The Mating Game Doctors


The Mating Game

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Transcript


LineFromTo

-Got a new watch by any chance?

-Oh, this? Yeah.

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Water resistant to 100m,

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tells the time simultaneously in four different countries.

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Why do you need to know the time in four countries?

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He's got an ego that spans four time zones.

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Why shouldn't he have a watch to match?

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Laugh all you want, but a watch like this can open doors.

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That sounds a bit more useful.

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It tells people something.

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Yeah, the time!

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I have a very particular problem.

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I was wondering...

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if you could help me...with this.

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I suppose a nice watch does say something about a man.

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Like what exactly?

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That he's a bit distinguished. That he'll turn up on time.

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You should listen to Karen. She's an experienced, mature woman.

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-Oi, less of the "mature", thank you very much.

-I just meant...

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Kevin, step away from the spade.

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Louise Smith, I'm here to do the IT system evaluation.

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-Hi, Kevin Tyler. I'm a doctor here.

-Chris Reid, practice nurse.

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OK, guys, I think I can handle this.

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I'm the most senior member of staff here

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so I think it's only fair that I make myself available

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to welcome a visitor.

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I think I'll handle it.

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So, I'm Karen Hollins, receptionist, would you like to come this way?

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Oh, sorry.

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Just through here, to the left...

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-Mate, you can put your tongue back in now.

-Pfft, what?

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Don't suppose you you've heard of playing it cool?

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Oh, like you?

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"Hi, I'm Kevin Tyler, I'm a doctor here."

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Mate, there's a big difference

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between asserting yourself

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and gawping like a toddler at the toy shop window.

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So much to learn, young Padawan.

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Right, OK.

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When was the last time you even went on a date?

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Do you know what? Today is your lucky day.

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Uncle Kevin is going to sort you out with a date.

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I'm perfectly capable of getting a date for myself,

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thanks, "Uncle Kevin".

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I don't understand, you're a married woman.

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Not any more.

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-But surely...?

-He died a week after the wedding.

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It was all very sudden.

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And you didn't even have time to...?

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It's a long story.

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I don't understand why you suddenly feel the need now?

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I've thought about it down the years

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but it just never quite happened.

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So why now?

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It feels like the right time.

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Well, certainly, I think you should forget about this for starters...

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..I don't think normal people do things like that...

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-..or that.

-I did wonder.

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So, what exactly can I do for you?

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I just don't want to get it wrong when the time comes.

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Well, surely your partner has a bit more experience?

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Oh, yes...he's got tonight all planned.

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Dancing at Letherbridge Social Club,

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then on to his for a candle-lit supper and...

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then...

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Ah.

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I don't know what to say.

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It's the most natural thing in the world.

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If you really have to do it, just go with the flow.

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But...

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I just wondered about the mechanics.

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Mechanics?

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Yes, you see, in the book...

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-Trust me, you need to forget about that book.

-But...

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Mrs Bedford, please.

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Just let your partner take the lead and you'll be fine.

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I'll need to speak to a range of system users -

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ideally one doctor, a nurse, a manager

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and a member of support staff.

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Nobody told me that bit.

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Is it a problem?

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I shouldn't think so. I'll do my best.

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Doctor Tyler's just down that way, so maybe best start with him?

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Great, I'm going to just nip to the girl's room and then I'll get going.

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Why exactly is she here?

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She's an IT analyst, whatever that means.

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She's got to interview everybody

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who's got something to do with a computer. Howard sorted it.

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-Are you setting up the interviews?

-Yeah, why?

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Oh, I see. Oh, so sweet! You're blushing.

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Would you mind if I went first?

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-Oh, someone's keen.

-Well, she's lovely and Kevin will just...

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Oh, has he put you up to this?

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Well, erm...yeah, kind of.

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Do you not think you should try and play it a bit cool?

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Really? See, I thought I should strike while the iron's hot.

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Carpe diem and all that.

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Oh, fair enough, it's up to you.

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-I'll send her down to the nurse's room first then.

-Yes, thank you!

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-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Yeah?

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-I had a patient earlier, a Mrs Bedford.

-What about her?

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How well do you know her?

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I've seen her a few times, she's a sweet old lady.

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A "sweet old lady" who's about to be deflowered.

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Come again?

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She's got a hot date tonight.

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-Doesn't mean she's about to...

-Oh, yes, it does!

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She's been doing her research and everything.

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It's really her first time? At her age?

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You didn't know?

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Surprisingly, it didn't come up in conversation, no.

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Well, I suppose she's a grown woman. She can do what she wants.

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I take it you read her patient notes?

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Yeah, I had a quick look. Why?

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So you'll know about the osteoarthritis in her hip?

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-Not exactly.

-You got a bit freaked out, didn't you?

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-Forgot to do your job properly.

-Not at all!

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You're a doctor, you can't just pick and choose

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which patients you want to deal with.

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So, any general thoughts you have on the system?

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Do you know what? I think it's great. I think it's absolutely brilliant.

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-Really?

-Yeah, it's fantastic. Best I've ever seen.

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-Well done you.

-I didn't actually design it.

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Well, your company did, though.

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So, you should, at least, take some of the credit.

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-It was a bit before my time.

-It doesn't look that old.

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Not...that you look old. You don't, you're lovely.

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Lovely and young.

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What about functionality issues?

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Any major improvements you might make to the interface?

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What's the interface?

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The front end? What you see in the screen, the way it looks.

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Do you know what? I'm not really that superficial.

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For me, it's what's inside that counts.

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OK, I think we're almost done here.

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-Unless, do you have anything else you'd like to add?

-Like what?

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Any questions, maybe?

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What sort of questions?

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About the system?

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Oh, the system. No, I don't think so.

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OK, I think I've got Doctor Tyler up next.

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-Erm, yeah, actually, I've got a question.

-What's that?

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Erm...

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..the F10 key. What does that do again?

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I bet he won't even ask her, he's a bottle merchant!

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You can spot them a mile off.

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Maybe you should give him some help, then?

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He's been having a rough time with his dad lately

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and I'm thinking a bit of female company would do him good.

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I did offer but he turned me down flat.

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-Where are you going?

-Sandwich...

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and to see Mrs Bedford.

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Feeling guilty, are you?

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You're up next.

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-How did it go?

-Terrible.

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-I ended up blabbering like a complete idiot.

-Oh!

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Maybe you should try a different approach?

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-Like what?

-Go all mean and moody. Yu know, less talk, more attitude.

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Think, erm...Al Pacino

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or that...Ryan Gosling fella in that film.

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Mean and moody?

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Yeah. I'm thinking that she's the sort of girl

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who likes the strong, silent type.

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But I'm not the strong, silent type.

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Yeah, but you could be.

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You just need to be a bit more mysterious.

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Command the room with your brooding presence.

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-You reckon?

-Yeah, it's all in the way you look at her.

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I don't know what you mean?

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If she asks you a question, don't answer her straightaway.

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Hold her gaze for a second, with smouldering intensity.

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Like this.

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You look like you need the loo.

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You know what I mean! You just need to be more mysterious.

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Like you're weighed down with a dark secret.

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OK...like I...killed my mum when I was 15

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and buried her under the patio?

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Not exactly that, just a bit more angst.

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But I'm not an angsty person.

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-Well, pretend, then!

-Girls like that sort of thing.

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-Really?!

-Yeah, it's different when you're older.

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When you get to my age,

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you just want someone who's going to pick their socks up

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off the bedroom floor! But a young girl like that, you know?

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I don't think I can do it.

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Oh, yes, yes, you can. Give us your best shot.

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-Let me see.

-No.

-You need the practice.

-OK.

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That's really good, you see?

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So, from a doctor's perspective, any general thoughts on the system?

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It's pretty good, I'd say.

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Only pretty good?

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Well, I've seen better.

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Really?

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Better functionality, better interface design -

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it's all out there.

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Technology moves at a rapid pace

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but I suppose you already know that.

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Sounds like you know your stuff.

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Well, I like to keep in tune with the latest developments.

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That's interesting, actually.

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Is it?

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Yeah, I reckon we could use someone like you.

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We've been looking for an experienced systems user,

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someone who can help us take our product offering forward.

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A medical professional who also understands technology.

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-Like a consultant?

-Kind of, yeah.

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Maybe...might be something for you and I to discuss?

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I suppose so.

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I'm staying in the area tonight...

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erm, maybe I could buy you dinner

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and we could discuss the possibilities?

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SWING MUSIC PLAYING

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Doctor Khella...

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whatever brings you here?

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I wanted a quick word, if possible.

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Well, well, well, what have we here?

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-Fred, this is Doctor Khella.

-Oh!

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Doctor Khella, this is Fred.

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Well, if my doctor's surgery

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was filled with beautiful people like you,

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I'd develop instant hypochondria!

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Would you care to join me in next dance, Doctor?

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I'm afraid I didn't come here to trip the light fantastic.

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Well, why have you graced us with your heavenly presence?

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I need a quick word with Mrs Bedford.

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Surely that can wait until I've shown you a few things?

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-I don't think you've got anything I really want to see.

-Oh, come on!

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-Well?

-"Well" what?

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-How did you get on?

-Yeah, good. I think.

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You think? What did you find out?

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Well, I think she might be single.

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How come?

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-Because she invited me out to dinner tonight?

-What?!

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It's not my fault, it just happened.

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You are a selfish little sod! Do the decent thing and cancel.

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I must apologise for Fred's behaviour, he's a bit red-blooded.

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So I see.

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So, what can I do for you, Doctor?

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I'm a bit concerned I may have been a bit laissez faire

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when you came to see me earlier.

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I'm not exactly sure what that means?

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I hadn't looked at your records properly.

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I wasn't fully aware of your medical condition.

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Well, I've made up my mind now.

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I didn't come here to try and talk you out of anything...

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Good! Because I've made my decision.

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So I don't need any more of your advice.

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Mrs Bedford, it's my job to be concerned about...

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With all due respect, it's only a few hours

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since you were telling me to "relax and go with the flow".

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I've decided to heed your advice.

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Now...if you'll excuse me, I'm on tea duty.

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Are you all right?

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Yeah. Yeah, fine!

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SWING MUSIC PLAYING

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-How have the interviews been going?

-Fine, thank you.

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-I don't know how you do it.

-Do what?

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All that computer stuff! I wouldn't know where to start.

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-And I bet you're away from home a lot, aren't you?

-A bit, yeah.

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Are you staying in Letherbridge tonight?

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-Yeah, I've got another surgery visit tomorrow.

-Oh!

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You should try the Letherbridge Arms.

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It's very nice and quite good value.

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-I'm already staying at the Letherbridge Lodge.

-Oh, lovely.

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I bet your boyfriend misses you while you're away?

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-I don't have one.

-That's a shame.

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-Is it?

-Well, not so much a shame as...

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Well, it's a bit of a surprise cos lovely young woman like you,

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I thought you'd be fighting them off!

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-Shall we get on with the interview?

-Ooh, yes.

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So, have the others been helpful?

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Yeah, fine, thanks.

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There's a lovely bunch of people here.

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You know, they're really, really helpful.

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-Especially Chris.

-Chris?

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Chris Reid, the practice nurse. You met him earlier.

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-Ah, yeah.

-He's a good looking bloke, don't you think?

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-He's all right, I suppose.

-He's ever so nice.

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I mean, he's not too nice. You know, still waters run deep and all that.

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I reckon there's a lot more to that lad, if you know what I mean?

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I'm not sure that I do.

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I'm not suggesting he's got any dark secrets, or anything,

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all I'm saying is that he's quite a complex character.

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Don't be fooled by the nice guy exterior.

0:15:190:15:21

I'm sure you're very busy, Mrs Hollins,

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and I really do need to press on.

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-So, is it OK if we start the interview?

-Oh, yes.

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I'm terribly sorry but would you mind if I cut in?

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-A woman's prerogative!

-I beg your pardon?

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Changing one's mind.

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Nothing's changed, I just want a word with you.

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HE CHUCKLES That's what they all say - at first.

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Look, we can dance and talk at the same time.

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I don't think so.

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No dance, no talk.

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Talk first, dance later.

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Nah-uh-uh!

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HE CHUCKLES

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One false move and you'll regret it.

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-KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

-Right.

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You're still in with a chance.

0:16:250:16:27

Oh, mate, forget it. I'm not even bothered any more.

0:16:270:16:30

Oh, don't give up now! I've even done some detective work.

0:16:300:16:33

-And...?

-She's single.

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And she's staying at the Letherbridge Lodge tonight.

0:16:350:16:38

Good for her.

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And she thinks you're lovely.

0:16:410:16:43

-Did she actually say that?

-Of course she did.

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With a bit of practice, we'd be very good together.

0:16:500:16:54

I wouldn't hold my breath on that, if I were you.

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Feisty little filly, aren't you? Luckily I enjoy a challenge.

0:16:560:17:01

Does Mrs Bedford know about your passion for a challenge?

0:17:010:17:03

My roving eye is well-known around these parts.

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It's more your roving hands I'm more concerned about.

0:17:060:17:09

I'm an affectionate man, Doctor.

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So I see...

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and maybe there's nothing wrong with a bit of innocent flirting...

0:17:130:17:16

There's nothing innocent about my flirting, I assure you.

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As you'll find out yourself, given time.

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I beg your pardon?

0:17:220:17:24

Let's stop playing games, shall we?

0:17:240:17:25

We both know that we want the same thing here.

0:17:250:17:27

-I honestly don't think that we do.

-Oh-ho!

-Ah!

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-Come on!

-What exactly do you think you're doing?!

0:17:300:17:33

Relax, Doctor, feel the music, enjoy the moment.

0:17:330:17:37

I'm giving you five seconds to let go of me.

0:17:370:17:39

We both know you don't mean that.

0:17:390:17:41

-Back off!

-Mwah! Ha-ha!

0:17:410:17:42

Ah! Argh! Ah!

0:17:420:17:44

-Still here, then?

-Yeah, looks like it.

0:17:510:17:53

Everything OK?

0:17:530:17:55

-Fine, yeah. Almost finished.

-Anything I can help with?

0:17:550:17:58

Like what?

0:17:580:17:59

Erm...

0:17:590:18:00

I...wondered if you want a coffee or something before you leave?

0:18:000:18:03

That's very kind but I've already reached my coffee quota for the day.

0:18:030:18:07

So, I was wondering...

0:18:100:18:11

Yeah?

0:18:110:18:12

Erm...

0:18:150:18:16

I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink with me, erm...

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you know, as you're in the area anyway?

0:18:200:18:22

-I'm afraid not.

-Oh, go on! What's the worst that can happen?

0:18:220:18:26

I'm afraid I'm already going out for dinner

0:18:260:18:28

with Doctor Tyler this evening.

0:18:280:18:30

Oh.

0:18:310:18:34

I hope you cancelled your little arrangement with what's-her-face?

0:18:340:18:36

Give us a break, will you? I've not had a chance.

0:18:360:18:39

You haven't done it yet?!

0:18:390:18:40

I've had patients to see! I was going to go and see her now.

0:18:400:18:43

-Chris is in there asking her out on a date.

-Really?

0:18:430:18:46

-Thanks a lot, mate.

-It's not how it looks.

0:18:490:18:52

-You know about this?

-Not exact... Yeah.

0:18:520:18:55

So you've both been laughing at me behind my back? Great.

0:18:570:19:00

-Mate, it's not like that.

-What is it like, then, mate?

0:19:000:19:02

"Uncle Kevin will help you get a date"!

0:19:020:19:04

Who needs enemies with friends like you?

0:19:040:19:06

Mate, it's a business meeting.

0:19:060:19:08

She asked me and I kind of said yes by accident.

0:19:080:19:11

You "kind of said yes by accident"? Right.

0:19:110:19:15

HE MOANS

0:19:150:19:17

Let me deal with this, I'm a doctor.

0:19:170:19:19

Keep that animal away from me!

0:19:190:19:21

Oh, for goodness' sake, stop being such a big crybaby.

0:19:210:19:24

If you so much as touch me, I'll sue you!

0:19:240:19:26

Trust me, I'm not exactly enthused by the prospect myself.

0:19:260:19:28

I mean it, I'll have you in front of the highest court in the land.

0:19:280:19:31

I'm sure there are a few people in this room

0:19:310:19:33

that would back up my plea of self-defence.

0:19:330:19:36

So, why don't you keep quiet and let me take a look?

0:19:360:19:39

Doctor Khella, what IS going on?

0:19:400:19:44

Listen, mate, it really isn't what you think.

0:19:470:19:49

She just wanted to talk about some consultancy work.

0:19:490:19:52

Consultancy work? Yeah, right.

0:19:520:19:54

Honestly, I'm not the slightest bit interested in her.

0:19:540:19:57

-I was trying to help you.

-You were trying to help me?

0:19:570:20:01

OK, I got...surprised by the dinner invitation

0:20:010:20:05

and I said yes and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry.

0:20:050:20:09

But you can still go for it.

0:20:100:20:12

Kev, don't you think you've humiliated me enough today, mate?

0:20:120:20:14

Listen, mate, I'm not going for the dinner, OK?

0:20:140:20:17

So, why don't you?

0:20:170:20:19

Tell her something's come up for me

0:20:190:20:21

and you're going to have to stand in.

0:20:210:20:22

She said she wants a systems user with a medical background.

0:20:220:20:25

No, I don't think so, mate.

0:20:250:20:26

Mate, it's your one chance to go for a date with no pressure.

0:20:260:20:30

If it doesn't work out, just say it's a business meeting.

0:20:300:20:33

Mate, it's up to you.

0:20:340:20:36

But if you don't turn up,

0:20:360:20:37

she's going to be left sitting there on her own because I ain't going

0:20:370:20:40

and I don't think you're the type of bloke to leave a woman high and dry.

0:20:400:20:44

You're still here, then?

0:20:530:20:54

I really do need to talk to you, Mrs Bedford.

0:20:540:20:57

You've got one minute.

0:20:570:20:59

I'm concerned about your welfare.

0:20:590:21:01

You didn't seem particularly concerned this morning.

0:21:010:21:04

And I was wrong.

0:21:040:21:05

I came here because I realised I'd made a mistake.

0:21:050:21:08

I was concerned about your arthritis

0:21:080:21:11

but now I'm a bit more concerned about your choice of partner.

0:21:110:21:15

You mean Fred?!

0:21:170:21:19

You thought me and him...?

0:21:190:21:21

I wouldn't touch that dirty old letch with a bargepole.

0:21:220:21:26

But...

0:21:260:21:27

I can see this is a bit strange -

0:21:270:21:31

an old woman like me coming to you about something like this

0:21:310:21:34

but you're a doctor, it's your job.

0:21:340:21:37

Yes, you're right.

0:21:370:21:38

Perhaps I should have seen Doctor Tyler after all.

0:21:380:21:41

I should have been more professional.

0:21:410:21:44

Well, I suppose we can all make mistakes.

0:21:460:21:48

I am sorry.

0:21:480:21:50

Apology accepted.

0:21:510:21:52

So, how's it been lately? Your arthritis?

0:21:540:21:58

Oh, well, comes and goes.

0:21:580:22:01

And you're sure that you're comfortable with everything?

0:22:010:22:04

I'm quite sure, thank you.

0:22:040:22:05

Because I'd be happy to discuss it with you.

0:22:050:22:07

No, I don't think that will be necessary.

0:22:070:22:10

Doctor Khella, this is Clive.

0:22:120:22:14

It's a pleasure to meet you.

0:22:140:22:16

About time someone taught that old cad a lesson!

0:22:160:22:19

Well, we should be going.

0:22:200:22:22

Of course we should.

0:22:220:22:24

Have a nice evening, Doctor Khella.

0:22:240:22:26

-You too.

-Thank you.

0:22:260:22:28

Hi.

0:22:390:22:40

What are you doing here?

0:22:420:22:44

Kevin, Doctor Tyler, he asked me to bring you a message.

0:22:440:22:49

He said that he's really sorry but he can't make it.

0:22:490:22:52

-Something's come up.

-Is his phone broken or something?

-No.

0:22:520:22:55

I just thought it would give me a good chance to explain.

0:22:550:22:57

Explain what?

0:22:570:22:59

Why I was so weird at work.

0:22:590:23:01

I think you're lovely...

0:23:020:23:05

and I just get a bit nervous sometimes.

0:23:050:23:07

I'm not particularly very good with girls, er, women...

0:23:070:23:11

but everyone is always telling me that I give up too easy

0:23:110:23:14

and that I need to more assertive.

0:23:140:23:17

So...I've booked a table for dinner for us in the restaurant.

0:23:170:23:21

Have you now?

0:23:210:23:23

Yeah, I just thought it might be nice

0:23:230:23:25

for us to get to know each other outside of work.

0:23:250:23:27

We can talk about the IT systems, if you want to.

0:23:270:23:29

You know, I'm an experienced medical user, with a medical background,

0:23:290:23:33

like you said you wanted, so...

0:23:330:23:34

-..but, I mean, if you've got other plans.

-Not exactly, no.

0:23:350:23:40

I suppose it might be nice to have a bit of company.

0:23:400:23:42

-Are you all right?

-I'm absolutely fine. Why?

0:23:510:23:57

You seem a bit nervous, your hand was shaking.

0:23:570:24:00

Not at all...

0:24:020:24:03

..nothing to be nervous about, is there?

0:24:060:24:08

Well, of course not.

0:24:080:24:10

It's the most natural thing in the world.

0:24:100:24:12

Absolutely.

0:24:120:24:13

But is it really?

0:24:150:24:16

Is what really?

0:24:190:24:21

Is it the most natural thing in the world?

0:24:210:24:23

At our age, I mean?

0:24:230:24:25

Well, I don't know. I assumed...

0:24:260:24:29

You assumed what?

0:24:290:24:31

That you wanted to.

0:24:320:24:33

SHE LAUGHS

0:24:340:24:36

Funnily enough...

0:24:360:24:38

I assumed the same thing about you.

0:24:380:24:41

Really?!

0:24:410:24:42

THEY LAUGH

0:24:420:24:44

Perhaps we should just go with the flow.

0:24:440:24:48

There's no rush, is there?

0:24:480:24:50

Of course not! No rush whatsoever.

0:24:500:24:54

Would you care to dance?

0:24:560:24:58

That does seem...like the most natural thing in the world.

0:24:580:25:03

Well, that was lovely.

0:25:140:25:16

Yeah, it was really nice.

0:25:160:25:17

I must admit...

0:25:180:25:20

it does get a bit lonely eating dinner alone in hotels every night.

0:25:200:25:24

Well, you should count yourself lucky,

0:25:240:25:26

there's thousands of people out there

0:25:260:25:28

who'd kill to have a nice meal in a hotel like this.

0:25:280:25:30

Fair point, I suppose, but this country's full of opportunities.

0:25:300:25:34

If more people took them, they could eat wherever they wanted.

0:25:340:25:38

-You really believe it's that simple?

-Of course I do.

0:25:380:25:41

Well, try telling that to a kid

0:25:410:25:42

who's never seen anybody in his family go out to work.

0:25:420:25:44

Sounds like an excuse to me.

0:25:440:25:46

It's not an excuse, it's a reason.

0:25:460:25:49

-I'm sorry...

-For what?

0:25:510:25:53

-I get a bit carried away sometimes.

-You certainly do.

0:25:530:25:57

I...work at this youth club and some of the kids...

0:25:570:26:00

You don't have to explain everything, you know.

0:26:000:26:03

I do have a tendency of getting on my high horse a bit, so...

0:26:030:26:06

Maybe your colleague was right about you.

0:26:090:26:11

Which one?

0:26:110:26:12

The receptionist.

0:26:120:26:14

Oh, you... Don't listen to her!

0:26:140:26:17

-I'd say there is a bit more to you than meets the eye.

-Oh?

0:26:170:26:21

Well, I don't know about that.

0:26:210:26:22

You've got a bit of passion in there, when you get going.

0:26:220:26:26

I like that.

0:26:260:26:27

So do you have strong views on everything, then?

0:26:280:26:33

No, not everything.

0:26:330:26:36

How do you feel about one-night stands?

0:26:360:26:38

Erm...yeah, they're...

0:26:400:26:43

-No moral objections, then?

-No.

0:26:440:26:47

That's good to know.

0:26:470:26:49

Have you got time for a nightcap?

0:26:510:26:53

Yep.

0:26:560:26:57

You must be very stressed.

0:27:050:27:06

It's no laughing matter, Foster.

0:27:060:27:08

I will be speaking to your supervisor.

0:27:080:27:10

Who's Ruby?

0:27:100:27:11

Erm, she's a respectable woman.

0:27:110:27:13

She's...a medical rep.

0:27:130:27:15

But, most importantly, I want you to remind them

0:27:150:27:18

of the exciting things we've been up to at The Mill.

0:27:180:27:20

All right, Howard, what have you been up to, then?

0:27:200:27:23

May I speak to Mark Ripley, please?

0:27:230:27:25

Speaking.

0:27:250:27:26

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