Poison Ivy Doctors


Poison Ivy

Daniel gets more than he bargained for when he attends to a patient at a lap dancing club. Jack faces his responsibilities as a journalist, and Kevin loses it with Daisy.


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Transcript


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Stop it...

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..or I'll vomit all over you.

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Pathetic!

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OK, so, we're still on for lunch?

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No, it's just that... Listen, babe.

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I'll tell you when I see you.

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Yeah. OK. Bye, Daisy.

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PHONE BEEPS

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Eloise, it's me.

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We need a doctor today, so sort it out.

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OK, I'll be there in an hour.

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Hello, is that Mrs Fisher?

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You don't know me, but...

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I've been having an affair with your husband.

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I'm really sorry, Mrs Stoddard,

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I really didn't know he was married.

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Mrs Wood?

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I just thought you should know,

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that your husband's cheating on you.

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I've been sleeping with him for weeks.

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Every lunchtime we have the most amazing sex imaginable.

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Well, could you not go to A&E? I see.

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Excuse me. Dr Clay, could you fit in another call?

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Someone has been injured at the, er, Poison Femme club.

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-I can't. I'm really stressed as it is.

-I can do it.

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What about your morning surgery?

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I finish at 12. I can do it then.

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For the sick and needy, Mrs Tembe, I'll go the extra mile.

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A doctor will be with you sometime after lunch.

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My pleasure. Goodbye.

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-HE LAUGHS

-What is so funny?

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Poison Femme? It's a lap-dancing club.

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Ah! It will be like a child in a sweet shop!

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Yeah, still lecturing at the university.

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The students are loving it. Paradise Lost this term. OK.

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Bye, Mummy. I love you.

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Cor, fancy it, darling?

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Come on, then! You couldn't handle me.

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MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC

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Hello, sorry to bother you. Where's the office? Lovely.

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Eloise has hurt her ankle while practising on the pole.

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Her routine is extremely physical.

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I'd have taken her to A&E, but the poor thing can't even stand on it.

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-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Ah! Please. It's very painful.

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-OK, let's take a look.

-I'll leave you to it.

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-Is this where it is?

-Higher.

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-A little higher.

-Well, it can't be your ankle, then.

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Higher still.

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There?

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Higher.

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If I go any higher...

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-You're not injured at all, are you?

-Apologies, Doctor. It was my idea.

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What's going on?

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Let me...enlighten you.

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Ooh, er...

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that's inappropriate.

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Sorry. It's just that I've got a bit of a thing for doctors...

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..and threesomes.

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You're my patient, so...

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And besides, I've got a partner, so I...

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Well, I won't tell if you won't.

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I'm sorry. I can't.

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I just can't, sorry.

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-Karen's got the day off, I'm afraid.

-Great!

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I wanted to congratulate you on your article.

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It was extremely well written.

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-Thanks.

-And the local press picked it up, so it shows

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you've got your finger on the pulse. A talent in itself.

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That's not how my family see it. You wouldn't belief the grief I got.

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A journalist's dilemma. The cost of telling the truth.

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I'm sick of it. You know what, if they can't see what I'm trying to say, then stuff 'em.

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Well, perhaps your talents are best suited to the gutter press.

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-This is starting to sound like a lecture.

-All I'm saying

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is you can't ignore the impact.

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-I haven't done anything wrong!

-Your family's very upset,

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and apparently Imogen has taken it quite badly.

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I know. I know, but I can't change that.

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So you've done all you can to make them understand?

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A good journalist takes responsibility for what he's written.

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-Oh, Kevin.

-Hi. Sorry I'm late.

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-This is Daddy.

-Daddy?

-But you can call me Arthur.

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-Nice to meet you.

-I thought I'd surprise you.

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-Yeah, you've definitely done that.

-Shall we?

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I'm surprised you managed to pull yourself away

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from that den of iniquity.

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So am I! Jimmi, you have no idea the morning I've just had.

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-Here we go.

-Naked girls everywhere. I didn't know where to look!

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-No! You're joking.

-They were all over me.

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-Yeah, in your dreams.

-It's the truth, mate.

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Two of them even stripped naked and offered me a menage a trois. Still got it.

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-Bet they were right old boilers.

-They were fit.

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One was French and the other was the owner, Violet what's-her-face.

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-Violet Rush?

-Yeah.

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She was a regular down the station indecency charges mainly.

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-Yeah, she was pretty wild.

-Apparently she set up some dodgy website.

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-Porn?

-They wanted to take you for a different type of ride.

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You've been done.

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They were up for it, my friend. And, anyway, nothing happened.

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A doctor with two naked women in a strip club?

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They'll put anything online now.

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Take a little bit of footage, make it look a lot more than it was. Oh, check online if I was you.

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So what did you want to talk to me about?

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Oh, er, nothing important. Yeah, boring stuff, really. It can wait.

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OK. Well, I'm going to go and powder my nose.

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Leave my two favourite men together.

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Sorry for turning up unannounced.

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I suppose you were hoping to spend some quality time alone with Daisy?

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No, not at all. I didn't mean...

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It's just that Daisy rarely asks me to meet her boyfriends any more.

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You're obviously very special to her.

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How's it going?

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How was your exam yesterday?

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She's got the day off.

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Immie, please, you've got to believe how sorry I am.

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After everything you've been through, do you honestly think I meant to hurt you?

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You're my little sister.

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Well, say something.

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You're not going anywhere till you talk to me.

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Tell me what an idiot I am, anything!

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You're the one person I really thought I could trust.

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I still am.

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Everybody hates me.

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Come here.

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I swear to you, I'll never do anything like this again.

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Poison...Femme...Club.

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SUGGESTIVE MUSIC, WOMAN SIGHS AND LAUGHS

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'I only came to measure the windows.'

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'Well, perhaps you could measure me instead.'

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-Some test results from...

-WOMAN LAUGHS

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This isn't what it looks like.

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You disgusting snake!

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Yeah, I can explain.

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There is no excuse for filth!

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Log on tomorrow and watch me, Poison Ivy,

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seducing a real-life doctor.

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So, Kevin...

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..where's it that you're from?

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England.

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I meant, what city?

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We moved around. Midlands mostly.

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And is the medical profession in the blood? Your father a doctor?

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My father? No. I, er...

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Daddy, will you stop with the 50 questions, please?

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You can't blame me for being inquisitive.

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-Not after your past boyfriends.

-Here we go.

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Typical, lazy, rich kids, the lot of them.

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The type that thinks the world owes them a living.

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I'm just glad that you're finally with someone suitable.

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Type I'd always hoped you'd end up with.

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Oh, stop it! What's he like?

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I'm not ready for marriage just yet.

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PHONE BEEPS

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Ah, um, sorry, emergency. It's a patient. I'm going to have to go.

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-Oh, no.

-Sorry, can't be helped. It looks like he's in a bad way.

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Of course, duty calls.

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-You'll give me a ring?

-Yeah, yeah.

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Lovely to meet you.

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Bye.

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-Can I get you a drink?

-Cut the act.

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Oh, is Dr Granger annoyed with me?

0:12:390:12:42

-I want the footage.

-Hm!

-How can you do this to people?

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It's half the fun using real-life people. Much better than actors.

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-It's what makes the site so popular.

-You don't give a damn, do you?

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Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.

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Paradise Lost, Milton.

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I'm not just a pretty face.

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OK, I want the footage. or I call the police.

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I wonder what your partner would think of your performance.

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Not to mention the GMC.

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OK, please, just give it to me.

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Ah, ah!

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You want it, then beg for it.

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-What?

-On your knees.

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-You're not serious?

-Deadly.

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Come on, do it for Mummy.

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No.

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Silly boy.

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SUGGESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS

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Those are not my hands.

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And that...!

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If you come to my house later, we may come to some agreement.

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You do exactly as you're told,

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and I may give you the master copy.

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You make my skin crawl.

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-She's definitely going to upload the footage?

-Uh-huh.

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Unless I go round to her place and...

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Should call the police.

0:14:330:14:35

Although it'll be difficult proving that Violet uploaded it.

0:14:350:14:39

The internet's a legal nightmare.

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She's threatened to tell Zara and the GMC if I do that.

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Can't do nothing. Someone's going to see it eventually.

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-What the hell are you doing?

-Just getting an establishing shot.

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-What?

-Before we lead into the main action.

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Give me that. How about that?

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Now, that was a mistake. I'm going to make sure

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that everyone that counts sees your BIG performance.

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This is getting bloody ridiculous!

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-Eloise.

-It's Eloise, isn't it?

-Go away.

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Please try and get her to change her mind.

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There's a lot at stake here. I could lose everything. Please.

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It won't do any good.

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Look, you don't understand.

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My partner and I, we're trying to have a baby.

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I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't help.

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She wouldn't listen to me.

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You don't know what she's like.

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You're her friend. Please try.

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She ain't got any friends.

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She's just a spoilt, little rich girl

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that gets her kicks out of controlling people.

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-There must be something I can do.

-Just do what she says.

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Great(!)

0:16:000:16:02

Guess who?

0:16:050:16:06

-What? What are you doing here?

-To see you, silly.

0:16:060:16:09

No, I meant, I saw you about an hour ago.

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I want to tell you how much Daddy liked you. Isn't it great?

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That's it. Look, I can't take this!

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I'm sick of it, all right?

0:16:170:16:19

-No more pussyfooting around.

-Kev...?

0:16:190:16:21

No, that's it! You're always in my face!

0:16:210:16:25

-Hi.

-Hello. What are you doing here?

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-I've just been to that new patisserie around the corner, and I got you this.

-Thanks.

0:16:430:16:48

Don't get all gooey on me.

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-I've already threatened to vomit on you once today.

-Yes.

0:16:500:16:53

I'll have it later, I'm not hungry.

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Since when do you have to be hungry to eat cake?

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Mmm.

0:16:580:17:00

What's the matter with you?

0:17:010:17:03

Nothing.

0:17:030:17:05

-Has something happened?

-No!

-What is it?

0:17:050:17:08

Daniel?

0:17:100:17:11

OK, er...

0:17:120:17:14

OK. I went to see a patient earlier.

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And?

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And...no matter what I say to her, she won't listen.

0:17:230:17:27

-I know.

-You do?

0:17:270:17:30

I had exactly the same thing today with Mrs Begley.

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Refused to take her heart medication. Stubborn as a mule.

0:17:320:17:35

No point getting het up like some hapless trainee.

0:17:350:17:38

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, stupid.

0:17:380:17:41

-I need to crack on.

-All right.

0:17:410:17:44

-I've booked us a restaurant for after work.

-Great.

0:17:450:17:50

Stop worrying about a stupid patient.

0:17:500:17:53

Excuse me. Are you all right?

0:17:580:18:02

No, I'm fine.

0:18:020:18:03

It's all my own fault, anyway.

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-I don't think anything is ever really one person...

-It is. I'm too clingy.

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I think I just need to give him some space or something.

0:18:110:18:16

Actually, I don't think that would have made much difference.

0:18:160:18:19

How do you mean?

0:18:190:18:20

Well, it did seem as if he was trying to end it.

0:18:200:18:23

What?!

0:18:230:18:25

It looked rather final.

0:18:250:18:27

I should have realised.

0:18:290:18:31

It's all right. Listen, just forget about him.

0:18:320:18:36

Plenty more fish in the sea.

0:18:360:18:38

You can do a lot better than that.

0:18:380:18:40

Really.

0:18:420:18:44

Jimmi, I've told you already, I can't tell Zara. She'd leave me.

0:18:490:18:53

I don't know. I've got to sort it somehow, though.

0:18:540:18:58

See you.

0:18:590:19:00

Julia, I'm sorry about earlier.

0:19:180:19:21

-Well, I don't think it's me you should be apologising to.

-Sorry?

0:19:210:19:25

You know, you were unnecessarily cruel and unkind to that girl.

0:19:250:19:29

Look, it may have looked that way, but...

0:19:290:19:31

-Please spare me your excuses.

-She wouldn't take the hint.

0:19:310:19:34

You were immature and totally lacking in any compassion

0:19:340:19:38

and those are not good qualities in a doctor, Kevin.

0:19:380:19:42

PHONE RINGS

0:19:590:20:01

-I thought we were going to dinner. Where are you?

-I, erm...

-Well?

0:20:040:20:09

Something urgent came up at the campus.

0:20:090:20:11

-And I've got to stay late.

-Great(!)

-Sorry.

0:20:110:20:14

Well, just make sure you make it up to me later.

0:20:140:20:17

Yeah, I will. I'll spoil you rotten.

0:20:170:20:21

Thank you!

0:20:350:20:36

DOOR SLAMS

0:20:460:20:49

Here he is. No doubt with his tail between his legs.

0:20:500:20:53

Do not fly off the handle.

0:20:530:20:55

I really don't want another argument.

0:21:000:21:02

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

0:21:020:21:05

Are you now?

0:21:050:21:06

Yeah. Big style.

0:21:060:21:09

-And you think that makes everything all right?

-No.

0:21:120:21:15

But I don't know what else to say.

0:21:170:21:20

I tried to make a serious point

0:21:210:21:23

and it was supposed to be anonymous, but...

0:21:230:21:25

..it all got twisted.

0:21:260:21:27

You're saying it wasn't your fault?

0:21:270:21:30

Course not. I know I've only got myself to blame.

0:21:300:21:34

I was naive and stupid.

0:21:340:21:37

Anyway, now you know.

0:21:400:21:42

It's good to see you're being so grown up about it.

0:21:420:21:45

Isn't it, Rob?

0:21:450:21:47

Rob?

0:21:480:21:49

Yes.

0:21:530:21:54

Yes, it is.

0:21:560:21:57

And...

0:21:570:22:00

I suppose I'm...

0:22:000:22:01

..I'm sorry as well. I'm sorry for losing it.

0:22:030:22:07

Thought you were going to hit me.

0:22:090:22:11

Don't be daft.

0:22:130:22:15

I knew you'd come.

0:22:220:22:24

-Let's just get this over with.

-Get it over with!

0:22:240:22:27

You're going to be my plaything for as long as I want.

0:22:270:22:31

There's a wet room at the top of the stairs.

0:22:310:22:33

Go and take a shower and then wait for me in my bedroom.

0:22:330:22:37

Do it.

0:22:370:22:39

Good boy.

0:22:420:22:43

You won't find it here.

0:23:050:23:07

Now clean this mess up.

0:23:070:23:09

HE LAUGHS

0:23:090:23:11

Stop it.

0:23:110:23:12

I said stop it!

0:23:120:23:14

Now do as I say.

0:23:150:23:16

I just remembered what your mate Eloise said.

0:23:160:23:19

-That you're a spoilt, little rich kid.

-And?

0:23:190:23:22

Well, it just got me thinking.

0:23:220:23:24

Rich kids normally have rich, well-to-do parents.

0:23:240:23:27

And I bet they've no idea what you do for a living, have they?

0:23:270:23:31

-You don't know anything about them.

-No, no, I don't.

0:23:310:23:34

But I do know their phone number. HE LAUGHS

0:23:340:23:37

Give that back!

0:23:370:23:38

Don't play games with me.

0:23:400:23:42

I'm not playing games.

0:23:440:23:45

-Don't. My mum, she's not well.

-Really?

0:23:470:23:50

-She'd be devastated.

-Yeah.

0:23:500:23:53

Here, take it!

0:23:540:23:56

-It's not enough.

-Please.

0:23:590:24:02

I'm begging you!

0:24:030:24:04

Oh, you're begging now are you? Get down on your knees, then.

0:24:040:24:08

-If that's what it takes.

-Mm-hm.

0:24:090:24:11

It's not nice, is it?

0:24:130:24:14

To think you're about to lose everything you care about?

0:24:140:24:18

I wouldn't lower myself.

0:24:200:24:22

Go on, get out.

0:24:230:24:26

Now, what is it with you?

0:24:300:24:33

How many lives have you ruined?

0:24:330:24:35

I'm no different to you or any other man.

0:24:370:24:40

You all use women. I'm just readdressing the balance.

0:24:400:24:43

Huh. You need help.

0:24:430:24:46

GET OUT!

0:24:460:24:47

Hi. Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way.

0:24:580:25:02

Everything's sorted. I'm all yours.

0:25:020:25:05

So now the air's cleared, maybe we should all do something together.

0:25:400:25:45

-How do you mean?

-I dunno.

0:25:450:25:47

Maybe a birthday lunch for Dad?

0:25:480:25:50

All of us?

0:25:500:25:53

-That sounds like a good idea.

-It's too soon.

-Come on, Dad.

0:25:530:25:56

I can't just forget what's happened.

0:25:560:25:58

And you can't hold it against her forever, either.

0:25:580:26:01

She's not who I thought. I don't know her any more.

0:26:010:26:03

Listen to yourself.

0:26:030:26:05

You said you didn't want an argument.

0:26:050:26:07

You really have no idea, do you?.

0:26:070:26:09

Did you even read my article?

0:26:090:26:11

Why?

0:26:110:26:13

Has it honestly never occurred to you why she did what she did?

0:26:130:26:16

Come on, then, spit it out.

0:26:180:26:19

-She went off the rails after what happened with you two.

-Hang on...

0:26:190:26:23

It was one thing after another!

0:26:230:26:25

She had to cope with the pregnancy, you two splitting up, Mum seeing other blokes.

0:26:250:26:30

Think about it.

0:26:300:26:32

It's no wonder she screwed up.

0:26:320:26:34

-I cannot help it if a patient is seriously ill.

-No, but I can,

0:26:440:26:47

because I am a doctor.

0:26:470:26:48

Your test results tell us your heart is failing.

0:26:480:26:51

Do you think there is a danger

0:26:510:26:53

of relationship troubles affecting the workplace?

0:26:530:26:56

-Is that why you're here? Because of your dad?

-I think I'm having a baby.

0:26:560:27:00

I keep daydreaming about happy families

0:27:000:27:02

and we don't even know if there's a baby down there yet.

0:27:020:27:05

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:210:27:24

E-mail [email protected]

0:27:240:27:27

Daniel gets more than he bargained for when he attends to a patient at a lap dancing club. Jack faces up to his responsibilities as a journalist, while Kevin's immaturity is evident when he loses it with Daisy.


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