The Song Without End Doctors

Morning, Sid. Oh, Sid, this is Kayla.

-She's going to be running Reception today.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hi, Sid.

-You're very young. Are you really a doctor?

-Yeah.

-Coffee?

-Cheers, mate.

-So, I was just going to ask Dr Clay...

-Jimmi.

-Jimmi.

I want to know how many Valentine cards you got this morning.

Well, I didn't get any, because I'm not really in a relationship, so...

-And how many did you get?

-It's quite a personal question.

Also, how many did you send?

-Morning.

-Hi.

Oh, Heston. I'm so sorry, I heard about what happened.

-Is there anything I can do?

-No, I'm fine, thank you.

-I just need you to send him home.

-Sorry?

-Heston. He...

He won't listen to me.

-He doesn't listen to me either.

-Yeah, but he shouldn't be here.

I..I..I'm fine. I just wish other people would take it as seriously.

Well, look, if you're talking about Rob,

we had a very serious case, yesterday.

A young girl had gone missing, she could have died...

-Yes, well, Viper's pretty unpleasant.

-Yes, of course, I understand that.

I've been through it. I'm not saying what you've been through is...

Well, look, how's your heart? Any side effects? Palpitations?

I and my heart are fully recovered, thank you.

If you need a few more days, we can cope.

-No, no, Ben, there's some people I need to speak to.

-Heston...

-No!

I will take things easy today, I have a few days off.

If it gets too much, I will take myself home.

Now, excuse me.

Oh, no! I was going to wear that!

While you've been sat at home, all cosy,

it's been freezing in here.

-Yeah, I'm on to that.

-Yeah, that's what you said the other day.

Yeah, I thought it was a bit chilly.

Do you know what our new practice manager did?

He hit the thermostat with a hammer.

Mrs Tembe used to do that.

No, no, she used to tap it. He HIT it.

You should've stayed at home until it was fixed.

-Oh, but I missed you all.

-Aw!

-Are you off that stupid diet?

-It wasn't a "diet".

But, yes, I have seen the error of my ways

and I am fit and healthy and ready for work.

Well, we can share the cardie.

-Do you want to do the post?

-Oh, I'd love to!

Do you remember that time I got a Valentine's card?

There might be another one.

Oh, me and Rob don't do cards any more.

This morning, I made him a full English

and he's making me a steak and kidney pudding for my tea.

Oh, that is so romantic!

Oh!

Ohhh...

None this year.

Quelle surprise!

-Do you remember him?

-Liam? Yeah.

Bright lad, he overreached himself

-with that methamphetamine derivative.

-Quack?

-Yeah.

-Did someone die? A student?

-Liam got into a lot of trouble over that.

And he was the one who was involved with something to do with milk?

Oh, I'd forgotten about that, yeah.

He poured it all over himself in some sort of political stunt.

He accused the government of milking students,

-and then he posted it on the internet.

-Yeah.

Yes, he did!

What about it?

-Hey...

-Oh, Mr Elliott, come through.

Well, bye, then.

-You don't mind, do you?

-It is a bit unprofessional, I suppose.

I'll put it away.

No, no, just maybe put it somewhere a bit less prominent, yeah?

-From your boyfriend?

-Fiance. Alejandro.

He's a management consultant.

SHE TYPES

HE SIGHS

Hey... I... We were both a bit distracted this morning.

I wanted to give you this a bit earlier.

Oh, it's Valentine's Day!

-Yeah. It's OK.

-I feel awful.

It's fine, you know, under the circumstances.

I'll get a table at Pizzorno's tonight?

Oh, they're probably fully booked.

-Heston, I've got to work tonight anyway.

-I'm sorry.

-It's OK.

It doesn't matter. It's fine, honestly.

I bet Daniel didn't forget.

Oh, nothing yet.

Really?

It's a game. How long dare he leave it?

-How long before I say something?

-Oh? Sounds risky.

He's fully aware of the consequences if he leaves it too late.

-And how late is too late?

-He doesn't know that. Not exactly.

No, hang on, last year, didn't you say that Valentine's Day

was a gigantic waste of time?

Well, I changed my mind.

As it happens, I did get a card this morning and a gift.

The card was from Joe, he also gave one to Daniel,

and the gift was from Daniel's mother, Marian.

-Now, what is that about?

-Oh, no, I think that's quite touching.

I think it's peculiar. I mean, it was a brooch,

it wasn't anything romantic, but, even so.

Yes, yes, still here.

Er...

Yeah, that's fine.

OK. Thanks.

Sorted. Engineer's coming tomorrow or the day after.

At last! My room is boiling!

Ah, now, that's what I call romantic.

Ah! Thank you.

-Is there a card?

-Blue irises? For me.

No card required.

-He left that a bit late.

-But not too late!

THEY CHUCKLE

KNOCK AT DOOR

Can I nick some prescription paper? I've run out.

Yeah, sure. Help yourself.

-Ready for the next one?

-In a sec.

So, how is it that two good-looking guys like you

haven't had a Valentine's card between you?

-I could find you someone - both of you?

-Yeah, I don't think so.

-Yeah, I'm all right, thanks.

-Oh, come on!

Let a little romance into your lives!

No, I can sort my own romance, thank you.

Sid? I'm really good at matchmaking.

Honest! It's a skill, a gift.

I can walk into a room full of strangers

-and pick out two people who are just right for each other.

-That's just...

-What, you don't believe me?

-No, it's just not that simple, is it?

I don't know, maybe some people can give fate a helping hand.

-Yeah, that's me.

-Yeah, that's her. See, she just said that!

Come here.

There is no way that you can guess

-which two people are going to be a good fit.

-It's not "guessing".

What do you think?

As if to prove my point, you don't even know these people.

-How can you tell?

-Him...

..and her.

No, sometimes you look at two people and you just know.

Yeah, right, of course you do.

OK! Mr Wakefield.

Hey, do you want to come through?

-Please, have a seat.

-Thank you.

It's my feet. I've looked it up on the internet, plantar fasciitis.

Right, OK. Let's just go back a few steps, shall we?

Just get a general background on your health and lifestyle?

I'm 48, chartered surveyor. I don't smoke, never have.

I like a drink, but no more than is good for me.

BMI somewhere in the region of 26 or thereabouts.

No allergies. Blood pressure, fine. Cholesterol acceptable.

Vitamin D on the low side, but I take supplements.

Wow! You married?

Widowed, ten years back.

-Sorry.

-You get used to it.

-Yeah, but still...

I find, and she wouldn't mind me saying this,

I quite enjoy my own company.

I'd rather be with her, don't get me wrong,

but it's not so bad being by yourself.

-So, you're not in a relationship now?

-What would be the point?

There'll never be another woman to match my Alison.

Of course not.

Shall I take my shoes and socks off?

Er...

-Yes!

-Plantar fasciitis!

Yeah, aching feet. Yeah, sure, let's have a look.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Mm.

Hey! Um...

Daniel, can I ask...

..what else do you know about this Liam Slade person?

Erm...

Well, just because Heston is convinced that

he was drugged by him.

That's a bit of a stretch.

Is it? How well did you know him?

It was a long time ago.

I don't remember him that well, to be honest.

I think...

I think that Heston is delusional.

I think he's got a thing, you know, with Steven.

Yeah.

I think, he... Heston wants a kind of substitute son,

because of what happened with Steven.

And Liam fell into that category - he's a bright, successful young man.

Heston takes him under his wing, and then it all goes wrong.

Yeah, very wrong.

The guy Heston described as Liam...

I mean, I might have come across him, I might have seen him.

But, also he could be half the white men in Letherbridge.

I think it's the drugs. I think it is all in his head.

-What's up, Doc?

-VOICE ECHOES

LAUGHTER ECHOES

All right. OK. Take these and see how it goes.

SHE SIGHS HRT?

It's just a top-up for your natural hormones.

Well, they never needed topping-up before.

In fact, my hormones have always worked really well,

if you know what I mean?

-Never had any complaints about my hormone levels.

-Right...

How soon will they start to work?

-They should start taking effect, almost immediately, I think.

-Great.

-And I'll be OK to take these with alcohol?

-Oh, yes.

-Party time!

-Thank you. Life-saver.

-You're more than welcome.

-Happy customer.

-I do my best.

You were wrong.

I'm never wrong.

Ms Gallivan and Mr Wakefield - not in a million years.

How would you know? They've never even spoken to each other.

He's happy on his own and she wouldn't look twice at someone like that.

-Like what?

-Well, he's not exactly a party animal, is he?

You know nothing, Dr Vere.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Hi.

Oh, hello.

Nobody seems to be dying right now, so I thought I'd give you a call.

-You'll get into trouble.

-Nah.

How are the flowers?

You did get them? They're irises. Blue irises.

Um... A bit of an issue there.

Never mind, I really appreciate the thought.

What do you mean?

Zara took them.

Blue irises are her favourite, apparently.

She just assumed.

It'd be a bit awkward trying to get them back.

I'd have to explain, and everything.

Oh, for...

I make this big romantic gesture...

It's really difficult.

And you're just not bothered?

You're going to let Zara keep them.

-Look, they were lovely.

-Yeah, they were. I bought them for you.

Is it really so embarrassing to admit you're in a relationship?

Look, you know it's difficult.

Yeah, fine.

No, it's not fine.

No. It's not.

Will?

Will!

KNOCKING

Come in.

Er, Zara, there's been a misunderstanding.

-The flowers.

-They're lovely, aren't they?

They're not yours. They're mine.

I don't think so.

There's probably a card.

Oh.

Oh!

Who are they from?

Oh, lovely flowers.

I see St Valentine has reared his ugly head again.

I think it's designed to make us miserable.

-And why does it always have to rain?

-Well, that's February.

-Hmm.

Me and Jimmi have got a plan.

We're going to go for an anti-Valentine beer this evening.

-That'll show it.

-I might join you.

If...that's all right?

Yeah, not a problem. It is beers.

Yes, I know, but everywhere sells gin.

What's going on?

I may have told a couple of

teeny-weeny, tiny white lies.

-What have you done?

-I looked up their records, and rang them.

I said there was some paperwork they needed to complete

and asked them to come back into the surgery.

And here they are, together,

in the same room.

This is a Valentine's Day they're never going to forget.

Come with me.

-You can't do this.

-I can. It's a gift.

-No.

This is a medical practice, not a dating agency.

You can't just manipulate the patients like that.

-It's completely, totally, absolutely wrong.

-Oh.

I don't even know what you were thinking of!

-You've been doing a brilliant job up until now.

-I'm sorry.

-But I can't help it.

-Yes, you can. OK?

Something like this can put the whole practice at risk.

We're supposed to be supporting people, not messing with their lives.

I'm so sorry. I didn't think.

What are we going to do?

Of course, the best thing for plantar fasciitis is a good foot rub.

-Is it?

-I'm just saying,

a strong, firm massage does wonders for relaxing the muscles.

-Is it really painful?

-You should see me first thing in the morning.

I hardly know you!

It's like watching Love Island in a surgery for the over-40s.

Thank you!

-I would never put them two together.

-Did you set them up?

-No.

-Nothing to do with me.

-Apparently, it was a mistake.

-PHONE RINGS

-Excuse me.

-What are you doing?

-Sid?

Apparently we've had a bit of an administrative error.

We don't need to see you after all.

-Oh, well...

-It was our mistake. Very sorry.

-Emergency - I've got to get back to work.

-I've quite enjoyed myself.

Me too.

But I've got to dash.

I'll get the door for you.

-After you.

-Thanks.

-Mr Wakefield?

-I'm sorry. I've really got to go.

Yeah, I, er, meant to say this morning, I do actually have

some leaflets on foot pain, so if you want to come to my...

I think I've got the complete set already. Thank you.

OK, well, if you do need any, you know where I am.

Of course. Thank you.

I know I should never have called them back, but that was mean.

-I was just...

-That could have been the start of something beautiful

-and you destroyed it.

-Yeah, you went a bit overboard there, mate.

What is wrong with you?

Jimmi, she used confidential data

-to bring them back under false pretences.

-Hmm.

Looked like it was working, though.

Could have gone badly wrong.

Hmm, I suppose.

He was brilliant. Quite brilliant.

He was an imbecile.

-He was misguided.

-He killed someone.

And this connects to Viper?

It's the same pattern.

There are similarities.

But the Quack, that was a student thing.

It's his modus operandi. You need to find him.

How am I going to do that?

Facial recognition software.

I have a photo from before.

That's no good. It's just a blur of pixels.

For facial recognition software to work,

you need a face you can recognise.

His mum wouldn't recognise him from that.

I've searched the internet.

The whole internet?

Oh, come on, Al. You're the expert, you've got to help me.

All right, fair enough.

Two coffees to go, we'll do it in my office. And, er...bring biscuits.

I'm ever so sorry, Mr Wakefield.

I know, I know. The thing is...

-Kayla?

-I haven't done anything.

-Mr Wakefield came back entirely of his own accord.

-That's true.

And I've just been explaining that I can't possibly give him

the name or address of the lady he was talking to earlier.

She's being tiresomely professional about the whole thing.

I don't understand.

Well, I've asked this young lady for the contact details of...

No. I mean, I don't understand why it is you want to see her.

You told me earlier that you weren't interested.

Happy on your own, and all that.

That's right. I am. I thought I was.

But you can't always tell, can you?

Sometimes you see someone, and you just know.

Is this a private party?

Or can anyone join in?

I was passing.

-I just wondered...

-Me too.

-Mr Wakefield, this is Ms Gallivan. Trish, meet Joseph.

-Hi.

-Oh!

-Oh. Good to see you.

-How's your emergency?

-All sorted. You got any plans this afternoon?

Not any more.

Oh...

SHE LAUGHS

-QUIETLY:

-Yes!

-Kayla.

-I know, erm, lack of professionalism.

No, it's Valentine's, though, isn't it?

-We could let it slip, just this once.

-Yeah.

CLATTERING OF KEYS

-Nothing.

-Hm... Let's try company register.

I doubt it, he's not in any of the company directories or

networking sites.

And yet he does have a company.

Liam Slade - African Artwork And Antiques, and there's an address.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, it might not be our Liam Slade.

African artwork.

Sounds respectable.

Maybe Ruhma's right, it's just a Viper hallucination.

PHONE RINGS

I'll let you get that... He just looks like the other guy.

Really?

Yep.

You didn't get any Valentine's cards this morning, that's why you've been

-such a spoilsport all day.

-I haven't been...

No, I didn't, actually. Have I really been...?

-A bit.

-All day.

-How pathetic.

-Hm. You're going to be alone on Valentine's night, as well.

-Cheers, mate, rub it in.

-Just saying.

Unless you come for a beer with me or Al,

-that's a beer or two or three.

-Yeah?

-Well, we have to stick together, don't we?

-OK. Definitely.

Kayla, do you fancy it?

Kayla's got a fiance,

so I'm sure they've got something romantic lined up.

-Hi.

-Hi. How can I help you?

BANGING

Zara, did I hear that you gave Ben flowers?

I heard he came out of your office with a big bunch of something

-or other.

-Irises.

-Blue irises. My favourite.

-And?

It was a misunderstanding. They were for him.

Really? Who from?

I don't know. An admirer, I presume.

So they weren't for you from Daniel?

Evidently not.

Ohhhh.

-What time is too late?

-What?

-Well, Daniel is approaching zero hour.

-It's a Valentine's thing.

-It's such high stakes for Daniel and Zara.

With me and Rob, we're more... steak and kidney pudding.

-What are you guys doing?

-Chocolate.

-Wine.

-Channing Tatum.

-Oh.

Not bad, but I think I'll stick to the steak and kidney pudding.

LAUGHTER

Everything OK?

Thought we had a win today.

That was lovely, very romantic.

So?

It's Valentine's Day and my fiance is in South Africa.

On a contract. He's been there for six months.

Ah, sorry.

Oh, no, ignore me. I'm just being silly.

I've had plenty of nights alone.

Why don't you come out with us?

Yeah, I mean, it would be different, obviously, but...

you're still welcome.

-You said it was an un-Valentine's night, sounds a bit...

-What?

Cynical?

Sound ideal.

OK. Yeah. Well, thank you, I'd love to.

But no cynicism.

Like, it's Valentine's night and we have to celebrate love

and romance and everything that's beautiful in the world, it...

And I'm going to find partners for both of you.

Hey.

Are you looking for someone?

Yeah. Someone special.

-I can't.

-I make this big romantic gesture...

-It's the rules.

It's hygiene.

Happy Valentine's.

Happy Valentine's.

Don't see Jimmi anywhere.

I told him we should have gone to a proper pub!

Hold on.

You must be Al and Emma.

Happy Valentine's Day, Al and Emma.

This is going to require beer.

I'll call you back. Bye.

Ah.

HE COUGHS

Chocolate.

No.

Lingerie.

No.

Hm... Naughty.

Because I love the touch of you.

And the smell, the sound,

the sight and the taste of you.

Daniel.

Happy Valentine's.

Happy Valentine's.

Hm.

Now, what did you get for me?

Oh...

MUSIC PLAYS

Finally! What took you so long?

-You only called 20 minutes ago.

-Well, desperate measures. Do you want a drink?

-A proper drink.

-Yeah, in a minute.

I've done some more research into Liam's African website.

He's got some interesting pieces on there, good testimonials,

-good comments, trading all over the world.

-And?

Heston, lots of drug dealers

and money-launderers have respectable-looking websites.

Yeah, I know, but it looks credible.

"Looks credible".

I want a live-in husband, not a dead hero.

I've had to change me whole life.

-I've gambled everything and I've lost.

-Hello, Liam.

-It's good to see you.

-So what do you want?

I want no more lies, no more sneaking around.

ANY further interest in my business

will have consequences for the both of us.