Simple Doctors

You phoned Mr Tibbets? Told him you'd be late for work?

-Yes, Mum.

-But you didn't tell him why?

I don't want those lads discussing all my lumps and bumps.

No, Mum. I just said you were having an injection and I had to drive.

Good boy.

I reckon they can spare you for half a morning, eh?

-Do I have to go back?

-Of course you do.

You're working at the university today, round the corner.

OK.

Why? Has Mister Tibbets had to tell you off about something?

No.

Cos you have to listen, don't you? Follow how the others do it.

I do. I'm just thinking of you.

Bryan, love, it's not like when I had the operation

and you had to stay with Aunty Pat

Bossy old cow Pat.

She wouldn't want to repeat of the experience either.

But you don't have to worry,

because I'm not going away this time.

Dorothy Percival to see the doctor.

Ah, yes.

It's a double appointment.

Minor surgery?

Sit down, Bryan, you're looming.

Kids... They never stop earwigging, do they?

I'm having a cyst removed.

Well...just a fatty lump, according to the doctor.

I don't know why I'm bothering, it's not as if anyone's going to see it.

It is always better to be safe than sorry.

Well, it does chafe a bit when I do my zumba.

Really?

At the community centre. There's this fella that runs it, Gay Dave.

Mrs Tembe. Can you find me the annual maintenance contract, please?

-Excuse me.

-Mrs Percival.

You, stay there.

Heavens above. We don't want the poor boy scarred for life.

I'm not going on about it.

You obviously are. I don't want to have purple gloop for breakfast.

It was a blueberry smoothie.

Think of those antioxidants attacking your free radicals.

I like my free radicals, and I already have my five a day.

It's eight a day now.

It's recommended to increase the fertility.

Jimmi, shh.

Just think about it, you can nail three of them straightaway.

If you have a Caesar salad at the Icon, with a side of crispy...

I'm not going anywhere with you,

if you're count everything that's on my plate.

-All right, mate.

-Yeah.

-Did you stay out last night?

-What?

It's just you look a bit...

I didn't have any clean shirts.

Everyone, meet Emma, our new locum.

Oh, hi.

This is Cherry Clay, nurse and most recent newly-wed.

It's hardly recent.

If you've been married as long as I have - trust me.

This is the other half, Dr Jimmi Clay.

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Daniel...

-Dr Granger...

-Yes.

-Say hello.

-Hello.

Ah, finally get to meet the mysterious Mr Botox.

I have friends who can't get enough of you.

Hardly a walking advert for his own services, is he?

-Where's he gone now?

-Who?

Mrs Percival's son.

He's been gawping at me for the last 10 minutes,

putting me off my stride.

So that is why it is taking so long.

He's clearly not playing with a full deck of cards, is he?

Is that a medical term, Mr Bellamy?

That's what I'm assuming.

Why do you feel it is necessary for you to give him a label, I wonder?

Maybe you feel more comfortable

when you know which one of your boxes to tick.

No.

Look at the that.

He has found his way back without a 10-page assessment.

You need 25mm.

Them's too small.

So... Tea and coffee is replaced by whoever, usually me.

Although Heston has his fancy pants brand.

Well, it's better than the police station anyway.

Never a clean cup, and those coppers would steal a biscuit

right from under your nose - you know that.

Honestly, I'm not familiar with my husband's biscuit habits at work.

-Sorry, Emma Reid, I've just made the connection - you're a police surgeon.

-For my sins. You too?

Yeah.

-Do you want to...?

-Yeah, yeah.

Easy on the eye.

-I can't even look at him.

-What do you mean?

We've got so much to look forward to. Here's us trying for a baby...

-Jimmi, will you stop going on?

-And Daniel's blown it all.

We can't exactly help that, can we?

-No, but anyone can lose their grip.

-He's going to be fine.

He's admitted he's got a problem, and that's the hardest part.

Yeah.

He doesn't need you watching his every move.

You help your dad out with this sort of thing?

-I've never seen my dad.

-Oh. Sorry to hear that.

He's the invisible man.

That's what your mum calls him?

He was there, then he wasn't.

She calls him a "cheating git" as well.

-Is that where you work?

-Yeah.

-You like it?

-Yeah. I've got mates, haven't I?

Good.

Have to keep away from the head-hunter, though.

Head-hunter?

He's coming. He won't say when, we just have to be ready.

Right, the head-hunter as in somebody who poaches you for another job?

-Yeah.

-What do you think it is?

That thing what you said.

And he's going to pick you out?

-No, cos I'm not going to let him.

-OK.

Bryan, what are you doing, bothering the gentleman?

And why have you dragged that thing in from the car?

He's all right. He's helping out.

Are you all right now, Mum?

Good as new. Off we go, back to work.

We'll get you a nice cake for your elevenses from that cafe.

-Bye, Mr Bellamy.

-Bye, Bryan. Thank you.

Erm... Yes, sir. What would you like this morning?

Hey, babes. What are you doing right now?

OK. OK...

Hey, babes. Have a guess what I'm wearing.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes?

What?

Home insulation? No. Go away.

-All right? Is the doc in?

-Do you have an appointment?

No. We had an accident

round the corner - he got in the way of a plank.

It's a head injury, send him straight in.

I was just about to do that.

You should have gone straight to A&E.

Why? It's only a little bump, he's just a big baby.

This way...

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Yeah?

Dr Carter.

What's up?

-Ooh.

-I've said he should go to hospital.

Can't you just put a bandage on or something?

-What's your name?

-Josh.

-Josh. OK. Have a seat. What happened?

-It were a plank.

We were putting scaffolding up at the uni.

It smacked you on the side of the head?

I dunno. He wasn't looking where he were going.

Let's have a look.

Right.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah.

Hey.

So...

-What did you reckon to Emma, then?

-Who?

Never mind. How are you doing?

Did you have a chance to give it any more thought about what

we talked about, you getting some help?

Cos...I've been looking at the lists and a couple of names

keep coming up...counsellors.

So if you speak to your GP,

then I think you can get the ball rolling.

Yeah. Fine. Do whatever you need to do.

-Me?

-You can be my GP.

-No, I can't. You've got that Trevor bloke.

-I can't talk to him.

I was on the PCT panel with him...he's a professional colleague.

-And I'm your friend. It'd be completely inappropriate.

-Why?

You know why. You need someone objective, someone uninvolved.

-It's a different relationship.

-Come on, Jim. Don't be such a sap.

All you have to do is sign the form.

I can't. You know I can't, I have to say no.

There you go, bad Daniel, making poor little Jimmi break the rules.

We need to call an ambulance. There's considerable swelling.

Can't you just leave the dressing on?

He needs an X-ray.

Hello, we need an ambulance immediately at the campus surgery.

We have a patient with a head injury.

I'll take him later.

We've got to go, the boss will be going ballistic.

-Mrs Tembe, I am the surgery receptionist.

-C'mon mate, we're going.

Why don't you want to take him to hospital?

What are you worried about?

We were messing around with the scaff, OK? The boss doesn't know.

So what?

It is on its way.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Right. What sort of thing do you want?

Right. Master...

It's a sunny day on the farm,

all the chickens are chickening...

Erm...it's me and the hay

and it's really itchy and...

I'm sinking into the hay

and...it's prickling my back and getting in my mouth.

Hello?

Hello?

Arriving from work unexpectedly does not require a doctor.

Mrs Percival, whether I have children or not is relevant.

I am just trying to ascertain the level of the emergency.

Problem?

Bryan has locked himself in his bedroom.

Did she say why?

You know, those two lads work at the same place as him.

Did something upset him at work today?

Have you tried talking to him?

Mrs Percival?

Hello?

She has rang off.

I will forgive her for calling me a jobsworth baggage.

I will ask Dr Carter to give her a call.

He's up to his eyes. What's the address?

I was not aware that our practice managers did house calls.

I can't believe he had the cheek to ask you,

putting you in that position.

He's got no shame at all.

-I think shame is the problem. He can't face up to opening up.

-Why?

The rest of us manage it,

having some patronising old fart asking us personal questions.

-Why should he have special treatment?

-When did you see a doctor that wasn't one of us?

-That's not the point.

-Isn't it?

-No.

He's just being typical Daniel, avoiding responsibility,

putting it on you. Jimmi, you're his friend. You're not his doctor.

It just confuses everything.

But because I'm his friend, if I turn my back on him

when he really needs my support...

Daniel leaning on you is the worst thing.

You have got to be strong.

Promise me.

Bryan...

Hello, Bryan.

It's Mr Bellamy, from the doctor's.

He's been like this since he came home.

I can only think he's been sacked...but he says that's not it.

Maybe Bryan would like a cup of tea.

He's got two cups going cold.

Oh. Right. I'll freshen the pot.

So... A bit of a commotion at work, then?

How do you know?

About Josh? Him and his mate came into the surgery.

I recognised the badge on his overalls.

He's gone to the hospital.

We sent him off in the ambulance.

He was hurt pretty bad.

Were you there?

So...can you tell me what happened?

-I was working...shifting some planks.

-Was Josh there?

-No.

-Where was he, then?

-Behind the scaff.

What was he doing there?

Bryan?

Hiding.

From you?

I didn't know it was him.

He had his head all covered up, like a skeleton, and he was yelling.

And I thought... I thought it was the head-hunter, so I hit him.

With a plank?

And then Jamie came, said it was a joke,

but it was too late cos he was on the floor.

The lads play jokes all the time.

-You need to tell the police about this.

-No.

They need to know exactly how Josh got hurt.

But the doctors can make him better.

Well...

I told him I was sorry.

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Are you a puppy? You are. That's a relief.

OK. You've been a very bad dog, haven't you?

So get down on the floor...and whine so I can hear how sorry you are.

Very good. And now...

You're going to lick my shoe.

Mm-hm. You have a nice day now.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, how can boys be so cruel?

It's just like at school,

the nasty little bullies that made his life a misery.

-He was bullied at school?

-No, cos I stopped it.

I took him out and moved him

till we found somewhere the teachers had better control.

Did they talk to you about support?

-You know, smaller classes...

-Oh, yes, they talked about it.

My Bryan, stuck in some unit with all the pregnant girls

and troublemakers. I told them what I thought about that.

Well, Mrs Percival,

the reason why Bryan's being picked on is because he's...

Simple.

And what of it?

Not everyone can be like that Professor Hawkins,

and I'd rather he was like he is than some show-off egg-head.

OK. Well, if you'd had him statemented

when he was younger, the police might take a more sympathetic view now.

-Police?

-It's likely they're going to get involved.

-Bryan has done nothing criminal.

-He attacked Josh with a plank.

You said the boy was trying to frighten him.

Josh was wearing a mask from a toy shop.

The police are going to hardly see that as an adequate defence.

Right. I see.

Thank you, Mr Bellamy, for putting yourself out.

I'm sorry. Obviously Bryan's shaken up...

Yes. And I know why now. I'll deal with it.

I really do think, if he took the...

You can leave it with me.

There you are.

I've been walking for miles.

How's Josh?

How do you think?

I dunno.

He's dead...

..cos of you...

..because you're thick,

cos you're mental.

You killed my best mate.

Right. I'm going to do it.

-I have to. It's totally counter-productive.

-Do what?

I'm going to say yes to Daniel. I'm going to agree to be his GP.

Jimmi, you promised.

I know. Blow protocol, some things are more important.

But what do you know about PND?

You've never had a kid. You don't know how he's feeling.

-I'm a doctor...

-A medical one, he needs proper mind stuff,

-he needs therapy, it's not your thing.

-What?

We'll find him an expert.

If it stops you ballsing it up, that's what we'll do.

You think I haven't already thought of that?

Thinking about it isn't enough,

we're going to have to do it for him.

We'll get him a list of the best.

I've done that, and I've asked Mandy.

Mandy?

Yeah, I didn't think you wanted to help.

Let me have a look.

PHONE RINGS

'Bryan? Where are you? Where did you go?

'Say something. I'm worried about you, pet.

'That nice man from the doctor's told me all about the accident,

'but you mustn't be worried cos it's not your fault.'

Mum...

..am I mental?

Bryan, what are you doing here?

I went to the hospital.

Josh is dead.

There was blood all round his head...

..then Jamie pulled him up...

..and...shaked him,

saying, "Look at me. Look at me."

Listen, Bryan, until the doctors have done a post-mortem,

-they won't know exactly how Josh has died.

-It was me.

I killed him.

Yeah...but he might have had something wrong with him before that.

Listen, there are things that need to happen now, procedures,

so it's really important for you to be as clear as you can.

Am I going to go to prison?

I don't know. That's what the police have got to decide -

how much you're responsible.

The police?

You really do need to talk to them, Bryan.

Will my mum be there?

No.

She doesn't like people talking to me.

Listen, Bryan.

I'd better go home now. Thanks for the cuppa.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Mr Bellamy...

Bryan Percival?

I called them, Bryan. That's what I was trying to tell you. I had no choice.

You are Bryan Percival?

Yes.

It's OK, just talk to them, tell them everything you told me.

I am arresting you on suspicion of manslaughter of Josh Milligan,

and on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm to Jamie Mellor.

-What?

-Jamie?

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention while questioned

something that you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

-I never hurt Jamie.

-What's he supposed to have done?

-Drove straight into him, outside the scaffold yard.

-What?

Bust his leg. He's in hospital now. Witness says it's Percival's motor.

Where are you taking me? I have to phone my mum.

Jimmi! You know what doctors are like.

It's like builders and their houses - fallen-down wrecks.

Plumbers and their toilets, they don't have the time.

Why are you talking about toilets?

Yeah. OK. If I can get him to call you,

will you hold the appointment for 24 hours?

Thank you very much, you've been absolutely brilliant.

-Who are you talking to?

-Bye.

Receptionist at Oliver Clarke's clinic.

What? You got Daniel an appointment? How?

By picking up the phone. I'm sick of watching you fart around all day,

canvassing Mandy for your top 10 tips.

You've spent all day not actually doing anything.

Right.

It's just a provisional appointment.

He's going to have to call them himself.

Mrs Percival.

If you've come for Bryan, he took himself out.

I know. I've just seen him.

-Oh.

-He's been arrested.

That boy was an accident. We'll soon put them straight.

He's also hit one of his workmates in a car.

What?

But you knew that already, didn't you?

Daniel...

..I've made an appointment for you with Oliver Clarke.

I didn't use your full name, it's just under Daniel.

-But you have to call them to confirm it.

-Oliver.

-Yeah, Elaine's Oliver, he's good.

-Yeah, I know. He's the guy we saw for the IVF.

You have to see him once, for the initial assessment. After that,

-you decide if you want to carry on.

-I don't know.

It's an hour of your life. I'll even take you there, if we want. We can have a drink after.

It'd be good research, if nothing else.

-That's my cover, is it?

-You're a doctor, you don't need a cover.

Doctors are the most screwed-up people on the planet.

Wouldn't you do anything to get Joe back?

If I do got to see him, will that get you off my case?

They're open till seven. You have to call him.

He swore at me, shocking language, his mother should be ashamed.

His friend had just died.

I didn't know that.

And even if I had,

it was my Bryan they were trying to fit up.

I wanted him to admit it.

What happened then?

I got back in the car.

And the lad, he walked out, and I tried to talk to him again.

He said Bryan was a danger to the others,

that he shouldn't be working there.

Do you know what that job means to my son?

And that lad, that cocky, two-faced,

nasty article was going to take it all away.

So you drove the car at him?

I won't have people teasing Bryan. I won't have it.

You put a lad in hospital.

Did you even stop to see what you'd done?

No.

If I get mixed up with the police, what's going to happen to Bryan?

You'll have to tell them.

As soon as Jamie makes a statement, he's going to say it was you.

And, in the meantime, Bryan could be admitting to anything.

What will I say to Bryan? What will he do?

Do you have anyone?

No. It's always been me, fighting his corner.

Well, maybe it'll be good for him, in the long run.

So it's my fault.

You love your son.

You can't treat him like a child any more.

Ooh, there's another one. Get my feather duster

right into those cobwebs, nasty, dusty, dirty things.

Thanking you.

Daniel's done it - he's booked the appointment.

Great, does that mean you'll stop going on about it?

Do you know how long it takes to get on Oliver's books?

It's all down to you being amazing, as usual.

I'm more worried about you, him stressing you out.

Yeah, having us trying for a baby.

Daniel being in bed with us isn't the best thing, is it?

Come on, let's go. You can make me one of those wonder-berry smoothies

The purple gloop? I thought you hated it.

Yeah, but I love the fact that you want to make it for me.

It's the least I can do.

Look, I'm sorry. I've been unfair.

What?

Well, acting like I'm Daniel's only friend in the world.

Before Zara came along, the three of us were mates.

I was always trying to get rid of him.

I shouldn't have said you didn't care.

THEY KISS

Sorry, Uncle Kev.

Uncle?! You?

Asa...

-Uncle Kevin!

-What the hell are you doing? No, don't answer that!

You might let something slip?

Oh, I see.

Warning me off is actually you doing me a favour, is that it?

Kevin, long time! Way, way too long!

Belinda?

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