Vapour Trail Doctors

Malcolm?

Is that you?

Yeah, yeah.

The doctor?

What are you doing here?

We spoke on the phone.

I said I was coming down, remember?

Oh, right, well... I suppose you should come in.

Morning.

Bye.

Where are you going?

Home. The lady in my life is having a duvet day.

But you will be working.

I will be done with this by lunchtime.

And then, while you're working, I'll be having the time of my life.

Well, actually, I'm going for a curry,

to the best Balti house in Letherbridge.

-Who said it's the best?

-Ruhma.

What's it called?

The West End Balti House.

-Do they deliver?

-Probably.

Well, if it's the best Balti house in Letherbridge

I want to know for sure.

After all, you know what they say about spicy foods and endorphins.

Am I right, yeah?

Good morning, gentlemen!

Ah, Mrs Tembe, you're back.

Are you surprised to see me, Dr Carter?

The consultant discharged me. Despite your concern.

Are you feeling better?

I do not want any fuss.

Well, you're not going to get any. Not from me.

I'll be working from home today.

For what it's worth, you are a complete hero.

The West End Balti House, yeah?

-Yes.

-Thank you VERY much.

So, Practice Manager, Mill Health Centre, Letherbridge, West Midlands.

I thought you were going to wait for me to OK it.

We would have missed the deadline.

-So you went ahead and did it anyway?

-Someone had to.

And you're happy telling Mrs Tembe, then?

I thought you might like to.

Yeah, right(!)

Doing another photo shoot today?

What if I am?

Making the staff feel good about themselves? Boosting morale.

-Yeah, that's right.

-Well, they need to hear the bad news, too.

Oh, Dr Clay, Dr Granger.

We've just been reading about your exploits.

Good to see you. How are you doing?

A little sore

but I am ready to get back to work.

Glad to hear it.

I'm going to leave you two to it.

Well, if you will excuse me, Dr Clay...

Yeah, Mrs Tembe, before you start...

Yes?

I need to talk to you.

Oh? Really? Well, please, take a seat.

So, how can I help?

It's about the photo shoot. The calendars... Icons...

Just wondered if you were up to it,

maybe I could take your picture today.

At lunchtime. Except I've got to go now.

Cos I've got a clinic. So...

Malcolm?

No, it's Dr Granger from the Mill Health Centre.

What are you doing here?

I'm your doctor.

My doctor?

Yes. Your son Malcolm phoned the surgery.

Yes?

He left a message with our receptionist saying

he was concerned that he hadn't heard from you.

And wanted someone to come and see you.

Right.

You'd better come in, then.

Thank you.

I am still a little bit confused.

About what?

Well, why have you come here when there's already a doctor here?

There is no other doctor here, Mr Ridgeley.

No? Well, then who's that up there, then?

DOOR CLOSES UPSTAIRS

What the blazes do you think you're doing?

-Who are you?

-I'm his doctor. Who are you?

I'm his son.

I'm your son, remember? Malcolm.

Malcolm?

-Yes.

-Malcolm lives in Newcastle.

That's right. I've come down to move you up with me.

We talked about it on the phone, remember?

I can't say I do.

That's me. Dr Granger.

Right.

I haven't anything with me.

But it was me who phoned and asked you to come round.

The Mill Health Centre.

Mind me asking when?

-Yesterday, about three. You can call them and check.

-If you don't mind.

Reception's terrible up here. You might want to go downstairs.

-I can come with you if you like.

-No need. I remember now.

Malcolm, dear boy, how are you?

I'm fine. Thanks.

Dad.

Right, well, I'll be a minute.

Who are you really?

You know who I am. You just said you recognised me!

Yes, but otherwise he'll use it as an excuse to put me in a home.

No-one is going to put you in a home!

You're going to make a different recommendation?

Different from this doctor?

I'm not a doctor. I'm your son!

Let's keep saying that.

My son's a doctor.

I'm your son! Just get it into your head.

Look, what about valuables? We don't want to leave anything

that's worth anything if the place is going to be empty.

OK. So somebody called Malcolm Ridgeley did call

to make an appointment yesterday.

-Thank you.

-But strangely, somebody called Malcolm Ridgeley has been in

in the last half an hour to pick up a prescription for Arnold.

That's impossible - I'm Malcolm!

Hi, Dad, it's me. Malcolm.

I cannot wait.

Me neither.

-Come on, then.

-Come on, what?

Why wait?

I was talking about the curry.

Don't you tease me, Haskey.

I'm not. Look, I need to get this done, yeah?

You're sat on my paperwork, could you budge a little bit?

After the curry, though, yeah?

After the curry.

Is that a promise?

It's a promise.

Yeah. You'd better.

Malcolm, this is Dr Daniel Granger.

Doctor, this is my son, Malcolm.

Pleased to meet you.

Likewise, I think. So if you're Malcolm...

I'm Malcolm.

You're Malcolm, too. That is a coincidence.

I'm your son,

How can he be your son? He's barely any younger than you are.

Yes, that does take a bit of explaining.

Who are you?

I am Malcolm. Your son.

Look, I brought your prescription.

He's a doctor. At the Mill Health Centre.

Yeah?

Could I? I've been waiting for those.

I have to take them in water.

So which one of you is the real Malcolm?

I am.

So why did you say you were?

Because that's who he wanted me to be.

At first I kept on correcting him.

No, Arnold, Malcolm's in Newcastle - he told me that's where you lived -

but then he kept saying how proud he was of me, how pleased he was

I was coming, despite how busy I must have been with my patients.

I am not a doctor.

So you were pretending to be Malcolm?

It seemed kinder. Instead of telling him you still hadn't come.

But that would just confuse him even more.

And also picking up his prescriptions...

It did seem weird at first, but after a few years...

Years?!

Like I say... I didn't think you were coming back.

Dad?

A takeaway?

It's just I don't get much time for lunch

and my house is much nearer than the restaurant.

Yeah, I suppose that would work out a lot easier for me, too.

So I'll order the food and have it delivered at yours

about 2.15?

Splendid.

Right, then, see you later.

I look forward to this afternoon.

I'd better go. I've got a patient waiting.

Bye.

Nice and spicy.

My valuables, you say?

Why are you going to take my valuables?

We need to take everything.

Why?

Because, at least for the time being, you're going to come

and stay with me.

With you? Why would I do that?

Because I live too far away to keep coming back.

Well, you should have bought somewhere closer. Like Malcolm.

I am Malcolm.

Well, then, who's he?

He's called Freddy. He's your neighbour.

He's been looking after you.

F...F...

-Freddy?

-Yes.

Well. Thank you, Mal...Freddy.

You're welcome.

Surely you can see that you can't keep going on like this?

That you need full-time care?

Well, I don't know. I mean, you're probably right.

I'm not really in a state to judge.

What do you think?

Well, you're not getting any better.

No. Are you a doctor?

No, I am. Dr Granger from the Mill Health Centre.

Oh, Dr Granger.

Maybe we can have a chat downstairs?

Certainly.

So? What can I do you for?

Well, since I haven't seen you for six months, I thought

we could talk about how things had changed for you in that time.

Ah, well, really, not a great deal.

At my age...another six months...

You haven't noticed things getting harder?

Erm. Reading. Reading never does get any easier, does it?

Read now, while you've got your chance, that's my advice.

I can't remember the last book I read.

Why? Because it was a long time ago?

Probably.

What do you like to read?

I've always been a great fan of mysteries, whodunits,

that sort of thing.

Like Sherlock Holmes?

Yes. I'd love to read some of his.

Conan Doyle's, I mean.

What? You haven't already?

No. What would you recommend?

How about one of these?

You've got lots of his.

Oh, I've got all of them.

No, there's just one missing.

Oh, yes, well, that's... Malcolm's probably reading it.

He does tend to borrow things.

Malcolm does?

Yes, but still, he only lives over the road.

Do you know, the good thing about losing your marbles is that

you never can remember who done it!

He's been getting worse.

More recently?

Yeah. It's a good thing that you've come.

Did he call you?

No, I called him.

He's always talking about you.

Really?

But less and less of what he says makes sense.

He thinks everyone's a doctor.

Yeah, I know.

Actually, my own health hasn't been that good.

-No?

-No. That's why my wife, Jean, and I have decided to sell up, move to Spain.

Spain?

Yeah, got family out there. Grandkids.

Right. Have you told him?

Well, I have. But it's hard to know what's sinking in.

Maybe you could tell him?

When are you leaving?

We're going soon.

You don't want to say goodbye?

Well, like I say, I already have.

What about everything you've done for him?

How can I repay you?

There's no need.

I feel terrible, you've been here. He thinks you're me.

Doing everything I should have been doing.

Don't blame yourself. It all works out.

It'll all work out in the end.

HE SIGHS

He's moving house, you know.

Is he?

Yes. He's selling up to go and live in Spain.

Really?

I dare say it will be a good deal cheaper.

Yeah, I imagine it will be.

But setting up a doctor's surgery never is cheap, is it?

What?

And then how are the Spaniards going to feel about going to see

an English doctor?

You're not Spanish, are you?

No. But I am a doctor.

Well, then you'll know how expensive it is.

How much exactly does he need?

All of it, apparently.

Once they've got sorted out, I'm going to fly out and live with them.

And that'll be good because I'll be near the grandkids.

But that's a bit strange because...I didn't know I had any.

You know, I've been wondering

if I wouldn't be better living somewhere else.

Nearer.

Do you want me to have a chat with Malcolm?

Would you?

I don't fancy going to live in Spain, not at my age.

He'll understand it coming from you, doctor to doctor.

I'm sure he will. I'll be back in a minute.

Take your time. Please.

Oh, this looks splendid!

It's very healthy.

I'm trying.

Dr Clay, I have been thinking about the photo shoot.

Are you today's icon?

I am not really sure.

Oh, Mrs Tembe, no, you must. You must seize the day.

Because you're our inspiration.

You must be strong and face up to things!

And if anyone can manage it, you can.

Because you're a manager.

-Isn't she?

-Absolutely.

You ARE an icon.

And we are going to do that photo shoot.

Even if I wanted to do it, I'm not sure who I would be.

Oh. Don't worry about that, because I know exactly who you'd be.

And I've got chiffon.

Can't we just go round?

I can't without a reason.

I could.

Yeah, but if he has been stealing from your father,

why would he let you in?

Not that we've got any evidence that he has been.

What the blazes are you doing?

Dad, I told you to stay in the kitchen.

You're going through my things.

Looking for anything valuable to take with us, remember?

But I can't find anything. Money, Mum's jewellery, documents, nothing.

Oh, no. No.

There is... Oh, no, I had to send it off... Yes, I sent it... No, no,

Malcolm sent it off and I signed it.

I signed it, he sent it.

Sent what?

Well, it was a long letter to the lawyer.

What letter, Arnold?

It were for Malcolm.

I'm Malcolm!

Yes, you are, aren't you?

That must be why he wanted me to put another name on it.

What name?

Did the lawyer write back to you?

Yes, of course. They're extremely efficient.

Now, I've got it filed under...

Yes, here it is.

May I?

It's a new will.

"This Last Will and Testament is made by me,

"Arnold Tobias Ridgeley...

"All my estate and property

"to be left to Frederick Prenton."

Signed by two witnesses.

They were friends of Malcolm's.

And I wasn't to tell the lawyer, for legal reasons.

OK, so if the neighbour's got any of his property,

then you'd have the right to enter?

I'd have grounds to ask.

I think it's time we went to have a look for that book. What do you think?

I think that's a splendid idea.

I'm getting tomato, ginger,

chilli... mainly lots of chilli.

It's not too hot for you?

It's wonderful.

Really? Good.

Try some of that.

Oh...

Oh, my goodness.

Drink some water.

Yoghurt works better.

I haven't got any, I'm afraid.

Really? That's got no effect on you?

Well, it's hot, it's not that hot.

It would take more than that to make me sweat.

Do you know what I really feel like after spicy food?

What?

SHE BURPS

Ooh, Masala poppadom. We meet again.

You all right?

Yep. Just going to go for a cigarette.

Roll one for me.

Outside.

-Suit yourself. Hey, Haskey...

-Yeah?

-I'll be waiting for you.

Did you find it?

No, he hasn't finished it yet.

But I took this.

It were your mother's.

Yes. I recognise it.

Let's keep it safe. Let's keep it all safe.

Yeah. Let's.

Thank you, Doctor.

Is that enough?

It's enough to ask to go in a house, yeah.

-And what if he says no?

-I'll arrest him.

No, no, I am not sure.

How can you not be sure? You're both wonderful singers.

You both learnt in church. And she's definitely an icon.

Yes. She does have a wonderful voice, that is true.

You know, Miss Pitman, I have been very touched by everyone's concern,

and you have been especially solicitous.

You have the gift of empathy.

Thank you.

Right, now, let's get that old cardigan off you.

What?

I should have been here.

The truth is, we never got on.

Ever since I dropped out of medical school.

When was that?

20 years ago. But I remain a disappointment.

Maybe I should tell him I'm a doctor,

if that's what he wants to hear.

What? Confuse him even more?

I think that ship has sailed, don't you?

Malcolm?

I'm Malcolm, Dad.

The doctor?

Yeah, that's right. Come on.

Let's get you inside, eh?

Mrs Tembe, have you spoken to Jimmi yet?

Yes.

You know, I was not sure at first... But then I thought

what better way to come back to work than doing a charity photo shoot?

Sing something.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Aretha Franklin?

Yes, see? I knew they'd get it.

Right. Can I have a word?

Yes, yes, of course.

When I said, "Have you spoken to Dr Clay?", what I meant was,

did he speak to you about the practice manager's job?

No, no, he has not.

OK, he should have done.

And what should he have said?

That it was always a temporary position.

I was always aware that I would have to apply.

OK. So it won't be a surprise that we're advertising the post.

Of course.

The advertisement's already in the paper and we go online tomorrow.

I see. Thank you for letting me know.

I thought someone should.

By the way, you look terrific.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Good, huh?

Thank you.

Have some more.

Yes, I think I will.

I'm getting pistachio, cardamom and, erm...

Condensed milk. It's an old family recipe.

I always keep some in the freezer.

It's wonderful.

With more time, I'd have cooked the whole meal, you know.

Actually I'm a dab hand at sushi, if you're interested.

I am interested.

-The thing is...

-I'm going to clear up.

You don't need to.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Listen, before we get started,

there's something I need to tell you.

-No, you do not.

-I really do.

No, you do not, because Dr Granger already has.

He's told you about the ad?

It would have been nice to have been told before I made a fool of myself.

We should have said something before.

Yes. Yes, you should. It is all a matter of respect.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

That is why I will not be doing your photo shoot.

-Come on, Mrs Tembe...

-Or applying for the job.

Mrs Tembe, please...

Please excuse me, I have work to do.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in!

How did it go?

I will not be doing it.

Why?

They're making you apply?

Are you going to do it?

No. It is too much.

So you're giving up?

Yes. No.

Do you think it's because you're tired?

Maybe.

Sometimes I feel too old and tired to carry on.

Oh, Lord. You've made me feel so old and tired...

Not Winifred Tembe.

We shall overcome.

There you go.

Right, then.

Right, then.

-Ruhma...?

-I'd better go.

What, now?

Yeah. Do you mind getting my coat?

No. Of course.

It's ridiculous. We should've just offered you the job.

Of course not. Procedure has to be followed.

But you're perfect.

Who is to say you might not find someone better?

I don't think so.

Yes, well, I do not want preferential treatment.

You're not going to be Aretha Franklin, then?

No. I am Miss Rosa Parks.

Who believed in freedom and equality.

She dedicated her life to it.

She refused to give up her seat to a white man.

"People always say that I didn't give up my seat

"because I was tired, but that isn't true.

"I was not tired physically, no...the only tired I was...

"..was tired of giving in."

Does this mean you're going for the job?

It means I am going to do what I feel is the right thing to do.

MUSIC: "Respect" by Aretha Franklin

Thank you for the dessert. Thank you for everything.

It was nothing.

It wasn't.

-I'll see you soon.

-Bye.

Bye.

It stinks in here

of stale beer and curry,

and that reflects badly on the practice.

You'll remember you are only contracted until January.

It's about you, same as always!

-That's not fair.

-It's the truth!

# Diamonds are a girl's best friend. #