The Way, the Truth and the Lie Doctors

-You're early.

-I was wondering if I could talk to you about a patient.

-Yeah, fine.

-Thank you, I appreciate it.

There is no excuse. You've had more than a month to organise this

and, as far as I can see, you've done practically nothing!

Don't bother. You're fired!

And I won't be recommending you to any of my friends!

-I've sacked her.

-Of course you have.

I couldn't see the point of having a kids' party planner for a kids' party.

It's a waste of money - I can do it all myself.

How will you do that? We're working all morning.

-Anybody half-competent could do it in an hour.

-An hour?

Half an hour!

Oh! London Fashion Week!

Paris, Milan, New York - I'll go to them all

when I'm a high-flying magazine editor.

Have you heard anything yet?

-No.

-Well, at least they haven't turned you down.

I'm sure you're the kind of person they would all want -

mature, experienced.

Not some spotty teenager.

Karen, what are you doing?

Data entry for Howard.

For goodness' sake, sit up properly.

You'll do your back in sitting like that.

Right, who's next?

Oh. You're not seeing patients, you're just on paperwork.

-Why?

-Howard asked me to...

Oh, flapjack? I've been doing some baking.

You helped a 14-year-old girl get an abortion?

She decided that was what she wanted.

Fliss is a mature and very intelligent young woman.

She was adamant she did not want her mother to know.

I had no choice.

Well, her mum doesn't seem to see it that way.

Mrs Henning was very upset when she found out.

That's why she's making the complaint.

But I've been entirely professional, Howard.

Well, thanks for the heads up.

Anything else you need to tell me?

No. That's everything.

Yes, I appreciate that I should have booked it weeks ago, but...

Do you know the numbers for any other ice sculptors in the area?

Well, thanks a million. Goodbye.

-Why do you need an ice sculptor?

-It's Joe's birthday.

He went to a party where they had ice sculptures of all the characters

in the Ice Age movies, and he thought they were wonderful.

Is that what they do these days?

When Chris was that age,

it was just ice cream, birthday cake, Pass The Parcel.

Sam used to read them stories.

That's not enough these days.

The parents we know are doing the most incredible things -

hot-air balloons, Shetland ponies.

We've got to do something really special.

I need Joe's second birthday to be the...

-Have you been crying?

-No, I was just having a moment.

-I didn't realise.

-It's just that it hits me sometimes.

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Last year, Sam did everything -

wine, dinner, rose petals.

We had a lovely evening.

That's really good that you were able to make some happy memories.

And then he said he wanted to go to Switzerland...

and kill himself.

Ha!

Look...

..if you ever need someone to talk to...

..I know the number of a really good therapist.

I...don't need therapy, Zara.

Yes, right, well, I have paperwork. Must get on!

Of course.

Flapjack?

Generally people just call me Al.

Would you like a flapjack? Go on, treat yourself.

Has a lady called Grace Henning phoned in today?

Can you let me know if she does...or if she drops in?

Hello, how can we help you?

Is Dr Emma Reid in?

She's not seeing patients today.

Oh, I'm not a patient. I'm a friend, we were at university together.

Oh, how lovely! I'll let her know you're here.

-I've found a balloon modeller!

-Hallelujah(!)

And Helen The Useless Party Planner had actually booked a clown.

So all I have to do is phone to confirm with him.

As soon as we've finished, we can rush to the supermarket and pick up everything.

I'll do the food, you can do the goody bags.

I told you I could do it.

I'm lost in admiration. Would you...

like a coffee?

-Here we are.

-It's so great to see you again.

And you. I meant to get in touch before.

-How long has it been?

-Two, three years?

I was so sorry to hear about Sam.

Yes, well...I'm coping.

Anyway, how's Paul?

-We split up last year.

-I'm sorry.

No. I'm well rid. God, I'm so stupid!

You sussed him out straightaway. You knew he was just a parasite.

-Well, I never said that.

-You didn't have to!

He cleaned out our joint bank account, did a runner.

I don't even know what country he's in now.

He's left me his debts.

I've had bailiffs round and everything.

Well, it looks like we've both had a pretty horrible year.

2014 has got to be better.

-I've found something that's really helping.

-Gin?

No! It's more therapeutic.

Please don't tell me it's chakra healing.

It's kind of personal development.

You look at your life objectively -

the choices you've made, and how to make better ones.

Zoe, have you found religion?

-Can you imagine me going to church?

-Well...

I'll show you.

It starts with a kind of personality test -

a questionnaire.

Sorry. It's probably not your kind of thing.

No! No, come on, let me see.

-Still haven't heard from that dance studio job.

-Oh, shame.

It was going to be great, as well.

Cos it's working with dancers and choreographers, it'd be like Fame!

And I can dance, I've got natural rhythm.

Oh, I haven't! I used to do ballet when I was little,

but I was never any good at it. You know me, two left feet.

I did have a lovely little tutu, though.

Come on! Everybody can dance!

Ah! Oh!

-Have you done yourself a mischief?

-Ow! Ow, ow, ow, that hurts.

Shall I get a doctor? Or, or I could do some first aid.

No, no, no, no, I think I'm all right.

Well, go on, then.

Does it say I'm a serial killer?

Zoe?

I don't want you to worry.

What does it say?

Obviously, you're grieving and under a lot of stress, but...

according to this...

..you're barely holding it together.

If you don't talk to someone,

you're going to head for a nervous breakdown.

It's not just about Sam -

there's lots of things that you're not dealing with,

and you need to resolve them.

I'm just not sleeping, that's all.

Have you talked to anyone?

No.

I spent the whole of last year falling apart -

talking to people, crying all over them.

They're probably sick of it. I know I am.

Well, there's this group I go to, it might help.

I'm going this lunch time, actually.

It's not for everyone, you'd probably hate it.

Did it help you?

Yeah, I wasn't sleeping.

I was at my wits' end.

It literally saved my life.

Where's it happening?

Really? What, you really want to come along?

Well, you know me, I'll try anything once.

You said that when we had the Sambuca evening at uni!

-Ankylosing spondylitis.

-What about it?

-Karen's got it.

-Says who?

I looked it up on the internet.

I've got all the symptoms - tiredness, back pain, buttock pain.

You're going to have to examine her and confirm the diagnosis!

I haven't got a free slot this afternoon, and you know what Howard's like.

-Can you fit her in before?

-Kevin! It's an emergency!

-Go to A&E.

-This ankylosing... Whatever it is, is very serious.

Oh, for goodness'... OK, can I at least have my lunch first?

Thanks, Kevin.

We'll get you sorted in no time.

Ankylosing spon... Spondy...

-Hello, Chris.

-Hello, mate. Karen, what's up with you?

-Oh, I've got a chronic illness.

-She's fine.

Craig the Clown has cancelled! He's had an accident.

-He's tripped over his enormous feet.

-Someone tipped a bucket of water over him!

Walked into a ladder maybe?

-This is not funny!

-Come on. I'll make you a coffee.

We haven't got time for coffee. We've got to go to the supermarket.

The party is in two hours!

I can entertain the kids for a while.

I can sing them Making Your Mind Up...with actions!

-You taught me that.

-Did I?

Yeah, when Joe was little.

-You used to sing it to Immie and Jack when they were little.

-I don't remember.

You need to meet me in the car park in seven and a half minutes.

It's a special day.

Ow.

Come and meet Juliet.

Juliet, this is the lady I told you about - Dr Emma Reid.

Hello, I'm sorry to gatecrash.

No, you're not. Everyone's welcome.

Let me guess - we're not quite what you expected.

Well, I will admit I was expecting a church hall,

and some sad self-help group.

Well we are a self-help group,

but there's nothing wrong with that if you need help.

Right, everyone, let's get into pairs and do some reflections.

Emma, you're wondering what on earth that means.

-Don't worry, as it's your first time, I can talk to you, OK?

-OK.

So we're going to go to that supermarket cos it's closer.

The car will be easier to park. Trust me.

-What?! You are kidding me.

-Oh, babe.

It's gone everywhere! Now, I'm going to have to wash my hair.

-I haven't even have time for that!

-Everything is going to fine.

I just wanted the perfect party,

and now we haven't even got a clown!

-Why are we doing this?

-For Joe!

Joe's two. He doesn't need ice sculptures

or clowns or balloon modellers.

Let's just get him a cat-shaped birthday cake,

and let him blow out the candles - he'll be thrilled.

All that other stuff, it doesn't matter.

OK. You're right.

Say that again.

You're right. But it doesn't give you licence to be smug.

Yes, it does.

We swore that we wouldn't turn into pushy middle-class parents

competing with other pushy middle-class parents,

and now...we have.

I have.

I used to laugh at people like that.

Look, we'll give the kids fizzy drinks and crisps and chocolate.

Then we'll let them run around screaming,

getting all over-excited,

but when one of them starts crying or start hitting each other

we'll give them a piece of cake and we'll send them home.

That's a great birthday.

And just so you know -

somewhere in the world, that's considered good luck.

It's not just that I'm grieving for Sam.

I look at my whole life, and it's a mess.

The choices I've made...

But you can change those choices.

You don't have to repeat the same mistakes.

This weekend course...

Know Yourself. It's more of a retreat.

We're all busy professionals.

We all need time and space to get away from daily concerns,

to look at ourselves.

What happens? What do you do?

Whatever's most useful. There's counselling, group sessions...

but it's really what you make it.

Are you allowed to have a nervous breakdown?

According to your personality test, I'm heading for one.

Can I ask you something?

Who looks after you?

My colleagues are very supportive...

That's not what I'm asking.

Emma, you spend your life helping other people.

Who helps you? Who supports you?

When you've had a lousy day at work, who do you off-load to?

I used to talk to Sam, but...

..since he's died, I...

I can tell you exactly what it is.

-It's epidemic, and it's sweeping the country.

-What is it?!

It's called Sitting Hunched Over Your Computer Syndrome.

It's a serious problem, especially for geeks and gamers.

-Is that it?

-Yeah, you're not dying. You don't have anything chronic.

Apart from maybe hypochondria, but you've always had that.

It's not just back pain. I've got other symptoms.

-Like what?

-I'm knackered half the time.

The other night I was watching Family Guy,

and I fell asleep. It was only at 1030.

And the ball of my left foot...really aches.

And my thumb hurts.

-It's called middle age.

-But I'm not...

Well, you haven't got ankylosing spondylitis.

It's good news.

We're very practical.

It's about helping you to be the best you possibly can be -

to achieve your potential, to heal yourself.

Well, I...I do need healing.

We all do...in different ways.

Once you've been through Know Yourself, you can

move on to all the other courses. You map out your own development.

The next course is in April.

It's £1,500 plus VAT. I know that may seem expensive...

But it might be worth it.

Here you are.

Talk to Zoe as well.

She's done the course, it changed her life...

Thank you.

Zoe. You looking for something?

It's just some papers. Nothing important.

Oh, thank goodness. You found it!

"After the client has completed the, quote, 'personality test'

"read it and then look worried.

"Then tell them that they're mentally ill. Include the following.

"'You're heading for a nervous breakdown, there are issues

"'in your life that you're not facing that you need to resolve.'"

I didn't mean to...

Whatever I put on that questionnaire,

you would have told me I was having a nervous breakdown.

This is a prepared speech.

A crib sheet!

To think I nearly fell for it!

I know I'm having a tough time but...

You timed it.

You showed up when you knew I would be at my most vulnerable.

The personality test is just a means to an end.

If it gets you involved in something that saves your life

and your sanity, surely it's worth it.

So you lied to me for my own good?

Well, yes. You really do need help...

You manipulated me.

I have to recruit 20 people by the 1st May.

Or what? What will they do? Throw you in a dungeon?

It's the only way I can afford the courses.

If you want to progress within the movement,

be a Group Leader like Juliet,

you've got to do it all. It takes years...

Oh, I see(!)

You're on commission.

You recruit me and you get paid.

No. Credits towards the courses.

I need to do this, Em.

I need to sort my life out.

Don't you even worry about the tactics that they use?

Telling people that they are mentally ill when they're not?

I tried to explain that to you.

I thought you'd understand...

Emma, where are you going?

I'm going to tell Juliet that she can shove her Know Yourself course.

-She's my daughter...

-As I've explained, Mrs Henning...

She gets pregnant, gets talked into having an abortion

and I can't even be told about it?

Patient confidentiality is sacrosanct. The law says...

I know about the law, I know about Gillick competency,

I know about Fraser rules.

I've been reading up, so please don't patronise me.

Then you would understand, Dr Haskey did not have a choice.

He had to respect the wishes of Felicity

which he did at the time...

But it's not what she wanted. She's in pieces.

She wishes she hadn't got rid of the baby.

She's going to regret it for the rest of her life

and I have to deal with that.

I have to pick up the pieces...

Well, I'm sorry.

I don't see what else Dr Haskey could've done.

Really? Well, let me explain.

I'm going to make a formal complaint

because I know Fliss wasn't mature enough to make that decision alone.

Dr Haskey pressured her into it.

Is this how you recruit people?

Telling them they're having a nervous breakdown?

I'm sure it works, too.

There are just enough vulnerable people out there.

What kind of enlightenment starts with lying to people?

Emma, you've admitted yourself that you're deeply troubled.

And no-one's forcing you to sign up to anything...

No, they're just messing with my head until I do.

What's it about, Juliet? Money?

Cos foot soldiers like Zoe here never get any.

Not even you.

But you can guarantee that somebody at the top is making a fortune.

And it's all perfectly legal.

Getting messed-up people to pay for your courses, to work for nothing...

If you continue to behave like this,

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

I'm going all right. Anyone else?

You must see what's going on. You're being lied to.

Conned.

Zoe?

Zoe, your boyfriend lied to you and swindled you.

You must see that it's not right to do it to other people?

I'm sorry, Em.

Em, wait!

Did you know Dr Haskey took Fliss to the clinic for the procedure?

He also took her to the previous consultation, paid for taxis,

and managed to get the abortion moved to two weeks earlier...

I wasn't aware of that.

Respecting a patient's wishes is one thing,

but Dr Haskey clearly had an agenda.

He wanted her to get rid of the baby...

For her own good, of course(!)

..and he made sure she did it as quickly as possible.

Well, that does put a different complexion on things.

So, what are you going to do?

Any joy?

Yes! Oh! They've replied...

Oh.

No... The women's magazine wants a graduate...

Bet the dance studio wants somebody younger.

More fool them.

I have applied for lots of other things and I haven't heard back.

Yeah, of course you have.

And at least you haven't got Spondulosing Thingmybob.

I'll be in touch, Mrs Henning.

Mr Davidson?

Could you let me know when Dr Haskey is free.

Will do.

What are you going to do?

I should get back to work.

I mean about...?

Oh. I don't know.

Find some way to cope.

What about you?

PHONE RINGS

Juliet?

When I joined, they were so supportive. Like a family.

Juliet was like a big sister.

I could talk to her about anything.

I know it's right to leave, but they're all I have.

No. Zoe, that's not true.

You have you.

You're 40 now.

Grow up. Start taking responsibility.

Stop relying on other people to make all the decisions for you.

I can't help you. I'm no guru.

And I'm certainly not the sisterly type.

What am I going to do?

Do you remember when you decided medicine wasn't for you

and you switched to anthropology?

-Yeah, that's another thing I got wrong.

-No.

You made a big life decision on your own.

All right, it didn't work out. So what?

Move on until something does.

PHONE RINGS

They're not going to leave you alone, are they?

They'll phone and phone and text for a while...

but I'm broke. There's nothing in it for them.

How bad are your debts? Do you even know?

£20,000.

Most of that's from Paul, but now he's gone,

I'm responsible...

Then you need to see a debt counsellor.

Talk it through, find a way to pay it back.

What, and Paul gets off scot-free?

Not fair, is it? Life isn't.

Come on, your turn. A bit closer.

One, two, three...

Yay! Hurrah! Again?

All right. Only because you're enjoying it so much.

Now...

Ready?

You blowing them out again?

Yeah, he is.

One, two, three...

Again?

All right.

I don't believe in knights in shining armour.

No-one's going to come round the corner and rescue you.

-You did.

-No. No, I didn't.

You decided to leave the room.

Juliet started having a go at me.

Very concerned and caring, you know...

but she was saying how I'd failed the movement,

and myself, and I just thought, "Screw you."

THEY LAUGH

Oh, Zoe, you don't need anyone to rescue you.

I may be broke and single, but at least I'm free.

THEY LAUGH

How can you be so naive?

Ferrying a young girl around to abortion clinics, giving her money...

I know it must look dodgy...

It is dodgy!

You're lucky you're not being suspended.

For what? I was doing my job.

Trying to care for my patient...

What, by bringing forward an abortion?

If I hadn't done, she'd have had to wait another two weeks.

And the procedure would have been more complicated and more traumatic.

I was concerned for the welfare of my patient.

I've done nothing wrong!

You should have told me about this before?

I didn't think you need to know every single detail.

I need to know every single detail, because I'm your manager.

Yeah, but you're not a medical professional, Howard.

You don't understand the nuances of a doctor-patient relationship.

No? Well, now is the perfect opportunity for you to explain it.

You didn't cross the line but you walked perilously close to it.

The partners are going to have to conduct an internal review

and assess all the decisions you've made.

I've done wrong so I have to fill out a form.

Oh, the joys of your bureaucracy(!)

You're going to do this, and you're going to take it seriously.

This is not your own personal kingdom to do whatever

the hell you like!

You need to wise up!

Love birds of the universe unite.

We who do Valentines Day properly.

Don't tell him, but I have booked a surprise.

For Jimmi? Are you sure?

Maybe facial. Steam skin, make very clean.

We have a unique trust and understanding of each other.

A match made in heaven.

She's just tried to stick a tube up my... Anyway, I'm going,

-so do what you want.

-Jimmi, wait!