Space Over So Awkward

-Mum! I can't find the toothpaste!

-Top shelf, sweetheart!

"Miracle Beauty Cream".

Yeah, right.

"With one simple application you too can have white teeth,

"eyes that shine and hair of gold."

"Best before April '97."

Eww.

I don't feel any different.

Honestly, such a rip off!

Oh! So I guess it turns you into a rabbit.

Huh! It turns you into a rabbit?!

Arghhhhhhh!

# Hoo, hoo, hoo

# Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

# So, so, so, so

# So, so

# Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

# Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

# So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so

# So, so, so

# So awkward! #

-...and then I woke up.

-Your dreams are getting weirder.

-I know!

-I don't even like rabbits.

-I'd love to be a rabbit.

-I'd get up when I wanted and just eat all day.

-You do that anyway.

Unfair! Oh, that reminds me.

-What?

-Nothing.

Wow, Greta, what's that?

-Thanks!

-It's "Crazy Cherry".

I was going to go with "Hints of Pearl",

but that would have totally clashed with my eyes because they're

"Shimmering Kiss" and pinks are so last year.

-I know what you mean.

-Really? What do you think of this season's colours?

I love them all! All the seasons - winter, summer - and the months.

-We're a pretty stylish group. Right, Jas?

-Dunno. Whatever.

-Anyway, I love your glasses.

-Thanks! Do you want some?

-My mum works for the company, so it's all free anyway.

-Are you sure?

Trust me, babes. Boys love it when a girl gets a new look.

-Anyway, glasses are so hot right now, ask anyone.

-I will!

-I mean I won't, because I already know. Thank you.

-My pleash.

Ciao, babes.

Ciao! Greta's so nice, don't you think?

She's all right.

I've always liked her.

I love the way she...

The way she always...

No!

Banana?

Eminent Fellows of the Astronomy Club.

I present to you comet "Zenon Five".

3.5 billion years old and scheduled to pass within 11 million miles

of the Earth this very weekend.

OK, everyone, could we please settle down!

Look, can we just please have some quiet!

Obviously, as Club President, I don't need to tell you how

excited I am about this comet.

-I'm very excited.

-As am I. We simply can't afford to miss it.

Trust me, we won't.

In order to properly monitor the comet,

I have arranged the loan of...

-A skeleton?

-Sorry. Wrong sheet.

I have arranged the use of...

The Very Expensive School Telescope!

-That's correct. And what's more, we have it for the entire weekend!

-Wow!

But they never loan out the VEST How did you manage to persuade them?

I lent Mrs Grigs my Van De Graaff Generator...

Whoooo!!

Whoooo!!

Come in!

Haha! Your faces!

Also, I promised that I wouldn't let it out of my sight

for the entire weekend.

-Remember, we're doing this for science.

-ALL: For science!

-Oh!

-Martha, you have to come now,

because basically Matt Furnish just went off with

Greta Masters like, right in front of Lily and she's being all,

"Oh, whatever!" But she completely isn't.

Anyway, we're having an emergency conference in the girls' loos

and you have to come, like, now, seriously.

Oooh, biscuits!

Please can I have one?

Cool. Martha, five minutes, yeah?

-Whoa!

-Ohhh!

Thank you, everyone. If you'll excuse me I should probably...

Seriously, I'm completely fine. In fact, I'm really happy for them.

I hope they live together forever

and open their own coffee shop by the sea with red curtains,

and call it "Frank's" because that's the name of her grandad!

Isn't your grandad called Frank?

What's your point?!

-Maybe I need a new look?

-OK.

I know where you're going with this and my answer is yes.

Yes to what?

Yes, I will give you one of my famous makeovers.

Are you famous for your makeovers?

Duh! Obviously! That's why they're called "Jas's Famous Makeovers"!

Four words: Friday night, sleep over. I will transform you.

-Um, this Friday?

-Yes, Martha. Lily needs us.

For the last time, you don't have to.

I'm completely fine.

Oh, OK. Count me in.

Of course, me too.

So exciting!

I used to do sleep overs all the time when I was your age.

-We'd stay up all night!

-Did you?

We'd sneak boys in through the window!

They'd try and escape, but we wouldn't let them!

Sometimes we'd lock them in that cupboard for hours!

Aww...Happy times!

Now, I'll be back by ten, but I've prepared for you my speciality -

bananas mashed with beans and ketchup, just as you like it.

Heh, thanks, Mum.

Have you got anything else, just in case it's so delicious we eat it all?

Oh, you could always have my home-made curry sauce?

Goes lovely on cornflakes.

Takeaway?

Thank you.

MOBILE RINGS

-What's happened? What's gone wrong?

-Nothing's happened!

I'm just letting you know I'm on my way.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Sorry, it's just I really want this to go well.

-I know, but you really need to start trusting me.

-OK.

I am going to make you look fabulous.

-Wow, you came prepared!

-Thanks! What's in the case?

-I don't know.

Mother insisted I bring it and it won't open,

but when Mother gives you something, it's best to just smile and take it.

Here you go.

Oh, right. I see.

RADIO SPLUTTERS

"Equinox", this is "Flaming Meteor" signing in. I am in position. Over.

"Flaming Meteor",

this is "Equinox" and telescope, receiving you loud and clear. Over.

Actually, I thought we'd decided that I was "Flaming Meteor"?

Over.

We didn't. We decided I was because I had bagsies. Over.

Roger that.

I just don't think it's very scientific to claim "bagsies"

on a code name. Over.

Ollie, seriously. I need to get inside!

I'm sorry, OK. I just think "Flaming Meteor" suits me better.

-SHE SIGHS

-Can I take that as a "maybe"?

-Did your mum bake again?

-Yeah, but don't worry...

-Awesome!

-Oh... OK.

Don't tell me. Beans, banana and ketchup, right?

Maybe. I'll check with Jason.

Jason? As in your brother, Jason? He's here?

-Yeah. Why?

-No reason.

MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Pizza or Chinese? Any preferences?

I can get my leg round my neck, do you want to see?

Not really...

Erm, pizza it is then.

Every time!

Right, so like we discussed, you go to the attic

and get everything set up and I'll join you when I can, OK?

-Are you sure about this?

-No question.

Look, I'm taking this mission extremely seriously.

-JASON:

-I'll be back in half an hour, Lily!

-What are you doing?

-I'm going to get dinner and I need my coat.

-I...

-I gave it to the poor.

-What?

-Erm, no, not that. I... I'll get it.

Let ME get your coat. Here you are.

-HE SIGHS

-That's not my coat!

-Erm you're sure?

-Pretty sure. That's a vacuum cleaner.

You know what, I'll just get it delivered.

Quick, go! What?

-I need the loo.

-There's no time! Hold it in. Just go!

I bet Galileo never had to put up with this.

-Don't move!

-I'm not doing anything. I don't know anything about it.

-About what?

-Erm, make up.

-I know. But you soon will.

Ta-dah!

-LILY LAUGHS Honestly, what are you like?

-I don't know?

Like you'd be daft enough to bring face paints to a makeover party!

-Can you imagine?

-I definitely can!

So, where's the real stuff?

I don't know...

Don't know what's all the rush!

Cos we'll get back to that. I'll be right back.

'Now, I just need...'

'This is going to be the tastiest foundation ever!'

RADIO BEEPS ON

Hello? Equinox, do you read me?

When are you coming up? I need the loo.

-Well, just go!

-I CAN'T, can I?

One of us has to watch the telescope at all times.

I swore by the power of science.

-OK, I'll be up as soon as I can.

-Hurry.

I'm trying to keep my mind off it.

-Not even Polaris can hold this one off.

-I'll be up in a second.

Who are you talking to?

MARTHA LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

My hand. Hello, Mr Hand!

-"He-wo Lily!"

-You OK?

-Oh, yeah. I'm fine.

-Best party ever.

-OK, ladies!

It's seven o'clock or as I like to say, onesie time!

-Meteor? Martha? Hello?

-RADIO CRACKLES

-HE SIGHS

-Ooh...

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Martha? Is this your bag up here? It's OK. I'll bring it down.

HE MOUTHS SILENTLY

-I found your... What are you doing?

-Oh! Erm, I'm...

Just... Admiring...

-Your make-up design...

-Thanks. Here, let me show you.

I was thinking neutral shades here, bold around the eyes.

-Matt Furnish will love it.

-Is that a dog face?

Yeah, it's a beagle.

-I don't want to look like a beagle.

-I know that!

Matt will not go out with me if I look like a beagle.

Dog faces are all I can draw, OK?

-Martha, what are you doing now?

-Oh, nothing! Erm...

A dance. A shoulder throw dance?

Oh, you know, like, erm...

-Meteor! Do you read me? Hello?

-RADIO CRACKLES

Martha? Please!

HE SIGHS

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

-Weird...

-OLLIE BREATHES HEAVILY

LOCK CLICKS INTO PLACE

-RADIO BEEPS OLLIE:

-Martha, come in, please.

I love face packs.

This one smells of strawberries.

I remember when I was little, I used to try and eat them.

Can you believe that?

Meteor, we really have a problem.

So, you sit there for 20 minutes

and the manure absorbs into the skin.

Like with a tree.

-Right. And this is a fish pedicure, is it?

-Oh, yeah.

I mean, I couldn't get actual fish

but I'm pretty sure tadpoles are the same.

-Tadpoles?

-Eew!

Ee-e-ew!

-RADIO:

-Meteor, do you read me?

-RADIO CRACKLES

-What was that?

-I didn't hear anything.

-RADIO:

-This is Equinox. Over.

-RADIO CRACKLES

That? Was me....

SHE IMITATES RADIO STATIC Why?

I'm training to be a human beatbox.

-Since when?

-Since always!

-SHE MAKES BEATBOX SOUNDS

SHE IMITATES RADIO STATIC NOISES

# E-e-e-e... Equinox! #

DOORBELL RINGS OK... That'll be the pizza.

-RADIO CRACKLES

-Come in, Equinox. Is something wrong?

-No!

Everything's going swimmingly.

I'm about 30 seconds away from a serious accident

-and your very unscientific friend stole my telescope!

-What?

I don't understand! How did you let this happen?

Don't you even TRY and put this one on me after the evening I've had.

-Because if you think that...

-SHE SWITCHES RADIO OFF

OK, I've got it. I'll be right up.

WATER SPLASHES

-What are you doing with that?

-Erm... Just taking it.

-To the loo.

-OK.

Before you go, I just wanted to say,

I know this is isn't exactly your typical Friday night

but I really appreciate all the trouble you guys have gone to.

Both of you. So, to us! To brilliant friends.

-WITH MOUTH FULL:

-What?

You know what, if you don't slow down,

-it's going to be Alton Towers all over again.

-Here we go!

-That bus driver was fine.

-Yeah, but his shoes weren't.

-I think he saw the funny side.

-He cried for an hour! You never learn.

Right, Martha?

-Here you are!

-Finally!

-Oh, no!

-What now?

-It won't open! I think this might be the other bag!

-What other bag?

-The one my mother gave me.

-OK, OK, we just have to think for a second.

-No, we don't.

WE need to go to the bathroom because WE have been very patient.

And actually, WE'RE about to explode! OK?

Ollie? You should have said something.

-I'm ready.

-Let me see...

Hair, skin, yep, I think someone's ready for

-their very special foundation!

-Yay!

-Ta-dah!

-"Belle de Paris"?

-How did you get hold of THAT? This stuff's really expensive!

-I...

had to be creative.

-After you.

-So exciting!

-I know, right.

-THIS is going to blow EVERYONE away.

HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM

MUFFLED YELPING

What? What's happened? Where is Lily? Jas!

-Seriously. What's wrong?

-MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

I can turn my eyelid inside out.

Ow, ow, ow! Towel! Towel! Ow! Ow! Towel! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! MUFFLED YELPS

-Thanks.

-You're welcome!

-MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

-OK, erm, just breathe...

OK, in... And out...

Good... And in...

Good, now, whatever it is, just let it out.

-SHE VOMITS

-Oh... Oh!

HE GROANS

-What was he even doing in my bathroom anyway?

-It wasn't my fault.

-He was meant to stay in the attic.

-I don't get it.

-Is it so hard for us to be normal for just one night?

-I WAS being normal.

THIS is not normal. I'm probably scarred for life.

And Jason definitely is.

Oh, yes!

And bingo!

Now, listen very carefully.

Because we still have a chance to salvage tonight,

we're going to go next door and put on some lipstick, OK?

And we're all going to LOVE it and we're all going to look FABULOUS.

But most of all, it's going to be FUN! OK? Any questions?

-OUT OF BREATH:

-There are no words!

And even if there were, I would have no breath with which to say it

-because it's been taken away!

-What's he talking about?

-I think he just found the comet.

-Either that or he's seen Jason's shoes.

Come on, you have to see this!

-What are you doing? That's Martha's back.

-No, it isn't.

-It is!

-Martha! Tell him!

-It doesn't matter!

-Look, Ollie, I promised my friends I can't go.

-Yes, you can.

You shouldn't miss something if it's important to you.

Besides, you don't have any real make up anyway.

THEY GASP

Belle de Paris!

-How did you get this?

-Surprise!

# Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha!

# Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! #

Why didn't you tell us your mum had given you all this stuff?

Erm, well, I didn't want to upstage Jas.

Aw! That's so sweet!

-Good answer. You had no idea, did you?

-Not a clue.

Oh, come on!

# Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! #

I don't recognise myself.

You know what? I'm taking the clip out.

OK, I'm ready. Standby...

Ta-dah!

-VOICE ECHOES:

-Shimmering Kiss and pinks are SO last year.

-Amazing!

-Beautiful!

-Not at all creepy!

Really? Does it look OK?

-Not at all creepy!

-Beautiful!

-Amazing. Lovely.

-Thanks.

Thanks for telling me the truth.

-We should have told her the truth.

-What? And hurt her feelings? No.

-We definitely did the right thing.

-Whoa! Keep 'em where I can see 'em!

Maybe we should call her. It's not too late.

-SHE GASPS

-Yes, it is!

Morning! Look, Friday was fun

but I just felt stupid with all that stuff on my face.

You looked it!

I-I...mean... You didn't look it.

I can't change every time Matt gets a girlfriend.

-So, from now on I'm going to be mature and grown-up.

-Didn't you hear?

-I think they broke up over the weekend.

-Yes!

One-nil to Hampton!

Can I get a high five?

It's OK, Ollie. You don't have to thank me.

MUSIC: SO AWKWARD END THEME