The Talking Cure Doctors

-Hello! You know we're not actually open until...

-I know.

Are you drawing The Mill?

-Are you a patient?

-I'm a concerned citizen.

Is this about yesterday?

Why? What happened yesterday?

Nothing.

There's no need to rush back to work.

You take as much time you need.

Everybody sends their love and said to say that they're thinking of you.

Emma, stop. We really don't need you to do this.

-Do what? I was just...

-No, we're absolutely fine.

-Aren't we?

-Yeah.

-Hey, champ!

-Hi, Joe.

HE CHUCKLES

Oh, this is Emma.

She's a friend of Mummy and Daddy's, so it's fine to talk to her.

Hello, Joe.

Hello. Are you coming shopping with us?

Oh, I wish I was! But I've got to go to work.

Well, we're definitely going, so why don't we go upstairs and get dressed?

And then YOU can choose whatever toy you want.

Aren't you lucky? What are you going to choose?

Biggest truck ever!

-Good for you!

-Come on.

-Listen...

-If you offer me any type of support, I swear I will lose it.

Zara, if there is anything I can do...

I know. Thank you.

We're fine.

OK.

Yeah, but what if you hadn't have found him?

I mean, poor little Joe! It doesn't bear thinking about.

No. Right, I'd better go.

Oh, no, no! You've forgotten these.

Cheese and pickle.

I asked for ham.

Did you?

No, I specifically asked for ham! Karen, I asked for ham sandwiches!

-I mean, can't you get anything right?

-I thought you liked cheese...

I do like cheese and pickle! That's not the point, is it?

I like cheese and pickle,

but I wanted ham! Is that too much to ask for?

OK, so we're not talking about sandwiches. What's the matter?

What if I hadn't have found Joe?

But you did.

But what if I hadn't?

It's like Marnie all over again.

Oh, no, it's very different.

HE SIGHS

-I'd better go to work.

-We need to talk about thi...

-No. I need to go.

You forgot...

Oh, right, good, you are all here.

Look, er, can I have a moment of your time?

Yeah, just a minute, who's that bloke?

Look, I am sure you are all aware of the lies and vitriol that have been

directed against us online over the last few weeks.

It made very grim reading.

Yeah, imagine saying that we should be shut down!

Typical troll! Ignore it.

Well, I'm sorry, we cannot do that.

Yesterday, I had a very difficult meeting with the chair of the CCG.

And he's concerned about patient perception of The Mill

as a result of all of these comments.

And he has insisted that we take action before it gets any worse.

OK, so what's that bloke got to do with it?

That...is our troll.

What? What the hell's he doing here?

I have invited him here to shadow us.

-Oh!

-Why?

Because...because I think it is

important that we talk to people we do not agree with.

You didn't sanction this at all, did you?

The chair of the CCG forced your hand!

No, no, not at all.

Look, I agree that something had to be done.

So I need you all to be on your best behaviour.

So what, do you want us to sugar-coat things?

On the contrary. I want him to see the absolute truth.

I am confident we can convince him that we

always do our very best, and change his mind.

You have our full support, Mrs Tembe.

Right. Thank you, Dr Carter.

-Oh, I missed all that. What's happened?

-Ooh!

Everyone, this is Mr Jeremy Ibbotson.

Good morning.

I appreciate you agreeing to this.

I'm a satirical cartoonist, by trade, so don't worry if you see me scribbling away.

It's a funny coincidence, actually, cos there's another Jeremy who has been trolling us

-on all the message boards and the social media.

-Miss Pitman...

Whenever the NHS comes up in the papers, this idiot, Jeremy,

starts bad-mouthing us and saying we should be shut...

-EMMA CLEARS THROAT

-Valerie.

Oh.

And today is your chance to prove me wrong.

This way, please.

I only agreed to this to collect enough evidence to make

a stronger case for your closure.

You know that, right?

All I want you to see is how hard the staff work

and the challenges they face on a day-to-day basis.

For example, two of our senior doctors are away today, so...

Two? Typical! This is my point.

How much are they paid, yet where are they when people need them?

Well, they have a personal matter to attend to.

But it is not a problem.

The other staff are happy to cover for them.

Meaning longer waiting times and more cancelled appointments?

We have a motto here at The Mill.

"No patient left uncared for."

You will see.

-VALERIE:

-'So then he's standing there with his sketch pad,'

as if butter wouldn't melt.

He can stick his pencil where the sun don't shine!

How's that going to help? Why don't you just try talking to him?

Ooh! Very New Age.

-You fancy lunch later?

-Ah, no. No, I can't.

-I've got something planned.

-What are you up to? That's twice you've turned me down.

Nothing special.

Um...Jeremy? Jimmi Clay, partner.

-I've got five minutes now, if you want a chat.

-Sounds good. Thank you.

I thought you were a reformed woman.

Haven't said a word.

You don't need to, grinning at me, Grinny McGrinface.

Don't worry, I won't say anything to anyone about you looking for love.

I'm not looking for love, it's just a... It's a public service.

Oh, whatever you say. Your secret's safe with me.

So, how would you respond if I said The Mill was overstretched and under-resourced?

Show me a GP surgery that isn't.

I mean, what matters is that we've got a good team here

and we're there for our patients and we're there for each other.

-Is there a reason why you decided to pick on us?

-I'm not picking on you.

I just want people to know the truth.

Right, and how does expressing this anger really make you feel inside?

I'm not here to talk about my feelings.

Cos I'm training to be a counsellor, so you could talk to me in confidence.

I don't need any of that. I'm fine. It was good to meet you.

I'll let you get on.

Right, OK, my door's always open.

-Counsellor!

-HE SMIRKS

-Hello.

-Heather Goldman for Dr Reid.

You're booked for 4.30.

OK. Yeah, we'll see you then. Bye-bye.

That's great. Take a seat, please.

Mill Heath Centre?

Oh, any time between four and six.

Yep, no, you're very welcome. Bye-bye.

I've heard patients who call this surgery can't speak to a person,

no matter how long they wait.

Our policy is to answer every phone call within...

Within five rings? I know. Never happens, though, does it?

If you're on hold, we get to you...

Within two minutes? That's just spin.

-UNDER HER BREATH:

-I'll spin for you, mate.

Absolutely not true.

You agree with me, right? This place is a disaster.

I don't know about this place, but the NHS...

Overstretched and rife with mistakes.

If I ran my business like that, I'd be bankrupt in day...

You OK?

I'm fine.

I'm Jeremy.

Heather. Are you a patient?

Here? No way! I'm just a fly on the wall.

-Miss Goldman.

-Dr Reid, thanks for fitting me in.

-You're welcome. Come through.

-Wow, special treatment!

All part of the service.

-Nice to meet you.

-You too. Good luck.

-PHONE RINGS

-Hello, Mill Health Centre.

One ring.

If only it was like that every time, eh?

Hold me back!

How long have you been having panic attacks?

A month or so, maybe. It's probably nothing, just work stress, but...

-OK, well, you did the right...

-I haven't really got time for this.

I'm snowed under with the business, but I've finally turned a corner and I'm making some money, so...

OK, look, listen to me. Your blood pressure is very high.

And that concerns me, given your history.

So I would like you to have some further tests at St Phil's,

and I'm going to give them a call and see if they can see you today.

For goodness' sake!

So, tell me about this secret lunch.

Oh, it's nothing interesting.

No, no, tell me, tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me!

It's kind of a date thing.

Oh! Well, great. I mean, that's good. It's about time you got back out there again.

No, no, no, not like that. It's, um... It's an experiment.

Like an extension of the random acts of kindness thing.

-Now you've lost me.

-Right, well, I find women online, you know -

someone who's been treated badly, you know, like Valerie was getting trolled and stuff.

I take them on a nice date, I say nice things to them and generally make them feel...

-Nice?

-Exactly.

Sorry, that's not a random act of kindness. That's a patronising act of self-importance.

Of course you'd say that. You pick holes in everything I do, man!

Look, it makes them feel better and, in return, that makes me feel better, OK?

See? That's exactly my point in the first place - making you feel better.

Look, if you want to meet someone, why can't you just be open?

How good do you think these women are going to feel if you take them out for one date and then dump them?

You know what? I'm not taking relationship advice from you. I know what I'm doing. It's OK.

-Bye. See you soon.

-Thank you. Bye.

And we're out. Lunch?

Oh, no, I can't. I want to catch Rob on his break.

-See you later.

-Good luck!

Good lunch, I meant.

Ah, Mr Ibbotson! How has your morning been?

Educational.

So, what do you fancy? Icon?

Er, yeah. Anywhere my face isn't plastered about.

Since you're all so busy, I'd assume you'd have a sandwich at your desk.

Well, you know what they say - all work and no lunch...

Makes doctors rubbish in the afternoon.

Hopefully, we've gone some way to changing your mind.

Not really.

I simply don't believe you give good service to your patients.

VALERIE SIGHS

We have seen over 100 patients this morning alone!

The only person who seems unhappy is you, sketching away, judging us all.

That's enough, Valerie.

Perhaps we could discuss some of your concerns over lunch.

I've heard all I need.

Very well. Could we see some of the sketches from this morning?

Oh, you'll see them soon enough.

Well, that was a complete waste of time.

He's going to go online and tell lies about us.

Yes. It was not entirely my idea,

I can assure you. I'm doing this under sufferance.

Obviously, you cannot change people's minds with facts these days!

-Sarah?

-Yes! Al, hello.

-Hi, how are you doing?

Ooh! Ay...ah... Mwah. Mwah.

-Sorry, my fault.

-Excellent.

Shall we?

It's really nice to meet you.

You too! I'm all over the shop. You're my first internet date.

My friend Katie's been pushing me to do it for ages, but it's scary, isn't it?

Well, I'm honoured you agreed to meet me. Have you ordered yet?

No, not yet. I've been too nervous to look.

Nervous of me? Don't be daft!

Let's see what they've got.

I really like your hair. That style - it suits you.

Oh, thank you.

That's a very pretty dress, very becoming.

Stop it now, I'm blushing!

Right, so, what are you going to have?

I think I'll start with the garlic bread.

Garlic bread? On a first date?

Oh, you devil, you!

SHE GIGGLES

Yeah, two garlic breads, please. Thank you.

Ham.

HE CHUCKLES

Thanks, love. I am sorry about this morning.

I don't know what that was all about.

Really?

I think it might be the pills, and sometimes I can't cope.

It just... It makes me feel stupid because I didn't see it coming.

No, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's not your fault.

Anyway, um, Heston's got a drop-in this afternoon, and I've spoken to

your duty sergeant, and I've reserved you the last slot of the day.

-No, you didn't have to do that.

-It's done.

But I've already got a follow-up booked in already,

and I don't know whether I'll be finished by knock-off, so I don't think it's a good idea.

This morning, you nearly cried over a ham sandwich.

-I'll have a soda water, please.

-And a lager, please. Any kind. Thanks.

So, how was your holiday?

Yeah, yeah, it was nice. It was, er...

Oh, I don't believe it! My picture's up there as well.

It's everywhere.

It's at The Mill, it's at the Campus, it's on billboards.

Al and Jimmi are having a field day.

Oh, come on, what did you expect, pretty boy?

Yeah, well, it's supposed to be about inspiring people,

not some diversity box-ticking exercise.

But you are inspiring people.

You know, only this morning,

I had a young Sikh patient ask my advice on how to become a doctor,

-all because they'd seen your poster.

-That's great, but the charity promised me a voice.

They said they were interested in what I had to say, not just what I look like.

Well, if you want a voice, then the poster's the perfect opportunity. Stop complaining!

All tough love, you.

That's me. Here's to your voice.

Do you really think it's appropriate to be drunk when seeing patients?

Well, I'm not, actually.

It's just a lager.

And I notice you're on soda water.

Well, I didn't want to...

Be drunk in the afternoon? My point exactly.

Brilliant!

Oh, look on the bright side -

you might lose your poster boy image now.

Oh, this has been great. You...you are a real treat.

Wow! Thank you. It really couldn't have gone any better, could it?

Um, thing is...

Can I just...?

Just getting some evidence, for social media.

My friend, Katie, will never believe me otherwise.

So, when can we do this again?

Right, the thing is....

You have got so much going for you.

You're smart, you're intelligent, you're funny, you're sexy,

you look like a million dollars,

but you don't want to get involved with someone like me.

Are you OK?

OK, um... I'm sorry.

You said I was a real treat!

You are.

So why are you binning me? Was it the selfie?

Did I go too far?

Please, don't do this!

Not after one date! Give me another chance!

-Please!

-OK, can you let me go?

-SHE SOBS

Can I have the bill, please? Quickly.

Lager, at lunchtime, on a working day!

I understand your concerns,

but Dr Vere is extremely conscientious...

I'm going to call the CCG and demand that they immediately investigate.

There is no need for that. Will you just listen?

Mrs Tembe, I can explain.

Oh, here we go. More spin.

Look, as long as a doctor is not drunk when seeing patients,

it's perfectly acceptable. And more importantly...

I'm not actually seeing patients this afternoon.

There's no way I would have been drinking lager if I was. I'm just doing paperwork.

-Oh, you would say that now, wouldn't you?

-Oh, look, come on. You're an intelligent man.

You must see that you're being unfair.

This is where you apologise.

I have no intention of apologising.

I am more convinced than ever that there is something seriously amiss with this practice.

Right, well, I am sorry that you feel that way,

but we are about to open for afternoon surgery.

So I think it is time that you left us.

Oh, no. I'm staying right here.

I'm going to canvass more patients for their opinions on this place.

Er, thank you, doctors. If you will return to work.

You know where I am.

Shall I call Sergeant Hollins, Mrs Tembe?

No, that will not be necessary.

You are very welcome to stay as long as you like.

But please, do not impinge on our patients' confidentiality.

I wouldn't dream of it.

Can I have that word, please, Mrs Tembe?

Yes. Yes, of course.

DOOR OPENS

How did it go?

Like day five on the Titanic.

SHE SIGHS

Look, I'm really sorry about all of that.

It is not your fault.

It is mine for inviting him here today,

although I did not have very much choice.

So, what did you want to ask me?

Oh, yeah, um, it's about this poster campaign.

I'm not really happy about the way they've got my image

plastered all over the place, without actually giving me the opportunity to speak about...

I appreciate you had a genuine motive for agreeing to take part.

But you agreed for them to publish your image,

whichever way they see fit.

Did I? Don't remember reading that bit of the release form.

I may have a possible solution.

The poster has generated a lot of interest.

And D-Verse Online have contacted me about doing an interview with you.

Right.

Look, I'm not really sure I want to be a part of anything...

You said you wanted to get your message out there.

Well, this might be a possible solution.

I guess so. Thanks, Mrs Tembe.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, hello. You must be here for Dr Carter's drop-in clinic.

Well, you know that because you...

Yeah, um... If you wouldn't mind taking a seat. Um...

-What are you...?

-Thank you!

Very good. You been here long?

I've been here all day. The staff are atrocious.

Are they?

Take that harpy, for example.

Symptomatic of everything that's wrong with this place -

uncaring, incompetent, awash with mistakes.

And they have the gall to take public money

-and throw it down the drain. If you ask me...

-Let me...stop you there.

Because I've been coming to this surgery for well over a decade now

and I have never seen any of the things that you are now describing.

They may make the odd mistake, but don't we all?

It's a good place, run by good people.

So maybe the problem is yours, and not theirs.

-It's got nothing to do with me.

-See, you point a finger at someone,

and there's three pointing back at you.

Rob, shall we?

Oh, yeah. The harpy - it's my wife.

Did he mention he's a police officer?

So, er...how are you doing?

Well, I'm only here because Karen wanted me to come.

You don't think you need to?

Well, I still find it difficult to talk about this stuff.

How are you getting on with the anti-depressants?

Well, I think they're calming down the flashbacks, but I'm having side-effects.

-Such as?

-Mood swings, hot flushes, tears.

I mean, this morning, I bit Karen's head off

and nearly cried over a ham sandwich.

Don't ask. I think I prefer the flashbacks.

To be truthful, I don't think I'm really getting any better.

I need to see Dr Reid again, please.

She's with a patient, I'm afraid.

It's kind of urgent. Is there any way...?

Oh, hello again. Back for more torture?

Sorry?

Are you OK? You look...

Miss Goldman, what are you doing back here?

I went to St Phil's, like you said, and they ran loads of tests

and said they wanted to admit me, but I had to wait.

Oh, typical NHS!

I couldn't face it.

I'm too busy to sit around, waiting for someone to tell me I need to calm down and relax.

This can't be happening to me again. It just can't! Oh, God!

-Heather, what's wrong?

-My head...

-Right. Does the light hurt your eyes?

-Oh, it's agony!

-OK, Jeremy, can you give me a hand?

-Of course.

-Can you call an ambulance?

-Yes, sure.

Is it another aneurysm?

Let's not worry about that now. Let's just get you comfortable.

Well, perhaps Miss Goldman would like to use my office.

-It is dark in there.

-Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

-Will I be OK?

-You're going to be absolutely fine.

-Don't worry.

-Ambulance is on its way. Ten minutes.

-You see?

-Will you come with me?

-If that's what you want.

-I do.

OK. That should ease the pain a little.

I haven't got time for this.

You need to get treated.

St Phil's will give you the best possible care.

When I had the aneurysm before,

they said the chances of recurrence were slim. Could this be a mistake?

AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS

You said yourself. This place...

Maybe you've misdiagnosed me.

I haven't.

I was wrong...about this place.

I've been here all day and I've seen how seriously they take patient care and how diligent they are.

I know it's scary, but you have to trust them.

You'll be OK. I know it. KNOCK ON DOOR

-Ambulance has just pulled up. I'll show them straight in.

-I'll come and brief them.

I'm scared.

-Is there anyone I can call? A partner or family?

-There's no-one.

Can Dr Reid come with me?

Well, I'm...I'm so sorry. She has...

I'll come with you. You can't go through this alone.

I did talk you through possible side-effects. Why didn't you come back to me?

Because I was worried you would say that the drugs weren't working

and that I should try therapy again.

I thought the support group was working.

-I lied. I haven't been going.

-You told me you were.

I know, Heston, I know! And I'm sorry about that, OK?

I went once. I walked into a room full of ex-servicemen

who had all, or nearly all, lost limbs

and had seen their mates been blown apart.

They're real heroes and that's real trauma. I felt like a fraud.

So I left, and I didn't go back.

Trauma is trauma. I think they would have been very sympathetic.

Well, I don't. I think they would have laughed me out of the room. And I wouldn't blame them for it.

I'll follow in my car, I promise.

We will check on your progress, Miss Goldman.

And it was good that you were here in her hour of need.

I should go.

Mr Ibbotson, what you said inside, about us - what changed your mind?

I used to have a girlfriend called Laura.

We'd only been seeing each other for a few months before she found the lump.

I don't know which doctor she saw when she was here because I didn't come with her.

I never came with her. I was always too busy.

After she died, I blamed this place and your colleagues.

Convinced myself that you were shoddy or that you'd missed

the initial signs or something - anything but face the truth.

You were not to blame.

That is the real reason why I...I wanted you to come today.

You knew about Laura and me?

Of course. I did my research.

I just hoped, by being here, that you would...that you would

come to terms with what happened and realise you did the best you could.

We all do, every day.

It is all we can do.

I'm sorry. For everything.

It stops now.

Well, thank you.

That's the first time I've spoken about Laura. To anyone.

It is good to talk, no matter how painful.

-I'd better go. I want to be there for Heather.

-All right.

-Thank you, Mrs Tembe.

No, thank you, Mr Ibbotson.

Oh, I forgot my sketch pad, inside.

Oh, right. Well, I will get it for you.

Keep it. The last one was for you, anyway.

-Is that you?

-Hm.

-Heston.

-Hm.

Is that supposed to be me?

I do not look like a clown!

Well, if that's you, then...that's me as a harpy.

Well, I'm not sure Heston's going to find the Pinocchio reference appropriate.

Well, I'd rather Pinocchio than some lying politician.

Perhaps you should all go home. It is over now.

Hm.

Oh.

The Mill Hero Centre. I like that.

There must be something else I can do.

Well, your psychiatrist suggested two anti-depressants.

We could try the other one,

but there really is no substitute for therapy.

Hmm. I thought you'd say that.

I mean, seriously, there must be

another way I can deal with it, without talking about it.

Brilliant!

Would you like me to find you a new group?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, what if I came with you?

We want something more permanent.

The simplest option would be for Michael to get the snip.

I have a patient who is considering a procedure

based on false information.

Don't go there, Emma. No-one will thank you for it.

You're taking away his opportunity to have a child with somebody else,

and because of that...

You can't say any of this to him. Confidentiality.