The Wrong Man Doctors

My name is Craig Dooley.

And I want to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing.

It's all for you, Becky.

When I was in Afghanistan, I wasn't fighting for Bush or Blair,

it was for you, to make your world safe.

And what I'm about to do this evening...

..that's for you, too.

Hold on a minute.

Oh, thanks.

Becky?! It's me, Craig.

Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't...

I know. It's been a while. What are you up to these days?

I'm a paralegal secretary.

I always knew you'd make it once you got rid of me.

-Becky, you forgot your phone.

-Thanks.

-What time are you back?

-About six.

-I'll have something hot for you.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

-All right, mate?

-Fine.

-Sorry, do I know you?

-No. I'm no-one.

Oh, well, I think the council pay you to push that cart,

not stand next to it.

Oh, hello, what are you doing here?

-What do you mean?

-I thought you'd be at the hospital.

Oh, no, he came home yesterday.

Oh, right.

Don't worry. He's got a carer.

He's not going to set the house alight.

Well, it's a good sign, isn't it? That he's allowed home.

I offered to take the whole month off to look after him.

But he says he just wants things to get back to normal.

So that's the plan.

There you go. That was quite a nasty cut.

-Yeah.

-So how did you do it?

Picking up a broken bottle.

Right. I would have thought they'd give you protective gloves.

Well, what do they care?

If anything happens to me, there's millions more people need work.

Right. Was there anything else?

No.

Hang on! Is it the fourth of Feb today?

Yeah.

Many happy returns!

-Thanks.

-Are you doing anything special?

I've got a few things to sort out first.

Do I know you?

I don't think so.

Dooley. Private Dooley.

So, are you working?

Yeah.

Can you say what, or is it for MI6?

-I'm a street cleaner.

-Oh.

-Do you have a problem with that?

-No, I...

Street cleaners are the first line of defence preventing

-civilians from suffering a slip and trip injury.

-Hear, hear!

It's a very important job.

I just thought somebody with your experience and skill

could have aimed a little higher.

You think because I clean rubbish, that means I'm rubbish.

-I didn't say that. I...

-That I'm subhuman. The lowest of the low.

Give that back!

There'd be mess everywhere. Taking you over. Destroying you!

I am not rubbish. That's rubbish.

What was that about?

It's all right. It's under control.

-KNOCKING

-Enter!

Chris. How are things?

Oh, you know. We're still a bit shaken.

I'm not surprised.

He's home now. And we're just trying to get everything sorted.

Well, if there's anything I can do...

Actually, there is. Could you take over as Dad's GP?

I'm not sure I'd be the best person.

You'd be better than his current doctor. He's useless.

I'm better than useless? That's very reassuring(!)

That's not what I mean, but it'd just be so much more convenient.

In what way?

Having him treated here, where we work.

Yeah, it's usually frowned upon to treat a colleague's partner.

There are all sorts of issues regarding confidentiality.

It could put your mum in a tricky situation.

Probably best if you found someone else.

OK. Please just think about it for me though, yeah?

Oh, flamin'... Just open!

-Give it here.

-Oh!

My hero!

I think you'd loosened it a bit.

He's a superhero, and he's modest!

Sometimes I think the only fact that my marriage stays together is

that Rob can get the lids off jam jars.

Really?!

Last year, when Jack and Immie left, we had so many rows.

We had one really bad one,

he storms off, and I was just about to call the divorce lawyers.

Then, I really fancied a pickled onion, like you do.

So I couldn't get the lid off.

So what did you do?

Well, I wasn't going to ask him - that would have been humiliating.

So I just stared at it, and salivated.

But I was really grateful when we kissed and made up.

Well, I'm always happy to help.

They think I'm rubbish.

And you pretend you don't even know me.

It's like, when you put on a street cleaner's uniform,

you become invisible.

You remember Mortlake School disco, 1996? The first time we danced.

Our very first kiss...

Things were so good between us.

Hello?

GLASS SHATTERS

-Craig.

-What do you want?

Well, I was just in the area, and...

I wanted to say sorry if I offended you.

You've said it. You can go now.

I also wanted to know if you're OK.

If there was anything I could do to help.

I'm not in the army any more. I don't have to take orders from you.

-You never did take orders from me.

-Oh, yeah? Huntley Training Camp.

2002. You gave us a talk. Just before we flew to Bagram.

Are you sure that was me?

You said we could never be 100% sure of winning.

But we had to be 100% sure that we deserved to win.

That was me.

Small world.

Look, I know it's tough, getting back to life on Civvy Street,

-so if there's anything I can do to help...

-No.

Fine.

Wait! There is one thing.

I must say, you keep this place spotless.

Well, you have to.

Once you allow dust to settle, it starts to take over.

Is that your girlfriend?

No.

She's my ex-wife.

We were together for five years.

But when I went off to Afghanistan,

she dumped me for some posh git who works in advertising.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

-How could she do that?

When I'm laying my life on the line for her?

Some people can be cruel.

So... can you have a word with her?

What?!

Just tell her to give me another chance.

-I can't do that.

-But you know the right words.

You spoke to me, made me feel it was the best thing to do with my life.

But that was a choice you made.

I can't do anything if she's chosen to be with this guy.

No! She's made the wrong choice!

-She's got the wrong man.

-How can you possibly know that?

I became a street cleaner so I could keep an eye on her.

So I could see her go to work in the morning,

and come home safe at night.

You see - she takes St John's wort for depression.

She orders about six holiday brochures a month.

That's not the sign of someone who's happy, is it?

If she finds out about this, she'll put out a restraining order.

You said, "You can never be 100% sure you're going to win.

"But you've got to be 100% sure that you deserve to win."

And I am. I am sure.

How do you know she's not better off with this other bloke?

He's been having a relationship with some girl he met on the internet.

They send each other the most disgusting, filthy e-mails.

How do you know about that?

Because it's me.

-KNOCKING

-Come in.

Cup of tea.

Thank you.

I just wanted to say sorry for banging on about jam jars,

pickled onions and my marital problems

when I know what things are like for you and your mum and your dad.

It's nice to hear someone else's problems for a change.

I feel so helpless, Karen.

But then I think about Dad, and how does he feel?

Poor bloke can't even tie his shoelaces.

Ohh.

We were so close to losing him.

Come here.

What you need is some positive thinking.

I don't know what it must be like for your dad, but I do know

he's got a wife who loves him, and a son he must be so proud of.

And that's maybe what pulled him through,

what keeps him going.

Yeah.

You have to stay strong for him.

Hello?

'Hi, is that Becky Devonish?'

It is.

My name is Howard Bellamy.

I'm the manager of The Mill Health Centre.

Right...

'I need to talk to you about your ex-husband.'

-My what?

-Your ex-husband, Craig Dooley.

OK, this is weird.

Craig Dooley is some guy I went to school with.

I can vaguely remember him,

but... he's started working in my street as a cleaner.

I didn't even recognise him at first, but...

Ah. I think we should meet up.

I still don't think I'm the right man for the job.

You're the best GP I've met.

I'm not an expert of spinal injuries.

I know, but... Sam is very depressed,

and I think seeing you might cheer him up a bit.

Yes, but if I'm Sam's doctor, it could become awkward

if he divulges personal, sensitive information.

What, sex, you mean?

Well, not specifically, but that might crop up.

Heston, Sam and I don't have a sex life.

We barely had one before the accident.

Please go and see him?

So. What's he been saying about me?

He's beginning to form some kind of obsession.

Did you know he was in Afghanistan?

-No.

-I think he's suffering from post-traumatic stress.

He's begun to believe that you two were a couple,

probably because it's a nicer thing to think of.

But I've hardly ever said two words to him.

In his head, you were married.

I don't think he means you any harm,

but I think he bears some kind of grudge against your husband.

What?

Alan works from home.

Alan?!

So, do you think you'll be able to take me on?

Well, I do have a very full list,

and I have some reservations about treating the husband of a colleague.

It could prove quite... awkward.

I wouldn't worry about that.

When you've been poked and prodded as much as I have in some

of the places I have, you lose all sense of embarrassment.

Right, well, let me ask you a few questions.

-Good. I'd like to ask you a question.

-OK.

What do you think about death?

What is it?

For the past few weeks,

Alan's been getting these weird e-mails from some girl called Honey.

She says she saw his photo on his website.

And we thought it was some kind of scam, but...

now she wants to meet up in her parents' summer house

to have sex. It's him, isn't it?

Yes. Do you think Alan's gone round there?

He might have, to stop whoever's doing it.

I think we should call the police.

So they can give him a slap on the wrist?

-No, I'm going to deal with this.

-Becky!

You see, I need to be 100% sure that I'm right.

So this is what I'm going to do.

If he doesn't show up, then fine, he deserves you.

But if he comes to my house, believe me,

he deserves everything that's coming to him.

This is Judgement Day.

What if he didn't get the last e-mail?

Of course. And he wouldn't fall for it.

-Let me go and have a look.

-No!

-You stay here.

Craig?

You shouldn't be here.

What are you doing?

I'm on a mission...

to find out the truth about that guy she lives with.

Where is he?

You and Becky were never married.

But we should have been. She married the wrong man.

Now I'm going to put things right.

There are some battles you can't win.

Sometimes you've got to make a tactical retreat

before you ruin your life.

It's my birthday today.

And I always said, by the time I was 30, that I'd be with her.

So that's what I'm going to do.

When I was in hospital, people were being given very strong drugs,

having tubes shoved up their nose,

all so they could have a few days more,

or a few hours more, minutes.

What for?

Emma said you were pretty depressed.

I'm not depressed. I'm just frustrated about my condition.

I mean, how would you cope?

Oh, I don't know. I think I'd be impossible to live with.

But I'd want to carry on living.

One thing I do like - at least I get to see things grow.

That tree outside.

First I'll see it blossom, then I'll see the leaves swell...

..then I'll have all the pleasures of autumn.

Seasons of mists and mellow fruitfulness.

Close-bosom friend of the maturing sun.

We don't give the seasons enough fuss, do we?

We eat the same thing all year round.

This time of year, we should be eating winter greens,

followed by a nice bowl of rhubarb crumble.

Oh, I couldn't agree more.

I think you're going to be my kind of patient.

I thought you said your list was full.

Well... I'll start another one.

I know, in your head, you think it's right,

-but she's married to another man.

-So what do I do? Just give up?

Sometimes that's all we can do.

You're just the same, aren't you?

-What?

-You've got someone. Who you can't be with.

I can see it in your eyes.

It's like you're not all there.

Even if there was somebody,

if they've chosen to be with someone else, there's not much I can do.

No! This is fate! This is how it was meant to be!

Alan, where are you?!

Please, whatever you're doing, just call me.

Even if she wasn't married,

she probably wouldn't look at you twice, you're a mess.

You're living in your mum's old house,

and you've got a job as a cleaner. Come on, son, pick yourself up.

Stop obsessing with this woman and sort your life out.

That's what I'm doing.

Becky's in the car outside.

You two need to talk to each other.

She's angry with you, and I don't blame her.

I saw three of my mates killed by a roadside bomb.

And I always thought, why was I the one who didn't die?

And then I realised -

because I should never have been in Afghanistan.

I should have been here with Becky.

That bomb was meant for someone else.

And that's my mission. To pass it on to the right person.

BEEPING

EXPLOSION

Becky! No!

KNOCKING

Come in.

Hello. Forget something?

No, but I've been thinking about what you said.

About death?

No. Rhubarb.

Little deli where I live. Yorkshire rhubarb.

First of the season.

Do you feed all your patients this way?

-No, but I do have an ulterior motive.

-Right.

I have to give a speech on Wednesday.

Part of a symposium on the modern role of the NHS.

And I understand you used to be a lecturer.

I could do with some hints.

I could try. But first, I'd love to try the rhubarb.

She died instantly.

The bomb contained fragments of broken glass and weed killer.

From what I've been told, a typical IED, but you'd know that already.

Where's Craig now?

The doctor's just seen him.

It's going to be a long time before he's fit to interview.

You do know the bomb wasn't meant for her.

It was meant for her husband.

Yeah, we do.

I'd just nipped into town for a few minutes.

My wife and I, we've been having some problems.

I suffer from depression,

and I'd been getting these weird e-mails,

and Becky was just so wonderful at calming me down.

So I decided... I decided to book a surprise holiday.

We were going to go to the Maldives.

Scuba diving.

It was going to be... a second honeymoon.

Was there anything else I could have done?

I don't know.

You could have told us,

we could have set up a surveillance operation.

But it would probably have still been too late.

I just wish there was more we could have done for him

-when he left the army.

-I agree.

We take on these young lads, train them up, put them through hell.

And then when we're finished with them,

cast them aside, put them on the scrapheap.

No wonder they have problems.

He left a video. We're working our way through it.

I've been all round the world, and I've seen so much injustice.

I've been to countries where they stone you to death

for falling in love with the wrong person.

But the worst injustice of all is that, 15 years ago,

you said no to me.

But if you do change your mind, things will get better.

We can change the world, you and me, Becky, forever...

So you're worried about getting up

-in front of all these health professionals?

-That's right.

Well, I can imagine - don't worry about them,

they've all got their own issues.

You're there to represent, say,

an 82-year-old woman who... needs a new hip,

or a five-year-old suffering from chronic asthma.

Right.

So you fight for them. Tell their story.

That's it.

Good advice.

Bayezid, the first great Ottoman emperor - do you know the story?

I don't, actually.

I'll cut to the chase -

he was defeated in 1402 by a Turkish warlord, named Timur.

After the battle, what do you think Timur did by way of punishment?

Hung, drawn and quartered?

Nothing so humane.

He held him prisoner and he put him in a golden cage.

And every night, he let him out of the cage for three hours,

and he'd use him as a footstool.

And if this wasn't humiliation enough, Timur at the same time made

Bayezid's wife serve everyone dinner, but he made her do it naked.

This cosy little arrangement went on for seven months,

until, finally, Bayezid managed to commit suicide

by repeatedly banging his head on the bars of his golden cage.

And you see parallels between Bayezid and yourself?

Oh, no.

Just, when things are bad, I like to look at the great losers of history.

I'm not the first person to be a prisoner.

And things will get better.

I know.

Patience.

I'll just have to ask someone else.

Daniel, perhaps.

Heston... Heston?

Did you find anything out about yourself?

Yeah.

Apparently, I'm not a very nice person to know.

I hardly think some old, tatty bunting is appropriate.

With all due respect,

I think I have more of an idea of what the Reverend would like.

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