Poison Ivy Doctors

Stop it...

..or I'll vomit all over you.

Pathetic!

OK, so, we're still on for lunch?

No, it's just that... Listen, babe.

I'll tell you when I see you.

Yeah. OK. Bye, Daisy.

PHONE BEEPS

Eloise, it's me.

We need a doctor today, so sort it out.

OK, I'll be there in an hour.

Hello, is that Mrs Fisher?

You don't know me, but...

I've been having an affair with your husband.

I'm really sorry, Mrs Stoddard,

I really didn't know he was married.

Mrs Wood?

I just thought you should know,

that your husband's cheating on you.

I've been sleeping with him for weeks.

Every lunchtime we have the most amazing sex imaginable.

Well, could you not go to A&E? I see.

Excuse me. Dr Clay, could you fit in another call?

Someone has been injured at the, er, Poison Femme club.

-I can't. I'm really stressed as it is.

-I can do it.

What about your morning surgery?

I finish at 12. I can do it then.

For the sick and needy, Mrs Tembe, I'll go the extra mile.

A doctor will be with you sometime after lunch.

My pleasure. Goodbye.

-HE LAUGHS

-What is so funny?

Poison Femme? It's a lap-dancing club.

Ah! It will be like a child in a sweet shop!

Yeah, still lecturing at the university.

The students are loving it. Paradise Lost this term. OK.

Bye, Mummy. I love you.

Cor, fancy it, darling?

Come on, then! You couldn't handle me.

MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC

Hello, sorry to bother you. Where's the office? Lovely.

Eloise has hurt her ankle while practising on the pole.

Her routine is extremely physical.

I'd have taken her to A&E, but the poor thing can't even stand on it.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Ah! Please. It's very painful.

-OK, let's take a look.

-I'll leave you to it.

-Is this where it is?

-Higher.

-A little higher.

-Well, it can't be your ankle, then.

Higher still.

There?

Higher.

If I go any higher...

-You're not injured at all, are you?

-Apologies, Doctor. It was my idea.

What's going on?

Let me...enlighten you.

Ooh, er...

that's inappropriate.

Sorry. It's just that I've got a bit of a thing for doctors...

..and threesomes.

You're my patient, so...

And besides, I've got a partner, so I...

Well, I won't tell if you won't.

I'm sorry. I can't.

I just can't, sorry.

-Karen's got the day off, I'm afraid.

-Great!

I wanted to congratulate you on your article.

It was extremely well written.

-Thanks.

-And the local press picked it up, so it shows

you've got your finger on the pulse. A talent in itself.

That's not how my family see it. You wouldn't belief the grief I got.

A journalist's dilemma. The cost of telling the truth.

I'm sick of it. You know what, if they can't see what I'm trying to say, then stuff 'em.

Well, perhaps your talents are best suited to the gutter press.

-This is starting to sound like a lecture.

-All I'm saying

is you can't ignore the impact.

-I haven't done anything wrong!

-Your family's very upset,

and apparently Imogen has taken it quite badly.

I know. I know, but I can't change that.

So you've done all you can to make them understand?

A good journalist takes responsibility for what he's written.

-Oh, Kevin.

-Hi. Sorry I'm late.

-This is Daddy.

-Daddy?

-But you can call me Arthur.

-Nice to meet you.

-I thought I'd surprise you.

-Yeah, you've definitely done that.

-Shall we?

I'm surprised you managed to pull yourself away

from that den of iniquity.

So am I! Jimmi, you have no idea the morning I've just had.

-Here we go.

-Naked girls everywhere. I didn't know where to look!

-No! You're joking.

-They were all over me.

-Yeah, in your dreams.

-It's the truth, mate.

Two of them even stripped naked and offered me a menage a trois. Still got it.

-Bet they were right old boilers.

-They were fit.

One was French and the other was the owner, Violet what's-her-face.

-Violet Rush?

-Yeah.

She was a regular down the station indecency charges mainly.

-Yeah, she was pretty wild.

-Apparently she set up some dodgy website.

-Porn?

-They wanted to take you for a different type of ride.

You've been done.

They were up for it, my friend. And, anyway, nothing happened.

A doctor with two naked women in a strip club?

They'll put anything online now.

Take a little bit of footage, make it look a lot more than it was. Oh, check online if I was you.

So what did you want to talk to me about?

Oh, er, nothing important. Yeah, boring stuff, really. It can wait.

OK. Well, I'm going to go and powder my nose.

Leave my two favourite men together.

Sorry for turning up unannounced.

I suppose you were hoping to spend some quality time alone with Daisy?

No, not at all. I didn't mean...

It's just that Daisy rarely asks me to meet her boyfriends any more.

You're obviously very special to her.

How's it going?

How was your exam yesterday?

She's got the day off.

Immie, please, you've got to believe how sorry I am.

After everything you've been through, do you honestly think I meant to hurt you?

You're my little sister.

Well, say something.

You're not going anywhere till you talk to me.

Tell me what an idiot I am, anything!

You're the one person I really thought I could trust.

I still am.

Everybody hates me.

Come here.

I swear to you, I'll never do anything like this again.

Poison...Femme...Club.

SUGGESTIVE MUSIC, WOMAN SIGHS AND LAUGHS

'I only came to measure the windows.'

'Well, perhaps you could measure me instead.'

-Some test results from...

-WOMAN LAUGHS

This isn't what it looks like.

You disgusting snake!

Yeah, I can explain.

There is no excuse for filth!

Log on tomorrow and watch me, Poison Ivy,

seducing a real-life doctor.

So, Kevin...

..where's it that you're from?

England.

I meant, what city?

We moved around. Midlands mostly.

And is the medical profession in the blood? Your father a doctor?

My father? No. I, er...

Daddy, will you stop with the 50 questions, please?

You can't blame me for being inquisitive.

-Not after your past boyfriends.

-Here we go.

Typical, lazy, rich kids, the lot of them.

The type that thinks the world owes them a living.

I'm just glad that you're finally with someone suitable.

Type I'd always hoped you'd end up with.

Oh, stop it! What's he like?

I'm not ready for marriage just yet.

PHONE BEEPS

Ah, um, sorry, emergency. It's a patient. I'm going to have to go.

-Oh, no.

-Sorry, can't be helped. It looks like he's in a bad way.

Of course, duty calls.

-You'll give me a ring?

-Yeah, yeah.

Lovely to meet you.

Bye.

-Can I get you a drink?

-Cut the act.

Oh, is Dr Granger annoyed with me?

-I want the footage.

-Hm!

-How can you do this to people?

It's half the fun using real-life people. Much better than actors.

-It's what makes the site so popular.

-You don't give a damn, do you?

Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.

Paradise Lost, Milton.

I'm not just a pretty face.

OK, I want the footage. or I call the police.

I wonder what your partner would think of your performance.

Not to mention the GMC.

OK, please, just give it to me.

Ah, ah!

You want it, then beg for it.

-What?

-On your knees.

-You're not serious?

-Deadly.

Come on, do it for Mummy.

No.

Silly boy.

SUGGESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS

Those are not my hands.

And that...!

If you come to my house later, we may come to some agreement.

You do exactly as you're told,

and I may give you the master copy.

You make my skin crawl.

-She's definitely going to upload the footage?

-Uh-huh.

Unless I go round to her place and...

Should call the police.

Although it'll be difficult proving that Violet uploaded it.

The internet's a legal nightmare.

She's threatened to tell Zara and the GMC if I do that.

Can't do nothing. Someone's going to see it eventually.

-What the hell are you doing?

-Just getting an establishing shot.

-What?

-Before we lead into the main action.

Give me that. How about that?

Now, that was a mistake. I'm going to make sure

that everyone that counts sees your BIG performance.

This is getting bloody ridiculous!

-Eloise.

-It's Eloise, isn't it?

-Go away.

Please try and get her to change her mind.

There's a lot at stake here. I could lose everything. Please.

It won't do any good.

Look, you don't understand.

My partner and I, we're trying to have a baby.

I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't help.

She wouldn't listen to me.

You don't know what she's like.

You're her friend. Please try.

She ain't got any friends.

She's just a spoilt, little rich girl

that gets her kicks out of controlling people.

-There must be something I can do.

-Just do what she says.

Great(!)

Guess who?

-What? What are you doing here?

-To see you, silly.

No, I meant, I saw you about an hour ago.

I want to tell you how much Daddy liked you. Isn't it great?

That's it. Look, I can't take this!

I'm sick of it, all right?

-No more pussyfooting around.

-Kev...?

No, that's it! You're always in my face!

-Hi.

-Hello. What are you doing here?

-I've just been to that new patisserie around the corner, and I got you this.

-Thanks.

Don't get all gooey on me.

-I've already threatened to vomit on you once today.

-Yes.

I'll have it later, I'm not hungry.

Since when do you have to be hungry to eat cake?

Mmm.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

-Has something happened?

-No!

-What is it?

Daniel?

OK, er...

OK. I went to see a patient earlier.

And?

And...no matter what I say to her, she won't listen.

-I know.

-You do?

I had exactly the same thing today with Mrs Begley.

Refused to take her heart medication. Stubborn as a mule.

No point getting het up like some hapless trainee.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, stupid.

-I need to crack on.

-All right.

-I've booked us a restaurant for after work.

-Great.

Stop worrying about a stupid patient.

Excuse me. Are you all right?

No, I'm fine.

It's all my own fault, anyway.

-I don't think anything is ever really one person...

-It is. I'm too clingy.

I think I just need to give him some space or something.

Actually, I don't think that would have made much difference.

How do you mean?

Well, it did seem as if he was trying to end it.

What?!

It looked rather final.

I should have realised.

It's all right. Listen, just forget about him.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

You can do a lot better than that.

Really.

Jimmi, I've told you already, I can't tell Zara. She'd leave me.

I don't know. I've got to sort it somehow, though.

See you.

Julia, I'm sorry about earlier.

-Well, I don't think it's me you should be apologising to.

-Sorry?

You know, you were unnecessarily cruel and unkind to that girl.

Look, it may have looked that way, but...

-Please spare me your excuses.

-She wouldn't take the hint.

You were immature and totally lacking in any compassion

and those are not good qualities in a doctor, Kevin.

PHONE RINGS

-I thought we were going to dinner. Where are you?

-I, erm...

-Well?

Something urgent came up at the campus.

-And I've got to stay late.

-Great(!)

-Sorry.

Well, just make sure you make it up to me later.

Yeah, I will. I'll spoil you rotten.

Thank you!

DOOR SLAMS

Here he is. No doubt with his tail between his legs.

Do not fly off the handle.

I really don't want another argument.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

Are you now?

Yeah. Big style.

-And you think that makes everything all right?

-No.

But I don't know what else to say.

I tried to make a serious point

and it was supposed to be anonymous, but...

..it all got twisted.

You're saying it wasn't your fault?

Course not. I know I've only got myself to blame.

I was naive and stupid.

Anyway, now you know.

It's good to see you're being so grown up about it.

Isn't it, Rob?

Rob?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

And...

I suppose I'm...

..I'm sorry as well. I'm sorry for losing it.

Thought you were going to hit me.

Don't be daft.

I knew you'd come.

-Let's just get this over with.

-Get it over with!

You're going to be my plaything for as long as I want.

There's a wet room at the top of the stairs.

Go and take a shower and then wait for me in my bedroom.

Do it.

Good boy.

You won't find it here.

Now clean this mess up.

HE LAUGHS

Stop it.

I said stop it!

Now do as I say.

I just remembered what your mate Eloise said.

-That you're a spoilt, little rich kid.

-And?

Well, it just got me thinking.

Rich kids normally have rich, well-to-do parents.

And I bet they've no idea what you do for a living, have they?

-You don't know anything about them.

-No, no, I don't.

But I do know their phone number. HE LAUGHS

Give that back!

Don't play games with me.

I'm not playing games.

-Don't. My mum, she's not well.

-Really?

-She'd be devastated.

-Yeah.

Here, take it!

-It's not enough.

-Please.

I'm begging you!

Oh, you're begging now are you? Get down on your knees, then.

-If that's what it takes.

-Mm-hm.

It's not nice, is it?

To think you're about to lose everything you care about?

I wouldn't lower myself.

Go on, get out.

Now, what is it with you?

How many lives have you ruined?

I'm no different to you or any other man.

You all use women. I'm just readdressing the balance.

Huh. You need help.

GET OUT!

Hi. Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way.

Everything's sorted. I'm all yours.

So now the air's cleared, maybe we should all do something together.

-How do you mean?

-I dunno.

Maybe a birthday lunch for Dad?

All of us?

-That sounds like a good idea.

-It's too soon.

-Come on, Dad.

I can't just forget what's happened.

And you can't hold it against her forever, either.

She's not who I thought. I don't know her any more.

Listen to yourself.

You said you didn't want an argument.

You really have no idea, do you?.

Did you even read my article?

Why?

Has it honestly never occurred to you why she did what she did?

Come on, then, spit it out.

-She went off the rails after what happened with you two.

-Hang on...

It was one thing after another!

She had to cope with the pregnancy, you two splitting up, Mum seeing other blokes.

Think about it.

It's no wonder she screwed up.

-I cannot help it if a patient is seriously ill.

-No, but I can,

because I am a doctor.

Your test results tell us your heart is failing.

Do you think there is a danger

of relationship troubles affecting the workplace?

-Is that why you're here? Because of your dad?

-I think I'm having a baby.

I keep daydreaming about happy families

and we don't even know if there's a baby down there yet.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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