The Lost and Found Boy Strange Hill High


The Lost and Found Boy

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# Creepy ain't the word

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# Freaky ain't the word

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# Sneaky ain't the word

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# See what I've observed

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# Is there's no easy way to describe this geeky place

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# Even geeky place doesn't tell you what I need to say

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# This is Strange Hill!

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# Where a talking frog can eat your face!

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# It's very, very random

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# You'll get use to these debates, if you stick around

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# Although I wouldn't recommend it

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# When they use the name Strange Mate, they really meant it!

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# There's some things in life with which you just don't mess

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# On every vest, I got the letters SOS

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# Cos you never know what might be lurking round the corner

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# Or what it might do if they ever found or saw you

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# Keep the lights on in the hallways, all day

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# Things won't always tend to go your way

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# Watch your back, and be prepared Can't wait for 3.30

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# See you there! #

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SCHOOL BELL

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Excuse me, son.

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If you see my boy, will you tell him I'm here?

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OK.

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Hey, guys, wait up!

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Wait! What's your son's name?

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Where'd he go?

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Why, people really are impatient these days.

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Even weird, extremely old-fashioned people.

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"You're late again, Tanner."

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But I was just helping this moustache guy.

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"How many excuses do you think you can make up before we lose patience with you?"

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Well, it's been about 10 to date,

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and you've fallen for every one, except this time it's real, so...

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"To the Headmaster's office. NOW!"

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BLOWS RASPBERRY

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"I saw that!"

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Tut tut tut tut!

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Tut, tut, tut, tut!

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Tut, tut, tut, tut.

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What's with all the tongue clicking around here?

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I think you know what this tut-tut-tutting and click-cluck-clucking is about.

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This is your file from your old school.

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Whatever it says, it's not true.

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Your name's not Mitchell Jojo Tanner?

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-It is...

-Listen, you have quite a record from your old school.

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And just because you're new to Strange Hill

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doesn't mean I won't have my eyes on you.

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And that doesn't mean I won't not get in trouble.

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Eyes. On. You.

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Where's my desk?!

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Guess you should have had your eyes on that instead of on an innocent student.

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You may go.

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Wait, just a minute!

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Hey!

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No desk.

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You're clean.

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Eyes...on...you.

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..and then his desk disappeared!

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Just like that weird old guy outside.

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Do things tend to disappear in this school?

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Never really noticed myself.

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Though things do occasionally go missing, or explode,

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or hover in mid-air, but nothing really out of the ordinary, no.

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Well, all I know is I'm laying low this term.

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I had enough of being wrongly accused of things in my old school.

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Well, I believe you.

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I'll believe anything!

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Thanks. I...think.

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..and the fascinating thing about New Zealand is it's like Australia,

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but without any history or any fun.

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I'll show you.

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My globe!

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What shall I torture you with today?

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STUDENT GASPS

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My hot dog goulash!

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..and it's the most fabulous thing, all covered with sequins

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and rhinestones and it plays music when you button it.

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Ah! It's been stolen!

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My most fabulous thing all covered with sequins

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and rhinestones that played music when I buttoned it!

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Something odd is going on around here.

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Where's my maths book?! I swear, I just had it!

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You know the feeling that you just had something and suddenly it's gone?

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You mean like my sanity?!

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You have that, too?

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Oh. Nice breeze.

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My trousers! Someone's nicked my trousers!

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Arrgghhhhhh!

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Tell me when it's time for graduation.

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Now I feel a warm breeze. On my neck.

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Tell me, Tanner.

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What need do you have for a jacket, shirt and school tie

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from The Basingstoke Stereo Salesmen's College?

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You're not seriously thinking I'm behind all this?

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I don't get more serious than I am right now.

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Surely other people don't think...

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I said to myself from the day he arrived -

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"Stephanie, something is up with that boy."

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And, you know what? I agreed.

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Yeah! Somebody's been stealing all the stuff before we have a chance to get to it!

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It's not right.

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No way. You done hijacked the school, fool.

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He could be...the world's...greatest thief...disguised as...a Mitchell.

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Why would the world's greatest thief target a school?!

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And if I took all this stuff, where is it, hmm?

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As a student, I demand a locker search right now to prove my innocence!

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I wasn't aware students had any rights.

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But I'm always up for a locker search.

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THEY GASP

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Everyone stand back, facing your locker!

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Stuffed animals, energy drinks, a mirror with daily affirmations on it.

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"You're No.1, you are!" This must belong to the Queen of Self-esteem.

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Er. Thank you!

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Boy guarding his privates with a textbook.

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Has anyone reported a bashful boy stolen?

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No.

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I am prepared to accept your apologies in writing.

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Perhaps even a small we're-sorry-we-doubted-you gift?

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-THUMP!

-ARRGH!

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Ah-hah!

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A sequin and a rhinestone!

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THEY GASP

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And what's this?

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Why, that's a globe screw!

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And this?

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A school tie from Basingstoke Stereo Salesmen's College?

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I didn't put those things there! Someone else must've!

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And that someone is...YOU.

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SILENCE

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How come nobody gasped at my startling accusation?

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We...already...figured...that.

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Yeah, like, really - duh!

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-"Mitchell Tanner to the..."

-Yeah, yeah, Headmaster's office.

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I know the drill.

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This is it, Tanner.

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If you don't return everything you've taken by 4pm today,

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you are officially expelled.

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This is nuts! Maybe people just lost stuff!

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"Lost stuff"?!

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I'm not falling for that one.

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That's just an excuse students make up, like

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"Please, sir. The dog ate my homework"

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and "Please Sir. I had tuberculosis."

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Please, sir! You've got it all wrong!

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Mitchell's innocent. Probably. Maybe!

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Innocent? I have a list of hundreds of items that have disappeared

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since Tanner appeared here at Strange Hill!

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Hey!

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We've got to save Mitchell! And the school!

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And, given the chance, the world!

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OK. Could we do it after I find some trousers?

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Hello, deary, I'm here for some reason.

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How come you're not playing the lady?

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Cos then we wouldn't be in disguise! We're going to rescue you.

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I know you're innocent, because I lost my maths book

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and I know you wouldn't in a million years, take a maths book.

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I won't even touch mine!

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Exactly.

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That's why we have to rescue you and prove your innocence

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by 4 o'clock!

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If people really have been losing valuable stuff,

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there's one place we need to check.

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EBay! We once lost my little brother and found him for sale on eBay,

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by my grandparents!

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Along with a toaster! They're slightly demented.

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But tech savvy.

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No, the school Lost & Found! Then eBay.

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Move over, Becky.

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GRUNTING AND RUSTLING

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MOVE AWAY NOISILY

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Hello, young lady! My grandson, Temple...Borgman...Bergmanberg...

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..seems to have lost something valuable that is...

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gold and...has value?

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Beyond the most valuable treasures in the whole wide world.

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Yes, it was worth 40 quid.

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Have you any idea what may have happened to it?

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No.

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Oh. OK. Thank you. Deary.

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There must be...

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There must be some other place missing objects go.

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SHE GROANS

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You can look in the Lost & Found, but I doubt you'll find anything.

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Thank you. Deary.

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Yes, thanks very much.

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GASPS

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My word!

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Whoa!

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Whoa-ahhh!

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Hee hee hee...!

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Errghhhh.

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Hey! Only I was supposed to close my eyes!

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Oh, sorry then!

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Look at all this stuff!

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It's like a national archive of...jumpers with kitties on them.

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And skirts with poodles on them.

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Guess I can wear this until I find some trousers.

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Ooh, pretty, goes with your hair!

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Some of these things are really old.

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Look - souvenir of Luton Hat Festival, 1902!

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Here's another ancient thing - an Oasis CD!

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It's like a collection of everything that's ever been lost at Strange Hill.

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Lost OR stolen.

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Or lost.

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The answer to this whole mystery lies somewhere in there.

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I'm sure of it.

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Me, too! I'm sure of everything!

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Hee hee hee hee hee hee...!

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Guys? I don't think we're alone.

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What's that smell?!

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Ahh, euch......

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Hot dog goulash!

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Cold and gelatinous... just like the canteen serves it!

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This is fresh.

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Someone's been eating it recently. Someone...

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or something.

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Ooh, "thing" I hope - that's much more exciting!

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But terribly scary!

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BOTTLE CLANKS

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What was that?

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It wasn't me. I only tasted the goulash!

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A thing! A thing!

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Who's that?

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Uh, uh, uh, uh...!

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Mr Balding's globe!

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Abercrombie's jacket!

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What's going on here?

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Ah!

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Ow!

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A mysterious rain of vegetables from the sky,

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last reported in 1661!

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Who dares invade my kingdom? Friend or foe?!

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Friend! We're your friends!

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Oh, I like friends, I do!

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Friends to play with - whoo hoo hoo!

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Peter Dustpan, at your service.

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Well, not really.

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I mean, first you tried to frighten us, then you threw veggies at us.

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So you're not really at our service.

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You said you were my friends?

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Ooh, a nice boy and two fetching lasses from the finest classes?

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I'm a guy. Are those my trousers?

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No.

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How come they say Templeton on the band?

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Cos that's the name of the trousers.

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Yes, that's what you call trousers in polite society.

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Jeeves, fetch my finest Templetons!

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I'm off to dine with the Duke of Duncastle!

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Those are my trousers.

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Conference!

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Do give us a moment.

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Those ARE my trousers. My Tuesday trousers.

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I don't trust him.

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He's cute but unstable. Just my type!

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SHE SIGHS

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Listen, if Peter lives here, he can help us all find the lost stuff and clear my name.

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Especially if he was who stole it in the first place!

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Break!

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Peter, er, we're pleased to meet you, too. And we need your help.

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And your trousers/

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All in good time, my friends.

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But first, to my mansion for fun, friendship and games!

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Hop aboard my horseless carriage.

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Faster, my beautiful poodle boy!

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I used to have a team of rats pull me.

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But I got hungry.

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Ooh hoo, you...!

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-Whoa.

-Whoa is right, my right friend! We're here!

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Whoa, poodle boy!

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The Palace of Peter The Great!

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Come, you must meet my other friends!

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Other friends?

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Lord Gym Ball-Head, Lady Tomato Soup-Cans.

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I'd like you to meet my new friends, Master Mitchell, Lady Becky,

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and the Fabulous Poodle Boy!

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"I say, they look most sporting.

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"Think they fancy a game?"

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"Oh, yes, let's. Though Poodle Boy seems rather glum."

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"Well, we'll just have to cheer him up, then!"

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"Who wants to learn to fly?!"

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Aside from the flying, I have another question.

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Assuming he's been here for years, why's he still a kid?

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Get up here!

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Don't you want to FLY?!

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All you have to do is believe.

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Now put your arms out and say..."I believe!"

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ALL: I believe.

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Now bend your knees and leap!

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Leeeeeap!

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We did it!

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We can fly!

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Ahhhhh-oh.

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No, we can't.

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Silly me, I forgot the Magic Dust!

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Hee hee heee..!

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I think that's just actual dust.

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I know another game.

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Who wants to play Crazy Cricket, huh?

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The fact he's actually using the word "crazy"

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is rather alarming.

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Mitchell, look! What's that Lady Tomato Soup-Cans wearing?

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Uh! It's Stephanie's fabulous thing

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all covered in sequins and rhinestones!

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Together with Balding's globe and Abercrombie's jacket,

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that's nearly enough evidence to clear my name!

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We've got to get out of here.

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Ahem! Er, say, er, Peter, that game seems really grand and stuff,

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but we must be going.

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Er, thanks for showing us round the Lost & Found.

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They should call this the Abandoned & Found.

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My parents abandoned me here for ever, and now you found me.

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Or, I should say, I found you.

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And now you'll stay here for ever.

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Or what?

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Or I'll be quite cross.

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ALL GASP

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Hmmm.

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Yes, you three will stay here with me, for ever!

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You'll be my friends to the end.

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Yeah, um, Peter, exactly how long have you been in here?

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Hmm, let me see...

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when my parents abandoned me, Lord Balfour had just become

0:16:280:16:32

Prime Minister, so, yes... I don't know, a few weeks maybe?

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How is King Edward?

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THEY WHISPER

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OK, we don't know how long that is, but it's longer than you think.

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(I've got an idea. Play along.) Uh, Peter?

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Uh, listen, we really need to get out of here.

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How'd you like to...er... come with us?

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Haven't you ever wanted to leave?

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Never! Why should I? My parents obviously don't want me.

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There's nothing out there for me.

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Well, except, of course, for the ravishing Sarah Bernhardt!

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HE BARKS LIKE A DOG

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No, I shall spend the rest of my days here.

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As shall you!

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We'll play for ever and we'll never get old!

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I know something fun we could do.

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How about a treasure hunt?

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A treasure hunt?!

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Ooh, we can be pirates!

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Marvellous pirates with hankies and ruffles and earrings!

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Pirates... who sail the sea, yes?

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Pirates who sail the seas on a fabulous ship named

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The Gilded Slipper!

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Give me that list! Let the hunt beguine!

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Oh, goody gummies! I know where many of these are.

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I'm going to win! I'm going to win!

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(How did you get that list?)

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Let's just say I've only stolen one thing my entire life.

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And I added something to it.

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Hmmm...

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And a heavy gold necklace that reads Super Bishop Bling King.

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Ooh, this must belong to some kind of royalty.

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-(Yeah, a royal pain.)

-Where's my porter?

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I can't be expected to carry all this by myself!

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Ah, here you are.

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Mitchell? Remember you wanted me to remind you when it was getting close to 4?

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Oh, right, me getting expelled and all. So what time is it?

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3.57.

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We gotta get out there!

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Peter, how much of that list have you completed?

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Oh, nearly everything.

0:18:390:18:42

Oh, except for this, well, it's written in.

0:18:420:18:45

"The greatest treasure awaits outside the gates."

0:18:450:18:49

Outside we go!

0:18:490:18:51

Where is the exit in this place?

0:18:510:18:54

Here we are!

0:18:560:18:58

But that's a wall! A solid wall!

0:19:000:19:02

Is it a wall? That's all?

0:19:020:19:06

Or can you conceive...

0:19:060:19:09

We have to believe!

0:19:090:19:10

Ahh, so right, Lady Becky!

0:19:100:19:13

Now, close your eyes and say, "I believe!"

0:19:130:19:19

Say it!

0:19:190:19:20

ALL: I believe!

0:19:200:19:21

Whatever!

0:19:210:19:22

Ta-dahhh!

0:19:290:19:31

Uh! My locker! So that explains it!

0:19:410:19:44

Yeah!

0:19:440:19:45

Thanks for the sweets you had stashed there, by the way.

0:19:450:19:48

Sweets?

0:19:480:19:50

Those were laxatives!

0:19:500:19:51

Like I said, thanks.

0:19:510:19:53

Now what about my final treasure?

0:19:540:19:56

Where's the treasure? Ooh, it better be good!

0:20:000:20:04

Peter?

0:20:040:20:05

Pops!

0:20:060:20:08

Oh, you waited for me!

0:20:080:20:10

I never stopped waiting, m'boy.

0:20:120:20:15

Mums and I took shifts, we did.

0:20:150:20:18

Wore out quite a few clothes standing 'ere.

0:20:180:20:21

Mums'll be so pleased to see you!

0:20:210:20:26

Mama!

0:20:260:20:27

So you've returned everything you took.

0:20:280:20:32

Huh, I didn't take anything!

0:20:320:20:35

(Except your list of things I allegedly took.)

0:20:350:20:37

It was all in the Lost & Found!

0:20:370:20:39

A likely story.

0:20:390:20:40

The Lost & Found closet is quite small.

0:20:400:20:43

It could never hold all these things.

0:20:430:20:45

But... Peter Dustpan... his giant hidden world... (SIGHS)

0:20:450:20:50

It's useless, isn't it?

0:20:500:20:51

Indeed.

0:20:510:20:53

I can't expel you but remember... hmm-hmm...

0:20:530:20:57

Where are my trousers?

0:20:570:21:00

Why, thank you, Peter!

0:21:000:21:02

These are wonderful trousers!

0:21:020:21:06

# Hold tight what you got right now

0:21:160:21:19

# You stopped to shout - Who's lost, who's found?

0:21:190:21:21

# Who's Lost, who's found?

0:21:210:21:24

# Who's Lost, who's found? # Who's Lost, who's found? #

0:21:240:21:26

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:21:260:21:28

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