Freya's Friends Doctors

Miss you.

Hi.

Thought you might be here.

It's nice here.

Peaceful.

Hardly seems a year, does it?

Well, it is. It's a whole year.

And, yeah, it's lovely considering it's a cemetery.

Sorry.

It's fine.

Put the kettle down! Two glasses, poshest we've got!

Why?

Last three modules, right, 76, 68 and...

81%!

It's a mistake, isn't it?

What, so I can't get a good result now?

Yeah, you can get a good...

result, but...

You know, I was up till three in the morning last night

trying to get my head around metabolic bloody pathways,

and you were out...?

-Clubbing.

-Exactly! Like you do every night.

I'm so... I'm sorry, Dad.

HE CHUCKLES

-Is this real?

-Yeah.

-Cheers.

-Cheers!

HE SIGHS

You want to know the secret?

Hard work and dedication?

What is it?

Quack.

HE IMITATES QUACKING

HE LAUGHS

What?

You don't have to hang about all day. You've got surgery.

I took the day off.

Right.

Do you remember the time she wore that stupid octopus outfit?!

Oh, Kevin! You don't have to do this.

I don't want to sit here all day swapping Freya memories with you.

I should never have gone to the graveyard.

It's just another day, yeah?

No. Actually, it's not just another day.

So, come on...

..give me a good memory.

Nothing kinky, mind!

Have you really taken the day off?

You got anything better to do?

SHE SIGHS

OK. Erm...

What would Freya do?

She'd do something really daft.

I'm not dressing up as an octopus!

Something meaningful.

Something special.

And then she'd blog about it.

THEY CHUCKLE

Have you got your laptop?

Yeah. It's in the car.

It's the best pill I ever popped. Hands down.

You want?

Where do you get it?

Are you a dealer?!

No!

Right, you get it in bulk off the internet.

Comes in from China, labelled as fertiliser

and I just, erm, just repackage it.

Do you want in?

Cos it's getting pretty big, I could do with a partner.

This could be something different, man.

Some new chemical that no-one knows anything about.

We could make a fortune.

I'm serious! This could be...

..this could be really big.

She poured so much energy into this.

Into everything.

Hang on, what's this?

A Balloon For Lupus?

I don't remember that.

What...? A sponsored walk?

With balloons, raising money for lupus charities.

£1,000.

She didn't do it, though. Look at the date.

-She must have been planning something...

-Special.

We could do it.

Traipsing around Letherbridge with balloons?! I don't think so.

No, come on! You said it yourself.

We need to do something special, mark the moment.

COMPUTER BEEPS

COMPUTER BEEPS

Oh, give me strength!

Ohh!

COMPUTER BEEPS

Easy to say.

COMPUTER BEEPS

COMPUTER BEEPS

SHE GASPS

You evil woman!

And don't come back!

Hasn't that kettle boiled yet?! >

SHE SIGHS

Stupid troll.

COMPUTER BEEPS

SHE GASPS

SHE EXHALES SLOWLY

That puts an R in six down.

Third letter.

Barcelona.

Hello? Pay attention. Six down.

Six down? Erm...

"A lone crab, disturbed. Mediterranean port."

Nine letters.

Third letter, R.

What's the matter with you today? You're all over the place.

Actually...

It's... You're a bit old to blame the time of the month.

It's nothing.

Right. Six down. Barcelona.

This is stupid.

We're not going to raise much money if we only tell people about it now.

Well, maybe not £1,000, but that's not the point, is it?

Can you upload this onto her website?

I don't know her password.

"Sunshine."

You what?

-SINGS:

-Bring me sunshine!

"Sunshine" was her password for everything.

You got her bank account details while you're at it?

Just upload it, will you?

-We're not going to make much money.

-Do it!

-OK.

Three cheers for the walkers! Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

Oh, it's so exciting! So absolutely Freya!

You must be Mandy?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

And you're Kevin, Dr Tyler?

-Yeah.

-Marie Lockyer. "Friend of Freya."

-From the website?

-Yeah. There are dozens of us.

Not here, silly! Online. A little community.

We have members all over the world.

I have a certain pre-eminence as the only Friend

who ever actually met her. She was my doctor.

Ah, so you're registered at the surgery?

Anyway, this is such a marvellous plan of yours.

She was so concerned about lupus patients,

especially after her aunt...

You know Patti?

Oh, I know everything. Test me!

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Well, it's nice to have met you. I hope you've sponsored us.

Oh, yes.

Can I come with you?

Er, well...

Why not?

I've brought my own balloons.

Yeah, yeah. It'll be... It'll be fun.

KNOCKING AT DOOR

HE WHISTLES

Wake up! Oi! Come on.

Do you know, there's been next to no proper pharmacological evaluation about this stuff?

It doesn't even have a proper scientific name, mate.

I can't even find anything about it on the internet.

Thirsty.

I thought you might be. There you go.

Do you know anything about it?

I know I can make a fat profit on it.

No, I mean... What is it?

What happens when you pop one of these bad boys? What's it...?

What's the chemistry? What's it stimulating? What's it depressing?

-What do you care?

-It's interesting.

It's basic pharmacology.

You know, the stuff I was trying to learn last night.

Oh, yeah! Metabolic bloody pathways.

Yeah, but that was all text book stuff.

This, my friend, is the real deal.

The application of knowledge.

You know, we could be the first people ever

to actually look at this stuff, work out what it can do.

I mean, look at what it did for your powers of concentration!

She was a revelation to me.

I mean, I knew what feminism was, in theory.

I just never really...

Well... I never thought it applied to me.

And she made it fun.

That sounds like Freya.

She used to call me her "Secret Sister"!

Made me feel special.

Yeah, she was good at that.

Hello!

Um, are you Freya's friends?

ALL: Yes.

I saw the new blog post.

I, erm...

I don't have money for lupus, but...

They are apple biscuits. From Lithuania.

They give you energy.

That's, erm, that's really lovely.

Yeah, they look great.

"Lithuanian Lady"?

Yes.

"Secret Sister."

Oh.

I never...

It's OK.

-You know, I never actually said how old I was.

-No.

So, we meet.

I'm so pleased.

-I'm Ruta.

-Marie.

-And I'm Mandy.

-And I'm Kevin.

So, hello!

Are you joining us?

No, no. I, erm, just...

To show support.

I don't have balloon.

Red or blue?

Are you sure?

-Definitely.

-It'd be really lovely.

Acid's got loads of therapeutic uses.

It's just, you know, they panic and then they make it illegal,

then all the research goes out the window.

And there's this amazing chemical,

but we don't know half of what it can do.

And this stuff, well...

No-one tests this kind of stuff for potential benefits

because it's just an illegal high.

It's not illegal.

Yeah, not yet.

Look, I'm not saying that quack is actually some kind of wonder drug,

I'm just saying that someone should be looking at what it can do...

Yeah! Could be the cure for Parkinson's or something!

Yeah, could be. Who knows what it could be

when no-one's got the balls to find out.

Yeah. Do you mind, mate? I'm having a dump.

Thank you.

Here they are!

Welcome, brave marchers. We offer sustenance to you all.

Oh, hello, Mrs Lockyer!

Hello, Doctor.

Lovely bow tie.

Ah. Oh, we don't seem to have enough tea.

I'll make you another one. Give it.

Karen, Heston, this is Marie and Ruta. Friends of Freya.

As were we all.

I think it's a lovely idea.

Not sure my feet agree.

Have you seen how much you've raised?

I checked while the kettle was boiling. £435!

Two hours ago it was only a tenner!

-Freya is proud.

-Uh-huh!

So, where next? Where does the trail take you?

Er, every park and bit of woodland in Letherbridge,

and then we're finishing at The Mill. Freya had the whole route mapped out.

She never did anything by halves.

-Are they, er...?

-No.

-Good for her!

-They're not!

LAUGHTER

You know, we talk about you.

What do you mean?

Freya's Friends.

When she was alive, Freya writes about you all the time.

Yeah, I remember.

And, when she dies, we all worry for you.

I'm managing.

You are not how I imagine.

I was a little bit in love with her.

So I hope you are horrible. Horrible girlfriend.

Poor Freya.

I was horrible, towards the end.

No. You are lovely.

KEVIN: Come on!

-Give them a chance.

-My feet are killing me.

I don't know why they can't just keep up.

It's not a route march!

Well, I'm not hanging around.

It was stupid idea anyway.

It was an excellent idea, raising money for an excellent cause.

I could've just written a cheque for £435 and gone back to work.

And missed out on all the fun?!

Come on, they'll catch us up soon enough.

There you are.

I printed off your route map and schedule.

You're running a bit behind, I think.

And you are?

No friend of Freya.

Does that help?

I'm the other man.

The husband whose wife chooses to lead a secret life

in which he plays no part.

In fact, a secret life in which men have no role whatsoever.

I don't know what you're doing here.

What are you, an inverse trannie?

Enough's enough.

-QUIETLY:

-I'm sorry.

What just happened?

I don't know.

Did you really think I didn't know what was going on in my own house?

It's my house, too.

I choose to forgive you.

ENGINE STARTS

Maybe we could call the police?

And what? "We saw a wife go home with her husband.

"Can you arrest them please, Officer?"

-We don't even know where they live!

-Yeah, we do. She's a patient.

-You know where she lives?

-Yeah.

-No!

We can't.

You know where he takes her, but...?

-Data protection, patient confidentiality.

-Oh, Kevin!

Well, I suppose we could...

Nurse Marquez, would you agree with me that one of the patients

from our practice is clearly showing signs of mental distress,

and, therefore, a house call might be in order?

Definitely, Dr Tyler.

Yes!

Right. We should call Mrs Tembe, then.

Methamphetamine.

-And that?

-Mmm.

Mephedrone.

Also marketed as plant fertilisers,

so I'm guessing that quack is somewhere in this territory.

Yeah, but they look the same to me.

Well, they pretty much are, except for subtle changes here,

different symmetries.

You know, all these drugs are pretty much the same,

except for where they're not.

And that's the bit that makes all the difference.

You're serious.

Aren't you?

Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it is cool.

Yeah.

Is it this weekend we're seeing the Davidsons, or next?

DOORBELL RINGS

Don't be tiresome.

Get out of my house! >

Mrs Lockyer, as a colleague of your GP, am I welcome in your home?

Yes... Yes, I suppose you...

-I'll call the police!

-Yeah?

Make sure you ask for Sergeant Hollins.

This is your secret?

This is my reality.

You were my secret.

-You and Freya.

-Don't ever mention that woman's name again!

You have problem with Freya?

Not since she died, no.

But the fat cow's still got her claws in my wife!

-And I won't have it!

-What you call her?

Fat cow! And I've got plenty of names for the likes of her.

And I have one for you.

He is "Clarissa".

Potency? Dose?

-This is stupid.

-These are all the right questions.

Yeah, but we don't have the answers!

Like, proper drugs testing, that's...

that's big labs, rats in cages,

mass spectrometers.

Yeah, and trials! Yeah, how do we even do a trial?

All this time...

Surprise!

Why didn't you kick him out?

Freya was the moderator.

She was too nice.

Always wanting to give me a second chance.

Or a third, a fourth.

And then, after she die, nobody know the password to stop Clarissa.

Right, well, I can help you with that.

All the time I was in the study, with my friends,

you were in here spying on me,

pretending to be that awful Clarissa.

The troll under your bridge.

You're pathetic.

All of you.

So easy to wind up.

Honestly, women!

What a bunch of no-hopers. And you?

Pretending to be gay, getting in with all your new feminist friends.

Disgusting.

And that Lithuanian wom...

That's you, I suppose?

HE SNIGGERS

Like reading a lesbian Mills & Boon!

KEVIN: OK, that's enough!

-MANDY:

-No. No, let him speak.

-Why?

Because every time he opens his mouth, he just digs himself deeper.

I always thought you were a decent man.

A bit dull, perhaps.

But I told myself I could have done worse.

Ruta, could I have my balloon back, please?

How much further?

Er...another three miles.

Well, we'd better get started then.

-What about...?

-What about him?

Everything OK?

Not yet. But it will be.

Charles and Clarissa deserve each other,

but I think I deserve something a bit better.

And, in the meantime,

I think you'll find you've reached your fundraising target.

A thousand pounds?!

Clarissa doesn't know it yet,

but she's just made an extremely generous donation.

Congratulations, everybody!

Yeah, well done, guys. How much did you raise?

A lot more than we expected!

Freya would've been very proud of you all.

Family hug?

In your dreams, Tyler.

Nice one, anyway.

Dr Carmichael and Dr Clay will also be making a substantial donation.

-Will we?

-I didn't agree to that.

She is only joking.

Now, I have coffee and cakes for everyone inside so come.

-Never mind!

-What is it with bi women?

Bad memories?

No. No, I've been thinking about Freya all day, on and off,

and not one bad memory.

Not really.

She was quite something.

Yeah, she was.

Mandy.

Ruta.

I enjoy today.

Oh, the thing is...

It has been fantastic.

It's just, it feels a bit weird,

and with it being the anniversary and...

I thought I was ready.

-But it just takes time, you know?

-I know.

And it's not you, it's not personal. It's...

It's just...

-I don't know.

-I know.

It's just Freya was...

She was such a big act to follow.

I know!

Freya has big shoes to fill.

And I have little feet.

And you are not ready.

You don't mind?

You are a lovely lady, Mandy.

But I like...

more meat on the bones. Freya, she has...

She has more meat.

You don't mind?

Friends?

Always.

MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES

Finn?

Finn!

Oi! Hello? I've got it.

We deal.

What?

We deal. You buy the "fertiliser" and we sell it.

I thought you weren't interested?

-No, I'm not. I don't care about the money.

-So?

So, we offer a discount on the next batch, half price,

if they answer a few questions.

It's a trial!

Finn, it's the nearest thing we're ever going to get to a trial.

It's stupid, and I don't offer discounts.

Yes, you do. And then I'll make up the difference.

-You're broke.

-I'll find it.

You're insane.

But...you'll do it?

HE INHALES

I don't lose a penny?

Guaranteed.

-Yeah, go on then.

-Yes!

Hi. Thought you might be here.

Hope you don't mind...

Souvenirs?

Yeah, I thought we could release them together. You and me.

And her.

You're as soft as they come, you, do you know?

I don't need ceremonies and rituals and stuff.

If I want to remember Freya, I just close my eyes.

SHE LAUGHS

What?

Now, that does remind me of Freya!

What? Morecambe and Wise?!

I could never remember which one was which.

It's like Ant and Dec, isn't it?

Morecambe and Wise, Ant and Dec, left and right.

Yeah, but from where I'm standing, or from where you are?

Morecambe and Wise?

No, no, no. Morecambe and Wise.

One, two, three...

# Bring me sunshine

# In your smile...

Stop it!

# Bring me laughter

# All the while

# In this world where we live

# There should be more happiness

# So much joy you can give

# To each brand-new bright tomorrow

BOTH: # Make me happy

# Through the years

# Never bring me any tears

# Let your arms be as warm

# As the sun from up above

# Bring me fun

# Bring me sunshine, bring me...

# Love. #

It's not prayers we need, Mrs Tembe, it's a better queuing system.

You dropped them pills Finn gave you?

Yeah, why?

Any good?

I suppose I do owe you some sort of apology, don't I?

-Well, that is why you came, isn't it?

-Oh...

No, we have to warn them of the dangers.

Yeah. "You'd be quackers to take quack."

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd