Viva Las Letherbridge - Part 2 Doctors

PHONE RINGS

HE GROANS

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Hello? 'Kevin? Howard.'

Where are you?

Er...

'The conference has already started.

'Your friend Bradley is supposed to be stood next to me,'

schmoozing delegates.

HE GASPS

The conference! 'Yes.

'He's got a speech in a matter of hours.'

The delegate breakfast is about to begin.

I've planned my whole day around this man, and he's not even here.

He's missing? He's what?!

He's missing...h-his laptop!

'Yeah, erm, we think, er, it's been stolen.'

We might have to call the police. Do you want me to come to you?

No, no, no! You stay right there.

Everything is under control.

HE SHRIEKS

Morning.

What are you doing here?!

What do you mean? This is MY hotel room.

And I think we're on first-name terms after last night.

Of course, erm...

Heston, are there so many women that you've already forgotten my name?

Absolutely not, erm...

Robyn! Robyn!

You're in town for a conference.

Didn't think I'd get the chance to snare a certain doctor while I was here.

You weren't so shy last night.

Well, I must apologise.

For what? We had some fun, that's all.

I don't normally do this sort of thing... Twice.

I don't remember.

Drinks at the Loft? Dancing? Dancing?!

And then you whisked me away.

Oh, is that the time? We mustn't be late for the conference.

Do you know where my clothes are?

HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS

The natives are getting restless. They want Dr Dash.

Yes, I, er, just spoke to Kevin. They've been delayed.

Well, they're probably hung over. What? What do you know?

Nothing. SHE LAUGHS

But they're lads-about-town, aren't they? Use your imagination.

Right, I'm calling him back.

Heston's with them. I mean, he probably had them in bed by nine.

Yeah. Yes, yes, you're probably right. No need to stress.

Well, there's, er, plenty of things to keep our guests occupied before they get here.

Let's crack on with breakfast, shall we? And, if anyone asks...

He's definitely not hung over.

Joking!

I'm sorry to throw you out.

I'm leading a seminar this afternoon. I really need to prepare.

You're sure I don't have any other clothes?

Just what you're wearing. It's very dashing.

PHONE RINGS Ah, is that my errant mobile?

Oh...

It's just my work.

They never give me a moment's peace.

Well...

I don't really know how this is done, but, erm, it's been lovely.

My pleasure. You're a credit to your uniform, mon capitan.

Au revoir.

KNOCKING AT DOOR

Oh, you too?

Oh, dear.

I've just overheard the manager of the Spark Street surgery.

You don't want to hear what he said. Well, then don't tell me.

He's having a right laugh,

saying we've got no VIPs at our VIP breakfast.

And the "blowhard Bellamy, he'd better deliver or he's finished."

Well, let's see who's laughing at the end of the day.

Too right.

Let's hope it's us.

Stop moving.

Well, I don't think it's infected, but you should keep it in.

Ah, these might fit. Anything my size?

Not unless you're into wearing these.

Why can we not remember what happened last night?!

It's not like we had that much to drink.

I vaguely remember meeting Robyn,

and after that it's a complete blank.

We're in Brad's room, but there's no Brad.

No wallet. No clothes.

All we have is my phone, a £20 note,

and this receipt for the Steel Horse bar.

Oh, we're going to have to retrace our steps. We?! Yeah.

I'm going home for a hot shower.

I want to forget the last 12 hours!

So it's fortunate that I can't remember anything.

You can't just leave me in the lurch with Howard!

So you had a one-night stand. So what?

There's no harm done, and you're single.

Oh, small comfort from the Letherbridge Lothario.

Phone Howard and tell him what happened.

I can't.

What are you going to do? Lie?

Maybe... What have you said?

Told him Brad's with us. And he's fine.

Why did you bring me into your web of lies?! Cos I panicked, OK?!

And you were with us all night, so you lost him, too.

I did no such thing! How do you know? You can't remember!

You wouldn't want anyone to know your dirty little secret, now...?

You wouldn't... I would.

It's self-preservation, for both of us.

So...l-l-let's go to the bar,

let's find Brad, and get to the conference before anyone's the wiser.

Come on, where's your sense of adventure?

In room 219, apparently.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Let me do the talking.

You've got to know how to grease the wheels.

Hi, guys.

Bar's closed. You all right, mate? Looks like you had a rough night.

Have you looked in the mirror?

Yeah... Good one.

No, we're actually looking for a friend of ours.

We got pretty wasted last night and we might have left him here.

I'm not in the mood, boys.

Get out, before a friend has to come and ask where YOU are.

Where are my manners? I'm Kev.

Look, mate, I'm a doctor, so you understand this is really important.

If you could help us out, maybe look at the CCTV,

I would be...really grateful.

Kev, right?

As in Dr Kevin Tyler? Yeah. Have we met?

Oh, no, but you've met my girlfriend, Ellie.

Yes, well, I'm sure he'll be here soon.

Have you tried the complimentary coffee?

I know, it's just not good enough.

I mean, how long are we expected to wait?

Excuse me. Can I have a word, Dr Carmichael?

What do you think you're you doing?

You're supposed to be keeping everybody calm, not winding them up.

It's ridiculous,

waiting round for one man like he's some kind of a rock star.

Everyone's fed up with hanging around. I know I am.

Well, while we're "hanging around," be a bit more positive.

Use some of that legendary charm.

Oh, so I'm just here as a good-time girl, am I?

Shall I just hoist my skirt up? Go home and get my pom-poms?

You could dance the tarantella naked for all I care, just please help me!

GLASS SMASHES

You hooked up with my old lady. I should break your kneecaps!

I don't remember last night! Don't give me that!

Ellie's talked about you before. People saw you all over each other.

Under my own roof! Sir, it is against our code of practice to liaise with patients.

There must be some mistake.

Then how come I found his wallet in the back? Really? Kevin!

You trashed my bar! It got so bad the cops came round.

You should apologise. Sorry! Screw your apologies!

You think some poncey GP is going to take my bird?

I'm going to reach inside and rip out that lying tongue!

Maybe we could talk about this? You talk...

He screams. No, wait, wait, wait!

Let me speak to Ellie, we can clear all this up.

I'm done with that old skank, and I'm done with you.

The only reason we're still talking is cos I want my jacket back.

What jacket?! We're just trying to find our mate.

Help me out, you do both.

You've seen Bradley? That depends. On what?

On you giving back the jacket that you stole.

It's bad enough you took my bird, but you never touch a biker's patch.

Bring it back,

and maybe I'll tell you where your missing friend is.

And MAYBE I don't break your legs. Get out!

MOTORBIKE REVS

Well, that went well. You really greased the wheels(!)

Hey, check this out. It's a flyer for the Scarlet Eagles.

"Buy General Heston a round."

There's an address on it. It's worth a try. No, enough of your adventures.

It's one thing tracking down a friend, but paying a ransom?

I'm phoning the police.

No, we can't, because what if we actually did steal that jacket?

That means we're the bad guys. So if we phone the police,

we risk Rob finding out and it's Chinese whispers all the way back to the Mill.

This is more than our reputation. Bradley's life is at stake.

All the more reason to go find him! Is this just an excuse

so Howard doesn't find out about your sordid house calls?

I didn't do it!

And Brad will know the truth.

HESTON SIGHS

I'm asking you as a friend.

If there's any trouble...

..I'm going straight to Howard.

BUGLE SOUNDS MEN: Hurrah!

What is this place?

Hey, look, look! The jacket!

I knew you'd return.

Have you come to bring my Gwendolyn back to me?

Gwendolyn now, is it?

You literally can't keep your trousers on, can you?

I'm talking to you! Me?

You don't remember the tavern last eve?

I was bewitched by mead,

and you challenged me, Titan,

emperor of the Letherbridge Chapter, to combat.

And now here you stand, wearing Gwendolyn,

hat of champions! Oh, please(!)

Just give us the jacket, you can have your stupid hat back.

It's not a gift to be given, it's a prize to be won!

Fight me...

if you dare.

Oh, I have a patient who's into this.

It's a turn-based strategy game. They take it very seriously.

I've had four missed calls from Howard.

I'm not wasting time placating some guy's Napoleon complex.

If I win, I reclaim Gwendolyn.

You prevail, you get the jacket and these tawdry rags.

Are those my clothes?! Er, if you can call them that.

We're not sinking to your level... I accept! Heston!

I can't walk around looking like this all day.

I will take that hat from your battered brow, old fool.

Well, I will have you know,

I was undefeated Risk champion at boarding school.

Just so we're clear, you're playing with toy soldiers? Yeah.

Let battle commence! Hurrah!

There you go. Bradley's number.

Well, apparently Saint Bradley's off healing the sick.

What do they take me for?

You don't think they're in some seedy strip club, do you?

No, Heston wouldn't do that.

You winding me up? Who knows what goes on beneath the bow tie.

Right, that's it. We're not going down without a fight.

Get over to Bradley's hotel, find out what's keeping him so long.

I'll miss lunch! They've got mini Kievs.

All right, I'm going.

HE SIGHS

PHONE RINGS

Nothing can stop my Skellog horde!

PHONE RINGS Fear my scantily-clad, obscenely-proportioned elves.

Yeah, Howard, no, literally, we were about to leave but then, erm, the receptionist, she collapsed!

And Brad, he won't leave her until he knows that she's OK.

That's the kind of guy he is. But everything's under control...

HESTON GROANS

Your mother was a concubine of Athos!

Well, your mother wishes you'd get out more.

Yeah, well, I've got to go. OK, bye.

Are we good? We're going to lose.

I thought you were good at this sort of thing?!

And you believed me. We all make mistakes.

Hurrah! Serpent's sixes!

One more roll and it's over, old man.

Time out, time out! Team meeting.

I don't know what I'm doing. You won last night!

I did a lot of things last night I didn't think I was capable of.

Well, we're not leaving without the leather jacket.

We're bringing a new piece to the table, and he's called Pyromaniac!

And him and Gwen are going on a hot date.

You wouldn't. He would. We're on a crime spree! I'll do it!

All right, all right, you win! Just... Just don't hurt Gwen.

Give them the clothes.

Back off! Back off!

THEY SIGH WITH RELIEF

All right, gents. You brought me a present?

We've got the jacket.

Hand it over. No.

The jacket for our mate. That was the deal.

You got stones, I'll give you that.

Bring out our guest!

Bradley? Don't worry, mate, we'll get you home safe.

What have you done to him? HE YELLS

Not so nice being cheated, is it?

You took my bird. Now I'm going to take that pretty little face.

Can't we just talk about this?

Ah, it's going to be a one-sided conversation. Police!

Everyone stay where they are, this is a drugs raid!

What are you two doing here?!

Mr Romano, I have a warrant to search these premises

for illegal substances. Bite me, pig!

We've been watching you for a while, Ray.

We just needed you to handle the drugs personally.

Sorry, am I missing something? What drugs?

Is that what I think it is?

That is top grade wacky baccy.

And you two...have just delivered it to them.

Zara.

The, eh, head surgeon at St Phil's is about to storm out.

If he goes, everyone else will follow.

What do you want me to do about it?

You could do a talk, on postnatal care or something.

This is a surgical conference,

they don't want to hear about breast-feeding.

You'll think of something. Just get up on stage! I haven't prepared anything!

You don't need to. You'll have them wrapped around your fingers.

No. I'm nobody's warm-up act.

SHE SNIFFS

There's nobody else that can do it like you could.

Do I have to beg?

Fine. But you owe me big.

Thanks, Kevin(!)

Em, sorry to bother you. You haven't seen the people from this room, have you?

Erm, no.

I'm not a mad stalker. I work with them and they're running late.

I saw them leave this morning, but that's it. Sorry.

OK. Thanks.

LIFT DINGS

Do you two know how much trouble you've caused me?

Getting involved with drug dealers...

Who do you think you are? Pablo and bleedin' Escobar?

All we did was pick up a jacket... Yeah, a jacket stuffed with marijuana!

I want you to know how sorry Kevin is. What?!

If you hadn't sown your wild oats in a drug dealer's field,

we wouldn't be here. I'm not the one who woke up with

a complete stranger, Romeo. Enough!

I've had a word with the gaffer, and I've made it clear to him

that you're both far too stupid to be criminal masterminds.

BUT - you'll both be eyewitnesses when Romano goes to trial, OK?

No questions. Thank you.

You're a gentleman and a scholar.

Yeah, I am, and I might have a lead on your missing mate.

You've found Bradley?

DOOR CREAKS LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

You're sure? Yeah, I'm sure. Bradley Dash? Even as an outpatient?

Nothing under that name at all. I thought we had him.

We should be positive. It's a good thing he's not here.

Hang on. That's Ellie.

Cuts and bruises to her face and chest...

puncture wound in her left thigh, causing severe blood loss.

Shards of glass in the wound.

She was bottled.

It's not your fault. Yeah, we don't know that.

I'll talk to a nurse, find out more.

If your boyfriend did this, I'll make sure he goes away for life.

Nice guy, by the way(!)

Someone to take home to Mum and Dad.

You know what? I can't talk.

I should've shut it down when you asked me out.

But I liked that you liked me.

Big man.

Take some advice from your doctor...

stay away from bad boys.

Is that Zara in there?

She's been talking now for 45 minutes, no prep.

She's good, I'll give her that.

So, what did you find out? Any news?

The room was empty and the staff haven't seen him since this morning.

Where the hell are they?

We should go. There's nothing we can do.

She's my patient. I'm staying.

We still have time before Howard... Tell Howard I messed up.

I deserve whatever I get.

You were right, I only think of myself.

If that were true, you wouldn't be here.

Give me your phone and I'll talk to Howard.

HE SIGHS

Kevin?

Hey. How you feeling?

Rough. Try not to move. I'll get a nurse...

No, I'm OK. I'm glad you're here.

About last night...

I'm so sorry. That shouldn't have happened.

I was totally wasted - not that that's an excuse, but...

Why are you apologising?

You saved my life.

Sorry?

Last night. I got glassed. I was bleeding everywhere.

You used your trousers to stop the blood flow.

The paramedics said I'd have died if you hadn't been there.

So, we didn't actually...

Well, you know?

Dr Tyler! What kind of girl do you take me for?

No, I didn't mean that.

I'm kidding. You were the perfect gentleman.

You've no idea how happy that makes me.

You know, guys usually say that when I DO sleep with them.

You're an odd one.

SHE SIGHS AND HE LAUGHS

Glad to see you're awake. Mr Bellamy is not happy.

Let's try Bradley again. What number is he under?

Starsky. Starsky?!

Those were our nicknames at uni - Starsky and Hutch.

PHONE RINGS

I think I know where he is.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Heston. Robyn. May we come in?

Now's not a good time. Well, I think I left something in your room.

I've just got out the shower. Come back later?

Do you remember this morning, when the phone was ringing,

and the caller ID said "Hutch"?

So what? Well, Starsky...

PHONE RINGS ..meet Hutch.

How dare you burst in! I'll call the police!

RINGING CONTINUES What the...?

Oh, my goodness. BRADLEY MUMBLES

PHONE CAMERA CLICKS

I'm cursed. Cursed!

Why would I trust a man who thinks punctuality is a perfume?

APPLAUSE

I've been talking for over an hour, so unless you want me

to describe last night's dinner, you need to find another stooge.

Right!

Did you just lock that door?!

No. The door's stuck. You'll have to find the caretaker.

Slowly.

You've gone mad.

Mate, get her away from me! She's insane!

I knew I should've dumped his phone. I demand to know what's going on!

I'm giving dear Dr Dash a lesson in love.

She's holding me hostage, H! What lesson?

I've admired that man for years.

We got talking at a seminar in Bali,

and spent one wonderful night together.

But the next morning, he was gone.

So what's this, a second date?

I loved him, and he used me.

I'm not some trollop to be discarded!

And thanks to you, my dear, sweet Heston,

he's learnt a lesson he'll never forget.

What do you mean? You're an animal, I can't even look at you.

Please tell me that we were alone last night.

So while you two were...you were...? Ohhh!

Dr Dash, I'm mortified.

Guys, what're we waiting for? Call the police!

You don't want to do that, darling. Why?

Details will come out that could ruin that "Alpha Doc" reputation.

Oh, yeah, listen to her, the crazy woman(!)

I'm not the one who doped up my friend with mind-altering pills.

Is that why we can't remember anything?! That's not exactly the issue here!

People ain't going to believe you, sweetheart. I've got pictures.

Pictures? Ones I'll always treasure.

OK...

HUSHED VOICES: Maybe we've been a bit hasty.

Maybe we should chalk this up to bad decisions.

Yeah, that YOU made. Harmless fun that should never get out.

Never. Ever. Fine. Get yourself cleaned up.

We can still make it if we rush.

What? I'm not doing a talk after this, I'm covered in chocolate mousse!

Mate, don't you think you owe us one?

And like the lady said, these things have a habit of getting out...

BANGING AND SHOUTING

Howard, you have got to let them out. It's over.

All right, I'll go and tell them. I'll tell them it's cancelled.

Wait! Look!

MUSIC: "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins

RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES

Sorry I'm late. Got tied up.

Well, you're here now, that's all that matters.

Karen, go and give them the good news.

Oh, and apologise for the door.

Aye, aye, sir. Nice earring.

I promise you this crowd won't be sorry they waited.

Oh, and, Howard, these guys? Fantastic.

I literally wouldn't be here without them. Right, let's get this show...

Oh, hello.

Heston, can you smell chocolate mousse?

Yes, I think I can. All right, I'm going!

H, I can honestly say you're the craziest son of a gun

I've ever partied with.

Letherbridge could actually teach London a thing or two.

Hutch...as always, bro.

(I am lion. Hear me roar.)

Well, only six hours late(!) Howard, I can explain...

Oh, you will. This isn't over with, believe me.

But right now, I've got a speech to attend to.

So now it's your turn to wait and worry for a while.

THEY SIGH

My back is killing me.

I could sleep for a week.

I owe you an apology.

You saved that woman's life while I was gallivanting around.

Well done to you.

Well, the only thing you've ever asked of us

is that we do right by our patients.

Thanks for that, H.

How did you get that earring in the end? No idea.

Still hurting?

Tell you the truth, that one's not the problem.

You've got another one? Yeah, and it's really causing some grief.

Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone what happened. Ever.

Agreed. What happens in Letherbridge, stays in Letherbridge.

MUSIC: "Viva Las Vegas" by Elvis

I've been slaving over a hot laptop.

My finger hurts when I type.

How serious do you think this is? Sorry, I can't discuss that.

She's had quite a few notes from your practice.

Do not forget your appointment with Dr Carter.

I'm hardly going to forget, am I?

You think I'm a stripper?! Well, are you?

What business is it of ours?

I'm going to book you in for an ultrasound. I'm sure it'll be fine.

But it may take a week before you get a scan.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd