A Lighter Note Doctors

PHONE BEEPS

LAPTOP BEEPS

What's going on? What's with the six missed calls, yo?

Hope I didn't wake you.

Nah, I had enough scary dreams.

Traumatic.

Tell me about it.

Do you want do something today?

What time is it?

Nah - I gotta meet someone.

Who?

Who you meeting?

No-one.

So...what...is it like a date?

What's with the fly-posting?

The library is going to shut down unless it can sign up new members.

The church group has elected me to organise a last event to save it.

And the silver fox?

He's not a "silver fox", he's a well-respected historian.

Quite clever advertising, I suppose. The Letherbridge ladies will love him.

Not everyone thinks like that.

Some of them might respect him for his intellect or his wit.

Oh, loosen up a bit, Mrs Tembe!

This is a very serious matter.

What is?

Mrs Tembe's invited an intellectual stud to her save-the-library event.

Oh, have you?

He's going to be doing a talk on medieval history.

Sounds interesting.

Really?

You are more than welcome to attend. You, Dr Carter.

Not you.

PHONE RINGS

The Mill Health Centre. How may I help you?

Yes, this is she.

Oh? What? Really? Y-Yes. Of course. Eleven o'clock?

Of course.

What is it?

It's some new cream. It's got a "miracle" ingredient in it.

It works really fast apparently.

Where'd you get it?

Me and Aamina ordered it on the internet.

But you've got loads of creams already.

Yeah, but this one's better.

You don't even need it, Meera. You're light enough.

There's no such thing.

And maybe you should think about using it.

It's not for me.

Don't turn your nose up at it.

I'm not, I just don't feel the need.

Then guys probably won't feel the need to ask you out.

Wait - I bagsied the bathroom!

No, I got here first.

-But I need to get ready.

-For what?

None of your business.

Then I've got the bathroom first.

Fine. I'm meeting up with someone.

Someone?

Someone - now let me...

Who?

-What?

-Tell me who you're meeting!

-No.

-Suit yourself.

Whatever. Have it.

Look - we're really pushed today - it's already filling up.

I only need a little extra time.

You've already got half a day off!

But this is an emergency.

What kind of emergency?

Mr Garvey has asked to see me before the event.

Well, he should have asked you earlier.

He is already on his way - I do not want to leave him on his own.

Are you telling me this has got nothing to do with the fact

that he's a little bit of a fox?

Of course not!

P-Please.

This is the library's last chance to attract new members.

I know he's going to help us and he's doing us a huge favour!

If you let me go, you - yes, you -

will also be saving the library,

indirectly...

Oh, all right. If you promise me one thing.

What's that?

Loosen up a bit, will you?

Thank you.

Hey, isn't that mine?

Oh, come on, Meera, please. I've got nothing to wear.

-So?

-Well, it's important.

Why?

-It just is.

-All right. Fine.

But you can't wear it with those - you need black shoes or something.

Yes! You're the best! OK.

PHONE BEEPS

How about these?

Yeah. Whatever.

PHONE RINGS

Hey, Aamina.

Nah, I haven't used it yet... I'm going to do it later... What, why not?

What kind of rash?

Well, have you washed it off yet?

So, you're just a bit red?

OK. Let me know how it goes, yeah.

It doesn't look right, does it?

You look good.

Really?

Yeah. Well, the outfit does.

What do you mean?

So you're meeting someone exciting, right?

Yeah. I guess so.

So, it's like a date?

It's someone who you've got to impress.

Well...yeah.

Well, maybe you need something extra.

No, Meera.

Who's had more success with guys, me or you?

And none of the guys I know would dream about getting with

a girl as dark as you.

Really?

Look at Bhavin, all his girlfriends have been light-skinned.

Well, that doesn't mean he's not attracted to dark-skinned girls.

That's not what he told me.

So, it'll make me a little bit lighter...straight away?

Hi, you're Mrs Tembe? I'm Robyn Garvey.

See you later.

You are not the Robin I am meeting.

Well, yes, I am actually. It's quite a funny story.

I am supposed to meeting Robin Garvey, the author.

My name is Robyn Garvey and I am also an author.

What kind of trickery is this?

I'm sorry - I know you were expecting someone different, but let me explain.

Where is the real Robin Garvey?

You called my agent.

You must have got the wrong number. My agent obviously accepted the gig,

but when I saw all the posters...well...

Oh. T-There's been a mix-up.

But the library...it will close down...

Hey, look. I have a large fan base here.

I've been tweeting all week about the event.

But Robin Garvey was supposed to read an excerpt.

I can do that.

I have a new book. I'd love to read.

Really? That would be wonderful!

The Duchess of Desire.

But this...

..this is erotic... Oh!

Erotic-a.

Yo! I'm already here. Kinda early. Bit keen, I know.

Look, I can't meet you today - don't ask why, I just can't.

-Hi there.

-Whoa.

-Trouble in paradise?

Meera.

What are you doing here?

Just passing through. Thought you were supposed to be meeting some girl?

Nah. Not any more.

What happened?

I don't even know. But she's not coming.

Well, maybe it's a good thing.

You can hang out with me instead!

Come on, I'll buy you a coffee.

I don't know. I don't really feel like it.

I'm not letting you sit here depressed. Come on!

This is disgusting. I cannot allow you to read this.

It's not disgusting. It's erotic and sensual.

I have a lot of readers, you know.

Well, they are depraved. How can they read this?

How can you write this?

I seem to spend most of my life defending myself

to book snobs like you, Mrs Tembe.

People enjoy it.

Sex is a beautiful part of life that should be enjoyed and celebrated,

not looked down upon and spat at.

But it does not need to be celebrated in a public arena!

People are a lot more open-minded than you think,

less...conservative.

We all have these emotions, so why not be proud of them?

Have you ever even tried reading one?

-Of course not!

-Shh!

So, how could you ever know?

Never judge a book by its cover, yada yada yada...

I'm going to have to read it to them myself.

Mrs Tembe, I have a lot of local fans planning on coming

today and I'm not sure how they'll react to economic history.

How do you know they're all here to see you?

The real Robin Garvey has many fans too, you know.

Excuse me.

Oh, hello. Please. Welcome. Please sit down.

She was fine when I spoke to her last night.

What could I have done wrong between last night and now?

Maybe it's not you. Maybe she just decided that you're not right together.

I finally find a girl I proper like...and she decides I'm not for her.

What do you mean you "finally" found a girl you like?

Why won't you tell me who she is?

It doesn't matter who she is...

Why?

Look, she's just different.

She's just different to the rest of the girls at college.

She seems...cooler with who she is.

Am I not cool with who I am?

What? Am I not?

Yeah, yeah, course you are.

You really don't want to talk about this, do you?

Thanks for being here, though. You're...you're cool, Meera.

For listening when you didn't need to.

Woah!

Meera.

What?

I don't like you like that.

I didn't want to give you the wrong impression.

I've got to go.

'This is CJ, sorry I can't get to the phone. Leave a message.'

CJ?

SOBBING

Look at me...

OK. OK, we can fix this.

Meera, it's burning! It's burning all over.

I need to see someone.

-You can't.

-Why not?

It's illegal. The cream was illegal.

What?

Let's just get you in the shower.

Get off me! Don't touch me!

Then get in the shower before this does any more harm!

You did this. This is all your fault.

You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

Let's just wash this off then I'll take you to the doctor.

Hello, everyone and thank you all for coming.

It's wonderful to see so many new faces here at Letherbridge Library.

Now...

as you know, the library faces closure,

and the only way to stop that is to sign up new members.

Unfortunately, there has been a slight problem.

Due to a misunderstanding,

Mr Robin Garvey will not be able to read to you today.

GENERAL CHATTER

In his place, I will be reading from his masterpiece,

The Unabridged Economic History of Medieval Britain.

Thank you.

"The interesting dynamic between feudalism and manorialism is

"what characterises 15th century economic history most distinctively.

"Manorialism was the social system of peasants

"whereby they were financially dependent on their lord..."

Isn't that Robyn Garvey?!

"..and their lord's land..."

Yeah, I think it is. Why isn't she doing the reading?

"The most important economic treaty that revolutionised..."

A moisturiser?

It was a new one. Maybe I'm allergic?

But they look like burns.

She's got very sensitive skin.

I need to know what you've used, before I can treat you.

Anything you can tell me about it?

We got it on the internet. It had some miracle ingredient.

Ow!

He needs to know.

And when did you apply it?

This morning.

This morning. Just once?

Yes.

So, it's very strong cream, then.

Did this...

did this "miracle cream" have any skin-lightening effect?

No.

Cos now is the time to tell me if it did.

Some of those creams can have mercury in them.

It could poison you, or your skin could be badly scarred.

Is it treatable?

-CJ!

-Yes, it's treatable, but...

PHONE RINGS

Why is Bhavin calling you?

I don't know. That's weird...

How does he even have your number?

I met him at Aamina's party.

Do you know how serious this is?

I saw him earlier.

We hung out for a bit.

He tried it on with me actually...

He did what?!

-Why do you care?

-You knew. How did you know?

Did you really think you could hide it from me?

You knew I was seeing him...when you gave me the cream...

Can we get back to the matter in hand?

-No. I didn't know that you were...

-You knew...and you did it on purpose!

You did it on purpose because you were jealous!

Did what on purpose?

You knew I liked him!

So you admit it!

You wanted this. Fine.

Well, you can deal with the consequences.

What's going on here?

Meera. It was a skin bleach, wasn't it?

-Yes.

-Right. We need to get her to the hospital.

-Hospital?

-You have no idea what you've done, do you?

I thought it was just going to give her a few spots,

a bit of a rash, nothing like this!

We need to find her...now.

"Within the former Roman province lay illusions of imperial grandeur."

CHANTING: Robyn, Robyn, Robyn!

"The forts were crumbling, the walls decayed.

"Trade dwindled and former mass-producing industries collapsed.

"The most interesting part of the treasury's yearly budget was..."

Mrs Tembe, people are getting a little bit agitated.

Why don't you just let her read?

She cannot. You do not understand...it's not right...

If that's what they want

and you're trying to sign new readers - what's the harm?

All right.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Miss Robyn Garvey will read from her new novel The Duchess of Desire!

APPLAUSE

CJ?

CJ?

CJ - please just come out.

CJ, it's Dr Clay.

Meera has told me about the cream you've used.

You need to come out so we can get you to a hospital as soon as we can.

I'm not coming out.

I need the cream.

CJ, come on. Open the door. We need to get you to hospital.

Here it is.

Do you know how dangerous this is?

I didn't know it was going to be this bad.

CJ, please, I'm sorry. Please don't do this.

You did this, Meera. It's your fault.

CJ, you sound breathless - are you having trouble breathing?

It hurts!

I need to examine her NOW.

CJ, please. I'm sorry.

I'm going to have to break the door down.

Please, just give me a minute.

Bhavin, look, I'm so sorry about earlier.

I shouldn't have acted the way I did, but please, I need your help.

It's CJ. She's hurt.

What? What's happened?

Hold on a minute. CJ, listen to me.

Bhavin's on the phone. I need to say something to you.

Both of you.

CJ's in there because I hurt her today.

I did something unforgivable.

I told her to bleach her skin.

What?

I was jealous.

I persuaded her she needed to change herself.

She's beautiful as she is.

CJ, please come out.

I don't care what's happened,

how crazy you look. I just want you to be safe.

I just need you to be all right. Please, come out.

CJ, open the door. We need to get you to hospital.

Go call an ambulance.

He saw her bathing by the lake, her skin luminous in the moonlight.

He imagined what it would be like to taste her sweet,

intoxicating kiss. Sir Robert moved towards her,

her curves arousing him with every step.

He drew closer, unable to stop himself,

unable to contain his throbbing desire, his yearning manhood.

SHE COUGHS

Please could you...?

No, I could not.

Please, they'll be so disappointed.

SHE COUGHS

Are you asthmatic?

COUGHING CONTINUES

You really should carry an inhaler.

I usually do - I'll be fine.

Are you sure about that?

Sir Robert's arms wrapped around her and he tugged her against him.

She leaned into his hard, warm body,

relishing the sensation of his big...

..his...big...

..hands. His big hands.

She felt a release like nothing before,

as the pleasure flowed through her.

She thought that this could be it.

How long have you been asthmatic?

About three, maybe four minutes.

Oh, you're a naughty woman.

Would you expect anything less?

Gabriella sighed as she began to ride his...

..his...horse.

His horse.

And they got married in a beautiful church

and lived happily ever after.

The end.

APPLAUSE

Well, Mrs Tembe, you did it!

The library's got some new readers.

Maybe not the readers you were looking for, but you should be

proud of yourself.

I can't believe what I did in front of the church group.

Mrs Tembe, embarrassment fades. Look around you.

This place could be turned into an office block,

a multiplex shopping centre.

But because of you, it's one step nearer to being saved.

A place of education and enjoyment.

You did what you had to do.

And Miss Garvey? Is she all right?

Oh, yes. She's all right. Quite a little prankster, isn't she?

What do you mean?

That wasn't a real asthma attack.

You should be ashamed!

Oh, I thought we were over this.

You fooled me. You lied.

The coughing fit? Yes...true.

I did not have to do that...that humiliating reading!

No, you didn't...but wasn't it fun?

I can't just forgive you like that.

Neither can I.

I didn't know you liked him.

He was my friend way before you knew him.

Why does that matter?

It's not your fault. It just hurts that it's you.

When I saw him earlier I realised that...

there was nothing that I could do to change myself.

No way that I could make him change his mind and pick me.

I shouldn't have listened to you.

I never even thought about it, until I heard you going on.

"All the guys like fair girls, make-up looks prettier on fair girls..."

I was wrong.

Are you OK?

I think so.

You look...

Like Freddy Krueger, I know. I'm sorry about earlier.

I couldn't let you see me like this.

You should have just told me.

I don't care what you look like.

I would have come and helped you.

I've got to go.

So, I'll see you there?

Meera! Get in.

Really?

Yeah. I might not forgive you now, but we can work on in it.

She's going to be OK, right?

Yeah, she should be. It looks like it's an allergic reaction.

She's still going to be pretty though, right?

That is a very distinctive badge you are wearing.

You want to hear it?

BADGE PLAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG

Very tasteful.

HE GROANS

-What seems to be the problem?

-Are you kidding?

Are you experiencing back pain?

Are you actually a doctor?

If you just drop your trousers and let's take a look.

Dr Clay?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd