Confidence Doctors

-I haven't got long.

-Why?

I've got to go and see about the flat.

Have you got the money sorted out?

Later, eh?

-Hi.

-Morning.

-Hiya.

Tough day, yesterday.

Yes, it was.

Austin's decided to make a full statement.

Lily, hi.

-Hi.

-Where's Darcy?

-With Karen.

-Come on, babe.

You OK?

SHE SOBS

Come on. What did the Sergeant say?

He told me... He told me everything Austin has done.

How he...he covered up for that murderer!

I still can't believe it.

But it's true, isn't it?

He admitted it.

That's it. Finished.

And...

I'm finished.

I don't blame you, sweetheart, but...

But what?!

Well, at least he's doing the right thing now.

Where does that leave us, eh?

Where does that leave US?

What about me, and Darcy, and you?

I don't even want to think about him any more.

How could he do that to his own brother?!

Lily, I know...

And then...

And then just lie to us all?

Love, he's...he's the only son I've got now.

And I don't think I even know him any more.

I hate him so much.

So much.

I know, love. I know.

You all right?

Uh-huh.

Can I just ask you something?

Yeah.

What do you think about illegal immigrants using the NHS?

Thanks for that.

Right, that's the music sorted, erm, I've got the lyrics.

Recording's tomorrow night, so... Game on!

-Amazing.

-Just need to get everyone together for a rehearsal.

Mm. Good luck with that.

It'll just be for one hour, straight after work.

Would you mind spreading the word for me?

Thanks, Eesh.

MURMURING

Thanks.

Good morning, madam. How can I help you?

Oh. I'd like to report a crime, please.

Yeah, so I hear. What sort of crime?

-Theft.

-OK.

-£20,000.

Mr Adewole, if you would proceed.

Could you state your name and address?

SOFTLY: Austin Lonsdale.

You'll need to speak up.

VOICE QUIVERS: Austin Lonsdale.

And your address?

MUMBLES: 27 Lessings Court.

Once again, please.

It's 27 Lessings Court.

The money was for a flat.

Deposit. But when he got it, that was it.

Off like a shot. I can't believe I've been that stupid.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

It happens more than you think.

And do you know the worst of it?

It was all my own fault.

I kept kidding myself that he loved me.

-Did he say he did?

-When he had to.

I was...very down.

After my husband went...

..Tony just gave me that confidence back.

Made me feel like I was worth something again.

Did he try and gain access to any of your bank accounts?

No.

Any physical force? Or abuse?

-No.

-Did he try and threaten you at all?

Only when he said that,

if he couldn't find the money, he'd have to go.

So, in actual fact, Linda, you gave him the money voluntarily?

Well, I had to practically force it on him at the end.

Or so I thought. But that's how he does it.

He gets into your mind. And then you feel sorry for him.

But now...I just want to kill him!

I have to say, it's not going to be easy to bring charges...

Yeah, I know.

Because it's your word against his.

His word? Look, I don't even care about the money. It's gone.

I've lost it. I just want him stopped!

So nobody else has to suffer.

I mean, it's just not right, is it?

OK...

And where were you, exactly?

In the car park.

And how far away from the incident?

I don't know...

Mr Lonsdale.

About from here to...to that dock.

So...about 20ft, then?

Yeah. But they couldn't see me.

But you had a clear view?

Yeah.

And what did you see?

VOICE QUIVERS: I saw...my brother get stabbed.

And what was your reaction?

What did you do?

Nothing.

You did nothing.

I just froze, didn't I?

You froze.

It was... I don't know. It was like a film or something.

All the blood, all over him.

And the doctor, trying to stop it. It didn't seem real.

It couldn't be happening. But it was. It was my own brother...

..lying there.

I thought he was dead.

And I just stood there...

..like a coward.

And do you know who it was, who stabbed him?

Is that person in court today?

It's him.

-Speak up, please.

-SHOUTS: It's him! Braydon Jennings.

He killed my brother!

CROWD MURMURS

Dragging me down here... What am I supposed to have done, eh?

How about, obtaining money by deception?

-From who?

-You know who. Linda Fairhurst.

What?

The same Linda Fairhurst who's been following me around for months?

Stalking me?

Phoning me day and night. Taking pictures.

Screaming at me in the street!

Now, why would she do that?

I don't know. She can't stand me being with anyone else?

You reckon?

I'm telling you, mate, I should be the one bringing charges.

Sorry, just to remind you...

-Uh-huh?

-We did discuss a solo.

Did we?!

So, just to be clear. We are all singing both songs?

Well, if there's a choice, I would much rather...

No! There's not a choice.

Jimmi! Can you just hang on a sec? Wait there. Thank you.

Well, I have to admit, you cannot beat Silent Night.

Oh, yeah, in the original German. Fantastiche.

Er, no, no, no. NO. No, give me Shaky any time.

No, no, no. Christmas is about tradition.

# Stille Nacht Heil'ge Nacht... #

Yeah, no, but it's more than that... It's more "with it". Trendy.

Shakin' Stevens?!

Yeah. It gets everyone going! In the party mood. Having a laugh.

That's what I was afraid of.

Sid, I'm starving!

Right. OK. Those are the lyrics.

We'll be gathering in the staffroom, OK?

-Oh, no, I can't come now.

-Yeah, no way.

No, no, I've got to eat as well.

No, no. At six.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! 6pm? As in 6pm after work?!

-Yeah, tonight! OK?

-For how long?

Does it have to be, erm...?

I'll see you all there later, guys. Thank you!

Uh!

-Where did you meet her?

-Dating site.

-No, where did you physically meet her?

-Manchester area.

And you were buying a flat?

Yeah, I was thinking about getting a place up there.

-And what stopped you?

-Her! She was cracking up.

In what way?

Wouldn't let me go out on my own, have any mates.

Started checking me phone, going through me pockets, you know.

I think it was all down to her husband.

He went off with some Latvian bird.

HE CHUCKLES

Nothing to do with you, then?

So, in the end, I just legged it down here.

For all the good it did.

-And she followed you?

-Mate, she's obsessed.

What about the money?

Yeah, well, she did help me out a bit.

How much?

When I get back on my feet, I'll see about paying it back, OK?

No time soon, though, eh?

It's not as though she's struggling, is it, eh?

Not like I am. I still have to fork out for me wife and kids.

Do they know where you get your money from?

Funnily enough, they never ask,

as long as the cheques keep coming in.

What is this? Your missus got rid of you,

so now you take it out on every woman you meet?

No-one put a gun to her head.

Doesn't mean you didn't swindle her, though.

Hey, it's every man for himself out there. Or didn't you know?

It's dog eat dog, mate. Plenty of dogs about.

I'll be seeing you, then.

Don't hold your breath.

No further questions.

Mr Lonsdale.

How long have you been in this alleged gang?

Specifically, please. And may I remind you that you are under oath?

I don't know, a year or so.

And in that time, how often have you witnessed acts of violence?

-A few times.

-And what did they entail?

Well, have you witnessed beatings, for example? Or other knife crimes?

Yeah, I've seen people get cut.

So why were you so shocked?

When the same thing happened to Reece?

So shocked in fact, that you could just stand back

and do nothing, while your own brother lay dying on the ground...?

I just was!

Hm.

Because "it all happened so fast,

"like a film or something..."

Yes!

And in the weeks since then?

Were you still paralysed in fear, in a catatonic state?

No, of course you weren't.

Because you were too busy leading the campaign of violence

and intimidation which followed. Were you not?

-Objection, Your Honour.

-Overruled.

We would all like to hear what your witness has to say.

And were there drugs involved in this criminal life of yours?

I suppose.

Of which you presumably availed yourself?

Have you ever taken drugs? Marijuana?

-Yeah, a few times.

-Meaning what?

What? Ten times? 20? 50?

100? Every week, every day?

I don't know!

Perhaps so often that your memory has become impaired.

-Along with the rest of your mental capacity.

-Objection!

I am merely trying to establish the reliability of your witness.

Objection overruled.

A witness who, may I remind the jury,

colluded in the abduction of a five-year-old child.

By his own admission.

And all for the benefit of someone who,

he claims, killed his own brother!

MURMURING

So, did he even deny it?

No, not really.

But he did say that he intends to pay you back,

-sometime in the future.

-Do you believe that?

-No.

He says that you followed him down here.

I paid someone to find him.

And that you are harassing him, I'm afraid.

Surprise, surprise.

And that you showed...excessive behaviour?

Not half as excessive as I'd like it to be.

Hm. I'm sorry, Linda, but he's even talking about a restraining order.

Well, I'm just going to have to face up to it.

I've been a total idiot. That's all there is to it.

Unless there's any more information you can tell me?

Well, I can tell you who's going to be swindled next.

If she hasn't been already.

And when precisely did it happen, this Damascene conversion of yours?

When did you decide to overcome your unquestioning gang loyalty and

lifelong contempt for the police and come forward with these accusations?

-Yesterday.

-Hm.

And, er, why was that?

I didn't want him to get away with it, did I?

Even if it meant foregoing the idyllic family life you'd planned?

-Uh-huh.

-Because you do realise you've incriminated yourself here?

-And in consequence, could face a lengthy prison term?

-'Course.

But...such is your sudden rush

of conscience and new-found civic duty...?

I have to, don't I?

And why is that?

For my brother.

Or... Perhaps there is a more plausible explanation.

That you wish to shift the blame onto my client,

-rather than face these charges yourself.

-No!

Because far from being a mere innocent bystander,

-you were in fact the sole instigator of these crimes.

-No!

And may well have been your own

-brother's murderer yourself!

-SHOUTS: No!

And now you are plainly lying under oath...

-Objection, Your Honour...

-And have been doing ever since you took the stand!

-I'm not!

This is pure speculation!

-I'm not lying. I'm not.

-Miss Botham-Hart!

Mr Lonsdale.

I put it to you that your whole account is nothing more than

a pack of lies, designed to save your own skin.

-Am I right?

-Do you know what? I don't care any more.

You can do what you want with me.

I'm sure the court is well aware of that!

But it was him who killed my brother. It was him!

-Braydon Jennings killed my brother! It was him!

-Order!

-It was him who killed my brother!

-Order in this court!

How did you get on?

Yeah, it's mine if I want it.

-What about the money?

-Nearly there.

They reckon they've got another buyer coming in tomorrow.

No sweat.

I'll make some calls.

Look, I've got some put aside, it's no problem.

-I can't take it, sweetheart.

-It's just sitting in the bank.

No way.

Worst comes to the worst, I'll just get somewhere cheaper,

you know, go back up north.

You're going nowhere.

Come here.

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, you have been presented with

a considerable amount of evidence during the course of this trial.

And I must advise you to be cautious when considering it.

Any witness who has identified a person can be mistaken.

Even when they are sure they are right.

I am now going to ask you to retire to the jury room.

I must remind you that whilst you are considering the evidence,

you should not take into account anything that has not been

presented in this courtroom.

# Mi, mi, mi, mi, mieee! La, la, la, la, la, la, laaaah! #

-Is Ruhma coming?

-I think she's on a call out or something.

-Right. OK.

-Sorry, sorry...

-This is going to be chaos.

-# Aaaaah! #

-Valerie!

-Sorry.

-Right. OK. Thank you, everyone, for coming.

-BABY FUSSES

-Ssssh!

-Al, thank you.

Right. What I would like to do is separate into two.

So, erm, could we have Valerie, Al and Jimmi on this side,

and does everyone else just want to take a seat over here?

On what basis, exactly?

Well, I thought we could separate, you know, the main singers...

Hang on. We're all singing, aren't we?

No, no. I'm not singing. Erm, I sound like a strangulated cat.

So, I'm just going to be in the video.

Yeah, for those who...just want to, you know, do more background.

Well, you do know that, er, Dr Carter was in the Mikado?

That's not really singing, though.

-I beg your pardon?

-Well, technically.

-If you knew how hard I worked...

-# Laaaaaaa! #

Eh, could you not do that? Cos I very nearly got her off then!

Do you know what? I've had enough of this already.

-No, no, no, no, Emma! Please, wait! Please.

-Well, what's the point? If I'm just bringing up the numbers.

No, we need everyone we've got, don't we? For the video.

-Oh, right. So, what does it make me then, an extra?

-No, no.

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Just let her go.

No! This is a team thing, OK?

-We all need to do our bit. All right?

-Ooh, er, yeah,

I was gonna ask... Is it all right

-if Rob comes along tomorrow?

-What for?

Well, cos he likes a sing-song.

Oh, why don't we get the patients involved, while we're at it?

Yeah. Or Valerie's cat.

-# Mieeeeee! #

-Valerie!

BABY CRIES

Look what you've done now!

Sorry, Sid, which is my solo bit?

I do still feel bad about this, you know.

Well, don't. I don't want to hear another word about it.

There, all done.

You...

are a marvel.

Come here.

Here.

You spoil me, you do.

Don't I just?

So are you going to come and help me with the decorating, then?

Hm. I might just buy you a pot plant.

And I'm going to buy you some lunch.

Tomorrow. When it's all signed off.

And we can go round to your place for a change.

Fine. If you don't mind roughing it.

Hmmm...

I've got to get me skates on.

-Is that it?

-Estate agent's.

Should still be open.

I thought we were celebrating.

I don't want to take any chances.

Thank you, love.

Oh, "love" now, is it?

Never know your luck.

See you've packed already?

You going anywhere nice?

What's it to you?

She made mincemeat out of him.

Didn't she just? But I reckon she went too far.

Do you think we shouldn't have talked him into it?

He was telling the truth, they could see that.

Are you sure?

As sure as I can be. For Robocop.

It's going to be OK. You've done everything you can.

And whatever happens, you've been brilliant.

Thanks, Tom.

-I have got neighbours, you know!

-Yeah, sorry about that.

-But I do need to ask you some questions.

-About what?

-About Mr Albright here.

-Tell him to clear off.

What's he supposed to have done?

Has he asked you for a loan?

For a flat, maybe? A deposit.

He was just going to the estate agent's...

-With his suitcases.

-Don't listen to him.

This is not the first time Mr Albright has done this.

-Obtaining money through deception.

-Miriam, it's not true.

Has he asked you for money?

-You lying pig!

-Get off me!

-OK, OK, calm down!

-Right, well, that's assault for a start...

-Go and wait in the hall.

-I'll kill him!

-Calm down!

-You see? She's another one!

-Go in the hallway!

-You filthy, lying...

OK, that's enough.

So you have give him some money?

£12,000!

Just like that!

You know, it is possible,

with all the information that we've already got...

Well, I'm never going to get that back now, am I?

And the information that you could give us...

..that we can prove that there's a pattern.

His MO, if you like.

And just how am I going to do that?

Well, you'd have to give us a statement.

Oh, don't be so stupid!

There's no way I can go to court. And he knows it!

And why's that?

Oh, why do you think?

Because I'm married, you fool!

Well,

I can either lose that.

Or everything.

Just lose everything!

I'm going to go and have a word. You'd better check your bank.

Oh, look, it's already gone through. Look...

One word to my husband, that's all it would take.

So let him just keep the rotten money and go.

Can I go now?

I'm going to keep my eye on you.

Yeah, right.

Better luck next time, eh?

Mate.

-OUT OF TUNE:

-# Everyone...

OK, erm... Well...

That's exactly what rehearsals are for, isn't it?

Erm, chaps, you were a little bit flat at the end there.

-I don't think so.

-Yeah, you were as flat as a flatworm.

That's been run over.

By a steam roller. Now, Jimmi's from Wales.

They're born with perfect pitch. Show 'em.

# Everyone... #

-OUT OF TUNE:

-# Everyone... #

Nearly, nearly... Erm...

-Eesh, I can't really hear you, darling.

-Is it any wonder?

Eh, eh, eh. Do not blame me!

I can't hear myself think!

No, no, no. What she means is not everyone can project

-the way you can, Mrs Tembe.

-# Everyone... #

# Everyone... #

-I think that went quite well.

-In what way?

-Well, if we're going to be here all night...

-That's not going to happen!

..I think some refreshments might be in order.

-I could murder a gin and tonic!

-Grease the ol' pipes.

Ooh, I tell you what, I could nip out and get some vino.

It is nearly Christmas, after all.

HE POUNDS KEYBOARD KEYS

Sorry. Before we do all run off...

Erm, do you mind if we just give it one more go?

And, this time, can everyone just try and give it a bit of effort?

What I mean, erm, just sing like you mean it, yeah?

Come on, it's Christmas. This is all about raising money.

You know, helping people. We should be proud of this, yeah?

I hate Christmas.

OK. One more time, after three.

A one, two, a one, two, three, and...

Would the foreman please stand?

Have you reached a verdict on which you are all agreed?

Yes.

On count one on the indictment,

do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty of murder?

Guilty.

Yes!

You find the defendant guilty.

-Murderer! Murderer!

-I hope you rot, you scum!

-Order!

-Murderer!

Sit down! I will have order in this court!

We did it! We did it!

Braydon Jennings,

you have been found guilty of the charge of murder.

You're dead! Dead.

-Order!

-You're dead!

-Order...

-You'll see!

-..in this court!

You're dead! Just wait.

-Order!

-You're dead!

-Order!

-You'll see! Dead. Dead.

-I'll kill you! Dead.

-Order!

-Dead.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

I got raped many times. My family threw me out.

I met this homeless gentleman round the corner,

and he's got these sores that definitely need looking at.

-I should tell Mrs Tembe.

-And if she goes home, she might be killed.

He wanted to spend the day with his mates from school.

More than his mother, so it seems.

So you will, then?

Is that blackmail?

Yeah!