Bitter Then You Zig and Zag

# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one

-#

-Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Well, come along for the ride, you and me and Zig and Zag

# When our weird worlds collide it must seem a little fast

# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it

# Hold on tight cos no-one's drive, drive, driving

# It's time to get on with it Not too late

# Start counting, are your engines on? We can't wait

# Countdown, it's Zig and Zag time

-#

-Five, four, three, two Time for Zig and Zag!

-#

Mm-mm.

I love mud pie.

It's sponge-orific, cream-tastic, chocolaty bonkers.

Yes, but should you be having it every meal?

Well, brown is one of my five-a-day.

Uh, I've told you before, a colour is not one of your five-a-day.

DOORBELL RINGS Oh.

Enchante, Mrs Jones.

Oh, say, your manners are so Continental.

Yes, and so is my breakfast. Ha-ha.

I've just come to invite you over to a little surprise for Mr Jones.

In anticipation of his prize lemon tree, Cedric,

breaking a world record.

Sorry to hear that something of yours is broken.

Would you like to borrow our tool box?

It has a hammer and some cheese in it.

Zig, I've told you before, never put a hammer in the tool box.

It's cheese and crackers only.

We'll be there, Mrs Jones.

Until then, vol-au-vent.

Oh, French.

Yes, like my toast. Ha-ha.

CHATTERING

It's so exciting.

Shh! Everyone, here he comes.

ALL: Yay!

What's going on?

Surprise, darling.

We're all here to celebrate you breaking the world

record for the most lemons on a lemon tree.

But I haven't broken it yet.

Well, you almost have.

Just one more lemon and you'll fulfil your lifelong ambition

to get your name in The Book Of Amazingly Incredible World Records.

He gets his name in a book.

-Coo-well.

-Huh? What's everyone drinking?

Lemonade, of course.

Argh, not from Cedric!

Of course not.

It's made with lemons from the other trees.

Eee. Oh, thank goodness.

-Three cheers for Mr Jones.

-Cheer! Cheer! Cheer! Ha-ha-ha.

GIGGLING AND SLURPING

Ooh.

Right bro, let's blow this party cos I have an inge-henious idea.

-We should become ice road truckers?

-Er, no.

We should break a record of our own

and get our names in this Book Of Amazingly Incredible World Records.

That would be the coolest earthling-type thing to do ever.

-Yeah. I'm with you, girlfriend.

-Ha-ha.

-Ha-ha.

Thanks for coming,

Mrs Book Of Amazingly Incredible World Records lady.

Cheese and crackers?

-Hmm.

-Right, well, down to business.

Ahem. Zig,

I think you'll be impressed, as we are about to

break the world record for balancing

-pink wafer biscuits.

-Whoa.

344. I think you'll find that's one more than the current world record.

-Hm-hm.

-Mm-hm.

-Not so fast, furry boys.

-Aw.

I think you'll find 345 over here, lady, official lady.

What!

Whoa.

Mmm. Mm-hm.

Ha-ha-ha

MUMBLES

You said it, bro.

Sorry, furry boys.

But when there is a competition, we are

going to be number one every time.

Boom.

Oh, you think so, huh?

You want break another record, go right ahead.

Then we will break your broken record.

Oh, it's on like a fat prawn.

Challenge accepted.

# Push-ups until the end

# Got to make it to the top. #

World record for press-ups with the mountain goats.

Broken. Boom.

Argh.

# Trying to break the record tonight. #

Mm-mm.

World record for staring at the cheese. Boom.

Hmm.

Extreme standing on the one leg on the bicycle spinning

hoops in an unusual way.

Broken.

Boom.

Argh.

So, what you want to lose at next, furry boys? Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, don't worry, we'll think of something to lose at.

-Uh, I mean, win at.

-Ha-ha-ha.

We need to come up with a seriously good challenge.

Hmm.

-Ha-ha-ha.

-Why are you running, dear?

I've done it.

Most lemons on a lemon tree. Ha-ha-ha.

Bravo. You deserve it after all your hard work.

Ah! Work.

Oh, call the official from The Book Of Amazingly Incredible World

Records and tell her I'll meet her here after work.

Oh.

Oh.

Is there anything on this planet

-that we could beat Abs and Pek at?

-Hmm.

O, Mighty Marshmallow Of Destiny, is there anything we can do?

Don't just be bitter about losing.

Be bitter about winning too.

Oh, somebody's got out of the wrong side of the pocket this morning.

Bitter!

Zag, there is one thing

that we might be able to beat Abs and Pek at.

I know their weakness.

Colour me interested.

They don't like lemonade.

I saw them go all squirmy when they drank it at the Jones's.

Their faces looked like this.

Perhaps there is a lemony juice joust-type world record

that needs a breaking. Hm-hm.

BOTH: Surpri...!

Well, where on earth are we going to get lots and lots of lemons?

-It's not like they grow on trees.

-Hmm.

Over there, over there.

-MICROPHONE SQUEALS

-Good afternoon, everyone.

You join us, here, in the back garden of Zogly Manor for a very

special event. Bob.

Thanks, Bob. Today's record-breaking attempt is the most lemons

sucked in a lemon-sucking session.

Argh.

-Hmm.

-Ha-ha.

SPLASH

Gentleman, start your lemons.

-Argh.

-Oh, oh, oh.

Mmm.

Ha-ha.

-Argh.

-Oh, oh, oh.

Ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha.

Whoever sucks one more lemon, breaks the world record.

Good luck, overly competitive Earth neighbour.

Oh, my elbow!

Ho-ho-hi-ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha.

Boom.

No-o-o-o-o!

Boo-hoo.

Sorry I couldn't see you earlier, I'd such a busy day at work.

But I think you'll be suitably impressed.

What?

No. Oh, ho-ho-ho.

Huh? "Dear Mr Jones, we have borrowed Cedric.

"Thanks muchly, Earth neighbour, Zig and Zag." Oh.

Aw, I mean, we almost had them that time.

Sorry about that, bro..

I really sucked though, didn't I? Ha-ha-ha.

You certainly did and to show you how proud I am,

I've made you your favourite desert.

Ah, mud pie! Ho-ho.

Yes, unfortunately, we've run out of chocolate

but not to worry, I used real mud instead.

-Now, that's clever.

-Hmm.

Go on, tuck in.

Ha-ha. Don't mind if I do, Captain Bakewell. Mmm.

I am fappy,

full and happy.

That was the... Ooh.

Can you save that for the bathroom, young man?

What's going on?

Oh, oh. I wonder

if it's something to do with your alien tummy,

the mud and the mud pie, mixed with the lemon pips that you must have

swallowed during the competition.

Do you think?!

What is going on, fluffy boys?

-Ha-ha.

-Ha-ha.

Zig, is your new name, Twig?

Hey, don't you dare pick on my stick.

I mean, brother.

Where's Cedric? Oh-ho-ho-ho.

Oh, bonsoir, Mr Jones.

Didn't you get our note?

Cedric. What have they done to you?

We just needed to borrow the lemon juice out of the lemons.

Other than that, Cedric's as good as new.

-Mmm.

-Eee.

Huh?

World record for the world's first ever squeezed lemon tree.

-Why, thank you.

-Mm-hm.

Result, Mr J. You're going to be in the book.

Ah, looks like I'm not the only one.

-Wow.

-What's it say? I can't read. I'm a tree.

It's a super special award for creating a brand-new

world record for becoming a tree.

Well done, bro.

Excuse me, can you put my brother's name in the record book too?

Aw, that's very thoughtful.

Well, it's, sort of, kind of, your fault.

So nice of you to say so.

Sweet. Our names are in a book.

BOTH: Boom.

Right, Mr Jones, how about we ask all the neighbours over for

a record-breaking celebration?

Oh, splendid idea.

And the drinks are on Zig.

Oi, keep your hands off my lemons.

Oh. Ho-ho-ho. Oh, that tickles. Stop. Ha-ha. Oh, cold hands. Oh...

# Five, four, three, two, one!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Five, four, three, two. Time for Zig and Zag! #