There Is No Place Doctors


There Is No Place

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SOBBING

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# Goodbye, the fire has stopped burning

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# The bellows lie dead in the road

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# Goodbye, the mill has stopped turning

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# The miller has changed to a toad

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# Goodbye, the journey was topping

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# We saw all we wanted to see

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# I really don't think I'll be stopping

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# I think I'll go home and have tea. #

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You don't mind clambering up there do you, Sergeant?

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New suit.

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You know what this is, don't you?

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What? Breaking Bad.

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They see some guy in a fumigation suit or some other bloke

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with a face mask and it's all the 3-9s.

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"It's a meth lab!" Is that right?

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Is this of ANY interest to CID at all?

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Does it look remotely like a drug factory?

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Just give me a minute. I'm CID, my time's not cheap.

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I shouldn't be dealing with this.

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So what do you see?

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Nothing?

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Waste of time?

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'Course it is.

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Anything? No narcotics? No, nothing at all.

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Like I said. Yeah, you were right, Sir.

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Come on then. You can get back to clearing up your human detritus.

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'How's it going with that swarm of

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'homeless losers? Sponges, that's what they are.

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'sucking up resources.

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'You can't help them. My tax and they chuck benefits at them

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'and what are they? Even bigger burdens on the state.

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'How does anyone let themselves get that bad, eh?

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'I ask you.'

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ON LAPTOP: 'Bless you all!' MRS TEMBE LAUGHS

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Divine intervention! Oh, what now?

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Doctor Al Haskey has spent the night at the home of a vicar.

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Oh, he'll have hated that. Oh, I don't think so.

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According to this, SHE is rather "excellent!" She?!

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Mysterious ways. Emma. Jimmi. I just wanted to say thank you

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for looking after Cam yesterday.

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You're welcome. I listened to your message and I held his hand.

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It seemed to help a bit.

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He was pretty upset about losing all his clothes though.

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Forensics had to bag them all up.

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But, um, I managed to find him a coat, so... I think by the end he was OK.

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But you don't know where he went? Sorry.

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Hey, listen, you two, I've got something to say and it's deadly serious.

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About my rescue mission, last Wednesday.

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I don't want Al to know you know. So keep it zipped, OK?

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She's talking about you.

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You.

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You'll let me know the arrangements?

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Mum pre-paid. A pre-paid plan. Nothing fancy.

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She'll not want flowers.

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She couldn't abide the waste of flowers at funerals.

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I'd like to be there.

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That'd be nice. Not having to see her off on my own.

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I was exceptionally fond of your mother.

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Come on, Andrew, jump in and I'll give you a lift to the bungalow.

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You don't have to.

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I know that you had to sell your car.

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Gloria told me.

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That's very decent of you, Dr Carmichael.

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It's not a day for buses.

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Hey, hey, wait! Wait! I'm discharged now.

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Just hang on a minute.

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You can't stop me going. What do you want? Um, You've been given some dressings.

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It's really important you let the wound heal over. Let it dry. Yeah, I'm not stupid.

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Come on.

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Thanks. Yeah, um...

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It's my contact details.

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I'm not hard to find, you know, if you need me.

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I am not saying that you will need me, but if you did.

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I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise her safety, I really wouldn't, Dave.

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Fair enough.

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Have you really found somewhere to stay?

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Dave! Come on!

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There. I am sorry, Andrew,

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I don't mean to impose. No, no, no, it's fine.

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Turn right and it's on the right.

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Bulb's gone. Sorry.

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More tea, Vicar? Please don't.

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Look, we went over this last night, didn't we?

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Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened.

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That's what I'm doing. Fine. Right.

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Yes. That's going to be easy isn't it?

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What kind of Christian hospitality is it when a vicar offers herself to her guest?

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"Let's just forget it!" What, forget that I flashed you my gear?

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You were upset. It was a misunderstanding.

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In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have hugged you.

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I needed that hug.

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You are such a gentleman and now I've ruined our friendship before it's even begun.

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Whoa. Who said we were friends?

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That's a little bit presumptuous, Kirsty, you're crossing the line there.

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What's wrong with me? Nothing!

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Nothing is wrong with you! Man up, woman!

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Find the things that you want. Stop surrounding yourself

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with past misery. What is it you want? You wanted to do your singing thing.

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Please, drop it. It's not that easy. It IS that easy! You just find a song in your heart

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and you let it out your mouth. Please...

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# Singing songs! #

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I haven't got the time! Then make the time. Why does it even matter to you?

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It matters to me because...

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someone I like is messing themselves up.

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And that someone is you.

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OK.

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But only if you come with me.

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You're going into Lichfield anyway.

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I will not set foot in that cathedral.

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What if I said I can't do it on my own?

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I will not set foot in that cathedral.

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KNOCK ON FRONT DOOR OF HOUSE

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Open up!

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Andrew, what's going on?

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How long has the electricity been off?

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How could I look after Mum and go to work?

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I couldn't. Of course. There's been no money.

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What about unemployment benefit? Not if you leave a job.

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So you didn't apply for a carer's allowance then, did you?

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What is going on?

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You've got nothing to lose, Kirsty.

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Stop distracting me.

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I had a friend who had a vegetable garden.

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My mate used to grow prize-winning marrows, potatoes and other things you'd find in a vegetable garden.

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Flapjacks for the soup kitchen. Please, leave me be.

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Well, what my mate really wanted to grow was flowers.

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Now, he knew the importance of his five-a-day veg

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but petunias, roses, agapanthus,

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that's what made his heart a-flutter.

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I know you're making this up. I'm not making it up,

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it's a true story! My mate's name was...

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It was Percy.

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So what happened? Cross-pollination.

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His veg was never finer nor more fecund, and Percy himself,

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well, he was happy because he had his flowers.

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I cannot believe you're trying to parable me.

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Well, some people put a lot of store by parables.

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I know Percy did.

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"Notice to quit" may not need to be taken literally.

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But in any case, you've got nothing to lose, Andrew. You're right.

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I'll go to the housing office. Excellent.

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They'll understand, won't they? When I explain about Mum being ill and passing away.

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It's not like I've ever been a scrounger. I'm sure they'll listen.

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At the job centre when I told them I'd left work, well...

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But this is different. They have to help people who really need help.

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Let me know how you get on. Yes, yes. How can they help me if I don't ask them to? They can't.

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I'll let you know what happens, soon as I've got it sorted.

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Be sure that you do.

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So there's been no sign of Cam Lewis? 'Wherever he is, he's not attracting our attention.'

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He could be anywhere.

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Where are they supposed to go, Rob? People like Cam? Where? You didn't hear this from me, right,

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but up on the Bairstow Business Park, there's

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an empty office. It used to be a paper mill.

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Somebody might be setting up a squat there.

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Might be. Might be? Give it a few hours

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and word'll get around. But you did not hear it from me, OK?

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All right, thanks, Rob. Bye.

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Are they...?

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They're new, aren't they? Out of plastic, not out of a skip.

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There's no pee, poo or blood stains and there's no bed bugs.

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I got a deal.

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I got a spark to hook us in. It's all safe and totally illegal.

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Re-routes-R-Us.

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All this space! Will there be others?

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There's another four rooms, they'll soon be full - word got out.

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There's loos, there's even hot water.

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I reckon this'll do us right until the baby comes and then

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we'll take it from there, whatever you want to do.

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How did you get this, eh? How?

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It's safe, that's all that matters.

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I can't stop thinking about Tommy... Don't.

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..floating in the water.

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Shaz, he met the wrong people in the wrong place.

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I know.

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New mattresses! Hot water.

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Spill it, Dave Preston, where'd you get this kind of money from?

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You withdrew ?2,000 from the joint account?

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Yes, I did. I needed cash. What for?!

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To maintain the domain on The Granger Clinic website

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and to pay for some top drawer SEO.

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Search engine... Optimisation, yes, I know what that is.

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And you paid for this in cash? Yeah, because it greases the wheels.

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As does a bank transfer. Oh, Daniel, this isn't dodgy, is it?

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Of course it's not. OK, cash is trendy.

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Hipsters need cash to shop in pop-up shops.

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Your tech guys are hipsters?

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Yeah, they play darts in their office in an ironic, postmodern way.

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Honestly, Daniel! This had better be above board.

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You did get an invoice, did you?

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Yeah.

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Fine, in the spirit of financial openness I feel like I should

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mention my new coat. Your new coat?

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I may have given you the impression it was rather

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more of a bargain than it actually was.

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It wasn't ?180, it was ?680.

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Which is neither ironic, nor postmodern.

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See, what we need here is a time machine.

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Had you applied for Carer's Allowance

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when you first moved back, this could have been a whole other story.

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She was me mother. I didn't want to be paid for looking after her.

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There are always problems with retrospectives.

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If you'd entered into communication with your landlord earlier...

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He wasn't my landlord. There's nothing I can do about the eviction.

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Oh.

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Now, I've been looking at a hostel.

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Well, I mean, if I have to, but not for long.

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When I get the funeral out the way I'll get a job

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and find a flat, or a room - I don't need much.

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Yeah, but there's a problem. There was a hostel

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I thought might have a space, Burr House.

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I know where it is - it's not far. Yeah, but it turns out

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I'm using old data.

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It's shut down as of Monday.

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Oh. Redevelopment.

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Oh. So my best advice is to try the hostels and B in Birmingham.

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Birmingham? I mean, they're stretched but there's a chance

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if you knock on the doors there might be a last minute place

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or someone hasn't turned up.

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But what's essential is that you get and keep a roof over your head

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because then it'll be so much easier to get a job.

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I don't need much. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

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Really, I am.

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I'll let you know how I get on.

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Support services have been outsourced.

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Nobody will be here next week. Outsourced?

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So you're... Redundant, yeah.

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HE INHALES Thank you.

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Oh, wow, that is what I call a stick!

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It's for you. Yeah, but how's Gandalf going to cope without it?

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Ric was a Tolkien nerd. If he knew I was giving this away,

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he'd be incandescent. Then I accept it with pleasure.

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Thank you. Turn the big lock and stuff these

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through the letterbox when you leave. Why?

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Where are you going? I've got some errands to run

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and I'll need to get a wiggle on

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if I'm going to make it to the cathedral.

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Oh, she's going to do it. Yes! You manned up! I'm so pleased.

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So what's it going to be? It's going to be Bette Midler, right?

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I'm manning up, I'm not going nuts.

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Come on, Wind Beneath My Wings. Thank you.

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It was the parable that did it, wasn't it?

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I know this is going to drive you nuts, but...

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I don't care.

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I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life.

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And I pray that He'll keep His eye on you.

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OK. All done?

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It's fine. Just, you know, as long as you don't bless me.

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Thank you. No, thank you.

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(Bless you.)

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HE EXHALES

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SHE LAUGHS, HE SIGHS

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Good luck.

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KNOCKING ON DOOR Come in.

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I don't want to be a bother.

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No, you're not. Come in.

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How did you get on?

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Not so good.

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Really? I'm going back home to the bungalow

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to pack a few bits up, then I've got to try

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and find a hostel or a B and B, probably in Birmingham.

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Really?

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Oh, it's no good saying, "Oh, poor me."

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Not now. I'm the one who buried his head in the sand.

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I'm the one who let this happen.

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Andrew, a-are you all right for cash?

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Oh, don't do that, Dr Carmichael.

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No, of course not. Sorry.

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I just popped by to let you know what's what.

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I've got a few quid put by for emergencies at home.

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I'll be all right. I just p-p...

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You said to let you know.

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And thanks again for this morning.

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What a day, eh?

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What a day.

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DOOR CLICKS SHUT

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PHONE RINGS

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SHE SIGHS

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Cam!

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Yes, it's me.

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Oh, Shaz, what happened in the hospital?

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Is the baby all right? What about you?

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I'm fine. Really?

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Had a little operation, but me and the baby are OK.

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They cut you open? Just a tiny bit.

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Mate, glad you found us.

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Yeah. What about you?

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I heard.

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How could they think it were you?

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(Come here.)

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Do you want an orange? Mm.

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Vitamin C. You have to look after yourself, Shaz.

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I'd have told anybody - anybody that asked me...

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you wouldn't have hurt Tommy. I tried to help Tommy.

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I'm sorry I wasn't around. I'm sorry you had to be in the hospital.

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I've got it covered. Good, good. Really good.

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Everything is. No. Not Tommy.

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Tommy tried to talk to me and he couldn't.

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What do you mean he couldn't? Because his mouth was full of blood.

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'My name is Tommy and I want to talk to you about being homeless.

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'It's horrible.

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'When I decided to do this vlog, I was mostly worried

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'about two things -

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'being cold and frightened.

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'I thought most rough sleepers had mental health issues.

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'Some of them do...

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'but mostly homeless people are angry.

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'And they are cold. Physically cold.

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'Sometimes they are literally freezing.

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'I mean, get that cold and anybody would take drugs.

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'And anybody would want a drink.

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'Trust me, the cold can make you mad.

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'OK, think of a tramp.

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'What do you think of?

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'A picturesque old-timer with silver stubble and

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'a knotted hankie at the end of a stick?

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'Knight of the road?

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'That's rot. Imagine your grandmother

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'living on the streets with nothing to eat.

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'People become homeless when they're not strong,

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'when they are dealing with bereavement,

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'or illness, or there's a crisis in their lives.

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'And the constant question remains, "Why do they let it happen?"

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'That's easy. But how can we stop it?

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'I don't know.

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'But what I do know, is that homeless people are ordinary people,

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'and that homelessness HAPPENED to them.

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'After all, we're all three pay cheques away

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'from it happening to us.

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'Homeless people do get angry.

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'And with no power and no control, it will make you that way.

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'It'll also make you scared.

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'I'm scared.

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'This is Tommy, and I'm signing out.'

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Erasmus Darwin was a physician

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and a poet, whose diverse interests included

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biology, botany and technology.

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He lived right here, in the heart of Lichfield,

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from 1756 until 1781.

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Lichfield being some 37 miles...

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I'm going to repeat that for them. Erasmus.

0:20:410:20:43

37 long, hard, hilly, sore-on-my-feet miles

0:20:430:20:49

from Letherbridge.

0:20:490:20:51

Erasmus was, of course,

0:20:510:20:53

grandfather to Mr Origin of Species, Charles Darwin.

0:20:530:20:56

Charlie's grandpa sure did set the bar high.

0:20:570:21:00

OK, now come this way, and try and get the silhouette in.

0:21:020:21:05

Erasmus numbered amongst

0:21:070:21:10

his friends some of the worlds great thinkers

0:21:100:21:12

and most awe-inspiring minds.

0:21:120:21:15

Benjamin Franklin, James Watt,

0:21:150:21:18

Josiah Wedgwood, William Small,

0:21:180:21:22

Matthew Boulton. It's quite a club.

0:21:220:21:25

The legendary Lunar Society.

0:21:250:21:28

They used to meet in the 1760s at Soho House in Birmingham,

0:21:280:21:31

but also probably right in this very room.

0:21:310:21:35

HE SNIFFS

0:21:350:21:37

It's a shame that my phone hasn't got Smell-O-Vision,

0:21:370:21:40

cos there's a distinct whiff of... HE SNIFFS

0:21:400:21:42

..genius in the air.

0:21:420:21:44

They called themselves the Lunar Society, or "lunarticks",

0:21:440:21:47

because they used to meet on nights with a full moon.

0:21:470:21:51

There's no street lamps, no cat's eyes,

0:21:510:21:53

no infra red - the moonlight brought them together,

0:21:530:21:58

and it lit their way home again.

0:21:580:22:00

Thank you. I'll take it from here. Cheers, I really appreciate it.

0:22:020:22:05

A herbalist and a healer -

0:22:050:22:07

the original inventor of the stabilising axel -

0:22:070:22:10

four jointed rods in the form of an isosceles trapezium -

0:22:100:22:13

which remains central in motor engineering, even today.

0:22:130:22:17

He believed in equality.

0:22:170:22:19

He predicted mechanical flight.

0:22:190:22:22

This was an extraordinary man!

0:22:220:22:25

He is my hero.

0:22:250:22:28

The, erm... The three spires of Lichfield Cathedral,

0:22:280:22:32

where Erasmus attended.

0:22:320:22:34

And where his notions of equality and freedom

0:22:340:22:38

were preached against with derision and scorn.

0:22:380:22:41

This is really cool.

0:22:410:22:43

Now, this used to be the front door.

0:22:430:22:47

But when Erasmus fell out with the Church and God,

0:22:470:22:49

he redesigned his house, and made this the back door.

0:22:490:22:52

That showed 'em.

0:22:520:22:53

HE CLAPS DOOR KNOCKER

0:22:540:22:55

Erasmus Darwin, are you in today?

0:22:570:22:58

THUNDER RUMBLES, BIRDS CAW

0:23:010:23:02

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:23:130:23:15

Who are you? I'm...looking for Cam. I'm his doctor.

0:23:290:23:32

What's this, then - home visit?(!)

0:23:320:23:35

Is he here? How did you find out about "here"?

0:23:350:23:38

I heard. Who from? It doesn't really matter, I just...

0:23:380:23:41

Can't trust him.

0:23:410:23:43

You know him?

0:23:430:23:44

Whoa. Dave.

0:23:460:23:48

Look, shout us if you need us, yeah?

0:23:500:23:52

We're just here.

0:23:540:23:55

I just wanted to explain... You let me down.

0:24:020:24:04

They would have ID'd you, Cam. They would have come for you,

0:24:070:24:09

and they wouldn't have come lightly.

0:24:090:24:11

I couldn't get out of court... I couldn't get out cos they locked me up.

0:24:110:24:14

I made sure Emma looked after you, though.

0:24:140:24:17

Made sure she understood.

0:24:170:24:19

She held your hand? Mm.

0:24:200:24:22

It's good she held my hand. You thought you saw me stab him.

0:24:220:24:26

You shoved your hands in your pockets and you walked away.

0:24:260:24:28

No, It wasn't like that - I didn't know what I'd seen. Me and Tommy.

0:24:280:24:33

I held on till I had to let him go.

0:24:330:24:35

Emma told me she got you a new coat.

0:24:380:24:41

Yeah.

0:24:410:24:42

I'm here if you need me.

0:24:430:24:45

I don't.

0:24:450:24:47

# Amazing Grace

0:24:490:24:55

# How sweet the sound... #

0:24:550:24:58

THEY CHATTER AGGRESSIVELY

0:24:580:25:00

# That saved a wretch

0:25:020:25:07

# Like me

0:25:080:25:10

# I once was lost

0:25:140:25:18

# But now I'm found

0:25:200:25:25

# Was blind but now

0:25:270:25:32

# I see

0:25:320:25:35

# Through many dangers

0:25:370:25:43

# Toils and snares

0:25:430:25:47

# I have already come... #

0:25:470:25:53

HE SOBS

0:25:540:25:56

# Tis Grace has brought... #

0:25:570:26:00

HE MOANS AND SOBS

0:26:000:26:01

# Me safe thus far... #

0:26:030:26:05

Hey, mate?

0:26:050:26:07

Need a hand?

0:26:090:26:10

# And grace will lead

0:26:100:26:14

# Me home... #

0:26:140:26:18

She wants us to test drive this new software

0:26:240:26:26

that she's installed, so we can talk via the computer.

0:26:260:26:28

Oh, like Facetime?

0:26:280:26:29

I did try to tempt him with a tin of salmon when we got home,

0:26:290:26:32

but he just sat and glared at me from inside the tumble dryer.

0:26:320:26:35

'Hello? Are you receiving me at The Mill?'

0:26:350:26:38

Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:26:410:26:43

'Dear Vic, my news is that unexpectedly

0:27:130:27:16

'I'm a live-in nanny for a single mum with two boys in North London.'

0:27:160:27:19

Nina?

0:27:190:27:21

Do you actually like children?

0:27:210:27:22

Boys!

0:27:220:27:23

If I didn't it'd be a silly time to say so, wouldn't it?

0:27:230:27:26

'I think I might be happy here,

0:27:260:27:28

'even though the best looking boy in the street

0:27:280:27:31

'already thinks I'm hopeless.'

0:27:310:27:33

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