Two Roads Doctors

'My compass told a different course

'When I thought my wind set fair

'Before me lay a coral shore

'The fine, red dust of a treeless plain

'A time in dreams Once the dream came

'But I faltered, landlocked Caught upon the quay

'A voice in the landward wind Warning of the sea

'I watched the split horizon Cleft by the pitching sun

'Beckoned by the weaving light Along its golden seam

'I who was the dreamer Had become afraid to dream.'

-Australia?!

-Yeah. I decided last night.

I didn't even know you were thinking about leaving.

I just need to move on, I need a fresh start.

Australia? I mean, it's so far away, why there?

Well, it's got a great climate and a great quality of life.

My mate works out there and he's been going onto me for years

about how amazing it is.

And my nan's there.

-I didn't know that.

-Yeah, yeah, my mum's mum.

She lives in Melbourne.

Somewhere to stay, you know, while I'm looking for a job.

-Do you think you'll find one?

-Well, apparently they want nurses.

But do you know what?

I want to see the Flinders Ranges, I want to go to the Blue Mountains,

Do you know what I mean? Do a bit of trekking around Tasmania.

-Wow. You've really made your mind up, haven't you?

-Yeah.

I'm going to miss you.

-You might be the only one, mate.

-What do you mean?

Just the way I've been acting lately,

I reckon everyone'll want to see the back of me.

-Give over.

-Well, we'll see, come Friday.

You're going on Friday?

Yeah. Well, if Howard lets me out of my contract.

It's highly unusual for the catheter to break the artery wall.

-What I think you'll find...

-It takes a surgeon of genius

to make good the damage!

Tom!

I think I preferred "Mr Vaesey".

Or the even more illustrious "Professor Vaesey".

So it was you that carried out the procedure on Mr Johnson here?

A double by-pass.

Got the call they'd bust this fellow's artery,

so looked at the possibility of just a repair,

thought I might as well sort his plumbing out, while I was at it,

and maybe stop him from bleeding to death!

So, what brings you north of Watford?

Well, I'm a GP at a local practice.

What, poking for piles? Prescribing for eczema?

I also have a private clinic, and have some high-end patients.

Loaded ladies after the Granger bedside manner.

I'm with someone, actually, her name's Zara. Very happy.

She must have quite something to pin you down.

PHONE RINGS

Technology.

The only reason I operate instead of a robot

is because I'm slightly cheaper and tell better jokes.

-Coffee?

-Well, I...

Oh, come on, you're obviously skiving, treating bunions,

or something. Let's leave Mr Johnson with the comforting thought...

that his emergency bypass has at least allowed him to jump the queue!

-So, what's prompted this?

-I just fancied a change.

What, and a move to Cleethorpes wouldn't do that for you?

Well, Australia's a little bit more of a challenge.

And I just fancied seeing what was down there for me.

Well, it's your decision. I suppose, with two months to plan,

you'll have time to work out something for yourself down there.

-Actually, I was thinking about going sooner.

-When?

-Friday.

-What, this Friday?

Yeah.

What about working your notice?

Well, I've already booked my ticket.

What? We're supposed to organise ourselves around your plans?

-Well, I thought that you...

-If you go Friday,

that means we'll have to get agency staff in.

Lord knows how much and Lord knows how long for.

-You'll find a replacement.

-Yes, eventually.

No, sorry, I can't just lose a nurse at the drop of a hat.

-You're going to have to work your notice.

-Howard...

That's the way it's going to be.

Fine.

So you think I should be cooling my heels in the Dordogne?

You've had an eminent career, earned all the plaudits.

You can't be doing it for the money.

It's temporary.

Director of surgery's an old friend.

His cardiac lead developed a post midlife crisis,

-and headed for Mexico.

-Leo Brunner?

Yeah. Knew him as a houseman.

Even then, he made me ponder the thin line between genius and lunacy.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh, sorry.

Yes?

Yes, I was with a patient.

Yeah, I know there's a pressure of time.

You have to understand...

I will.

I...I will call you.

Sorry. So, we were talking about the eccentric Mr Brunner.

PHONE RINGS

Look...

Ah! Sally! Sorry, yes.

No, no, it's fine, yes. The procedure went well.

The patient's GP seems pleased.

Yeah, obviously a very attentive one to rock up to his bedside.

Actually, the generous practitioner is somebody we've met before.

One Daniel Granger.

Yes. Yes, I know. Yeah, he's not looking so bad.

Apparently, there's a lady keeping him in check.

Just the one.

Are you free for dinner tonight?

I can't, I'm looking after my son.

Zara's got a night out with the girls.

Nope, domestic duties.

-Lunch? She's dying to see you.

-I'll check.

He's passing it upstairs to management.

Did I say, when I mentioned his appearance,

there's a large female thumbprint on his forehead?

Chris hasn't mentioned anything about leaving to me.

I'm sure he has his reasons.

All right, well, where's our intrepid adventurer off to, then?

-Salford?

-Australia.

-Wow.

He's hardly ever left Birmingham, what's he going to be doing?

Living, working, experiencing new things, I suppose.

Bit old to be on a gap year, isn't he?

I think it's more serious than that, mate.

He's definitely made his mind up.

You know, it's going to be really weird not having him around.

Not having who around?

Chris, he's...he's going to Australia.

-When?

-Friday, if he can.

-Friday?

-When did all this happen?

He said he decided last night.

-It's a brave move.

-Yeah, but he was brilliant when I was poorly.

And the house is going to be like a morgue, if he's not around.

Stories of my departure might be premature.

-'Blackjack?'

-Yeah, that's what his students and colleagues called him.

-Because he was a gambler?

-Baccarat, mainly - chemin de fer.

-'And this was your mentor?'

-Yeah, medically.

Although, he did take me under his wing in other ways, too.

-Daniel...

-'What?'

Look, we're not going to slip off down to the casino, OK?

It's going to be lunch with him and his wife, Sally. She's really nice.

Nice enough to skip having lunch with me?

Who's going out tonight with their girlfriends?

I would actually far rather be having dinner with you.

Ah. Me too. I'll see you.

And I got such a good deal on the flight.

If Howard doesn't let me go, I'll lose it.

Well, Friday is pretty short notice.

Yeah, but I bet he could if he really wanted to.

It's just Howard being Howard.

Who's Bellamy offended this time?

No-one, he's just stopping Chris from going.

-Going where?

-I've decided to leave the practice, Zara.

-What?

-He's abandoning us and going to Australia.

-When?

-Well, I wanted to go on Friday.

How does that square with your contractual obligations?

That's something I'm trying to work through with Howard.

Well, we'll be sorry to lose you.

You're an excellent nurse.

Here he is, as handsome as ever.

Even handsomer, if possible.

That's in the eye of the beholder.

Mine is particularly discerning.

You look as lovely as ever.

Well, there have been some changes.

Nurse Reid has had his difficult moments.

Yeah, but how does legging it to Australia help?

It sounds rather like he's trying to find his place in the world.

He is a young man and it is the prerogative of the young

to seize their chances.

Yeah, but Howard isn't going to let him go and he wants to go on Friday.

Yeah, well, that is very short notice.

And Nurse Reid does have a contract.

So I can appreciate Mr Bellamy's position.

But he can also, sometimes, be a stickler for the rules.

If this is what Nurse Reid wants to do,

trying to stop him now can only make him angry and resentful,

and that would be disruptive for everyone.

Problem?

Zara must be very special.

Has a good grip on him, you mean?

A hold, certainly, of the best kind.

-And now you've also got Joe.

-And a daughter - Isobel.

Fatherhood changes you.

Even in some ways that aren't specifically financial.

He's very proud of the children.

Yeah, one's a brickie

and the other reads books to the illiterate.

Lizzie's an architect and Sarah is a lecturer in English.

-Well, it could've been worse - they could have been doctors.

-Yes.

It was a fall.

-You don't have to.

-Seven years ago. Sailing.

I'd love to say I was up in the rigging and we hit a monster wave,

but it was as we left a restaurant, in the harbour.

Lost my footing on the steps, fell, broke my back on some railings.

I was in a bad way.

It was Tom who basically kept me alive until the ambulance came.

Must have been difficult adjusting.

Sometimes. Maybe more so for Tom.

He's often been angry...

on my behalf.

And you've never been angry?

At the limitations.

Just being able to take your keys and leave the house.

Giving up teaching was the hardest thing.

I'm sure you can still...

I tried. Maybe it was a little too soon.

Maybe I just had to move on.

But I do miss that light in their eyes

when children grasp the meaning of something.

-Gain a new piece of the world.

-Yes.

House claret, I'm afraid.

And I'm afraid that I'm driving.

Although it does look marvellous.

Life's too short to drink bad wine.

"If you drink bad wine, your life will be shorter."

So, you were actually listening to me!

THEY CHUCKLE

What's she doing here?

Well, she appears to be breast-feeding.

Yes, I know that! Has she got an appointment?

But you did say she could come back any time she wanted.

I was just trying to be inclusive.

Well, perhaps she's trying to make a statement.

-Ah...

-You're going to have to get rid of them.

-Me?

-Mrs Tembe, I have always been impressed with

your coolness under pressure and your natural authority.

I'm sure you'll think of something.

Ready?

Bellamy versus breasts!

ALL: Bellamy versus breasts! Bellamy versus breasts!

Granger was the young man about town.

Us old dogs merely followed and marvelled.

I don't believe that for a minute.

It's true. I'd never played a hand of baccarat till I met him.

I think that's the other way around.

OK, I did actually teach you the difference in baccarat

between chemin de fer and punto banco.

And what's the difference?

Chemin de fer is a game of strategy,

played by those with guile and patience.

Punto banco is a game of chance played by those addicted to chance.

-Still play?

-No.

Heavens, family life claimed your spirit?

-I haven't played for quite a while.

-Perhaps he found other diversions.

What, like golf?

I'm actually quite good at that.

-A good walk not spoiled, but ruined!

-No...

Don't tell me you've morphed into suburban man?

-Would that be so bad?

-A tragedy!

PHONE RINGS

Ah.

-So, pudding?

-In the fridge. I can go.

No, no, no. I'm adept at transporting extra calories!

THEY CHANT: Bellamy versus breasts!

Ladies, please. You are causing a considerable disturbance!

Civil disturbance.

Civil as in peaceful, disturbance as in interrupting the status quo.

What status quo?

The male hegemony and anti-woman agenda that exists at this practice.

-There is no such thing.

-Howard Bellamy.

Mr Bellamy is not anti-woman.

He's a patriarchalist of the highest order.

-How?

-The very fact that you refer to him as MISTER Bellamy!

That is his title.

Reinforcing structures of power

while using other forms of suppression,

such as demonising the process of mother-child nurturing!

You are causing our patients discomfort.

Maybe we are encouraging them to make an informed choice.

Do they want to be part of an inclusive

-or a discriminatory practice?

-Mr...

The practice manager has engaged with inclusivity.

PR. Well, we'll see how effective that is when the press arrive.

-Press?

-We've called them.

We want people to know that attitudes

like Howard Bellamy's have no place in modern society.

THEY CHANT: Bellamy versus breasts!

It's funny, I never found that that helped.

-Sorry, helped?

-I know there's a problem, Tom.

-What problem?

-Who are they?

-What do you mean?

-The people you owe money to?

-I don't!

-Look, I got myself into trouble.

-Gambling?

Yeah. I owed money to somebody. Considerable sums.

-What were they, criminals?

-What I'm trying to say is...

-I'm not in hock to criminals.

-I understand.

I know the self-delusion, the denial. It just takes someone to...

-I'm not in debt!

-GLASS SHATTERS

-Are you all right?

-Let me have a look at that.

I seem to remember I'm the surgeon.

PHONE BEEPS

THEY CHANT: Bellamy versus breasts!

BABY CRIES

Have you seen reception? It looks like Greenham Common!

Mrs Tembe's dealing with it.

As they're name-checking you, why don't you do something?

A volatile situation can sometimes be better defused

by a female presence. In the police force...

Don't go all Special Constabulary on me.

The last time breasts were used like that in anger

was when Boadicea took on the Romans.

Look, it's annoying that they're doing this,

-but surely they do have a point.

-What?

It's very difficult, breast-feeding in public.

People will come up and tell you it's disgusting,

they tell you it's immoral.

They tell you it should be behind closed doors.

-Well, that's not me.

-No, but they don't know that.

So perhaps an apology might be the way forward.

-Ah, Chris.

-Howard, you've made your...

-You can go.

-What?

You can leave on Friday.

-Why the change?

-I've had a look at the figures.

There's a bit left in the budget to cover for any agency staff.

That's brilliant. Thank you.

Erm... There's one little thing.

-Don't tell me you've changed your mind?

-No, no, no.

I need to pick up my visa on Friday.

I mean, mate, I can work the morning...

So, not only do you want to leave, you want a half-day off as well?

Yeah, sorry.

You can be the one that tells Mandy she has to cover.

You've got to take your chances.

Grab it with both hands.

-An accident?

-Yeah. Just broken glass.

-Is he all right?

-Cut to the hand.

I offered to help but apparently, he's still the master.

What have you done?

Some over-confidence with the cake-slice.

And to think how dexterous I am with a number seven scalpel.

-Let me get you a better bandage.

-No, no, really. It's...

I'll get a new one from the box in the hall.

You have no right.

Who is H, Tom?

-No-one, really. It's...

-Who is she?

So, what made Howard change his mind?

Guess he's not all that unreasonable after all.

-In which dimension?

-THEY LAUGH

-Well, I'm pleased for you.

-Cheers, man.

I will second that.

I don't know what to say.

Say you're going to leave your last wages behind the bar at The Icon.

To be honest, I don't really want to make a fuss.

-I'd rather just pack my rucksack and head off.

-Aw!

If you're saving up to buy a didgeridoo,

-how about we pay for the party?

-No, I'm being serious.

We need your support.

The militant ladies are stepping up their protest!

A free show!

Her name is Helen. Helen Rogerson.

We met when we were students.

When she came into the lecture hall that first morning,

everything else just faded. She was luminous.

I pursued her and pursued her.

There was a lot of competition, but she said yes. Finally.

And we shared the best summer of my life.

But then she met someone else, American.

When she told me, it was...devastation.

After she finished her studies, she went off with him

back to the States.

Married.

That was the last I heard of her for years.

Then, last August I got an e-mail.

She was divorced and she was visiting relatives.

We chatted, e-mail and phone, and there was a spark.

We met up. She was staying at a hotel in Cheshire and, well...

..it was everything I thought it would be.

It was real, Daniel. It is real!

We met up several times before she went back to America.

-She wants me to join her there.

-Are you going to go?

THEY CHANT: Bellamy versus breasts!

-What are we going to do?

-Chuck 'em out.

When was the last time you mixed it with militant breast-feeders?

Do not ask him that!

-OK, call the cops.

-Oh, yeah(!)

Like Rob and his mates will want to deal with this lot!

They have summoned the press.

-The publicity would be extremely negative.

-Where is Howard?

I imagine he's somewhere thinking up a strategy.

Otherwise known as "hiding".

-Ladies.

-Even your opening gambit is patronising!

Well, what would you prefer I call you?

We would prefer that you treated us with some respect.

Which is what I always endeavour.

Actually, we have thought of one way of extracting some empathy from you.

THEY LAUGH

So, man enough to wear them?

There's a teaching post in Boston. I'm short-listed.

So, you've already made your decision?

My final hand, my last chance.

At what? Destroying everything you have?

-I know there will be consequences.

-You'll lose your family.

-Not necessarily...

-You will lose them, Tom.

You said the final yes to her?

-Why are you hesitating?

-I'm not callous.

And you're not a fool either.

What if it was the woman that you loved?

I'm with the woman I love.

And I think you're lucky enough to be with the woman who loves you.

Tom?

-There wasn't a bandage in the box.

-Don't worry. I'll sort it myself.

-Has he made his decision?

-Pardon?

Helen.

Is he going to choose her over me?

My actions have been misconstrued.

-How?

-I have never been anti-breast.

When I say anti-breast, I mean...

That it's OK for breasts to be objects of male desire,

just not to be seen fulfilling their natural purpose?

I have never said that breasts were objects of male desire.

You know, obviously, they are.

-Shall we help him out?

-Absolutely not!

-Sally, it's really not my place...

-He has asked you for advice?

-Maybe not advice, but...

-Tom's always been like that -

strident, humorous,

boring details like bills and school fees falling off his back.

But he's like the rest of us when it comes to emotions -

unsure, indecisive, needing the reassurance of a second opinion.

I knew when he started mentioning her name.

I'd known there was someone, that I didn't have the whole of him.

But then there was life, work, the children.

Does Zara have the whole of you?

There was someone, once, for me.

A sweet and creative man.

I stayed with Tom.

And when I had the accident, it was Tom who saved me.

Not sure the ward sister would have approved.

As long as it heals.

-I'd better be getting back.

-It's been good to see you.

-Thank you for a superb lunch.

-Is it true that in baccarat,

you can lose everything with the final hand?

Yes, it is.

I didn't mean to banish breast-feeding

or confuse the role of the breast!

I have always been and always will hold them in high regard...

I mean, you know, regard them with great interest...

'My compass told a different course

'And the journey was long from where I came

'Mine was a landfall between two shores

'Caught by two winds adrift on the main

'But there was a destination

'And I could never be the same.

I was thinking...

we could go away.

A few days in the country.

And after?

St Phil's have offered me the job. Permanent basis.

I'm going to take it.

If you have no problem with breast-feeding,

why did you banish me to a private room?

That was for your comfort and convenience.

So, it wasn't from your own sense of patriarchal prudery?

-I'm neither patriarchal nor...

-A prude?

I don't think this is funny any more.

Do you know what? You're right. It isn't.

This is about dignity and understanding,

and I want the public to know exactly where you stand!

-Now, come on!

-FLASHBULB SOUNDS

No pictures, please.

Mrs Tembe! Mrs Tembe. Any sign of the papers?

You shouldn't be allowed to do anything.

You shouldn't be allowed anywhere near these women!

-He'll get used to it.

-Get off!

HE GROANS More pain?

He's going to die, isn't he? Like Mum.

Now he's going, there's nothing to hold me back.

It's a bit drastic, selling your house, isn't it?