Breaking the News Doctors

# Incy wincy spider climbed up the spout

# Down came the rain and washed the spider out. #

Washed the spider out!

-All right, love?

-Yeah, yeah.

You'd better get going - your appointment's soon.

Oh, I forgot that. What's it for?

They never said. A review, probably.

-See how you're doing.

-I only had a review last month.

Well, I'm just glad they're looking after you.

-So get a move on.

-OK.

Mummy needs to chill out, doesn't she?

Shall we put her in the fridge?

SHE CHUCKLES

Your coat and keys.

Oh, thanks. Oops!

We'll be OK, darling. Everything's going to be OK.

-Ooh, Mrs Jenkins cancelled. Did I say that?

-Oh, great.

I was hoping to get out early. I haven't done any present-shopping.

Really? I've done all mine. Crackers and all. Huh!

But you can't leave yet because you've still got a 5:50 appointment.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

And this came for him.

Right. What is it?

Oh!

With all Dr Haskey's complaints,

-I forgot about decorating here.

-I'll do it!

It needs to be tasteful and understated.

This is weird - it's addressed to the patient.

"Jed Fielding, care of the Campus Surgery."

It was on the doormat earlier. Hand-delivered. Very mysterious.

I'd better go check his notes. I've not seen him before.

Mr Fielding is a very nice man.

He's an excellent plumber.

He replaced a leaking tap for me.

Right. Good.

So, if tasteful and understated is what you need, I am your woman.

Miss Pitman...tasteful!

Thanks!

# God rest ye merry, gentlemen

# Let nothing you dismay. #

UPBEAT MUSIC

Um...please can I have...a large brandy, please?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

Lovely.

Yes, that will be fine. Thank you.

-Evening, boss!

-Ah, Mr Fielding. How lovely to see you.

I thought you had your own office now, Mrs Tembe.

Oh. Well, I do. It is back at the Mill Health Centre.

Come, I will check you in.

How are your new taps working?

Oh! They are excellent, thank you.

-And how is little Billy?

-Oh, brilliant, yeah. Chatting away.

And he's walking now, too. Well, tottering.

-He's a bit like my dad after he's had a few.

-Hm.

And how are you?

Yeah, back to normal, pretty much, thanks to Dr Haskey.

And all of you. I'm really grateful.

Well, I am glad that the counselling is working.

And the antidepressants.

Saved my life, literally.

Next year's going to be my year, you wait.

And I won't need to come for so many reviews.

Well, according to this, your last review was last month.

Um...Jed Fielding?

Where's Dr Haskey?

Dr Vere is an excellent doctor.

Come on in.

OK, then.

I can't believe she didn't break her back!

-Or crack a rib.

-Or get a concussion.

And the way Heston behaved, anyone would think you'd pushed her off it on purpose!

-Well, it was our idea.

-Yeah, but it's better than asking for a fly tower!

If it hadn't been for that bloody curtain!

-Poor Ruhma!

-Poor Heston!

EMMA CHUCKLES BOTH: Large gin.

EMMA LAUGHS

So I see that you've had quite a difficult 18 months.

I've had better.

But you're feeling stronger now? No more unpleasant thoughts?

No. Different time, that. I'm a new man.

Great. So, um...how can I help?

You called me in.

I don't think so.

The surgery phoned my girlfriend.

No. It's definitely a patient-booked appointment.

Oh, yeah, sorry, um...this came for you.

That's Amber's writing.

HE READS: Dear Jed, I'm sorry for doing this, but I couldn't...

..see another way.

It's not that I don't love you, because I always will,

but something just changed from when we...

..first...

-Oh. I really don't think I should...

-Please!

Please.

SID SIGHS

Um...

-HE READS:

-I'm not explaining this properly, I know, but

I just need the doctor to make sure you're OK

and don't take this the wrong way, or do anything silly.

Because I'm leaving.

I'm sorry, but by the time you read this, I'll have gone.

Amber.

I'm really sorry.

I'm finished.

Look, um...Mr Fielding...?

Mr Fielding, what is wrong?

-I don't know what's happening! I don't understand!

-Dr Vere?

-He's had a shock.

-I need to see her.

-Who?

-Amber! I need...

MRS TEMBE SIGHS

Let's go back in here, OK?

Look, why don't you come and sit down for a moment,

just until you have calmed down?

Why's she doing this, huh? And where's she gone?

I can't think straight. What am I going to do? I...

Come on. Whoa-whoa. Come on.

Hello? It's only Grandpa.

I didn't want to ring the bell cos of the bab.

Hello?

BABY WAILS

KNOCK AT DOOR

Amber?

What's going on?

Don't try and stop me.

You can't leave him!

The guy's depressed, for heaven's sake! He's on his knees!

-Does he know?

-I've sent him up the doctor's.

They'll make sure he's OK.

And he's better now, anyway. Better than he was.

-Then why the hell are you...?

-I've got my reasons, OK?

And before you ask, no, I'm not seeing anyone else.

-Where are you going, then?

-To my mum's in Liverpool.

-You can't go at this hour!

-Don't tell me what to do, please!

This is hard enough as it is.

Come on, Amber. Whatever's happened, it will blow over.

Nothing's happened.

What's it going to do to him?!

Come on now, darling. The taxi will be here soon.

-PHONE RINGS

-Could you...?

No chance!

She's not answering.

We've had some silly rows recently, but, I thought...

Well, you know.

I mean, we're best mates.

And there's Billy. It's always tough when you've got a kid, isn't it?

-It is.

-She was fine earlier.

She can't have gone far. I'll find her and sort everything out.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

What's this?

Um... Well, er...it's, um...

There is so much to do.

-Have you seen his production schedule?

-Oh, yes.

An authentic Victorian Christmas dinner for the Cratchits. Honestly!

-EMMA LAUGHS

-And what about the wind machine

because he wants to create an ethereal atmosphere for the ghosts?

Without killing them in the process.

If they were dead, at least they'd be authentic!

Actual ghosts. A theatrical wonder!

Yeah, until they're arrested!

Seriously, though, is Heston always like this?

Well, I mean, I love him to bits,

but when he's being a luvvie, he just loses all reason.

We have got to find a way to rein in his expectations somehow.

Which is why I have made a list of essentials.

Nothing else happens unless there's time.

Narrow it down. Good thinking.

-These are his essentials?

-Afraid so.

LENA MOCK-SOBS

-EMMA LAUGHS

-Don't worry.

Look, we can start by getting rid of this, this, and this!

Brilliant! Can you do that?

-Oh, yeah. I can do anything. I'm the producer.

-Mm.

THEY CHUCKLE

It's from an online lab. It's a reputable one, as far as I know,

and, um...well, those are your results.

They compare the DNA of a child with that of the parent,

the, er...possible parent.

What's he saying?

Er...Dr Vere is saying that this seems to suggest that you are not...

Well, that you are not Billy's father.

Um...assuming that the swab was done correctly, that is.

I never done a swab.

Well... Well, in that case...

You can always do it while someone's sleeping.

I once read of a guy who'd had too many drinks and then his wife...

Well, er...thank you, Dr Vere - that is illegal.

If this is true, Mr Fielding, I am so sorry.

I don't understand what's happening!

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-I am so sorry, he insisted.

Dad!

JED SOBS

-Hey.

-Hey.

Sorry I'm late.

No pressure, then.

-Sorry?

-You've dressed up.

-No. It's nothing special.

-I think it is.

-Smile.

-No, I hate having my picture taken!

You look fantastic.

Hm?

Hm!

So, listen, I need your help.

There's this refugee programme starting up in Birmingham

and I really want to get on it.

-Aren't you a saint?

-Plus it will really help my postgrad.

-Maybe not so saint-like.

-Cheeky!

Anyway, I was hoping that you'd help me with the application.

-Of course I will.

-It's a church-led project, so I thought of you.

Yeah, I'd love to help. Who's it for?

Do you really not know how beautiful you are?

Max, you're getting a bit cheesy now. Dial it down.

Just nipping to the gents.

-Is this for real?!

-I'm afraid we don't know.

How could she do this to him?!

If he's not your baby...

I'd contact the lab, see what test they've done.

-..she's been with someone else!

-We both were.

When we split up, before I...

-You'd think she knew who got her pregnant!

-Not necessarily.

I've read estimates that around 4% of children aren't their father's child.

-I mean, the man who they think is their...

-OK, thank you, Dr Vere.

Well, there's no-one else involved, so she says,

but she's still heading back to her mum's.

-What, to Liverpool?!

-On the train.

-Son, come on!

-I need my van keys!

You're going nowhere in this state!

Look, Amber's got it all wrong. I need to talk to her.

It's a mix-up, she's confused.

Why the hell didn't you stop her?!

Look, I'm sorry, lad, but she's not confused.

-She knows it's going to destroy you, but she's doing it anyway.

-Don't say that!

-I love her!

-You've got to face it.

No! I'm not going to get through this!

You ARE going to get through this. Believe me.

I am going to ask Miss Pitman to make you a nice strong cup of tea.

And then you can talk this through calmly, OK?

It's important to remain proactive.

My father, God rest his soul, well, he taught me many things.

But the most useful was,

decide what you want and fight for it!

All right?

MRS TEMBE SIGHS

What do you think?

It's not quite right, is it?

Dr Vere's patient would like a cup of tea.

-Lovely.

-No.

I will make the tea, while you sort out...

EMMA LAUGHS

Oh! It's been ages since I had such a good laugh.

Me, too.

Honestly, I've had months of stress.

Did you hear I had cancer?

-Valerie did say.

-Course she did.

Actually, I think the worst thing was having everyone worry about me.

Especially the kids.

I suppose at least Valerie had work to focus on.

Oh, lucky her.

I had such a good job.

I'm actually quite good at PR, believe it or not.

-I can believe it!

-It just seemed so obvious.

Jack it in, concentrate on getting well.

All you do is worry, every second of the day.

-So, how about you?

-Me?

Have you had one of those lovely, charmed existences

I read about in glossy magazines?

Someone in the world must have a straightforward life.

Er...well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Um...no, not particularly lovely,

not charmed and definitely not straightforward.

Come on, then, spill.

Really? That one is going to need two enormous G&Ts.

LENA CHUCKLES

I've messed up again.

This isn't your fault. She was the one that was planning to leave!

Well, I...I cancelled her taxi.

She's probably booked another by now, anyway.

Look, Jed...yes, this is a crisis,

but you are strong enough to get through it, OK?

If I lose them both, then everything's over.

OK, look, you can give up, you can blame yourself,

OR...you can be proactive.

We should focus on Billy. I mean, what's best for him?

Look, son, I know it's tough, but you've got to think of yourself.

If you see her again, it could push you over the edge.

Am I just supposed to forget him?

I love him, I can't just switch that off!

Course you can't.

I need to talk to Amber.

No, son, not tonight, not in this state!

You need to be strong up here. You need a calm head,

or everything could turn pear-shaped again.

-I'll drive you to Liverpool tomorrow.

-No.

No, I've got to fight for her.

Mrs Tembe's right.

I'd forgotten how lame it is in here.

I thought you liked the Icon.

Not like this. Where's the atmos?

We could go somewhere else.

Or just call it a night.

We could possibly go back to mine, if you want to?

I'll look over your application, we can have a coffee.

Now, that's the best idea I've heard all day. Come on, let's go.

OK.

Yeah, OK, hang on!

I love him, Mrs Tembe. Doesn't that count for anything?

Of course it does. And I am sure that he loves you, too.

But you...you cannot drive all the way to Liverpool.

No, I'm heading home. I think she might still be there.

-Dad cancelled her taxi.

-You cannot drive in this state.

-You said, "Decide what you want."

-I know, but...

So...I've decided.

Well, can your father not drive you?

He won't. He thinks I'll mess it up again, like usual.

Well, you cannot drive alone.

-No choice.

-Oh!

Look, I will go with you.

Come.

Thanks.

My mum would love you, you know.

She loves men that help in the kitchen.

I didn't think we had a choice.

Well, you don't, obviously, but she thinks you do.

A woman's place and all that.

-She sounds a bit old-fashioned.

-Oh, she is.

Not like me. Not at all like me.

I'm quite...modern.

Huh!

No coffee. This is ridiculous!

Oh, well...

We can always skip convention.

What do you mean?

I hate coffee.

Me, too.

HE CHUCKLES

I did not!

We already missed one train!

Jed! Mrs Tembe! What are you doing here?!

-Hello, mate.

-Hello, Mrs Fielding.

Perhaps I should, er...take baby Billy into the next room, huh?

Thank you.

(All right, there you go.)

It was a shock for me, too.

Why do the test, Amber? I'd never have guessed.

I saw the bloke the other day. Passed him on the street.

-It was a one-night thing when we'd split. I told you about it.

-Yeah.

He didn't recognise me, but he was the spit of our Billy.

I thought, "It's a sign. I've got to do a test!"

HE SIGHS

-You could have talked to me.

-Sorry, but I had to be sure!

I thought, if Billy is yours, then I've got to keep working at it.

Make sure you never get depressed again, however hard that is.

You know I love you. I love you both.

Not when you swallowed all those pills, you didn't.

-I did.

-Not enough!

I was six months pregnant, for God's sake!

I thought you were looking forward to having a baby!

-I thought it would help!

-I'm so sorry.

I know it's stupid, but I thought,

if you weren't Billy's father, then maybe you deserve a fresh start.

-How do you mean?

-Well, I'm no good for you, am I?

I can't make you happy.

And now, with Billy not being yours, you deserve another chance.

With someone who can love you properly.

You've got it all backwards, love.

The depression was about losing my mum. It caught up with me.

That was years ago!

I was so young when she died, I never really accepted it.

Seeing you pregnant just...triggered something, I reckon.

But it was never about you or Billy.

I'm doing the counselling now.

I understand. I'm better.

How do I know it won't happen again?

How can I be sure?

When you're depressed, you feel like you've got no control.

Everything happens around you.

But look at me, I'm here now, aren't I?

I could've chucked myself off a cliff already.

-I suppose so.

-But I'm not going to.

Now, if you want to leave, then...I can't stop you.

If you don't want to be with me any more, then that is up to you.

I just think Billy needs all the love and support he can get.

So, in a nutshell, not a great couple of years.

I thought I had it bad.

You win on health, but I win on everything else.

Nightmare! I cannot believe you got through that in one piece.

Mm. I'm not sure I did.

I haven't always.

My behaviour of late has been a little risky.

-Good for you! I love a bit of danger therapy.

-Hm!

It sounds like you're through the worst now and back into the sunshine maybe.

Yeah, nearly.

But I've had the support of some good friends, so...

-Oh, do you mean, Valerie?

-No, no. She had enough to deal with.

I was thinking of my friend Niamh. She was amazing.

But unfortunately, she's no longer around.

Yeah. Steven was fantastic, but he always is.

He's great with the kids, he works incredibly hard.

-What more can you ask?

-Good for you.

Online dating, that's what you want to do.

Find someone nice who'll look after you, put you first.

No, I think with my luck, I'd end up with an axe-wielding murderer

who has mother issues.

Actually, I know what you mean about friendship.

My best mate moved to Australia a couple of years before I got sick.

Damn Australia!

She'd have been so supportive,

but what can you do from the other side of the world?

Mm. You can't beat a best friend.

You certainly cannot.

-Here's to best friends!

-To bezzie mates!

Oh, no! Is it that time already? I've got to go.

I've got a belligerent teenager at home to contend with.

That's a cinch in comparison to Heston.

I am really looking forward to working with you.

-All of you.

-Yeah, likewise.

You OK, love?

-Have you sorted things out?

-A bit.

Billy means the world to both of us, you know that.

I couldn't do without the little fella.

George loves you.

He needs you.

Don't do that, please, it's not fair!

What did I say?

Don't you think I need someone, too?

I'm not strong enough for us both. I'm not!

Yeah, but he's better now, he doesn't need so much help.

I can't go on any more!

I'm sorry, but I'm shattered!

I know you sort me out a lot, organise me and that, but...

You take as much looking after as Billy.

I am so sorry to interrupt, but Billy's fast asleep.

-Thank you.

-Shall I take you back?

Oh, no, thank you. I have a taxi waiting.

But before I go, I just wanted to say

that sometimes, after an illness,

one partner can feel

they are becoming more like a carer for the other.

Relationship counselling can be a great help.

We're grateful, Mrs Tembe.

Right. Well, you are most welcome. Goodbye.

That was really nice. Thank you.

Hm! I don't think I've ever been thanked before.

Oh. Sorry. I just meant...

Don't worry. I know exactly what you meant.

And you're very, very welcome.

You're back. So, did they, er...sort it out?

Well, I hope so.

Well, he's doing really well, so I reckon they'll be OK.

And...?

Wow, Valerie! It's beautiful!

-It's not too much?

-No.

Mrs Tembe?

Well, I will have to agree with Dr Vere.

It is perfect.

You have done a very tasteful job, Miss Pitman.

Oh, thank you! Both of you.

Back then, it was all I could do to get through the day.

There was nothing left here for anyone else.

I thought I was better off gone.

That you'd be better off, both of you.

-Jed, you don't have to explain.

-I do.

So you understand.

I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't thinking, full stop.

I needed help, and you were both there for me.

I've done everything I can, Jed.

There isn't any more!

-I'm sorry.

-I've got more now.

I've got so much more for both of us.

I'm better. And I'm never going to let myself get that bad again, I swear.

I've got you to think of. And Billy.

I'm so sorry he's not Jed's.

I'd do anything to change that.

He came into my world. That makes him mine.

Will you do the relationship counselling?

Yeah, I will.

Amber, you're my best mate, I never want to lose you.

I love you, Jed Fielding.

Well, Billy needs his bed. I'll, er...I'll go and take him up.

Dad? You sit down, I'll go.

No, don't!

We'll look back on today because this...was when it began.

What are you talking about?

Come on! Our first time together.

No, Max!

You said you enjoyed it.

Yeah, I did.

Just one? Come on!

Rosie-Posie? Oh, pretty please!

You look so sexy.

Oh, go on. Just one, that's all.

Smile.

Hm?

Yeah.

That's it.

Our happiest moment.

Now, then...where were we?

THEY GIGGLE

I have a but, and it's a big but.

The line is, "Lead on, spirit", not, "Giddy up, Spooky".

At the moment, it's going to end up being a whodunnit.

Who killed Heston Carter?

And I tell you now, there are no shortage of suspects.

-Right, you can open them. Ta-da!

-It's very festive.

I'm making an executive decision. You're fired.