Three's a Crowd Doctors

BABY CRIES ON MONITOR

Hey, hey... Come on, you're OK. Shhhh.

Loads of leads today.

What is it about a Bank Holiday that gets everyone thinking

they need a new kitchen?

Staring at the same walls for three whole days, maybe.

Don't mind me.

Been so lovely having you home.

Courtney's due at the surgery today.

Yeah, I know.

Weight and stuff.

I said...I know.

No way can she miss this one, right?

You know how important it is?

Don't worry, love. It'll be OK.

-It's just that I need you to...

-Promise.

Now, go on.

Make the dream kitchens of Letherbridge come true.

She's bound to be more unsettled than other babies.

But sometimes I just don't know what to do.

Being there is enough.

That's what Cal says.

Rocking her, skin-on-skin contact, massage, keeping her cool.

These are all things that people say help.

Sorry. When you say it like that...

Courtney's four months now. The worst is definitely over.

For all of you.

How are you, Theresa?

Oh, I'm... I'm fine.

You look tired. Is everything OK at home?

Bad night last night. You know how it is.

You're doing really well. But it's important to share the load.

You are not alone in this.

Theresa?

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Where's my little princess?

-What are you doing here?

-I moved my 11 o'clock.

I wanted to hear for myself how well she's doing.

Aren't you, beautiful? You're doing great.

Isn't she?

Yeah. Courtney is putting on the right amount of weight

and all her test results are good.

Who's a clever girl?

Thanks, Mandy. See you next time, then.

If there's anything else...?

Well...

come on, then, my two favourite girls.

Remember, I'm here to help, yeah?

Until today, I must confess I was a stranger to the Kardashians.

Heston Carter?

Mr Carter?

-It's Dr Carter, actually...

-This way, please.

Why are you really here?

Eh?

Look, just say it - you don't trust me,

-because I might just...

-Come on, love, not all that again.

I told you, I was around Letherbridge so I thought...

You'd check up on me.

I don't blame you.

I THOUGHT we could all go together for a nice walk in the park.

Check out that new cafe.

Get one of them hairball teas you somehow seem to like.

HERBAL tea, you idiot.

It's been a tough time. You deserve a break.

I'm sorry if I got it all wrong.

Let's go to the park.

Well, we're both busy professionals and time is of the essence.

I put a few things together for you.

Angiogram, Positron Emission Tomography, Evoked Potentials...

Usual procedure is to start with something a little simpler, Mr...

-Doctor.

-Or can I call you Heston?

You see, neurology is a process of elimination.

And there's a lot to eliminate.

How about a lumbar puncture? Or a check for Babinski's sign?

Would you walk over there for me, please?

Walk over there?

Humour me. Just a few steps.

Excellent. Now, if you'd like to stand on one leg, please?

Show me your teeth.

Beautifully symmetrical.

Any history of illicit drug use?

-No.

-Any history of sexually transmitted infection?

No.

Sleep disturbance?

Is this relevant?

Left or right handed?

I also like my steak "a point",

my favourite aria is Voi Che Sapete

from Le Nozze di Figaro.

Any other totally inconsequential boxes you'd like to tick,

or can we get on with the diagnosis?

Any history of irritability?

Hang on.

Really?

Good. I think we're ready to move on.

We'll start with some basic bloods. See where we are.

Aw, look at her there.

Worth the ten times round the pond, was it?

I am exhausted!

Shh. Don't wake her.

You better get back or you'll be working till midnight again.

I'll try to get back early. I promise.

We'll be fine.

You did really well today.

Go on, get out from under my feet.

Mr Carter?

At last.

Have a seat.

Really?

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Theresa Craven for you.

-Yes, of course, put her through.

Hi? Theresa? It's Mandy.

BABY CRIES

Theresa? Are you there? Hello?

-CRYING CONTINUES

-Is everything all right?

PHONE CALL ENDS

Em...

Theresa Craven... Craven...

PHONE DIALS

PHONE RINGS

I have excellent veins. What appears to be the problem?

I don't wish to offend, but the most lackadaisical of leeches

would have obtained more blood from me in the last few minutes than you have.

At the risk of sounding wildly extravagant,

why not try the other arm? Ouch!

You're running late. Tough day at the coalface?

Um, you could say that.

You haven't had the pleasure of seeing Patient Plop yet, have you?

He just provided me with a comprehensive written

description of seven days' worth of bowel movements.

Complete with pictures.

Pictures?

Not illustrations. Photographs.

It brings a whole new meaning to the term selfie.

I'm sorry. Am I putting you off your lunch?

It's such a shame because I could've shown you the photographs

-he e-mailed to me!

-No, no, no! I don't want to see that!

I don't want to see that.

Plop would make an excellent client for Oliver.

He could spend at least ten sessions stroking his chin

trying to get to the bottom of Plop's motivations.

IMPERSONATING OLIVER: So, Plop, you like to document your stool.

SHE LAUGHS

She's right here. We were just playing with some bricks. See.

You don't need to do this, Theresa.

-I'm not checking up on you.

-You've never come round before.

I got worried. Why didn't you answer your phone?

Sorry about that. I didn't hear it ring.

And I pressed the wrong speed dial.

I'm like a zombie if I don't get my sleep.

Yesterday, I tried to wash the kitchen floor with car wax.

You and Cal have got a lot on your plate.

We manage.

How's Ruth doing?

Great, thanks. Really getting stuck into her new job.

Look, sorry to have wasted your time,

but Courtney is due for a feed.

It's probably just me, but when you were at the surgery earlier,

I thought you might have something you wanted to say?

We pretty much covered everything, thanks.

OK. Well, you know where I am, if you need anything.

Bye-bye, little one. Bye-bye.

Can I be really cheeky and just use your loo before I head back?

-Yeah, of course. Upstairs, on the left.

-Thanks.

I know Oliver is a bit straight...

but he's a really nice guy.

If you say so.

He's smart, and he's really good at his job. Like you.

The two of you actually have a lot in common.

You should get to know each other better.

I'll look forward to doing that. Here you go.

You going already?

Yep. Time and turd waits for no man.

Al?

(No more Oliver...)

Yeah?

Be great to go for a few pints some time...

and have a proper catch up...

Yeah, I'd love that.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

Oh, Mandy...

..it's the best thing you could have done.

It's the hope...that's the worst. It's a killer.

I really thought she'd make a go of it this time.

She was doing so well. I certainly had no idea.

Well, no-one did.

That's how it works.

Lies, manipulation, tears, more lies...then she leaves.

Drugs are all she loves. Not her mum and dad.

Not even her own baby.

So, how long has Ruth been gone?

Five weeks.

Me and Cal were out with Courtney getting one of those door bouncers,

to see if it might calm her down...

tire her out.

So you've no idea where she might be?

What about her job?

Not a word to anyone. Not even a note.

Just packed her stuff and left.

Oh, Theresa, I'm so sorry.

I thought I was immune after all these years.

But when Courtney was born, it was like a miracle.

She was my Ruth again.

I should have known it couldn't last.

It wouldn't be enough. Nothing ever is.

Don't give up hope, eh? Not yet.

She still might come back.

-I can't do it again, Mandy.

-Oh, hey...

I wanted to call social services straightaway,

but Cal wouldn't hear of it.

He insisted we carry on as normal, not tell anyone she was gone.

He's worried Courtney will be taken away,

but I hate it, all the lying.

It's going to be all right now.

There's lots of help out there, and we'll make sure you get it.

Thank you. I can't tell you the relief.

I'm sure social services will agree that the best place for Courtney

is with her grandparents.

The Mill will put a good word in for you and Cal.

We're all there to support you.

No-one will take Courtney away.

I don't think you understand.

That's exactly what I do want.

I... I don't follow.

I want Courtney to be taken into care.

Hello? Is anybody there?

I have a rather persistent itch.

What's the protocol for scratching it?

Just say yes or no.

Yes or no?

Hello?

What's going on?

Is Courtney all right?!

She's fine, Cal.

-Well, what, then?!

-It's all over. Mandy knows everything.

-Everything?

-Now Courtney can be taken care of...

Don't even think about taking that baby away from us!

-But, Cal, love.

-She's our flesh and blood!

Yes, of course she is.

I'm just trying to get things straight.

So, what you want is...

Courtney to stay with us. Obviously.

-Right.

-So, what needs getting straight, then?

We will support you in whatever you decide,

but it has to be what you both want.

Theresa?

I...

Go on, love. Tell her.

I...

went a bit over the top earlier.

Goodness knows what you must have thought, Mandy.

But I'm over it now.

Dr Haskey?

Dr Haskey?! Did you not hear me calling you?

Yeah, I'm just about to do some important reading

of the "evaluation of the qualitative decision tree"!

Can you help me, please?

Stock taking is much more important than cutting edge research(!)

The antiseptic wipes go under the sink and the dressing on the shelf.

Afternoon surgery begins in five minutes.

-STERNLY:

-Your file box is waiting for you at reception, Dr Haskey.

Come here you.

Everything is going to be all right. We're in this together.

What if I don't want to be "in this"?

Love?

My redundancy money is sitting in the bank.

You were going to cut your hours.

We'd buy a camper van. Set off round Europe.

No plans, just see where life took us. Remember that?

-Course I do.

-That's where our life was going.

Not back into dirty nappies, sleepless nights,

chasing a toddler around, can't have a pee in peace!

Don't you remember what it's like?!

It's not for ever.

And I've been trying to do my bit, getting up in the night,

popping home whenever I can.

I know, love...

But it's only been a few weeks.

We're talking a lifetime here.

The reality of it all - not some perfect fantasy.

You've got to stop beating yourself up about Ruth.

That's not what I mean, Cal.

Oh, Cal...

You know what I think?

I've been hogging this one all to myself.

The two of you need a chance to bond. Properly, one on one.

Bond?

Stuck in this house all day.

No wonder you're both a bit grumpy.

What you need is quality time. Fresh air.

And we've already been to the park today.

I know, and didn't you have a fantastic time, my little princess?

I'll get my coat.

Right...

Get away from her!

NIAMH'S VOICE: "Al - Best sense of humour ever.

"Great real ale drinker. Nicer eyes.

"Smartarse. Cynical. Childish.

"Oliver - Smells fresh...like cut grass.

"Good listener. Super Attentive.

"Looks great in jeans.

"Al - Slightly damp? A twinge of curry.

"Clothes - beyond terrible. Questionable blue trainers!

"Stubborn, inconsiderate.

"Might be a virgin?

"Oliver - 12, Al - 4."

I'm obviously not fit to look after her!

Whoa, slow down. Let's take this step by step.

I tried to abandon her. Don't you understand?

Now you'll have to take her away!

But you didn't abandon her, did you?

Come on, Theresa...talk to me.

It's all such a mess.

You've had a rough time of things. Anyone would struggle.

I can't do it. Please call social services.

I'm not sure you really mean that.

You've already changed your mind today.

Only because Cal came home! But it's the truth.

I...don't want to look after her.

Because of Ruth?

I tried so hard to be the perfect mum.

But Ruth, she broke my heart so many times.

I mean, she's still doing it!

I must have done something wrong but I don't know what.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Is that what's worrying you?

Why can't I be Courtney's gran, not her mum?

It isn't fair!

You must think I'm a terrible person, don't you?

Oh, no. No. Of course I don't.

I think...you're exhausted, and you're stressed out,

and you're struggling to deal with a whole load of things all at once.

None of it was your choice.

So will you call social services?

Have you thought about what it really means for Courtney

to be taken into care?

Sometimes, I think I'm the only one who has!

She could have a family who love her. A future.

Adoption... Adoption is final. There's no going back.

She deserves to be happy.

But so do I.

And what about Cal? Where does he fit in?

You saw how he is. It's all so simple to him.

I don't want to hurt him.

I love him to bits.

Yeah, and he obviously loves you too.

Which is why he needs to know how you feel.

How about I call Cal now, see if he can come in?

A complete absence of communication and a basic lack of medical skills.

And the drinks machine -

I pressed the button for sparkling water

and got some green luminous gloop

that would have stripped the enamel off my teeth.

Well, I'm sorry things have taken longer than you expected.

I've been here all day.

Surely you must agree it's important to be thorough, systematic.

I see precious little evidence of any kind of system.

I just want to know what's wrong with me.

It's never easy playing doctor-turned-patient.

I'm sure I would be the worst patient in the world.

Impatient. Critical. Interfering.

It's hard not having any control over what happens to you.

Quite.

But I can't help but feel it's beneficial for us

to down our stethoscopes and walk in a patient's shoes from time to time.

See things from the other side.

What doctor would not consider that a positive experience?

The only positive thing about today is it's over.

And on that note, I'm happy to move on.

Please fast-track me my results, such as they are.

Sorry, no can do. We'll give you a call.

Cal, please. You have to listen.

Courtney is staying with us. End of.

All I want is a bit of peace. Don't you?

All our dreams...

None of that matters now. Courtney's all I care about!

And you should too! What kind of a mother are you?!

I'm not her mother! I don't want to be her mother!

OK. OK. The most important thing here is Courtney.

What's best for her.

We can be the soppiest grandparents ever, spoil her rotten.

But think about it.

Can we give her what she really needs?

Can you, you mean?

I'm sorry.

I can't do it again.

I haven't got it in me.

It won't always be easy, of course it won't.

But I know you...

Do you?

Then you know I go over and over it in my head, night after night...

And I want to keep her, of course I do...

but, deep down, I know it's not right.

Not for her, not for me.

I love her.

I don't want to end up resenting her because she took our life away.

To you, this is a new start.

But to me, it feels like the end of everything.

It's that bad?

Can you try to understand?

That's how you really feel?

Look, these are massive decisions and you're both exhausted.

How about if Courtney goes into temporary care,

give you both a bit of breathing space?

I'll just have to do it on my own.

What? What do you mean? Cal?

Is he leaving me?!

He can't. He can't!

I'm sure he just needs a bit of space.

I should never have said it like that.

What have I done?!

Cal, wait! I didn't mean it!

It's just a really bad day. I'm so sorry.

We can make it work, I know we can.

Cal, please.

Let's go home and get dinner, shall we?

Good night, Dr Haskey!

-Oliver.

-Al.

They're beautiful! Thank you.

-I've got a date.

-Well, good luck with that.

I want this to be a real, proper date.

I want me and Matilda - if that's her real name - to be like...

Whoa, whoa...

You've got as far as going on a date with her,

but you don't even know her real name?

Hail, Sir Edmund!

Err...

Hail!