Science Chic So Awkward

-Hey, Jas. How's...?

-Morning!

Is that a mask of my face?

Yeah. What do you think?

That it's a mask of my face.

Of course it is.

It's Come To School As Lily Day.

You didn't forget, did you?

Come To School As Lily Day?

Yeah! Lucky you actually ARE Lily.

Otherwise you'd look really out of place.

OK, one, this is freaking me out.

And, two, I hardly think the whole school has come to school dressed...

DRAMATIC CHORDS

You two, as well? Do you know how embarrassing it is

having everyone wearing my face?

-IN LILY'S VOICE:

-Not as embarrassing as my mum.

She's so embarrassing.

But I just don't know how to tell her.

-IN LILY'S VOICE:

-You think you've got it bad? What about me and Rob?

I mean, I know he likes me, but does he really like me?

SHE SCREAMS

ALL SCREAM

And everywhere I looked, all I could see was my face.

Sounds absolutely horrible.

-# Ooh-ooh-ooh

-Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh!

# Ooh!

# So... So... So...

# Ooh-ooh, ooh Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh

# Aah-aah, aah Aah-aah, aah, aah-aah

# So... So... So... So...

# So, oooh

# So awkward! #

Well?

-Is it up?

-No, not yet.

-Oh, what's this?

-The Great British Business Challenge.

It's a competition open to all Business Studies students.

They announce the task on the website

and you get two days to complete it.

Oh. I never knew about this.

Well, you don't do Business. You took Interpretive Dance, remember?

Oh, yeah!

TINKLY MUSIC PLAYS

That means, "Shame I didn't get to do Business Studies."

I wonder what the task will be.

Please be stocks and shares. Please be stocks and shares...

Oh! Ten-second countdown!

Or pensions! Please be pensions!

Or investments! Yes!

Investments... Investments...

"Organise a fashion show"!

-Fashion?

-This is great.

I'll be project manager. OK, Martha?

SHE GASPS

SHE SQUEALS

It's OK.

I speak Excited Martha.

She says, "I don't believe it. The winning project manager

"gets to meet business legend Sir Adam Salt. He's my hero."

"How I Dun Business by Sir Adam Salt"?

He's your hero?

He's so ruthless. It's brilliant how he gets rid of people.

GRUFFLY: "You're sacked, you numpty."

-HE LAUGHS

-That's really good!

I want to be project manager.

I don't want to be mean, Martha,

but you don't exactly know much about fashion.

What's to know? That's a shoe.

That's a shirt. That's a...

you know...cloth cylinder.

-A skirt.

-Yeah, yeah, the terms are unimportant.

You've got many great qualities.

You're clever, you're organised.

Great, so I'm project manager.

-Settled.

-But, Martha...

I said, "It's settled," you numpty!

-HE GIGGLES

-It's like he's in the room.

Sorry, Lily. But I've always wanted to meet Sir Adam Salt.

And I've always wanted to put on a fashion show.

TINKLY MUSIC PLAYS

This means, "Now I'm glad I chose Interpretive Dance."

Ugh!

Wah!

I can't believe Martha wants to be project manager!

This is supposed to be a creative project, and I'M the creative one.

-Are you?

-Yeah!

Ollie's the computer-y one, Martha's the science-y one.

I'm the mysterious one.

-Not sure about that.

-What am I, then?

Well, you're the...

You're...

About to walk into that trophy!

CLATTERING, GASPS

Whoops!

Mrs Rennison must have some glue somewhere.

-I really don't think this is a good idea.

-Ah!

Glue.

Ooh, mind that vase!

Mind that picture frame!

CLATTERING, SMASHING

Oh, I know.

Jas, you can't climb on that!

LOUD CLATTERING

Gotcha!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, fine.

Slightly less fine now...

So, obviously we need a runway.

A catwalk?

The thing models walk up and down on.

-BOTH:

-Oh!

Well, more importantly,

we need to decide who's going to be project manager.

Well, I think it should be me, because of my creative flair.

Which brings me neatly to my design ideas.

You've got design ideas already?

Yeah. I'm always sketching new fashion ideas.

This is a good one. It's my cloud motif.

Clouds are so in right now.

-I know.

-Why does it say "Rob"?

What?

"R-O-B".

SHE SNORTS

That's so weird!

What a strange coincidence!

So, you've designed clothes.

I'm sure I could do that if I put my mind to it.

Hey. How about you both present your designs to the group

and whoever does the best one gets to be project manager?

-Well, I don't think...

-Great idea, Jenny.

Unless you're unable to do that, Martha?

No. I can do it.

How hard can it be?

There.

-Trousers!

-I hate to break it to you, Martha,

but someone's already designed trousers. They're everywhere.

Yes, you're right. OK, well, what about this?

-Isn't that the Cranmede school uniform?

-Yes, but in red.

SHE GROANS

This is so hard. Lily should just lead the task.

I'm obviously just not creative.

I've seen your hypothesis on dark matter.

Anyone who makes those kind of brilliant, imaginative leaps

-has to be creative.

-You're right.

Creativity is a key part of theoretical maths and science.

I just have to direct it towards body...coverings.

-You mean clothes.

-Yeah, exactly.

Thanks, Ollie. You've just given me a fashion idea.

You do know the sock, the shirt, the coat have all been done?

So, what has she broken this time?

What has she broken this time?

This and...

that!

-It was an accident.

-Jas, you have to take more care.

If you don't take care you end up with all this.

SMASHING

Don't worry, Mrs Rennison.

My dad could mend the shelves.

-What...?

-What a wonderful idea.

And after he's done that we'll get some cats to rewire the plugs,

and a chicken to paint the walls!

Now that I'd like to see.

My dad may be clumsy sometimes, but he's actually brilliant at DIY.

-Is he now?

-I bet Mrs Griggs would let him.

She always wants parents to get involved with the school.

Well, thankfully, Mrs Griggs is away at a headteachers' conference,

-so we can't ask her.

-It's OK. I've e-mailed her.

She'll be far too busy to... PING!

Oh! She's replied.

"Hi, Jas. Mr Salford fixing shelves, brilliant idea.

"Almost as good as Mrs Rennison's idea to kidnap my toy penguin.

"Tell her Mr Salford is all yours and revenge is sweet.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha."

Bit weird. But, yay!

-Right, Dad?

-Er, yeah...

Yay.

And now I'm going to unveil my design.

This one I simply call "swirls".

Why does everything have Rob on it?

What do you mean?

"R-O-B".

I think you're just seeing things, Jenny.

This is clearly just an abstract study of shape and form.

Moving on. Martha, would you like to introduce your design?

Oh.

Very well.

My design features handy pockets for test tubes.

MURMURING

That's not all. It's also made of hard-wearing fabric

that can withstand a 60-degree wash.

GIGGLING AND YAWNING

Can we see it?

Um...

"The Lab-Dress.

"All the function of a lab coat with the style of a dress."

It's OK, Martha. Fashion design isn't for everyone.

APPLAUSE

They like it. They actually like it. I am creative.

This isn't in right now, but it SO will be.

Which means I'm project manager?

OK, OK.

Maybe we could use this.

But the Lab-Dress will complement my T-shirt designs perfectly.

Ooh... We probably won't have time to turn both of them

into a full collection.

But we can put Rob's name on the Lab-Dress, if you want?

Well done, that's so good!

MURMURS OF APPRECIATION

-Are those your tools?

-Oh, yes.

The right tool for the right job, I always say.

-Professional as ever.

-Yes, I can see that.

Good job I brought these, then.

THUD!

You do know what one of these is?

Of course.

It's a banger-inner. Now, where do I plug it in?

"Rob"... "Rob"...

"Rob"!

What is wrong with me?

Hey, Lily.

-How's it going?

-Oh, fine.

Although, actually, not fine.

Martha's stolen my thing.

-What's she stolen?

-My role as the creative one in the group.

Oh. Shall I call the police?

-Don't look!

-But...

This is great.

Do you...see anything on them?

Yeah. Clouds.

Mind if I borrow this?

Oh. Take it.

Take the lot. I'm done with designing.

There's just something so cool about them. I can't put my finger on it.

Wonder what it is.

Beats me.

Right. Shelves.

How hard can it be?

That's it. Backwards and forwards.

Keep going. You're doing it, Keith!

You're actually doing it!

Jas was right!

You can DIY!

CLUNKING

Hey, Lily.

Jas! How did it go with Mrs Rennison?

Really good. My dad's mending the shelves.

Your dad? As in the clumsiest man in the world, your dad?

Hey, he could help you build stuff for the fashion show.

No! I mean, I'm sure he's got his hands full already.

-How's it going?

-Really well.

Apart from the fact that Martha got project manager

and is designing all the clothes. It's not fair, Jas.

I've always been the creative one.

But the thing is Martha only wants to be project manager

so she can meet that Sir Adam Salt guy.

She's not really into fashion. She's just...

POPPY MUSIC PLAYS

That's a no.

That's a yes.

That's a ugh. And that's a "Seriously, what are we doing here?"

Not done. I'm thinking white, I'm thinking test tube,

I'm thinking chemical reactions.

Still not done!

It's got to say Chemistry, it's got to say Physics.

It's got to say "I meet the required hygiene standards

"of a research facility."

OK, I'm done. ..Hey, Lils.

SHE AIR KISSES

Lunch soon? And I'm walking.

Whoa!

What are you two doing here?

We're doing the challenge next year, and volunteered to help.

It's great. Lots of work for no credit whatsoever.

Still walking!

-Woodworm?

-Yes.

Luckily, I discovered it now, before it caused serious problems.

You've sawn my desk in half!

Obviously, I had to do that to check the extent of the problem.

You're welcome.

-How's it going, Dad?

-Have you seen what he's done to my desk?

Detected some underlying problems, Jas,

but, obviously, Mrs Rennison isn't happy

so maybe we'd better find somebody else.

But Mrs Griggs is relying on you.

Listen...

"Dearest Jas. My little conference has overrun,

"so tell your dad to carry on with the DIY in Mrs Rennison's office.

"Ha-ha-ha."

She's such a happy person.

Same time tomorrow?

Martha sent me a text about Velcro earlier.

I'm not sure I want to see her like this.

Don't worry. I'm pretty sure we'll soon have the old Martha back.

Mrs Fitzgerald won't want her daughter

wasting her time with fashion.

And because Martha never goes against her mum,

I can take over as PM.

SHE KNOCKS

Devious but... I like it.

Lils! Olls!

SHE AIR KISSES

Ooh...

Blue shoes and blue shirt?

Too matchy-matchy. Come.

Loving it. OK, you're in the lab.

You're testing...microbes.

Testing. Testing.

But, oh, no! They're contaminated.

Give me your best bioremediation face.

Come on. Work the look, Cassie.

I don't know what that means!

Stop me if this sounds crazy,

but I'm thinking we change the white collar to a...

Wait for it... A very, very light cream.

Did she just go there? I think she did.

Hi, Mrs Fitzgerald.

Mother, you're home early.

Martha, are you engaging in...fashion?

I have something to tell you, Mother,

which I can't hide any longer.

The truth is...

..I just love fashion.

Do you need to sit down, Mrs Fitzgerald?

No, I don't. Because this is...

..wonderful.

Is it?

For years I've been waiting,

hoping my daughter would take an interest in fashion.

It's like I always say, dress to kill.

Or at least severely injure.

THEY CHUCKLE

Don't feel left out, Lily. Every team needs someone to do the boring,

unglamorous organisational work.

That's right, Lily. We can't all be creative like Martha.

-Less talk, more sewing!

-Sorry, Mrs Fitzgerald!

What are you going to do, Keith?

When are you going to tell Jas the truth?

How's it going, Dad?

HE IMITATES DRILLS AND HAMMERS

Really well, thanks, Jas.

-Need any help?

-No!

No, I mean, I'm fine.

Too many workers spoil the shelves, as they say.

OK, then. Well, see you later.

This can't go on.

You have to tell her.

I will.

I will tell her.

HE IMITATES DRILLS AND HAMMERS

Forgot to give you your sandwiches.

Thanks, Jas!

HE IMITATES DRILLS

HE IMITATES HAMMERS

I can't fix any of this!

Yes, yes, you can't do DIY

and you don't want Jas to know.

I get it. I get it.

What am I going to do?

Just stay there and don't break anything.

I'm going to have to do it, aren't I?

As if I haven't enough things to be getting on with!

HE MOANS

The woodwork teacher's off sick today

so I'll have to find someone else to finish off the runway.

But, apart from that, everything's nearly ready.

Wonderful, darling.

And here's my latest variation.

I've put an extra pocket here for pipettes and stirring rods.

Fabulous. I love how it's white but not too white.

I know, right?

Plus, it would look fantastic

alongside a complementary trouser suit collection.

Maybe something in pinstripe.

Wait a minute. I recognise that poster.

Surprise! I thought you could do with a little help, darling.

Sending out invites.

Organising the seating plan.

I thought this fashion task would be fun.

Tell me about it. Even a treat like programming the budget spreadsheet

isn't the same without Martha.

Look at us. What would Sir Adam Salt say?

-GRUFFLY:

-You've got to pull your finger out!

HE CHUCKLES

That's almost as good as Martha.

Really? Well, let's get on with it, then, you numpty!

-Never gets old.

-Maybe I could help you

with programming the budget spreadsheet?

You had me at "programming".

Mrs Rennison, you're amazing.

I know. I'm wasted here.

DOOR OPENS

Hiya.

Wow! Great job, Dad.

Oh, yeah. It was nothing.

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, Mrs Rennison, are you sure you don't want the desk fixing?

Wow! She really can't wait to enjoy those shelves!

Are you sure this is where you want me? Sorting buttons?

I just feel this is where I need you right now.

Buttons are so in right now.

Well, if you're sure.

Quite. Now, if you'll excuse me,

I must go check up on darling Olls and Lils.

Just the people I want.

There's been a change of direction.

-Pinstripe suits.

-Is this what Martha wants?

Of course it is.

Our existing range is fine for the pret-a-porter collection,

but to demonstrate our more couture side we need something

with a touch more zhuzh.

-Is this true?

-I have no idea what she's talking about.

I've collated the figures to estimate our profit margin.

Good work, Ollie. I suggest we debug in PHP

once I've addressed these syntax errors.

Ah, that's integrated data for you.

At least we've got a mediated schema.

-Imagine if we didn't!

-It's like Sir Adam always says...

-GRUFFLY:

-"It ain't rocket science, you just got to think about it."

It's like Martha's right here.

DOOR SLAMS

Martha! Well, we were...

-We were just...

-Are you two programming together?

That's OUR thing, Ollie!

HE SIGHS

I just got carried away. I was thinking about you the whole time.

Yeah. OK.

Well, the fashion show starts in an hour,

so I hope you've done everything.

We're fine, actually. The budget's almost ready to present.

What about you?

Everything's in hand. The collection is nearly there,

and to help finish construction of the fashion runway

Jas has volunteered the services of a DIY expert.

A DIY expert?

I know what I'm doing.

I'm a DIY expert.

HE CLATTERS AND CLUNKS

Now...

Let's all pick up our turny sticks.

You mean our screwdrivers?

And make sure you don't confuse them with the banger-inners

or the crocodile faces.

-QUIETLY:

-Help me. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Really? I'd never have guessed.

Why are you even here?

It's a long story. But Jas has to think I know DIY.

MOBILE VIBRATES

Just follow my lead, OK?

OK.

Now...

Guys, I need everyone to...

..wave their hands around.

Do some pointing.

Get out your paint brushes

and paint your bits of wood?

See? I told you I knew what I was doing.

MACHINE WHIRS

No, no, no, no!

RIPPING FABRIC

LAUGHTER

No, no!

Jas, listen.

You never told me the DIY expert was your dad.

So? He may be clumsy sometimes. but he's actually...

LINE DISCONNECTS

-Hello?

-Jas, look, there's something I need to tell you.

No time! Martha needs the runway putting together right now.

But I can't do it.

Of course you can.

You're my DIY hero!

But I haven't got any trousers!

Don't worry. We'll improvise.

How's the collection?

We've gone in a wonderful new direction, darling.

Speechless with joy.

I knew she would be.

Mr Salford's on his way.

Maybe he's good at DIY after all.

Hey, what's wrong?

Mother has completely taken over.

I was designing clothes and now she's done her own collection.

She's stolen my thing.

But that's what you...

I mean... That's terrible.

I can't go against her.

What can we do?

Are you sure this looks OK, Jas?

Yeah, Dad. Everyone's loving it.

What on earth is that man wearing?

Right, what's going on with this fashion show?

-Updates, people.

-I thought Martha was in charge.

Of creativity, yeah.

But I'm in charge of project delivery.

It's boring and unglamorous, but someone's got to do it.

-What's this?

-Hmm? Oh! Oh, this is my new collection.

-Wonderful, isn't it?

-Where are the Lab-Dresses?

-We're going instead with the pinstripe collection.

-Nonsense.

Change it back. The Lab-Dress is our signature piece.

Much more creative than boring old pinstripe.

And we're not going to do the show without it. Cassie, Maxwell?

Well! I do think Lily was a little harsh on my pinstripe suits.

GRUFFLY: Orders is orders. You just got to suck it up!

-Please don't do that, darling.

-Sorry, Mother.

Well? Are we going to be ready in time?

It will be fine. My dad always hits his targets.

SCREAMING

Vocal warm-ups.

We never start without them.

HE WHIMPERS

-What's wrong, Dad?

-What's wrong?

I don't even have the first clue about DIY, that's what's wrong.

HE GASPS

I never put up so much as a shelf in my life.

I don't even know which end of the twisty stick

to hit with the banger-inner. I...

I've ruined the fashion show.

See?

I knew we could do it.

That's the power of teamwork. We might just be kids,

but if we pull together we can achieve anything.

HAMMERING There!

That's the last time I ever do anything for you lot.

Right. Let's get this show on the road.

Rob, music!

Boom!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

They're loving it! We did it! We pulled it off!

And I must say, the pinstripe curtains really add

to the sophisticated and professional message

we're trying to get across.

It's great. And please can everyone keep me away

from interior design in future?

RIPPING

MUSIC POWERS DOWN

MURMURS

Er...

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I present...

the DIY collection?!

Here we have the dunga-kilt.

Stylish, comfortable and recyclable.

And, yes, that is cardboard!

MUSIC STARTS AGAIN

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, my dad's doing so well.

He hasn't even fallen over!

SCREAMING, THUDDING >

Oh! Spoke too soon!

And then we met Sir Adam Salt,

and he was even more charming in person.

He said, "You done good, guys.

"I've met some right numpties in my time, but you guys were OK."

Oh, it just gets better.

No more fashion for me, though.

It was fun, but the science world is a lot less stressful.

Well, it's great you got to meet your idol.

-And it's great you found your role again.

-What, as the creative one?

No, as the bossy one who tells people what to do.

Very funny.

Hi, guys.

Wait a minute.

Is that one of my T-shirts?

Yeah. Everyone's wearing them since I handed them out at school.

They're so in right now.

Yes!