Eric of the Board Sidekick


Eric of the Board

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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# Just like superheroes Just like superzeros

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# But only half as big! Sidekick! #

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Ah, pedalling. In my book, there's no better way to gain momentum.

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ARGH!

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Eric Needles, I am Maxum Business Clone 01.

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You have been scheduled!

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I do not like the sound of that!

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Argh-argh-argh!

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ARGH!

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Luckily, I've got a secret weapon for just this kind of situation.

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BELL RINGS

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BELL RINGS

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BELL RINGS

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But that always works!

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I give up! You guys mean business.

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-BOTH:

-Exactly.

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We are the chair clones of the board of Maxumcore Enterprises.

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It is time for work.

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Work? Maxumcore?

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We?!

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I really don't like the sound of this!

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We were cloned by Maxum Man to oversee his businesses.

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He has been on extended vacation.

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Emergency protocol has now been activated.

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You are now in charge of his company and its many products.

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Wow!

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A rival company threatens to take over Maxumcore.

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As Maxum Man's sidekick, it is your duty to be chief executive.

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Chief execu-thingy? I like the sound of that!

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Su-weet!

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I can do it, clones! I'll be the best chief execu-thingy ever!

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To Maxumcore HQ!

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Ahem.

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Ew.

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Am I sitting on you or in you?

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PFFT!

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Are you sure this is the right place?

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That's what Eric's e-mail said.

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One Maxumcore Way, Maxumcore District, Maxumcore o'clock.

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It's half past Maxumcore o'clock already!

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Hello, unsuccessful people!

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The Maxumcore private balloon. Only suckers use elevators.

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Yeah!

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What's going on here, Needles?

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Oh, sorry. You don't have any annoying questions scheduled today.

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How's your three o'clock look?

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Hm... Sure.

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Will you two quit scheduling and tell me what's going on here?!

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I am in control of Maxumcore, the big boss, head honcho,

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gooey enchilada, so follow me for the ride of your lives!

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Or we can use this door.

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Wow! Our best friend, head of the world's most powerful company!

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There's no telling what kind of exciting things will happen!

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This isn't very exciting.

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Yeah, about that...

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Turns out I have no idea what a boss does.

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Sorry, guys.

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A boss leads. He doesn't sit waiting for stuff to happen.

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Yeah! Make executive decisions.

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Like making me your executive vice-president!

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Your second-in-command, your numero dos enchilada, your...

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Argh!

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CLATTERING

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Don't listen to her. You need a strong, ruthless VP.

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Observe.

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Gah! Too many decisions!

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Decisions! That's what bosses do!

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I can decision!

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Cancel my one o'clock, make Vana and Kitty

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have a slug-eating contest for a VP job,

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make Trevor my official guinea pig!

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Good call, boss.

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You said it, time to get bossy!

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Ma-ma-moo-me-me-mey-mey.

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Note to self. Maxum Lemonade - failure. Still not sour enough.

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BOTH: Nice work, Biggie!

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CRASH

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Note to self. Maxum Anti-Gravity Boots - failure.

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Still not floaty enough.

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BOTH: Nice work, Biggie!

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Yah!

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And how's this for bossing?

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I combined the Maxum Death Ray Blaster Division with

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the Maxum Tot's Toy Line for kids!

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SQUEAK

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BOTH: Nice work, Biggie!

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Argh-oof!

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Argh!

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Note to self. Hire more vice presidents.

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BOTH: Ugh!

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Maxumcore has had its best week ever!

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All thanks to my executive decisions.

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Primo decisions, sir.

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Nice suit, sir.

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Now, I'll just read this business paper to confirm what I just said.

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CRASH

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It... It... It says Maxumcore is going out of business!

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BOTH GASP

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But what about my VP position?

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And what about my executive boot rest position?

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And what about my 8am meeting, or my 3pm pencil-sharpening?

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Or my coffee break at 3.15 or my coffee appreciation lesson

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at three or, or...?

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Aha-ha-ha, aha-ha-ha, aha!

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CRASH

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Good thing no-one can fire the boss, huh?

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-INTERCOM:

-'Eric Needles! Clone boardroom, now!'

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That doesn't sound too bad, right?

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ARGH!

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Oof.

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Eric Needles, your incompetence has only made things worse.

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The danger we have anticipated has arrived.

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A hostile takeover.

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Ha! Give me a break. That sounds like a lot of business mumbo jumbo.

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CRASH

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Argh, run!

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Argh!

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ALL GASP

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In Splitsboro, a hostile takeover is really a hostile takeover.

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Good luck with that.

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TYRES SQUEAL

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Good morning. I'm here for your company

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in a hostile way. Hm-hm-hm-ha-ha-ha!

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FIRE!

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GUNFIRE

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ALL: ARGH!

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There goes my 4.35 window cleaning and 4.38 window drying and my...

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Ow!

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I won't sit here and let my company get blasted!

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Sure, I made mistakes.

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Sure, I paid everyone in cotton candy.

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But no way am I letting Maxumcore go down without a fight!

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This is your boss speaking!

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Fight for Maxumcore with all you've got!

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ALARM Hose 'em!

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Yeah!

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-Yeah!

-Whoo-hoo!

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Note to self. Weapons-Grade Lemonade - approved.

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Hm-hm-hm-hm-ha-ha-ha!

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This company will be mine!

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Take that!

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BOXING ROUND BELL RINGS

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Hee-hee-hee-aha-ha-ha!

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I have you now, Sidekicks!

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Hee-hee-hee-aha-ha-ha!

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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Ah.

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Hm.

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Ahem.

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Hey! Anyone catch last night's

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episode of So You Think You Can Super?

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Moparella was totally robbed, huh?

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Oh, totally. What show are those judges watching anyway?

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Mm. Good cocoa, Zox!

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Oh, thank you.

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Ah!

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DING

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ALL: Aw!

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Well, back to the grind.

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Hee-hee-hee-aha-ha-ha!

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ELEVATOR BELL PINGS

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Oh, drat!

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ELEVATOR BELL PINGS

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Oh!

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# Hm-hm-hm-hm

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# Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm... #

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ELEVATOR BELL PINGS

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ALL: ARGH!

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ELEVATOR BELL PINGS

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Argh-argh-argh-argh-argh!

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You're the boss, Eric! What do we do?

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Yeah, Eric! I cannot have "blown to atoms" on my resume!

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Trevor! Where did you get that?

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Hey, man, business is stressful. Do not judge me.

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That's it! Guys, the answer is...

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..child's play!

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SQUEAK

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Hm-hm-hm-hm-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, President Eric! I've got a memo for you!

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Memo denied, Zox!

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Give up, Needles! Maxumcore will be mine!

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Hee-hee-hee-aha-ha-ha!

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Never, Zox! This company is my life. I will never surrend-

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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PFFT!

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Quitting time. Hm.

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Well, see you kids tomorrow, 9am sharp.

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Literally.

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ALL GULP

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Hm-hm-hm-ha-ha-ha!

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-Ah, what a day.

-You said it.

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DING

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DING

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Well, see you guys tomorrow. Remember, it's funny shirt day!

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-Whoo-hoo-hoo!

-Right on!

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Wait! Tomorrow can't just be another day like today!

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Being the boss has changed me.

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Things are going to be different.

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For the first time in my life, I have a real calling!

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Sure, I made mistakes.

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Sure, I photocopied my butt and plastered the pictures everywhere.

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-Ew!

-Ho-ho!

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But being the boss means something to me!

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Trust me, when you come back to work tomorrow,

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everything will be totally different.

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Gah, take that!

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What's so different about this?

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And where's Eric?

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BOXING ROUND BELL RINGS

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Ow!

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