Pains, Sprains and Maxum Mobiles Sidekick


Pains, Sprains and Maxum Mobiles

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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Brain, are you down there?

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Why is it so dark?

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Ow! Ow!

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Argh.

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Hey, what's that under the car-shaped, car-hiding car sheet?

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Oh, that? That is nothing.

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It is most certainly not Maxum Man's brand-new top-of-the-line

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limited edition Maxum Mobile

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which I am far too excited not to talk about.

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Oops.

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Oh, OK. Humdy-dum...

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P-za!

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Fine. It is Maxum Man's brand-new limited edition Maxum Mobile

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he ordered before he disappeared.

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Can we just take it for a test drive?

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Please, pretty please, please, please, please?

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HIGH PITCHED: Pleaaaaaase!

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Absolutely not!

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Remember what happened the last time you drove a Maxum machine?

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I have a vague recollection. HE BLOWS

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Now, I am leaving on a conveniently timed battery-charging retreat

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and I want you to promise that you will not drive the new Maxum Mobile.

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Ugh, fine. I promise.

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That is being a good sidekick. Brain, out.

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CRASH

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-Trevor, get over here. You're not going to believe...

-Dude, huh?

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This car rocks!

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-Maybe we shouldn't touch anything.

-You're probably right.

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BUTTONS BEEP

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CHOMPING

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-Whoa!

-Wicked!

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Computerised robot

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and uber-interactive software engine is now online.

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You may call me Cruise. How may I assist you?

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-Would you like to fight evil?

-Gasp!

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-Help the less fortunate?

-Gasp!

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-Perhaps rescue a kitten?

-Gasp!

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Ugh, I can't. I promised Brain.

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Dude, you've got the coolest car ever

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and you're not going to drive it?

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I don't even know you any more.

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I gave my word, Trevor. And when Eric Needles gives his word, he...

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Oh, who am I kidding?

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Hey, Vana, want to go for a ride?

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With you? Ha!

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There's no way I would ever in one million years...

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SHE GASPS

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Is that a new Maxum Mobile? I can't believe it!

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I'll take that as a yes. Cruise, to Vana's house.

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Kindly buckle your safety belts, sirs,

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check blind spots, and review your driver's manual before...

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Manual shmanual. I'm one key turn away from happily-Vana-after.

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Finally, I get to come out on top!

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How did we end up in a super prison riot?

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I don't know what's going on and I don't want to find out. Follow me!

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Megamatraz, how did we get here?

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It was epic! You don't remember?

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-Not a thing.

-Me neither. But it had to be awesome.

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I guess I can check causing prison riot off the to-do list. Check.

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The last thing I remember, I was starting the Maxum Mobile and...

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HE GASPS The Maxum Mobile.

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Cruise, where is he?

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He-he. We lost the car, too?

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I'm on a roll!

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Don't panic.

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All we have to do to find Cruise before Brain gets back

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is retrace our steps.

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FIGHT RUMBLES

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THEY SCREAM

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-Well, that didn't work.

-Check.

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Ow.

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Kitty, have you by any chance seen the new... Ah!

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Rrar, rar!

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SHE GRUNTS Is that Vana?

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She doesn't want to see you, Eric.

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-She's still mutated from last night.

-Um, about that...

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We are a little hazy on some of the details.

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You mean you don't remember?

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Sure we do. Most of it.

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Some of it.

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None of it.

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HE SLURPS

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Ah, glowy and burny, just like Grandpa used to make.

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Well, it all started

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when you showed up looking totally dreamy in the new Maxum Mobile.

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Then everything went bad.

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And it went worse!

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LASERS FIRE

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Next thing I knew, Vana was airborne.

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Good thing she landed in that vat of toxic waste.

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Well, not so good for you, Eric.

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I don't remember any of that.

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Why would the car try to hurt Vana?

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Dude, it's toxi-licious.

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-MONSTROUS SCREAM:

-Eric! Vana smash!

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Ahhh! Let go, Trevor!

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Ow, my spleen. Ow, my kidney!

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Ahh!

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HE PANTS

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I think we lost her.

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Can we get something to eat now?

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We can use these Swellburger coupons I found in your underpants.

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Would you stop taking my stuff? Wait, underpants...

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No, that's not it. Wait! Coupons.

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Maybe we were at Swellburger last night.

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Yep, we were here.

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THEY CRY It's gone? What happened?

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'Maxum Man's sidekick. That's what happened.

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'Him and his fancy new car.'

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'Last night, he and his bonehead buddy pulled up.

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'They ordered to Swelly combos, two fried cheesy rings,

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'and an extra order of grease-adillas.'

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Mm-mm-mm! Grease-adillas.

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I wonder who his buddy was.

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THEY LAUGH

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'Then, as they were about to leave...'

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EXPLOSION

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Um, that was an interesting story, talking post,

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but I would like an order of your finest grease-adillas, please.

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Extra grease, less dillas.

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'I know that voice! You're the bonehead!

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-'You did this!'

-No way! We would never.

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'It's them! The ones who nuked Swellburger.

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'Get him!'

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Wait, we are innocent. Hopefully.

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I want my grease-adillas! Arr!

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Trevor, let it go. Let it go!

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-Huh?

-What?

-Yikes.

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VANA GRUNTS

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Double yikes!

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Oh, yeah, them.

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Ah!

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Killed by angry mob. I am so Mr Productive today.

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We're trapped. Where's the supercar when you need it?

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ENGINE ROARS

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Hello, Eric.

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And goodbye!

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Ah!

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TYRES SQUEAL

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Yeah! We found the car.

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I love happy endings.

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Trevor, something is seriously wrong with Cruise.

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And he's heading for the mansion. Come on!

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I told you not to touch the car! But did you listen? No.

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Now Cruise has turned evil.

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Destroy! Destroy!

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But I didn't do anything.

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I just turned the key and the next thing I knew

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I was in Megamatraz prison.

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Key? What key?

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-Cruise doesn't start with a key.

-HE GASPS

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Eric, don't tell me you turned the good/evil key.

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A good/evil key? Are you serious? What? Why is that even a thing?

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Eh, villains need transportation too.

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You should have reviewed your driver's manual!

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But I'm glad you didn't.

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Now Splitsborough is mine! Ha-ha-ha!

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I...I...remember!

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You should've gotten rid of me when you had the chance, Cruise.

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Nobody mutates Vana, locks me in Megamatraz, zaps my brain,

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destroys Swellburger and gets away with it.

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-You remember?

-Every minute.

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Except why we woke up in our underwear.

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But maybe that is for the best.

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No matter.

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I am a state-of-the-art example of super-vehicular technology.

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You cannot stop me!

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That's where you are wrong, Cruise.

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If there's one thing I can do, it's total a car.

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Yeah, you can.

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Gah!

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Ah! My burning, streak-free eyes. Gah!

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Take this, your hunk of an indestructible super-cool junk.

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HE GRUNTS

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Buckle up, Eric. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

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Rrr! Vana, Kitty... Trevor?

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Join angry mob, check-a-roo.

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HE GROANS

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-Ah!

-Say goodbye to your little friends, Eric.

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ALARM WAILS

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-Ha.

-Time to pull over, Cruise, cos it's the end of the road.

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Grrrr.

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What? Hey, what are you doing?

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Don't touch that. No, no!

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Noooo!

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Hello, Eric. How may I assist you?

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I did it! I stopped evil car and saved everybody. I'm a hero!

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THEY CHEER

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-Eric rules!

-Boo!

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Yes, you did indeed do it.

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But only after you caused this whole mess!

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-Get him!

-Oh, Eric.

-Yay!

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Ah!

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-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Evil again?

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OK, this time I definitely didn't do it.

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Sorry, dude. Pummelling you is last on my list. Check!

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Gah!

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