It Came from Zog Zig and Zag

# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...

# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Well, come along for the ride

# You and me and Zig and Zag

# When our weird worlds collide

# It may seem a little mad

# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it

# Hold on tight cos no-one's drive, drive, driving

# It's time to get on with it Not too late

# Start counting Are your engines on? We can't wait

# Count down, it's Zig and Zag time

# Five, four, three, two

# Time for Zig and Zag! #

-RADIO CRACKLES

-Venus! Get a load of us.

What? 162 million miles from Earth and no welcome party?

Ain't nothing here but dust and gas.

CREATURE ROARS

SCREAMING

Oh, boring.

Wake me up when it's over.

-ZAG SNORES

-'When they invited us for dinner,

'I didn't know we were the main course.'

Wait a minute! I think we're out of popcorn.

ALL SCREAM

-Oh, boring.

-Oh, hi, Ziggy-pop-love-angel.

-Hi, Nellie.

-Ah, good evening, Miss Nellington.

I trust this season finds you in clement.

Uh, hi, what's-his-name.

-Hey, wasn't Martians From Venus great?

-Yeah...

It's awful! Every time we've seen it,

we spot something else that is completely wrong.

-For instance, Venus is

-161

-million miles from Earth, not

-162.

And Venusian monsters have six buttocks, not four.

Oh, I mean it really is, as you say on Earth, pants.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going back in to see it

for the 115th time.

If it's so terrible then why do you keep going back to see it?

Because they're giving away free popcorn

-with every ticket.

-Yeah!

But you do know that you can BUY popcorn, right?

Then it wouldn't be free.

But you have to buy a ticket to get the popcorn.

Yes, but the popcorn is FREE.

Look, why don't you at least go to a movie that you like?

Unfortunately, there isn't one, Nellie.

Oh! We could try Girls Who Love Shoes 5 again.

Or...maybe not.

ZAG SIGHS

Thank you, thank you.

A-ha!

See? It's free!

Something Nellie said has got me thinking,

and right now, I'm having an ingenious idea.

Oh! We should build a boat from egg boxes

and set sail to discover America?

Er, no, Zigmund.

No more shall we sit through this rubbish for free popcorn!

Sit down!

Not if we make our own brilliant movie!

BOTH: ZOGDROP!

ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS

Sir, shouldn't we go after them?

Probably, Honey, but...

What's that shadow behind the captain?

THEY SCREAM

-Two bowls of ice cream, coming up!

-Wait,

you nearly forgot the sausages.

-So, what's our brilliant movie going to be about?

-I'm not sure yet.

What about a movie about ants?

-No.

-Bananas?

-No.

-Cats?

-No.

-Dentists?

No - you're going the whole way through the alphabet, aren't you?

Earwax? Fungus? Glockenspiels...?

X-rays? Yaks? Z...

What begins with Z?

Eh, Zig and Zag?

That's it!

Earthlings love movies about aliens -

we'll make a movie all about us.

A proper movie about aliens,

not like that Martians From Venus nonsense.

And we shall call it...

The Greatest Movie Ever Made About Aliens Called Zig And Zag,

Who Are Coo-el And Stuff, And Things That They Do,

And Jokes And Brilliant Stuff That They Do...

And More Stuff, And Action...

..And Explosions!

I LOVE it!

Oh, hi, guys, what are you up to?

-MEGAPHONE: We're making a movie.

-Oh!

Sorry. Just getting into the movie-making magic.

Could you place this flyer on your notice board?

"Do you want to be in the greatest movie ever made,

"filming today at Zogly Manor?"

-Say that again.

-What?

Read for me, darling.

Uh..."Do you want to be in the greatest movie ever made,

"filming today at Zogly Manor?"

-I hope you got that.

-Got it.

I believe we've found our leading lady.

I didn't know you were an actress, Nellie.

I'm not.

You're right, you're not.

You're a star!

I...

-Yeah, looking good from here.

-Ha-ha, yeah, yeah.

CRASHING NOISE

Coo-el.

Clean-up on aisle three, please. Clean-up on aisle three.

-So, what now, bro?

-We need to round up all the neighbours.

They're going to be part of our explosive alien action!

Did you hear that, Honey? It's invasion day!

Are you sure, sir?

One's dressed like a film director, the other has a camera.

Couldn't it just be they're filming explosive alien action?

That's exactly what they want you to think.

Huh? Argh...!

It's begun...it's begun!

No, it's just the bin truck, sir.

Oh...!

Ha...oh...

Ah, good after-day, Mr Jones! We bid you pleasantries.

We're looking for a set builder, props maker extraordi-noodle.

An expert putting-together-type-things-person,

for a super blockbuster explosive action movie

being shot right here in Burbia.

-Well, I am quite handy.

-Yeah, he's got two.

-I built this.

-Oh, whoa!

That's like the Eiffel Bridge of garden buildings.

Whoa. Zigmund, I think we've just found

our expert movie set-building prop-master

-special effects extraordi-noodle.

-Oh - ha-ha!

Next on our list, an expert cook. Someone with flare in the kitchen

who doesn't mind cooking for lots of people on a movie set.

You mean a hostess with the toastess!

Where would we find one of them?

Coo-ee, boys.

A-ha!

Now to find two incredible actors

that could play a pair of dashing intergalactic alien heroes.

THEY GASP

Well, there are two of them.

Hmm...all right.

Great audition, guys. You're hired.

If you are looking for strong, muscly-type stunt people

for epic action blockbuster movie,

then we could do it.

Ha! Looks like we've got the greatest stunt doubles

in the movie biz.

-Ah, well...

-Yes...

But Zag, where are we going to find a specialist animal wrangler

at such short notice?

Hmm, and one with an amazing pet actor to play

the important role of Solar Kitty?

I really don't know, bro.

-Oh, hello.

-Huh?

BELL RINGS All right, everyone,

time for some movie-making magic.

This is the story of two brave aliens from the planet Zog

and their incredible journey to Earth.

I'm a bit embarrassed wearing this outfit.

Don't worry, Mr Jones. It's a special effects green suit.

-You'll disappear on camera.

-Ooh.

Can we get one of those for Mr President?

Right... All right, people, places!

Let's make the greatest movie ever made.

I mean, how hard can it be?

Action!

TYRES SCREECH

BANGING AND SCREAMING

ENGINE REVS

We're too late, Honey.

The invasion has already begun!

I was wrong - they weren't harmless cute and cuddly aliens after all.

BOOM!

THEY GASP

A-a-a-and...cut!

Well done, everyone. Terrific stuff.

Oh, I can already smell the popcorn.

Don't you think it was a bit...random?

Random is my middle name.

I thought that was Hillary.

This is it, Honey. We have to stop this invasion now!

No more stalling, it's down to us.

-I'm ready, sir.

-ENGINE REVS

TYRES SCREECH Huh?

Hey, alien slime!

Throw down your weapons.

This invasion is over.

Now, make a hasty retreat

to whatever foul galaxy you've come from.

-Ha-ha...

-Oh, er... Whoops...

Sorry, I...uh...

Cut! Great scene, guys.

I have no idea who you are, and it's not in the script,

but I like your improvisation.

And that's a wrap!

My brother and I would like to thank

all our neighbourinos on Burb Street,

and those two strangers,

for helping make this incredible movie.

Thanks, guys!

And remember, you can come back and see it as many times as you want!

Free popcorn with every ticket.

'Our heroes, Zig and Zag,

-'on their home planet Zog...'

-'Deeper.'

-VOICE DEEPENS:

-'..are about to embark

'on a perilous journey to Earth.

'Oh, that's hurting my throat.'

'All right, Mr Jones.

'This is when our spaceship crash-lands on Earth.'

'Are you sure they can't see me in this silly green outfit?'

-'Yep. Sound effects, Mr Jones.'

-'What? Oh, er...'

'Whoosh! Beep-beep!'

'Solar Kitty? Has anyone seen Solar Kitty?'

'Er...go on.'

'Super, great cat action. Thanks.'

Oh, they completely missed you, Mr President.

'Stunt doubles, please!

'Nice job, Mr Jones.

'Those rocket packs look like the real thing.'

'Oh, no, I didn't make them.'

'I just thought real rocket packs looked, well, you know, more real.'

SCREAMING

AUDIENCE GROANS

SHE SCREAMS

'Oh, yes. And, cut!'

Oh, no.

THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY

Oh, how embarrassing.

'And then, Zig and Zag said, "We're going to make Earth our new home."'

Thank you, thank...

Where is everyone?

You know what this means, Zag?

That we're really bad movie-makers?

Nah!

More free popcorn for us!

Let's get munching, bro.

We'll need our energy for tomorrow...

to shoot our next movie!

You mean The Greatest Movie Ever

Made About Aliens Called Zig And Zag,

Who Are Coo-el And Stuff And Things That They Do And Jokes

And Brilliant Stuff That They Do And More Stuff And Action

And Explosions TWO?

BOTH: Yeah!

# Five, four, three, two...

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Five, four, three, two

# That was Zig and Zag! #