!

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No. This Brain might be broken down and annoying,

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but he's the Brain I want.

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Time for plan B!

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HE WHEEZES

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A reboot would've been enough, and much less revolting,

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but whatevs! Let us get out of here.

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-Halt! Intruders.

-ENGINE REVS

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THEY GASP

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Get them!

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Ooh. Eh.

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-Ha-ha-ha-ha.

-TYRES SCREECH

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Whoa-ho!

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Argh!

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Argh!

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I did it!

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-ALL:

-Ah!

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-ALL:

-Who-o-o-oah!

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-FIRE BLASTS ALL:

-Who-o-oa!

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Now I did it.

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Rargh-ha-ha-ha! Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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You really have to stop saying that.

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I can't go in there. My circuits will surely short circuit.

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Would you rather be incinerated?

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You are right...for once.

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Cover my eyes, I do not want to watch.

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Yeurgh.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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SHE GASPS

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HE GASPS

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-Who-o-o-o-oa!

-O-o-o-o-h!

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Note to self - design brakes in all 3.0 models.

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A-a-a-a-argh!

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BOOM!

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I can't believe it.

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Saved by the same toxic sludge that threatens our planet.

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Don't rub it in, OK?

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This does not process.

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Why did I not explode like my more advanced replacement?

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Looks like Eric's undies absorbed all the sludge.

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And this old bubble gum shielded your vital components.

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-MAXUM BRAIN GASPS

-The very Eric filth I always hated

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saved me in the end.

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No need to thank me. Just admit I'm always right.

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Always right? Always right?!

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Like how you're right about filling your mattress with live geese?!

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What? It's still feathers!

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Or how about the time you used an adult diaper as a slingshot?

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What's wrong with that?!

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How about the time you tried to build a model of the Taj Mahal...

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to full scale?!

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BUBBLING

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