Good Girls So Awkward

Hey, Lils, how you doing?

Oh, fine, yeah. Just hanging out.

By walking briskly into school.

Right. What's in the bag?

Oh, this?

Oh, it's just a little art project I've been working on.

-Can I see it?

-Well, it's just a bit of daubing.

-I bet it's brilliant.

-You think?

Yeah, course, you've done it.

What's it of?

It's you, Matt.

It's a lovely picture of yooou.

DISTORTED VOICE: Now I can stare at you whenever I want.

AAAAAAAAAARGH!

I'm going to have to paint over that.

What was I thinking?

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

# Ooooh

-# So

-So

-# So

-So

-# So

-So

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

# Ooh-ooh

-# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

-Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

-# So!

-So!

-# So!

-So!

-# So!

-So!

-# So!

-So!

# Ooh!

# So Awkward! #

I hate Tuesdays.

Me too! It's the sound of it, isn't it?

Tuezzzday.

No, not because of the way it sounds,

because it's double art and PE.

Oh, and you're rubbish at them.

I am not rubbish at them, they're just a waste of my time.

Because you're so rubbish. Like you are at break.

How can I be rubbish at break?

I don't know, but you manage it somehow.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Lily. What's in the bag?

It's my art project.

It's just a landscape.

Does that mountain look a bit like Matt?

No.

-What's yours?

-A sculpture.

I call it Pile Of Old Clothes.

I'm going to make it from a pile of old clothes.

Going to make it?! Jas, it has to be handed in today!

Yeah, got to keep it fresh. I'll put it together in PE.

I forgot my kit.

You can't pretend to forget your kit! That's wrong.

It's like running in the corridors.

Worse. It's worse than running in the corridors!

Relax! I'm not pretending to forget my kit,

I really did forget it, but on purpose.

How is that different?

It's completely different!

Whoa!

Are you OK?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, my goodness! Are you all right?

Yeah, thanks, Mrs Griggs. I only...

SHE GASPS

There, there, it's OK. Did the nasty boy scratch you?

That was there already, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

He didn't touch her.

It. The car.

I can't believe you lied.

I mean, just brazenly lied.

And to the headmistress.

-Yes, but...

-The headmistress.

I know what her job is.

You still went ahead and did it.

I don't think I know you any more, Lily Hampton.

Look, I know it was wrong to lie but it was kind of our fault.

It wasn't kind of our fault, it was precisely Jas' fault,

and that's what you should have said.

I can't grass up Jas!

Justice relies on truth, Lily. It's how the system works.

Yeah, but everyone thinks you're a s...

I'm a what?

Well, you know, just a bit of a snitch.

Remember when you told the governors that Mr Peterson

-kept crying in class?

-He wasn't fit to teach.

His wife had just run off with a school inspector.

That wasn't my fault.

His sobbing was interfering with our education.

I did that for everyone's good.

Therefore I am not a snitch.

If I was a snitch, I'd have told the PE teacher that Jas

deliberately forgot her kit, wouldn't I?

(Martha.)

That was careless talk.

I wasn't grassing her up.

Right, Lily?

Has anyone seen my tie?

No.

And so I didn't pretend to forget my PE kit.

I actually did forget it, but on purpose.

Oh, I see. Well, that is different.

I know, right?

The PE teacher didn't get it at all.

Oof!

PE teachers, what you going to do?

Hmm, I'm going to punish you.

What?

Not with the Wheel of Punishment?

Oh, yes.

Let's give it a spin, shall we?

Ooh.

So, since I skipped PE, I have to keep skipping

for the rest of the day.

Ooh, an old, wet glove!

This will look great on my art project.

Thanks for grassing me up, Martha.

I am not a grass!

-Yeah, right.

-I'm not!

Since when have you been interested in viaducts?

Since I lost my tie.

It's the biggest book in the library.

Lily!

Lying to the head, breaking the uniform code,

and now feigning an interest in civil engineering?!

What's happened to you?

You know what Mrs Griggs will do if she sees me without a tie.

-The baby bear bib?

-I'm not wearing that again.

Hi, Mrs Griggs.

I can't believe you involved me in that.

That's guilt by association!

I haven't lost my tie, my tie's right here.

I'm sorry, I can't be around you like this.

Your behaviour's become really troubling.

Break.

'How can I be rubbish at break?'

We'll see who can't do break.

That's not difficult.

Anyone can throw a cap about.

-Over here!

-Throw it.

-Yeah, come on.

Ah! Ooh!

-SHE GASPS

-Are you all right?

-Are you OK?

Sorry!

I've got to go...play chess.

Oi, is that my jacket?

Er, I don't know, I just got it off a random peg.

I was going to give it back.

Quick! Give me a hug.

..entire display all over here. Get rid of that, we don't need that yet.

Thanks for that.

Sorry, it's just the tie might see my headmistress,

and coat wanted his boy back.

Where's your tie?

Oh, I, er...kind of lost it.

Did you try Lost Property?

Yeah, but they didn't have it. It's got my name sewn in.

Which my mum put there.

I mean, mums, right?

Pff.

You could've just taken any old tie.

But, I mean, that would be wrong.

It would be, like, someone else's tie, wouldn't it?

OK. Well, you could go to Student Reception and just buy a new one.

Could I?

Of course I could!

That's a brilliant idea. Thanks, Matt.

You're my hero.

-Hello?

-Hi.

Oh. Hello.

-Um, is Mrs Rennison not here?

-She had to pop out.

I said I'd watch the counter for her. Can I help?

-I lost my tie.

-You're in luck.

We have a box that's just come in.

I never got to thank you for helping me out this morning.

That saved me a lot of hassle.

Oh, it's fine. I mean, it was kind of our fault.

But precisely Jas' fault.

How much do I owe you?

Just have it. It's the least I can do.

Are you sure? Aw, that's so nice of you. Thank you.

But don't let her see it.

SHE TALKS QUIETLY

-I think I just stole a tie.

-What?!

-I didn't mean to.

It was that sixth former from this morning. He told me to do it.

Lily, you don't steal neckwear just because somebody tells you to.

He was supposed to be selling it!

When you walk into a shop, you don't

expect the assistant to tell you to steal their wares, do you?

That's not how it's supposed to work.

I don't know what happened, I just panicked.

What am I going to do?

I don't know. Leave me out of your downward spiral.

Do you think they have got cameras? They probably have cameras.

I'm going to be on Crimewatch, I'm going to go to prison.

What am I going to tell my mum?!

Is that it?

Yes. Please don't grass me up, Martha.

I am NOT a snitch! But you should come clean.

Just take it back and pay for it.

I'm sure it'll be fine if you explain the mistake.

Will you come with me? Pleeease.

OK, but only as your legal representative.

Checkmate.

Hello. Er, my associate would like to pay for this tie, please.

-Why?

-Why?

Yes. She has the tie, so presumably she's paid for it.

Well. Ah. Good point.

What happened was I lost my tie and I needed a new one,

so Matt told me to come here.

Matt's like my friend. Well, not my friend because I like him.

A bit, but... HER VOICE DISTANCES

'Thanks for grassing me up, Martha!'

'You're a bitter snitch.'

And the prize for Biggest Grass goes to...Martha Fitzgerald!

CROWD BOOS

Who threw that?!

It was her!

BOOING

What happened was...is that he gave me a tie

and then he found me a tie, but then he told me not to...

Pay for it. Like normal.

Nobody did anything wrong.

This tie's such good quality we just thought,

"Why not come back and pay for it again?"

-Again?

-Well, yeah, look at this stitching.

Beautiful.

Paying once for a tie this good feels like robbery.

So, please can we pay for it again?

No.

Right. Oh, well.

-Um, come on, Lily.

-But...

No. I am not a snitch. See? No snitching!

You're just going to have to live with the guilt!

-Lily!

-I didn't do it!

-Concentrate.

Oh. Yes, sorry.

Are you all right?

No. I accidentally just stole a tie.

Oh.

Why didn't you give it back?

Because then I'd have to admit I stole it

and that a boy made me do it.

Not if you snuck it back without anyone knowing.

How would I do that?

Two words.

Unauthorised entry.

Our target is the box of ties,

which is locked in the student reception stock cupboard.

Here. The cupboard is guarded by Mrs Rennison.

We'll need to get her out of the way.

Martha, that's down to you and Ollie.

"Oh, no! Help me!"

-Sorry, erm, which one am I?

-You're the boot.

I want to be the chess piece. Why can't Ollie be the boot?

Because Ollie's the chess piece.

Look. "I love you, Martha."

See? That's definitely him.

"Ollie, why did you have to leave me?"

Sorry, can we go through the rest of the plan?

OK, while Mrs Rennison's distracted,

me and Lily sneak into the reception with the tie.

But there we run into a problem.

The stock cupboard is locked with a fingerprint recognition system.

Only members of staff have access.

So how are we going to get in?

We are going to need a teacher's thumb.

Any questions?

Yeah, just one.

Erm, how are we going to get a teacher's thumb?

Hi, Mrs Griggs. We were wondering...

-Can you stick your hand in this tub?

-Why?

Jas wants to make a model of your hand.

For my collection.

-She has a hand collection.

-It's a thing I do.

What a great idea!

I'd love you to have my model hand.

You know what would be better? A foot.

No, a hand would definitely be better, right, Jas?

I dunno. A foot's pretty amazing.

Exactly!

But you definitely want her hand, remember? For the thumb?

-Where do I put it?

-In here.

How long do I leave it in there?

About five minutes.

I'm going to have to put back that staff meeting.

I'm never going to put this down.

Can we open a finger print lock with plaster cast toes?

Of course you can't, that was a complete waste of time.

Don't listen to her, Footsie, she's just jealous

because she's not a headmistress' foot.

So, what do we do now?

What's that, Footsie?

She says we can get her thumbprint another way.

Mrs Griggs, would you have a look at this school newsletter for me?

I'm having my lunch, Martha.

Yes, but it's very important.

Some of the punctuation is a disgrace.

Look, that's a great fingerprint.

-Where?

-There.

Now you've just put your fingerprint on the top of it!

Oh, yeah. Well, there's bound to be plenty more.

Now you're putting your prints over everything!

-Give it here.

-Now it's got yours on too!

-Which one?

I don't know!

Sorry, Miss. You dropped your glass.

Good job we were crawling by so we could, erm, catch it.

-Oh, sorry.

-Ow!

Um, for evidence.

In case of an injury claim. Bye!

OK, we've got a photo of her thumb. That might just do it.

Initiate phase two.

Right.

I've set up a fake e-mail account for Mrs Griggs,

but it won't pass more than a cursory inspection of the header.

-Do you think Mrs Rennison inspects her e-mail headers?

-I know I do.

Me too. Fingers crossed.

"Dear Mrs Rennison. Hearty salutations!

"Please attend my office at your earliest convenience."

"Hearty salutations." Urgh.

OK. We're in.

Let's go.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

This is probably the worst thing I've ever done.

Didn't you get told off for running in the corridors?

That was Lily! I never run in the corridors.

I can't believe you think I'd just break the rules like that.

You just got me to forge an e-mail from the headmistress!

This is different.

Running in the corridors, that's just anarchy.

This is for the greater good. It's organised.

We have a plan.

So what happens when Mrs Rennison gets to the head's office

and discovers that Mrs Griggs didn't really want to see her?

I don't know. I guess she just goes back to reception and...

-BOTH:

-Catches Lily and Jas!

JAS SCREAMS

Come on!

DEVICE BUZZES

Oh, it's a photo of Matt!

And another. How did these got on here?

Matt. Matt.

That's a nice one of Matt.

I don't know what that is.

Oh, it's the thumb!

It wasn't locked.

(There she is!)

This is such an obvious flaw. Why didn't you mention it before?

It's your plan.

No, it isn't. It's Jas'.

Wait, we're doing Jas' plan?!

I would never have agreed to do Jas' plan!

Erm, Mrs Rennison.

Erm, fancy seeing you here!

I haven't seen you since... When was it?

-Break.

-Yeah, break.

-I'm rubbish at break.

-How can you be rubbish at break?

I don't know, but I am.

-Right.

-Erm, wait!

Ollie, wasn't there something you wanted to say to Mrs Rennison?

-Not really. Argh, my rib!

-He's hurt his rib.

So...?

Yes, Martha, what do I want Mrs Rennison to do about it?

Well, you want her to wait here with you while I go get the nurse.

Oh, yes, that's what I want(!)

My, I really am a big baby, aren't I?

He's very sensitive.

Oh! What's going on here?

-Here!

-Thank goodness.

Look, school logo socks.

Who'd wear these?

Who knows?

Come on, come on!

NEARBY CHATTER

Lily?

Um, you wanted to see me, Mrs Griggs?

Did I? I don't remember wanting to see you.

-Did I say what it was about?

-No.

Hmm, sounds like me. SHE LAUGHS

Maybe I wrote it down on my to-do list. Er...

Ah, here we are.

Hmm, no, this just says, "Go to school," and, "Be in charge."

I think I can tick those off.

Maybe you should go into your office and discuss this further.

I must get back to reception. Sorry to have bothered you.

Erm, aaanyway, erm...

It's a busy lunch break, lots to do, can't stand around all day.

Me and Ollie have got to go and throw caps around the playground.

-What?

-Come on!

"Call Mother."

What are you doing down there?

Just helping out at reception.

Cool.

Me and the guys just need to pay for our football trip.

Right.

Now? Like, right now?

Come on, walk faster, she's getting away.

This is as fast as I can walk.

We'll never overtake her, it's hopeless.

No, there is a way.

What? How?

No. You can't.

You can't run, not in the corridor.

But they're my friends, Ollie, it's their only chance.

Noooooooooo!

I'm not sure I should take this.

Just give it to Mrs Rennison when she gets back, it's fine.

Just make sure you say it's from us.

Um, well, I'm not...

I'm not... I'm not...

Matt...

Matt, help me!

Thanks, Lils. See ya later.

Come on!

-Well. That went OK.

-In what way?

We put the tie back.

Yeah, but now I've stolen

hundreds of pounds.

This is worse. A lot worse.

What am I going to do?

Give it back to Matt?

Worth a try. Matt!

Matt, I can't take the money.

-Please!

-What?

I mean, it wasn't...

ALL GASP

What is going on? What's all this money?

Was that you running in the corridor, Martha Fitzgerald?

And where is your tie?

It was all his fault!

It's a mountain.

It's just a mountain.

So you got the bib then?

Yep. And you?

I have to jump around all day,

to stop me from running in the corridors.

She cheats with that punishment wheel, you know.

Why is there a clock in a bin on your desk?

Oh, it's my art project.

I call it Total Waste Of Time.

I think it really captures how I feel about art.

Ta-da! What do you think?

Do you want the truth or a lie to spare your feelings?

A lie, please.

It's really lovely.

Hey, it's wearing a tie!

I could have borrowed that instead of getting into all this trouble.

Sorry, Lily, it's not mine to lend.

I found it on the floor in the changing rooms

while you guys were doing PE.

It was right next to your bag, actually,

and the really weird thing is, it's got your name sewn into it.

What are the chances, eh?

Lily? Lily, what's wrong?

Get off! What are you doing?!

Miss! Miss! Miss!

Lily just broke her painting over Jas' head.

Miss!

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

# La-la-la-la. #