By the Pricking of My Thumbs Doctors

-Morning!

-Morning.

Good weekend?

Not particularly. Yours?

I've had better.

How quickly Monday morning comes around.

Oh, tell me about it.

-Yeah. Can I take the car into town whilst you're in there?

-Hey? No.

Go on. You're going to be ages.

One more ticket, Mitch, you can lose your licence. Oi!

I'm just looking out for you. Hi!

Hi.

20 quid says you can't get her into bed.

Hey, have some respect, Mitch.

No wonder you can't get a girlfriend.

Nice car.

Great bodywork.

Sorry, sorry. Did I just say that?!

-I'm afraid you did.

-I'm Stuart. Are you one of the patients here?

No, I'm one of the doctors.

Really? Wow!

I think if doctors looked more like you, I'd be ill more often.

-Good morning, Doctor Haskey.

-Morning.

-May I remind you that your feedback form for Doctor Clay

-needs to be handed in?

-Mrs Tembe, let me get through the door.

-Yeah, but have you finished it?

-No, not yet.

Well, I have left a copy for you on your desk just in case.

Has anyone ever told you you've got beautiful eyes?

I mean it. Wait!

You are lucky, I have six forms to fill in!

-Good morning, Doctor Reid.

-Morning.

-Are you free tonight at all?

-I am sorry but we are not open yet. Thank you!

Let me in, darling. I'm diabetic.

I am not your darling!

Cheeky boy coming here...

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Hello. Come in!

Oh, I was expecting a patient.

Yeah, I told him you'd be a minute.

So, how did it go on Friday with the patent lawyer?

It was a disaster, Jas.

Apparently, some South Korean company has already patented a very similar device.

Except theirs is cheaper and crappier with far less features.

-You can't give up.

-I've got no choice.

They've got the patent. End of story.

I'm sorry.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Hello. Come in!

I'll see you later.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Come in!

Oh, hello again.

Must be my lucky day. Didn't realise I was seeing you.

Well, I'm covering the clinic today. So, how can I help you?

I came in last week for some tests,

but the results aren't back yet and...my symptoms are getting worse.

OK. Well, let's pull your records up. What's your full name?

Stuart, Stuart Foxall.

And your address?

14 Somerton Road.

Do you want my phone number with that as well?

No, that's already on here.

OK, in what way are your symptoms getting worse?

It's a bit embarrassing.

There's no need to be embarrassed, Mr Foxall.

It's my er...

wedding tackle.

Right.

It's just been really itchy and then...

sorry to be a bit graphic, like, but this pus has come out the end.

OK, well, I can see that you saw Doctor Clay previously

-and were complaining of pain when urinating.

-Yeah.

Right, well...I'd like to take a look, if that's all right.

Thought you'd never ask.

I'll just call to get a nurse to step in.

Mrs Tembe? Could you ask Tash to step in, please? Thank you.

There's no need to do the full monty, Mr Foxall!

It's all right, I'm not shy. Actually, I'm a personal trainer, so...

Right. If you just sit up on the couch.

I just need you to undo your trousers and pull your underwear down.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Come in!

I've been looking everywhere for you!

Looks like you've found me.

I've been thinking about this Korean company...

Jas, you're wasting your breath.

Just hear me out. Your invention's better than theirs, right?

Oh, it is. And that's not just sour grapes talking, it is!

No, I know. But it got me thinking.

The Koreans don't know about your version, do they?

No, and they never will now.

So why not contact them?

Maybe if they knew how much better your version is,

they'd want to collaborate. Maybe you could cut a deal with them

to develop the product together.

Eh?

Thanks, Tash.

Actually, I was wondering if you could look at something for me.

I got this tattoo done last week,

I'm worried it might be a bit infected. What d'you reckon?

Well, the skin does look quite inflamed.

But I can give you a cream to for that.

-You can get dressed now.

-Thanks.

So do you like guys with tattoos?

I don't have an opinion either way.

They get a bit addictive.

Fortunately, my brother's a tattooist,

so I get a bit of discount.

Shall we get back to the reason you're here?

Yeah. Sorry.

Your symptoms are consistent with a sexually transmitted infection

but I won't be able to give you a definite diagnosis

until the test results are back.

So does this mean I'll see you again?

It means that we'll contact you when the results are in.

In the meantime, you need to avoid any sexual activity.

Right.

But hey, we could still do dinner.

Is this your number?

No, Mr Foxall, it's your prescription,

for your cream.

There it is - Hyul Industries.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

BOTH: Hello, come in!

I found this in the staff room bin.

What is it?

The feedback form Doctor Haskey was supposed to fill in.

Oh, I wonder how it could have got there.

Try that link.

This is it! These must be the key contacts.

You can email one of them.

HE SIGHS

Now what?

I haven't got any of my research notes, they're at home.

Oh, for goodness' sake, Al, will you stop making excuses?!

This time next year, you could be a millionaire!

It's lovely to see you, Mrs Clunes. You take care.

-Thank you. Bye.

-Bye-bye.

Doctor Reid? The test results for Stuart Foxall.

Hmm... No surprise there, then.

Mrs Land?

Could you call Mr Foxall and get him to come in

as soon as possible, please?

I'm going to grab a quick coffee.

Hello, Mrs Tembe. How are you?

I am very well, thank you.

Would you like to see a doctor?

No. I'm here to see you, actually.

I was wondering if we could meet for lunch.

Everyone in church keeps asking for you.

Well, I am very busy today. I have a lot of important work to do.

Surely you must be allowed a break?

-Well, yes, but...

-Great! I'll pop back later.

Well, I have so much to do.

Well, I am not allowed to leave the surgery.

Oh, well, that's all right. I'll bring us a picnic! See you in a while!

Let me know if you feel any discomfort.

Here? No?

Ooh, the skin's already a bit sore there,

because of this dreadful tattoo.

It's an interesting design.

You don't have to be diplomatic. It's vile.

I was very drunk at the time.

A guy I was dating talked me into it.

His name's Stuart, hence the two "S"s - Sarah and Stuart.

Right.

As soon as the skin's healed, I'll have it removed.

Do you experience any pain when urinating?

A little.

I assumed it was cystitis.

And when was the last time you had sex?

Last week, with Stuart.

I dumped him that night, after the tattoo incident.

You think it's an STI?

It's possible.

How was your sandwich?

It was lovely, thank you.

How about a macaroon to go with your tea?

Oh, no, I could not eat another thing.

But I brought them especially.

Is that nice?

Mmm. Mmm.

It is delicious.

You are a terrible liar, Mrs Tembe.

-What?

-I know they're horrible.

They're Marjorie's handiwork.

Honestly, Rasputin wouldn't have lasted five minutes with her baking.

And Christine's taken over all your admin.

She can't do rotas

and she thinks a spreadsheet is something you put down

when you're decorating.

It's just not the same without you.

We all miss you.

You miss my organisational skills and my baking.

Well, no.

I think the Reverend misses more than just your vol-au-vents.

What is going on between you two?

Well, it is...it is complicated.

I would rather not discuss it.

Is it because of your husband? The gay one?

How did you know about that?

Oh, Tina heard you talking to the Reverend.

She was doing the brasses next door. She heard every word.

You shouldn't have.

You chased up those test results for me.

Well, actually, it was our receptionist that did that.

Maybe we can talk about that drink now?

No, let's talk about your results, shall we?

I'm afraid to say that they show you have contracted gonorrhoea.

-Are you serious?

-It's treatable.

But you will need to contact your most recent sexual partners.

They'll need to be tested.

But I always use protection.

And I don't sleep with tarts.

You must think I'm a right skank.

Having an STI is nothing to be ashamed of.

But how have I got this if I always use a condom?

Well... You can catch an STI

from other forms of sexual intimacy than just intercourse.

-This is Sarah!

-Well...

She's given this to me!

Was she your most recent sexual partner?

Mitchell said he thought she was sleeping with another bloke from the gym.

-The bitch!

-All right. Steady on.

Is this for me?

Stuart!

The whole congregation knows my situation?

My reputation is in tatters!

Oh, give over. It's tomorrow's chip paper.

Look at Debbie.

We all knew she was up to no good with Trevor, the tenor.

She's old enough to be his mother, for goodness' sake!

Well, it turned out to be the making of her as an organist!

All that extra rehearsal!

I am not Debbie Short!

My situation is a...a matter of conscience.

Which is exactly why you need to get yourself back to church!

I know we've let you down in the past,

but this time, we want to be there for you.

I will think about it.

It's what we've been praying for.

Please, come back.

I mean, if you could only see

the toll it's been taking on the Reverend.

What?

Oh, his sermons have been so miserable.

It's like he's completely lost his sparkle.

He obviously regrets breaking up with you.

HE CHUCKLES

-How's your form filling?

-Like pulling hen's teeth.

Yeah. As if we haven't got enough admin to do!

Oh, by the way, you got a call from a Mr Ahn Kyong Soo.

He said you could get him on this number.

Everything all right?

Oh, look out!

Heston?

Ah! You shouldn't have.

What would you do if you thought you had put a patient at risk?

Indirectly, of course.

Depends on the risk.

Reprisals from a patient.

An ex boyfriend who left here in a rather agitated state.

I want to warn her,

but how do I do that without breaking confidentiality?

You can't. Steer well clear.

Who gave you the flowers?

Oh, no-one important.

Give them to Mrs Tembe. Tell her they're for the waiting room.

Hello, could I speak to Sarah Greene, please?

Rob? Sorry, I must have dialled the wrong number...

What?

Where is she now?

Doctor Reid?

Can I get you anything? Some water?

Please.

Thank you.

Thanks.

How did you know I was here?

I tried to call you after you left the surgery.

The police told me about the attack.

I'm so sorry, Sarah.

It's not your fault.

Do you mind telling me what happened?

I'd...I'd just got home,

I went upstairs to get changed.

He was waiting for me. In my bedroom.

Do you know who it was?

He wore a mask.

Did he speak to you?

No.

You think it's someone I know?

Maybe.

Think carefully.

Anything you can remember will help the police.

I'm sorry. I can't remember.

It all happened so quickly.

I didn't even fight back.

I just froze.

It's OK.

It's OK.

I thought he was going to rape me...

..and I just stood there.

I didn't even defend myself.

That's the worst part.

Sarah, when something like this happens,

none of us know how we're going to react.

The most important thing now is that you get better

and get on with your life.

But what if I can't?

You can and you will.

And whoever is responsible for this, the police will find them.

I promise you.

-Bye-bye, Mrs Forde.

-See you.

Doctor Khella?

Have you seen Doctor Haskey? He's not returned for afternoon surgery.

-Have you tried his mobile?

-Repeatedly. No answer.

-Maybe he's stuck in traffic?

-No, no, no. His car is still outside.

Oh. Hang on, I think I know where he'll be.

Well? How did it go?

Oh, no.

What happened?

Thanks.

Doctor Reid?

They're trying to fit me up for assault.

-I haven't done anything!

-She's given a statement. Why else would she be here?

Doctor Reid? What have they said to you?

-Surely, you don't think I've done this, do you?

-Don't touch me!

-Oi!

Get him out of here!

Stuart, we need to go. Now!

All right! I'll just get my stuff.

Keep the change, mate.

Are you all right?

You're releasing him?

We had no choice. His brother's given him an alibi.

-And that's it?

-Don't worry. We'll soon pull it apart.

It's not worth the paper it's written on.

-But I thought they called you?

-Oh, no, they did!

The MD no less. He called personally so he could slag me off!

Apparently, Hyul Industries are one of the biggest electronic companies in all of Asia.

Not that I've ever heard of them.

Who cares if they're NASA if your idea's better?

Yeah. I did try and explain to them

the unique advantages of my device over theirs,

but, by that point, he was practically having an aneurysm.

Who am I?

Some small-town doctor

from a country with a laughable record on technological innovation.

I should stick to dispensing haemorrhoid cream and suppositories!

His English was surprisingly good.

CAR ALARM BEEPING

That's my car.

This is Stuart, isn't it?

How would he know it's your car?

Because he saw me park it at the surgery this morning.

We've had quite a lot of vandalism over the last few weeks,

-it might not be connected.

-Oh, come off it, Rob!

Look, he obviously guessed that I was giving a statement

and this is his way of getting back at me!

I'll check the CCTV and we'll get the SOCO report from Sarah's house.

We'll deal with it then.

What if he goes to the hospital and threatens her?

I've got an officer there. He won't get anywhere near her.

Is this really about Sarah?

Cos I know something went down last week between you and Dave.

Oh. Talk of the station, is it?

No.

This has got nothing to do with that.

Do you need the car?

No. Should I call you a cab?

No. I'll be fine. Just let me know if anything comes up on CCTV.

I'm not going in there, Stuart. We shouldn't be here.

Mitch, I just want to try and talk to her.

I'm telling you - this is a bad idea.

Look, I'll be about ten minutes.

-Sounds like you've had a lucky escape.

-What?

Oh, someone's changed their tune.

-What?

-"This time next year, you'll be a millionaire, Al,

"the Koreans will be banging on your door."

Thanks to you, I've just been ridiculed

by some half wit with an ego the size of the Atlantic!

I'm sorry, but that was never my intention.

I was perfectly fine this morning, I'd had the weekend to regroup...

I was already starting to plan the next big idea.

But, no. You had to drag my attention back to this, didn't you?

Fine. Next time, I'll keep my mouth shut!

Oh, come on! You don't have to be so sensitive!

Women...

It's Mitchell, isn't it?

What's it to you?

You Stuart's brother?

Foster brother, yeah.

Look, I understand why you're trying to protect him,

but do you have any idea how serious perjury is?

Do you know what he did to that woman?

She deserved it.

What?

She gave him a disease.

I'm clearly wasting my breath

trying to make a kid take any responsibility.

You bitch.

Did Stuart teach you to speak to people like that?

I did it.

Mmm! You should have seen her face slick with blood.

I only wish I'd filmed it.

All right, mate, all right.

Come on. Off we go...

All right! You've made your point.

You won't get away with this.

It's my word against yours, there's nothing you can do.

-We'll see what the police have to say about that.

-Yeah, you just try it. You'll be sorry.

-What's going on?

-Ask your brother.

Mitch, what's she on about?

Look. I said she was sleeping around, but you wouldn't listen!

What have you done?!

I was getting her back!

Rob, you need to get to St Phil's as quickly as possible.

-HE SHOUTS:

-Oi! Who you talking to?!

Hiya. How's it going?

I just have one left.

Oh, well, I've got all the forms from campus. I haven't looked at them.

I don't think I want to know what Daniel or Howard think of me.

-I'm sure they have said positive things, Mrs Hollins.

-Yeah.

Probably just being paranoid.

Anyway, at least you're doing one for me as well.

I can always count on you to be fair.

Yes, well, I'm not sure why you would assume that.

Why?

Because you've got honesty written through you like a stick of rock.

Are you out of your mind?!

I did it for you, mate!

We look out for each other. That's what you've always said!

Not like this!

SIRENS WAILING

I'm sorry, all right?

I loved you, mate.

Stuart, please? Help me. I'm nothing without you!

I can't, Mitch, I can't help you any more. Mitch!

Mitch! Mitch!

Emma?

They've picked him up.

Oh, thank goodness.

His brother helped us find him.

What were you thinking, tackling Mitchell on your own?

I had to do something.

You should have left that to me!

You're not responsible for what happened to Sarah.

Well, that's a matter of opinion.

What? Why? How are you responsible?

I should've acted sooner.

I should've gone after him when he bolted from the surgery.

How would that have changed anything?

What Mitchell did, he did of his own free will

and nothing Stuart did or said put him up to it.

I should've phoned her earlier

instead of wrestling with my conscience

and debating it with Heston.

What did Heston advise?

-Do nothing.

-Exactly.

Can we draw a line under this, please?

I'm not sure I can.

Why are you personalising it?

Because I got my judgements of people wrong.

I thought Dave was a good guy.

I thought Stuart was a monster.

Look, if I can't trust my instincts,

then, maybe I shouldn't be doing the job.

You had every reason to suspect Stuart. I know I did!

Mitchell is now in custody, all thanks to you.

-How is that not doing your job?

-Oh, I don't know.

What happened with Dave?

I don't want to talk about it.

Fine.

You know, we all get people wrong from time to time.

So why don't you just go home and get some rest

and I'll see you next time you're on duty.

Do you want to tell Sarah that Mitchell's in custody or shall I?

I'll tell her.

Thanks, Rob.

Oh, thank you!

-See you tomorrow.

-Jas?

-Doctor Haskey? Your feedback form please?

-What?

Oh! It must've slipped my mind.

-I'll try and remember tomorrow.

-Oh, no, no, no.

Mr Bellamy will be collecting these forms in exactly 25 minutes.

I need it now.

Do you have any idea of what kind of a day I've had, Mrs Tembe?

I have not had a great day either,

but I have managed to complete all six of my forms.

This is a complete and utter waste of my time!

Will you please fill in your form?!

TELEPHONE RINGS

The Mill Health Centre here.

'Mrs Tembe? It's Barbara Land.'

I hope you don't mind,

but I've pencilled you in for a meeting in church tomorrow night?

We're organising a family fun day for the Bank Holiday.

I am afraid I will not be coming back to the church.

'What? But I thought...'

I said I would think about it.

But what about Reverend Clement?

'You yourself pointed out I have made him miserable.'

It would be completely selfish of me to come back.

I would only make a very bad situation even worse.

But we're your family, Mrs Tembe.

'Mrs Land, I know you mean well,'

but I have made my decision.

And it is final.

FIRE ALARM GOES OFF

I want sex. You want sex. The situation is absurd.

Then you will just have to get a grip.

Feedback isn't a threat.

It's an opportunity to stick the boot in.

You're offhand, unsympathetic and downright rude!

Pompous and uber-posh.

It doesn't even merit a response.

Doesn't it?

Good job one of us has got some will power.

Hey! Who said housework's no fun?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd