Wrong Rooms Doctors

David...we're not going on an expedition.

What? I'm allowed two pieces of hand luggage!

Is that everything?

I think so.

Money, tickets, passport...

We haven't got time to go back if you've forgotten something.

-Have you got your iPod?

-Yes.

We should get some sun cream at the airport.

Please tell me you've locked the front door?

Damn it! I knew I'd forgotten something.

I'm kidding! It's locked.

Hey.

Joe had a nightmare.

It took me AGES to get him back down.

Why didn't you wake me up?

There was no point in us both having a sleepless night, was there?

(Not that I slept much.)

Where did he get those bruises, Daniel?

It's not the child minder - I have gone over and over it!

(I don't know.)

There must be some explanation.

What does that mean?

What, you really want to go through that again?

-JOE CRIES

-Now look what you've done!

No, it's all right, it's all right. Come on, it's all right.

We're all checked in.

I got an exit row seat, more legroom!

David, can we please change the subject?

Oh, come on!

Just imagine the feel of the sand underneath your feet!

Some holiday.

Don't think much of the cabin crew's new uniforms.

When this is all over we'll go on a real holiday, I promise.

Wherever you like - Bali, Maldives...

White sandy beaches to infinity.

No hospitals, no more rooms like this!

Just you and me.

PHONE RINGS Sorry.

Uh-oh! "Please, turn off all electronic devices for take off and landing."

Anyone we know?

No-one important.

Daniel?

-Aren't you going to say goodbye to Joe?

-Sure you trust me with him?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I don't think...

I'm just scared.

I know.

Do you think we should tell her the truth?

We've done nothing wrong, why give them any ammunition?

-Why is this happening?

-Come here.

We're going to get through this, OK? All right?

This is a message for Dr Clarke.

It's Fleur Rogers from Child Protection at Social Services.

I need to speak to you urgently regarding one of your patients.

Could you give me a call, please, on 0-7-7-0-0 9-1-2-9-6-9?

Thank you.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Mill Health Centre.

Hi, can I speak to the practice manager, please?

Sorry, he's not in yet. Can I ask who's calling?

No, don't worry, I'll call back later.

Hello?

Were you expecting a call?

No. Why?

No reason.

What's all this in aid of? You training for Rio?

No. I'm running to and from work this week.

It's only 40 minutes. You want to try it.

Jas, it was the worst moment of my life.

There I was with hundreds of eyes boring into me.

I could feel the sweat trickling down my neck...

and then...when I opened my mouth...

the place just erupted.

-There was pointing, laughing...

-You were that bad?

It wasn't my singing!

I'd just been to the loo

and I'd got my skirt tucked into my knickers!

And they were flesh-coloured knickers.

It looked like I was mooning the whole school!

And I've had a fear of performing in public ever since.

Maybe you could get hypnosis or something?

No, no, no. No.

When Mandy gets here, I'm just going to tell her that I can't do it.

Oh, well, here's your opportunity.

-I've been practising my magic quite a lot, actually.

-Really?

-Pulled any rabbits out of any hats?

-Not quite but I'm working on it.

-Mandy, have you got a minute?

-Hey, Mum, Mandy tells me that you're going to be

doing a little song at the talent contest.

I really appreciate that. It means a lot.

You wanted me?

Erm...no, no. No.

Is she all right?

Same old faces. Some new ones.

What is the hold up?

Do you need to shoot off?

No, no, it's fine.

Mrs Tembe! Hello!

What literary treasures do you have on your trolley this morning?

-Mr Muller, Miss Haig, how are you both?

-We're fine, thanks.

I haven't seen you in a while. I was beginning to think you weren't volunteering any more.

Well, I try to do as many shifts as I can

but sometimes there are just not enough days in the week.

Tell me about it!

-Helen has a big new exhibition in Manchester.

-David!

It's not finalised yet.

Well, from what I have seen of your work, Miss Haig,

I'm sure it will be a great success.

She won't show me any of the pictures.

She won't even tell me what the subject is.

Sounds very intriguing!

If you'd all like to come through.

Looks like they're ready for us, at last.

Looks like their first time.

Can you believe that was us a year ago?

Think I'll go and get a coffee.

Helen...I've never taken it for granted, you know, you being here.

I know.

You don't have to stay.

They'll do all the usual tests, it'll probably take hours.

It's OK. I won't be long.

-Is everything all right?

-Fine, thanks.

I've got a delivery for you, Mrs T.

That's one thing about having cancer -

I've never read so many books in my life.

I meant with...Miss Haig?

You don't miss a trick, do you?

Something's not right but she won't tell me what.

We're not fighting, we're happy.

It's probably the exhibition.

Well, she does look very tired.

She's got a big deadline and she's lumbered with me all the time...

but not for much longer, now that I'm on the mend.

-Well, that is good news!

-Yeah. Everything'll be fine, I'm sure.

It's got a mind of its own. May I?

-There's a knack to it.

-Thank you very much.

That's when you know you've been here too often, isn't it?

-Maybe I should volunteer too?

-You already do.

Yes.

I suppose so.

-PHONE RINGS

-So, when does your exhibition open?

Two weeks on Friday - that's if it happens.

Sounds like a lot of hard work.

I know, I'm over my deadline.

I'm supposed to have presented all the photos to the photo gallery owner by now.

Well, if you need to nip out and do some work,

I can always keep Mr Muller company.

You don't mind, Mrs Tembe?

Of course not. We have our book group.

Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

Miss Haig had to pop out for a few hours, just to do some work.

Oh, right. Good.

I can sit with you, if you like.

You don't need to babysit me. I've got plenty to keep me occupied.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Well, then I will nip out and get myself some lunch.

-Now, can I get you anything?

-No, thank you. See you later.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Sorry. Mad morning.

No, no, I haven't forgotten.

No, just on my way now.

See you there!

One salad Nicoise and a chicken wrap, please.

Thanks.

Are you sure you don't want a proper drink?

We can always go to the pub.

No, thanks. I need to keep a clear head.

-You've been very difficult to get hold of lately.

-Sorry.

Long hours grafting at the studio I hope?

Yeah.

You are ready for this, aren't you?

I need to see a return on my investment, Helen.

-I've yet to see a single photograph.

-Just a few more days.

We open in a couple of weeks.

I'm still collating everything.

I'll give you a preview later, if you like.

Now, can we please talk about something other than work?

With pleasure.

Excuse me?

Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

The surgery's closed until four.

Yes, I was hoping to speak to the practice manager?

Did you call earlier?

I did, yes. Sorry if I was a bit brusque.

I've got a big caseload at the moment.

-I'm Fleur Rogers, from Social Services.

-Oh.

Howard, somebody to see you.

-Hi.

-Hello. I'm Fleur Rogers, Social Services.

-Could I speak to you, please, in private?

-Sure. Come this way.

-What's wrong, Helen?

-Can we just go, please?

Thank you for seeing me at such short notice.

Is this concerning a patient?

Actually, I wanted to ask about two members of your staff.

Dr Carmichael and Dr Granger.

Oh, I see.

Do you know them well?

Well enough. We're partners together in the practice.

Can I ask what this is concerning?

-So you know them primarily as work colleagues?

-That's right.

Forgive me if this sounds like an odd question,

but how would you rate them as doctors?

They're both excellent GPs.

Great. Thank you.

And with regards to them being partners in the surgery,

does that add a great deal to their workload as GPs?

That depends.

Well, let's say worst-case scenario.

Potentially, does being a partner entail a lot of extra hours...

more paperwork...

a lot of extra pressure maybe?

Well, the extra hours, yes.

But neither of them have ever shied away from that.

They're both very committed to the practice.

Max.

What?

Can you just wait until I've taken my coat off?

I was going to wait till later but...this is for you.

It's vintage...

cost me an arm and a leg.

You don't like it?

I thought you liked old things - like me, for example?

It's beautiful.

Like you.

May I?

Now I really do feel like your mistress.

Well, you are.

-Who was that woman earlier, outside the cafe?

-No-one.

Look, can we just have sex?

If that's what you want, yeah.

Have you got a condom?

What is wrong with you?

I've never seen you so uptight.

How's your brother, is he OK?

You are allowed to mention the C word, Helen. The cancer.

What now?

There's something I have to do. I'm sorry.

The photos for the exhibition are in that locker. I won't be long.

I definitely think we should have a Vic and Bob bit

where I hit you over the head with various objects.

Oh, yeah, thanks(!)

I thought you were at The Mill today?

Nope, I'm on lunch, we're practising.

Oh, what for?

Carnegie Hall(!)

For the talent show. We're doing a comedy skit.

I thought it was just solo acts.

No.

-Oh, well, thanks very much(!)

-Huh?

Well...I could have linked in with you two.

Er, I don't really think that would work.

Oh, I see. Et tu, Brute!

Well, actually, I think, what she means is you're not funny enough.

-I thought you were going to sing anyway?

-Not on my own I'm not.

-Well, you could always put a group together.

-Yeah? Who with?

Mrs T can sing and Heston says she's got this gospel thing going on.

Really?

Mrs Tembe. Please?

I have absolutely NOTHING to say to you.

What you saw earlier, it wasn't what it seemed.

I only offered to keep Mr Muller company

because I thought you needed to work,

not that you needed to go behind his back.

I'm sorry but, please, let me explain.

You cannot explain your way out of kissing another man!

You won't say anything to David, will you?

He is planning an anniversary holiday for you both.

Are you aware of that?

He talks about little else.

Then at least have the decency to be honest with him!

And did he mention which anniversary we'll be celebrating, Mrs Tembe?

Our second.

We'd only been together five months when David was diagnosed.

So, you see this hasn't exactly been a picnic for me either.

Excuse me? Ms Hollins, isn't it?

-Call me Karen.

-I hope I'm not interrupting?

No, no. What can I do for you?

Can I ask how well you know Dr Carmichael and Dr Granger?

-Very well, but they're not here at the minute.

-Oh, no, that's OK.

Look, I've got a conference call now

but if I pop back in half an hour, would you be free to talk?

-Yeah, sure.

-Thanks.

I was going to leave him.

I had the whole speech prepared.

How we'd rushed into things...

how I knew we weren't right for each other...

..then he was diagnosed.

30 years old and he's got bowel cancer.

I didn't have the heart.

I care about David a lot, Mrs Tembe, but I'm not in love with him.

-That does not justify seeing another man.

-It's easy for you to say.

Perpetuating a lie makes it worse for everyone...believe me.

What about this other man?

He thinks David's my brother.

In some ways it's not that far from the truth.

So you are lying to them both...and yourself.

Oh, we're not having a relationship. Max is married anyway.

What am I going to do?

Maybe you should start by telling Mr Muller the truth?

Mandy! About the talent contest.

Look, Emma, I know you don't want to do it so why don't you just say so?

No, no, no. It's not that, I've had an idea.

"The Surgical Supremes."

Me and Karen as backing singers and Mrs T as Diana Ross.

Mrs Tembe's Simon Cowell. She can't judge and perform.

You be Diana!

-I don't think so.

-Oh, come on. It's not Stars In Their Eyes!

"Make the song your own," like Simon Cowell says

and anyway, The Supremes songs are dead easy to sing.

# Set me free why dontcha, babe?

# Get out my life why dontcha, babe?

# Ooh-ooh-ooh. #

-What?

-That was really good.

-You think?

-Yes! Especially acapella.

Mandy?

Helen. Why the hell have you kept all this locked up in the closet like a guilty secret?

It's your best work! This is about David I presume?

It's all the places we never expected to see together -

consultation offices, hospital wards, operating theatres...

Wrong Rooms, that's what we should call it!

This is really going to resonate with people. It's going to be huge!

Max. I can't show them.

Why?

Because David's not my brother, he's my boyfriend.

I lied to you.

So?

It's not like we were going to get a joint mortgage, darling.

It was just sex. Very good sex, I might add.

'Sex and death, eh? What a combination.

'Besides, that's an even better story -

-'a dying lover.'

-He's not dying!

Well, I'm glad to hear it.

We can give Joe Public a happy ending.

Cue tears for the final scene.

'I can't turn David's life into a commodity.'

But you already have, darling...and it's brilliant.

I won't show them.

Well, then you can kiss goodbye to our little arrangement

and I can make it very difficult for you to find another gallery.

So you're friends with both doctors outside of work?

Well, we're not best mates or anything but...

So you've met their son, Joe?

-Yeah, I do a bit of baby-sitting for him now and then.

-Recently?

Yeah, recently. Why?

Oh, I'm just trying to paint a picture of them both.

How would you describe their parenting skills?

They're great parents.

So you've never observed them having to discipline Joe for any reason?

No. No. He's very well behaved.

I mean, I always think that boys are easier than girls. Have you got kids?

Mrs Hollins, have you ever known Dr Granger to be violent towards his son?

No!

No! Daniel loves Joe to bits.

I mean, they both do. Why would he? I mean, it's...

So, she wouldn't say what it was about but they never do, do they?

No. Thanks for letting me know.

Zara...

Have you ever wondered what would have happened

if you had not been diagnosed?

Yeah...but you can only play with the cards you're dealt.

Have you ever thought of asking Miss Haig the same question?

Ask me what?

We were just talking about you.

-About what?

-I...I was just saying that the last year must have been very difficult for both of you.

Do you mean this isn't how you imagined spending your late 20s?

Changing your boyfriend's colostomy bag?

Am I missing something? There's a surprise!

Do you have to make a joke out of everything?! It's not funny, David.

What isn't?

-I can't emphasise enough what lovely people they are, what great parents.

-Yes, you said.

Thank you for your time, Mrs Hollins.

Why didn't you say something if you didn't want to be with me?

-It's not that simple.

-Why not?

She was trying to spare your feelings.

Why? Because I've got cancer? That's the only reason you stayed with me?!

I stayed because I care about you.

-I wanted to see you get better.

-But not because you love me?

I don't believe this.

I've...I've imagined a life with you, Helen,

after the treatment's over.

It was one of the only things that kept me going.

I've been seeing someone else.

-Who?

-Does it matter?

-It matters to me!

-It's no-one you know.

-Since when?

Six months. I'm sorry.

I want my keys.

-I can drive you home...

-My keys!

I didn't plan any of this.

David, everything that's happened this past year. I just...

And you think I did?

I'm sorry you had to hear all that, Mrs Tembe.

You have done the right thing.

Doesn't make it feel any better though, does it?

Thanks very much for calling me back, Dr Clarke.

Exactly how can I help, Ms Rogers?

It's about one of your patients, Daniel Granger?

Would it be possible to speak with you about him in person,

preferably today?

On what basis?

Well, some concerns have been raised regarding the wellbeing of his son Joe

and I need your professional evaluation of Mr Granger's state of mind.

Ms Rogers, Mr Granger is a patient.

Anything we've discussed in our sessions is confidential.

I'm sure I don't need to remind you that child protection

takes precedence over all other forms of confidentiality.

I will need the information, Dr Clarke.

Well, I'm sorry but you'll have to put your request to my office in writing.

-If you feel that's really necessary?

-I do.

With respect, Dr Clarke,

slowing things down doesn't really help your patient.

OK, thank you.

What the hell is going on? Why are you here?

I'm just making routine enquiries, following up on the case.

-So, basically, snooping? Digging up some dirt?

-Zara!

We have done nothing wrong.

We are just two ordinary parents muddling through,

-trying to make things work. We don't deserve this!

-OK. Leave it.

No, Daniel! We work hard, we look after our son.

What about those people siring kids all over the place,

trying to get extra benefits? Why aren't you persecuting them?!

I treat all families the same, regardless of their income or their background.

Ms Rogers, I thought that we answered all your questions yesterday?

Yes, you did and I very much appreciate your help

but, as I also mentioned yesterday,

-there are still some unanswered questions regarding Joe's welfare.

-Well, just back off!

-All right, leave it.

-I mean it! BACK OFF!

-Leave it.

Dr Clay, a vagrant is blocking the entrance.

Who are you calling a vagrant?

If she shows her face here again, I will not be responsible.

How else am I going to get my hands on 500 quid?

Not by thieving off me!

I cannot believe we're having this conversation!

I'm trying to help you here.

When you had Joe in your grasp, what did you feel?

Blind rage.

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