Electric Dreams Doctors

'Daniel, would you like more wine?'

'Thank you, Jimmi. That's very kind.'

'Emma, this casserole is delicious. How do you get the pork so pink?'

'The secret is I don't cook it. I just soak it.'

'Really? Isn't that dangerous, uncooked pork?

'What do you think, Al?'

'Niamh, we're doctors. We're indestructible.'

KNOCK ON DOOR

Sorry, short notice, but I can't make tonight. What?

Daniel should never have accepted. We can't get a baby-sitter at such short notice. They're gold dust.

Al should never have accepted on my behalf. There's no way I'm going to a dinner party with Daniel and Zara.

-But...

-Next time, we'd love to.

-Sorry.

KNOCK ON DOOR What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Thanks.

-Um, is Niamh still here?

-I think so.

-Right.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Don't look! They're for tonight!

Presents?

-Maybe. Not telling.

-You really shouldn't have bothered.

Nonsense. My colleagues are giving up their evening to spend time with me.

-How great is that?

-Very?

-Yes!

I don't know if I'd do it for some newbie I didn't know.

It means a lot - I'm so excited.

It's going to be brilliant.

Brilliant. Well, I'll leave you to it.

I need your help.

The dinner party's going to be a disaster.

Your cooking's that bad, is it?

Jimmi!

Jimmi!

-Yes?

-I need you to come to Emma's dinner party.

-No.

-Yes?

-No. Forget about it.

-What? Are you just going to stand there?

-Yep.

Come on! Can't Emma fight her own battles?

I'm not doing this for Emma.

I'm doing this for our delightful new doctor who's joined us all the way from Ireland.

And who incidentally knows nothing of our sordid pasts.

If I can make peace with Jas, you can break bread with Daniel.

Just sit at the other end of the table. You haven't even got to talk to the man.

Fine. I'll just spend the rest of the day blocking your doorway.

All right. Final offer.

I'll buy all the beer, and Emma will do one week's worth of your Happy Heart clinic.

-Daniel? Could I have a quick word?

-Sure.

I really want you and Zara to come to dinner.

-Not for me. For Niamh.

-We can't. We haven't got a baby-sitter.

Bring Joe with you. He can sleep in a travel cot.

Please? Is it because Jimmi's coming?

No, it's got nothing to do with Jimmi.

It's true. I'm a grown man.

If you're a grown man, then you'll come for the new girl's sake.

Oh, I see. It's a Zara thing. I understand.

-Maybe you shouldn't.

-Wait. I make my own decisions.

-You do?

-Thank you, yes, I do.

Great. See you at eight o'clock then.

-Fine.

-Bye-bye.

Emma, success. Dinner party is a go.

But it has cost you one Happy Heart clinic.

That I can do!

-Do you need a lift?

-What?

-I'm going home.

I thought you might want to go home and get changed before your hot date.

I wanted to talk to you about that. You know your dinner party?

-I was wondering if I could...

-A little birdie tells me you're having

a bit of a do at your place tonight. I happen to be available.

That little birdie should have also told you it's a doctors-only affair

to welcome Niamh.

Having you there is hardly going to make her feel relaxed, is it?

I fancied a pizza anyway.

Hm! Sorry. You were saying?

Doesn't matter. And I don't need a lift.

You have a lovely night.

-You too. Night, Mrs Tembe.

-Good night.

It won't ring itself.

PHONE RINGS

Hang on. I'm just going to pull over.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-Are you OK?

-'Yeah.'

And?

I texted you.

-I know.

-You didn't get back.

'That's because I've been busy.'

I took time off to go and visit Immie.

Oh.

Well, I was wondering, if it's not too late,

and you're not too tired, if you'd still like to go on our date.

No. I don't want to go on a date with you.

Oh, and your daughter's fine, by the way. Bye.

I think we can do better than this.

Ow!

Ow, ah!

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, hang on. Hang on!

Hi! Good to see you! Hello, Joe. How are you?

-He's really well. How you doing?

-Good, thanks.

-You can put him in the sitting room if you want.

-What have you done?

I had a wrestling match with a lemon. The lemon won.

-Let me have a look.

-It's fine, really.

-It won't take a second. Come on.

-Oh, right. Oh.

-Are you sure?

-Where are your plasters?

-Just through here.

Um...but...

OK. In we go.

-Would you like some more juice?

-No, thanks.

Cut the peppers a little thinner.

That's it.

Thanks for inviting me.

Cooking for friends and family is one of my greatest pleasures.

Do you come from a big family? Sorry.

I don't know why I don't know that.

Because you have never asked.

And yes, I do.

I have two brothers, and five nieces and nephews.

Garlic, two cloves. Thin.

Why haven't you got any children?

I think we are going to need something a little stronger than juice.

Looks like a car crash. They were beautiful before.

Really?

Get stuffed. I'm just a little out of practice, that's all.

Clearly.

-Did Joe go down all right?

-Yes.

Sorry, sweetheart. I should have helped.

Don't apologise. Emma had cut her finger. How is it?

All sorted?

-Yes, I'll live.

-Good.

DOORBELL RINGS Excuse me.

-What's up?

-I didn't even want to come in the first place.

By the way, you're driving.

Lovely.

-Hello.

-Good evening.

-Hi.

-What's in the box?

-Grain, not grape. Shall I...?

-Yes, through the kitchen.

Thanks for coming, Jimmi.

-Pleasure. Especially since you're covering Happy Heart for two weeks.

-I said one!

That's not what Al said.

I said one.

Wine stains your teeth, exorbitantly overpriced,

bolsters up this ridiculous middle-class desire to appear knowledgeable at dinner parties.

"This red goes extremely well with duck pate."

Beer goes well with everything and it tastes awesome.

-Hey!

-Hi.

-You going to have one?

Um, yeah.

Though just for the record, I do like wine as well.

I'm not that fussy.

Right, well, it's just Niamh to come.

Well, I hope she does. After all, this do is for her!

-Maybe she's heard what you're serving up!

-Excuse me?

DOORBELL RINGS

-Olive?

-No, thanks.

Great, you made it!

I know. Taxi driver couldn't tell his derriere from his elbow.

What a house! It's beautiful.

-Is that Chris?

-Uh-huh.

-What a hottie!

Hello, everyone! Lovely to see you all.

These are for later. You look lovely.

-What are you having?

-Ale. Want one?

Don't be ridiculous. Life's too short. Champagne all the way!

Actually, it's cava. Different-size bubbles but it does the same damage!

So what have I missed? I'm know I'm late but it's my parents' fault.

You don't suffer from Catholic guilt in my family,

you suffer from Catholic hair! It takes some controlling. It's even worse than Al's.

I don't know how he leaves the house in the morning.

Wahey!

He was gay?

That must have been so hard.

Yes, it was.

Is that why you got divorced?

Not straightaway.

I'm ashamed to say I was not very nice.

I was hurting. I wanted children.

I'm sorry.

It is what it is.

You expect the void when those around you are having children.

But it is an unexpected loss when they have grandchildren.

A second blow.

Enough. I invited you round here to cheer you up.

I have something to show you. Another of my pleasures.

-How many?

-Five.

Your poor mother!

She was a Catholic in the country - what else was she going to do?

But five boys. That's a tall order.

I learnt a lot. I don't like to boast

but there's not many a man can get out of my headlock. It's killer.

-Demonstrate on Jimmi.

-All right.

-Get off.

-Coward!

-You have a go, if you're so brave.

-I don't have to. I believe her.

-You're all cowards.

-There are no real men left.

-You're forgetting Howard.

-It came out my nose.

-Nice.

Sorry, but what is it with that man?

I mean, I've never met anyone so uptight in my life.

I know he's ex-Army, but still...

Could you imagine going at it with him?

"Right, assume the position. One, two. One, two."

Actually, I take it back. He's got to be a virgin.

I bet he's never had a relationship in his life.

I mean, who would ever get involved with that?

Barp!

What?

No!

It was a long time ago!

No wonder he was upset about hot-tub man!

Excuse me?

Nothing. Ignore her.

I don't think we will.

I am sorry. Was Gareth a secret?

Silly me.

Gareth the hot-tub man! Tell all.

-No.

-Go on! It's great.

-She got picked up in this club last week...

-You didn't?

All right, I did, yes. And we had a great time.

-It was very enjoyable.

-Very enjoyable!

Then he came to the Mill the next day and tried to sell me a hot tub!

-He didn't!

-He did. He didn't even offer me a discount.

That is a lot of records.

There is a lot of music in the world.

Why didn't you show me when I lived here?

Teenagers are a menace.

I was not letting you anywhere near these.

What changed?

You grew up.

-Can I? Oh, yes.

-Come.

Ooh!

Fontella Bass,

Rufus Thomas, the Staple Sisters.

Who are these people? Haven't you got anything modern?

Looks like I spoke too soon.

You still have a little growing up to do.

Oh, I love Cliff.

-Jimmi?

-No, thanks. I'm driving.

Daniel, do you want to delve into the dark world of real ale and be a man?

I'm driving too.

Come on! It's a special night!

But tomorrow's Friday morning.

And Joe's asleep in the living room now, but at 6am...

He's here? Why didn't you say?

-Can I see him?

-Best not. He might wake up.

And then the party will definitely be over.

Spoilsports. Have you pictures, at least?

I might have a couple.

Oh, he's gorgeous!

And there he is in the garden last week.

Look at the little wellies!

He's handsome, like his father.

Are there any more little Joes in the offing?

I have a daughter from a previous relationship.

But as for us, probably not.

Come on! You've enviable genes, put them to use.

-Have an army of Joes!

-We can't.

-Oh, you should!

-No, we can't have any more.

I can't.

-I'm so sorry.

-You weren't to know. It's not a problem.

We're over it.

-He's beautiful.

-Thank you.

-Right, plates, everybody.

-Lovely.

Delicious.

This one is called Rogue Imp.

So sorry! Oh, I'm such a klutz!

No, it's OK! A tea towel?

Yes, tea towel.

I'm always dropping things.

Make sure you don't drop that bad boy.

Tasty, yeah?

-Jimmi, since you decided to wear your last drink, do you want another one?

-No, thank you.

Go on, have a Rogue Imp.

No, just a sec.

Put your tea towel down.

You're looking a bit OCD there,

unless you enjoy rubbing yourself in public!

Excuse me.

What?

# Everybody get on your feet

# You make me nervous when you're in your seat

# Take off your shoes and tap your feet

# We're doin' a dance that can't be beat

# We're barefootin'

# We're barefootin'... #

-Perhaps slow down.

-Perhaps mind your own.

It's going really well.

Shut up. Go and get the casserole.

Casserole?

Fancy casserole. It's slow-braised pork with apples and cider.

I have a big mouth.

I come from a family of big mouths. I can't help it.

And I'm really sorry if I upset anyone.

Hey, you didn't upset me.

Like I'd risk that.

What's that supposed to mean?

Everyone knows you're a psycho stalker.

I think I might love you. I'm going to stalk you.

-Sorry...

-Can you stop saying sorry, Donoghue?

All of us, we've all got issues.

Let's take, for example, let's take Jimmi and Daniel.

No. Let's not. Let's take me.

Actually, I'm not a divorcee, I'm a widow.

My husband topped himself a little over a year ago now.

Casserole?

Casserole - or raw pork in goo.

Someone forgot to turn the oven on.

No!

Classy.

Right. That's it.

The evening is officially over.

Thank you for coming, for making the effort, but you now may leave,

in the safe knowledge that an evening like this will never happen again.

Stop!

Sincerity is at the heart of all soul music.

Whether it is a good time, or a bad time,

it has to come from somewhere true...

..somewhere that makes the listener feel.

You love it.

I do. I do.

Because my parents loved it.

Children believe that they blaze their own trail,

but often it is one their parents have set out for them.

I was lucky.

My parents put me on a path with Aretha, Otis, Marvin.

I don't know what I gave mine.

That is all right.

No. It's not. I don't want to know.

I don't want to be responsible for grown children.

I can't cope with myself, never mind them.

Nobody is going anywhere! Please, sit down.

Now, Emma. Tell me you have a pudding, or did you manage to screw that up as well?

Yes, I do. I have a creme brulee in the fridge.

I've even bought one of those mini blowtorch thingies for the sugar.

A mini blowtorch thingy! Brilliant!

Now how does everyone feel about forgetting about main course,

dive straight into creme brulee, with a mini blowtorch thingy,

followed by Irish coffees, followed by presents?

-I'm hungry now.

-Hands up.

Is the right answer.

Do not be hard on yourself.

Responsibility can be overwhelming

but actually it binds us together.

Your relationship with Imogen and Jack will come, in time.

I don't have time.

Why not?

Rob. He didn't want to see me tonight because of them.

But I can't fake loving them, can I?

The problem with the Irish coffee is that it ruins two perfectly good drinks.

-Shove it up your...

-But...these aren't too bad.

Yeah. I'll have another one. I'll get a taxi.

Any more for any more?

I'll have one. This is fun.

Surgery tomorrow with a hangover.

-Emma?

-You promised presents!

Ah, yeah!

I thought that you were all lovely people but now I realise

I've walked into a vipers' nest.

Brought up with brothers,

my childhood was not particularly girlie.

No Barbie dolls for me.

Get the violin out.

So I spent a lot of my time creating

my own version of toys.

And these are really silly

but they're you.

-I look very serious.

-Look at my hair!

That's the best thing I've ever seen.

My head's square.

You look like James Bond.

The name's Granger. Daniel Granger.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Your head's not square.

-We can have a miniature dinner party!

-With small people!

Where everyone has to say something nice to someone else!

You cannot love them if you do not know them.

It is like loving a stranger.

Perhaps Sergeant Hollins just wants to know

-that you are thinking about them.

-I have been thinking about them.

I've been wondering about Immie and how she got on without her purse.

I always used to lose mine. I'd drive my mum crazy.

Call him. Let him know.

Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

Shall we listen to some more music?

Yeah, but can we listen to MY soul music, please?

Of course.

See, Rob was going to take me to see my favourite film tonight.

In it is one of the best songs ever.

If I was going to give my kids anything, it would be this.

Music: "Together In Electric Dreams" by Giorgio Moroder and Phil Oakey

Daniel, I have always admired your ability to wear a suit.

That's very kind.

Emma, though this is the worst dinner party I have ever been to,

please invite me to the next.

Of course.

Al, despite your penchant for beer and curry,

you really are a very kind and beautiful person.

Can I have a go in your hot tub?

Stop it. Nice things, Al!

Zara. I have always been overwhelmed by your generous nature.

Better.

Jimmi?

Yes, Niamh.

Although we've just met, I want you to know I think you smell delicious.

Niamh?

Yes, Daniel.

Although WE'VE only just met,

I think you should know that you're, um...nuts.

Hullaballoo, hullaballoo, hullaballoo!

Thank you. It's been great.

No - thank you. Getting this lot here - that's you.

I don't know.

You must have meant something.

You said you were overwhelmed by her generosity.

It was the first thing that popped into my little cardboard head.

-She is generous.

-Yes. But she has many other great qualities.

Her shoes. I like her shoes.

Thanks, Jimmi.

It's been a great night. Let it go.

You see? Generous.

What does that mean?

-Daniel, he's winding you up. Don't let him.

-Why not?

Because you are too good at it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying I'm manipulative?

Sister, take a look in the mirror!

-What do you mean?

-Coffee, anyone?

I mean...you are the most ungenerous person that I have ever met.

You didn't take even one second to listen to my side of the story

with that whole business with Jas - a woman I was incidentally in the deepest of deep love with.

No, no, no - you called me insignificant, you called me pathetic...you called me a slug.

I was going on the information at hand, you ridiculous man.

-Get over it.

-You were hardly innocent of all the charges.

You were lurking around outside her house. It was creepy.

Creepy? Creepy is sleeping with your best mate's wife and then saying,

"It was just an accident." What happened, did you slip?

That's in the past, mate.

Just because you've got no backbone.

Let me demonstrate.

"Ooh! Daniel, you do look rather marvellous in your suit."

What?! Tell him what you really think.

Tell him you'll never trust him or his shiny suits again.

-Give it back.

-No.

Now.

My generous other half was right - you are a slug.

No, do not decapitate me.

He pulled my head off.

-Right!

-Don't be ridiculous!

You are the most childish man I have ever met! That's the most ridiculous thing you have ever done!

# We'll always be together

# However far it seems

# We'll always be together

# Together in electric dreams

# We'll always be together

# However far it seems

# We'll always be together

# Together in electric dreams

# We'll always be together

# However far it seems

# We'll always be together Together in electric dreams. #

-Have you got a problem?

-I've got an appointment to see your parents at their home.

-But nobody's answering.

-You think something's happened?

-Mrs Jackman.

Miss. It's Miss.

They did it...they actually did it.

I don't need an old, stuck-up doctor bint

telling me how to look after my baby.