There Is No Place Doctors

SOBBING

# Goodbye, the fire has stopped burning

# The bellows lie dead in the road

# Goodbye, the mill has stopped turning

# The miller has changed to a toad

# Goodbye, the journey was topping

# We saw all we wanted to see

# I really don't think I'll be stopping

# I think I'll go home and have tea. #

You don't mind clambering up there do you, Sergeant?

New suit.

You know what this is, don't you?

What? Breaking Bad.

They see some guy in a fumigation suit or some other bloke

with a face mask and it's all the 3-9s.

"It's a meth lab!" Is that right?

Is this of ANY interest to CID at all?

Does it look remotely like a drug factory?

Just give me a minute. I'm CID, my time's not cheap.

I shouldn't be dealing with this.

So what do you see?

Nothing?

Waste of time?

'Course it is.

Anything? No narcotics? No, nothing at all.

Like I said. Yeah, you were right, Sir.

Come on then. You can get back to clearing up your human detritus.

'How's it going with that swarm of

'homeless losers? Sponges, that's what they are.

'sucking up resources.

'You can't help them. My tax and they chuck benefits at them

'and what are they? Even bigger burdens on the state.

'How does anyone let themselves get that bad, eh?

'I ask you.'

ON LAPTOP: 'Bless you all!' MRS TEMBE LAUGHS

Divine intervention! Oh, what now?

Doctor Al Haskey has spent the night at the home of a vicar.

Oh, he'll have hated that. Oh, I don't think so.

According to this, SHE is rather "excellent!" She?!

Mysterious ways. Emma. Jimmi. I just wanted to say thank you

for looking after Cam yesterday.

You're welcome. I listened to your message and I held his hand.

It seemed to help a bit.

He was pretty upset about losing all his clothes though.

Forensics had to bag them all up.

But, um, I managed to find him a coat, so... I think by the end he was OK.

But you don't know where he went? Sorry.

Hey, listen, you two, I've got something to say and it's deadly serious.

About my rescue mission, last Wednesday.

I don't want Al to know you know. So keep it zipped, OK?

She's talking about you.

You.

You'll let me know the arrangements?

Mum pre-paid. A pre-paid plan. Nothing fancy.

She'll not want flowers.

She couldn't abide the waste of flowers at funerals.

I'd like to be there.

That'd be nice. Not having to see her off on my own.

I was exceptionally fond of your mother.

Come on, Andrew, jump in and I'll give you a lift to the bungalow.

You don't have to.

I know that you had to sell your car.

Gloria told me.

That's very decent of you, Dr Carmichael.

It's not a day for buses.

Hey, hey, wait! Wait! I'm discharged now.

Just hang on a minute.

You can't stop me going. What do you want? Um, You've been given some dressings.

It's really important you let the wound heal over. Let it dry. Yeah, I'm not stupid.

Come on.

Thanks. Yeah, um...

It's my contact details.

I'm not hard to find, you know, if you need me.

I am not saying that you will need me, but if you did.

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise her safety, I really wouldn't, Dave.

Fair enough.

Have you really found somewhere to stay?

Dave! Come on!

There. I am sorry, Andrew,

I don't mean to impose. No, no, no, it's fine.

Turn right and it's on the right.

Bulb's gone. Sorry.

More tea, Vicar? Please don't.

Look, we went over this last night, didn't we?

Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened.

That's what I'm doing. Fine. Right.

Yes. That's going to be easy isn't it?

What kind of Christian hospitality is it when a vicar offers herself to her guest?

"Let's just forget it!" What, forget that I flashed you my gear?

You were upset. It was a misunderstanding.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have hugged you.

I needed that hug.

You are such a gentleman and now I've ruined our friendship before it's even begun.

Whoa. Who said we were friends?

That's a little bit presumptuous, Kirsty, you're crossing the line there.

What's wrong with me? Nothing!

Nothing is wrong with you! Man up, woman!

Find the things that you want. Stop surrounding yourself

with past misery. What is it you want? You wanted to do your singing thing.

Please, drop it. It's not that easy. It IS that easy! You just find a song in your heart

and you let it out your mouth. Please...

# Singing songs! #

I haven't got the time! Then make the time. Why does it even matter to you?

It matters to me because...

someone I like is messing themselves up.

And that someone is you.

OK.

But only if you come with me.

You're going into Lichfield anyway.

I will not set foot in that cathedral.

What if I said I can't do it on my own?

I will not set foot in that cathedral.

KNOCK ON FRONT DOOR OF HOUSE

Open up!

Andrew, what's going on?

How long has the electricity been off?

How could I look after Mum and go to work?

I couldn't. Of course. There's been no money.

What about unemployment benefit? Not if you leave a job.

So you didn't apply for a carer's allowance then, did you?

What is going on?

You've got nothing to lose, Kirsty.

Stop distracting me.

I had a friend who had a vegetable garden.

My mate used to grow prize-winning marrows, potatoes and other things you'd find in a vegetable garden.

Flapjacks for the soup kitchen. Please, leave me be.

Well, what my mate really wanted to grow was flowers.

Now, he knew the importance of his five-a-day veg

but petunias, roses, agapanthus,

that's what made his heart a-flutter.

I know you're making this up. I'm not making it up,

it's a true story! My mate's name was...

It was Percy.

So what happened? Cross-pollination.

His veg was never finer nor more fecund, and Percy himself,

well, he was happy because he had his flowers.

I cannot believe you're trying to parable me.

Well, some people put a lot of store by parables.

I know Percy did.

"Notice to quit" may not need to be taken literally.

But in any case, you've got nothing to lose, Andrew. You're right.

I'll go to the housing office. Excellent.

They'll understand, won't they? When I explain about Mum being ill and passing away.

It's not like I've ever been a scrounger. I'm sure they'll listen.

At the job centre when I told them I'd left work, well...

But this is different. They have to help people who really need help.

Let me know how you get on. Yes, yes. How can they help me if I don't ask them to? They can't.

I'll let you know what happens, soon as I've got it sorted.

Be sure that you do.

So there's been no sign of Cam Lewis? 'Wherever he is, he's not attracting our attention.'

He could be anywhere.

Where are they supposed to go, Rob? People like Cam? Where? You didn't hear this from me, right,

but up on the Bairstow Business Park, there's

an empty office. It used to be a paper mill.

Somebody might be setting up a squat there.

Might be. Might be? Give it a few hours

and word'll get around. But you did not hear it from me, OK?

All right, thanks, Rob. Bye.

Are they...?

They're new, aren't they? Out of plastic, not out of a skip.

There's no pee, poo or blood stains and there's no bed bugs.

I got a deal.

I got a spark to hook us in. It's all safe and totally illegal.

Re-routes-R-Us.

All this space! Will there be others?

There's another four rooms, they'll soon be full - word got out.

There's loos, there's even hot water.

I reckon this'll do us right until the baby comes and then

we'll take it from there, whatever you want to do.

How did you get this, eh? How?

It's safe, that's all that matters.

I can't stop thinking about Tommy... Don't.

..floating in the water.

Shaz, he met the wrong people in the wrong place.

I know.

New mattresses! Hot water.

Spill it, Dave Preston, where'd you get this kind of money from?

You withdrew ?2,000 from the joint account?

Yes, I did. I needed cash. What for?!

To maintain the domain on The Granger Clinic website

and to pay for some top drawer SEO.

Search engine... Optimisation, yes, I know what that is.

And you paid for this in cash? Yeah, because it greases the wheels.

As does a bank transfer. Oh, Daniel, this isn't dodgy, is it?

Of course it's not. OK, cash is trendy.

Hipsters need cash to shop in pop-up shops.

Your tech guys are hipsters?

Yeah, they play darts in their office in an ironic, postmodern way.

Honestly, Daniel! This had better be above board.

You did get an invoice, did you?

Yeah.

Fine, in the spirit of financial openness I feel like I should

mention my new coat. Your new coat?

I may have given you the impression it was rather

more of a bargain than it actually was.

It wasn't ?180, it was ?680.

Which is neither ironic, nor postmodern.

See, what we need here is a time machine.

Had you applied for Carer's Allowance

when you first moved back, this could have been a whole other story.

She was me mother. I didn't want to be paid for looking after her.

There are always problems with retrospectives.

If you'd entered into communication with your landlord earlier...

He wasn't my landlord. There's nothing I can do about the eviction.

Oh.

Now, I've been looking at a hostel.

Well, I mean, if I have to, but not for long.

When I get the funeral out the way I'll get a job

and find a flat, or a room - I don't need much.

Yeah, but there's a problem. There was a hostel

I thought might have a space, Burr House.

I know where it is - it's not far. Yeah, but it turns out

I'm using old data.

It's shut down as of Monday.

Oh. Redevelopment.

Oh. So my best advice is to try the hostels and B in Birmingham.

Birmingham? I mean, they're stretched but there's a chance

if you knock on the doors there might be a last minute place

or someone hasn't turned up.

But what's essential is that you get and keep a roof over your head

because then it'll be so much easier to get a job.

I don't need much. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

Really, I am.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Support services have been outsourced.

Nobody will be here next week. Outsourced?

So you're... Redundant, yeah.

HE INHALES Thank you.

Oh, wow, that is what I call a stick!

It's for you. Yeah, but how's Gandalf going to cope without it?

Ric was a Tolkien nerd. If he knew I was giving this away,

he'd be incandescent. Then I accept it with pleasure.

Thank you. Turn the big lock and stuff these

through the letterbox when you leave. Why?

Where are you going? I've got some errands to run

and I'll need to get a wiggle on

if I'm going to make it to the cathedral.

Oh, she's going to do it. Yes! You manned up! I'm so pleased.

So what's it going to be? It's going to be Bette Midler, right?

I'm manning up, I'm not going nuts.

Come on, Wind Beneath My Wings. Thank you.

It was the parable that did it, wasn't it?

I know this is going to drive you nuts, but...

I don't care.

I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life.

And I pray that He'll keep His eye on you.

OK. All done?

It's fine. Just, you know, as long as you don't bless me.

Thank you. No, thank you.

(Bless you.)

HE EXHALES

SHE LAUGHS, HE SIGHS

Good luck.

KNOCKING ON DOOR Come in.

I don't want to be a bother.

No, you're not. Come in.

How did you get on?

Not so good.

Really? I'm going back home to the bungalow

to pack a few bits up, then I've got to try

and find a hostel or a B and B, probably in Birmingham.

Really?

Oh, it's no good saying, "Oh, poor me."

Not now. I'm the one who buried his head in the sand.

I'm the one who let this happen.

Andrew, a-are you all right for cash?

Oh, don't do that, Dr Carmichael.

No, of course not. Sorry.

I just popped by to let you know what's what.

I've got a few quid put by for emergencies at home.

I'll be all right. I just p-p...

You said to let you know.

And thanks again for this morning.

What a day, eh?

What a day.

DOOR CLICKS SHUT

PHONE RINGS

SHE SIGHS

Cam!

Yes, it's me.

Oh, Shaz, what happened in the hospital?

Is the baby all right? What about you?

I'm fine. Really?

Had a little operation, but me and the baby are OK.

They cut you open? Just a tiny bit.

Mate, glad you found us.

Yeah. What about you?

I heard.

How could they think it were you?

(Come here.)

Do you want an orange? Mm.

Vitamin C. You have to look after yourself, Shaz.

I'd have told anybody - anybody that asked me...

you wouldn't have hurt Tommy. I tried to help Tommy.

I'm sorry I wasn't around. I'm sorry you had to be in the hospital.

I've got it covered. Good, good. Really good.

Everything is. No. Not Tommy.

Tommy tried to talk to me and he couldn't.

What do you mean he couldn't? Because his mouth was full of blood.

'My name is Tommy and I want to talk to you about being homeless.

'It's horrible.

'When I decided to do this vlog, I was mostly worried

'about two things -

'being cold and frightened.

'I thought most rough sleepers had mental health issues.

'Some of them do...

'but mostly homeless people are angry.

'And they are cold. Physically cold.

'Sometimes they are literally freezing.

'I mean, get that cold and anybody would take drugs.

'And anybody would want a drink.

'Trust me, the cold can make you mad.

'OK, think of a tramp.

'What do you think of?

'A picturesque old-timer with silver stubble and

'a knotted hankie at the end of a stick?

'Knight of the road?

'That's rot. Imagine your grandmother

'living on the streets with nothing to eat.

'People become homeless when they're not strong,

'when they are dealing with bereavement,

'or illness, or there's a crisis in their lives.

'And the constant question remains, "Why do they let it happen?"

'That's easy. But how can we stop it?

'I don't know.

'But what I do know, is that homeless people are ordinary people,

'and that homelessness HAPPENED to them.

'After all, we're all three pay cheques away

'from it happening to us.

'Homeless people do get angry.

'And with no power and no control, it will make you that way.

'It'll also make you scared.

'I'm scared.

'This is Tommy, and I'm signing out.'

Erasmus Darwin was a physician

and a poet, whose diverse interests included

biology, botany and technology.

He lived right here, in the heart of Lichfield,

from 1756 until 1781.

Lichfield being some 37 miles...

I'm going to repeat that for them. Erasmus.

37 long, hard, hilly, sore-on-my-feet miles

from Letherbridge.

Erasmus was, of course,

grandfather to Mr Origin of Species, Charles Darwin.

Charlie's grandpa sure did set the bar high.

OK, now come this way, and try and get the silhouette in.

Erasmus numbered amongst

his friends some of the worlds great thinkers

and most awe-inspiring minds.

Benjamin Franklin, James Watt,

Josiah Wedgwood, William Small,

Matthew Boulton. It's quite a club.

The legendary Lunar Society.

They used to meet in the 1760s at Soho House in Birmingham,

but also probably right in this very room.

HE SNIFFS

It's a shame that my phone hasn't got Smell-O-Vision,

cos there's a distinct whiff of... HE SNIFFS

..genius in the air.

They called themselves the Lunar Society, or "lunarticks",

because they used to meet on nights with a full moon.

There's no street lamps, no cat's eyes,

no infra red - the moonlight brought them together,

and it lit their way home again.

Thank you. I'll take it from here. Cheers, I really appreciate it.

A herbalist and a healer -

the original inventor of the stabilising axel -

four jointed rods in the form of an isosceles trapezium -

which remains central in motor engineering, even today.

He believed in equality.

He predicted mechanical flight.

This was an extraordinary man!

He is my hero.

The, erm... The three spires of Lichfield Cathedral,

where Erasmus attended.

And where his notions of equality and freedom

were preached against with derision and scorn.

This is really cool.

Now, this used to be the front door.

But when Erasmus fell out with the Church and God,

he redesigned his house, and made this the back door.

That showed 'em.

HE CLAPS DOOR KNOCKER

Erasmus Darwin, are you in today?

THUNDER RUMBLES, BIRDS CAW

THUNDER RUMBLES

Who are you? I'm...looking for Cam. I'm his doctor.

What's this, then - home visit?(!)

Is he here? How did you find out about "here"?

I heard. Who from? It doesn't really matter, I just...

Can't trust him.

You know him?

Whoa. Dave.

Look, shout us if you need us, yeah?

We're just here.

I just wanted to explain... You let me down.

They would have ID'd you, Cam. They would have come for you,

and they wouldn't have come lightly.

I couldn't get out of court... I couldn't get out cos they locked me up.

I made sure Emma looked after you, though.

Made sure she understood.

She held your hand? Mm.

It's good she held my hand. You thought you saw me stab him.

You shoved your hands in your pockets and you walked away.

No, It wasn't like that - I didn't know what I'd seen. Me and Tommy.

I held on till I had to let him go.

Emma told me she got you a new coat.

Yeah.

I'm here if you need me.

I don't.

# Amazing Grace

# How sweet the sound... #

THEY CHATTER AGGRESSIVELY

# That saved a wretch

# Like me

# I once was lost

# But now I'm found

# Was blind but now

# I see

# Through many dangers

# Toils and snares

# I have already come... #

HE SOBS

# Tis Grace has brought... #

HE MOANS AND SOBS

# Me safe thus far... #

Hey, mate?

Need a hand?

# And grace will lead

# Me home... #

She wants us to test drive this new software

that she's installed, so we can talk via the computer.

Oh, like Facetime?

I did try to tempt him with a tin of salmon when we got home,

but he just sat and glared at me from inside the tumble dryer.

'Hello? Are you receiving me at The Mill?'

Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

'Dear Vic, my news is that unexpectedly

'I'm a live-in nanny for a single mum with two boys in North London.'

Nina?

Do you actually like children?

Boys!

If I didn't it'd be a silly time to say so, wouldn't it?

'I think I might be happy here,

'even though the best looking boy in the street

'already thinks I'm hopeless.'