A Most Unusual Item Doctors

Some people think they're immune to sales pitches.

But let me tell you, for every person there is one item

they can't refuse.

And that's my speciality.

When customers peek inside my suitcase of dreams,

they usually find what they need.

But today, I'm going to face the biggest pitch of my life.

Luckily my suitcase will contain a most unusual item.

MUSIC: "Stolen Car" by Bruce Springsteen

It's me.

Let's look again. Look, that's me, with more hair.

Standing next to you on our wedding day. Remember?

Who's that?

That's your brother, Clive.

I couldn't tell you how much hair he's got now.

It's Tommy.

We're married.

And you sold my mother a set of brushes!

All the handles fell off on the day of the wedding,

she thought it was an omen!

SHE LAUGHS

Have you brought Clive with you? I'd love to see him again.

He's hidden my red kite.

Clive isn't here. Not today.

But you remember this little box of magic?

Our lives have been kept afloat by things sold from this old case.

Ta-da!

HE LAUGHS

Just what you need.

Now, do you remember what programme we used to watch with an eclair?

Spooks!

Oh, Spooks!

The one about the ghosts?

Yeah.

But I've got to go somewhere to go - somewhere important - later today.

Yes, your kidney appointment?

Yes, that's right! That's brilliant. My kidney appointment.

But I don't want you worry, Muriel,

because it'll all be settled by the end of the day.

And I'll be right as rain.

Shall we eat these?

Well, I shouldn't.

HE LAUGHS

We could pretend that programme is on.

We could! Pretend the window is the telly.

Come on.

If you will just take a seat you will be called.

Is everything OK?

Yes.

If you want to talk about...

No. Thank you.

Ladies!

I've got something in here that'll turn those frowns upside down.

I'll be surprised if George Clooney fits in there, Tommy.

I've got something better than that.

The Miracle Sponge.

This little beauty takes all the effort out of cleaning.

Here, try it.

No pressure is needed to clean any surface.

And no surface can resist its power.

It feels very greasy.

Ah, that'll be the special cleaning molecules.

Here comes the science bit.

Developed by NASA...

possibly. These super molecules stick to the surface

you're cleaning and actually repel any more dirt that's sticking.

Maybe I'll get one for Rob's neck.

Well, no thank you.

Aww, I'll have one, Tommy. I'll get one for her as well.

On the house, Mrs H.

So how are you feeling?

Keeping myself busy so I don't think about it.

Lots of people have dialysis.

And if it gets me back out there,

Mrs H, I guess it's worth it.

Oh, watch where you're going!

My mistake.

Dr Reid. Got a moment?

Yes.

Are you OK?

-Yes fine, why?

-Really?

Well, you're bound to hear about it sooner or later.

One of the policemen at the station has been accused of rape.

And I know he would never do anything like that.

Allegations happen all the time to professional people.

-We're all vulnerable.

-Yes.

It just comes down to whether they're true or not.

You didn't see the state he was in.

All we can do is protect ourselves from accusations in the first place.

My case in point,

that gentleman in reception. I don't want him making complaints about you.

I think this is a little more serious.

Just making my point, we're all vulnerable.

You can put your sleeve down, Mr Sandison.

So, how are you feeling about your dialysis this afternoon?

Well, if it's what I need to keep the show on the road, got to be done.

Good attitude.

Now, your first one is three o'clock at St Phil's?

Yes.

Sorry...first one?

Well it's not a one-off treatment,

that's why we put the fistula in your arm.

And it's not a one-off thing?

You'll have three sessions, four hours each.

You may feel a little unwell in between.

But it's going to improve your overall quality of life.

Didn't think I was going to be tied to a machine.

It's the best we can do until a donor's found.

Look, maybe I don't need it. I still get around!

It's not getting any easier though, is it?

So at three o'clock, everything changes?

That's the ticket.

Hey, what's up?

Wasted morning, that's all.

You sit there trying to explain the importance of a balanced diet

and you can just tell all they're thinking about is pizza.

You want to prepare a flyer you can just hand out.

Or you could mention on your radio show that

"Chips do not count as one of your five a day"?

Oh, me and Kev aren't going to grace the airwaves any time soon.

It's not me I'm worried about. It's Muriel.

They moved her to the Garden Nursing Home, didn't they?

Yeah, and she's doing all right.

Some visits she's nearly normal and I think,

"What on earth is she doing here?"

Other times, she's convinced she's at a tea dance in 1958.

Well, you won't be at St Phil's all the time,

you can still visit her.

But not as regularly.

She needs that regular, well, those visits benefit her

and keep my Muriel in the present, Doctor.

If I'm not there...

One time she made 15 cups of tea.

I found them dotted all over our front room.

And there she was in her best dress waiting for these

long-gone relatives.

You need to think about your own condition.

I can't give up on her!

No-one expects you to.

You need to take time to sort yourself out.

You must keep that appointment, Mr Sandison.

I'd better get my skates on then.

Do you know, I've been a trader over 40 years?

There's nothing I haven't done. Nothing I haven't sold.

Football shirts dyed different colours

so I could sell to different fans.

Them pens that write in zero gravity.

And now, I've got until three o'clock

for my closing down sale, Dr Carter.

Everything must go.

Emma.

How was your weekend?

Not all that hot.

But I imagine it was nothing compared to Dave's.

Rape is an appalling thing to accuse somebody of.

Rape is also an appalling thing to do to someone.

-If it's true.

-I think we should keep our noses out of it.

Greasy?

Exactly.

And as a doctor,

I don't have to tell you it's all about the super molecules, do I?

No...what?

No. So how much?

Free. One day only.

Ah, thanks.

Ladies. Free Miracle Sponges. One day only, no catch.

Just remember Tommy Sandison when you're cleaning your pots.

Mr Sandison, why don't you come inside and wait for your taxi?

This is not a car-boot sale.

Where's the harm? It makes them feel better, doesn't it?

But you are cluttering up my frontage.

Do you know why I sell things?

For financial gain.

It's the buzz.

The feeling of giving someone something they really want.

At a reasonable profit, of course.

And what if people do not want your Miracle Sponge?

That's not what I'm really selling.

If the Miracle Sponge can reduce the time cleaning by a minute,

then that's one more minute that someone can spend

with their wife or husband, one more minute laughing with their family.

I'm selling the gift of time to people.

Isn't that worth it?

You are still cluttering up my frontage.

I'm going to miss all this.

Ah. Good morning, sir.

If you went to Mrs Bailey before Mrs Hessing,

you might have enough time, should only take ten minutes.

But then I'll have to double-back for my final patient. I haven't got the time.

I'm sure he'll go of his own accord.

He's talking about a closing down sale.

I can see him getting carried away and forgetting.

Well, there's nothing more we can do.

You have the afternoon off.

-No...

-It'll only take ten minutes.

I was always the man with places to be. Thousands of things to sell,

thousands of pitches to make.

Not the man who had time for wearing striped pyjamas at St Phil's.

Well, one less thing you've got to worry about is how you get to

St Phil's - because I'm going to take you.

Thanks.

Can you pick me up from the nursing home?

I want to stay with Muriel for as long as I can.

CAR HORN BLARES

-That's your cab.

-Ah.

Hey, do you remember, you sold me my first set of saucepans

when I got married?

I remember every sale, Mrs H.

I've still got one.

It hasn't got a handle and Rob's drilled a hole in it

so we use it as a plant pot.

But he said that you could sell anything to anyone.

I can, can't I?

Thank you!

Hey, don't forget, 2.30.

Look, you were saying that no-one was doing this radio show?

Do you think they're looking for someone?

-You?

-Well...

You can't be any worse than me and Kev.

What do you think?

Have you done this kind of thing before?

Kind of. I just thought, new challenge...

You'd be great.

Seriously. You would be.

OK, will you put a good word in for me?

I'd love to, but it's not my call.

Howard is the man you'll have to convince.

What time are you going?

Half past.

That's a while yet.

You can stay and say hello to Clive.

He'll be here soon.

No, he won't.

Look, I know I said that tonight I'd all be fixed,

well, it seems that medical science disagrees with me.

And I didn't know whether to tell you,

but, then I thought maybe you'd remember if I did.

But the main thing is, I don't want you to worry.

Worry?

I start my dialysis today.

And that means I won't be able to come as much.

But whatever happens I want you to know...I love you.

Now, I've got somewhere to go first.

What's in there?

A most unusual item.

I love you too.

SINK GURGLES

Dave admits they had sex - twice.

But both times it was consensual.

Doesn't tally with her side of things.

They'd been drinking. He admits that. They had sex.

He admits that. Why, what does she say?

Oh, Emma, we can't discuss it like it's staff room gossip.

No, but we can discuss it like the medical professionals we are.

He was sick to the stomach when I examined him.

The fact you know Dave...

The fact I know Dave could save an awful lot of time and heartache.

Come on, we both know that Dave would never do something like this.

He dumped her, and this is just some kind of sick revenge.

In my experience, people are capable of anything.

CAR HORN BLARES

Want to put your case in the boot?

No, if it's all right with you, I'll keep it with me.

As long as you promise not to sell me anything.

HE LAUGHS

You've scrubbed up well, I bet Muriel appreciated that.

It's not for Muriel.

I need to do something before we go to the hospital,

before all the treatment starts.

It's very important, Mrs H. One last sale.

There's not time.

Oh c'mon, give an old salesman the chance to make one final pitch.

I promise you, it's the pitch of a lifetime.

A most unusual item.

All I'm asking of you is ten minutes.

It's even on the way - 23 Bookman Street.

Please, Mrs H.

I can't. Now, get in.

-What are you going to say?

-Jas, this isn't necessary.

-I know Howard can

be intimidating, but if you just...

Everything OK, Mrs Tembe?

I was not listening.

Course not.

Some person unknown has left a mark on Mr Bellamy's door.

So far it has resisted soap and water.

So now it is time for elbow grease.

Can I pop in and see him?

Carpe diem.

No.

I mean he is, he is not in at the moment.

OK, good.

We'll be back.

So will I. This is not shifting.

DRILLING

It's always the same when you're in a rush.

Sorry for messing you around.

What are you talking about? You're not messing me around.

Hey! Where are you going?

SHE BEEPS HORN

Emma...

Do you think Sonia O'Neil's story stacks up?

Dave hardly had a mark on him.

Sometimes women are too terrified to fight back.

She bit him though.

So there you go. She fought back.

It was more like a love bite than a proper flesh bite.

So what are you saying?

I think both times they had sex it was consensual.

-I think she's making it up to get back at him.

-Why?

Because he didn't respond to her long-term plans for the relationship?

I have to see Mr McKenzie.

She's got form, Jimmi. Remember the rubbish she spread about Rob?

Maybe now's the one chance she's got to finally destroy someone.

-I'm sorry I just...

-Look, if she had really been raped,

I'd defend her like a shot...

I examined her. I heard her story.

You didn't.

Hello, Clive.

Tommy?

It's been a while, hasn't it?

What do you think you're playing at, Tommy?

I could ask the same question.

Can we...can we come inside?

We haven't got time for tea.

There's always time to see something amazing.

I want to try out for the radio slot.

I'm not sure.

OK, why?

Well, I don't think you're quite what they're looking for.

Come on. I've got a perfect face for radio.

PHONE RINGS

Look, the bottom line is,

I saw it as being a show for a doctor.

PHONE CONTINUES

Chris, please...

We should be in a waiting room by now, Tommy.

Look at this.

But then he was always the petty, drab one.

Are you even listening to me?

Haven't spoken for 15 years!

HE LAUGHS

I still can't remember the reasons.

Do you want me to remind you?

That's not what I'm here for.

Well, you're not here to tell me bad news.

Not about Muriel. You're too upbeat.

Can't pull the wool over your eyes!

Tommy, we need to be going...

Not being rude, but who on earth are you?

I'm Karen Hollins from the Mill Health Centre.

So, you're supervising him?

No, I was trying to catch him.

Well, now we've all caught up, and you've had your water,

perhaps you'd like to tell me what's going on?

I've got something here that might interest you.

I'm not interested in your tat.

It's a most unusual item...

The Letherbridge Amateur Female Darts trophy, 1984.

Muriel won this without throwing a dart

because the other side didn't turn up.

Fascinating.

And this is the last letter she got from your mother.

It talks about a family holiday in Rhyl in 1950.

The first time Muriel looked after her baby brother - you - on holiday.

This was her lucky key ring.

This is the recipe for her legendary chicken casserole.

This is a photo of her with her German pen friend, Nina.

And this is a brooch she found on a train to Whitby.

I don't want any of these things.

I'm not selling these things. These are fragments,

reminders of something you've lost.

I'm offering you the chance to turn the clock back.

I'm giving you the chance to make things right with your sister.

Roll up, it's a one-off offer for one customer only.

Come on. What have you got to lose?

The clock's ticking.

Why does it have to be a doctor?

The radio show?

I am more in tune with young people

than most of the staff in this place.

Look, it's not all about playing the latest groups.

It's about getting the message across.

And I can do that.

I do that 20 times a day here.

Granted it may often be the same message, but I do it.

I don't think they'd take you seriously.

Why not? I can talk in language they understand,

and do it without being preachy.

You know all the work I've done with the youth clubs,

and I've used the studio before with some of the kids.

There may be distressed people calling in. Can you handle that?

I handle that every day here.

I can do this, Howard.

Well I can't fault your enthusiasm.

Well?

OK. I'll give the radio people a call.

But remember this.

All the time you're on air,

never forget you're a spokesperson for this practice.

All right?

-WHISPERS:

-Yes!

-I said I'd never go back.

-But...

There is no "but". Too much was said to just...sweep it away.

Sorry, Tommy.

There's something Tommy isn't telling you.

He starts dialysis today,

and he's worried that he's not going to be able to see as much of Muriel.

And she needs someone to talk to, to remember the old days.

Why?

She's suffering from dementia.

Clive, you know we're a very private couple, we never had kids,

only a few close friends.

There's no-one else. I need you to see her.

That's all.

The more we talk, the more chance there is of us holding onto her.

She struggles with the present but she remembers the past.

She talks about you and her kite.

It's like you were kids again.

The thing of it is, you're probably

the only person who remembers the argument.

How long's she had a German pen friend?

Go and ask her.

Sorry about earlier.

I just worry - what if I'm right and no-one listened?

I just want to grab some lunch.

Dave's only crime is that he didn't want to settle down with that harpy.

Now he's going to be dragged through the courts, and his reputation ruined...

He'll get a fair hearing.

It doesn't have to get that far.

Not if someone can make her see sense.

All it needs is for someone to tell her to think

seriously about what she's doing.

I'm putting this down to the fact you've had a long day.

Jimmi, you could persuade her to drop the charges.

Maybe we shouldn't get involved.

I don't think I can do this.

You know what?

I think you can do anything.

Miracle sponges - free, one day only.

Today, I gave my last great sales pitch.

But, boy, was it a corker.

MUSIC: "Stolen Car" by Bruce Springsteen

Clive!

Hello, Muriel.

What are you doing?

Watching...

..Spooks!

Jimmi?

Dave has been suspended. Did you know that?

Are you prepared to do nothing?

OK, I accept O'Neil had a problem with Rob Hollins in the first place.

But it's completely different from accusing her of fabricating a claim of rape against Dave Cartwright.

-There is one thing in common...

-Emma!

The same vindictive woman has made both accusations.

Only one of those accusations is going to ruin somebody's life!

You have no basis for that other than a dislike for Sonia O'Neil!

What is wrong with you? You've been going on about this all day.

I just want your take on it.

-No, you want me to agree with you because it will make you feel better.

-That's not true.

-You like Dave, you had a fling with him.

-How did you...

You don't like Sonia. Fine, who cares? It's irrelevant.

If you want to know the facts look at my report, stop badgering me into taking your side.

I wouldn't dream of it, you're clearly on hers already!

Oh, I give up!

OK, you don't like Sonia O'Neil,

it doesn't mean she doesn't have the same rights as any other woman.

Or is it only nice women who get raped?

Phil's over from Denton Street nick. Same station as Dave.

Bet he's wishing he stayed there now.

Name doesn't ring any bells, I'm afraid.

Just thought I'd mention it.

I'm glad you did, Captain Bellamy.

-Let me take this.

-I can manage.

-It's much easier...

-I can manage!

Whose side are you on, Captain?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd