The Morning After the Night of the Living Dead Doctors

You can make the right choice just trust yourself.

Trust you, you mean! I don't even really know you.

BOTH SCREAM

Julia? Can you hear me?

What about the driver?

Think she's priority. Head trauma.

Julia? Try not to move

Julia?

Julia?

Julia?

Julia, do you know where you are?

SHE MUMBLES

You were in an accident.

LABOURED BREATHING

Nurse?

Julia, try not to move. You've had concussion

and they've put you under sedation.

-WHISPERS

-Martin... Martin's car...

Julia.

HE YELPS

I can't remember.

Don't try and force it. You're doing fine.

Hello. Is it OK to come in?

Aww. You back with us?

Did I have you worried?

Not for a minute, you're as tough as old boots, you.

These are from all of us.

Thank you.

And this is from the secret stash in your office.

Can't face the world without a bit of lippy.

What do I have to face?

What happened?

I just can't remember.

You're doing fine. No serious injuries,

just bruising and concussion.

Martin?

It's OK, just cuts and scrapes.

Nothing you couldn't cover with a plaster.

SHE SOBS

Sorry, I'm sorry. Stupid...

No... Oh.

SHE SOBS

Craig.

What time do you call this?

-Sorry, bus was late.

-I've been trying to call you since I got here.

Were you the last to leave yesterday?

-Having fun and games in the chapel of rest, were we?

-How d'you mean?

Someone's moved a coffin in there and damaged it in the process.

Not me, boss.

And it wasn't there when you left?

So someone's moves a coffin from the basement

without you knowing, and...

PHONE RINGS

Don't go anywhere.

Good morning, Kearney's.

Oh, Vicky.

Really?

You seemed perfectly fine yesterday.

Well, do try and make it in this afternoon, if you can, hmm?

Vicky's not well. Again.

Oh?

I wonder if she's cut out for this.

I thought she was doing OK.

By your standards, maybe.

Do you want me to clean up?

Not yet.

Yes. Police, please.

All sorted. I've called Patrick, he'll be here

soon as he can, but he knows that you're fine, so no panic.

Just as well we made some headway into the bucket list

-with your attempt at kicking one

-That's terrible!

What? Would you rather we laugh or cry?

Come on, then.

Tell me, how bad was it?

I think I'm awake enough to hear the truth.

Well, the car's a write-off.

JULIA SIGHS

How both of you escaped serious injury

is nothing short of miraculous.

Someone up there cares for you.

Hmm.

Martin.

Erm...

-Hello.

-Hello.

Has he come round at all?

No. Nothing.

-No wallet, no mobile.

-No.

This is not a real shirt.

'Control to 7244, can you give me your location?'

I'm at the RTC just off Finton Road.

I've got one shocked driver

and one serious casualty - head trauma.

Doesn't look good.

It was such a stupid argument.

Don't worry about it.

Is that what caused the accident?

No. Some idiot came out of nowhere.

And your car.

Hey, it's a car, I've got plenty more.

It can be replaced, you can't.

I've been thinking about it, lying there -

-I'm going to rent a flat. Here, in Letherbridge. For now.

-Why?

Why not? I'm not going to leave you here like this.

-What do you take me for?

-I'll be fine.

And I'll be happier when I see that for myself.

Martin, there's no need for you to do that.

It's just more delays, more expense.

If you're worried about the money, I could always kip on your couch.

This is not making me feel any better.

If you keep putting it off...

And what if the accident has made me see what's really important?

You see, this is what I mean, there'll always be something.

You're not something, you're everything.

Anyway, I've got to pop in and see the registrar and get signed off.

I'll pop back later.

BABY CRIES

Come on, Joe. Why won't you settle?

You've seen the duckies, changed your nappy, you're fed...

Come on.

OK, all right, fine.

You want me to do it?

# And then you've really got to speed it up

# The you've got to slow it down... #

BABY GURGLES

# If you believe that our love... #

BABY COOS

# So you find that there comes a time

# For making your... #

"You're not something, you're everything"?

That's what every girl wants to hear.

It's ridiculous, isn't it?

What? That he wants to be with you?

No, that he wants me to retire with him.

You clearly love him.

It's not love.

Get out! I saw your face when you thought you'd lost him.

-Can't fool us.

-Much as you think you can fool yourself.

Patrick should be here by now.

I need some clean clothes.

Anything missing?

Not much, apart from one of our laying-out suits.

-Laying-out suits?

-Well, I can show you. Craig...

This is really weird.

I've just seen one of these on an RTC victim.

Are you sure all your clients are accounted for?

I can assure you all our deceased are present and correct.

This one wasn't deceased. Not far off it, but he wasn't.

If he's not dead...

So you think someone got up and walked out?

That'll do, Craig.

But it's stupid.

Yeah, it is stupid. But can I have a look anyway?

This way.

I don't know what it is you want, sweetheart. Shh.

PHONE RINGS

'Karen, Daniel.'

A bit of an emergency, Buck's Fizz has stopped working.

'Are you doing it right?'

Well, I thought I was. Any chance of a refresher?

'Over the phone?'

I've just got back after visiting Julia -

who is fine, by the way, thank you very much for asking.

I can't drop everything and come running over.

I can't come there because,

if Zara sees me, she'll know something's wrong.

Zara's on home visits this morning, so if you're quick...

BABY CRIES

You can see where it's been damaged.

-Yeah, I can. And have you noticed this blood?

-What? No.

Well, our man in the traffic collision has a head wound

which the paramedics are pretty sure had happened before the car hit him.

I need to get SOCO here for a proper look around.

Things keep getting better.

Would you mind coming with me to St Phil's to try and ID the man?

Because if you can't, it may legitimately rule out

any connection with your firm.

-If we can go now.

-Yeah.

-I've got a service this afternoon.

Car's washed and ready, floral tributes out of cold storage,

Mrs Butler on the dolly.

And don't let anyone else come in here please, no employees,

-not until forensics arrive.

-Sure.

-Thanks.

It's me. Call me soon as you get this.

So, it's just a question of the CT scan and then she can come home.

Right, well, we'll go round after work,

see if she's settled and managing.

I know Patrick's going later.

Ooh, what are you doing here?

Morning. We were just passing.

Do you want a cup of tea? Kettle's just boiled.

Oh, lovely. Look Joe, it's Uncle Jimmi.

Your favourite toy.

He's a bit grizzly bear this morning, isn't he.

Yes, he's been doing his Exorcist impression.

You wouldn't think someone that size could projectile vomit

clear across a room, would you?

Yeah, sometimes it doesn't stop all day shooting out one end,

exploding out the other.

Well...I've got patients to see. Catch you later, mate.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, dear, dear.

Come on, then.

I'm not doing it here. We'll go into Zara's room.

-Are you sure?

-He's a complete stranger.

Can you make any sense of this?

Not at the moment.

If these things are related,

he breaks in, dresses like a corpse...

What happened to his own clothes? Was he naked?

Well, I don't suppose it'll make any sense unless he wakes up.

Or we find an accomplice.

How well do you know your staff?

-Enough to know they wouldn't put their own jobs at risk.

-Right.

How easy do you think it would have been to break in?

That's what I'd like to know.

There's no sign of it...

Our security system's state of the art.

We'll need to talk with your staff.

Well, everyone's in today, except Vicky.

# You've got to speed it up and then you've got to slow it down. #

You need to loosen up and have a bit of fun.

-All right. OK.

-Yeah.

BABY COOS

# You've got to speed it up and then you've got to slow it down. #

He's going off already.

My magic booty never fails.

Are you going to be done soon? We've got a viewing this afternoon

You weren't supposed to know about Buck's Fizz.

And that's supposed to make it all right, is it?

To think, if Mrs Bickerstaff's angina hadn't turned out

to be pickled onions I'd be none the wiser.

Come on, little man, you've had your lunch feed and a change.

I should take him home.

What? So you can run some Village People routine?

Just leave us, Daniel.

You definitely got your grumpy pants from your daddy.

# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A... #

If you could keep the police presence to a minimum, it would help.

We do rely on giving the bereaved a place of quiet contemplation.

We'll do our best to be discreet, Mr Kearney, don't worry.

Vicky? Feeling better?

Is there something wrong?

Yeah, well, something happened on the premises last night.

Were you here yesterday? Did you see anything unusual?

Maybe strangers hanging around?

You did help Craig close up yesterday, yes?

Vicky?

-Are you all right, love?

-What's the matter?

-Do you want to come in and sit down?

-Maybe you should've stayed at home.

You look like you've seen a ghost.

SIGHS

Think that's everything.

Oh, great. Thank you.

You stay put, you've still got your CT scan to come.

I've had it, I just got back.

Oh, good. Well there's still no rush.

No news from Patrick?

No.

Oh, he's probably on his way.

JULIA SIGHS

Julia...

..life is painfully short and makes no sense at all.

Last night was proof of that.

OK, give it to me, what would you do?

What wouldn't I do?

Well, I've been there too many times.

But have you got the same feelings for the others as you have for him?

If you let him go, you'll regret it.

Yes, but weighed up against everything else...

Who are you trying to kid?

We both know how competitive you are.

What's that go to do with anything?

First to cross the finishing line in the bucket list marathon?

Karen and me, choking on your dust?

Graduate with honours and...

and the perfect man into the bargain?

Look, love, if you know anything about the break in last night,

anything at all, it's best you come clean now.

Vicky?

-SHE SOBS

-I killed him! I didn't mean to!

-Who? You killed who?

-My boyfriend.

It was an accident.

Bazza came to pick me up last night, I was running late

and somebody came in to settle their account,

so I left him waiting on his own.

Then what?

I came looking for him.

I thought I'd get into trouble with Mr Kearney, and...

Just tell the officer what happened.

He was hiding in the coffin

and did this whole stupid back-from-the-dead thing.

It was dark in here, and he sprang up and it was awful.

I heard her scream.

Did you? So you've known about this all along?

I was trying to protect her.

I hit him with that and he fell out of the coffin

and his head made a really horrible sound when he hit the floor.

She thought she'd killed him. I thought she had too.

And how did he end up stumbling down a country lane?

Stumbling?

We panicked and got rid of the body, only he wasn't dead, Vicks.

I didn't kill him?

No, you didn't.

But he's in hospital. And he's in quite a bad way, I'm afraid.

Are you going to arrest me?

Probably, but I don't know what for yet.

Don't you? Attempted murder? Vandalism? Trying to cover it up?

She's not to blame.

Craig did nothing wrong except help me.

The way you two speak you'd think no-one's to blame for anything.

OK, calm down, sir. PHONE RINGS

Sergeant Hollins.

Yep. OK. It's the hospital.

-Do you think they'll let me see him?

-We'll see.

-You're going?

-Only up the wall.

I'm fed up of lying in bed and waiting for something to happen.

Here, let me help.

I've been dressing myself for quite some time.

You know, you shouldn't stop people doing things for you out of love.

Martin...

I thought...maybe the accident might've changed everything.

Perhaps you'd reconsider?

Um...

-Mum!

-Patrick.

-I'm really sorry I couldn't get here any sooner.

It's all right, love.

I thought better of you.

Why? For looking out for a workmate?

Trying to get the mess off your doorstep even if it means

I could get banged up for it?

There's no integrity in what you've done, however you look at it.

-What respect did you show the deceased?

-He's not dead.

You thought he was when you threw him in a ditch. You're an idiot, incompetent airhead!

Yeah, all right, I get it! I'm not cut out for the job.

But you've been looking for an excuse to dump me for ages now.

What do you mean?

Now I've qualified, you'd have to pay me a decent wage.

I gave you an opportunity.

No. You got someone you can talk down to,

so you can be the big boss.

You got Vicky for the same reason.

I see the way you treat her. I bet you'll be even worse now,

once I'm out the way.

Good luck getting a job elsewhere.

-Because I won't be giving you a reference.

-KNOCKING

Come in.

Are you going to arrest me? Can I go?

Well, at the moment, as far as I can tell, you can be charged with

trying to cover up accidental death and the illegal disposal of a body.

There's been no death.

Exactly, it's been a bit of a pig's ear.

All because of a bad practical joke and a lie.

Hopefully for you, the victim will confirm what you've told us

-when he wakes up.

-So he'll be all right?

-He's not 100%,

-but they think he'll make a recovery.

-Right.

Good.

Vicky'll be made up. So, can I...?

You can go, but not far.

You and Vicky will need to come down the station to make a statement.

I just want it sorted. I am sorry, honest.

And you can stuff your job.

He might not be the best, but he's not all bad.

Do you think? I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

Yeah, you get what you pay for.

And an undertaker who can't tell if someone's dead or alive?

Bit of a liability.

I couldn't get here last night.

Last night I wouldn't have known if you were here or not.

Yeah, but you should have family with you.

Elaine's been taking care of me, and Martin's been here.

Nice to meet you at last, your...

-So you were driving?

-Yeah.

Wow, wow, hang on, it wasn't Martin's fault.

And I am fine, honestly, really, I'm just a bit shaken.

You're coming to Sally's for a few days.

I'm supposed to be seeing Chloe anyway. It's all arranged, the spare room's ready.

-You don't need to be on your own.

-She isn't.

Chloe's desperate to see you're OK.

Um, what does she know? What did you tell her?

She's fine. She's already in her nurse's uniform and waiting for you.

Julia Parsons results?

Great timing. What's the verdict, can she travel?

How's he doing?

No change.

At least I didn't kill him.

I feel so awful.

Don't forget why this happened.

I'm scared I'll lose him.

Do you still want him?

I suppose. I do sort of...love him.

What if he's got brain damage?

I'd have to take care of him, wouldn't I? it's still my fault.

-I'd help you.

-Yeah?

Push his wheelchair. Change his nappy.

Don't! That's not funny.

I've proved I'd be there for you.

Yeah, you have.

You might have gone to jail for me.

Thanks.

-Vicky, I...

-I want to phone my mum, let her know I'm here.

When I come back, will you still be here?

Who's been a stupid little boy then?

OK, here we go. This is strictly between you and Mummy, got it?

-# You've gotta speed it up and then you gotta slow it down. #

-BABY CRIES

Don't say a word. Why isn't he settling?

You're doing it wrong. Give it some oomph. Shall I get Karen to show you?

No, I don't want her to show me! Front and centre, Granger.

If you're sure.

# You gotta speed it up and then you gotta slow it down

# Cos if you believe that a love can hit the top

# You gotta play around

# And soon you will find there comes a time

# For making your mind up. #

Found your little joke before they did...

so it'll be our little secret, right?

'Check this out, web fans, this is going to be brilliant.

'You'll seriously wet yourself. Hold up, she's coming...

You in here? Baz?

-Boooo!

-Aargh!

THUMP

Here's the best bit, look.

Is he...?

Go get one of the dollies. We'll get him in a hearse and get him away.

I've killed him? No!

Quick, do it!

What now?

You were brain-dead before she brained you.

She deserves way better but you just won't stay dead, will you?

ALARM RINGS

What've you done?

You all right?

Why'd you kill him?!

Vicky!

I did it for you!

'Security alert, code red.'

There's no need to whisk your mother away.

-No?

-You should be in your own bed after something like this.

She'll have her friends around her.

Yeah, this way she'll have her family with her.

Look, I appreciate your concern, but maybe you should worry about yourself for a while.

You don't want to be burdened.

She isn't a burden.

Well, maybe Patrick has a point, sweetie.

What were you going to say?

When?

Before he came in.

Sorry, this is exactly what I'm talking about,

she doesn't need this. She's had a shock and needs rest,

she needs quiet, she doesn't need all these questions.

No matter how well-intentioned. You ready, Mum?

I'd offer you a lift but we've got a long drive ahead of us...

I think it's probably better this way. Take care of yourself, yeah?

Julia...

I'll call you.

I do have HIV

but it does not have me.

But you have not seen the doctor in nearly a year.

OK, so...

You got a list?

Yeah.

I asked you not to take any action.

I thought about how I would feel

when I heard about that woman's death.

SHE CRIES

Oh, sweetheart, Oh, my darling girl, all right.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd