For Real Estate Sidekick


For Real Estate

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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Welcome back to Lairs, where we

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snoop around the homes of villains and heroes.

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Tonight, a sidekick secret.

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And here's the Maxum Toilet,

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which because of Maxum Man's super-everything,

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needs to be super-strong.

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Ah-ha-ha!

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Eric!

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THEY LAUGH

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Eric, I specifically told you not to put the house on TV.

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I even said, "Do not put the mansion on this show that you are watching,"

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which was this show that we are now watching.

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You're all just jealous because after this

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everyone will know that I am totally cool.

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They're going to show your personal stuff, right?

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Stuff that no-one has ever seen before, even through the window,

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while you were sleeping.

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Curse you, curtains.

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Curtains!

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Shh. The magic box is talking.

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And this is the Maxum Kitchen, where all Maxum Man's food things are.

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Gah!

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Here, can I offer you a meatball?

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FLIES BUZZ

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And this is my bedroom, which as you can see is awesome

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and not infectious at all, so... No need to dwell.

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Dwell. Dwell! Ha-ha-ha!

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No, no, wait.

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That's nothing. Leave it.

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CUPBOARD RUMBLES

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Yeah, erm... These aren't mine.

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THEY LAUGH

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-They said they'd cut that part. TOY:

-Love Eric.

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You know, Eric, you may have disobeyed me but it was worth it.

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High tentacle!

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HE SNORES

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"Eric, Eric, wake up..."

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is what I would be saying if we were not homeless hobos without houses.

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Erm... Why are we outside? And what's a "for taking" sign?

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It is like a "for sale" sign, but instead of a house being

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for sale, an evil real estate lady just takes your house and sells it.

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Gah!

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Name's Flo Closure. I caught your Lairs episode last night.

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You are quite the showman. I'm kidding, you are awful.

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Mansion's great, though. It'll make a perfect evil lair. Here's my card.

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I can definitely sell this place - whether you want me to or not.

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Add a tar pit here, trap door there, I can taste my 10%.

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What? You can't just sell the mansion. I know my rights.

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Splitsboro Law 292, Section C,

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"If Flo wants to sell your house, she can."

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-Huh. I do not know my rights at all.

-Now, step off, son.

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Your do-gooder-ness is hurting my kerb appeal.

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Oh, yeah? Well, prepare to meet my kerb and appeal.

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Yah! BOOM

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Who knew she had lasers in her corsage?

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-Thanks for letting us crash here, Trevor.

-All good, bro.

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Well, I am taking no pleasure in saying that this is all your fault.

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Or, more truthfully, I am taking much pleasure.

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Look, my fault, our fault, not my fault... Let's not quibble.

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We have to find a way to get the mansion back.

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Human pinata!

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That's it - disguises. We'll disguise ourselves and sneak into the mansion.

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You're a genius, Trevor.

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Sugar crash!

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HE SNORES

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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Finally, the Maxum Mansion will be mine.

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Not if Brute get house first. What?

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Brute need to spread wings.

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So, you are Evil McEvil and his son Bad Guy Junior?

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Say, you guys look like what good guys think bad guys look like.

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Say something evil!

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Something evil.

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HE GULPS

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I hate hugs.

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Hmm... You boys are all right.

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Enjoy the tour.

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I had to install the mucus-sprayer.

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The former owner - "good guys" -

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actually washed themselves with water.

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-Weirdos.

-Weirdos?

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I'll give them weirdos.

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Ah!

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I wanted to create the feeling of being attacked by a wild beast,

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but why just feel

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when you can fee-ee-eel?

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GROWLING

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LEOPARD ROARS

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Ah!

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And finally... You should have seen the dusty old mainframe computer.

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Don't EVEN get me started.

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So, I added some patented Wreckorator flair...

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Vultures.

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No. What have you done?

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-THEY GASP

-Oh...

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You can muck up the house and change the wallpapers all you want

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but nobody messes with my mainframe.

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Are you ready, Eric? Eric?

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ERIC SCREAMS

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Evil!

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HE GROANS

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-Don't worry. Kitty will take care of you.

-Thanks.

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It was really nice of you to let us stay here and treat our wounds

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and share your photo collection.

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SHE GIGGLES

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We really should be going now.

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Don't be silly, guys.

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You're staying here forever.

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Ever, ever, ever...

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OK, or we could...

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RUN!

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Open! Open!

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Not on your life.

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To get the mansion back,

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we need to beat out all the other people who want it

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in the bidding war, and may I remind you

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that in Splitsboro, a bidding war is an actual war of fists and such.

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Maybe we should just let them have it.

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I mean, this bed is pretty comfy.

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-Yes, Grandpa seems to think so.

-Grandpa? What do you mean Gra...

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GAH!

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Contestants, welcome to the bidding war.

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A knockdown, drag-out fight to the finish.

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Last one standing takes the mansion

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and I take my 10%.

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On your marks, get set,

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let the bidding war...begin!

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ALL: Ah!

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GUN ZAPS

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Ow! Ah! Ow! Ugh!

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Whoa-ho.

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HE GASPS

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Ah!

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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-Huh, huh...

-Ah!

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HE PANTS It's time for plan B.

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Who are you kidding, Eric? You don't have plan Bs.

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Look, I know this mansion like the front of Vana's face,

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so let's use its secrets against them.

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Stop looking at my face.

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Why do all of Eric's plans involve a toilet?

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Huh! Ya!

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TOILET FLUSHES

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Eric's plan worked?

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I must never speak of this again.

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HE WHIMPERS

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We are finished, kid. This house is mine!

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OK, OK. You win.

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But before you stomp me into dust, can I have one last request?

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-What is it?

-A snack.

-Well, I don't see any harm in a...

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No! What is that? It's disgusting. It's revolting. It's...

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It's delicious.

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OM NOM NOM NOM

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UM NUM NUM NUM

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Stop, no! Stay back. Ah.

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Ah!

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SHE PANTS

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Why did I agree to this?

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Little girl, you need to let Brute catch you

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and crush you and win house war.

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Eric said there'd be something to take out Brute

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in the evil gadget room. Bu-bu-bu-but where?

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-Ah-ha!

-Huh?

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Ooh, give to Brute.

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Ugh. Box pretty. Box mine.

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LULLABY PLAYS

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Ah!

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Eric did it!

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Ah, and it looks like I just found Vana's Birthday present.

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GUN FIRES

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Gah!

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GUN FIRES

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HE PANTS

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Hmm... Hee-hee-hee-ha!

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-Aw, I loved that lamp.

-I liked it, too. Hold still.

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There's nowhere left for you to hide.

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Any last words before I steal Maxum Mansion?

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And end the most annoying sidekick career ever?

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Yes. Humiliation beats annihilation.

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Ah!

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-TOY:

-Love Eric.

-ERIC CHUCKLES

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-I bet you're mad we won the mansion back.

-Doesn't matter to me, kid.

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I told ya - Flo always gets her 10%.

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-HELICOPTER WHIRRS

-Ha-ha-ha.

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Aw... That 10% was my room.

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BUILDING RUMBLES

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Welcome to Super Extreme Renovations. Tonight, Maxum Mansion.

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Eric, I thought I told you not to put the mansion on TV,

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but in this case I'm happy you did.

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Hmm... Who knew they could rebuild the mansion so fast?

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Yeah, almost makes you want to destroy it all over again.

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House pinata!

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CRASH

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