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Fanzillas Zig and Zag

Fanzillas

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# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...

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# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

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# Well, come along for the ride

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# You and me and Zig and Zag

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# When our weird worlds collide

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# It must seem a little mad

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# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it

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# Hold on tight cos no-one's drive, drive, driving

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# It's time to get on with it, not too late

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# Start counting Are your engines on? We can't wait

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# Count down, it's Zig and Zag time

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# Five, four, three, two

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# Time for Zig and Zag! #

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Ah, another glorious day on Earth, Zigmund.

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Hello, neighbourinos!

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What the zog? Where is everybody?

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And what's with all the purple flags?

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I think it's pretty obvious,

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the dreaded purple planet pirates have invaded Earth

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and taken all the humans with them!

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Oh, not the purple planet pirates.

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Just when we were getting to know everybody.

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All our friends, gone forever.

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And now we're all alone, on planet Earth.

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All alone on planet Earth? Does that mean what I think it means?

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If you think it means we can walk around in our underpants,

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and nobody will see us, then, yes, it does!

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BOTH: Whoop!

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CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

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I smell trouble, and it's coming from the Jones's house.

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THEY CHEER

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-Hy-ahh!

-Hy-ahh!

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-Huh? Ah.

-So, er, what are we watching?

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What do you mean, weird?

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I mean not bursting into the Jones's living room in your underpants.

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Hey, you were the ones dancing around in purple costumes.

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It's Burbia United's team colours. It's called being a football fan.

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-So, you're all football fans?

-Yeah.

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For the greatest team in the world, Burbia United.

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-CHANTING:

-United! United! United! United!

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ZIG AND ZAG JOIN IN: United! United!

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CHEERS INSIDE THE HOUSE

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Hmmm, so if football fans wear purple...

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Zag, what's going on in your noggin?

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This is it. I now know what I was born to do here on Earth.

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-Door-to-door soft cheese salesman?

-No! Burbia United needs me.

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I'm going to be their number one fan.

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And so am I.

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BOTH: Zog drop!

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UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS

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# Aahh! Hey! #

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BOTH: United! United! United!

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United! United! United!

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-Ah, hi, boys.

-Hey, Mr J. What brings you here?

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This is where I live. You're standing at my gate.

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I didn't know you were United fans.

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Who? Us? Are you kidding? We are Burbia United's number one fans.

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They are our favourite feet-ball team ever.

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-Don't you mean football?

-Sure, yeah, whatever.

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-So you'll be there tomorrow?

-Why? What's tomorrow?

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What's tomorrow? It's only the cup final!

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Burbia United haven't been in the final for 40 years.

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Eh? Of course we'll be there, we're their number one fans.

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I think my dad would have something to say about that, he always

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said he was Burbia United's number one fan.

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Last time United made it to the final he painted his house purple.

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R-eally?

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HE YAWNS

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HE SCREAMS

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Oh, no!

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ZIG AND ZAG: United! United! United! United!

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Whoo-hoo! Hey, Mr Jones.

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Now who's United's biggest fan?

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HE SIGHS

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ALL: United! United! United! United!

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Mrs Eyebrows, would you like me to paint you purple for the final?

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No, thank you, Zig. I'm more of a lawn bowling lady.

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We're having our championship game tomorrow.

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Mr President, out of the way! Shoo! Get out!

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-Cool!

-All right, everyone, let's go.

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ALL: United! United! United!

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-ZAG: Laters, Mrs Eyebrows.

-See you, Mrs E. Later, Mr President.

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ALL: United! United! United!

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Come on, United!

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Everybody ready?

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Oh, oh, just a mo.

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I hope you two know what you're doing.

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Absolutely, we've been up all night watching matches.

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We've got it all figured out.

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-Let's do this!

-United! United!

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Pardon me. Step aside.

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-Number one fans coming through.

-Hurry up, the match has started.

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Calm down, Mr J, good things come to those who wait.

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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-STADIUM ANNOUNCER:

-Goal for City!

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Oops!

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ZIG SLURPS

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Ha! Call that a flag?

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Aha!

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-I can't see!

-CROWD CHEERS

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'Goal for United!'

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Wow, what a goal!

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I can't believe you guys missed that(!)

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ZIG SLURPS

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These two are ruining the match.

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At least we're not losing. We're only one goal away from the cup.

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Nellie's right, come on, everybody.

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ALL: United! United! United! United! United! United!

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Burbia! Burbia! Burbia!

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ALL: Burbia! Burbia!

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I have to go to the loo!

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-What?

-I said I have to go to the loo!

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ALL: To the loo! To the loo! To the...

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Oh, yeah!

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Could you not do that in my ear? It's very loud.

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Whatever you say, Mr J.

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Ah!

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BLOWS HORN

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Putting it away, Mr J!

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What is wrong with you?

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Sorry, what?

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It's too loud.

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I can't hear a word you're saying, this drum is too loud.

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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Oh, the queue for the loo is so long.

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Get a move on!

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I don't want to miss any of the game.

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Me and my bro are United's number one fans.

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Is that Zig on the pitch?

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He's joined the team. Now, that's a true fan.

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Go, Zig!

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Yoo-hoo! Coo-ee!

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Huh?

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OK. Who threw this?

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-WHISTLE BLOWS

-Oh! Ref, come on. Seriously?

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Oh, I don't believe this.

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United are being penalised for that handball. It's a penalty for City.

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Oh, there's only 30 seconds to go. If City score...

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It will be all over!

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Put the drum down!

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Whatever you say, Mr J!

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-STADIUM ANNOUNCER:

-'Gooooooal!'

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HUBBUB

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It's over?

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But I didn't even get to use my confetti cannon.

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Ah, well,

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you know what they say about sport. It's not the winning

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that matters, it's the taking part, right?

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ALL: Wrong!

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Sorry I was so long. Took for ever to find the loo.

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Then I got myself another giant slurp.

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-Oh, I think I have to go to the loo again.

-Let's get out of here!

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But first, time for some celebration confetti!

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COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING

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Hi, Von Pumpinirons.

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What do you say, Mr J?

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Oh, everybody still seems super mad at us about the football game.

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What do you expect? Thanks to you two, Burbia lost the cup.

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-There's always next season.

-Oh, no.

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Your days as Burbia United fans are over.

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Find something else to support if you have to,

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just stay away from football.

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-Oh, off you go.

-Hmm.

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I have an ingenious idea.

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-Oh!

-How unfortunate.

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It would seem the pressure has got to you, Mrs Eyebrows.

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Now, allow me to show you how it's done.

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Looks like it's all over, Mr President.

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-HORN BLOWS

-Oh, I say!

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ZIG AND ZAG: You bow, we all bow to Mrs Eyebrows.

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We're your number one fans, Mrs Eyebrows. Go, girlfriend!

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Oh, I say.

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That's absolutely preposterous.

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-Yes! In your face, Derek!

-Oh, I say.

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And I owe it all to my fans! Yee-hah!

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WHOOPS AND CHEERS

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CHANTING: I bow, you bow, we all bow, to Mrs Eyebrows. Whoo-hoo!

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# Five, four, three, two, one...

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# Five, four, three, two

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# Time for Zig and Zag. #

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