Science Chic So Awkward


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LineFromTo

-Hey, Jas. How's...?

-Morning!

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Is that a mask of my face?

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Yeah. What do you think?

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That it's a mask of my face.

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Of course it is.

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It's Come To School As Lily Day.

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You didn't forget, did you?

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Come To School As Lily Day?

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Yeah! Lucky you actually ARE Lily.

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Otherwise you'd look really out of place.

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OK, one, this is freaking me out.

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And, two, I hardly think the whole school has come to school dressed...

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DRAMATIC CHORDS

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You two, as well? Do you know how embarrassing it is

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having everyone wearing my face?

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-IN LILY'S VOICE:

-Not as embarrassing as my mum.

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She's so embarrassing.

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But I just don't know how to tell her.

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-IN LILY'S VOICE:

-You think you've got it bad? What about me and Rob?

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I mean, I know he likes me, but does he really like me?

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SHE SCREAMS

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ALL SCREAM

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And everywhere I looked, all I could see was my face.

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Sounds absolutely horrible.

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-# Ooh-ooh-ooh

-Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh!

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# Ooh!

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# So... So... So...

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# Ooh-ooh, ooh Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh

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# Aah-aah, aah Aah-aah, aah, aah-aah

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# So... So... So... So...

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# So, oooh

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# So awkward! #

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Well?

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-Is it up?

-No, not yet.

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-Oh, what's this?

-The Great British Business Challenge.

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It's a competition open to all Business Studies students.

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They announce the task on the website

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and you get two days to complete it.

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Oh. I never knew about this.

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Well, you don't do Business. You took Interpretive Dance, remember?

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Oh, yeah!

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TINKLY MUSIC PLAYS

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That means, "Shame I didn't get to do Business Studies."

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I wonder what the task will be.

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Please be stocks and shares. Please be stocks and shares...

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Oh! Ten-second countdown!

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Or pensions! Please be pensions!

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Or investments! Yes!

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Investments... Investments...

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"Organise a fashion show"!

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-Fashion?

-This is great.

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I'll be project manager. OK, Martha?

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SHE GASPS

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SHE SQUEALS

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It's OK.

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I speak Excited Martha.

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She says, "I don't believe it. The winning project manager

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"gets to meet business legend Sir Adam Salt. He's my hero."

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"How I Dun Business by Sir Adam Salt"?

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He's your hero?

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He's so ruthless. It's brilliant how he gets rid of people.

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GRUFFLY: "You're sacked, you numpty."

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-HE LAUGHS

-That's really good!

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I want to be project manager.

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I don't want to be mean, Martha,

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but you don't exactly know much about fashion.

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What's to know? That's a shoe.

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That's a shirt. That's a...

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you know...cloth cylinder.

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-A skirt.

-Yeah, yeah, the terms are unimportant.

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You've got many great qualities.

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You're clever, you're organised.

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Great, so I'm project manager.

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-Settled.

-But, Martha...

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I said, "It's settled," you numpty!

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-HE GIGGLES

-It's like he's in the room.

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Sorry, Lily. But I've always wanted to meet Sir Adam Salt.

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And I've always wanted to put on a fashion show.

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TINKLY MUSIC PLAYS

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This means, "Now I'm glad I chose Interpretive Dance."

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Ugh!

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Wah!

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I can't believe Martha wants to be project manager!

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This is supposed to be a creative project, and I'M the creative one.

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-Are you?

-Yeah!

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Ollie's the computer-y one, Martha's the science-y one.

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I'm the mysterious one.

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-Not sure about that.

-What am I, then?

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Well, you're the...

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You're...

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About to walk into that trophy!

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CLATTERING, GASPS

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Whoops!

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Mrs Rennison must have some glue somewhere.

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-I really don't think this is a good idea.

-Ah!

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Glue.

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Ooh, mind that vase!

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Mind that picture frame!

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CLATTERING, SMASHING

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Oh, I know.

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Jas, you can't climb on that!

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LOUD CLATTERING

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Gotcha!

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-Are you OK?

-Yeah, fine.

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Slightly less fine now...

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So, obviously we need a runway.

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A catwalk?

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The thing models walk up and down on.

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-BOTH:

-Oh!

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Well, more importantly,

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we need to decide who's going to be project manager.

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Well, I think it should be me, because of my creative flair.

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Which brings me neatly to my design ideas.

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You've got design ideas already?

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Yeah. I'm always sketching new fashion ideas.

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This is a good one. It's my cloud motif.

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Clouds are so in right now.

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-I know.

-Why does it say "Rob"?

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What?

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"R-O-B".

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SHE SNORTS

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That's so weird!

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What a strange coincidence!

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So, you've designed clothes.

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I'm sure I could do that if I put my mind to it.

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Hey. How about you both present your designs to the group

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and whoever does the best one gets to be project manager?

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-Well, I don't think...

-Great idea, Jenny.

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Unless you're unable to do that, Martha?

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No. I can do it.

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How hard can it be?

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There.

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-Trousers!

-I hate to break it to you, Martha,

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but someone's already designed trousers. They're everywhere.

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Yes, you're right. OK, well, what about this?

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-Isn't that the Cranmede school uniform?

-Yes, but in red.

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SHE GROANS

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This is so hard. Lily should just lead the task.

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I'm obviously just not creative.

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I've seen your hypothesis on dark matter.

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Anyone who makes those kind of brilliant, imaginative leaps

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-has to be creative.

-You're right.

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Creativity is a key part of theoretical maths and science.

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I just have to direct it towards body...coverings.

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-You mean clothes.

-Yeah, exactly.

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Thanks, Ollie. You've just given me a fashion idea.

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You do know the sock, the shirt, the coat have all been done?

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So, what has she broken this time?

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What has she broken this time?

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This and...

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that!

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-It was an accident.

-Jas, you have to take more care.

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If you don't take care you end up with all this.

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SMASHING

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Don't worry, Mrs Rennison.

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My dad could mend the shelves.

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-What...?

-What a wonderful idea.

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And after he's done that we'll get some cats to rewire the plugs,

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and a chicken to paint the walls!

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Now that I'd like to see.

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My dad may be clumsy sometimes, but he's actually brilliant at DIY.

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-Is he now?

-I bet Mrs Griggs would let him.

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She always wants parents to get involved with the school.

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Well, thankfully, Mrs Griggs is away at a headteachers' conference,

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-so we can't ask her.

-It's OK. I've e-mailed her.

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She'll be far too busy to... PING!

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Oh! She's replied.

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"Hi, Jas. Mr Salford fixing shelves, brilliant idea.

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"Almost as good as Mrs Rennison's idea to kidnap my toy penguin.

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"Tell her Mr Salford is all yours and revenge is sweet.

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"Ha, ha, ha, ha."

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Bit weird. But, yay!

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-Right, Dad?

-Er, yeah...

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Yay.

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And now I'm going to unveil my design.

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This one I simply call "swirls".

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Why does everything have Rob on it?

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What do you mean?

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"R-O-B".

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I think you're just seeing things, Jenny.

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This is clearly just an abstract study of shape and form.

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Moving on. Martha, would you like to introduce your design?

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Oh.

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Very well.

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My design features handy pockets for test tubes.

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MURMURING

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That's not all. It's also made of hard-wearing fabric

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that can withstand a 60-degree wash.

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GIGGLING AND YAWNING

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Can we see it?

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Um...

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"The Lab-Dress.

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"All the function of a lab coat with the style of a dress."

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It's OK, Martha. Fashion design isn't for everyone.

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APPLAUSE

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They like it. They actually like it. I am creative.

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This isn't in right now, but it SO will be.

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Which means I'm project manager?

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OK, OK.

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Maybe we could use this.

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But the Lab-Dress will complement my T-shirt designs perfectly.

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Ooh... We probably won't have time to turn both of them

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into a full collection.

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But we can put Rob's name on the Lab-Dress, if you want?

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Well done, that's so good!

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MURMURS OF APPRECIATION

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-Are those your tools?

-Oh, yes.

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The right tool for the right job, I always say.

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-Professional as ever.

-Yes, I can see that.

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Good job I brought these, then.

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THUD!

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You do know what one of these is?

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Of course.

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It's a banger-inner. Now, where do I plug it in?

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"Rob"... "Rob"...

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"Rob"!

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What is wrong with me?

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Hey, Lily.

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-How's it going?

-Oh, fine.

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Although, actually, not fine.

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Martha's stolen my thing.

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-What's she stolen?

-My role as the creative one in the group.

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Oh. Shall I call the police?

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-Don't look!

-But...

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This is great.

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Do you...see anything on them?

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Yeah. Clouds.

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Mind if I borrow this?

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Oh. Take it.

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Take the lot. I'm done with designing.

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There's just something so cool about them. I can't put my finger on it.

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Wonder what it is.

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Beats me.

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Right. Shelves.

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How hard can it be?

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That's it. Backwards and forwards.

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Keep going. You're doing it, Keith!

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You're actually doing it!

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Jas was right!

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You can DIY!

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CLUNKING

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Hey, Lily.

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Jas! How did it go with Mrs Rennison?

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Really good. My dad's mending the shelves.

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Your dad? As in the clumsiest man in the world, your dad?

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Hey, he could help you build stuff for the fashion show.

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No! I mean, I'm sure he's got his hands full already.

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-How's it going?

-Really well.

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Apart from the fact that Martha got project manager

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and is designing all the clothes. It's not fair, Jas.

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I've always been the creative one.

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But the thing is Martha only wants to be project manager

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so she can meet that Sir Adam Salt guy.

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She's not really into fashion. She's just...

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POPPY MUSIC PLAYS

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That's a no.

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That's a yes.

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That's a ugh. And that's a "Seriously, what are we doing here?"

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Not done. I'm thinking white, I'm thinking test tube,

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I'm thinking chemical reactions.

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Still not done!

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It's got to say Chemistry, it's got to say Physics.

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It's got to say "I meet the required hygiene standards

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"of a research facility."

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OK, I'm done. ..Hey, Lils.

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SHE AIR KISSES

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Lunch soon? And I'm walking.

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Whoa!

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What are you two doing here?

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We're doing the challenge next year, and volunteered to help.

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It's great. Lots of work for no credit whatsoever.

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Still walking!

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-Woodworm?

-Yes.

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Luckily, I discovered it now, before it caused serious problems.

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You've sawn my desk in half!

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Obviously, I had to do that to check the extent of the problem.

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You're welcome.

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-How's it going, Dad?

-Have you seen what he's done to my desk?

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Detected some underlying problems, Jas,

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but, obviously, Mrs Rennison isn't happy

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so maybe we'd better find somebody else.

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But Mrs Griggs is relying on you.

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Listen...

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"Dearest Jas. My little conference has overrun,

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"so tell your dad to carry on with the DIY in Mrs Rennison's office.

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"Ha-ha-ha."

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She's such a happy person.

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Same time tomorrow?

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Martha sent me a text about Velcro earlier.

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I'm not sure I want to see her like this.

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Don't worry. I'm pretty sure we'll soon have the old Martha back.

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Mrs Fitzgerald won't want her daughter

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wasting her time with fashion.

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And because Martha never goes against her mum,

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I can take over as PM.

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SHE KNOCKS

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Devious but... I like it.

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Lils! Olls!

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SHE AIR KISSES

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Ooh...

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Blue shoes and blue shirt?

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Too matchy-matchy. Come.

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Loving it. OK, you're in the lab.

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You're testing...microbes.

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Testing. Testing.

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But, oh, no! They're contaminated.

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Give me your best bioremediation face.

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Come on. Work the look, Cassie.

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I don't know what that means!

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Stop me if this sounds crazy,

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but I'm thinking we change the white collar to a...

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Wait for it... A very, very light cream.

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Did she just go there? I think she did.

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Hi, Mrs Fitzgerald.

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Mother, you're home early.

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Martha, are you engaging in...fashion?

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I have something to tell you, Mother,

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which I can't hide any longer.

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The truth is...

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..I just love fashion.

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Do you need to sit down, Mrs Fitzgerald?

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No, I don't. Because this is...

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..wonderful.

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Is it?

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For years I've been waiting,

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hoping my daughter would take an interest in fashion.

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It's like I always say, dress to kill.

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Or at least severely injure.

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THEY CHUCKLE

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Don't feel left out, Lily. Every team needs someone to do the boring,

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unglamorous organisational work.

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That's right, Lily. We can't all be creative like Martha.

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-Less talk, more sewing!

-Sorry, Mrs Fitzgerald!

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What are you going to do, Keith?

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When are you going to tell Jas the truth?

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How's it going, Dad?

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HE IMITATES DRILLS AND HAMMERS

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Really well, thanks, Jas.

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-Need any help?

-No!

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No, I mean, I'm fine.

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Too many workers spoil the shelves, as they say.

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OK, then. Well, see you later.

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This can't go on.

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You have to tell her.

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I will.

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I will tell her.

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HE IMITATES DRILLS AND HAMMERS

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Forgot to give you your sandwiches.

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Thanks, Jas!

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HE IMITATES DRILLS

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HE IMITATES HAMMERS

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I can't fix any of this!

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Yes, yes, you can't do DIY

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and you don't want Jas to know.

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I get it. I get it.

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What am I going to do?

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Just stay there and don't break anything.

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I'm going to have to do it, aren't I?

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As if I haven't enough things to be getting on with!

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HE MOANS

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The woodwork teacher's off sick today

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so I'll have to find someone else to finish off the runway.

0:17:390:17:42

But, apart from that, everything's nearly ready.

0:17:420:17:44

Wonderful, darling.

0:17:440:17:46

And here's my latest variation.

0:17:460:17:47

I've put an extra pocket here for pipettes and stirring rods.

0:17:490:17:53

Fabulous. I love how it's white but not too white.

0:17:530:17:57

I know, right?

0:17:570:17:58

Plus, it would look fantastic

0:17:580:18:00

alongside a complementary trouser suit collection.

0:18:000:18:03

Maybe something in pinstripe.

0:18:030:18:05

Wait a minute. I recognise that poster.

0:18:070:18:09

Surprise! I thought you could do with a little help, darling.

0:18:130:18:16

Sending out invites.

0:18:220:18:24

Organising the seating plan.

0:18:240:18:26

I thought this fashion task would be fun.

0:18:260:18:28

Tell me about it. Even a treat like programming the budget spreadsheet

0:18:280:18:32

isn't the same without Martha.

0:18:320:18:33

Look at us. What would Sir Adam Salt say?

0:18:350:18:38

-GRUFFLY:

-You've got to pull your finger out!

0:18:380:18:41

HE CHUCKLES

0:18:410:18:43

That's almost as good as Martha.

0:18:430:18:45

Really? Well, let's get on with it, then, you numpty!

0:18:450:18:49

-Never gets old.

-Maybe I could help you

0:18:500:18:51

with programming the budget spreadsheet?

0:18:510:18:54

You had me at "programming".

0:18:540:18:56

Mrs Rennison, you're amazing.

0:18:560:18:59

I know. I'm wasted here.

0:18:590:19:01

DOOR OPENS

0:19:010:19:02

Hiya.

0:19:040:19:06

Wow! Great job, Dad.

0:19:060:19:08

Oh, yeah. It was nothing.

0:19:080:19:10

Come on. Let's go.

0:19:100:19:12

Oh, Mrs Rennison, are you sure you don't want the desk fixing?

0:19:120:19:15

Wow! She really can't wait to enjoy those shelves!

0:19:200:19:23

Are you sure this is where you want me? Sorting buttons?

0:19:260:19:29

I just feel this is where I need you right now.

0:19:290:19:31

Buttons are so in right now.

0:19:310:19:34

Well, if you're sure.

0:19:340:19:36

Quite. Now, if you'll excuse me,

0:19:360:19:38

I must go check up on darling Olls and Lils.

0:19:380:19:41

Just the people I want.

0:19:440:19:46

There's been a change of direction.

0:19:460:19:48

-Pinstripe suits.

-Is this what Martha wants?

0:19:490:19:52

Of course it is.

0:19:520:19:54

Our existing range is fine for the pret-a-porter collection,

0:19:540:19:57

but to demonstrate our more couture side we need something

0:19:570:19:59

with a touch more zhuzh.

0:19:590:20:02

-Is this true?

-I have no idea what she's talking about.

0:20:020:20:06

I've collated the figures to estimate our profit margin.

0:20:090:20:11

Good work, Ollie. I suggest we debug in PHP

0:20:110:20:13

once I've addressed these syntax errors.

0:20:130:20:16

Ah, that's integrated data for you.

0:20:160:20:18

At least we've got a mediated schema.

0:20:180:20:20

-Imagine if we didn't!

-It's like Sir Adam always says...

0:20:200:20:22

-GRUFFLY:

-"It ain't rocket science, you just got to think about it."

0:20:220:20:26

It's like Martha's right here.

0:20:260:20:28

DOOR SLAMS

0:20:280:20:30

Martha! Well, we were...

0:20:320:20:34

-We were just...

-Are you two programming together?

0:20:340:20:37

That's OUR thing, Ollie!

0:20:370:20:39

HE SIGHS

0:20:390:20:40

I just got carried away. I was thinking about you the whole time.

0:20:400:20:44

Yeah. OK.

0:20:440:20:45

Well, the fashion show starts in an hour,

0:20:460:20:48

so I hope you've done everything.

0:20:480:20:50

We're fine, actually. The budget's almost ready to present.

0:20:500:20:54

What about you?

0:20:540:20:55

Everything's in hand. The collection is nearly there,

0:20:550:20:58

and to help finish construction of the fashion runway

0:20:580:21:00

Jas has volunteered the services of a DIY expert.

0:21:000:21:04

A DIY expert?

0:21:040:21:06

I know what I'm doing.

0:21:060:21:08

I'm a DIY expert.

0:21:080:21:09

HE CLATTERS AND CLUNKS

0:21:150:21:17

Now...

0:21:170:21:18

Let's all pick up our turny sticks.

0:21:180:21:22

You mean our screwdrivers?

0:21:220:21:24

And make sure you don't confuse them with the banger-inners

0:21:240:21:29

or the crocodile faces.

0:21:290:21:31

-QUIETLY:

-Help me. I have no idea what I'm doing.

0:21:320:21:35

Really? I'd never have guessed.

0:21:350:21:38

Why are you even here?

0:21:380:21:39

It's a long story. But Jas has to think I know DIY.

0:21:390:21:44

MOBILE VIBRATES

0:21:440:21:46

Just follow my lead, OK?

0:21:500:21:52

OK.

0:21:520:21:53

Now...

0:21:560:21:57

Guys, I need everyone to...

0:21:570:21:59

..wave their hands around.

0:22:010:22:04

Do some pointing.

0:22:050:22:06

Get out your paint brushes

0:22:100:22:13

and paint your bits of wood?

0:22:130:22:15

See? I told you I knew what I was doing.

0:22:170:22:19

MACHINE WHIRS

0:22:190:22:20

No, no, no, no!

0:22:200:22:23

RIPPING FABRIC

0:22:230:22:24

LAUGHTER

0:22:240:22:26

No, no!

0:22:260:22:27

Jas, listen.

0:22:270:22:29

You never told me the DIY expert was your dad.

0:22:290:22:33

So? He may be clumsy sometimes. but he's actually...

0:22:330:22:35

LINE DISCONNECTS

0:22:350:22:36

-Hello?

-Jas, look, there's something I need to tell you.

0:22:360:22:39

No time! Martha needs the runway putting together right now.

0:22:390:22:42

But I can't do it.

0:22:420:22:44

Of course you can.

0:22:440:22:45

You're my DIY hero!

0:22:450:22:47

But I haven't got any trousers!

0:22:480:22:50

Don't worry. We'll improvise.

0:22:500:22:51

How's the collection?

0:22:540:22:56

We've gone in a wonderful new direction, darling.

0:22:560:22:59

Speechless with joy.

0:23:040:23:06

I knew she would be.

0:23:060:23:07

Mr Salford's on his way.

0:23:120:23:14

Maybe he's good at DIY after all.

0:23:140:23:16

Hey, what's wrong?

0:23:190:23:21

Mother has completely taken over.

0:23:210:23:23

I was designing clothes and now she's done her own collection.

0:23:230:23:27

She's stolen my thing.

0:23:270:23:29

But that's what you...

0:23:290:23:31

I mean... That's terrible.

0:23:330:23:35

I can't go against her.

0:23:360:23:38

What can we do?

0:23:380:23:39

Are you sure this looks OK, Jas?

0:23:430:23:46

Yeah, Dad. Everyone's loving it.

0:23:460:23:48

What on earth is that man wearing?

0:23:500:23:52

Right, what's going on with this fashion show?

0:23:520:23:54

-Updates, people.

-I thought Martha was in charge.

0:23:540:23:57

Of creativity, yeah.

0:23:570:23:59

But I'm in charge of project delivery.

0:23:590:24:01

It's boring and unglamorous, but someone's got to do it.

0:24:010:24:04

-What's this?

-Hmm? Oh! Oh, this is my new collection.

0:24:050:24:08

-Wonderful, isn't it?

-Where are the Lab-Dresses?

0:24:080:24:11

-We're going instead with the pinstripe collection.

-Nonsense.

0:24:110:24:13

Change it back. The Lab-Dress is our signature piece.

0:24:130:24:16

Much more creative than boring old pinstripe.

0:24:160:24:18

And we're not going to do the show without it. Cassie, Maxwell?

0:24:180:24:22

Well! I do think Lily was a little harsh on my pinstripe suits.

0:24:220:24:27

GRUFFLY: Orders is orders. You just got to suck it up!

0:24:270:24:30

-Please don't do that, darling.

-Sorry, Mother.

0:24:300:24:34

Well? Are we going to be ready in time?

0:24:340:24:37

It will be fine. My dad always hits his targets.

0:24:370:24:40

SCREAMING

0:24:410:24:43

Vocal warm-ups.

0:24:460:24:47

We never start without them.

0:24:470:24:49

HE WHIMPERS

0:24:490:24:52

-What's wrong, Dad?

-What's wrong?

0:24:520:24:56

I don't even have the first clue about DIY, that's what's wrong.

0:24:560:25:00

HE GASPS

0:25:000:25:01

I never put up so much as a shelf in my life.

0:25:010:25:04

I don't even know which end of the twisty stick

0:25:040:25:07

to hit with the banger-inner. I...

0:25:070:25:10

I've ruined the fashion show.

0:25:120:25:14

See?

0:25:180:25:19

I knew we could do it.

0:25:190:25:20

That's the power of teamwork. We might just be kids,

0:25:200:25:23

but if we pull together we can achieve anything.

0:25:230:25:25

HAMMERING There!

0:25:250:25:27

That's the last time I ever do anything for you lot.

0:25:270:25:31

Right. Let's get this show on the road.

0:25:330:25:36

Rob, music!

0:25:360:25:38

Boom!

0:25:380:25:39

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:390:25:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:410:25:43

They're loving it! We did it! We pulled it off!

0:25:580:26:01

And I must say, the pinstripe curtains really add

0:26:010:26:03

to the sophisticated and professional message

0:26:030:26:05

we're trying to get across.

0:26:050:26:07

It's great. And please can everyone keep me away

0:26:070:26:09

from interior design in future?

0:26:090:26:11

RIPPING

0:26:110:26:13

MUSIC POWERS DOWN

0:26:130:26:15

MURMURS

0:26:150:26:16

Er...

0:26:160:26:19

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:26:190:26:21

may I present...

0:26:210:26:22

the DIY collection?!

0:26:220:26:25

Here we have the dunga-kilt.

0:26:250:26:28

Stylish, comfortable and recyclable.

0:26:280:26:32

And, yes, that is cardboard!

0:26:320:26:35

MUSIC STARTS AGAIN

0:26:370:26:39

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:440:26:48

Oh, my dad's doing so well.

0:26:550:26:56

He hasn't even fallen over!

0:26:560:26:58

SCREAMING, THUDDING >

0:26:580:26:59

Oh! Spoke too soon!

0:26:590:27:01

And then we met Sir Adam Salt,

0:27:040:27:06

and he was even more charming in person.

0:27:060:27:09

He said, "You done good, guys.

0:27:090:27:11

"I've met some right numpties in my time, but you guys were OK."

0:27:110:27:14

Oh, it just gets better.

0:27:140:27:17

No more fashion for me, though.

0:27:170:27:18

It was fun, but the science world is a lot less stressful.

0:27:180:27:21

Well, it's great you got to meet your idol.

0:27:210:27:24

-And it's great you found your role again.

-What, as the creative one?

0:27:240:27:28

No, as the bossy one who tells people what to do.

0:27:280:27:30

Very funny.

0:27:310:27:33

Hi, guys.

0:27:330:27:34

Wait a minute.

0:27:340:27:36

Is that one of my T-shirts?

0:27:360:27:38

Yeah. Everyone's wearing them since I handed them out at school.

0:27:380:27:41

They're so in right now.

0:27:410:27:43

Yes!

0:27:440:27:45

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