One Way or Another Doctors

MUSIC: "One Way Or Another" by Blondie

# One way or another

# I'm gonna find ya

# I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

# One way or another I'm gonna win ya

# I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

# One way or another I'm gonna see ya

# I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

# One day, maybe next week... #

No! Two four seasons and a pepperoni.

Hold on!

MUSIC STOPS

Two four seasons and a pepperoni. Lovely.

All right, sleepy?

I ordered your favourite, pepperoni.

Help! Help!

-Somebody please help me. Help!

-Help! Help him! Help him, please!

# One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

# I'm gonna give you the slip... #

Just confirm your name!

You think you're being clever but you're not.

Sit down, sergeant!

Sit...down.

We know you're not Steve Grahams.

We know your real name is Gus Harper and we know what you have been up to

because we've got a whole trail of evidence leading back to you.

It's water!

The sedative makes you thirsty.

Take a sip.

HE COUGHS

This week's been so exciting,

watching you watching me.

I loved the way you found my real name. Genius.

You know this is going to be a really boring party

unless you start talking.

Ask me a question.

Ask.

Did you use the Mill's records to become Steve Grahams?

You used the vaccination database to find out who was going abroad,

and then you hacked into his e-mail to see how long he was going for.

Brilliant! Well, nearly.

I knew Steve in passing.

The idiot nearly messed things up by coming back early.

I wet myself when he got arrested on my behalf.

-Such a loser.

-What's the party for?

You. We're celebrating.

I've never taken a campaign to this level before.

Never had the opportunity.

You changed all that.

Look at this.

It's my stalker playlist.

Blondie at the top, obviously.

Morrissey, "The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get", second.

Elvis Costello, "I Want You", coming in at three.

Don't look like that! It's exactly what you do!

Make lists. Obsess over the details.

Give me a track.

Come on.

Make an effort.

"Every Breath You Take" by The Police.

Our panel says, "Uh-urr!"

Didn't even make the top 20. Too obvious.

We don't want to disappoint, do we?

You ordered three pizzas.

Jas and I love a four seasons.

There is no way you will ever get her to come here.

Of course I won't, she doesn't know me yet.

She knows you though, doesn't she?

PHONE BEEPS

PHONE VIBRATES

Now we've got a party!

Cheer up! You should be pleased.

-She's starting to trust you again.

-What are you planning?

I'm planning to get to know her better.

I'm going to show her the real me.

Yeah, somehow I don't think she's quite into dungeons.

HE LAUGHS

We're so alike!

Even our sense of humour.

-Give me another song.

-We are not alike.

-Don't sulk. Give me a song.

-I am nothing like you.

-HE GASPS

-Listen.

Realise that this is the stage in the relationship

where the hostage keeps the kidnapper sweet.

OK?

So?

Radiohead. "Creep".

My number nine.

Another question, please.

Who is the real you?

I've no elevated ideas about myself, Al.

I spend too much time on the internet,

watch way too much porn.

I could eat healthier, too.

But these things are just part of me,

like they're part of you.

"Doctor" - it's just one of the hats you wear.

It isn't "you".

We're complex. Have needs, don't we?

So, my plan is to show Jas what life with me could be like.

Not what she thinks is me, "the stalker", but the real me.

Not down here in the shadows with you,

but upstairs, in the light, in the world.

Tricia Jonas? Sergeant Rob Hollins. Thanks for coming in.

We have a no smoking policy, actually.

Sue me. Where's the idiot that's ruined my afternoon?

Interview room one. If you could just sign in, please.

I was in a one-to-one training session that cost me £60 an hour.

You can be damn sure I'll be tacking that onto my bill,

particularly if it's Steve "pain-in-my-butt" Grahams.

We went to school together.

He was a moron then and some people don't change. Let's go.

You said "before".

Have you done this more than once?

Lots of times.

To lots of women.

None made me feel like Jas, though.

How did you feel when you first saw her?

Did she fill you with a warm glow?

No. It wasn't like that.

Yes, it was. I know. I've dreamt those dreams.

Being alone with beautiful, unreachable, untouchable Jas.

My heart missed a beat when she first entered the letting agency.

I knew she was the one.

It's always been a useful part of my campaigns.

Bold, confident women looking for safe, secure places to live.

What do you do to them?

Nothing you haven't.

I watch, take little mementoes.

Alice was my girl of the month until Jas walked in.

You should have heard the chatter on the police radio

when she reported her goldfish stolen!

They thought she was mental.

Tell me about the CCTV.

You installed it just before Jas moved in, right?

This is my favourite part.

Don't you just love how the geeks are claiming the world?

Steve Grahams.

Are you sure?

-Do I look like I'd waste my breath saying things I don't intend?

-No.

Well, then. I need to talk to my client.

You're good, aren't you?

I think so.

I really admired how you posted on her social network site.

Yeah. I liked that too!

Although, hands up, I got a bit carried away with the suicide post.

I was angry. It happens sometimes.

Like when I posted those topless shots.

What did you think of those?

I thought the quality was excellent.

No. What did you feel seeing Jas naked?

I wish I could have seen more.

See? We're the same.

Confession - I was jealous of you.

-Me?

-Yeah!

You were doing everything that I was,

but you were working with her as well.

Drinking tea, taking biscuits from the same tin.

I could have killed you!

I'm glad you didn't, Gus!

You've made this so much fun.

-How do you mean?

-You made me up my game.

If it wasn't for our competition, our "race for Jas",

I'd never have taken things this far.

Thank you.

Well, you've clearly won.

Have to wait and see, won't we?

My client is happy to confirm he's Steve Grahams and not Gus Harper.

You have wasted so much of our time!

Talk.

Two days ago, my client left Cambodia with an amount of dope

in his shoe which can be found at his house on top of his wardrobe.

Yesterday he developed an embarrassing itch,

probably the clap, which is why he booked the appointment at the Mill.

When you arrested him, he wrongly assumed that you knew

he was an international drug smuggler and that you were going to

try and trick him into a confession, hence his "no comment" policy.

My client would like to make it clear

he had no intention of disrupting the course of justice

and therefore would like to ask for leniency.

He has also asked me to ask you if he can be spared the death penalty.

What?

I've watched that show

where the girl got done for drug smuggling in Cambodia.

It wasn't fair. Her friend asked her to do it.

-And then they killed her.

-Like I said, he's a moron.

-Trish!

-Shut up.

So, apart from the minor drugs misdemeanour

and wasting police time, I think we're done here, aren't we?

What's going on? We were getting on so well.

Nobody likes a sore loser.

-Says the sore loser.

-What do you mean?

You're so afraid of losing Jas,

you built a cage in the back of your van.

What are you going to do? Feed her like your goldfish?

Drop food through the bars into her mouth?

The cage is back-up.

Planning. A box to tick. The stuff you do every day.

That's you, that's not me.

I would never do anything like that to Jas.

-Why? Because you love her?

-Yes.

I love her, I love her so much

I would just walk away and let her live her life without me.

-You're a fool, then.

-Yeah, and you're a loser!

-Stop it!

You're a loser and no matter what you do, you will never have her!

-I said stop it!

-Never!

-SHUT UP!

-DOORBELL RINGS

MUFFLED SHOUTING

Al?

Tell your client by the time we're finished with the drug charges,

there'll be nothing "minor" about them!

I hear you. Steve Grahams sitting in your cell is not the problem.

Gus Harper not sitting in your cell is.

HE HUMS A TUNE

Wouldn't want you to miss anything.

Jas isn't answering her mobile, and she's not at the Mill.

She's popped out but didn't say where.

Send a car round to Dr Khella's house now.

-Rob...

-Yeah, yeah, I'll keep trying.

HE GROANS

PHONE RINGS

CORK POPS

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Put it in the ice bucket.

I'm so happy that you're here.

'I've managed to find out the new address of where Gus Harper's living.

'I'll e-mail the address to you at the station.'

Find that e-mail, get me that address.

We'll want back up. Rob, you're driving.

I've dreamt of this for so long.

It's not so bad, is it?

You can talk. I won't bite.

Just, um...

nervous, that's all.

Don't be, please.

I should be the nervous one.

I've got to try and show you what I'm really like.

What are you...really like?

Well, nothing like Steve Grahams!

Sorry.

Honestly...

I'm thoughtful, kind, forgiving.

In fact, I'm prepared to forgive you, Jas.

-Forgive me for what?

-Your infidelities.

You didn't know me before.

But you will.

So, what do you say? Shall we forgive and forget?

All units, we are moving in on a confirmed location.

A detached property, the old farmhouse on Hepden Road.

Suspect is Gus Harper, an IC1 male, late 30s, could be dangerous.

We'll live together, perhaps get married

and maybe one day even have kids, hey?

I realise I'm moving quickly.

But it's just I know you.

That champagne, it's not just any. It's your favourite.

You celebrated becoming a doctor with it.

See? I know.

I want you.

I want you so badly.

And if we lived together, built a life together...

..I know that you'd want me too.

-It's...a lot to take in.

-It is.

Would we live here?

You're smart!

No. This is fake. It's a rental.

We'd get somewhere just like it, though.

Wouldn't be as bland as this, though.

We'd have to have something more individual!

I'd let you choose.

Open it.

I used my life savings to buy that.

This is just a token of my feelings.

I'd give you so much more if you'd let me.

What do you say?

DOORBELL RINGS

-GLASS SHATTERS

-Argh!

# One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

# I'm gonna give you the slip

# A slip of the hip

# ..Or another, I'm gonna lose ya

# I'm gonna trick ya, I'll trick ya

# One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

# I'm gonna trick ya, trick ya, trick ya, trick ya

# One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

# I'm gonna give you the slip... #

Cut myself shaving.

SHE MOANS

MUSIC CONTINUES

There's a light switch by the door.

Look, there's a knife. Cut me loose.

That's it.

Quickly!

MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

Run.

You have to get out of here.

A bit late for that, don't you think?

ETA five minutes.

Any other units closer?

Put the knife down.

-I said put the knife down.

-Jas, it's OK. Do as he says.

-You can put the knife...

-Don't you listen to him.

This is my party.

Not his. Mine!

I'm sorry!

You shouldn't have hurt me.

Still look so beautiful.

I ordered you a four seasons. You'll be able to eat soon.

We're going on a long drive.

I always intended to leave, Al.

One way or another.

Did you really think I made a mistake posting this address online?

I don't make mistakes. I wanted you here.

No, no, no, no! No, no, no!

-SHE SCREAMS

-Don't do this!

Please. Stop! I'll come with you.

No! No!

Sorry, Al.

Looks like your pizza's going to be a bit burnt.

Pick up Alice.

The fish!

Looks like I won.

# And if I haver Then you know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you... #

I'm sorry?

HE PANTS

What did you say?

It's The Proclaimers, "I'm Gonna Be".

It's my number one.

# But I would walk 500 miles

# And I would walk 500 more

BOTH: # Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles

# To fall down at your door. #

-That's genius.

-Yeah, it is.

Now, Gus.

Say goodbye to Alice.

GLASS SHATTERS

They're definitely here. That's Al's car and that's Jas'.

You two, round the back. You two, stay by the gate.

You can put the gun down now, Jas.

Jas?

Jas, please.

Gus Harper, this is the police. We know you're in here.

We need you to show yourself immediately.

Look. The police are here. It's over.

Jas, please, can't we just go home?

He threw me down the stairs.

He was going to kill you.

-He was going to take me, and he was...

-Stop!

Gus, we know you're down there.

You have 30 seconds to come up.

Jas, this isn't you.

This is him. He is nothing.

And you are everything.

You are kind.

You are intelligent and you are beautiful.

Jas, please.

# When I go out I know who I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

# When I get drunk

# I know who I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

# And if I haver I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

# I would walk 500 miles

# And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be that man who walks a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door

# When I'm working I know who I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you

# And when the money comes in for the work I do

# I'll pass almost every penny on to you... #

See! I told you? I knew it was negative.

You know, if you hadn't stopped me, I'd have pulled the trigger.

Letherbridge Fitness Corps is looking for members to swell their ranks.

-Fancy joining?

-Running, scrambling under nets kind of thing?

-Yes.

-No.

His car had broken down, so I offered him a cup of tea.

-Did he stay long?

-I can't remember.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd