The Grapevine Doctors

We are pleased to inform you that you have been

shortlisted for the Young GP of the Year...

-Hey!

-Important?

-Very. Give it back.

-Is it personal?

-Yes!

Actually, you can read it if you like.

Where's the fun in that.

Oh, Mrs Tembe!

I am so sorry.

It was my fault.

No, it was mine, I really must apologise.

Mrs Tembe, it's fine.

Mandy?

She does not understand, Dr Tyler. It is not fine.

No, I can't!

It came in the post this morning.

It's not really a surprise, I suppose. Still.

-She knows something.

-About what?

Mrs Tembe, but she's not telling what.

As we're all here, I've got some interesting news...

-Kevin!

-What?

I'm sure Mrs Tembe's news is much more interesting.

Good morning.

-Morning!

-Morning.

Honestly, I can't.

My news isn't a secret.

Well...

Mrs Hollins. These are my friends and my colleagues.

I haven't said a word...

-She hasn't.

-Not yet.

They deserve to know the truth. But I am too ashamed.

So, please!

Permission to gossip!

If you do not mind.

I'll do my best.

So, who wants to hear my news?

-Kevin!

-OK! Fine!

Well, where to start?

Sorry, Guys! Traffic.

No worries. Do you want a coffee?

Don't you want to get started?

She's not here.

We had a nine-thirty - the Stevens case?

-The Detective Inspector is not in the building.

-Where is she?

I love a cancelled meeting. Especially with O'Neil.

-Has she called in?

-No.

That's not like her, is it?

Don't knock it. You want a coffee or what?

All right, what's in the letter?

Oh, it's nothing really.

OK.

Well, I say "nothing"...

I've been nominated.

Nominated?

Yeah, shortlisted. Young GP of the Year.

It's just a local thing...

Still. Young GP of the Year!

Shortlisted. Nothing definite yet.

Oh, right. I'll keep it under my hat, then.

It's OK, really.

It's not a secret - you can tell people if you want to!

Friends. Colleagues.

Letherbridgians...may I introduce to you

Letherbridge's Young GP of the Year - Dr Kevin Tyler!

Oh, well done!

Really?

No way!

He's shortlisted.

I don't see why I shouldn't win.

Absolutely.

Go get 'em, mate!

Like I always tell people - it's not just about facts and knowledge.

Being a good GP is about empathy and understanding people.

And teamwork.

This award isn't just about me.

We've got a good team behind us. On the whole.

And that's what I'll say in my acceptance speech.

When you win.

IF I win. Let's not get carried away.

Who does the nominations?!

The partners, I think.

And they chose Kevin! What's he got that I haven't?!

Empathy. Apparently.

Mrs Tembe, what are you doing?!

Does everybody know?

Will you get up off the floor, please!

Have you told everyone?

Jimmi's at the Station.

Howard and Heston have got caught up in meetings.

And I haven't spoken to Kevin or Al,

but everyone else was very understanding.

Understanding?!

Yes.

Understanding of my un-Christian intolerance? My rank homophobia?

What about the partners, Dr Granger and Dr Carmichael?

They must have been disgusted by my behaviour?

Not really.

Then I will spend the morning making them understand. And Nurse Marquez.

How I will face her, I do not know.

PHONE RINGS

(ANSWERING MACHINE) 'Hello, this is Sonia O'Neil - leave a message.'

'Hi, it's Dr Clay... Just thought I'd call.

'We had a meeting this morning, and you didn't...

'So, I just thought I'd call and check you were OK,

'you know, after last week and everything,

'so, just give me a call back, OK? Bye."

I'm not disagreeing! How can I disagree with

-the Great Daniel Granger, the man who can do no wrong(?)

-So, I'm right?

-Yes you're right, you're always right!

-Thank you. Mrs Tembe.

Dr Granger. Dr Carmichael.

I understand that you have been made aware of the circumstances

surrounding the break-up of my marriage

and the calculated deception that I have imposed upon you.

We all have our secrets, Mrs Tembe.

Yes, but mine were particularly unpleasant.

And a long time ago.

I deserve to be ostracised.

Mrs Tembe, you did something stupid. You're sorry.

Won't happen again. I've been there. Done that.

Again and again and again...

You're a good receptionist. We need you.

-Dr Carmichael...

-Whatever he says, because he's always right.

-But...

No buts. Butt out.

-Because we're busy.

-Now, where were we?

-The Great Daniel Granger!

Yes, him. The man who's always right.

Yes, he is, what is it this time?

Aaaagh!

It's a little bit pink...

We've not seen you here before, have we, Mrs...Hancock?

My husband wasn't happy with our old GP.

Oh, dear. We'll try to do better here at the Mill.

I'm sure you will. You seem very...

-competent.

-Thank you.

My husband doesn't approve of young doctors.

But I say to him, "Old doctors were young doctors once."

Funny you should mention "young doctors", because I...

The thing is, they just can't seem to spare the time.

It's sit down, where does it hurt,

have a prescription, and you're out in less than a minute!

I'm not like that.

No. You're very...

Empathetic?

Yes, for one so young.

Like I say to my colleagues,

"The most important thing a GP can do is listen."

I suppose that's why I've been nominated for Young GP...

The thing is, my throat's more of a tickle than a cough,

if you know what I mean?

My husband had it more than a month, but it was definitely a cough

with him, a real rasper - no phlegm at all.

Actually, I'm wrong, it was a hacking cough, not a rasper,

but with me, my great uncle on my mother's side, that's my mother's

mother's brother, he smoked all his life, apparently, so you just can't tell, can you?

No. So, what I'm going...

The thing is, he might have died of lung cancer.

I'm sorry, you have a family history of lung cancer?

I don't think so. Do I?

You just said. Your great uncle?

I said he might have died of lung cancer.

"Might have?"

If he'd lived long enough.

He was shot down over Germany in 1944. Terrible smoker.

Apparently. The thing is...

Yeah, the thing is, Anna,

we've been round the houses on this one,

and you've just got a sore throat.

I can hardly talk.

So, the best cure is time and...silence.

So why don't we say as little as possible and we'll see how you go?

But...

Shush, shush, shush! Silence really is the best medicine.

Come back after a week if there's no change.

You are very young, aren't you?

He is. He's a very young GP.

A veritable whippersnapper.

-I'm 30!

-Oh!

Why, what's wrong with that?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Empathy isn't always the best approach.

A good GP knows when to take a strong line.

Exactly.

Listen, I know you don't want to make a big thing about this

Young GP of the Year business.

No, of course not.

But I was thinking of your friends

and colleagues - they might want to help you share in your success.

You know, one of their own, doing so very well.

You think?

I really do.

Maybe a few drinks after work, nothing fancy.

Just a couple of bottles of bubbly.

Yeah!

Dr Tyler...

He's got a lot on his mind.

As do I, Dr Haskey.

Can I have a moment of your time?

No, I'm far too busy.

Actually...

I couldn't help noticing that you've given me

a couple of new patients this afternoon.

Yes, Mr Wilcox and Miss Willis.

They're the ones. The thing is,

I'm worried, Mrs Tembe.

You always tell me that new patients require extra care

and attention, and that's the kind of thing Dr Tyler specialises in.

Well, I suppose I could transfer them...

Excellent!

RINGING TONE

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

'I'm sorry I cancelled the meeting.'

That's all right. Is everything OK?

'Fine, just a cold or something.'

I could pop over...

No, no need.

'It's really not a problem.'

It's not like I'm snowed under or anything.

'Sonia?'

Yes... I'm still here.

So...

All right.

'Is that, "All right," I can pop over?'

Yes, if it's OK. No rush.

Right. I might be an hour or two?

Whenever.

Dr Tyler, I believe Mrs Hollins has spoken to you.

Perhaps, why? What have I done wrong?

We need to talk. I've been digging around.

It seems that they're going to be using "mystery shoppers".

-What?

-For the competition.

They send fake patients to all the nominees to see how

they handle the really difficult cases.

Mrs Hancock!

Have you heard Kevin's good news, Mrs Tembe?

yes, I have. "Young GP of the Year." Congratulations.

My husband is a homosexual.

What?!

When he told me, I was humiliated.

I exposed him before his family, his friends, his church

and his community. I drove him from his country

and then I told the world that he was dead.

Mrs Tembe! That's terrible.

Thank you.

No, I'm serious. How could you do that?

You're always spouting off about Christian values

and forgiveness and charity and all that.

Not to mention honesty!

Dr Tyler, you are wise beyond your years.

No wisdom here, Mrs Tembe. I don't care what you did.

That is why you will never be nominated for

Young GP of the Year.

I'm too old.

And you have limited judgement.

Can you believe that?!

Shocking. So, mystery shoppers. Who is Mrs Hancock?

You saw her. I kicked her out when she got boring.

Dude, that could have been one of them.

You need to tread more carefully.

Use some of that wisdom Mrs Tembe is so fond of.

Especially with any new patients, anyone not on the system.

Wilcox, yes? W-I-L-C-O-X?

"Young GP of the Year?"

So, Mr Wilcox, you're new to Letherbridge, then?

No.

-New to us.

-Is that a problem?

No, no. Of course not.

Just can't find you on our records.

I need a sick note.

And what seems to be bothering you?

Panic attacks.

-OK. And what did your last GP say about them?

-He's a plonker.

-So he didn't give you a fit note, then?

-Like I say...

"He was a plonker." OK, well, let's start with the basics.

Tell me about these panic attacks.

Sometimes I panic. Like a...

panic attack.

And what seems to bring them on?

Stress. Are you going to give me a sick note?

I do actually have to make sure you're ill...

OK. Well, then... I've got another problem.

Is it easier to diagnose?

-Piles.

-Right.

You want to look?

KNOCK ON DOOR

MORE KNOCKING

Who is it?

It's me. Can I come in?

Hey!

All right, all right!

Not piles, then?

Panic attack!

-Brought about by...?

-Stress! You putting your finger...

Do you want to sit down, Mr Wilcox.

I can't. I've got piles.

Young GP of the Year?! Can't even spot a full blown panic attack!

Which lasted about five seconds!

I want a sick note!

No.

Plonker!

Difficult patient? Check.

Newly registered? Check.

Invisible symptoms? Check.

Tricky moral dilemma? Check, check, check.

There was nothing tricky about it?

Were you listening at the door?

Just in case things got hairy...

He can't have been.

No. I reckon you're right.

A real mystery shopper would be...normal.

Probably have some rare symptoms that are easily overlooked.

Like what?

I don't know Kevin. It could be anything.

Thanks.

Do you want to talk?

You have a really tough job.

I don't think I could do it.

That woman last week the lighter fluid...

Sometimes you can get a delayed reaction.

You think that's it?!

I've seen it before. There's no shame.

If you need some time out.

I don't need time out.

This is not a delayed reaction.

So...?

Isn't it obvious?

No. No, it's not.

No-one believes me. Isn't that what they always say?

Why are we hiding?

Kevin's up for a prize.

Any one of the patients could be a judge.

A mystery shopper!

How exciting. So, what award is this?

It's nothing, really.

It is far from nothing! It is a very important award.

He may even get a certificate.

We should all be very proud of him.

Ah! I remember when you got your first certificate.

I was such a proud mother.

What are you talking about?

15 metres. All the way across the swimming pool!

Oh, yeah. Ha-ha.

This is a very serious matter!

Dr Tyler deserves every plaudit that comes his way.

Anyone seen the stapler?

Nurse Reid.

Typical!

So, what do you reckon?

What about her?

Oh, yes. Butter wouldn't melt.

I'm sorry.

Well done, Sherlock.

Are you hurt?

No.

Did you know him?

Not as well as I thought I did.

Dave Cartwright?

You OK, Mrs Tembe?

Dr Tyler seems to be the only one who seems to understand.

You mean about your husband?

I suppose you are going to be as liberal

and as understanding as everybody else.

I am the last person qualified to judge anyone's behaviour.

One of these days, I will sit you down

and tell you my whole sordid history.

So, you are not going to condemn me?

No. I won't be the one to throw the first stone.

Then, perhaps, I should be the first one to throw the stone myself.

It's probably nothing. I'm sorry I wasted your time.

Not really. Not an issue.

I just want to make sure I've covered all the angles.

It's just a headache. I'm a bit stressed at work.

I do worry.

Do you have a family history of...anything at all?

Now I am worried.

No, don't worry! I'm just being thorough.

I normally just take a few paracetamol.

How many do you normally take?

I don't know. A few.

Every day?

No. Just when I have a headache.

Hmm.

It is just a headache, isn't it?

I think we should run some tests.

-What kind of tests? My mum had tests!

-What for?

They were inconclusive!

Inconclusive for what?!

-I don't know! Whatever they were testing for.

-And...?

-And what?

-And how is she now...?

Fine! She's fine!

Right, that all seems ticketyboo!

How are we getting on with the bursary?

Well, actually.

The Vice-Chancellor's office seem to be very accommodating -

they think it will give a sense of community.

Yes, Mrs Tembe?

Mr Bellamy, Dr Carter, there is

a problem with my contract of employment.

Well?

I have been employed under false pretences.

In my application, I claimed to be a widow, whereas, in fact,

I have a husband living.

In addition,

my moral character has been revealed to be of the basest kind.

You will wish to terminate my contract with immediate effect.

Do you have a widow's pension?

Mr Bellamy!

Have you made any material gain from this deceit?

Have you committed a crime?

No, of course not.

What we require is an excellent receptionist

and administrator who is fair and honest with our patients.

The rest, however torrid, is your business.

Agreed.

You are not going to give me the sack?

No.

Then I will have to hand in my notice.

Then I will have to refuse to accept it.

I don't know! She might be ill.

She might be acting.

Or she might not be ill but thinks she is.

You can't afford to take the chance.

What do you mean?

Your award is about to go up in smoke. When's the ceremony?

Two weeks.

That's no time for second chances.

You really think she's the one?

You've got to give her every test known to mankind.

Leave no stone unturned. Find out what she's got,

whether she's got it for real, she thinks she's got it,

-or whether she's pretending to think she's got it.

-Right...

Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this, however long it takes.

We'll get some blood tests taken today,

and I'll book you in for a scan at St Phil's.

When will that be?

-The scan? Soon as possible. A week or so?

-A week?!

Well, I can stress the urgency...

OK! OK, I'll pull some strings, and we'll get it done this week.

The main thing is we put you first and we get to the bottom of this.

-OK?

-OK.

Come on!

We need to book her in for an MRI scan as soon as possible.

Yes, but it is very late...

Now, Mrs Tembe.

I'm dying, aren't I?

We're all dying...

Hopefully not this evening. Dr Khella, would you...

Come and sit down...

Erm, it's my patient...

She seemed a trifle upset.

She's a mystery shopper!

She's not really ill at all, but we need to show 100%

dedication to our patients' needs.

Name?

What's your name?

Marta Willis.

Ms Willis, would you like to have a chat with Dr Khella, I'm sure

then things won't seem quite so bad.

Why don't you follow me?

Explanation?

Young GP of the Year, I suspect.

What?! I was just trying to...

It would benefit the Mill if I win.

A silly initiative from the CCG, to appeal to

the X-Factor generation. Every practice had to make a nomination.

If I'd had my way, it would have been strangled at birth.

Right, well, at least you chose me!

-It was you or Jas. We had to toss a coin.

-You lost.

Anyone know why the fridge is absolutely filled up with champagne?

Oh, great!

Is it party time, Dr Tyler?!

You!

Maybe we should invite some "mystery guests"!

You set me up.

Have you had nothing better to do all day?

No.

What do you want to do?

Let's get it over with.

I can't take samples here.

Jimmi!

That's not the way it works.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be here.

You know the protocol.

Stuff the protocol.

You don't like being alone with me, do you?

Scared I'll accuse you next?!

I'm worried any competent defence counsel will tear your case apart

if we don't do it by the book!

What case!

Sonia, a colleague of mine, a friend,

she went through what you're going through.

She didn't want to pursue it.

She wanted to forget it.

I'm not forgetting.

Let me call the station. We'll get a female officer down here,

then we can take you to the rape suite. Do it properly.

-Not going to happen.

-Please!

Nurse Marquez.

You must have heard by now what happened with my husband.

My...intolerance, my bigotry.

And yet still you smile at me.

If I was newly married, happily married, and my wife came

to tell me that it was all a mistake,

"I prefer men after all..."

Rejection hurts, and we lash out.

I understand that.

You are not a bigot, Mrs Tembe.

You never judge anyone as harshly as you judge yourself.

That is very kind.

You have all been very kind.

I'm really not worthy of all your friendship and your tolerance.

I will try to be worthy of it in the future.

Here we go. Can't let it go to waste!

I'm sorry. About earlier.

To quote one of my patients, I was a plonker!

You are a very fine young man, and I hope you win the competition.

I think I'll withdraw.

No need.

I'm sorry, Dr Tyler, but I'm afraid you've been disqualified.

Mrs Hancock?

Jenny Whitaker, actually. Out-of-work actor and...

mystery shopper.

What?! You for real?

A real pretend patient, yes.

I swear I had no idea.

I thought I just made it up. That is incredible.

You did very well, actually,

considering my provocative behaviour.

But I'm afraid Mr Bellamy

and Dr Carter failed to read the small print.

You can't be Young GP of the Year.

Why not?

Because you're too old.

I can't.

If there's evidence of rape, we can prosecute.

If? You think I'm making this up?!

No, I don't think you're making it up.

Then take your samples here - now.

There's no point!

Because you don't believe me.

No! Because every time a rape case falls apart,

it's because some officer or some doctor's cut corners!

Let me call someone...

I think you should leave.

What do you tell the victims?

Prosecute. Every time.

Not a word, Jimmi.

To anyone.

It's over.

So you can all relax and wind your necks in, all right?

Tam! Tamir!

Just go! Now!

Just calm down and...

Just go, now! Please. Just drive!

Hi.

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