Crush Doctors

'Rise and shine with Letherbridge FM.'

Mand!

Hurry up, your toast is getting soggy.

I'm coming.

Well? What do you think?

What?

How do I look?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Is that it?

Ah, Freya, it's my first day. I want to make a good impression.

You look great. You always do.

Who are you texting?

Some lass from the blog.

She wants a "stitch and bitch" update.

I wish you wouldn't call it that.

MANDY LAUGHS

What are they?

Packed lunches.

MANDY LAUGHS

What?

Aw! Do you think we'll end up killing each other?

Why?

You know, living AND working together.

Mmmm...no.

Besides, you look far too sexy in this uniform.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Morning, girls. What do you reckon?

Jack! Check you out!

-I'm loving the suit.

-Mum, will you just keep it down?

What's this in aid of?

There's a careers fair today in the legal department.

-All the big firms are going to be there.

-Really? Brilliant, wow.

Hang on a minute, your tie's all skewwhiff.

-Stand still.

-Will you stop fussing?!

Stand still.

There we go. See?

Isn't that lovely?

OK. Well, what you hanging around for? Go get 'em, tiger.

SHE WOLF WHISTLES

Hi, everyone. You remember Mandy.

-She is going to be the latest addition to our nursing staff.

-Hi.

-Welcome to the madhouse. I'm sure you'll fit in.

-Thank you.

After a few days, you'll feel like you've been here forever.

-If you have any problems, my door's always open.

-Thank you.

Hi.

-Mrs Tembe. Do you remember Mandy?

-I have some very alarming news.

-I have just received a postcard from Doctor Carter.

-(Here we go.)

-Is he OK?

-I honestly believe he has lost his mind.

Why?

He says he has completed the...

the Genghis Khan Grassland Extreme Marathon in Inner Mongolia.

Heston's run a marathon?

Was it over a period of months?

May I remind you that Doctor Carter has a serious heart condition.

Oh, come on, Mrs T. He's taking it... You know.

Apparently, he has set his heart on

completing the Tiberian Marathon in the Jordan Valley.

He's pulling your leg.

Actually, I wouldn't be so sure of that.

Have you spoken to him?

No, but we had a chat before he left and he said

he was going to do some "life affirming activities" on his trip.

I guess this is what he meant.

Oh...

MUSIC: "Music to Watch Girls By" by The Bob Crewe Generation

-Pardon me.

-Sorry.

-Are you OK?

-Are you OK?

Sorry. After you.

Thanks.

I'll see you soon, Mr Dalton. And if I were you,

I'd maybe think about getting your cat's claw trimmed?

-Yeah, thank you.

-Mm. Bye.

Are you dispensing veterinary advice now?

-Was that Mr Dalton?

-Mm-hm.

Let me guess, scratches on his back?

Said it was his cat.

Believe that and you'll believe anything.

Are you purposely giving me all the weird ones?

-No.

-I had this woman in earlier who reacted to a spray tan.

She was bright green.

This is freaky. The three of us, working together, under one roof.

Cherry's Angels.

Lets not become those saddos who just talk about work all the time.

Especially not tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Come on.

Don't tell me you've forgotten. My first birthday as Mrs Clay.

No, of course we haven't forgotten, you silly thing.

In fact, because it's your first birthday as an honest woman,

we have been preparing something really special. Haven't we, Mand?

-Really?

-Yeah!

Well, me and Jimmi are going to do something special on Saturday

but I've got tomorrow night free so we can have a girlie night.

Brilliant.

I hope you're not internet shopping during work hours, Mrs T.

I am researching Doctor Carter's next marathon.

Did you know that the temperatures in the Jordan Valley

-can reach over 100 degrees?

-I hope he bought his sunscreen.

Doctor Tyler, I do not think this is funny.

I am very worried about Doctor Carter's heart.

Why? I'm sure it beats only for you.

Mrs Tembe, hold the fort, will you? I've got a meeting.

-And keep an eye on Mandy while Cherry's on home visits.

-Of course.

What do you make of our new nursey, then?

I have not had chance to form an opinion.

Blatant nepotism, though.

Freya giving her girlfriend a job.

I am sure she is very qualified.

So, what do you make of lesbians, Mrs T?

You being a bit churchy and all?

Lesbians?

MANDY CLEARS HER THROAT

Just wondered if my next patient was here yet?

Um, not yet.

-Well, can you send them straight in when they get here?

-Of course.

Oops.

Thanks, see you later.

We have to stop meeting like this. People will talk.

Oh, I think we're above all that, don't you?

I see you've been working the room. Seen anything you fancy?

Maybe.

Do share.

Frederick Carr was top of my list.

You've obviously done your homework. They've got my vote.

In fact, I could put in a good word for you.

You?

Yeah. Their recruitment team have already approached me.

Why don't we go for a coffee? I could give you a few pointers.

Thanks, but I just set up a meeting later with the head of their HR division.

And I have a feeling he's very interested.

If I'm honest, I've a thing about older guys. Self made.

No offence.

None taken.

Another time maybe? It was nice meeting you.

Jack Hollins.

Kelly Rawlins.

See you around.

I hope so.

We shouldn't have lied, Freya.

It'll be fine. We'll...

..take her out for dinner. Buy her something pink and frilly.

Come on, she's a married woman now.

We can't just do the same old same old.

Oh! Now we've only got a few hours to come up with a "special surprise,"

thanks to you and your big gob.

All right.

MANDY SIGHS

We're going to have to tell her the truth.

Or...

we could canvas for ideas on my blog?

-Oh, not the blog.

-Give it a chance!

We'll just ask my followers for suggestions

then Cherry can pick the best one.

What?

It's not going to do any harm, is it?

I can't believe the number of responses on here, you know.

People not got lives?

I quite liking the "girls' night out pole dancing class", though.

I hoped you would.

And the belly dancing.

Not sure about some of the weirder suggestions, though.

-I can't imagine Cherry going for it.

-Going for what?

-Er, nothing.

If you're planning something mad then I want prior approval.

And no strippers.

We wouldn't. I promise.

What's on there?

I asked the "onefrankfemale" followers to come up

with ideas for your birthday surprise.

You get to choose the best one.

-On the blog?

-What's wrong with that?

-After last time?

-It is just a bit of fun.

There's some wicked suggestions on here.

Really? Like what?

I don't think so. They're still posting.

You can decide later.

See, blogging, not such a waste of time.

-Jack Hollins?

-Yes.

Cheers for that.

Bye, Mrs Webb.

There is something wrong with this machine.

Have you tried...rebooting?

I hope you did not think

that Doctor Tyler and I were gossiping earlier.

It's nothing I haven't heard before, believe me.

I really have no interest in people's personal lives.

I like to think I am...

an open-minded person.

Good for you.

Excuse me?

Oh, Lord save us.

Sorry?

Hiya. How are you?

-Can I help you?

-Sorry. I need to see the nurse, please.

-Do you have an appointment?

-Um, no.

-Are you registered at this practice?

-No.

-Then I'm afraid you'll have to fill out a form first.

-It's OK. I can see him.

I've got a drop-in this morning.

Great. Can I just use your loo first?

-Course you can. Straight down the corridor, on the left.

-Ta!

What?

We DO have a system and he WILL have to fill out a form first.

Would you be saying that if he was wearing a suit?

Absolutely not. Call them back and tell them that frankly,

their offer is derisory.

They said themselves that mine is the premier website in the world.

Remind them that Google are in the mix as well.

Is there anything else in my diary?

Call my bank in Switzerland, they'll make the transfer.

Look, I haven't got time to deal with this now.

-I'll have to call them back later on Tokyo time.

-Jack?

Oh, hi. How was your one-to-one with the head of HR?

-Any joy?

-He's a very charming man, as I'm sure is his husband.

-I meant with regards to recruitment?

-Oh, yeah.

They're getting back to me.

So, Tokyo?

What?

Your phone call?

Oh, yeah, it's Linking Legal.

-A social networking site for lawyers.

-You work for the site?

I own it.

Really? I've never heard of it.

-Is it successful?

-We've turned over three mil.

Is that the time? I've got to get this back to the dealer.

Its revs are way, way down.

Well, maybe we could meet later?

Sure. Why don't you come around for dinner?

OK.

Here's my address.

You don't live in halls?

No. I've got my own place. It's in Kingsvale.

Shall we say six o'clock?

Perfect.

See you then.

There you go. All done.

My number's on there, in case you're still interested.

Thanks.

You look great, by the way.

I've got a bit of a thing about women in uniform, me.

Really? I'll, erm,

I'll bear that in mind.

Anyway, let's talk about you, shall we?

-Do you want to take a seat?

-Yeah, sure, yeah.

Well, I'm single.

I was seeing this girl for about 18 months

but we split up at New Year.

You might know her actually. Sarah Hardy?

She works at the leisure centre.

Can't say I do, no.

So, er, what about you?

Sorry?

You seeing anyone? Bet you're fighting them off, aren't you?

You know what, actually, Geoff, I've got quite a few patients waiting,

so if you could just tell me what the problem is?

Right, yeah, sorry. Erm...

It's me nipples.

I had them pierced.

I think they've gone a bit septic.

OK. Um...

Right, well, if you'd just like to take your top off, please.

Thought you'd never ask.

-What are you doing here?

-Oh, charming.

-What do you want?

-A cup of tea would be nice.

-Now's not a good time.

-What? Have you got a girl in there?

-No. I'm busy.

-Jack, what's going on?

Just bog off, Immie.

I'm telling Mum.

Thanks, Mandy, you're a lifesaver. That chafing was not pleasant.

-I can imagine.

-Right, well,

now I know where you are,

maybe we could see a bit more of each other?

Um... Excuse me, I've got other patients.

Oh, right. See you.

Hello? I have been put on hold for over 25 minutes.

I asked to speak to an engineer. I have lost my cursor.

Can I help?

Thank you, but I need a professional.

I used to build computers for a living, me.

"Caviar is the fully ripe internal ovaries

"or egg masses of fish."

A fish course for a first date? I don't think so.

Perfect!

Hi! Do you do lobster?

Brilliant. And how much are they?

No, no. No, that's fine. Do you deliver?

Are you serious? What is it, a limo?!

No, OK. I'll come and pick them up myself.

Just one more thing.

Any chance of a student discount?

That is you sorted.

If you've got any more problems, just give me a bell, yeah?

I will! Thank you again, Geoffrey.

You're very welcome, Mrs Tembe. You're very welcome!

-See you!

-Oh, goodbye!

-What's he still doing here?

-I have my cursor back.

Such a very nice young man!

-A total creep, you mean.

-Sorry?

Oh, he was coming on to me. Acting all familiar.

-But you know each other.

-I don't think so!

-He said you went to the same school.

-What?

-Is this working now?

-Yeah.

What's his surname again?

Er...Geoffrey. Geoffrey Roly.

I offered him a cup of tea, but he refused

Oh! Oh, no!

Fifth year Geography!

I didn't even realise!

All I saw was the tatts and the piercings.

That makes two of us!

-Oh, Geoff?

-Flippin' heck.

I don't see you for years, then I see you twice in one day!

-Sorry, you really freaked me out!

-Why, what do you mean?

I didn't realise it was you. I thought you were stalking me.

But we were chatting away.

I know, I know. Yeah, I know, but... You just...

-You look so different!

-Well, you look fantastic.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

Sorry, force of habit.

Never did me any good, did it?

-Well, I've got a partner now, so...

-Oh, right.

Well, lucky man.

It's a woman, actually.

Are you serious?

Wow!

Looks like we've both changed, then, doesn't it?

Sorry for freaking you out.

Oh, don't worry about it.

You know, Geoff, if you are looking for a girlfriend,

I think you're maybe going about it the wrong way.

What do you mean?

Well, the piercings and the tatts, it's...

You look a bit scary.

Oh, thanks a lot!

And the creepy flirting, Geoff. It's not going to work.

You're a really nice guy.

I just think maybe you should advertise it a bit more?

Yeah, You've probably got a point.

Anyway, I'd better be going.

Really nice to see you.

Yeah, and you.

Take care of yourself.

All right. See you.

DOORBELL RINGS

Come in.

Whoa, WHAT'S that smell?

Well, it's not my aftershave, honest. It's dinner.

Let me take that.

Wow, you look great.

So do you.

Interesting place.

Quaint.

Yeah. I've only just moved in.

I'm going to strip it all out, put in a plasma TV,

maybe a home gym.

You know, you're really unassuming, Jack,

for someone who's living this kind of lifestyle

Must be my accent.

Sorry, need to go and check on my other house guests.

-I left them boiling.

-Boiling?

I hope you like lobster.

Oh, I see.

-Yeah, love it.

-Great.

Help yourself to some wine.

OK, right.

Sit down, make yourself comfy.

Those are all the suggestions. You just scroll down like that

Yeah, I know how to use a computer.

All right, missy. I'll leave you alone.

Mands and I will have a coffee while you decide.

Bon appetit!

Thanks.

I really like seafood.

Me too.

Prawns are great.

Yeah, and shrimp.

I might just let it cool down a bit, actually.

Sorry, I... I'm not very good at this.

Don't worry. It's fine.

You must think I'm so unsophisticated.

No, of course not.

To be honest, I'm not that big into shellfish.

I prefer it when it comes out of a tin.

Do you have anything more normal we could eat?

Do you like pizza?

Love it!

LAUGHTER

Well, I hope you had an enjoyable first day.

It certainly was, er...interesting.

Well, you two have a nice evening.

Thank you, Mrs Tembe. You too.

Bye.

Ah, she's sweet.

Well, I don't know about you, but I am knackered.

Well, why don't we go home...

Mm-hm?

-..I could give you a foot massage...

-Mm!

-..order a takeaway,

snuggle up on the sofa?

Ah, I could get used to this treatment!

Oh, here she is, the birthday girl.

-D'you think that I'm stupid?!

-You what?

So, I read the rest of your blog. About you having a crush on me.

-You what?

-It's completely inappropriate.

That was delicious.

Sorry about that before, with the lobster.

Cooking's not really my forte.

I thought you'd have staff, being an entrepreneur and all.

-Yeah. Kelly, about that...

-You've achieved so much, Jack.

I mean, it's really amazing.

-It's kind of hard to believe. The thing is...

-In fact,

here's to you - to your accomplishments and your success.

-To being self-made.

-I'll drink to that.

Jack!

Who's that?

Oh, um... That's my...business partner.

Oh, damn! I completely forgot I said

that she could come round and we'd go through some figures. Hold on a minute!

Do you need me to leave?

-No, no. But if you wouldn't mind waiting upstairs.

-Sure.

-If you go to my room...

-Jack! Can you give me a hand, please?

I've got your shopping!

Arrgh, this key's rubbish!

-Are you deaf?

-Sorry.

-Flippin' heck! What's that smell?

-Er, I had fish for tea.

Well, obviously! It stinks!

Is that all for me?

Yeah. Are you on one of your health kicks again?

No. I didn't know you were coming around.

I just need to measure up in the conservatory.

I've seen this fantastic dresser.

It's mahogany. I just hope it fits.

Thing is, Mum, I've got this essay to do...

Yeah, all right. I'll only be five minutes.

You put personal information about me on a public blog.

That is completely out of order!

Oh, come off it, Cherry!

No-one's going to know it's you.

Your name's not on it. There's no reference...

Freya, it's obvious it's me!

Why didn't you tell me you had a crush on Cherry?

But I didn't... I don't... Oh!

Anyone could read that, Freya.

My friends, family, patients...

Yeah, that is the general idea of a blog(!)

Should've told me, Freya.

I'm sorry. I never, ever meant to hurt you.

I do the blog to be honest

and give people an insight into my life.

Mine too apparently, whether I like it or not!

All right, all right!

I should have said something, OK?

But I don't think you understand how big this has got.

I've got hundreds of followers now.

it's not just a little hobby. This is a valid social experiment.

-Got everything you need?

-I think so.

Great. Thanks again for the shopping.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

No.

-Thought you said you had fish?

-I did.

Fish...pizza.

-Still got your suit on?

-Mum, hadn't you better get going?

Make sure you open a window. It smells like Grimsby docks in here.

-I will. I'll see you tomorrow.

-All right. Bye.

Listen, sorry. I'm going to have to go.

I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?

OK, bye.

TELEVISION IS ON

-I made us some tea.

-Thank you.

Oh, don't!

Don't. Not in the mood.

Who was that?

Cherry.

Is she OK?

No, not really.

Thanks to your social experiment, she's now celebrating her birthday

with Mum and Dad instead of us. So, nice one(!)

-Sorry about that.

-Is everything OK?

Fine.

You look strung out.

Actually, it's not OK.

Was it your business partner? What happened?

She's such a piece of work. She's trying to claim

that the original concept for the site was her idea.

What are you going to do?

I won't give up, Kelly. I'll see her in court if I have to.

I'm so sorry, Jack.

I guess when you're successful,

it must feel like everybody wants a piece of you.

-People can be so deceitful.

-Yeah.

If it helps, that's not why I'm here.

Although if I'm honest, it is a huge turn-on for me.

Really?

Really.

I knew this wasn't going to work.

I don't want you anywhere near my daughter. I don't trust you.

I'd love to go to Paris.

Jack has a house there. Why doesn't he take you?

Yeah, Jack! Why don't you take me to your house in Paris?

She dumped you, didn't she?

I'm having a horrible time. You happy now?

Oh...my...God.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd