Freegan to Choose Doctors

Jessie, are you awake?

-I am now.

-You were moaning again.

Just a bit achy, that's all.

Achy's not right, Jess. And yesterday you said your vision was blurry.

I'm fine.

You've been like this for well over a week now. KNOCK ON DOOR

Wake up, sleepy heads. We're off on a raid. Fifteen minutes.

-Coming!

-Come on, Jess, you know you can't go out in this state.

India likes everyone to go.

I know what India likes. But you're obviously not up to it. Jess.

-We're a group. I don't want special treatment.

-It's not special treatment!

You're pregnant and you're feeling under the weather. India won't mind. I'll explain.

Maybe just this once.

Shhh.

"Dear Mrs Tembe, I wanted to introduce myself

"and to thank you for your kindness and generosity in offering to host me

"for the duration of my theology studies at Letherbridge University."

Just seeing a doctor's OK.

We've been through all this! India says...

I know. Look... just get a diagnosis.

Then whatever it is, we'll treat it here. Please.

For me.

For the baby.

"I am very excited about my studies at the University

"with your Reverend Stanhope, and already looking forward

"to bringing what I learn back to Nigeria.

"I share my family's hopes and prayers that one day,

"with God's help, I will become a minister myself.

"Looking forward to meeting you. Yours sincerely, Akono Mezu."

-MRS TEMBE SQUEALS

-Watch it.

Excuse us.

Here we go! Monk, keep a look out.

Debbie, Zip, Mark, you try the bins behind the baker's.

-Looks all clear.

-Let me.

Look at all this stuff.

-Not even past its "sell by" date!

-Shameful.

These chocolates and all.

Seeing as though Jessie's not feeling great, do you mind if I give them to her?

-Cheer her up.

-Don't you think you should ask the group?

-I don't think the group would mind.

Whatever you think's right.

Right.

I think it's marvellous what you're doing. Very charitable.

Thank you, Doctor Carter. I hope I do not disappoint him.

Why on earth would you disappoint him?

I am worried he will find me... wanting.

Recently I have not been as regular as I should.

-Well, I can give you something...

-Er, no...at church.

Oh, I see.

Erm, I'm sure it will be fine, Mrs Tembe.

Oh, well, I hope so.

Look, I have to dash. I can't talk. Why don't you have a word with Marina about it?

-I really wouldn't be able...

-Thank you, but I would not want to impose...

Excuse me.

What are you doing?! Me? Spiritual advisor?!

Why not? Give it a try.

Maybe not spiritual advice. Just be yourself. Sensible, calm and helpful.

Yeah, but...

-Please.

-I don't know...

Thank you.

..No, it's on the passenger side door.

Er, Doctor Tyler could see you, Miss Preece.

-Oh, hold on a second... Isn't Doctor Carter free?

-Doctor Carter is on his way out.

I've checked, you are available. Please just follow Doctor Tyler.

Sorry. I'll have to call you back later.

I won't take up much of your time.

Sorry?

It's just... you look a little stressed, if you don't mind me saying so.

Well, if you must know, some little...

..keyed my car this morning.

Ah.

-You should get a bike.

-You what?

No-one keys a bike. Plus it's healthy...

you save money...save the planet...

Mm... So, er, what exactly can I do for you, Miss Preece?

I'm five months pregnant, not feeling very well.

-But I don't want drugs or anything, just a diagnosis.

-You've got something against drugs?

And drug companies, yeah. India disapproves.

-The country?

-No!

No, she's like our... um, guide. We're Freegans.

Karen, we've run out of sterile bandages.

-Could you get Freya to go over to the Campus to pick some up?

-Yeah, sure.

No, if Freya goes over there, Elaine's going to be on her own.

Julia?

Erm...

-Nice chatting with you. What can I do for you?

-I've got a 9.30 appointment.

BABY'S HEARTBEAT CAN BE HEARD

-So you actually eat rubbish?!

-You only think it's rubbish because supermarkets tell you it's rubbish.

"Sell by" dates are a complete fabrication.

As Freegans we're just trying, in our own way, not to add to the waste -

to use as few of the earth's resources as possible.

Right.

What's wrong with that?

At least we're trying to make a difference.

-And it's not like we're hurting anyone.

-OK, but...

if you Freegans reject money, and the mainstream economy,

and the NHS, and drugs companies are the devil...

then what exactly are you doing here?

I didn't say that we all do that.

You can't just lump us all together under one group!

Our group uses the Freegan principle

but we've created our own unique lifestyle.

We're pushing the idea up to the next level.

Look, can you just tell me if I'm OK?

-So?

-From what you've told me, I think it's probably flu.

But there are a few other things I need to check for. Diabetes, toxoplasmosis...

But you think it's most likely flu.

Yeah, but we can rule everything out with a few simple blood tests.

No, thanks.

-One of the group is a practitioner of wild medicine.

-Why am I not surprised?

Well, there's no actual cure for flu, is there?

So I might as well have a mug of lemon and ginger tea

as some commercial remedy that won't work,

whose manufacture damages the environment,

and where the profit just goes to some faceless, unethical, multi-national corporation.

I can see why it would be hard for you to agree.

It'd be like turkeys voting for Christmas.

And I suppose they'd be genetically modified turkeys, if you had your way.

Thank you, Doctor Tyler.

DOOR SLAMS

Thank you.

Mrs Tembe, I hope I wasn't too forward suggesting that you and Marina...

-The thing is, Doctor Carter...

-It's just I think she'll be very insightful.

You know, woman to woman.

Erm...exactly!

Perhaps I should speak to Mrs Parsons, or even Dr Cassidy.

Well, could you give Marina a try? Please. For my sake?

-I will try.

-Thank you.

Spongers!

-Anyone in particular?

-That silly hippy. Oh, thanks for that, Mrs T.

I knew she was having problems, but...

And the girl was in a school uniform?

Yeah. And wearing little glasses.

Like Chloe.

Mmm... I mean... I just thought she was in a daze.

I didn't realise she hadn't seen her for a month. Poor Julia.

We should see if she wants to talk.

Or...we could distract her.

-How?

-With the bucket list!

Really?

Why not? It works.

Remember I said that I would like to try writing,

and you said "You should"? I did. I joined a writing course. Watch out, Jackie Collins!

Oh, Dr Granger. I wonder if you could help me.

What does a young man need?

Is this a joke?

It is for my house guest.

I'm trying to make a list of things to buy for his room.

Er, well, I don't know. Maybe a TV? A little fridge?

What? I cannot afford anything like that.

OK, how about, er, a kettle?

Oh, now, that is a good idea.

And, er, his own mug. Don't give him some sort of airy-fairy fancy-nancy mug thing.

Kevin, what do guys need in their rooms?

Privacy. And a punch bag.

Miss Broad, my 11.30. Please come through.

-Music! What kind of music does he like?

-I...I do not know.

Oh, kettle, mug, clock. Sounds like the Generation Game.

All you need is a cuddly toy and a decanter.

I am trying to make a shopping list.

-Oh, yes, is that for your Mr...

-Mr Mezu.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, what Heston said earlier... if you need to talk or...

Thank you, but that will not be necessary.

I am trying to work this out for myself.

I am going to ask Mrs Parsons if I can take the afternoon off

-to buy some things, and clean the house.

-Right, then. OK.

Jessie, angel, you missed a good one. Look at all the stuff we got.

Jess, you look terrible.

I'll be OK.

Well, what did the doctor say?

-You went to a doctor?

-Oh, just to hear what he'd say.

And?

Ah... Bit of flu, he reckoned.

Once I'd got past the superior attitude and bad temper

and prejudice. I should never have let you

-talk me into it.

-Did he give you anything?

-If he had, I'm sure she wouldn't have taken it.

-I told him that's not what I wanted.

Good girl.

Why don't you go up to bed, eh? Get some rest.

-What are these for?

-India said it was OK.

I said you should do what you think's right.

Jess! Come on, let me help you.

No, you stay and help put away.

She's not well. Something isn't right.

Barney, I know you're concerned about the baby.

Of course you are, we all are. It'll be the newest addition to our family

but don't forget that Jess is vulnerable right now and she needs our support.

Don't tell me what she needs!

All I'm saying is I think you should respect her beliefs...

even if you don't hold them yourself.

Her beliefs, or your beliefs?!

Not seeing doctors, this whole commune thing...

-this isn't what Freeganism's about.

-I'm glad we had this talk.

Oh sorry, I just...

I was just...well, waking myself up.

Right.

Mrs Parsons says it is fine for me to take the afternoon off.

-Just to buy some things for the house.

-That's fantastic, great.

-Erm, what are you going to buy?

-Um...I do not know.

-I have made a list, but...

-What?

-This will probably sound silly to you...

-No!

There is nowhere suitable in my house for prayer.

Er...isn't the thing about prayer that you can do it anywhere?

-Yes, but I thought it would be nice to have somewhere special.

-Oh.

And then I wondered why I do not already have somewhere in my house to pray.

Have I become negligent with my faith? Am I spiritually inadequate?

-Mrs Tembe...

-No, it...it is true.

I am not always patient with people who anger me and I do not make

enough of an effort to... to share the word of the Lord.

I am beginning to wonder if I am the right person to host this devout man.

Hold on a minute, Mrs Tembe.

You're the most spiritual person I know.

In fact, you're probably the most spiritual person anyone knows

-and you're going to be a great host for this Mr... What's...?

-Mezu.

Mezu. Mr Mezu. You know, if he's going to judge you for the fact you haven't got

anywhere special to pray, then really it's, er...

Thank you, Miss Bonnaire, you... you have been very helpful.

OK, so far we've got gliding, circus school-slash-learning to trapeze, tank driving...

Zorbing.

OK...zorbing.

I thought you meant that other one we talked about before...

Zarimba? Whatever you call it.

Zumba!

You see, I thought I saw it. It's a class for beginners this afternoon.

Isn't that just aerobics?

No! It's like salsa, I think. You know, like on Strictly.

-Hey, I could nip out and get us some outfits.

-Outfits?

-Yeah, everybody gets dressed up. It's like a party.

-But it's at three o'clock!

Yeah, so while I'm out, you could persuade Julia to leave work and come with us.

Jess. I brought you some tea.

Hope it tastes better than it smells.

-You've got a temperature.

-I'll drink this and it will be fine.

-You've got to go back to the doctor's.

-Barney!

But what if it's not flu?

What if it's something more serious and you need medicine?

That's what they want you to think, that every little thing needs drugs.

-You sound just like that doctor.

-Yeah, and you sound just like India.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-We started this because it's something we believe in.

Now it sounds like it's her you believe in.

-That's not fair.

-I just reckon you should think for yourself, that's all.

-And I think you should have a lot more respect.

-This isn't about respect.

You had a different attitude when Monk nursed you through your pneumonia.

Ah, come on, Jess, we both know that wasn't pneumonia.

This is our baby, and we've got to choose for it.

Us - you and me. Not the group.

Or India, or any new principle or idea that she wants to test on us!

Barney, you don't get it.

I'm scared.

Right, this...is scary.

I'm here.

I know, but... The group is our family.

The only family we've got. And India is an important part of that.

And if that's not what you want, then...

So you're not actually ill.

Er, no, it's my girlfriend Jessie. She came in earlier.

You said it was flu.

Ah, yes. Well, sorry, I can't discuss her case with you.

But I did everything I could.

-But I think it's getting worse.

-She needs to make an appointment.

But she made it pretty clear that it would go against her principles.

No, that's not what we're about. That's India talking.

Look, there's nothing else I can do, OK?

She said you were rude.

PHONE RINGS

Marina Bonnaire.

Marina Bonnaire, you sound like the heroine of a 19th-century novel.

A romantic 19th-century novel, I hope.

-Of course.

-How's it going?

Interminably. I've snuck out for five minutes' fresh air.

Did you get a chance to chat to Mrs Tembe?

Oh, well, yes and no.

But I'm just around the corner from her, so I thought I might drop by unannounced.

-Good for you. Into the dragon's lair.

-I'll tell her you said that.

-Don't you dare.

See you later. Bye.

Bye.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Oh... you?

-Yeah, I was just passing. thought I'd pop in. Is that OK?

-Oh, yeah.

Usually, of course, but I am right in the middle of cleaning and organising.

Perhaps another time.

Yeah, but that's the thing, Mrs Tembe. You see,

-it occurred to me that I might be able to help you.

-With cleaning?

Well, no, but you see I visit an awful lot of people's homes, checking their suitability.

Maybe I could cast my eye over yours from the point of view of a young man from the Nigerian countryside.

Mm?

A professional opinion.

-KNOCKING

-Come in.

Now, Julia...

Yes?

I need you to drop everything and come with me.

-Is everything all right?

-It's fine, but we need to take you somewhere.

-We?

-Karen and me.

What's going on?

We've decided we have to go to Zumba.

-What?!

-It's absolutely essential.

-Now?!

-In 20 minutes.

Are you mad! I've got all this to get through.

Do it tomorrow.

I've got no Jimmi, no Heston, Marina is on house calls,

and Mrs Tembe has got the afternoon off. So you two are out of your tiny little minds.

Now you're just looking for excuses.

We thought you needed a distraction.

Anyway, you'll be back by 4.30.

No. And that's final.

Not even...Ooh!

No.

Oh, I am taking those to the charity shop. They are not suitable.

They're just romance novels.

He may think they are too...well, worldly.

-And is this the area for prayer?

-Yes. Er, do you think it looks inviting enough?

I do and, er, to be honest, Mrs Tembe, I don't think you've got anything to worry about.

You've got a lovely home. It's tidy and it's spotless...

I do not know.

I am not sure I can go through with this.

Perhaps I should call Reverend Stanhope and call the whole thing off.

Oh, now, hold on a minute - let's not be too hasty.

How about a cup of tea first? Hey?

Oi! What do you think you're doing?

-Checking your bins.

-What for?

I don't know - discarded medicine, a prescription pad...anything.

We don't "discard" medicine!

Look, I just want to make my girlfriend better!

Oh, rummaging in bins is going to help do that?

-If you'd done your job properly, I wouldn't have to!

-I tried to help...

-I don't care what you tried to do.

She's getting worse. She's got a high temperature, her vision's blurry, she's dizzy all the time...

Well, hold on, she never told me that. Where is she now?

She...she's nearby. I'll show you. Why, what do you think it is?

I'm not sure. It could be toxoplasmosis.

Mrs Tembe, all I can do is offer you the same advice

I give to new mums which is, in fact, what you'll be.

Don't try to be perfect.

But...but what if...

Look, it's impossible, and trying is going to drive you mad.

What you're doing is good enough and that's allowed, OK?

But what if I do not live up to his expectations?

Well, then his expectations are too high. He'll just have to lower them.

What he needs is a landlady with a lovely house,

occasional bit of moral guidance, and an introduction into how we do things here.

And if you, of all people, aren't good enough for the job, then I really don't know who would be.

Mr Mezu is really lucky to have you.

Would you like a slice of home-made cake?

This had better be good.

Ready?

-Who is this?

-He's with me. It's urgent.

I have to see Jessie Preece. Now.

-And you are?

-Her doctor.

She doesn't have a doctor. She has a holistic medical practitioner who lives with us here in the house.

Well, she came to see me this morning,

which makes her my patient, and this is an emergency. So excuse me.

Jessie!

It's going to be OK, Jess. Doctor Tyler's here from the Campus.

-But I don't want him. India!

-Forget India. We need to get you to hospital - now!

Jessie? I think I know what's wrong with you. It's potentially serious, but easily treatable.

You said it was flu.

I think I was wrong. You need medicine.

Your baby needs it.

Remind me again whose idea this was?

It'll be all right when it gets going.

MUSIC STARTS

THEY CHANT "ZUMBA ZUMBA"

It's a cult.

Look at those abs!

Look at those shorts!

This isn't Strictly, is it?

He's definitely not Brucie! Come on, girls.

-No!

-No!

Leave her alone. You can't make her go with you.

-And you can't make her stay.

-Just because one member of the group doesn't understand the consequences

-of his actions...

-Just shut up!

I'm sorry, India. I didn't know he was bringing him.

It's OK, Jessie. We'll deal with this later.

-But for now, I want the doctor to leave.

-Jessie, you need treatment.

You've got a high fever and your pulse is racing.

Do you understand me? I need to get you to hospital!

I don't know.

-You can't take her. She's ours. And the baby.

-What are you doing?

Jessie decides.

She's too feverish to decide.

Please stop arguing.

She's too important to the group.

Don't you see? She's the proof. If we have this baby, then we'll show it can be done. Our way.

That's enough!

You don't mean our way. You mean your way.

This isn't what I want, but I thought you cared about me, about us!

-Jess, we'll look after you.

-No, you won't.

I am not an "experiment" and we are not a cult!

This was supposed to be supported living!

-"Living outside society's expectations", what you said.

-That's what we're doing!

No, it's not. I don't know what you're doing, but it's not based on free living.

You've taken things too far, and if you're willing

to jeopardize my baby for that, then you are no family of mine.

Please, take me away from here.

If you go now, you will never be allowed back!

Jessie, please...we're your family.

Barney and the baby are my family.

Thanks, ladies. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.

Same time tomorrow?

I don't think I'll be ready by the same time next week!

OK, next week then. And I'm thinking...same outfits?

Really?

-Are you joking?

-Yeah! I'm joking!

This was a moment of madness for which you two are responsible. But...

I really do appreciate it. Thank you. You're good friends.

Thanks, girls.

Well, thank you. You...you have been very kind.

Ah, it's been fun.

I cannot believe I have been so silly.

Oh, you haven't been silly, Mrs Tembe. And in any case, it's allowed.

I remember.

-I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?

-To be honest, Miss Bonnaire...

I did not see it before, but Doctor Carter is very lucky to have you.

No. I'm the lucky one.

You're not welcome on this estate. You never were.

We'll go when we're ready.

Today.

I'm still waiting to hear on my housing.

-Mm.

-Living on at estate, it's killing me.

What you after?

-Yeah, we're not buying, thanks, love.

-How absolutely...

Do I look like I'm here to purchase some...?

Crack cocaine?

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