The Driving Seat Doctors

Ooh! THEY LAUGH

I need to get ready.

You don't have to whisper, love. He's not here.

Oh, sorry, that was well out of order.

I tell you what, I don't have a shift today, so, er...

why don't you pull a sickie and we'll drive out to Stratford?

Lunch at that pub you like, by the river?

Then...

stay here and take it easy. Hmm?

Helen?

I just want to look after you.

I know you do. And it's lovely.

But, I can't let work down.

Anyway, if I call in sick they'll probably ask you to do it.

What's this in aid of?

Don't forget my phone is switched off today.

I'm doing the teenage sexual health training course.

OK. And?

And...I've called a house therapist.

A what?!

A house therapist.

He creates alluring, vibrant homes that buyers want to own.

Are you joking?

No, a patient told me about him.

What do you think?

Uh, I think...no way.

Her sister's house was up for sale for two years,

Rocky did a consultation and it sold within three days!

-"Rocky?"

-We need a buyer now.

We've got to compromise. Do you want a quick sale or not?

Thank you.

Now, will you let him in when he arrives?

What do you... Wait... What, he's on his way now?

Don't worry, he sounds lovely on the phone.

He'll probably just... I don't know, clear a few surfaces,

add a few...scatter cushions.

Love you!

You can't half pack it away for a skinny bird!

One of the reasons I fell for you, you know.

Such a romantic.

Helen, listen.

It's been eight months.

Don't you think maybe it's time we...told...people?

Andrew always wanted a big family but it didn't work out for us.

Then, finally when Olivia arrived it didn't matter any more.

We've been so happy here, the three of us.

She'll need to hang on to that.

I know.

Whenever you're ready, love.

By the way...

you're late.

Could you let yourself out? Hopefully, I won't hit traffic.

Mum? Dad? Surprise!

Olivia!

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm sorry, darling,

it's just a surprise!

A wonderful one, though.

Is everything all right? With Tom?

Work?

Of course!

I just had a few days holiday to use or lose, so here I am.

I got an early start to avoid the rush.

That is OK, isn't it?

Is Dad all right?

He's fine, darling.

He's at the hospice... to give me a break, remember?

Oh.

It's only four days a month. And he likes his nurse.

No, Mum, sorry.

I was just looking forward to spending the day with him.

You can, darling. They like family members around.

Great!

Mum, things aren't so mad now the merger's gone through.

I could start coming up at weekends.

Ollie, you know your Dad wants you to live your own life.

Well, he can't stop me, can he?

Very nice.

Should I put my bags upstairs?

-Shall I pop these in his room?

-Er...

No.

I need to get them mended.

Listen, Ollie, I have to get to work.

I'll pick you up at the hospice, later.

Why don't I drop you on the way?

What about work?

Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Well, it's..."bleur," but...

I can work with it.

Great. OK...

Right, look. I have to get to work, so...

what, do you have a look around

-and then send us a to-do list or something?

-No.

This is therapy, Jimmi.

First I have to... experience each space

before I can even think about colour, styling,

energy flows.

Whether any items need to be...

-..edited.

-Edited?

This is nothing to be scared of, Jimmi.

I'm not.

Fantastic!

Well, don't let me keep you.

Look, if you're going to move any furniture or anything,

you just call me first?

Trust me. You're going to love it!

DOOR CLOSES

EXHALES DEEPLY

PHONE RINGS

Oh, no you don't, this cost me £2.50!

Hello, Campus Surgery.

I'm sorry, there's no-one here to take your call at...

How can I help?

Oh!

Oh, OK, yes.

Yes, I'll let him know. Thank you.

Bye!

You look nice.

You got a date?

Who is it?

What?

Oh, no. No!

Yes you have!

I'm waiting for my driver.

Your what?

Karen, while you were no doubt fast asleep this morning,

I was woken up at the crack of dawn

by a senior board member of the PCT...

who's roping me into a presentation

on high quality commissioning practices,

which gives me exactly...

oh, ten minutes to get to grips with this little lot

before I have to present it to five other practice managers

without looking like a complete idiot.

I don't think sending a car for me is too much to ask, is it?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Your swollen glands are here.

Oh!

Jimmi?

Sorry, yes. Swollen glands, yes, show them in.

Are you OK?

Of course.

Ah, you're late.

Sorry, Mrs Parsons. Shall we go?

-It's Miss. Who's this?

-This is my daughter, Olivia.

She's visiting from London.

May I drop her on the way?

Hardly appropriate.

Appropriate? We're not going to Buckingham Palace!

-Can we just go?

-PHONE RINGS

She needs to be available.

She's got more than just this job to think about, OK?

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Don't worry, Miss Parsons,

I'll make sure you get there on time.

Hope so.

Right, there you go, Mrs Beeson.

-Thank you.

-Bye, now.

Another coffee?

Karen, could you get Heston to cover for me?

What's happening?

Tell him it's an emergency

and I'll buy him a pint of sherry later. Thanks, Karen!

Hi, Daddy.

I missed you, too.

They had...

the latest Pratchett in the shop.

Are you in the mood?

No? OK. Well, later then. We've got all day.

I bet that's itchy, isn't it?

Tell you what,

you rest and I'll be back soon.

(Oh!)

-POWER DRILL WHIRRS

-Jimmi!

What the hell are you doing?!

Oh, damn!

Thank you.

My daughter's always doing presentations

for her investment bank.

She says the best thing to do is to imagine them...

I know. In their underwear.

No, in your underwear!

Look, my next meeting's just round the corner so I'll walk there.

I need the fresh air, anyway. I'll see you back here. OK?

Of course. Good luck, Ms Parsons.

It's...Julia.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hi, Mike? It's me.

Hello?

Mum?

Who the hell are you?!

Mum, I'll call you back.

Oh, wait, wait. I'm...

But they're so shiny, they look fabulous hung up!

I don't understand.

You're not drilling holes in my wall, OK?

OK.

That's cool.

Cherry said you really need to sell this place.

Urgently?

Yes.

Then listen to me,

because this is how it works.

People think they're buying a house but they're not,

they're buying a lifestyle.

So, we have to sell them your amazing lifestyle,

OK?

OK?

So, to achieve this we're going for a luxury, organic look.

A...modern and sexy, yet natural and relaxed too.

Raw wood meets elegant metallics!

When I'm finished, this place is going to fly off the shelves.

Trust me!

PHONE RINGS

Jo, I can't deal with this now. I'm working.

Love you, bye.

SIGHS

Listen, Jimmi, do you really want to sell this place?

Of course.

Then you have to trust me.

I've been a house therapist for almost...eighteen months now,

so I do know what I'm talking about.

I can see you're nervous,

but just try and relax

and embrace the vision!

Yes, sorry, I'm not sure that I can.

Where are you going?

Jimmi?

Hello!

Did you get through to your mum, yet?

Please, keep trying!

Oh, she's here!

What's happened? Is Olivia all right?

Yeah, she's fine. I nearly got brained though.

Oh, Mike, I'm sorry. Why didn't you go home?

I was clearing up. I didn't want to leave a mess.

You didn't say anything?

Me? No, no.

But look, love, maybe this was for the best.

If we just told her now we could get it over with.

Olivia!

This is Mike.

I'm so sorry, darling.

I should have told you about him before.

He's your dad's new care assistant.

Hello.

Hi!

Why didn't you mention him?

Sorry!

-She didn't tell me about you.

-No.

I'll check the back door's locked.

Sorry.

That last care assistant was hopeless.

It's a good thing she's got you.

Oh, right.

-Oh, Helen, could I have a word, please?

-I need to get back.

I'll pick you up later.

Bye, Mike.

Mike, wait.

I need to ask you something.

Ah, it looks wrong.

I'm sorry, but...

If we could just...

..edit it a bit, so it doesn't look so overstuffed.

Overstuffed?!

This is my design vision.

Well, if you're not going to take my advice.

-Sorry, mate, it's not going to work.

-But...

we have an agreement, a contract.

I've given up my time.

No!

Absolutely not!

Oh, I'm so sorry!

So you keep saying. All I needed was somebody I could trust and rely on.

I'll pick up a packet of tights for you. Won't take a minute.

No, no! Thank you.

You could take mine.

Just stop!

Helen, what's going on?

I'm fine.

Why don't we go and get ourselves a coffee, hey?

Come on.

This is the statement piece,

integral to the whole design vision!

It's a bunch of twigs!

Statement pieces sell houses, Jimmi!

It's a dirty bunch of twigs. Not staying here!

Why won't you embrace my vision?!

Your house must make a statement.

-Here's a statement, take all your crap and go!

-You can't fire me!

I think I just did.

No! No, because Cherry called me,

she asked for my services and she's paying the bill.

Cherry's not here, so...

Look, why are you ruining this?!

You need me!

I bloody don't! Out!

Oh!

Agh! My back! Ahh!

Aah!

Oh, not now!

Oh, not now!!

How long ago was Andrew diagnosed?

Seven years.

Early on he was still, you know...

him.

Then it took him away a little more every day.

You think I'm a good person, don't you?

We'd struggle without the money but that's not why I took this job.

Mike and I were just friends,

then a few months ago things changed.

Now I couldn't be without him.

Hey, you don't need to explain to me.

No, but I do need to stop being selfish.

Mike will understand,

he knows Andrew and Olivia come first.

So...

..what then, are you, are you going to stop...seeing Mike?

I mean, wouldn't that mean that you would have to give up your job

and your independence?

I understand that you want to protect Olivia

from more hurt,

but it does seem to me that you're hiding behind her too,

just a bit.

Excuse me?

Well, Helen, maybe it's time that you just stop...being Andrew's wife

and Olivia's mum,

and...maybe just...

started thinking about how you would like Helen's life to be.

Like this...

..or you'll nick him.

He's funny, isn't he, my dad?

He used to read the riot act to all my boyfriends.

Mind out for this bit.

Wonder what he'd have done if someone really had hurt me.

Ahh!

Ooh!

It's nothing. Your mum says you're getting married.

-In three months.

-Hmm.

I better get back to Dad.

Thanks for this.

No worries. And congratulations.

Whoops.

Mike...

..why are you wearing my dad's shoes?

Olivia!

Look, it's not your mum's fault.

-I knew she was lonely. It was all me.

-Oh.

Look... This, me and your mum - it's not just some fling.

Please, go and talk to her. Look, she's logged in with work.

She's outside the surgery in Morton Road. I can drive you there.

Will you be all right?

I'm sorry, Julia.

I was meant to be making life easier for you today.

Well, I'm glad I could help.

Sometimes it's easy to forget what this job is all about.

Well, what with that and the endless meetings!

Ollie?

Ollie! Ollie, wait.

Oh, no!

Give me the keys, I'll sort this out.

No, thank you. I'll do it.

We should get a move on, the one-way system's very slow today.

Definitely a pulled muscle.

You're going to have to take it easy for a few days.

In fact, you should go home right now and lie down.

No, no. Oh! Agh!

It's happened before, ha-ha.

I can do this!

Agh!

Aah!

Ahh, ahh!

See?

Rocky, come on. You could do some real damage.

I'm here until the house is perfect!

It's fine. Really.

Fine is not perfect!

Besides, Jo will worry if I come home early.

I'll call him and explain.

Him?

Oh, I'm sorry. I...

No, it's fine.

It's all totally fine!

Oh, Rocky. Come on, mate. I just got the wrong end of the...

Jo's pregnant.

She told me this morning.

Oh, OK.

No, it's not OK!

It's very far from OK!

How can I pay for a baby?

They cost ten thousand a year!

-Really?

-I heard that on Radio 2!

I can't pay for that!

It's a cut-throat business, this.

Dressing houses?

I've spent years building this up

and word of mouth is everything.

If word gets out that I've blown it with you,

then it could all fall apart!

I'd have to go back to the sliced meats at Evergreens.

Oh!

Rocky, you're in no fit state.

I have...to finish this!

Please, Jimmi!

I have to.

Did you reach Olivia?

Well, try again.

There's a diversion in the town centre.

We need to go the long way round.

Helen, talk to me.

We need to leave now.

Hello, yes, this is Julia Parsons for Simon Crossland.

Simon, hello, it's Julia.

Listen, I'm very sorry

but I'm going to have to juggle our appointment.

Left a bit.

Left, left...

Perfect! No, no, back, back, back a smidge.

So are we finished now?

Kink, kink!

There. Yes!

What now?

I can't do this, Jimmi.

I'm not cut out to be a parent.

They make such a mess, I'm not sure I can cope with that.

This is just panic. You're in shock.

I've seen it dozens of times.

I know a great antenatal class for dads.

-If you want, I can sort you out a spot.

-Really?

Oh, but what about the business?

The money?

Well...

..we got off to a bad start,

but look at it now, hmm?

Come on.

Here you are.

-Oh!

-OK?

Ah!

It's not bad, is it?

No, and of course I'll pay for your services

and recommend you to friends.

Really? Would you do that?

Yes. Look, you need to rest that back, doctor's orders.

Yes, yes, I will.

Oh, you didn't...

mean all that stuff you said before? About me and my crap?

No! It's... It was great!

Oh, stop!

The scented oil burner! How could I forget?

Agh, agh!

Ollie!

The two of you sleep together in your and Dad's old room?

Darling, let's go home and talk.

Dad gave her this when they got married.

She gave it to me when I got engaged, for my something old.

From now on, I'll text before I visit him.

Don't be around. You can e-mail me if anything changes.

Ollie, wait!

Darling, I still love him.

I just needed something...more.

Please, take your brooch.

Your Dad wants you to wear it at your wedding.

There won't be a wedding.

Tom slept with someone else.

He told me last night.

Apparently, it was a one-off

and meant nothing.

Darling.

I needed you, Mum.

I really needed you.

Your next meeting's not til 6.30, is it?

Could you do one more thing for me, first?

Mm-hm.

Are you sure I should drive?

Maybe I should just leave the van here and er...

Ooh, no. Gentle movement will be very good for you.

Bye, then!

Agh. Thank you, Jimmi.

Oh! Agh.

Ooh, erm...

thanks for everything.

I'm sorry I went a bit diva designer there for a while,

it must be the dad hormones!

But you do see what a difference house therapy makes, don't you?

Absolutely!

Remember, statements sell houses!

ENGINE PURRS

PHONE BEEPS

Much better.

HE MOUTHS

You're welcome.

Go away.

Shall I do your pillow?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Are you sure this is a good idea?

What's HE doing here?

Thank you for coming.

No, stop. You can't do this.

I have to, Ollie.

Darling,

this is him.

Olivia, wait.

He knows, doesn't he?

He kept telling me for years to find someone else.

He said I should tell you that's what he wanted. But I couldn't.

I don't believe you.

It's the only thing left that he can do for me, darling.

Look.

I'll look after her.

If she'll let me.

-I'll drive you to your meeting.

-Thank you.

Oh!

Good luck.

Ready, Dad?

OK.

HE SIGHS

Hiya!

Er...it's lovely.

Minimum, but not too drastic.

No.

Was it awful?

It's like you said, it's not just about me, it's about a compromise.

Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy for you.

It's fine.

Here.

To our new house.

Mmm, I hope so.

So, what's he done with the rest of the house?

Erm...nothing too drastic.

Er, there's been a few changes in the bedroom.

Like what?

Well, the fairy lights and the fluffy cushions

didn't match Rocky's vision, so...they had to go.

What?!

HE LAUGHS

-BABY WAILS

-He cries.

You know, he cries all the time.

I'm worried there might be something wrong.

Zara's pregnant.

Oh!

Congratulations!

You'll be getting married, of course.

Please, stop crying!

Stop it!

Stop crying!

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