Running On Empty Doctors

Morning, gorgeous.

-Sleep all right?

-Might have been more comfortable in bed.

Can't blame a guy for trying!

You want to hop in for a bit?

I need to crack on. You want anything else?

Like some toast.

Easy does it, son. One step at a time.

We've got you.

-Ahh! Careful!

-Oh, sorry!

It's all right, I'm just still a bit sore.

If there's something I should know about.

Something I could do.

Some other...problem.

I said not now. I've got a manic day. I can't talk about it.

Maybe tonight, then?

C'mon, work with me here.

Is that all you want me for?

Oh, please. We've been together a month. If that's all I was after, we wouldn't have lasted a week.

I know.

It's complicated. Just...

-Just be patient.

-Fine. Just not too long though, eh?

'As you flow deeper into your inner soul,

'picture yourself taking the rock of guilt and casting it aside.

'See it shatter into tiny pieces as you feel yourself

'released from the burden of responsibility.

'Absorb the feeling of freedom as you address your inner mind

'and declare, "It's not my fault.

' "It's not my fault." '

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault. It's not my fault.

Hey! Look out!

Are you serious?

When will you know for sure?

Yeah?

But you would consider it?

How exciting!

Why don't I check out the housing market here?

Well, I'll dip my toe in, in case.

That's what mother-in-laws are for, aren't they?

Listen, sweetie, I've got to go,

but keep in touch, will you? All right, love.

Bye-bye!

What do you think that is, you stupid cow?! You could have killed me.

It was an accident. What can I say?

Lady, do us all a favour and next time, keep to your side of the path!

-Fancy a top-up?

-Yeah, please.

He'll be right as rain in no time, won't you, son?

Right as rain? He nearly drowned! In a coma for days!

When I think what that madman did to you,

how close he came to...

-It doesn't bear thinking about.

-I'll get off.

You going to work?

It's how we pay the bills.

Unless you really want me to stay.

You're all right. Think I've got all the protection I need here.

You can say that again. I won't let you out of my sight.

-There you go. See you later!

-When I think of what he did to you.

If I ever get my hands...

Any chance of something to eat?

Course! You must be starving. What do you fancy?

Bacon sarnie'd be great.

Mum, I was thinking, once I'm back on my feet again,

-how would you feel about me sticking round a bit longer?

-Stay as long as you like.

I was thinking maybe a year.

I'm going to have my baby back again! Sorry. White bread or brown?

White, please.

-Plenty of ketchup!

-OK!

PHONE RINGS

Campus Surgery, can I help you?

Elaine, only me. Bad news. Haven't been able to find an HCA to cover for Karen.

-You'll have to manage on your own.

-Great.

-Not completely on your own. Temp arrives in a minute.

She'll be a big help(!)

Good. If you've got any problems, then just call me, OK.

Don't worry. I'll cope. I see you've found the kitchen.

Danny's off sick, you're covering.

Campus Surgery?

PHONE RINGS

# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

# And don't it feel good? Hey! All right now

# And don't it feel good? Hey! Yeah! #

If she does get this head teacher job, they'll have to move quickly.

-Bet Grandma's looking forward to that.

-She is.

Trips to the park. Sunday lunches. Lots of baby-sitting...

I know, can't wait!

-I've offered to be head house-hunter for them.

-You having much luck?

Yes. There's loads of good stuff out there for them. This is a good time to buy.

KNOCK AT THE DOOR Come in.

You all right?

Yes... Sorry. I wasn't expecting...

Your receptionist said to come straight through.

Anne-Marie, is it? Please take a seat.

Do we have to watch this?

Hey! I was watching that!

Honestly, can't I leave you two alone for five minutes?

-Imogen give your brother some peace and quiet, please.

-But...

Chicken soup. Put hairs on your chest.

Hang on a sec.

-That's radiation. It's bad for you.

-Just need to see who's about.

You're not up to having visitors. Not yet.

I can manage.

Aw, are you a bit achy?

No, just bored, that's all.

Need some intellectual stimulation.

-Thanks a lot.

-Where are you going?

-Lisa's. I know when I'm not wanted.

If you want to be useful you could go to halls

-and pick some stuff up.

-What did your last slave die of?

Sure. No problem. What can I get you?

My laptop, for starters.

Maybe a few books. And...

-Don't push your luck.

-Don't be late. I'm planning an early dinner.

Shepherd's pie, your favourite.

Apple crumble for afters.

-Going to be just like old times.

-Can't wait.

-Have you got your phone on you?

-Course.

-Keep it switched on.

-Text me when you get there.

-Yes, Mum.

And does the pain occur throughout your cycle or just with your period?

-Usually around the time I'm due.

-And how about during intercourse?

-Nothing to speak of.

When urinating?

OK.

And you don't have an IUD fitted.

Are you in a relationship right now?

Sort of. It's still early days.

Are you having unprotected sex?

Um... No.

-Not yet.

-OK.

If you wouldn't mind hopping on to the bed?

Why? What are you going to do?

-We need to have a look.

-I don't want to have an internal.

-It's nothing to worry about, just check there's nothing going on.

-Like what?

-You may have an infection.

-I haven't. I swear.

Won't take a sec.

Is there no other way?

Not that I know of.

Look, I'm really not interested in what you've been up to.

Everything in here is between us. But the sooner we find what's causing the pain and bleeding,

-the sooner we can deal with it.

-But...I'm a virgin.

No problem. Why didn't you just say?

Remember that time you had the measles?

We were tucked up on the sofa for a fortnight. You, me and Mr Roo.

Mr Roo. Whatever happened to him?

Still got him upstairs.

I can dig him out if you want.

-Nah, you're all right.

-What's wrong? Where are you going?

For a wazz. All that tea, it's going right through me.

I'll give you a hand, just give me a shout if you need me.

You said that wouldn't hurt.

What am I going to be like with the real thing?

That'll be completely different.

Better be. I've been hanging around for this perfect prince to come along. Silly, I know...

-It's been a long wait.

-But now you've found him.

I think so, finally. Except there's this big deal that's going to spoil everything.

Doesn't have to. If you're relaxed and with someone you care about.

I'm not some wide-eyed teenager who can fumble her way through this.

I'm nearly 30! Good job, own flat.

He'll expect me to know exactly what I'm doing.

How's it ever going to be special when I'm so...

terrified?

It's always a bit awkward at first.

Awkward? Total let-down in my case.

Serves me right. For being so fussy.

-If you're worried about it, talk to him. Share the experience.

-How embarrassing is that?

Sorry mate, you want the good news? You get to take the fair maiden.

The downside? She's a lousy lay. Won't see him for dust.

I'm sure it won't be like that. He sounds lovely.

I'm sure he'll understand.

Not you.

Hello again. How's your bike?

Is that all you've got for me?

No, they should all be... logged and ready.

But it would appear someone's gone for a cappuccino.

I just need to double-check...

Sorry about that. One of those days.

Oops, and one more.

The results should be ready in a few days

if you would like to come back...

-Rick!

-What are you doing here?

-What's it look like? It's the doctors, isn't it?

-Thought you were busy.

-Busy having a check-up.

-Anything serious?

-Nothing for you to worry about.

-You two know each other?

-Rick is...my boyfriend.

-Oh! I see.

-Rick?

What's going on? Wait!

-Jack!

-Mum, what are you doing, you crazy woman!

Mum, you've lost it.

How can you deny it? I saw you with him.

-Who?

-Flash git in a suit. Corner of Stratton Street. This morning.

-My brother, if you must know.

-Thought he lived in Manchester.

-You really don't trust me, do you?

-Don't like being taken for a fool.

-What's going on here? Is he threatening you?

-He's just flipped.

-Got some stupid idea.

-She's been cheating on me.

-Really?

Every time I try to get close to you, you push me away. Yet Mr Suit and Tie With a Briefcase?

No holding back there!

-Sorry, but I forgot this one.

-You won't even let me explain, will you?

-You've had plenty of time.

It's been over a month and I've waited and waited.

And all the time you've been carrying on with somebody else. Who hasn't had to wait.

-Now you've been caught out. Been given a little something.

-What?

-I swear to God, I have not been with anyone else...

-Ow!

Where'd you get it then? It sure as hell wasn't me.

-You pig.

-Get off me, woman!

-For goodness sake!

-Don't "woman" me!

Are you completely ignorant? You need to have had sex to catch a sexually transmitted infection.

-You saying she's a virgin?

-I am so sorry.

Thanks a lot, Doctor Cassidy.

-You could have told me.

-I never meant to...

Why don't you both come inside and talk this through?

Haven't you done enough?

Thanks.

You've been a big help.

Taa-daa!

What's this?

Five bedrooms, two bathrooms, one en suite,

decorated in contemporary colours,

located in one of Letherbridge's finest avenues,

just a stone's throw from the park.

Yeah, and?

Might be worth a look.

-Are you joking? When have we got time to go house hunting?

-I thought, maybe tomorrow?

Jimmi, we are either getting married, or we are buying a house.

-And after last time...

-I know. But things are different now.

-No reason why we can't...you know, have our own little love nest.

-I can't do two things at once.

-Supposed to be a good time right now.

-Not for us it isn't.

OK.

Right. Just would've been nice.

To be married, in a new house.

Just you and me. No ghosts.

It was just a thought.

This looks amazing.

Don't you think it's a bit much?

Not if you're both up for it...

which you clearly aren't.

You were all over the idea a couple of months ago.

-We're getting married!

-So? What happened to multitasking?

And this looks lovely.

Your gateway to porn.

-Thanks.

-Book you're supposed to be reading.

What you're actually reading.

And something to drown out Mum's constant interruptions.

Ja-ack! Custard or cream with your crumble?

Custard, please.

What? I like custard.

She can't keep this up for long, can she?

You reckon? Now Mother Hen's got her chicks back she won't be letting go any time soon.

Thank you, Dr Freud. If Harrison couldn't finish me off, don't think she will.

-Don't say stuff like that.

-What, she can't kill me with kindness!

Can't she?

'Thanks for popping back.'

What's this all about? Have you had my results back?

Actually, I wanted to apologise.

I feel terrible about what I said today in front of Rick.

-I had no right.

-It certainly didn't help.

I know. It was unforgivable.

"Everything's just between us." That's what you said.

-Is that just some ruse, to get patients to reveal their secrets?

-I know, I know.

It just hasn't been a great day I'm afraid.

We're under-staffed, and I've been under a lot of pressure.

-You're covering your own back?

-Not at all! I just don't want...

Scared I'm going to make a complaint?

Hopefully not, it was a silly mistake.

Making me undergo an invasive examination. That can't be right.

You had symptoms. I had a duty to check them out.

-You didn't have to shout them from the rooftops.

-That was Rick.

Maybe if you'd been honest with him, he wouldn't have...

-So, you're saying it's my fault?

-No!

But you're a grown woman. You should be able to tell your own boyfriend how you feel.

-Unless of course he's been threatening you in some way...

-No!

What is your problem? Rick's a really nice guy.

-Then why are we even having this conversation? Look, do you want to be with him or not?

-Yes!

-But I'm scared of getting it wrong.

-Then tell him.

Explain why you've been holding back.

You'll find out pretty soon what kind of a guy he really is.

Have you been following me?

-Yes. I just want to ex...

-Pathetic.

-Something smells good...

-Maternal instinct. This place reeks of it.

-How long do you think it'll last?

-How about a lifetime? You're nuts moving back in here.

Can't see it being that much different to halls.

Except your laundry's thrown in. The food's better. Way cheaper.

Have you completely forgotten what it's like? Mum'll be waking you up

-every single morning before she goes to work to make sure you have a proper breakfast.

-But...

Dinner on the table at six. And forget girlfriends.

As soon as they walk through the door she'll be trying to find out what their dad does.

Bye- bye life. Still...like you say, at least it'll be cheap.

Oh, no... She's friending me!

SHE GIGGLES

-No escaping now!

-Yeah? That's what you think.

I think it's about time we took back some control...

Not you again.

I'd like to make it up to you.

Believe it or not I'm trained in this sort of thing.

-Really?

-Difficult to believe, I know.

I'm supposed to make people better.

Not managed very well today, have I?

This morning, I had a great girlfriend.

A chance for a proper future.

Now she's not even speaking to me. All because of you.

I'm not sure it's entirely my fault. You could have been a bit more sensitive.

-Trusted her, instead of jumping to conclusions.

-I was scared of losing her!

There's not many girls like Anne-Marie out there.

I get her. And she gets me.

Well, that's great. But what are you telling me for?

If that's how you feel, why don't you tell her? Get her flowers.

That's it? Take her some flowers?!

And talk to her.

You are a genius. Cos I would never have thought of that(!)

No questions asked? They'll never go for that...

That's the art of negotiating. You ask for the moon,

then settle somewhere in between.

You want the fire on?

No, Mum, we're fine.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

I've read about that boomerang generation.

Never dreamed my own kids would be part of it.

I'm thrilled!

Right, that bit about mates coming to stay is going straight back in.

So, I've been thinking, about what I...we both want.

-And you're right. We do need to start again.

-Seriously?

So...I called the estate agent. Booked an appointment.

See? I knew you'd come round.

It was the seventy-foot garden that swung it.

So...

two of the biggest stresses at the same time.

-Bring it on!

-Piece of cake.

I better get a quick apology in now. Just in case.

What for?

Not going to be easy, is it, planning a wedding and buying a house?

Things are going to get stressful round me. Just so you realise that...

It's a wedding. It's not London 2012.

Shows what you know.

We've got to think about the invitations.

The flowers, cake, the table favours, horse and carriage...

What?

Very funny! You got me.

Then there's my mother.

What's she got to do with it?

You really have no idea, do you?

What's that?

I just wanted to say,

how great it is to have us all round the table again.

It's been a rough few weeks, but we've got through it

and, Jack,

it's just great to have you back where you belong.

So, I'd like to propose a toast. To the Hollins family.

TOGETHER: The Hollins family.

Was that something you were going to show us?

-Probably not the right time...

-No time like the present.

What is it?

It's a family contract?

What do we want one of those for?

Just a few guidelines so we all know what to expect from each other.

-But contracts are for strangers who don't trust each other.

-It was one of Elaine's ideas.

At family therapy. You thought it was a good idea, then.

You have got to be kidding.

Just wanted the chance to apologise and prove I'm not a complete idiot.

And I want you to know I'm not a complete prude.

-I swear to God, there's nobody else.

-I know.

That was stupid.

But there is something else. A women's thing.

Not sexual, but quite painful.

-Which is why...

-I don't need to know.

But all the more reason for us to take things slowly.

Till it's sorted.

In the meantime I don't see why we can't...

I want it to be special. For both of us.

-But I don't want to lose you.

-You're not going to lose me, babe.

-But I thought...

-Now who's being stupid?

Come here.

We're going to start again.

Take things slow.

My name's Rick,

I'm a bike courier, my favourite colour is blue

and I'm allergic to prawns.

Hello, Rick.

Very pleased to meet you.

-Mum, don't take this the wrong way.

-How is she supposed take it?

You've only been back five minutes and you're laying down the law!

I'm just making perfectly reasonable requests.

"I reserve the right to keep the hours I choose." What does that really mean?

-I can stay in bed all day?

-I think you'll find that some nights I'm up till 4am working on assignments.

"I will not be required to attend all family meals." That's what being a family's about. Eating together.

-Mum, I'm 21. Don't need fussing over.

-But I'm your mum. It's my job!

-Consider yourself part-time from now on.

-Don't be cheeky! After all your mum's done for you.

-And you're very quiet, young lady.

-I'd just like to be able to come

-and go as without asking permission.

-Not having you out all hours.

-Fine. I'll have friends to stay over.

-Boyfriends? No way.

I knew this was a waste of time.

Why don't I make some coffee?

This is so unnecessary.

I'll tell you what. Since we're all sat round this table together,

why don't we make this work?

You know what, we can make this work..

-Glad you see it our way.

-Your mum and I will want to put a few of our own clauses

-into the contract.

-Hang on.

-What did you have in mind?

-How about for starters, you replace all the beers you 'borrow' from the fridge.

-What?!

-Immie, you promise to spend no more than ten minutes in the bathroom in the morning.

-But...

-What about my hair?

-I've only just started.

-Dad.

We just want fair and equal treatment.

Fair and equal treatment?!

I'll tell you what's fair and equal,

that you contribute towards household costs.

Because you eat us out of house and home.

-We can manage.

-How much?

-How does 50 quid a week sound?

-No way!

-What?!

-That's a bargain,

have you seen the price of food? Naturally,

-it will be all inflation-linked.

-This is so unfair!

DOOR SQUEAKS

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Sorry, I lost track of the time.

Won't be long and I'll be out of your way.

Can I just remind you how lucky we are to even be here?

Can we just have one meal together without all this bickering?

Just for once.

Here's to getting on just fine.

ALL: To getting on just fine.

The next time you think about drawing up a contract, you run it by me first.

-Why?

-As head of the household, I reserve the right to approve everything.

-I don't believe this.

-Outrageous.

-My roof, my rules.

What a surprise, I told you this wouldn't work.

-If you'd left the talking to me, instead of winding him up...

-You said to negotiate hard.

Why should I negotiate? Who pays the mortgage round here?

-That doesn't give you the right to control our lives.

-It's so unfair.

I'll give you unfair... You can pay your own rent!

-It's you!

-I can explain that. It was all a mistake.

Leave me alone! Get away from me.

-Albert?

-Oh, no.

Albert?

You have no patients.

-They have cancelled.

-All of them?

-One shout and I'll call security.

-For what? Taking what's mine?

For abusing your granddad.

But if we don't do something this problem could turn into a crisis.

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