Daddy's Girl Doctors

Jack, I have to tell you something.

-You're married with seven kids?

-No!

I lied to you last night.

I want to be honest.

I've...never dated a businessman before.

You noticed, right?

I mean, eating lobster and everything...

This is all new to me.

But your dad's a millionaire - surely you're used to posh dinners.

I'm really not.

Mom and Daddy keep me away from all that.

They don't want guys dating me just cos I have money.

But I know that socialising and networking

are important for someone like you.

I won't embarrass you.

I can learn real fast.

Kelly, that stuff's not important. It's the person that counts.

That's so sweet.

And I need to be honest with you, too...

Yeah?

Later.

I took some shopping round to Jack and he hustled me out of the house.

I don't know what he's up to.

You still buy Jack's groceries?

He wouldn't eat properly otherwise.

And he's all on his own in that big house.

-Karen, have you finished that PowerPoint presentation?

-Yes.

-Nearly.

-I just want to go over it with Daniel before the meeting.

Right. Well...

-PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

Julia, it's Sally.

'Sally. Hello.'

I need a favour. I've got a really important meeting this evening, and my babysitter's let me down.

'Is there any chance you could come up and look after Chloe?'

I-It's very short notice, Sally.

-'To be honest, I do have an important meeting myself today.'

-Oh.

I thought I'd give you the chance to see Chloe,

as that's what you're supposed to want, but if it's not convenient...

Well, let me just have a think for a minute. Er...

If I rearrange and get Daniel to do the meeting, it's possible I could come up, yeah.

I should be back by ten, so there's no need to stay overnight.

Er...is Chloe settling in OK?

-Is she enjoying her school...

-I haven't really got time to chat now, Julia.

'If you can do it, then great. I'll need you here by four.'

I'll e-mail directions for you.

I am not at your beck and call, Sally.

I can't just drop everything and come all the way to Cheshire

-whenever you think you need help.

-Julia?!

Hm?

Ah.

Er, just rehearsing a speech. Do you ever do that?

Often.

Do I sound reasonable?

Hmm. What's Sally done now?

Oh, for heaven's sake.

She needs a babysitter TODAY

and she has practically ordered me to drive all the way to Cheshire.

Mind you, I suppose I AM the lucky one. Patrick isn't even allowed to see Chloe.

-Are you taking her some rubbish?

-Hm?

Oh, no, these are stuff I've had in the back of the car for ages.

Charity. I've haven't even had time to take THAT in!

She's not the only one that's busy around here!

And breathe, and relax.

Look on the positive side. Only a month ago, you thought you'd never see Chloe again.

Now you're spending time with her. That's what matters.

And relax.

His name's Jack.

Yes. He's, like, an internet guru.

Like the guy who invented Facebook - only he's much nicer.

(Who are you on the phone to?)

-My dad.

-In California?

My phone's out of credit. You don't mind, do you?

No, it's fine. I can afford it.

OK, Daddy.

Yes, I will.

Say hi to Mom.

Love you, too.

Bye.

So, you know you said you were looking for funds to take your business to the next level?

Well, Daddy might be able to help.

-Great.

-We're right in Silicon Valley.

He knows people who know people. He's been fixing this guy's limo, and...

I thought you said he worked in software.

Oh! Yeah, he does.

But he also fixes cars.

It's like a hobby.

He says it helps him think.

And lots of people bring in their cars to fix cos he's really good at it.

Anyway, er, I've given him your website address and he said he's going to check it out.

I'm really hungry. How about we get some brunch?

Good idea.

I thought you were going to be here by four.

-Er...I was stuck in traffic.

-You could've called and told me. I'm already running late.

Sally, I didn't come all this way for you to tell me off! If you need help, why don't you ask Patrick?

-Patrick's not part of the equation any more.

-Well, he is, actually, whether you like it or not,

because he's Chloe's father.

He forfeited any rights he had when he cheated on me!

If you behaved like this, I'm not surprised!

You know, I knew this wasn't going to work.

I don't want you anywhere near my daughter - I don't trust you.

-What?

-I'm just going to stay here and look after her myself.

-You're not even going to let me see her?

-I don't even want you in my house. I don't want you anywhere near my daughter.

-This is ridiculous!

You're inconveniencing yourself, your colleagues - and mine, by the way -

you let me drive here for nothing, just so you can make a point?! Are you really that vindictive?

-I don't like your tone.

-I don't care!

What kind of example is this to set Chloe?

At least I'm there for her. At least I haven't run off with someone else!

I'm sorry. I spoke out of turn.

-I'm used to it with your family.

-Just let me see her for a minute or two.

-I don't have to let you see her.

-I know you don't HAVE to. I'm asking you.

-Please.

-It would unsettle her.

And all this doesn't?!

I would like you to leave now.

Fine. Don't worry, I'm going.

Do you know something, Sally?

If this is what you call being a good parent,

heaven help that poor little girl.

So, what d'you want to do?

I don't have any classes.

Nor do I. But I've got an essay.

Why bother? You don't need a degree.

You have your own business.

Well, I want to be a lawyer.

And you can't buy a law degree, so I have to work at it like everyone else.

That's so sweet.

So principled.

Plus, you've totally got the grunge look.

No-one'd ever guess you were a millionaire.

-Did you wear this when you met the Queen?

-The Queen?

Yeah, when you went to Buckingham Palace.

You didn't really go to Buckingham Palace, did you?

No.

I don't know why I said that - it was stupid.

Is there anything else you haven't told me?

Jack, you said you wanted to be completely honest.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Yes, it is.

Yep, she is.

It's your dad.

Hey, Daddy.

SHE CRIES

SHE SNEEZES

Bless you, Nardee.

Chloe!

Daddy said he couldn't find your website.

Yeah.

Er, no. Someone's hacked into it, so I had to take it down.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Excuse me.

-What are YOU doing here?

-IMOGEN: It's my house as much as...

-Ssh!

Why?

Hello.

Hey.

Kelly, this is my sister, Imogen.

Imogen, Kelly.

Jack's sister? The brilliant artist? I've heard so much about you!

Being super-bright must run in your family.

Aren't you, like, totally in awe of the business Jack built up?

-Business?

-He was telling me about it last night.

How it felt to make his first million. Isn't it awesome?

Yeah. Totally awesome.

I didn't mean to scare you, Nardee.

I just want to see you. Mummy wouldn't let me.

Oh, Chloe, have you been hiding in the car all this time?

Am I in trouble?

No, sweetie, of course you're not. Come on.

Come on. There's a good girl.

Let's get you out.

-Nardee...

-Mm-hm?

Why were you crying?

Because I was being very silly,

because grown-ups ARE silly, sometimes.

I missed you.

Oh, sweetheart...

I missed you, too.

Cup of tea?

Come on.

-KELLY:

-In Venice, the art's everywhere.

You go into any church and the paintings are just there -

Titian, Da Vinci, Caravaggio...

Have you been?

Well, no. But I've heard about it.

I'd go to all those places if I had the money.

I've got the money, of course. Just not the time.

One day I'll go on, like, a whole European art tour.

Barcelona, Florence, the Uffizzi. Paris.

-I'd love to go to Paris.

-Well, Jack has a house there!

-Why doesn't he take you?

-Yeah, Jack, why don't you take me to your house in Paris?

Cos it's...still being done up. It's old.

And anyway, you need to finish your A-levels first.

Is it near the Louvre?

Just down the road.

Yeah. And you can see the Eiffel Tower from every window.

Immie, don't you need to be getting home and doing some homework?

I have to go. Imogen, it was lovely meeting you.

I'll see you out.

I had a really nice time.

So did I. We should do it again.

-Bye.

-Bye.

Nice one, Jack. Or should I call you Lord Sugar?

Don't start.

-OK.

Right, well, Daddy is driving up to meet us at my house.

Am I going to see Daddy?

-Yes, you are.

-Yes!

JULIA CHUCKLES

I'd better ring Mummy, as well, because she'll be going frantic.

Nardee, can I do some colouring?

Yes, of course you can, sweetheart, it's over there. Be careful.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Sally?'

Er, hi, it's Julia. I got your messages.

It's OK, she's with me.

Is she all right?

Yes, she's fine.

-I thought...

-'Yeah, I know. I know. But she's OK.'

I've been going out of my mind. I called you I don't know how many times.

-I had my phone switched off. I was driving.

-You took her?!

Hardly, Sally. She stowed away in my car.

I only just found her when I stopped for coffee.

Well, you must have talked her into it somehow.

Sally, look...

instead of just throwing accusations around,

why don't you stop and think for a minute why your daughter is so unhappy she runs away?

You and Patrick are so busy tearing each other apart

you haven't even begun to notice what this is doing to her!

This has gone on long enough.

Patrick is meeting us at my house. I would like you to come down, too.

-You can't make me be in the same room as that man.

-No.

I can't make you do anything.

If you want to stay in Cheshire and sulk, go ahead.

-'We'll work this out without you.'

-I can't just drop everything.

-'Really?'

You expected me to.

So, are you coming?

Sally?

OK. I'm on my way.

-Patrick.

-Is Chloe still here? Can I see her?

She's fine. She's upstairs asleep. She's exhausted, poor little thing.

Anyway, go in and see her but don't wake her up, OK?

Sally should be here any minute.

Have you got any whisky? I'll need a drink if I have to talk to her.

No, you don't.

You need to do this sober.

Anyway, you might have to drive home.

You're still not going to let me stay?

Well, that depends on what we manage to work out.

How much ARE you drinking these days?

Less since we split up.

She's enough to drive anyone to drink. Don't nag, though, Mum.

-SHE SIGHS

-I just worry about you, Patrick.

I'm not going to turn out like Dad, OK?

So, how is the ex? Still being as vile as ever? Completely irrational?

Seriously, do you think she's cracking up?

She's under a lot of stress.

There's a mate of mine, a divorce lawyer -

he reckons he could make a case for me to get sole custody of Chloe.

On what grounds?

On the grounds that Sally's a deranged, vindictive bitch.

To you, maybe - not to Chloe.

If you think you're going to get custody on those grounds, you're living in cloud cuckoo land.

Think about it. If I did, you'd be able to see a lot more of her.

You are going to drag Chloe through the courts,

and play the same manipulative game that Sally's playing,

and you expect ME to help you?

I don't think so, Patrick.

That's not why I asked you here.

Please, could you take that coffee through for me? I think that's Sally now.

It feels sneaky, googling him.

But you're SO going to do it anyway.

-There may be pictures.

-Is he Deppy?

Campbell, not every cute guy has to look like Johnny Depp.

Oh...my...God.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Hi.'

It's me. Listen, I've had, like, this total disaster.

-My laptop's crashed.

-'Don't panic.'

-Have you tried switching it off and switching it on again?

-Yes.

-I've lost everything! All my work.

-'Don't you back it up?

'It's really simple. You don't even need an external hard drive, just...'

I know what I should've done but I didn't do it.

Could you come over and help me?

Please?

'Yeah, I'll come over.'

-I wanted to talk to you anyway.

-'Thank you.'

Here's my address.

Right. You two need to have a sensible discussion

about access, so that you can both see Chloe.

-I'm going to try and mediate.

-Round one.

-No gouging, biting, hair-pulling.

-That's enough, Patrick.

If he's not going to take it seriously... How can you mediate? You can't be objective.

-You're bound to be on his side.

-That's what YOU think.

-I came round here at Christmas and she threw me out!

-Really?

I didn't know that.

-Actually, Julia, I'll have a glass of water or a cup of tea or something.

-Sure, come through.

-Hi.

-Hey?

This is Jack, the guy I was telling you about.

-This is Soup.

-Hi.

-Sue?

-No, really, Soup. It's a nickname. Well, obviously.

My mom called me Campbell. So...

It's, like, totally traumatised her. She's had years of therapy.

Kelly tells me you're some kind of computer genius.

I'm a software designer, not hardware. Still...

There it is.

D'you want some tea?

I owe you an apology.

Just a bit.

We've always got on so well.

I don't want that to be ruined because of Patrick.

We've got so much in common.

We're both career women, we're ambitious.

And we've both been cheated on and let down by lying, useless men.

Yes, so I do know what it feels like.

You look shattered.

I haven't been sleeping.

SHE SIGHS

It's hard doing this alone.

Of course it's hard.

Chloe is a lovely little girl, but it's exhausting

bringing up an eight-year-old and trying to hold down a...

You know, a high position.

You need some help. If you would let anyone help you.

Relying on Patrick...

Hey, don't start. I didn't bring you here to bitch about him.

And don't you dare talk to me about sisterhood and bonding

when you've spent months persecuting me for something that Patrick did!

So...

lemon and ginger or camomile?

What are you two talking about?

Oh, the egotism.

I know you might think you're the centre of the universe, Patrick,

-but not every conversation is about you.

-Actually, we were talking about you, amongst other things.

I knew you'd take her side.

-So the two of you are plotting against me?

-For crying out loud, Patrick!

I'm not plotting against anyone. I'm not taking anybody's side except Chloe's.

-I just want the best for her...

-That's what we all want.

Great. Well, we have something in common, don't we?

Right. Here we go...

Kelly turned it off.

OK. So I'll just switch it back on.

Er...

-Where's the, er...?

-Right there.

So it is.

So, switching on.

Just give it a minute to reboot.

So, er, Kelly said you've got a house in New York.

Yeah.

Whereabouts? I'm from Brooklyn.

Oh, um, it's...right on Central Park.

Oh, er, near Ground Zero, then.

Yeah. It's near there.

Well, there you go.

Most computers back up your work every few minutes,

so you shouldn't have lost too much.

You've never been to New York in your life.

I probably don't know it as well as you do, but...

But nothing. Central Park is nowhere near Ground Zero.

Was this a trick question?

Yeah. You lied.

This is how it's going to work.

You each take turns to speak.

The other one listens, and no interrupting.

Who's going to go first?

Look, I know things have broken down between us.

And I take most of the responsibility for that.

But you're not just punishing me - you're punishing Chloe, as well.

Have you any idea what the last few months have been like? One phone call on Christmas Day.

Not being able to see her.

I don't want to take her away from you, Sal, I just...

want to be there for her when she grows up. I want to support her.

She's the only good thing in my life at the moment.

What happened to the great earth-shattering love affair?

She dumped you, didn't she? After all that.

Sally.

I'm having a horrible time.

-You happy now?

-Here we go. Patrick's two great standbys -

self-pity and whisky.

You can be as angry and bitter as you want, Sally, but just let me see Chloe.

Even you admit I'm a good father.

Did you seriously think I wouldn't google you?

Check your Facebook page?

Your website's not down, it doesn't exist.

-I was going to tell you...

-Why did you lie?

-C'mon.

-Would you really have come back to mine if I hadn't told you I was a millionaire?

-Yes, I would.

I didn't know that. And it's all very well you taking the moral high ground.

-You've lied just as much! That stuff about your Dad being a millionaire.

-You told him what?!

I worked it out. You used me.

Free drink, free food, free calls.

-I never would've if I knew you didn't have...

-And as for Silicon Valley...

I AM from Silicon Valley!

So, Daddy's not a millionaire.

He runs a garage.

Mom's a waitress.

So why didn't you tell me that in the first place?

I never thought you'd look at me if you knew I didn't have any money!

British guys want to marry rich women.

That's what they do in Richard Curtis movies.

You're so naive.

And you, you're like this... Walter Mitty fantasist!

It was on Google!

How you played detective and nearly got yourself killed by this insane forensics guy.

I caught a murderer. You just lied.

You lied first.

When we first got together, you encouraged me to be ambitious.

You said you found it sexy.

And then I got my first real promotion,

started earning more than you, and you said that you felt emasculated.

You've never supported or encouraged me in anything since - far from it.

Every time I achieve something, you make me feel guilty.

Sally. Let's not pick over what went wrong with your marriage right now.

Let's just focus on Chloe.

I AM. You say that you're such a great dad,

but are you going to do that to Chloe? Bring her up to feel that she shouldn't be too good at anything

in case her future boyfriend or husband might feel threatened by it?

-Of course I'm not going to do that to Chloe.

-Why not? You did it to me!

I didn't say I felt emasculated.

-You did!

-I said I couldn't compete with you.

-Who's asking you to?

-Marriage isn't a competition!

-I think we're getting off the subject again.

Let's get back to Chloe.

Sally, when do you think you will need a babysitter?

Patrick, when are you free?

You set me up. You brought me here so you could humiliate me

in front of your friend. I fixed your computer.

-It wasn't even broken.

-So that was a lie, as well?

Fine. You can tell your lies and play your games with someone else, because I'm not interested!

The sex was terrible, by the way.

Not what you were saying last night.

You don't even know how to satisfy a woman.

-You didn't...

-Look, I'm off.

Can you belie...?

SHE GRUNTS

So when Chloe is with Patrick, they could both stay here.

I've got plenty of space. You could bring her down Friday night,

-and you could come up from Guildford.

-So you'd be like the middleman.

-Middle-woman.

-I'd be happy to do that.

Least I'd get to see her.

So...

..shall we give it a go? Starting this weekend?

-Well...

-They ARE both here.

And I'll bring her back on Sunday.

I suppose it makes sense.

-Sounds good to me.

-DOOR OPENS

Ah, someone's awake!

Nardee?

DADDY!

Hey, sweetheart.

MUSIC: "Mad World" by Gary Jules

You all right?

You look fantastic. Have you been well?

Oh, give me a hug!

-Wow!

-HE CHUCKLES

# Mad world

# Mad world

# Their tears are filling up their glasses

# No expression

# No expressi-ion

# Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

# No tomorrow

# No tomorro-ow

# Children waiting for the day... #

Mummy, can you stay too?

No, sweetheart. But I'll call you tomorrow,

and I'll see you on Sunday. OK?

Now go and eat your supper.

Are you sure you won't stay?

Er...I'd better go.

-Well, text me, let me know you got back OK.

-Yeah, will do.

She'll be fine.

She's been telling Patrick about her new school.

-Yeah.

-It's all right.

Thanks, Julia.

We needed to sort this out.

Thank you for letting me see her.

# Mad world

# Mad world. #

If you can't get a dozen people through a simple course without

acting like a demented school master, I don't want you on my team.

The best thing for stress

is a bit of uncomplicated, casual, sweaty sex. Trust me.

-She's addicted.

-To blogging?

Yeah, it happens. I've read about it.

-It's a ridiculous thing to say.

-No more than what he's saying.

-I would like you to go now.

-Are you kicking me out?

-Yes.