The Dingalingalish Patient Sidekick


The Dingalingalish Patient

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes

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# Just like superzeros

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-# But only half as big

-Sidekick!

-#

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OK, open bomb bay doors!

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Oh, you are so brave.

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Let's go, dude.

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Wait, why am I doing this again?

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It's Maxum Brain's new rule -

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before getting any food, I have to defeat one villain -

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or clean my room.

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-I haven't eaten in months!

-STOMACH GURGLES

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I don't usually question you, Eric,

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but this time, your plan feels a little too plummety and splatty.

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We're skydiving onto a blimp -

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what could possibly go wrong?

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Um... We're skydiving onto a what-now?

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-Whoo-hoo!

-Whoo-hoo!

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ERIC AND TREVOR SCREAM

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Don't tell me - they went splat, right?

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-Whoo-hoo-hoo!

-Ya-ha-ha!

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It's over, Cumulate.

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Needles! How did you find me?

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You're the only villain stealing manatees

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and flying in a giant junk-sucking blimp.

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Fair enough. What can I say?

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-HIGH-PITCHED:

-I am a hoarder - I love stuff!

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TREVOR CHUCKLES

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HIGH PITCHED: You sound funny.

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Wait, I do too!

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It's like that time I inhaled all those helium balloons

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at that toddler's birthday party.

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He cried for hours!

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-HIGH-PITCHED:

-That was me.

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It's hydrogen, actually.

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Same silly voice, but much more explosive

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if someone was crazy enough to say, er...

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Oh, fire a laser cannon.

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Like this one?

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Exactly like that one.

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You're trying to trick me.

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Well, I'm hungry and I am not cleaning my room,

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so take this, Brain!

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..And you too, Cumulate.

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LASER BLAST

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Ha! Who's crazy now...

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BOOM

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ECG BEEPS

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I'm alive?

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Yes! I knew my silly unnecessary risk wouldn't end badly -

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-right, Trevor?

-HE GASPS

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Trevor, is that you?

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You're in that body cast for some other reason

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and not because I made you jump into a giant blimp vacuum

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and then blew up said giant blimp vacuum, right?

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Maybe I did have a little something to do with it.

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-ERIC GIGGLES

-Eric!

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We got here as soon as we could,

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after stopping at the salon for five hours.

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Kitty, you know what flying at ultrasonic speed does to my hair.

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GROANS KITTY AND VANA SCREAM

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Don't worry, Trevor.

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I know I messed up, but I'm going to stand by your plastery side

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until you're back on your feet.

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Eugh.

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Ew!

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Now, let's get you out of this crummy, state-of-the-art,

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highly respected hospital.

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Grah! Gah!

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There we go.

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Home sweet... Oops!

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I meant to get that fixed.

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Gah! And that.

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That I had nothing to do with.

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ERIC GRUNTS

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CRASH CAT YOWLS

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WHOMP ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

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There you go, buddy. I'll just prop you up...

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here on the couch... There.

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Just type what you need to say

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and the computer will translate it into your own voice.

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IN TREVOR'S VOICE: You really think I can type with my toe?

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-Whoa, das ist amazing!

-Sweet!

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The Maxum Toe Typer is working great. Phew!

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OK, man, what else can I get you? Movie? Video game? Just name it.

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I hate to be a bother, Eric -

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but could you run a few errands for me?

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ERIC LAUGHS

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Dude, why are you talking weird?

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You never call me "Eric" -

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it's always "dude" or "man" or "buddy" -

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and you love being a bother.

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And who says "errands"?

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Don't you mean "stink jobs"?

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Um, that is what I meant. Do my stink jobs.

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That's more like it.

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Wow, um...some of this stuff is really expensive and hard to find.

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Ow, my bones.

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How I wish I never got blown up by my best friend.

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You're right.

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I'll get all this weird stuff for you, pal - I promise.

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ERIC GRUNTS

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Here's those 12 vacuum motors, man.

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Oh - and the girls are here.

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Eric, don't you think it's a little odd that Trevor asked you

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to get a bunch of blimp and vacuum parts...

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..Right after we battled a villain who flew a giant blimp vacuum?

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What? No! Trevor just needed this stuff for his...

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Wait, what is this stuff for again?

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Um... Oh! Ah...

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Oh! Ow! Agh, my body.

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Oh, no!

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Dude, I feel terrible for doubting.

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Is there anything else you need?

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Well, a roll of two-ply super-strength titanium foil

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to reinforce my blimp...

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I mean...to cover my leftovers.

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Aw!

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Your concern for your surplus food is so touching.

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You got it!

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How can anyone be so clueless?

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-No kidding!

-Hey, do you mind?

-INDUSTRIAL DRILLING

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VANA AND KITTY WHIMPER

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Now, if I was a package of super-strength titanium foil,

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where would I be?

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Hey, dude.

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Hey. Do you know where the super foil is?

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-Sure do, buddy. Aisle five.

-Thanks.

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ERIC HUMS

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ERIC GASPS

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Free cheese!

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CHOMP CHOMP

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Whoa! Holy guacamole, dude! What are you doing here?

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I'm eating tiny speared cheese samples!

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What are you doing here?

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But...but...but...you're at the mansion right now, in a body cast!

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Ha-ha! I wish. Casts are awesome.

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They're itchy, they stink and...

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hair grows like crazy underneath them.

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This is from the last cast I wore. JUNGLE SYMPHONY

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But how did you not get hurt in the crash?

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Wait, how did I not get hurt in the crash?

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LASER BLAST BOOM

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SCREAMS

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SEA COWS MOO

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But...if you haven't been at the Mansion, then...

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who has?

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Dun-dun-DUN!

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THEY GASP

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CUMULATE CACKLES

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-Cumulate!

-That's right, Needles.

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Thanks so much for helping me rebuild my evil master plan.

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Oh, and that automatic body cast escape saw came in super handy.

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Oh, man! I thought I was taking care of you this whole time.

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Really? You would have taken care of me?

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You're a good friend, man.

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When this is over, we should do something nice -

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-just the two of us.

-Like a movie, or...

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I don't know how "nice" a movie is...

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It doesn't have to be a movie, I just thought you wanted to see...

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-Yeah, no. It's fine. It's OK, yeah, fine.

-Uh, guys?

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If you could start saving the day here a little bit...

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There will be no day-saving, once Eric hands over that foil.

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I can finish patching my blimp and my hoarding will resume!

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You still got the foil, even after you found the real Trevor? Why?

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It's so I could say this... Ahem.

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Cumulate, it looks like your plan is officially...

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foiled! Eh?

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Nice.

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-Boo!

-Oh, come on!

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Solid one-liner, Mr Needles.

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But I think you still fail to appreciate how much my plan...

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sucks!

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VACUUM ROARS CUMULATE CACKLES

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My pun's still better.

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GAS HISSES

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Oh! So I see you you've gotten yourself into yet another fine mess!

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You know, Brain -

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you could help us escape, instead of giving yet another boring lecture.

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Yes, I could. But why would I?

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Because, if you do this one thing to me, I will perform the most heroic,

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most day-saving, most death-defying feat ever -

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I will clean my room.

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Huh?

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Agreed! No take-backs.

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MONKEYS SHRIEK

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This is pretty much exactly what I expected your room would look like.

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Inner sanctum...

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-What?

-What... are we doing here, Eric?

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I mean, shouldn't we be chasing Cumulate?

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Why chase the fish when you've got bait?

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Wait, "fish"? What?

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Fish - the villain?

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He's the fish and the messy room is the bait.

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-You've lost me, Eric.

-I'm stumped too, dude.

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-Whoosh.

-What he said.

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It's a metaphor - or maybe a simile -

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I always mix those two...

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Never mind! Just watch.

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BEEP

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You're too late, Needles - I've already escaped!

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-Free to hoard again!

-CUMULATE CACKLES

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Aw, drat.

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Well, I'm just glad that you didn't hoard my room before escaping -

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and to think, all this time, you've been sitting

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right next to the greatest pile of cool junk the world has ever known.

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Oh? Really? Where?

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Aw! So...much...junk...

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Tell me about it. Oh, well.

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-I guess you're just...

-CRASH

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VACUUM ROARS ALL SCREAM

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CUMULATE CACKLES

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So much junk! So much stuff!

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Suck!

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Suck!

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ALL SCREAM

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Think he learned his lesson

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and filled the balloon with helium this time, instead of hydrogen?

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LASER CHARGES

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CUMULATE CACKLES

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LASER BLAST

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Guess not.

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Well, it looks like having a disgustingly messy room

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saved the day, after all.

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You never said anything like that.

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-HIGH-PITCHED:

-Yup, saved the day.

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HIGH-PITCHED: Hey - our voices are going all squirrelly again!

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TREVOR GIGGLES

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Oh, my! Was anyone turning off the hydrogen valve

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after Cumulate's blimp took off?

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GAS HISSES

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Seriously, though?

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"Your plan is foiled"?

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What's not to like?

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ERIC GROANS

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Now, that I like.

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LAUGHTER SEA COW MOOS

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