The Power of You Doctors

A CAR APPROACHES

DOORBELL RINGS

SHE RINGS DOORBELL AGAIN

Do you think I should take a coat?

It'll be 40 degrees!

-I can't believe you haven't packed yet.

-There's plenty of time.

It's Monday!

-LAUGHTER

-Just give it back!

-Oh, come on!

Al's new girlfriend.

Why's he brought her here?

It's a particularly delicate phase of its development.

Oh, you are a spoilsport!

Oh, er...Dr Reid, Doctor Donaghue,

this is, er...well, you sh... She can introduce herself.

Hiya, I'm Mo.

-Hello, it's...it's lovely to meet you.

-Hi.

Right, let's go and get those painkillers.

What, and no milk?

No, it's, um...it's better for a hangover if it's black.

You are talking out of your rear end, Haskey.

Well, it's...not what I was expecting.

It won't last. Trust me.

It'll be over by the time I'm back from Australia.

-I'll see you later.

-Bye.

-House calls.

-Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry, we're not open yet.

Valerie!

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Good morning, Dr Reid.

KAREN LAUGHS

Of course, it's for the calendar!

You look amazing!

I've got to go. I'll see you later.

VALERIE LAUGHS

You look incredible!

Open your coat, go on, open your coat!

Tonight, Matthew, I will be...

BOTH: Marilyn! SHE LAUGHS

-Oh, wow, you look like a...

-Movie star, yeah.

Oh, I love Marilyn.

Being her is like a dream come true.

I'm so glad I can do this while I'm still healthy.

I mean, no matter what the future holds,

Letherbridge can remember me as a glamour-puss.

THEY LAUGH

See you later.

-Mum!

-Oh.

Why didn't you say you were coming?

I only just found out myself.

Oh...you are so beautiful.

You always say that.

Come on. I need a coffee.

What are you doing here?

Saving the UK leg of the Health & Wellness tour.

Dan Durber fell off his podium during his presentation on Tuesday night.

I think it was in Manchester. The poor guy broke his pelvis.

Anyway, I'm his replacement in Bristol, Cardiff and London.

-How long you over for?

-Just till Wednesday.

You couldn't stay any longer?

-Not this time.

-What?

Mmm, later. I want to hear your news.

Were you going to move without telling me?

You've seen Dad?

No, he wasn't in. How is your dad?

-Sorry about the mess.

-Don't be silly.

How have you been?

Well, the marathon training's still on hold.

SHE LAUGHS

Have, er...you been able to get out at all?

I made it to the end of the garden last week,

though I did spend the next day in bed.

How are the pain levels?

Much the same. I manage.

But, you know, if things don't improve, I'm going to have to give up work.

I've started an application for benefits.

-Right.

-PHONE RINGS

Excuse me.

Hello?

Dad, Mum's here.

-You haven't told her?

-No, she wants to see you.

Tell her I'm away.

Why don't you just explain?

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Dad, I've got to go.

Give me an hour, and please, don't say anything.

My daughter, Ellie.

-Her mother's decided to drop in on us from California.

-Oh.

Um, I take it she's not aware of your condition?

Faye's an incredible woman, but she wouldn't understand this.

Well, she might surprise you.

HE LAUGHS

Ah.

Yes, well...

Very nice in theory, but not quite that simple, is it?

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-It's Miss Monroe, but you can call me Marilyn.

-Marilyn, tell you what, I'd like to talk through the shoot first...

-Oh, let's just go for it!

Mmm?

-Jimmi?

-Oh, er, yeah...

-Yeah.

-Valerie?

-It's Marilyn!

Dad! We're home!

I'm just finishing up in the office. I'll be right there.

I'll put the kettle on.

Not for me, thanks.

FAYE SIGHS

-Well, don't just stand there!

-SHE LAUGHS

-You look well.

-Thanks.

-I...wish I could say the same about you.

-SHE LAUGHS

I've had a virus, it's knocked me back a bit.

Have you tried ginger tea?

Oh, come on, Adam. It's man-flu, not leprosy.

Leave him alone, Mum.

Well...the more you give in to bugs, the longer they stick around.

-Yeah, we've all read your book.

-Ellie.

It's lovely to see you, Faye.

But why am I here?

I'm getting married.

I wanted to tell you both in person.

Congratulations.

W-Who is he?

You never mentioned anyone.

Brett Henderson.

He's...a motivational speaker from San Diego.

We hadn't known each other long, but, well...when you know it's right...

I'm going to check his Facebook page. FAYE LAUGHS

Of course you are.

And when you've satisfied yourself that he is suitable for me,

then I hope you will come to the wedding.

And you too, Adam.

-It's in Hawaii on Christmas Eve.

-SHE LAUGHS

Look, Al's free, send a couple his way.

-VALERIE:

-# A kiss on the hand may be quite continental

# But diamonds are a girl's best friend

# A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental

# On your humble flat

-# Or help you at the automat... #

-LAUGHTER

# Men grow cold,

# As girls grow old,

# And we all lose our charms in the end

# But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape.

# Diamonds are a girl's best friend. #

APPLAUSE

Well, he's not after your money.

He's even richer than Mum.

Dad.

-Sorry.

-Oh...

Adam...

Have you eaten today?

Right.

Where are you going?

Shopping.

I don't imagine you have kiwi and chia seeds in your kitchen.

Chia seeds!

I'll be right back.

Take the spare key, the doorbell disturbs him. FAYE SIGHS

It's hanging right there.

You OK?

We've been divorced for years. It was always going to happen.

Brett Henderson, perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect life.

If he makes her happy...

I expect he's unbearably charming too.

You'll find out soon enough.

I'm not going to the wedding.

Ellie, you have to.

Your mum wants you there.

Oh, and what about what I want?

Come on, two weeks in Hawaii? Don't tell me you wouldn't love that.

-I'm not leaving you on your own over Christmas.

-I'll be fine.

Yeah, you will, because I'm not going.

She'll be so disappointed.

I'm sure Mr Perfect will help her get over it.

Don't spoil her day.

Dad, what is wrong with you?

She left you. She left us!

She wanted you to go with her.

And when I didn't want to go, she left anyway

right in the middle of my GCSEs.

I'll go next summer.

Christmas is for us.

You know, you really should update your phone.

I'm not really into games.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not a game, it's an app.

You call it a game-changer if you like.

In a few moments' time, you're going to be able to pit your wits

against some disastrously medical conundrums devised by yours truly!

-How was your day off?

-Day off...

Yeah...yeah, it was everything I'd hoped it would be,

and the, er...evening off, and the, er...middle of the night on.

Um, how was your date with Ruhma?

-Oh, um, she's quite delightful, and...

-AL GRUNTS

It's not like that.

Well, make it like that. Come on, you know, make hay while the suneth shine, and all that.

Do you have patients today?

No, I'm doing a presentation with Mrs Tembe,

which is...just as well, cos I feel dreadful.

PHONE BEEPS

-Oh! It's done.

-Oh, thank you.

Just to warn you, it's in a beta version,

so it may intermittently crash your phone.

I'm going to have a quick power-nap. Um...

Would you, er...would you mind turning the light out for me, Heston?

Cuppa?

Um...why don't you...try one of these?

Hibiscus flower?

It's very cleansing.

You're so Californian! FAYE LAUGHS

Is that an insult?

No, it's not a bad thing. It's just different - exotic.

Wait till you're in Hawaii.

Mum, I can't come to the wedding.

Of course you can.

I'm really busy.

We specifically avoided term time

so as not to interfere with your studies.

I've got all of these assignments.

Well, bring them with you.

Look, I really applaud your commitment to your education,

but a couple of weeks isn't going to make a difference.

Where do you keep your chopping board?

What's going on?

Oh-h-h, so-o good!

It's perfect for relieving stress,

and when you're having a baby, there can be a lot of stress involved.

Don't worry, Heston, I'm not having a baby.

I'm just getting a demonstration.

Which you should book yourself in for, by the way, it's fantastic.

SHE EXHALES DEEPLY

-Yeah, as far as pregnant women go, they should only have it...second, third trimester.

-Oh.

Sex?

No, thanks.

Head massage.

-Right, you're done.

-Thank you so much!

Oh!

HE GARGLES

You know, there are more interesting parts of the body that you can manipulate.

Al Haskey...

I would give you a more thorough list,

but I'm picking up Daniel's slack as usual.

He's in good spirits.

Yeah, new woman.

They make quite a couple.

They do.

She obviously goes for the rumpled look.

So, you've noticed the...

Yes, I think somebody should mention it.

Yeah, I think it should be you.

No, no, no, I was thinking, um...you.

No, no, no, no, no.

See, that would be very...

It'll be better man-to-man.

Anti-depressants, anti-emetics, painkillers...what is wrong with you?!

You don't take these for a tummy bug.

I have CFS.

-Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, aka ME.

-Oh...

-Mum!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not a disease.

It is a set of symptoms for which no cause can be found.

-I mean, I'm assuming the doctors ruled everything else out?

-Yes.

And you're happy to accept this label?

Does it matter what it's called?!

Dad is ill, really ill.

He's in pain most of the time.

He can't walk 50 feet without getting dizzy.

He's too sick to drive.

He's housebound, Mum.

I'm buying a specially adapted bungalow as soon as we've sold this place.

And is this why you're not coming to my wedding?

You're allowing your own daughter to be your carer.

You're just ignorant!

Ignorant and selfish!

Who gets married on Christmas Eve, anyway?!

Ellie, apologise to your mother.

I've got a lecture.

I would never hold Ellie back,

or expect her to care for me.

She loves you.

She'll sacrifice her independence for you, regardless of your wishes.

The only way to stop her is to show her you're well.

We're spending far too much on consumables.

Up 10% on last year.

One of our suppliers went into administration.

I had to find a replacement at short notice.

But now I have investigated the market,

I have negotiated an excellent deal.

Look... Temporary cover. It's costing us a small fortune.

Yes, but we have been through some challenging times, as you know.

Valerie's rate seems unnecessarily generous.

It is not excessive for a qualified medical receptionist.

Hmm. Well, we may not need her services long term anyway, so...

Oh, no, no, we definitely need two full-time...

Of course.

-I am acting practice manager.

-Mm-hmm.

And is her...? I hope we're not paying her for all these absences.

Mrs Tembe, you are in a management role. You've got to be firm.

You can't treat the staff like they're mates.

Ms Durran. How can I help you?

You can help me by telling my ex-husband that he is not

suffering from a non-existent illness,

which has been invented by the medical establishment to cover their collective behinds.

Adam is never going to recover as long as you have him convinced

that he has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss Adam's condition with you.

However, I will tell you that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is

a recognised and neurological disorder.

A disorder for which there is no test,

no universally accepted medical diagnostic criteria,

no agreement on what actually triggers it and perpetuates it.

And, to cap it all, you can't even agree on what to call it.

-Just because it's difficult to diagnose, doesn't mean that...

-It's a joke!

By endorsing this fiction,

you are creating an army of helpless victims,

-and you are robbing them of the means to their own recovery.

-Which is what?

To change the way they're thinking, you know,

to rid themselves of these beliefs that keep them sick and helpless.

So, they will themselves better?

The placebo effect demonstrates the mind's capacity to influence the body for better or worse.

Yeah, I'm all for positivity, but I think you're taking it a little far.

12 years ago, I went to my doctor with the symptoms of ovarian cancer.

I left with a prescription for constipation.

Six months later, they found a tumour the size of a melon...

..during a pregnancy scan.

Instead of having my baby,

I had a hysterectomy,

and I had my ovaries removed.

Radical surgery and chemotherapy may have saved my life,

but it was me that put the pieces back together again.

I don't doubt that that must have been a very traumatic time for you.

But treating people with CFS as if they are somehow

not trying hard enough is wrong.

Ellie.

Ellie?

-VALERIE:

-# I wanna be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you

# I wanna be loved by you alo-oh-one

# Boop-boop-de-boop... #

-Oh! Sorry!

-SHE LAUGHS

I'm a bit dizzy...in a good way.

Spirit of Marilyn, or maybe it's the hair and make-up.

Do you think blondes really do have more fun?

-Oh, I wouldn't know about that, Valerie.

-What about you, Mrs Tembe?

You know, I do not think hair colouring has any bearing on a person's capacity for frivolity.

I wish I could stay like this forever.

Oh!

We should all dress up again during our month!

I could spend the whole of April as Marilyn.

I do not think that would be appropriate.

But the patients love it, Mrs Tembe.

It would be a very bad idea.

Or maybe just the first of the month.

Oh, no, that would be April Fool's Day.

It would have to be the second.

-Oh, no, that's a Saturday. Fourth...

-Miss Pitman...

You may not be here in April.

Remember you are only contracted until January.

But...

Is it something that I've done, or not done?

No. It is nothing to do with your performance.

I really need some job security at the moment.

This is out of my hands.

I am so sorry.

I thought if I could show Ellie I was better,

she wouldn't feel she has to babysit me over Christmas.

Ellie is perfectly capable of deciding where

she wants to spend her Christmas holidays.

I think your ex-wife's intervention...was misinformed

and, in my opinion, detrimental to your health.

I want to believe her.

I want to believe I can beat this.

"We all have the power to overcome the most

-"difficult of circumstances."

-EMMA LAUGHS

Yes, I've, er...I've seen her website.

Adam, nursing her back to health,

supporting her through college,

raising Ellie while she toured the world...

Her achievements are as much to do with your sacrifice

as her famed positive thinking.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Oh...all right! All right!

-PHONE RINGS

Oh...it's the hospital.

Hello.

Yes, yes, I got the letter, yep.

Er...the 18th?

Yes. I'll be there. Thank you.

You all right?

Someone will be with you in a minute. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Two receptionists, and we can't deal with a handful of patients.

-Sorry, Valerie just needs a minute.

-Oh, does she?

Well, listen, I'm sick and tired of making allowances for Valerie.

Take the wig off. You look ridiculous.

Is that better?! Is it?

SHE SOBS

Pull yourself together, and grow up.

Oh, I'll pull myself together!

Yeah, yeah, I'll pull myself together!

SHE INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY

Give me that back, cos I'm going to need it when I start chemotherapy!

Yes, it may look ridiculous!

But it is better than no hair at all!

Not that you need to worry about my bald head or my ridiculous

wig, seeing as I've been given my marching orders!

What...what is going on?

I've got cancer!

My blood is turning against me!

And I am on the slippery slope to self-annihilation!

OK, Valerie, come with me...

Valerie!

Valerie, wait!

Dad! Are you all right?

-I've been better.

-Come on.

Let's get you home.

Dad!

This is your fault!

Don't worry. I've got you.

I never said it would be easy. The important thing is to keep moving forward.

He can't stand up!

-You're fighting back, that's what matters.

-Is it?

What really matters is that you get what you want,

and right now, that's Ellie at your wedding.

This isn't about Ellie.

It's about you, same as always!

-That's not fair.

-It's the truth!

When you walked out, when you demanded a divorce,

when you wrote about the most painful experience in my life,

it was for you, not me, not Ellie!

I was devastated! Bereaved!

I lost that baby too!

Writing that book saved my life!

And if I hadn't done it, we could never have moved forward!

All right. I think maybe we should all just calm down a little bit.

I watched you go through hell,

and then I watched you walk away.

And when I realised I couldn't fix it...

..I did everything in my power to help you have the life that you wanted.

So, please...

don't pretend any of it, ANY OF IT, was for my benefit.

Valerie, please, move away from the door.

Do not despair. You are not alone.

Go away!

-Oh, please let me in.

-No!

Valerie!

Oh...I'm busting for a wee!

I'm ever so sorry to bother you, but my pelvic floor is not what it used to be,

and it could be really embarrassing for me.

Please! Come on.

-Oh.

-Oh, come, come, come...

We are here for you, OK? Come here.

Come here.

Adam...

..I'm sorry.

If there's anything I can do, you must tell me.

Please. I want to help.

Thank you.

"Thank you"?

For accepting your help?

While I was following my path, you were raising our...beautiful,

headstrong, compassionate daughter.

Nothing I can do will ever compare to that.

Bye.

I love you both very much.

-Stay on target!

-VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS

That counts as work, does it?

Actually, I'm on a late lunch break.

My day was disrupted by an influx of unexpected patients

so that you could have your pow-wow with Mrs Tembe.

Ah, well, maybe you should have spent your late lunch break

having a shower and changing clothes.

You criticising my personal hygiene, Daniel?

It stinks in here of stale beer and curry,

and that reflects badly on the practice,

and it makes me wonder whether your mind's actually on the job.

-Well, you know, work hard, play hard.

-Oh.

Remember I asked you to give Valerie a check-up some weeks ago, swollen glands?

Yeah, and rampant hypochondria. I put her mind at rest.

It's not at rest now.

She's just had a meltdown in reception.

She's got Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Just how hard were you working when you missed that one?

-Becky? What day is it today?

-Monday. Why?

No reason.

Hello. I haven't seen you in ages.

Hardly ever get ill, touch wood.

I was the same...and then last week, I find out I've got cancer.

Oh, thanks, Niamh.

Nice to know someone still cares.