Reality Check Doctors

# I really wanna make you mine... # PHONE RINGING

# Four, five, six Come on and get your kicks

# You don't need money when You look like that, do ya, honey... #

'Hello Mitch, it's Carol Jennings from Social Care Services.

'I'm afraid I've spoken to your landlord,

'and he has confirmed that unless we put some targets in place for you,

'he will go ahead with the eviction.

'I'll be round to see you this morning at around 11.

'This really is your last chance, Mitch. Please be there.'

# But you were with another man Yeah

# I know we ain't got much to say

# Before I let you get away Yeah

# I said Are you gonna be my girl? #

A thousand apologies.

Another champagne hangover?

Sadly, no. As I said to Mrs Tembe, I merely overslept.

Did you have a good break, Dr Carter?

Very pleasant, thank you.

I went to a most beautiful Easter service.

The church was filled with flowers, some of which I grew myself.

Sounds very civilised.

We managed to find the muddiest nature trail

in the whole of Letherbridge and clocked up five pratfalls between us!

Heston, I don't suppose you can recommend a good plasterer, can you?

Jimmi insisted on clearing out the loft

and put his foot straight through the spare room ceiling.

I wish I'd seen that!

Sorry, Cherry, I...

News flash, everyone.

Joe smiled for the very first time yesterday.

Oh, let me see.

-Aww.

-Oh, he is so beautiful!

-Yes, he is.

-Hiya.

-Hey.

-Ta-dah!

-Brilliant!

Fun time!

Can't we just chill at yours, Mitch? I can't remember the last time we...

Shut it, Will. Who asked you to come?

Hi. I'm really sorry to disturb you.

My name's John Williams and, well, I know this might sound strange,

but I've got a really good chance of winning an Olympic gold medal

this summer in wheelchair tennis. The thing is...

The firm that's been sponsoring me has just gone out of business

and it looks like I won't be able to compete

unless I can raise £1,000.

Obviously I'm really gutted,

and I've been building up to this for most of my life.

But both my parents died when I was six in a car accident...

Anyway, you've probably seen the campaign they've been running in the local press,

-and I was wondering if...

-Yes, of course,

I'll just get my purse.

-Best of luck.

-Thanks.

He is the master!

This is crazy.

OK, he's always liked a laugh but...

Aw, what's wrong?

Is William feeling left out again?

Candy from a baby!

-I don't like this, Mitch. I think...

-What is it with you?

-You think I'd turn into a saint now I'm stuck in this thing?

-No.

You're just doing stuff you never used to.

Oh, shut up, you nag.

Yeah. Stop being such an old woman, Will!

Seven more of them and you can buy me those boots.

In your dreams, Alice Ainsworth. I'm getting a new telly.

That sounds great.

Yes, OK, I'll see you later. Bye.

Was that...?

Yes, that was Martin.

And yes, I am seeing him tonight.

Julia and Martin, Martin and Julia, who'd have thought?!

It's just one date, Karen!

Well, you know what they say.

"Every journey just begins with one step."

Oh, thank you, Mrs Dalai Lama!

It's a night out.

No more, no less.

Done it again!

You were brilliant!

Yeah, but it's not exactly fair to go around...

Fair? Life's not fair!

Suckers!

Gushing with pity as soon as they saw my puppy dog eyes.

Why don't you get home and do your knitting?

Yeah, Will. Man up or get off. You can be such a wet sometimes.

Come on, it's not exactly hard, is it?

I bet I could do just as well as Mitch if I had a prop.

You mean this?

Why don't you give it a go, then?

Oh, great idea!

Here's your chance, Will. Show us what you're made of.

Are you a man or a muppet?

And how about this?

Whoever collects the most gets all the money in the bucket.

And my deep and serious respect.

You're on!

Hang on a minute.

It's all yours, mate.

Hi.

I...

Sorry, I...

Don't waste my time. Go away.

What the hell was that?!

It's a bucketful you want, not an earful!

What a jerk!

Heston, have you got a minute?

We're trying to pin down when the break-in happened.

Break-in?

-Sorry.

-It's all under control, Mrs Tembe.

If you'd like to come through.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Are you OK?

I think Dr Carter has been robbed.

-We thought she'd taken you hostage. What kept you?

-Easy!

Wow!

She loved me! I think she wanted to adopt me!

How did you do it?

I just laid it on thick, it was a doddle.

Well done, you!

Knock it off, Alice!

Will Jackson, the new Bucket Master!

Thanks, Rob.

Yeah, no problem. I'll let you know if we hear anything.

-Sergeant Hollins, I...

-Oh, excuse me.

Go ahead. 7244.

Dr Carter, why did you not tell us that you had been robbed?

I didn't want to worry anybody.

Sorry, folks got to go.

Scammer in the area. You know, I'm sure they save these jobs for me.

So what happened?

There was a break-in at my house. These things happen.

-Yes, Heston, but you really need...

-Sign of the times.

You have to expect to be burgled once or twice in your life.

There's nothing you can do.

Did they get away with much?

-Oh, usual stuff, TV, computer.

-Disgraceful!

Well, I'm fully insured, so no harm done.

Mr Henchard?

Come this way.

Come and get it, then!

Want to try a house, Mitch? I'm sure...

No! I'm going. I'm bored of it.

-Hang on a minute.

-Hey, look.

Oi!

Wait up!

KNOCK ON DOOR

A little pick-me-up.

Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

I am concerned about you, Dr Carter.

Well, don't be.

It was just a few items that were well past their best.

But it was not just the loss of material goods, was it?

A stranger entered your home, went through your precious things,

and made you a victim again so soon after that terrible...

A few gadgets that someone helped themselves to, that's all it was.

If you are sure.

I am.

Well, I must say, I do admire your strength of character.

Paralympics! So what sport did you tell them that you did?

Wheelchair pole vaulting?

Ha-ha. That's very funny.

You've taken advantage of very generous people,

but now it's time to give the money back.

No way! I was doing them a favour. They loved it!

Gave them a little thrill.

It makes them feel superior, having someone to pity.

Did it ever occur to you

-you may put people off giving money to genuine charities?

-Not my problem.

Really? OK. Where've you hidden it?

I said, where is it?

-If you don't get out of that chair...

-Are you going to arrest me?

One day you might need a wheelchair for real, and you'll look back on this...

And remember that lame-brain policeman

that got his knickers in a twist,

cos a few dopey old women dropped me a few quid?

Right. I am going to arrest you for theft.

Right, in the car.

-But, Officer, I can't.

-Get out of the chair...

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention, when questioned,

something you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

CAR HORN BLARES

We shouldn't have run off like that.

Forget it, Will.

We did him a favour. We took away the evidence.

I don't think we should spend the money.

I wouldn't be too cut up about it, if I were you.

You should hear what he says about you when you're not there.

What do you mean?

He moans at me whenever you ring him.

He says you bring everything down.

I've been trying to help him.

Look... The best thing we can do now is lie low for a bit.

And have a good time, while we're at it.

You were brilliant back there, you know.

I didn't think you had it in you.

Are you hungry?

Oh, he's been winding me up all the way here.

I've asked Alan Evans to bring him in.

Hope you don't let this guy out in a cop car.

He can't even handle one of these!

Thank you, Constable.

He was much gentler than you, though. You brute!

-Are you going to get up?

-I could if I would, but I won't!

-No, that's not right, I mean...

-OK.

Let's see if a little spell in one of our cells is so amusing.

Book him, will you?

I hope it's all level access. Plenty of grab rails.

Dreaming about tonight?

Not exactly, no.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

I'm a bit nervous, to be honest.

Oh!

I know it's just one date, but...

I'm not sure how much I should tell him.

-What do you mean?

-Well, it's at times like this you realise

how much baggage you've got.

For instance, should I tell him about Mac and the affairs

and the fact that I married him twice?

I mean, if we became an item and I'm not saying that for one minute,

but say we did...

Wouldn't it be a bit awkward to just bring this up

further down the line?

I think you should get it all out now. He's a mature bloke,

he'll understand.

You're right.

I mean, it's not like we're a couple of dewy-eyed teenagers, are we?

So what are you wearing?

Yep, the same room I had over the weekend.

Yeah. And breakfast tomorrow.

Thank you. Yeah, I'll see you later. Bye.

Are you staying in a hotel?

Um, yeah, I booked myself into The Grand.

And you've been there ever since?

Well, I just need a few days to...

What sort of state is the house in?

Quite a mess.

And they've damaged stuff, as well?

Afraid so.

Heston, I'm so sorry.

I'm worried that they may have taken some personal stuff.

Why didn't you say?

I keep trying to put it out of my mind.

My father's gold pocket watch.

Steven's baby album.

I daren't go back and look.

It's awful.

You do realise that the only way that you can get through this

is by facing up to it.

You can't give the crook the power to keep you out of your own home.

You're right, of course.

And you don't have to face this on your own.

Leave it to me,

I'm going to assemble a clean-up team by the end of the day.

I'm sure that everyone will be only too happy to help.

Thank you, Cherry.

You just missed me practising my cartwheels!

Oh, Jimmi, do us a favour.

Have a look at this joker, will you, please?

He's pretending he's disabled. Running a scam.

-Sounds pretty low.

-I've put him in there to stew for the afternoon.

Thing is, we need the cell.

Just confirm to me that he's able-bodied, will you?

Yeah, sure.

Sorry. He's genuine, I'm afraid. He's one of my patients.

Spinal cord damage

after radiotherapy treatment for cancer last year.

Used to be a wild child,

he's been in care for the last three years after losing his parents.

This isn't like him.

Right.

-Do you want me to have a word?

-No, no, no. It's OK. I'll do it.

I'm not eating for a week!

Me neither!

It's been good, this afternoon.

Yeah. It's been great spending time with you.

Aw, Will! That's so sweet!

We shouldn't have left him.

But he's always telling us he doesn't need any help,

that he can look after himself.

To be honest, he's been really getting on my nerves lately.

He's so moany and miserable. He's no fun any more.

He's got a lot on his plate, Alice.

And he's been brilliant,

getting his own place and looking after himself.

He's always been way more together than me.

-Chair or no chair.

-You are so loyal.

He doesn't deserve you.

But I definitely do.

What are you doing?!

Seeing if you're a good kisser.

I'm going to go find him.

You can't let me go, I did it!

Look, like I've already said, the lady definitely reported

that the perpetrator stood up out of his chair.

She must have been seeing things!

I raked in about 150 quid!

Mitch, it can't have been you.

You don't think I've got it in me, cos I'm disabled?

That's got nothing to do...

-You wouldn't talk to me like this if I was able-bodied!

-Talk to you like what?

Just calm down, son, have you heard yourself?

Don't patronise me, copper!

At least before you treated me like anybody else! It's discrimination!

Well, you can take your pity and shove it where the sun don't shine!

That's enough!

I know you've had a bad time recently.

But you do not match the description that we've been given,

so I can't have you taking up one of my cells.

I did it!

Is there a carer I can call for you?

No!

-Oh, wow, look at this, impressive!

-Right, here.

-Thank you.

-Your equipment.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

I can't thank you enough.

It is no problem, Dr Carter. Now, is everyone ready?

ALL: Yes.

-Make my day!

-Thanks.

Oh, you look gorgeous!

That dress really suits.

Thank you.

I've got to get off. I promised I'd cook Jack his tea

before he goes out.

Think of me while I'm dipping my bread in my egg, chips and beans!

I'll try not to!

He's got his driver here again!

Thank you.

Julia. You look beautiful.

Oh, thank you. What's with this chauffeur business, then?

Have you got a valet and a chef at home,

or is this just something to cover up a driving ban?

Mikey just helps me out every now and then when I fancy a night out

and a couple of drinks.

-Oh, so you do this often, then?

-No, not often.

In fact, the last woman I took out ended up dating Mikey!

You have any disastrous date stories?

Don't get me started!

Who would you like to hear about first?

The psycho police inspector...

or the camp best friend that turned out to be straight?

Sounds like we're in for a fascinating evening.

-Can you manage?

-Get off me, copper!

Can you manage to get your big, fat carcass back in the car?

Can you manage to go home to your scabby wife and kids

and eat the pigswill she's cooked you for tea?

If you had managed to do your job properly,

you'd realise it was me who cheated those women out of that cash.

All right, that's enough.

Now come here.

I don't want your help!

'Would you mind going ahead?'

Oh, my goodness.

Who would do this?

Right, Nurse Clay, you start in the dining room.

Dr Wilson and Nurse Marquez, the kitchen.

Dr Clay and myself will focus on this room.

I suppose I should've learnt my lesson, but no, I go and marry...

-Whoa, whoa, Julia.

-Sorry.

Look, we're both old enough

to have been round the block a few times, you know. So...

Can we keep the confessional for another time, hmm?

For now, let's just have fun.

Sure!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Mitch, come on, open up.

-I got charged with fraud! I could go to prison!

-I'm sorry!

Please, let us in.

-Just go away!

-We're not leaving.

-I'm ringing your social worker.

-No!

This is yours.

What do you think I am, a charity case?

What do you want?

Mitch...

Man...

This is gross!

So I'm not OCD?

-No, Mitch, this is seriously...

-Shut your trap, Alice.

-Leave it!

-Yeah, Will. What are you, his wife?

-You need to talk to someone.

-When are you going to get it?

-I don't need help!

-At least let me go down the station.

If anyone should be prosecuted, it should be me.

I'm the one who stood up and gave the game away.

That's ridiculous! Can't you see?

This has all turned out the way he wanted!

Did you know he was out shoplifting last week?

Showing off to me about how easy it is

because people think you can do no wrong when you're in a wheelchair.

To be honest, I am sick of hearing what you can

and can't do in that thing.

The novelty's worn off.

You're a bore, Mitch. You're not the same any more.

-You can't talk to him like...

-I don't need you to protect me!

And I'm sick of your pathetic hero worship. Open your eyes!

He treats you like dirt!

-You're dumped.

-Yeah? Not before I dump you.

What do you want? And you can clear off, as well.

She was fine until you got hold of her!

-It wasn't like that, she...

-It's best if you leave, son.

It's OK. You can go.

We've made lots of enquiries.

Everyone else has identified Mitch as the suspect.

-But...

-Just go.

I think we've got some serious talking to do.

There's still loads more to do out here.

Guys, don't you think we should just straighten up in here,

leave the fiddly things till later?

The girl has no idea!

Are you OK?

Yeah. It's just wonderful to have friends who care.

Of course we care.

I'm going to go upstairs. Have a look around.

-Do you want a hand?

-No, I'll be fine.

This place is nice.

-Like it?

-Yeah. I think the decor is fantastic.

Mind you...

This menu reads a little bit like the lyrics from Whiter Shade Of Pale!

I mean, listen to this... "Vintage potatoes in onion ashes

"with flutters of lovage and wilted wood sorrel."

Well, I rather like...

"Vodka-stuffed lentils with twice-fingered artichokes

"on a bed of nails."

-Where does it say...?

-It doesn't.

-Oh, come on!

Burnt spuds and onions for me, I think, lad.

-I think that's the translation, isn't it?

-Take no notice of him!

So, the bottom line is,

you give the money to charity as those good people intended,

and I might be able to let you off with a caution.

Don't do me any favours!

What's the matter with you?

You've been given a second chance and you want to throw it away!

And I'm not just talking about all this...

That's none of your business. Copper!

I think you'll find it is my business.

If, for some bizarre reason,

you want to be labelled as a criminal and not a disabled person.

What is it? You want to play the bad boy,

-because it makes you feel bigger in the chair?

-Shut it!

Yeah, the truth hurts.

Well, try this one for size.

Unless you get this place sorted out,

you're going to end up on the streets,

because I've seen landlords evict people for less.

I'd like to see him try.

Yeah, and you will, my lad.

You will.

Ah...

Your ill-gotten gains.

I think I'll take this and leave you to it.

You've got a good mate there, you know.

-I've got to be honest, onion ashes were delicious.

-Good.

Glad you're enjoying it.

I must say, my tiny sausage with scandalised parsnip

turned out to be more appealing than you might expect.

Thank you for this, Martin.

And thank you very much for stopping me

blabbing all that stuff earlier on.

Well, I suppose there are one or two things I'll need to get off my chest

before we... Well, IF we get more serious.

But for now, let's live for the moment, eh?

Sure.

-Oh, that's beautiful.

-Wow!

'Carol Jennings.'

-Hey, it's Mitch Sutherland.

-'Mitch.'

-Can I see you?

-'Of course.'

-As soon as possible?

-'First thing tomorrow?'

-Thanks.

'Thanks, bye.'

All right?

Tomorrow, eh?

Well, erm... Do you fancy The Sly Dog?

Sounds better than Alice right now.

You know, they've got an incredible guest cider on at the moment.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

It's not as strong as usual, but it's got this really great taste.

Heston, where are you?

-What do you want me to do with...?

-It's all gone.

It's all gone.

All right, Chez.

Did anyone else know that you were out for the evening?

-I love Ellie.

-So why did you sleep with someone else?

Dr Carter! I have your proof.

Rob, you don't understand, I know it was him.

Heston?

-I want to talk to you about Tom.

-Tom?

HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

Immie? Oh, this better be good.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd