Strictly Zig & Zag Zig and Zag

# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...

# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Well, come along for the ride

# You and me and Zig and Zag

# When our weird worlds collide

# It may seem a little mad

# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it

# Hold on tight no-one's drive, drive, driving

# It's time to get on with it, not too late

# Start counting, are your engines on? We can't wait

# Count down it's Zig and Zag time

# Five, four, three, two,

# Time for Zig and Zag! #

Oh, breakfast bap of delight. How I do love thee.

Bon aperitif, Zig.

And I'll get me pair o' teeth round this side.

BOTH LAUGH

You know, I can't help feeling that was partly my fault.

Chill your zogabongs, breakfast bap buddy.

I've got just the job for stubborn stains.

Ah, there's the little beauty.

Cosmic Clean, the extra-strong, extra-terrestrial cleaning

spray! Removes all known germs and stains in the universe.

Oh. Warning - use sparingly.

Aaah!

-It's Abs!

-In the bathroom!

SINGING

BOTH SCREAM

Fill the hole, fill the hole. We've got to fill the hole!

With what? With what?

To the mini-mart, bro, and straight to the hole-filling aisle.

BALLROOM MUSIC

-Do you notice anything differenty this morning, Zig?

-Ooh.

-This is odder than on odderpus.

-I'm scared. What's going on?

Let's get out of here.

And one two three, one two three... That's it, Dad. You've got it.

-I can't hold it in any longer, Zag.

-Let it out, Zig. Let it out.

Why is everybody dancing?!

Oh. Hi, cutesy cutesy dream boy.

Hi, What'syourname. We're practising for the dance marathon tonight.

-A dance marathon, wow!

-That sounds greattastic, Miss Nellie.

BOTH: What's a dance marathon?

It's a contest, where everyone dances for as long as they can,

and the last couple still dancing at the end wins.

Can you two dance?

Ha-ha-ha, can we dance?! My middle name is Bossa Nova.

I thought it was Hillary?

-Of course we can dance.

-Yeah, girlfriend!

You might have a chance of winning the trophy, then.

Look, the Von Pumpinirons won it last year.

-Hmmm.

-Oooh.

Aha! I have an ingenious idea.

-We should get a bucking bronco for the garden!

-No.

Every furry fibre tells me that that trophy would be the perfect

fit for the hole in the wall.

-But let's be sure-ago-go.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Oh.

Hee-hee!

Aaah!

This darkroom's too dark.

Yoo-hoo!

WHISTLES

Oooh, perfect fit!

Let's get our dancing shoes on, Ziggy Boy.

# Von Pumpinirons are gonna lose this time

# Cos we need to fill that hole in the wall

-I'm... Aw, can I go first next time?

-Ziggy break. Ooh!

Drum and bass break!

ZIG BEATBOXING

Warning - vehicle reversing.

Can't stop, boys.

I've got to get home and make a tutu for Mr President.

-Ooh, ha-ha!

-See you, Mrs Eyebrows.

Now, why would alien slime want to take part in a dance contest?

They've got terrific rhythm, sir.

Well, they're up to something, Honey, and that dance contest might

be the perfect excuse to get up close and personal.

No, no, bad dog! Bad dog!

DRUM AND BASS MUSIC

Ha! Those puny furballs will never beat us, not if they can't practice.

BOTH LAUGH

BALLROOM MUSIC OBSCURES DRUM AND BASS

-Hey!

-Hmph!

BOTH LAUGH

DRUM AND BASS OBSCURES BALLROOM MUSIC

MUSIC FADES

Oh dear, it's such a shame that our partners have dropped

out of the dance marathon tonight.

Oh, I'll so miss being held in big manly arms.

Oh, if only we could find two strong handsome specimens to dance with us.

Hmmm, some ladies in distress.

-Zigmeister, I've had another ingenious idea.

-Two in one day?

-That's amazing!

-Let's dance with one each.

-What? Who when why what?

It's brilliant. Think about it, bro.

With a partner each, we'll double our chances of winning the trophy.

And we can fill the hole in the wall,

and never have to see the Von Pumpinirons in the bathroom again.

BOTH: Zog Drop!

HAKA STYLE MUSIC

Let's do it! But you do the talking.

Au contraire, lady madames,

-may we have the pleasure of this next dance?

-Oh, how charming, yes.

Shall we start with a little salsa?

We can eat later. Let's get our wiggle on.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

In fact, anyone who's got a dance partner.

I'm Cheesy MC, and it's time for Burbia's dance marathon!

Let's move it, groove it, and smooth it.

Oh, doesn't Mr President look dapper in his little tutu?

Selfie time!

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

I must say, you look absolutely enchanting, mon petite baguette.

BOTH LAUGH SHYLY

And remember, it's the last couple dancing who'll win the trophy.

Are you ready to get your dance on?

May I have the pleasure of this dance, mon chapeau?

Are you taking my fingerprints?

-It's just so I can remember how you held my hand.

-Oh, naturelle.

-Huh?

-It's so I can remember how tall and handsome you are.

Oh, Champs-Elysees.

And this is so I can remember my arms around your waist.

Oh, this is Yawnsville, Zag. I haven't done one robot move.

-Wish me and you could dance together.

-You know what, Ziggy Boy?

You're right. We need to get our freaky freak on.

These ladies are duds, and we've

got to get our hands on that hole-filling trophy, remember.

Let's grin it, spin it, and win it.

Once we've got that trophy, Zigster, it's mission accomplished.

I knew this was part of the alien mission!

We've got to stop them from getting that trophy. Psst, Honey!

-I need you.

-Psst, Zag, let's switch.

BOTH: You're not the one that I want!

-Let's get roboting to trophy triumph.

-Affirmative.

Honey, we have to stop them getting that trophy,

and completing their dastardly mission.

Da da da da... Oh! Oh!

If it's a dance-off you're

looking for, you've come to the right place right now.

-Bring it, Mister Sister.

-Yeah, boii.

Remember, it's last couple dancing that takes the trophy home.

Clean up on aisle three, please. Clean up on aisle three.

Ooh, it's getting hot in here.

Oh, niet.

What? Huh? Pek, come back. Come back!

Ha-ha, clip clop! But who's next to drop?

Got to...stop them...winning...the...trophy.

Got...to...fill...the...hole... in...the...wall.

SCREAMING

Ooh, it looks like it's all over for Zig and Zag...

But wait, they're still dancing!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha! The trophy is ours!

Oh, dear! Looks like Abs and Pek and the two strange ladies are out.

I think you'll find the trophy is ours. Woo!

Yes, Zig and Zag are still dancing!

Wrap that silver up, we're taking it home.

But wait a second, the winners of this year's dance marathon -

Mrs Eyebrows and Mr President!

Come on, no fairsies.

Yee-haw!

I must say, it was nice of them to give us

the glitter ball as second prize.

Yeah, it's glittery and bally. Just a shame it's not hole-fixy.

Oh, I am so sweaty after all that dancing,

I need a shower to get cleaner.

SCREAMING

Wait a second, I've just had an ingenious idea!

Three times in one day? That's threerrific.

-We just need to get cleaner, too.

-Huh?

Cosmic Cleaner. Warning - use sparingly. Not today, sister.

Yay!

# Five, four, three, two...

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Hey! Hey! Hey!

# Five, four, three, two,

# That was Zig and Zag! #