Library vs Tree So Awkward

How long do you think this tree's been here?

I'm not sure, but it's a mature European beech,

so...probably about 150 years.

Wow. So, this actual tree could have seen, like, the American Civil War?

Yeah. If it had eyes.

And if the American Civil War had taken place in England.

On a school field.

Wow, this is so amazing.

-The beech endures...

-Like our friendship.

No! No! No! It's "ALWAYS WILL".

"Like our friendship always will."

And, Jas, you put your hand on Martha's.

Now go again! This is a film about friendship.

Make me believe it!

And...ACTION!

The beech endures...

Like our friendship always will.

Ow!

That's it! You're both fired!

Now get me some fresh actors!

And...ACTION!

The beech endures.

Like my love for Lily always will.

If only she knew how my heart lifts at the sound of her name.

Lily... Lily...

Lily...

Lily.

Lily...

Lily.

Lily... Lily!

LILY!

You're dribbling cereal down your shirt.

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

# Ooh!

-# So!

-So!

-# So!

-So!

# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

# Ooh-ooh

# Ah-ah, ah-ah

# Ah-ah

-# So!

-So!

-So!

-So!

-# So!

-So!

-So!

-So!

# Ooh

# So Awkward! #

I love this tree. I wonder how old it is.

I don't know. Chop it down and count the rings.

Don't be so mean!

You're the one who wants to know how old it is!

It doesn't mean I want to kill it!

I don't know how old Mrs Griggs is, but I wouldn't chop off her legs.

Good, because it doesn't work on headmistresses.

-Hold still.

-Ow! What's that?

-It's just a badge.

-Well, it hurts.

I don't wear hurty things unless they're crazy funky.

It is crazy funky. It says, "I Love Libraries." Now hold still.

Ow! Get off!

Guys, come on. This is supposed to be a film about friendship.

Can you try not to impale each other for a second?

Lily, I'm campaigning for a new library here.

I think that's a little more important

than friendship, don't you? Here, put this on.

I'm NOT wearing that.

It'll cover up the cereal on your shirt.

Do you know what I love? Anyone?

Ooh! Goats! LAUGHTER

Yes! And badgers.

But I also love big, fat cheques to spend on new school buildings.

Like this one.

CHILDREN GROAN

I've also enjoyed reading your suggestions for what we might build.

The sixth form say they'd like a new common room.

-SIXTH FORM:

-Yes!

The drama group have asked for a dedicated theatre.

Jazz hands!

And there's also been a very persistent campaign

-for a brand-new library.

-KIDS GROAN

I knew I should have built a scale model.

It was a tough decision, but I'm sure that a minority of you

will be pleased to hear that the governors have opted for...

Library. Library. Library...

..a brand-new library.

YES!

Work will begin over the summer,

starting with the felling of the old beech on the school field.

-What did she say?

-She said...

It's OK. I know what she said.

-IN DEMONIC VOICE:

-Our glorious new library will crush

the puny tree to dust!

DEMONIC LAUGH

N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!

I'm sorry, Jas. The decision's been made. They can't change it now.

Well, try! They listened to you before. Think of the tree.

-You think of the library.

-I am. I'm thinking of stopping it.

Friendship. A part love, part respect,

part support and understand...

SHE SQUEALS

Sorry, Matt.

It's OK. Do you want me to do that for you?

-No-one cares about a stupid little library.

-What was that for?

-A library is just a building.

-A tree is just a lump of wood.

No, it isn't! It's a majestic living thing!

-Not for much longer...

-You monster!

Well, don't think you're invited to my library victory party!

There's a library victory party?

Of course. Everybody's coming.

I can't believe no-one came.

Shh!

Well, it's not much of a party, is it?

Oh, come on. We've got lots of books about parties.

Let your hair down...

VUVUZELA BLARES

VUVUZELA BLARES

VUVUZELA BLARES

No more libraries! Save the tree!

No more libraries! Save the tree!

LONG BLARE

Stop this noise! We're trying to read about having a party!

VUVUZELA TOOTS

Don't threaten me with a vuvuzela!

VUVUZELA BLARES

-Right. Give that here!

-Not until you call off the library apocalypse.

What's all this parping?

Whoops...

A whole lunch break as allotment scarecrows.

This is all your fault.

-It's all your fault!

-All YOUR fault!

-All YOUR fault!

-Your fault.

-Your fault!

OK, er, let's leave it there for today.

SHE GASPS

Are you OK?

Er, yeah...

Erm...thanks for helping with this.

No worries. I'll do some more if you lend me a camera.

-You can have anything you want...

-Thanks!

I could really get into this film-making.

-'You think of the library.'

-'I am.'

I'm starting to wish I'd never entered this competition.

All I've managed to do is film my friends hating each other.

You'll be fine. If anyone can bring those two back together, it's you.

You think?

Actually, you could be on to something...

Conflict Resolution! This is the answer. It's all in here!

We can make a film about mending a friendship. Matt, you're a genius!

Thanks, Lils.

Here we go... Step one of resolving conflict -

get the parties talking.

Simples!

Why have you brought him?

My client's exercising her right to remain silent.

I will be acting as her LEGAL representative.

TOY SQUEAKS

How come I don't have a representative?

-What am I supposed to do?

-I don't know. Just copy him...

My client has put together a list of her...

demands.

"Jas to stop being random. Jas to abandon library protest.

"Vuvuzela to be snapped"?!

-We aren't accepting this!

-Huh. Then there's nothing more to say.

Wait a minute! My representative hasn't done anything yet.

-Do something!

-What?

I don't know. Challenge them to a duel.

He challenges you to a duel!

Go on, duel them!

Well, that didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped...

Take this. And that. And a little bit of this. Hah!

TOY SQUEAKS

..but at least they're talking.

Take this, you fiend.

Well, they're doing something.

Um...I don't really know what that is.

But things can only get better!

-ALL CHANT:

-Save the tree! Save the tree!

We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

Save the tree! Save the tree!

We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

Save the tree! Save the tree!

We don't need no lib-ra-ry!

You're wasting your time! Popular uprisings NEVER achieve anything.

-What about the American Civil War?

-And votes for women?

And bringing back Windows 7?

OK. Fine. But two can play at that game...

Pulp the tree! Pulp the tree! Make books for the lib-ra-ry!

Come on, everyone, join in!

VUVUZELA BLARES

No vuvuzelas! I will not be parped!

THEY ALL BLOW VUVUZELAS

This might be harder than I thought.

Time to move to stage two - bring in the power-brokers.

Here we go. Now, is everyone all right for food?

Yeah, that's great.

Sensational!

SHE CHUCKLES

I just wanted to say thank you both for coming.

-I hope you don't mind...

-No. No, it's fine.

-And Mrs Fitzgerald?

-'Tell them we'll see them in court.

-'Sorry, what?'

-I was just saying, thanks for coming. I...

'Yes, yes. Lovely to be here. You've got three minutes. Shoot.'

Oh, um... OK, well, Jas and Martha have fallen out.

-'With whom? Be specific.'

-With each other.

-Oh, is this about the tree?

-'What tree? Who's that?'

-Oh, it's Jas's dad.

Hello, Saskia. Sorry. Bit jammy.

HE CHUCKLES

Yeah, Jas's a bit upset. Martha's been going round trying

to get her favourite tree chopped down.

I'm sure it's just one of those crazy Martha schemes

-that's got out of hand.

-'Is it?'

-Yeah.

Maybe you can have a word with her? Make her see sense?

-'Mr Salford.'

-Mm.

-'Keith. If my daughter has been "going around"

'campaigning to remove a plant, I'm sure she has a good reason.'

It's for the new library.

'Ah! The one she's been campaigning for for months?

'Well, that explains it, doesn't it? Good for her.'

-Bad for her. What about the tree?

-'What about the library?'

-Who cares about a library?

-'Well, Martha does and therefore I do.

'And I'm going to do everything I can to support her.'

Well, I'm going to do everything I can to help Jas protect that tree.

'I'm sure that won't worry us much!'

HE MIMICS HER

-'I don't talk like that!'

-Yes, you do!

-'No, I...'

Ow!

I can't believe that went so badly!

They were supposed to be solving this conflict, not escalating it.

Why is there a hockey girl on my screen?

Oh, I was just doing some extra filming.

Just capturing stuff that looks...nice.

You mean that I look nice?

Ugh! Is that a dog poo?!

No, I think it's just a...

Oh, no, I think it is. Cut it out! Cut it out!

-Sorry, you were saying?

-Oh, nothing. Nothing.

Let's stay positive. Maybe their parents haven't fallen out

as badly as we think.

Hi, I'm Jas. This is my dad and this is a film about three words -

Save. The. Tree.

And... Beat. Saskia. Fitzgerald.

Erm, actually, it's still a film about friendship.

The friendship between a girl and a tree.

And beating Saskia Fitzgerald.

The plan is - Dad's going to live up there, in a treehouse.

Then they can't cut it down.

And no more little leaves will have to die.

My dad's brilliant at protesting - and building things.

We're going to stop this library, aren't we? Yes, we are!

OW!

'OK, what's your first move when you're facing

'an organised public protest?'

-Control the news agenda.

-'Good girl. And how are you going to do that?'

-The school newspaper?

-'Honestly, Martha, is that the best you can do?

'Come on, think bigger. Why is there a person filming us?'

Oh, that's just Matt. He's helping Lily make a film.

-'About your fight for education.'

-Not really. It's about...

'About stopping this tree protest! Oh, good.

'That will get the public on our side. Well done, Martha.

'Did I mention, I've got a contact on the local news?

'Let's show these Salfords how to play hardball.'

"Huge Nut Found In Tree." Why would the news say something like that?

Maybe they're talking about a different huge nut?

"Accident-prone, tree-bound fruitcake Keith Salford

"plans to tear down local school library."

Hm. It does sound like you...

This is Saskia Fitzgerald, isn't it?

I knew she'd try something like this.

We've got to come up with a response -

something to make her back down.

But what could it be?

Hmmm...

Hmmm...

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

A-ha!

'This is unbelievable.

-'Unbelievable!'

-And he's released squirrels into the attic.

-'What?!'

-He says they're going to need somewhere else to live

if we chop down the tree.

And he's signed it with a picture of a huge nut.

'That's it! Martin, cancel my meeting with the Ambassador.

'I'm coming home!'

It's hard to sleep up a tree.

Really hard.

Especially when you're covered in squirrel bites.

But we'll get through this. Won't we, old friend?

Just me and you...

We don't need much. Just water and cold pizza.

And a bucket, in case I need to...

..you know.

And of course...

..our secret weapon.

'Squirty, squirty!'

You don't think this is all getting a bit out of hand, do you?

Lils... SHE GASPS

Of course, it is. Of course it's getting out of hand.

This movie's going to be awesome!

I'm sorry, Jas. My mum says I have to stay away from you.

Yeah. And my dad says I have to pretend you don't exist.

That means I'm talking to no-one! This is weird.

I didn't want things to go this far.

I begged her not to write the article.

And I told my dad to leave those squirrels alone.

If they poop in our water tank,

Mother says she's going to make your dad drink it.

This is all my fault. I just wanted you to be friends

for my stupid film.

It's OK, Lily. We know you meant well.

You only ruined our lives by accident.

And bad planning.

Can we make up? Ple-e-e-ease?

Of course we can.

Martha... Is that your mum?

CLASS CHATTERS EXCITEDLY

-Get down here right now!

-You can't make me!

I can cut this tree down! What do you say to that?

What the...?! Oh, you...! Stop that!

What is that? Pizza? Oh, fine!

Fine, fine, fine!

If that's the way you want it...

-Stop that!

-Apologise to Martha!

YOU apologise to Jas!

I'm warning you...

No-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Right!

Saskia, please! Please!

It's only held together with string...

-I knew this would be awesome!

-Stop that!

Keith, you're an idiot!

-This is it. This is the way to do it.

-Do not pull that rope!

-Stop pulling that rope!

-You deserve this, you stupid...

No!

Argh!

-ALL:

-Ooh!

Awesome!

-Mum?

-Dad?

-Someone should get Mrs Griggs...

-You're right. I'll get Mrs Griggs

and get this WILD MAN ejected from school property!

Agh!

No. I'LL get Mrs Griggs and get this mad axe woman arrested!

-No, I'll get Mrs Griggs...

-No, I'll get Mrs Griggs!

-I'll get Mrs Griggs.

-I'll get Mrs Griggs.

-I'LL GET HER!

Do you have a favourite subject, Amelia?

Oh, that's just the Wheel of Punishment. Ignore that.

Nothing to worry about.

-No, no...

-Mrs Griggs!

I do hope you'll like our school.

I like to think of us as a happy community

of hard-working students, backed up by committed parents...

-Get out of...

-Mrs Griggs, this woman has...

Are you aware that this man has been living in a... Agh!

-(Now, look what you've done!)

-(What YOU'VE done!)

-You did it!

-You did!

This is all your fault!

-Your fault...

-Your fault...

-Was not.

-So was...

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-Was.

-Not.

-WAS!

-This is it, isn't it?

-There's no way back from this.

It's the end of our friendship. Your parents will keep you apart.

It's like Romeo and Juliet!

But in modern times.

With girls.

And less stabby.

No. I'm not having it!

I'm not being compared to some stupid Shakespearian cry-baby.

-We're better than that.

-Really? We're better than Shakespeare?

-Yes!

-You sure?

Yes! And we're going to find a way out of this.

We're going to stop our parents hating each other.

Yes! Using conflict resolution!

BOTH: No!

This time we need a strategy that's actually going to work.

Good news - we might get the tree condemned.

It's always useful to have a tree surgeon who owes you a favour.

-Remember that, Martha.

-Thank you, Mother. I'll add it to my file.

-What have you got there?

-Oh, it's just the film Lily's been making.

-Would you like to have a look?

-Mm.

-Blood On Your Hands?

-Mm.

I thought trees had sap...

You're right! SAP On Your Hands.

Aw! That was my last tin of paint!

Never mind. Have a look at this.

'They were the best of friends...

'Full of joy. Full of song.'

'Make books for the lib-ra-ry!'

'Full of laughter.

'Nothing could prepare them for the horror they would face...

'..when parents go bad...'

HE ROARS

'Man ejected...'

SOUND DISTORTS

'Arrested! I'll get Mrs Griggs...

'I'll get Mrs Griggs... I'll get Mrs Griggs...'

SNARLING ON VIDEO

'I'll get Mrs Griggs...'

-So, what did he think of it?

-I don't know.

He watched most of it from behind a cushion.

Turns out there's nothing grown-ups fear more than embarrassment.

Hey, Martha! Hey, Mrs F!

Girls...

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Lovely day we're having.

Although they do say it might rain later.

Yes, there's an area of low pressure over the...

Atlantic.

I do hope I didn't cause any...

Jas!

You...

You forgot your lunch.

-I heard it might rain later...

-Yes!

There's an area of low pressure over the, erm...

over the, er...

-Got to go.

-Yes, must dash.

Good morning!

Yes. Weather! Rain later!

Got to go!

There's still one problem, though.

Library or tree?

I'm sure you're all aware of the disruption

the proposed new library has caused.

So, I was very pleased to receive this excellent late submission

by Matthew Furnish.

Quite the Spielberg, aren't we, Mr Furnish?

In fact, the film was SO good that the governors have changed

their decision,

and we'll be getting a brand-new sports hall instead!

Whoo-hoo!

Building work will begin over the summer,

-starting with the demolition of the old beech...

-The tree?!

Sports hall?!

BOTH: No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

# Ooh-hoo-hoo

# Oooh-ooh. #