Library vs Tree So Awkward


Library vs Tree

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How long do you think this tree's been here?

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I'm not sure, but it's a mature European beech,

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so...probably about 150 years.

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Wow. So, this actual tree could have seen, like, the American Civil War?

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Yeah. If it had eyes.

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And if the American Civil War had taken place in England.

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On a school field.

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Wow, this is so amazing.

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-The beech endures...

-Like our friendship.

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No! No! No! It's "ALWAYS WILL".

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"Like our friendship always will."

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And, Jas, you put your hand on Martha's.

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Now go again! This is a film about friendship.

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Make me believe it!

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And...ACTION!

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The beech endures...

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Like our friendship always will.

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Ow!

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That's it! You're both fired!

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Now get me some fresh actors!

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And...ACTION!

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The beech endures.

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Like my love for Lily always will.

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If only she knew how my heart lifts at the sound of her name.

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Lily... Lily...

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Lily...

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Lily.

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Lily...

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Lily.

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Lily... Lily!

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LILY!

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You're dribbling cereal down your shirt.

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# Ooh-hoo-hoo

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# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

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# Ooh!

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-# So!

-So!

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-# So!

-So!

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# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

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# Ooh-ooh

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# Ah-ah, ah-ah

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# Ah-ah

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-# So!

-So!

-So!

-So!

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-# So!

-So!

-So!

-So!

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# Ooh

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# So Awkward! #

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I love this tree. I wonder how old it is.

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I don't know. Chop it down and count the rings.

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Don't be so mean!

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You're the one who wants to know how old it is!

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It doesn't mean I want to kill it!

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I don't know how old Mrs Griggs is, but I wouldn't chop off her legs.

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Good, because it doesn't work on headmistresses.

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-Hold still.

-Ow! What's that?

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-It's just a badge.

-Well, it hurts.

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I don't wear hurty things unless they're crazy funky.

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It is crazy funky. It says, "I Love Libraries." Now hold still.

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Ow! Get off!

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Guys, come on. This is supposed to be a film about friendship.

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Can you try not to impale each other for a second?

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Lily, I'm campaigning for a new library here.

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I think that's a little more important

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than friendship, don't you? Here, put this on.

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I'm NOT wearing that.

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It'll cover up the cereal on your shirt.

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Do you know what I love? Anyone?

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Ooh! Goats! LAUGHTER

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Yes! And badgers.

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But I also love big, fat cheques to spend on new school buildings.

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Like this one.

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CHILDREN GROAN

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I've also enjoyed reading your suggestions for what we might build.

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The sixth form say they'd like a new common room.

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-SIXTH FORM:

-Yes!

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The drama group have asked for a dedicated theatre.

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Jazz hands!

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And there's also been a very persistent campaign

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-for a brand-new library.

-KIDS GROAN

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I knew I should have built a scale model.

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It was a tough decision, but I'm sure that a minority of you

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will be pleased to hear that the governors have opted for...

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Library. Library. Library...

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..a brand-new library.

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YES!

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Work will begin over the summer,

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starting with the felling of the old beech on the school field.

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-What did she say?

-She said...

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It's OK. I know what she said.

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-IN DEMONIC VOICE:

-Our glorious new library will crush

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the puny tree to dust!

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DEMONIC LAUGH

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N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!

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I'm sorry, Jas. The decision's been made. They can't change it now.

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Well, try! They listened to you before. Think of the tree.

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-You think of the library.

-I am. I'm thinking of stopping it.

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Friendship. A part love, part respect,

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part support and understand...

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SHE SQUEALS

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Sorry, Matt.

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It's OK. Do you want me to do that for you?

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-No-one cares about a stupid little library.

-What was that for?

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-A library is just a building.

-A tree is just a lump of wood.

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No, it isn't! It's a majestic living thing!

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-Not for much longer...

-You monster!

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Well, don't think you're invited to my library victory party!

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There's a library victory party?

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Of course. Everybody's coming.

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I can't believe no-one came.

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Shh!

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Well, it's not much of a party, is it?

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Oh, come on. We've got lots of books about parties.

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Let your hair down...

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VUVUZELA BLARES

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VUVUZELA BLARES

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VUVUZELA BLARES

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No more libraries! Save the tree!

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No more libraries! Save the tree!

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LONG BLARE

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Stop this noise! We're trying to read about having a party!

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VUVUZELA TOOTS

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Don't threaten me with a vuvuzela!

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VUVUZELA BLARES

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-Right. Give that here!

-Not until you call off the library apocalypse.

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What's all this parping?

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Whoops...

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A whole lunch break as allotment scarecrows.

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This is all your fault.

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-It's all your fault!

-All YOUR fault!

-All YOUR fault!

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-Your fault.

-Your fault!

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OK, er, let's leave it there for today.

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SHE GASPS

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Are you OK?

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Er, yeah...

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Erm...thanks for helping with this.

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No worries. I'll do some more if you lend me a camera.

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-You can have anything you want...

-Thanks!

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I could really get into this film-making.

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-'You think of the library.'

-'I am.'

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I'm starting to wish I'd never entered this competition.

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All I've managed to do is film my friends hating each other.

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You'll be fine. If anyone can bring those two back together, it's you.

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You think?

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Actually, you could be on to something...

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Conflict Resolution! This is the answer. It's all in here!

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We can make a film about mending a friendship. Matt, you're a genius!

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Thanks, Lils.

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Here we go... Step one of resolving conflict -

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get the parties talking.

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Simples!

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Why have you brought him?

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My client's exercising her right to remain silent.

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I will be acting as her LEGAL representative.

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TOY SQUEAKS

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How come I don't have a representative?

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-What am I supposed to do?

-I don't know. Just copy him...

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My client has put together a list of her...

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demands.

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"Jas to stop being random. Jas to abandon library protest.

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"Vuvuzela to be snapped"?!

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-We aren't accepting this!

-Huh. Then there's nothing more to say.

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Wait a minute! My representative hasn't done anything yet.

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-Do something!

-What?

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I don't know. Challenge them to a duel.

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He challenges you to a duel!

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Go on, duel them!

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Well, that didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped...

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Take this. And that. And a little bit of this. Hah!

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TOY SQUEAKS

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..but at least they're talking.

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Take this, you fiend.

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Well, they're doing something.

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Um...I don't really know what that is.

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But things can only get better!

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-ALL CHANT:

-Save the tree! Save the tree!

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We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

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Save the tree! Save the tree!

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We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

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Save the tree! Save the tree!

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We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

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You're wasting your time! Popular uprisings NEVER achieve anything.

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-What about the American Civil War?

-And votes for women?

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And bringing back Windows 7?

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OK. Fine. But two can play at that game...

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Pulp the tree! Pulp the tree! Make books for the lib-ra-ry!

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Come on, everyone, join in!

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VUVUZELA BLARES

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No vuvuzelas! I will not be parped!

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THEY ALL BLOW VUVUZELAS

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This might be harder than I thought.

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Time to move to stage two - bring in the power-brokers.

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Here we go. Now, is everyone all right for food?

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Yeah, that's great.

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Sensational!

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SHE CHUCKLES

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I just wanted to say thank you both for coming.

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-I hope you don't mind...

-No. No, it's fine.

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-And Mrs Fitzgerald?

-'Tell them we'll see them in court.

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-'Sorry, what?'

-I was just saying, thanks for coming. I...

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'Yes, yes. Lovely to be here. You've got three minutes. Shoot.'

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Oh, um... OK, well, Jas and Martha have fallen out.

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-'With whom? Be specific.'

-With each other.

-Oh, is this about the tree?

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-'What tree? Who's that?'

-Oh, it's Jas's dad.

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Hello, Saskia. Sorry. Bit jammy.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Yeah, Jas's a bit upset. Martha's been going round trying

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to get her favourite tree chopped down.

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I'm sure it's just one of those crazy Martha schemes

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-that's got out of hand.

-'Is it?'

-Yeah.

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Maybe you can have a word with her? Make her see sense?

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-'Mr Salford.'

-Mm.

-'Keith. If my daughter has been "going around"

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'campaigning to remove a plant, I'm sure she has a good reason.'

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It's for the new library.

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'Ah! The one she's been campaigning for for months?

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'Well, that explains it, doesn't it? Good for her.'

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-Bad for her. What about the tree?

-'What about the library?'

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-Who cares about a library?

-'Well, Martha does and therefore I do.

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'And I'm going to do everything I can to support her.'

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Well, I'm going to do everything I can to help Jas protect that tree.

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'I'm sure that won't worry us much!'

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HE MIMICS HER

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-'I don't talk like that!'

-Yes, you do!

-'No, I...'

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Ow!

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I can't believe that went so badly!

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They were supposed to be solving this conflict, not escalating it.

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Why is there a hockey girl on my screen?

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Oh, I was just doing some extra filming.

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Just capturing stuff that looks...nice.

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You mean that I look nice?

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Ugh! Is that a dog poo?!

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No, I think it's just a...

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Oh, no, I think it is. Cut it out! Cut it out!

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-Sorry, you were saying?

-Oh, nothing. Nothing.

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Let's stay positive. Maybe their parents haven't fallen out

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as badly as we think.

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Hi, I'm Jas. This is my dad and this is a film about three words -

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Save. The. Tree.

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And... Beat. Saskia. Fitzgerald.

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Erm, actually, it's still a film about friendship.

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The friendship between a girl and a tree.

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And beating Saskia Fitzgerald.

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The plan is - Dad's going to live up there, in a treehouse.

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Then they can't cut it down.

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And no more little leaves will have to die.

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My dad's brilliant at protesting - and building things.

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We're going to stop this library, aren't we? Yes, we are!

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OW!

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'OK, what's your first move when you're facing

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'an organised public protest?'

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-Control the news agenda.

-'Good girl. And how are you going to do that?'

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-The school newspaper?

-'Honestly, Martha, is that the best you can do?

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'Come on, think bigger. Why is there a person filming us?'

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Oh, that's just Matt. He's helping Lily make a film.

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-'About your fight for education.'

-Not really. It's about...

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'About stopping this tree protest! Oh, good.

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'That will get the public on our side. Well done, Martha.

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'Did I mention, I've got a contact on the local news?

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'Let's show these Salfords how to play hardball.'

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"Huge Nut Found In Tree." Why would the news say something like that?

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Maybe they're talking about a different huge nut?

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"Accident-prone, tree-bound fruitcake Keith Salford

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"plans to tear down local school library."

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Hm. It does sound like you...

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This is Saskia Fitzgerald, isn't it?

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I knew she'd try something like this.

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We've got to come up with a response -

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something to make her back down.

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But what could it be?

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Hmmm...

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Hmmm...

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Hmmmmmmmmmm...

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Hmmmmmmmmmm...

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A-ha!

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'This is unbelievable.

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-'Unbelievable!'

-And he's released squirrels into the attic.

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-'What?!'

-He says they're going to need somewhere else to live

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if we chop down the tree.

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And he's signed it with a picture of a huge nut.

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'That's it! Martin, cancel my meeting with the Ambassador.

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'I'm coming home!'

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It's hard to sleep up a tree.

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Really hard.

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Especially when you're covered in squirrel bites.

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But we'll get through this. Won't we, old friend?

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Just me and you...

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We don't need much. Just water and cold pizza.

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And a bucket, in case I need to...

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..you know.

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And of course...

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..our secret weapon.

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'Squirty, squirty!'

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You don't think this is all getting a bit out of hand, do you?

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Lils... SHE GASPS

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Of course, it is. Of course it's getting out of hand.

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This movie's going to be awesome!

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I'm sorry, Jas. My mum says I have to stay away from you.

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Yeah. And my dad says I have to pretend you don't exist.

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That means I'm talking to no-one! This is weird.

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I didn't want things to go this far.

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I begged her not to write the article.

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And I told my dad to leave those squirrels alone.

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If they poop in our water tank,

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Mother says she's going to make your dad drink it.

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This is all my fault. I just wanted you to be friends

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for my stupid film.

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It's OK, Lily. We know you meant well.

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You only ruined our lives by accident.

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And bad planning.

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Can we make up? Ple-e-e-ease?

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Of course we can.

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Martha... Is that your mum?

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CLASS CHATTERS EXCITEDLY

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-Get down here right now!

-You can't make me!

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I can cut this tree down! What do you say to that?

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What the...?! Oh, you...! Stop that!

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What is that? Pizza? Oh, fine!

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Fine, fine, fine!

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If that's the way you want it...

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-Stop that!

-Apologise to Martha!

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YOU apologise to Jas!

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I'm warning you...

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No-o-o-o-o-o-o!

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Right!

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Saskia, please! Please!

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It's only held together with string...

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-I knew this would be awesome!

-Stop that!

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Keith, you're an idiot!

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-This is it. This is the way to do it.

-Do not pull that rope!

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-Stop pulling that rope!

-You deserve this, you stupid...

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No!

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Argh!

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-ALL:

-Ooh!

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Awesome!

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-Mum?

-Dad?

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-Someone should get Mrs Griggs...

-You're right. I'll get Mrs Griggs

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and get this WILD MAN ejected from school property!

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Agh!

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No. I'LL get Mrs Griggs and get this mad axe woman arrested!

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-No, I'll get Mrs Griggs...

-No, I'll get Mrs Griggs!

-I'll get Mrs Griggs.

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-I'll get Mrs Griggs.

-I'LL GET HER!

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Do you have a favourite subject, Amelia?

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Oh, that's just the Wheel of Punishment. Ignore that.

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Nothing to worry about.

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-No, no...

-Mrs Griggs!

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I do hope you'll like our school.

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I like to think of us as a happy community

0:22:030:22:06

of hard-working students, backed up by committed parents...

0:22:060:22:09

-Get out of...

-Mrs Griggs, this woman has...

0:22:090:22:14

Are you aware that this man has been living in a... Agh!

0:22:140:22:17

-(Now, look what you've done!)

-(What YOU'VE done!)

-You did it!

-You did!

0:22:220:22:25

This is all your fault!

0:22:410:22:43

-Your fault...

-Your fault...

0:22:430:22:46

-Was not.

-So was...

0:22:460:22:49

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-WAS!

0:22:490:22:53

-This is it, isn't it?

-There's no way back from this.

0:22:590:23:02

It's the end of our friendship. Your parents will keep you apart.

0:23:020:23:05

It's like Romeo and Juliet!

0:23:050:23:07

But in modern times.

0:23:090:23:11

With girls.

0:23:110:23:13

And less stabby.

0:23:130:23:15

No. I'm not having it!

0:23:150:23:17

I'm not being compared to some stupid Shakespearian cry-baby.

0:23:170:23:20

-We're better than that.

-Really? We're better than Shakespeare?

0:23:200:23:24

-Yes!

-You sure?

0:23:240:23:27

Yes! And we're going to find a way out of this.

0:23:270:23:30

We're going to stop our parents hating each other.

0:23:300:23:32

Yes! Using conflict resolution!

0:23:320:23:35

BOTH: No!

0:23:350:23:36

This time we need a strategy that's actually going to work.

0:23:360:23:39

Good news - we might get the tree condemned.

0:23:480:23:51

It's always useful to have a tree surgeon who owes you a favour.

0:23:510:23:53

-Remember that, Martha.

-Thank you, Mother. I'll add it to my file.

0:23:530:23:57

-What have you got there?

-Oh, it's just the film Lily's been making.

0:23:570:24:00

-Would you like to have a look?

-Mm.

0:24:000:24:02

-Blood On Your Hands?

-Mm.

0:24:090:24:12

I thought trees had sap...

0:24:120:24:14

You're right! SAP On Your Hands.

0:24:140:24:18

Aw! That was my last tin of paint!

0:24:180:24:20

Never mind. Have a look at this.

0:24:200:24:23

'They were the best of friends...

0:24:260:24:28

'Full of joy. Full of song.'

0:24:280:24:31

'Make books for the lib-ra-ry!'

0:24:310:24:34

'Full of laughter.

0:24:360:24:38

'Nothing could prepare them for the horror they would face...

0:24:380:24:41

'..when parents go bad...'

0:24:420:24:44

HE ROARS

0:24:470:24:48

'Man ejected...'

0:24:500:24:51

SOUND DISTORTS

0:24:510:24:53

'Arrested! I'll get Mrs Griggs...

0:24:530:24:56

'I'll get Mrs Griggs... I'll get Mrs Griggs...'

0:24:560:24:59

SNARLING ON VIDEO

0:24:590:25:01

'I'll get Mrs Griggs...'

0:25:040:25:06

-So, what did he think of it?

-I don't know.

0:25:150:25:18

He watched most of it from behind a cushion.

0:25:180:25:21

Turns out there's nothing grown-ups fear more than embarrassment.

0:25:210:25:24

Hey, Martha! Hey, Mrs F!

0:25:290:25:31

Girls...

0:25:310:25:32

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:25:340:25:36

Lovely day we're having.

0:25:370:25:39

Although they do say it might rain later.

0:25:400:25:43

Yes, there's an area of low pressure over the...

0:25:450:25:48

Atlantic.

0:25:480:25:51

I do hope I didn't cause any...

0:25:510:25:52

Jas!

0:25:520:25:54

You...

0:25:550:25:57

You forgot your lunch.

0:25:570:25:59

-I heard it might rain later...

-Yes!

0:26:020:26:06

There's an area of low pressure over the, erm...

0:26:060:26:10

over the, er...

0:26:100:26:11

-Got to go.

-Yes, must dash.

0:26:110:26:13

Good morning!

0:26:150:26:17

Yes. Weather! Rain later!

0:26:170:26:20

Got to go!

0:26:200:26:22

There's still one problem, though.

0:26:290:26:31

Library or tree?

0:26:310:26:33

I'm sure you're all aware of the disruption

0:26:380:26:41

the proposed new library has caused.

0:26:410:26:44

So, I was very pleased to receive this excellent late submission

0:26:440:26:47

by Matthew Furnish.

0:26:470:26:49

Quite the Spielberg, aren't we, Mr Furnish?

0:27:090:27:12

In fact, the film was SO good that the governors have changed

0:27:120:27:15

their decision,

0:27:150:27:16

and we'll be getting a brand-new sports hall instead!

0:27:160:27:19

Whoo-hoo!

0:27:190:27:21

Building work will begin over the summer,

0:27:210:27:24

-starting with the demolition of the old beech...

-The tree?!

0:27:240:27:28

Sports hall?!

0:27:290:27:31

BOTH: No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

0:27:330:27:36

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

0:27:400:27:42

# Oooh-ooh. #

0:27:440:27:46

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