Snowbabies Doctors

# I would dig a thousand holes

# To lay next to you

# I would dig a thousand more If I needed to

# I look around the grave

# For an escape route of old routines

# There doesn't seem to be Any other way

# Cos I've started falling apart

# I'm not savouring life

# I've forgotten how good it could it be

# To feel alive... #

-What's that?

-Oh, it's nothing. Just a gas bill.

I'll sort it out later.

Coffee's ready, come on.

MUSIC: "5 Minutes" by Tinie Tempah

-What?

-You look beautiful today.

Papering over the cracks. Amazing what expensive make-up can do.

Shall I drop you at the shop?

Thought you were trying for a full week?

Oh, the girls are stock-taking, I'm not needed till one.

A lift to the Campus would be great, though, if you're going that way?

Ivan?

The Campus surgery?

-I'm going to see Mandy.

-Why?

You know why!

Ruby. It's too soon!

It's time.

IVAN SIGHS

Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely person.

And so patient, you know.

Some weeks...

..I just sit and cry, can't even get a word out of her.

Nothing. Nothing makes the least bit of difference.

We did talk about how counselling... it's not a quick fix.

Maybe I'm just expecting too much. Sorry.

No, don't you apologise.

To think, I used to...

I used to moan about never having a spare minute.

I hate myself for that now!

Ruby, you were a busy working mum.

Always rushing around, harassed.

Running the shop.

Late to the school gate, phone going 24/7.

What was it all for?

Hey! Your Lucas, he was...

he was a proper live wire!

The Mill and Campus were always on Code Red

whenever he came in for his checks!

We all adored him. He brightened up ANY day!

No-one can really understand what you're going through.

It's got to get easier, hasn't it?

I know this is a cliche, but time is a great healer.

For now, stick with the bereavement counselling.

You might not even realise something has helped until ages after.

And it's a special space, just for you and for Ivan.

How's he doing?

Time's what I haven't got, actually.

That's why I'm here.

Rubella status, blood pressure, blood sugar, the works.

That's what I need from you today.

OK. You know I'm here to help. But...

I'm going to get pregnant again... as soon as possible.

You're not an easy girl to find, Jade.

Couldn't have looked hard enough. Look at the size of me!

So, what's up, Doc?

And, before you start, I haven't had a fag since last time I saw you.

Well done, you! That's great.

Yeah, sick! Saved myself four quid already!

I was thinking more of the health benefits for your baby?

That one again?

-Thought we rinsed that one yesterday?

-Well, I...

What?!

Talia says she's seen Nicole Scherzinger wearing them same shoes.

I don't think so.

No? Probably more like Sharon Osbourne!

Hardly! These are Carlos Carlotta!

Classic Italian court with a sexy twist.

So, show us your swag, then, Doc. Walk the walk.

You've got to be joking!

You're safe enough here. No kerb crawlers till after dark.

LAUGHTER

Not bad.

'Bout time someone showed you lot how it's done.

These lot reckon clean trainers are proper classy round here.

Well, you know what?

There are plenty more where these came from.

Louboutin? Manolo Blahnik?

Maybe.

So, go on, spill.

Spill?

Well, you haven't trotted in here like a tourist

to bang on about some designer shoes.

How astute you are, Jade.

Go on, then! Hashtag, haven't got all day.

I wanted to talk to you about breastfeeding.

JADE GASPS

I am not saying that pregnancy is impossible.

-It's just, given your age...

-I know, I know.

45 is not the ideal time to be starting a family.

But don't forget. I've got my precious snowbabies, Mandy!

Your what?

Lucas was an IVF baby!

And we've still got two frozen embryos stored at the clinic!

Ah! And those are your snowbabies?

It's like it's meant to be!

I'm going to eat better, sleep better,

get myself up to maximum health and then go for it!

Why not?

Ruby, you know the reason you're not sleeping or eating well

is because you've just lost your son?

Everything is still so raw.

Think I need you to tell me that?

I'm not saying don't do it,

just don't rush into any big decisions.

Well, it's like you said.

Five months ago, I was a mum.

A working mum.

I took so much for granted.

And now... Well...

I'm nothing.

What does Ivan think about the snowbabies? Is he in favour?

You'd have to ask him that!

If you can get a word out of him.

Please, Mandy. I need this.

Look, Jade, hear me out. Think about the health benefits.

There are over 400 nutrients in breast milk

-which aren't present in formula.

-You sound like my old science teacher.

Drony McDronison.

Don't you want to give your baby the best start in life?

Help protect it from ear infections, chest infections? Constipation?

This is long.

Obesity. Type two diabetes in later life. Eczema.

Listen here. Getting your fun bags out for a feed

is something that doesn't happen round here.

You might as well stick a flashing light on your head saying

"Weirdo! Weirdo! Weirdo!"

If more people did it, then it would become normal.

Come on, Jade, I didn't have you down as a wuss.

I'm not an idiot either.

Like any boy would ever come near me again!

You don't know that!

It's just not what baps are for, OK?

-But...

-But! You need to back off!

-Your bates pushing me into it!

-OK,

you're absolutely right. It's about individual choice.

-Told you, didn't I?

-It's not about my opinion,

it's about your body and your baby.

Finally you're talking sense! You off, then?

I am. Hashtag haven't got all day.

Keep up with the non-smoking, I'll see you at the baby clinic.

Might have to check my diary.

Hey, you! Thought you'd gone in to the office?

-George said I could work from home.

-What, again?

I brought you some lunch. Didn't know if you'd have time.

You need to eat. Car's outside. Then I'll drop you at the shop.

I did it! I talked to Mandy about getting pregnant!

And?

Our precious snowbabies! I don't believe it!

How could we have abandoned them all these years

-in that cold and lonely clinic?

-Darling, you know why.

I know, I'm leaping ahead here,

but after the test results come back, it could just take days!

So, did Mandy actually say it would be OK?

I'll tell you what. Let's ring the clinic right now!

I'm sure I can find the number online.

Hey, hold on, hold on!

They won't be able to tell you anything on the phone.

All the paperwork is at home in the file.

We'll need our reference number and other stuff.

Let's sort it tonight, OK?

It's going to be all right, Ivan. I know it is.

We can start again.

Come on, we'd best get going.

BABY CRIES

ZARA SIGHS

KAREN TUTS

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Rob?

What is payment protection anyway?

-She doesn't know what she's saying.

-It's very early days, Ivan.

We're just talking about a few routine tests,

just to check Ruby is fit and healthy.

Routine to you, maybe! But I saw her face!

I'm sorry if you're upset. But Ruby just seemed so sure.

You have to talk to her again. You can stop all this.

I know it might seem impossible right now,

but sometimes parents find having another baby does help...

after a bereavement.

It's not something to be rushed into, I am not saying that,

if you think it's too soon.

And it's not a replacement. Nothing could EVER replace Lucas.

But a new baby...

it can be a healing thing.

Maybe, from Ruby's point of view, it's something to look forward to,

a bit of hope.

One way of looking at it is that you and Ruby are lucky.

At least you have your snowbabies.

You can take as much time as you need.

-Was that Ivan Slade? Is he OK?

-No, not really. Not at all, actually.

Am I missing something there, Jimmi?

What, with Ivan?

Other than him losing his son to meningitis a few months ago?

Now Ruby wants to try for another baby,

and he is really not taking it well.

Ruby Slade? Pregnant?

Is that a problem?

Ruby developed severe heart problems last time she gave birth.

Didn't you see it in the records?

Mand, Mrs Alderney says her appointment was ten minutes ago!

PHONE RINGS

I enjoyed our chat the other day... about Botswana.

So did I.

You made it sound so great, I looked a few things up.

Geography is one of my things.

It certainly is a most beautiful country.

It's much bigger than I thought.

Botswana is the same size as France,

but its population is only twice the size of Birmingham!

But, unlike Birmingham, rain is extremely scarce in Botswana.

And very precious. In fact, the country's motto is "Pula".

-Pula?

-It means rain.

Perhaps we should get ourselves a nice slice of cake?

LAUGHTER

No offence, Doc, but you're starting to get a bit desperate.

Yes, I am back, give me five minutes?

How about five words? My body and my baby.

I wanted to say, I DO see where you're coming from.

Sure you do.

People around here don't want to breastfeed,

-because boys don't like it.

-Finally!

Since when do you let boys decide what you can and can't do?

As if!

See what you did there. But I'm on it.

OK, well, you don't like science or statistics

-And you want to have a choice.

-You said it.

But how can you make a choice if you haven't got the information?

So this is my plan. A one-off event at the community centre.

The community centre! YOLO!

I don't even know what that means. No lectures, no pressure.

-I promise.

-You done?

No, also there would be freebies!

-Freebies?

-All you have to do is sit and listen to what I have to say.

So, do you think you could get your mates to come along?

All right, well, I suppose there's not much better to do round here.

So, I'll be in touch?

Not so fast. That's a big ask.

All right. I'll bring a selection.

Got any Jimmy Choos?

LAUGHTER

Ivan! Are you all right?

What are you doing in here?

-Come and sit down, love, please.

-Why? What's going on?

Please.

First off, I love you to bits.

I'd never do anything to hurt you, right?

Ivan, you're scaring me! Calling the shop like that!

I'm sorry.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Leave it!

And the African elephants... Is it true Botswana has the most?

I am afraid, when it comes to counting elephants,

we have reached the limit of my knowledge.

Oh! Sorry!

I do remember the chickens, though.

Running about the yard.

When an honoured guest came, I had to catch one

so that my father could prepare Mofago.

What's that?

It's a boiled chicken and chilli dish.

Sounds interesting.

Those chickens run so fast!

HE CHUCKLES

Not many chickens where I grew up.

Except with chips!

And I can't imagine my dad cooking anything.

I did have a pet gerbil once.

It escaped and ended up under the floorboards.

You could hear it scrabbling about, but you couldn't see it.

Mrs Tembe?

Why did you do it?

KNOCK AT DOOR

All right, all right.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hiya, Ivan.

Sorry, I really need to talk to Ruby, is she in?

Now's not a good time.

It'll take a few minutes. It's important.

Ruby! I should have checked about your heart condition.

-Oh! That's OK!

-No, I owe you both an apology.

-Apology accepted.

-Can we have a chat?

Yeah. All right.

Ruby!

-Ruby?

-'I am writing to inform that the agreed ten year storage limit

'has now been reached.

'Unless we hear back immediately with your instructions...'

They're going to destroy the snowbabies!

I don't believe it!

Doesn't this prove that it's meant to be!

I told you! It's time.

But we've got to move fast!

Ivan!

Ruby...

I know there's other stuff to sort out.

But can't we start with the snowbabies?

I'm going to call the clinic. There must be a telephone number.

-Oh!

-It's all right. I've got you.

I can explain.

Four months ago?

No, I don't... I can't...

You seem like such a kind and thoughtful man!

But how can we be friends if I do not understand the other side of you?

Rape victims do talk in public about their feelings.

But we do not hear the perpetrators talk about why they did it.

So, this is your chance to explain.

It was just after Lucas, the first letter arrived.

Life was...

Well, it didn't feel real.

Nothing felt real.

Except you, Ruby.

I didn't want you worried. By any decisions.

I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted to protect you.

That's all I ever wanted.

So, I just...

-I just...

-I'll tell you what you just did.

You...

-just did nothing!

-No! It wasn't like that!

You sat back

and you let them be destroyed!

-Our precious snowbabies!

-Ruby, please...

Lucas is gone!

And now I have nothing! How could you?!

Apparently, as well as elephants, Botswana has the largest population

of meerkats, as well. I love meerkats, don't you?

I cannot understand it.

It's the way that they stick together. Like a family.

How can anyone make such a choice?

They watch for danger and then they warn each other

when it's approaching.

HE GASPS

That's right, stick up for him.

No, no, I am not defending Ivan.

But I read your notes in detail,

which is why I came straight over to see you.

-Another pregnancy would be...

-It's not impossible!

Acute aortic dissection is a life or death emergency!

One minute you were holding Lucas,

the next, doctors swarming everywhere.

But that was nine years ago!

They make new medical advances all the time!

You know that!

I saw Dr Clay before I came over and he confirmed...

I don't want to hear this!

The thought of losing you...

Sometimes.

Most of the time.

I feel like I'm lost already.

I'm all alone in this never-ending black tunnel.

You're not alone!

Having a baby was my only way out!

Ruby...

even without your heart problems,

at age 45, the chances of you having an IVF baby

would be less than 10%.

Same as Lucas, then?

My own, sweet little miracle.

Don't do this.

What do you care?!

At least while the snowbabies were safe, there was a chance!

Now, I have nothing!

I will never forgive you!

Ivan?

Would you please leave?

Don't leave it like this.

Not after everything you two have been through together.

After what I put her through, you mean. Go on, say it!

-You made a mistake.

-Didn't I just?!

You're a grieving father who was trying to protect someone he loves.

-That's a new one.

-What, that grief messes with your mind?

-No, that dads grieve.

-Of course they do.

Not on the outside, they don't.

They stay strong, they cope.

And the inside?

What about the inside, Ivan?

You don't want to know.

Try me.

COUGHING

TOILET FLUSHES

Ruby?

Ivan's got something he needs to say to you.

I...

No, I can't.

She's listening, Ivan.

Go on.

It's OK.

I wanted to be strong for you.

You're Lucas' mum, and you were so close.

The day he died, it was like your light went out.

Just darkness.

I only wanted to make everything OK.

I thought that was my job.

You can never make everything OK.

Not now!

-Not ever!

-I go through the motions.

Go to work.

Read the paper, laugh at people's jokes, watch TV.

Keep breathing. Pretend everything is normal. But I...

You what?

I have darkness, too.

Terrible darkness.

But you always seem so together?

Some days I have to force myself to leave the house.

I try to fight it, but it's so strong.

It's like a bad dream.

A bad dream that starts over every time you wake up.

Only worse.

If Ivan's made mistakes,

it's because he's grieving.

I got it all wrong, but it's no excuse,

not for what I did.

I'm so sorry.

I...

You are supposed to be my friend.

I don't need another counsellor!

And I certainly don't need another judge!

But of course I am your friend!

Then why are you stirring everything up like this?

What sort of a friend does something like that?

One who values honesty.

Well, then you be honest with me!

Because you seriously expect me to believe

that you would ask your friends questions like this?

Well, yes!

Yes, I would.

# I started falling apart I'm not savouring life

# Take the pieces and build them skywards

# I've forgotten how good it could be to feel alive

# Take the pieces and build them skywards

# Take the pieces and build them skywards

# And take the pieces and build them skywards

# And take the pieces and build them up to the sky... #

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Let's call it what it is.

It's an emotional mugging!

I really do not know what you mean.

Attacking me like that, here, with God looking straight at me!

I really did not intend to attack you.

If this is the way you treat your friends,

I'm surprised you have any left!

In fact, let's forget the whole thing.

The last thing I want to be is your friend!

Where are we going?

-Can't we just take it day by day?

-No, no, no, Karen. I can't.

Not any more, Karen, it's like living on a knife edge.

What would be your next step in such a case?

-You don't know what to do.

-How dare you speak to me like that?!

Your behaviour is completely inappropriate!

If you don't ask, you don't get!

I am perfectly capable of mentoring a colleague,

and if you don't trust me, then the shortcoming's all yours, Howard!