Bullseye Doctors

Cheers, everyone! ALL: CHEERS!

CHEERING

That's it - pace yourself!

Oh, and you'll be on the lemonade all evening?

Oh, I'm sticking to the plan -

couple of beers and a curry with the lads.

I told you - I'm not getting married with a hangover.

-You could always come out with us.

-Yeah, like I could keep up.

What's she doing here?

She's our boss, Holly. She works here.

Sick of her sniffing round you. She's so obvious.

Maybe she's finally made her decision.

No, she'll keep you dangling. It's just a power trip.

Look, there was no other candidate near me.

That promotion is mine and she knows it.

So? Ask her straight out!

No. I'm not playing her game. I can wait.

What time are you setting out?

In about an hour.

Gives me time to go home and grab a quick shower.

Have a great time. Don't do anything I wouldn't.

Yeah, it's you I'm worried about -

these lot are a bunch of animals after a few drinks.

CHEERING

-See you at home.

-Yeah.

If you make it.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, to be honest I'm not busting to get home.

Having Mo to stay is a bit of a strain.

Really?

I feel bad for saying it, cos she's Rob's cousin and family is family,

but...it's just so open-ended.

I've got no idea how long she's going to be here...

That is awkward...

Traipsing her muddy boots through the house.

Her and Rob staying up till silly o'clock, boozing,

watching rubbish TV...

That all sounds a bit difficult.

I just feel invaded, that's all.

It might be noise, but at least it's company.

Jimmi! Jimmithy, my very bestest friend.

-No.

-At least hear me out.

Sorry, mate, I've got stuff to do tonight. Got to do the photos.

-Photos can wait. I'm talking real ale in a real pub.

-Sorry.

-Followed by...

-a real drunken stagger to the local curry house. Yes?

-Sorry, mate, another night, yeah?

HE SIGHS

Dr Emma Reid, my bestest friend...

Oh, sorry, Al, another night, maybe?

We've got a big cinema date planned. Tickets are booked.

Have a nice time.

Bunch of antisocial...

It's no problem, I've got plenty of friends...

ALL WHOOP

Girls, I've forgot my coat! I'll see you in there!

That's so sweet when you're so eager...

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

SHE GASPS

Ronnie, when did you get so old?

We're supposed to be friends, Ronald.

HE SIGHS

Yeah, whatever. Don't be surprised if I delete you from my contacts.

Everything all right?

See you at seven o'clock? If that still suits?

-Er, yeah, that's fine.

-And you know where I am?

Yeah, I'll bring those files...

Perfect. Now, I know you only eat halal.

Please, don't go to any trouble...

It's fine, see you at seven.

Hello.

Oh, it's work related. Partly.

And you're cooking dinner?

Simple. Meat-free classic.

So, you like her?

Ah... She's very attractive. If somewhat irritating.

Oh, and is that your perfect mix?

Only time will tell.

SHE CHUCKLES

SHE PANTS

SHE GASPS

DOOR OPENS

Oh...hi!

Holly...? Are you OK?

Holly, what's...?

It's fine.

-Do you need...?

-It's empty.

It's OK, I've got you...

Right. We're going to get you to a doctor....

Can you walk OK?

Easy... Easy.

Hey, I was well-impressed with you last night.

I was expecting slippers and cocoa by ten.

-ROB:

-'Oi! There is life in the old dog yet.'

Excellent. So, let's keep you on your paws, then, eh?

-Where's your best local with a darts board?

-Darts?

-Yeah. I'm finishing work early.

-Er...I don't know.

I don't know what time I'm going to finish, and Karen, she...well...

Oh, please! Spare me the "wife don't like it" speech.

Oh, it's OK for you, you're footloose and fancy free...

Well, bring her along!

Hey, I guarantee you - a few drinks in, she'll be throwing triples

and swearing like Auntie Kim.

She just needs to get out more.

-You think so?

-Hey, the washing-up can wait.

I don't know...

I hear your fear.

Hey, tell you what, I'll give you a head start if you're that scared.

I'll still win, mind you...

All right, then, you're on!

Yeah, top man!

I'll text you where.

-And I'll bring my arrows. I'll see you later, cuz.

-Bye.

Right...

PHONE RINGS

Mill Health Centre.

-Er, hiya, love.

-Oh, hello.

-Do you fancy an evening out tonight?

-Ooh, lovely.

'I was thinking the Letherbridge Arms, maybe?'

OK. Food is always good...

Yeah, and...darts.

Darts?

Yeah, well, I was thinking we should take Mo along with us.

Seeing as she doesn't know anyone around here...

Hang on. So this is the Letherbridge Arms. Darts. Mo.

What kind of mug do you think I am?

This isn't a date - it's a lads' night out!

-Did you just say darts?

-No, it's not! It's not a lads' night out.

-Mo's not a lad, for a start!

-Not biologically, perhaps.

-Count me in.

-Who's that?

Al.

The pub on West Street is by far the best.

The Ball and Chain?

Oh, yeah... OK, then.

SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND

Love, I've got to go.

They do such good ales in there, Rob.

I'll see you in there. Bye.

-Are we on?

-Yes.

-Yay!

A night out with the Hollinses!

SHE CLEARS THROAT

I would like a word with Sergeant Hollins, please.

Sarge...?

Hello, Mrs Tembe, can I help you with something?

I need to discuss an important matter.

Do you want to come round?

OK, Holly. My room is just through here.

-OK.

-I'll be right out here.

PHONE RINGS

Do you mind...? I just...

-I can't.

-Don't worry...

Just tell them I'm sorry...I just can't...

-I'll deal with it. It's OK.

-OK.

-Thanks.

Hello... No, it's Martha Bullmore.

Yeah, I'm with Holly. She's um...

She's got a bit...upset... I don't

think she's going to make it. Sorry.

I'm not sure. I don't quite know what's going on yet...

Yeah, maybe...

Maybe the whole wedding's off.

I mean, it doesn't look good.

OK. I'll try. I'd better go... Bye.

I sympathise...

Honestly, I really do...

Obviously, what's happened is wrong.

But without signed and sealed witness statements,

the chances of pinning anything on this guy are pretty slim.

The CPS might not even look at it.

But he is clearly guilty.

I don't doubt that, but with cases like this,

they can take an age to build up and they can collapse really quickly.

Plus, in terms of the law, there is a bit of a grey area...

What grey area?

Whether or not it is a police matter. Trading Standards, yes.

Police?

This man is a dangerous criminal!

He is preying on vulnerable and innocent people...

It's not that straightforward.

It is for Mrs Marsh!

-She needs your help.

-And I will pass this on to my team.

And you never know,

there may be an outstanding investigation involving this guy.

And if there is, this will help move it forward.

Sorry.

Thank you.

DOOR SLAMS

PHONE CHIMES

Hey... What...?

-AUTOMATED VOICE:

-Please, leave your message after the tone.

Holly, it's me. What's going on?

Call me, yeah?

I can see from your notes that you haven't had

-an attack for quite a while now.

-No.

I'm guessing hen nights can get a bit stressful?

HE CHUCKLES

Have you had any alcohol?

A bit, yeah.

Can you say how much, exactly?

Couple of glasses.

OK, that's nothing to worry about.

Was it something specific that sparked this off?

OK, well...

if you're not up to talking yet, Holly, that's fine.

Don't worry, just try and relax, yeah?

-No rush.

-Thanks...

Just try and focus on slowing down your breathing.

Just...deep...

HE INHALES LOUDLY

..and steady...

HE EXHALES

That's it. Oh, it might help to close your eyes.

Visualise something calming.

Much better...

AL CHATTERS

At last, where have you been!

I thought I was going to die in here on my own.

So sorry, love. We had a last-minute patient with a gippy tum...

-Pint of Old Pickering, please. Karen Hollins, what are you having?

-Oh, G&T. Easy on the T.

-Rob Hollins?

-All right, who chose this hole, by the way?

-Place is a nightmare to find.

-Evening, Mo. This is Al.

-Oh, hey. I work with...

-I'm gasping for an ale.

Chop chop, good lad. None of that chilly, fizzy rubbish, though.

Oh, and crisps. Smoky bacon, steak...

Or both. I'm Mo, by the way.

Hey, I'm Al. I work with Karen.

Good flock, no staples. Quality board.

So, who's up for doubles?

Oh, here we go... These must be the legendary golden arrows.

-How about we spice it up a bit?

-What do you suggest?

Oh... Losers pay for everyone's Ruby afterwards.

Oh. Now! That is an idea!

Oooh! What? Are you chicken?

Me? Chicken? I am chicken, I'm chicken bhuna.

Me and you, Karen.

-Fighting talk from the Hollinses.

-Don't worry, love.

Your prawn jal-whatsit is going to be on them. Guaranteed.

Here we go. Extra G.

One of the key things is to use your inhaler before things gets worse.

-I tried, but...

-It was empty.

I'm just saying...

Early intervention can avoid things building to a crisis...

If one of the triggers of your asthma is getting stressed and anxious,

then dealing with things means you could avoid ending up in hospital...

Things have been difficult in work.

-Can you not talk to your manager?

-She's part of the problem.

Oh...I see.

-I assumed she was your friend...

-Martha Bullmore...

Her nickname is Bull's-eye!

Oh, let me guess - something to do with...hitting targets?

Kind of - she throws herself at every new man that

comes in to the department.

My fiance, Ed, has just joined us a few months ago.

Oh, right.

She knows we're together but it doesn't stop her.

Plus, she's just interviewed him for a promotion...

I see...

I...erm...

I saw them together, before I left today...

I'm sorry - I shouldn't be dumping all this on you.

No, no, don't worry.

I can see why you're feeling so stressed out.

On top of getting married tomorrow, as well...

Yeah, that's a lot of pressure.

Thank you.

You've been really kind... but I'm going to call a cab.

I can't face Martha.

OK. Just...

..take a minute. Yeah?

Focus on slowing your breathing again.

OK.

Erm...Martha?

She seems to have gone.

Oh, good. Can't find my phone...

Oh, you passed it to...

Oh, of course I did.

Well, I'm going now,

so, I can give you a lift home, if you like?

Are you sure...? I can just...?

No, no, it's all part of the service!

Thank you. That'd be great.

OK, then. Let's go.

MUSIC: La Donna e Mobile from Rigoletto by Verdi

-Let me take your coat.

-Oh, thank you. Ah, Rigoletto!

-Yeah, this just stuck in my head.

-It was a great performance.

Is it too loud? I like it when I'm cooking...

-No, no, it's fine.

-What about the lighting? Is that too low?

-Perhaps a bit...for reading...

-Let me get you...a drink.

ALARM BEEPS

Oh, the crostini!

HE FUSSES

Oh, dear.

Sorry for just turning up, but it's about Holly...

You've seen her? Where is she?

Look, I'm the last person who should be interfering...

What did she say to you?

Just that she's really sorry...

I don't get it...

I just get this text out of nowhere...saying

the wedding's off...

I keep trying to call her, but her phone's switched off now!

Ed, I'm so sorry.

Come on, sit down. I'll put the kettle on.

I can give you a sort of overview of more recent

developments with community-based midwives...

I just wondered how you'd settled in.

Oh, er... Yeah, fine.

I think there's still a lot I need to get to grips with...

Everything else OK?

Yeah, yeah...

-A bit of trouble with my landlord.

-Oh, dear...

Yeah, he won't renew my lease.

He wants to see if he can rent it to someone else for more money.

I'm sure it will resolve itself.

And if it doesn't?

I'll have to move out at short notice, be a major hassle...

Well, you could move in here, I have plenty of space, don't hesitate...

No, that's very kind of you, but I... I couldn't possibly...

The offer is there if you need it...

Thank you, but I really couldn't.

Is it too middle-aged bachelor?

No, no, no, it's lovely.

It's very... It's very, ha, organised.

Thank you... I do like order.

Well, you see, that's where it wouldn't work.

My kids are polar opposites.

Oh, yes, of course...

I come as part of a much bigger and louder package.

Please, have a seat...

Thank you.

I don't understand - why would she do this now?

I know it sounds harsh, but if it's Holly's decision,

there's nothing you can do.

HE SIGHS

I've messed this up so badly.

Don't beat yourself up - you're a great guy, you're kind

and funny and handsome...

HE SCOFFS

If Holly doesn't appreciate you, then it's her loss.

You deserve to be with somebody who does.

DOOR OPENS

Holly!

It's not what it looks like.

Yeah, it is.

-Honestly, Hols, I swear...

-I saw you together at work.

No, nothing's happened!

Holly, just try and stay calm, remember?

I'm sorry, who are you?

Dr Vere. Holly came in to my surgery...

-Ed, I think we should leave.

-We?

-You've slept together, haven't you?

-No! Of course no...

I know you're lying! You're such a...

We were supposed to be getting married tomorrow!

Hang on a minute! You text-dumped me, remember?!

What?

Yeah, pretty brutally, actually...

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Well, it came from your phone!

Doesn't mean she's the one who sent it.

Holly, shall we try and take a seat? Remember...

try and keep calm...

Slow breaths...

HE BREATHES SLOWLY

Are you coming with me, or not?

Get out!

Shame. You deserved that promotion.

Get out!

Your loss.

-Good arrows.

-My round. Karen? Rob?

No, we're fine. We sort of need a decent score,

if we're going to have any chance of drawing level.

Oh, stop pressuring me!

I'm just saying, don't waste them. Again.

DART CLATTERS

Close.

DART CLATTERS

Oh, not so close!

-Oh, Karen. No!

-Five!

Let's see you do any better!

Hey, hey, come on, Hollinses. You're falling apart.

Try pulling together.

Right, so we require...80.

I'm going to go 20, 20, double top.

Huh!

That's 20.

So is that.

-Yes! Double top!

-Come on!

SHE CHEERS

SHE LAUGHS

Spaghetti al pomodoro...

You said, "Keep it simple,"

but it's a classic, nonetheless.

I had no idea you were such a good cook.

It's a bombproof recipe, but it needs a good red...

-No, no, you must have some.

-No, really, I'm fine.

It's not the same without it.

I thought I told you, I don't drink.

Oh...yes, of course...

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you.

No, it's fine. It's not a problem.

It's not specifically a religious thing, anyway, it's more by choice.

A choice?

I mean...I...

I don't like the effect.

Shall I start?

Oh, yes, please do, yeah.

-Oh, cards?

-Oh, do you play?

Yeah. Bridge, mainly. My aunties taught me.

Oh, I adore bridge.

Do you know honeymoon? You only need two players.

Yes, it's not quite as skilful...

Well, we can play later...

Unless, of course, it's beneath you...?

No, no, no, I accept the challenge, but I warn you, I never lose.

I warn you, neither do I.

-Cheers.

-Mm.

Mm.

It was just the once.

At that weekend conference thing.

You said it was just a kiss!

I was off my face, Holly, you know? Really, really drunk.

Not that drunk.

It was a stupid, stupid mistake.

I told her that the next morning.

But you know what she's like, she wouldn't give up.

I'm so sorry, Holly.

Really.

-Look, you two need obviously to talk...

-Go.

-Yeah.

No, you, Ed.

Listen, Hols...

Just go! Please.

Look... I think it might be an idea if you...

Holly...?

She really doesn't need any more stress, right now.

There's a spare inhaler in the drawer.

I love you, Holly.

Easy. Easy.... You can do this.

I've had a few.

But I reckon I can hit bull's-eye with my eyes closed....

Yes, you can. Bull's-eye!

In one!

THEY LAUGH AND CHEER

Look at the state of him.

Look at the state of her.

He's all over her.

Oh, come on. He didn't stand a chance.

-Losers!

-Losers!

That's it. I'm done.

Oi, where are you going?

Home.

You're going to go via the curry house, right?

I'm such an idiot.

Why did I believe him?

When you love someone, I guess...

I don't know what to think. Or what to do.

Oh...I'm such a mess...!

No, you're not.

You are in control. OK?

Just take your time and make the decision that's right for you.

OK?

I will.

Thank you.

Well, then... Good luck.

Bye.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Another one for me.

Oh, the last trick is mine...

I think not...

Oh...hidden depths.

Or a lucky hand.

No, don't humour me. It only makes it worse.

-I'm sorry. So, shall we go again?

-How else will I get my revenge?

SHE CHUCKLES

AL SINGS

Hey!

BOTH MOAN

Oh, you've hit bull's-eye big time tonight, haven't you?

Yeah, I appear to be on a lucky streak.

Back to ours for a nightcap?

Yes... Yes, please!

Really! I thought you had a heart...

I do...

But I play bridge with my head.

Oh, another one. I must salvage the Carter pride.

I'm sorry, it'll have to wait another night. It's late.

Please don't tell anyone about this.

I will never live it down.

My lips are sealed.

I've had a fantastic evening, thank you.

Ruhma, I've really enjoyed tonight.

Yeah, well... That's very sweet. Ditto.

No.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that...

I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression...

Er, I don't know what to say...

I thought we were clear.

Oh, we were. We are.

I've got to go.

I...

I'm sorry.

MO AND AL LAUGH NEXT DOOR

TV: 'The mating ritual is neither elaborate...'

THEY GET LOUDER

This is not the evening I had planned.

Oh, that's because you let Mo and Al plan it.

I still think there's something a bit OFF about him -

-I should have warned Mo.

-It's the other way round!

She should carry a public health warning.

TV: '..and the female soon makes it clear who is in charge.'

-AL:

-180!

Oh!

THEY CONTINUE TO LAUGH AND GIGGLE

She's got me on this breast-feeding exclusion zone.

I've got to be 20 feet away at all times.

Not rushing off without having breakfast, are you?

-Oh...

-You're all right, you're OK.

Al became fixated with her, he started properly stalking her.

Nothing says "I love you" more...

than...a pie.