Happy Campers Zig and Zag

# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two

# One

# Hey, hey, hey, hey

# Welcome along for the ride

# You and me and Zig and Zag

# When our weird worlds collide

# It may seem a little mad

# But you can't close your eyes

# Or you'll miss it

# Hold on tight No-one's driv-driv-driving

# It's time to get on with it Not too late

# Start counting Are your engines on?

# We can't wait

# Count down, this is our time

# Five, four, three, two

# Time for Zig And Zag! #

Maps - check. Compasses - check.

Game of chess - check...mate.

Oh, very good. Very good, Mr Jones.

-Good morning, Mr Jones!

-Hi, neighbourino!

Oh, hello. I know I always say this, but today I really am very busy.

What's this for?

Please put that down. I've spent the last hour getting knots out of it.

-You missed one.

-Ooh! What are these?

Be careful.

They're my antique binoculars.

Aaaah! We're being attacked by giant birds!

Oh. MR JONES GROANS

Au revoir to see you, Mrs Jones.

You are cutting quite the dash in that outfit.

Have you joined the Army Navy, Mrs Jones?

Oh, silly boys. No.

This is my uniform.

Mr Jones and I, or should I say Leader Sparrow and I,

are the leaders of the Junior Woodpeckers.

-Ready for anything, Leader Magpie.

-Ready for anything, Leader Sparrow.

THEY CHUCKLE

Have you packed the maps and the compasses?

-Safe and sound in the Junior Woodpecker crate.

-Excellent.

-Then you're all set for the camping trip.

-We are going camping?

Ooh! We'd love to try camping.

Aah! No. To come along,

you would first have to join the Junior Woodpeckers.

It is no ordinary trip, as the Woodpeckers are going to earn

the most coveted badge of all - the Navigation at Night badge.

BOTH: Ooh! Camping with badges.

That's like sausage and ice cream - a match made in heaven.

Where do we sign up?

Normally I would get my high-flying lawyer to look over this stuff,

but what the hey?

Welcome to Junior Woodpeckers.

BOTH: Ready for anything!

Oh-ho-hoo.

Ah, but you must have at least five badges before you can come camping

and attempt the Navigation at Night badge.

-It was in the rule book.

-Sorry, boys. It's true.

There really isn't time to earn all five badges before we leave.

Hmm.

What would one have to do to earn these five badges?

-Just asking.

-Yeah, just asking and stuff.

Well, let's see.

Badge number one - learn to play a musical instrument.

BOTH: Next.

Badge number two - learn to speak a foreign language.

Seyse-tee.

Gff-nuff-ne-kekkev-nedoshe?

Shlay-bel-berbin! Flippel-gremble-glau.

Wait a second. What language was that?

The question you should be asking, Leader Sparrow,

is, "What language WASN'T it?"

Yes, but...

-Next.

-But, darling...

Badge number three - Painting!

BOTH: Yoo-hoo, leaders, over here.

Oh, my.

But, love...

BOTH: Next.

Badge number four - Helping an Elderly Neighbour.

Oh, I don't want to cross the road. Neither does Mr President.

Next.

Well done, almost there, boys.

Now, finally, badge number...

Leader Magpie, please. Do we really want these two on our camping trip?

Stop fretting, Leader Sparrow.

Isn't it marvellous that they are so enthusiastic to

-join our little trip?

-Well, yes, but...

Well, badge number five - Lumberjacking.

Ha, they will never get that one in time.

-HORN BEEPS

-And here comes the bus.

Phew!

Oh! Oh, yes.

Timber!

Oh...

Let's go camping.

And get more badges.

BOTH: Yeah, yeah.

Well, they did earn their five badges.

OK. Junior Woodpeckers, let's go camping.

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

-# Ah, you want to hey

-Hey!

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

# Ah, you want to ha-ha

# Ah, you want to hey. #

ALL: Yeah!

-# Where do we come from?

-ALL: Where do we come from?

-# And we always tell them

-And we always tell them

-# We're from Burbia

-We're from Burbia... #

MRS JONES GASPS

Careful, Woodpeckers. This is poison ivy. It causes a terrible rash.

We will have to find another way around.

Madam Leader Magpie, excuse moi, fromage frais.

BOTH: Yes.

Well done, boys.

Ready for anything.

You've earned your Thinking on your Feet badges.

Ah, my face. My face!

OK, Woodpeckers, it's time to earn your Putting up a Tent badge.

Oh. Excellent tent-making.

Excellent work, Woodpeckers.

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

Excuse me, Leader Sparrow,

but I do believe you owe us a Putting up a Tent badge.

Now, what other badges can we get?

Very good.

Ooh!

# The badges the badges

# Getting them badges

# The badges, the badges The biddly, biddly badges

# I want a badge for my hat A badge for my...

# I want a badge for my cousin cos his name is Patch

# If you like them badges Give me a dib dib dib

# Dib dib dib

# If you like them badges Give me a dob dob dob

# Dob dob dob

BOTH: # Dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dob dob

# Dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dob dob

-# The badges, the badges

-Give me them badges

-# The badges, the badges

-The biddly, biddly badges

# B to the A to the D

# G to the E to the S

# What's that spell?

# Badgers! #

No, badges.

# The badges, the badges The biddly, biddly badges. #

Right, Woodpeckers, now we have a long hike to Lake Bottomless.

Then, using only our maps and compasses,

we must navigate our way back to camp

to earn the Navigation at Night badge.

-I can't wait!

-That's the best badge of all.

Woodpeckers, ready?

ALL: Ready for anything!

That's the spirit! Let's go.

You know, Leader Magpie, this is what it's all about -

fresh air, nature all around us.

Nothing can spoil this.

Excuse me, Leader Sparrow.

Oh... Yes?

Are there any more badges that we can get

while we're waiting for it to get dark?

-Yeah!

-Like, is there a badge for making monkey sounds?

THEY IMITATE MONKEYS

There's no such badge!

Surely there's a clucking like a chicken badge.

Yeah!

THEY IMITATE CHICKENS

There's no such badge!

Pretending to be a fire engine?

THEY IMITATE FIRE ENGINES

All right, all right, please stop.

Look, how about earning a Making a Campfire badge?

You don't have that one, do you?

Ooh, you're right.

A bit of peace and quiet at last.

Ooh, excellent work, boys.

Now, who's for hot cocoa?

CHEERING

Are you sure you brought the cocoa? I can't find it anywhere.

Yes, it's in the crate with the maps and compasses.

That crate?

No! Our maps and compasses.

-Zig and Zag, what have you done?

-You said make a campfire.

-So we made a fire with the stuff from the camp, right?

-Wrong, boys.

Why didn't you use wood?

Wood? Where would we find that?

Yeah? It's not like it grows on trees.

Ooh!

We've no maps, no compasses,

which means no way of getting back to camp. This is a disaster.

You two are the worst Junior Woodpeckers I've ever met.

I should take all your badges back for this.

Oh, Leader Sparrow, it's just a misunderstanding.

I'm sorry, Leader Magpie, but because of these two,

we're stuck here until morning.

HOWLING But why?

Why?!

Because we've no maps and compasses and it's dark!

-But we do have a map.

-Where?

-Up there.

-The galaxy is one big map.

If there's one thing we know about, it's stars.

Look - there's the North Star.

To get back to camp, all we have to do is follow the North Star

past the Big Dipper's dimples, take a right at Orion's nostril

and then second left after Jupiter's jumper.

Simples.

What do you think, Leader Sparrow?

I think they might just be right. It's certainly worth a try.

Are we ready, Junior Woodpeckers?

ALL: Ready for anything!

Flashlights on, singing on, let's go!

CHEERING

-# Where do we come from?

-Where do we come from?

-# And we always tell them

-And we always tell them

-# We're from Burbia

-We're from Burbia

-# Marchy, marchy Burbia

-Marchy, marchy Burbia. #

BOTH: Home sweet home, everybody.

CHEERING

-They've actually done it.

-I must say you've really impressed me, boys.

That was a very clever bit of night-time navigation.

-Leader Magpie...

-Well done, Woodpeckers.

-BOTH: Navigation at Night badges!

-You've earned them.

I've got to ask - how do you know all that stuff about the universe?

Well, we are aliens from outer space.

Oh, yes, very good, boys, very good. Well, it's been a long night.

Time to turn in for the evening.

Oh.

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

Is that an elephant?

It certainly is.

He came with our tent.

We're returning him to the circus tomorrow.

That doesn't explain what he's doing in my tent!

For the Elephant in the Leader's Tent badge...

There's no such badge!

Elephant Eating Leader's Sleeping Bag badge?

No, bad elephant. We told you that's not the toilet tent.

I'd get cleaning that up, Mr Jones, if I were you.

ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

# Five, four, three, two

# One

# Hey, hey, hey

# Hey, hey, hey

# Hey, hey, hey

# Five, four, three, two

# Bye-bye, Zig and Zag! #