Click-Bait Doctors

MUFFLED MUSIC

PHONE VIBRATES

Hiya.

Hey. How's my girl?

I've been waiting.

Yeah, sorry.

Had some stuff to sort out.

What about you? Back home?

Yeah. Dodged the school bus and doubled back.

Classic.

I'll be right over.

Hey, better get yourself ready, babe.

We're on.

PHONE RINGS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Who's that now?

Hi. It's Dr Clay! The receptionist called about a home visit.

PHONE RINGS

Sergeant Hollins.

Hello, mate? How are you? How's dispatch treating you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I bet.

I was covering him, while he was on a break.

Was it me you were after?

No! No! Let go of me!

Calm it down in there. Somebody get him a cup of tea.

No! Not till you get 'em off me!

What was that?!

She's got a problem with something on the internet?

And am I the only person who can deal with this?

No, I'm joking, put her through.

I don't give a stuff!

Hello, Sergeant Hollins, Letherbridge Police Station.

How can I help?

Hello?

Hello?

Hey, here she is! Lovely Leia, ready and waiting!

Looking the business, by the way.

-PHONE RINGS

-It just slipped my mind.

Too much life in the fast lane.

As long as I'm not interrupting anything.

No, no, it's fine.

And so's the knee. No complaints.

Good to know, although slow and steady wins the day

with an arthroscopy. How are you coping?

Have you got someone coming in to sort out meals and help out?

Oh, I can't be doing with all that.

Fussing and faffing about when they don't know you from a bar of soap.

Hm. What about family? Anyone nearby?

No. I'll be fine on my own.

Good. Well, I'm glad to see that it's healing.

I would give it a while longer, rest it for a few weeks.

Weeks? I'll be stir crazy at this rate.

PHONE RINGS

Anyway, thanks for coming.

I'd best get on.

Don't mind me, it might be urgent.

No. Probably just some call centre. Or kids.

Right, if I may, I'll just use your bathroom,

then I'll leave you in peace.

Upstairs, first on the left.

What's happening, people!

It's your man with a plan, Predator from Peeee Geeee.

We're coming at ya, from location on the build up to the big one!

Now, listen.

Make sure you keep those comments coming in cos you know

we love to hear from you! And make sure you're subscribed

so you don't miss out on the main event!

We are livestreaming, straight to your living room,

to your car, wherever you want it!

And we're joined by first-time co-star today, Leia!

Say hello.

Hi.

How you feeling?

Yeah, all right.

Yeah? Butterflies?

Yeah, me too.

Don't worry though, it's going to be mint!

It's just, being recognised, mates, family seeing it.

Look...

And once it's out there, it's forever, innit?

No-one's going to recognise you.

I'll blur your face out.

But you're going to be livestreaming...

Yeah, but that's just to get the punters in, innit?

Make a bit of an event of the scenario.

Look, I promise, when I put them out online

I'll blur your face out, all right.

Right, shall we do another one then?

OK, Jack, see you next time.

I'm Izobel.

HE CHUCKLES

Yes, I know, love, it's very good value.

But now you're here, maybe you should tell me your name.

Sorry, I have to go.

The same girl as before? No, no, that's OK.

Put her through.

Hello, Letherbridge Police.

Hello? Not again.

Hello? I'm very sorry but it's been very noisy here today.

But you've come this far, so it must be important.

So why don't you tell me what's happened

and I'll try my very best to help you?

I just don't know if you can.

Now, all you lot that are out there that have

been following my channel for a while, know the drill.

Always ensure you do your visual check,

to make sure you've got the full Pee Gee kit on board.

I'm talking laptops, I'm talking backup camera gear, mini-mics -

the lot!

Right, looks like we're ready to rock and roll!

And you lot are going to love this!

You don't have to tell me anything, if you don't want to.

It just...sounded strange, that's all.

It's not!

So what is it then?

Oh, all right.

It's a few years back now.

A girl having a birthday party or some such.

And for a laugh,

her mates decided to dial her name on the phone buttons.

"Izobel".

Lo and behold, they got me.

Anyway, they had their giggles and I thought I'd heard the last of it.

Then one of them called back later, wanting someone to talk to,

to listen. So I thought, "Why not?"

Anyway, word must have got round

because I started getting more calls, asking for Izobel.

So, are they girls? Boys...?

Both.

I suppose mainly girls.

And what do they want to talk about?

Oh, you know, this and that.

Teenage stuff, mostly.

Such as...?

It's confidential. They trust me.

So what do you get out of it?

A reason to get up in the morning, I suppose.

The days are longer than they used to be.

Ah, just in time.

We've got them queueing up in there.

Great. You know I'm sure some of them wait before I'm home,

before doing something dodgy.

Speaking of which...

-Yeah, go on.

-Say I knew a guy.

This a patient?

All right, OK.

This is a bloke that you heard about while betting on a dog,

who has got absolutely nothing to do with your work in the medical field.

Well, this guy used to work in a secondary school.

Directly with the kids?

Not any more, I mean, he's retired now.

But he seems to really still like talking to kids, teenagers mostly.

I mean, they're teenagers now.

How does he know these kids,

are they from round about where he lives or are they grandkids?

Strangers on the phone.

How does he do that?

Well, his number spells a name, I think

he's a bit of an urban legend with the kids.

The kids just dial the name.

And what does he talk about?

Don't know.

So, this bloke that you've heard of. Does he ever meet up with them?

Ah, no.

He says no, but he's aware that it looks a bit suspect

and he admits that mostly they're girls.

Kieran?

Listen, you're going to have to focus in there, all right?

-Otherwise...

-I'm not sure I can.

Course you can.

I mean, do it. This.

What?

-No, babe, listen. You...

-I know.

I thought I could.

But we're all set up now.

I've promised them a show!

Come on, we can't let them down.

I've got 60,000 subscribers out there, waiting for us.

-I don't give a stuff about them!

-I know.

I know you don't.

All right, but they're just a means to an end.

OK.

And I know it seems like a big deal. Especially with that lot out there.

But you're not actually doing anything, are you?

I know.

I'm doing this for you, aren't I?

I'm doing it for us.

Cos I love you.

And believe me, when this is done and dusted, you're going to be buzzing.

I promise.

You trust me, don't you?

Right, then.

Right, I'm sweating like a pig.

I'm just going to use your bathroom, then we get on with it, yeah!

He seems harmless enough. Maybe he just likes the company.

It does seem a bit weird

-Although, he doesn't sound like he's breaking any laws...

-Yet.

Maybe you should have a word, suggest he stops.

For his own good if anything else.

Holly?

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

ENGAGED TONE

Is that Izobel?

The one and only! Who's that, then?

It's Leia.

Leia. Lovely name.

Haven't chatted before, have we?

No. My mate told me about you.

Ah.

You all right, love? You sound, I don't know...

..upset.

No. I mean, yeah.

It's my boyfriend.

Ah, really?

Keeps on about...doing stuff.

Stuff I don't want to.

I dunno what to do.

He'll be back here any minute.

Where's here?

Home.

What about your parents?

No, everyone's out.

I'm just really scared.

You can't come, can you?

-You mean, to you?

-Yeah.

I know you don't know me or anything...

I can't. I'm sorry, love.

Can I come to yours, then?

Please, I've got nowhere to go where he won't find me.

Uhh...

Just for a bit.

I won't be any trouble.

I know it's a local number, so you can't be far.

But I've gotta go now.

How old are you, love?

15.

OK, if you want.

Sorry, I feel so horrible doing this.

Take your time.

Even thinking about it...

It's like this thing hanging over me the whole time.

Why don't you tell me how it started?

I was in and out of care, all through school.

Mum was...

Anyway, there was this pervy old guy, wouldn't leave me alone.

He didn't do much, but he wanted to.

Liked to get close, talk about it, every chance he got.

I came out the other side. But still felt dirty...

..angry.

So then I'm ranting about it to...whoever,

probably, "victim" stamped through me.

And this other guy, he's actually listening to me.

On my side.

Knew all the right things to say.

But he's the one...ended up taking the photos.

And then dropping me cos I look too old!

These photographs on the internet, are they indecent or underage?

No.

OK.

So, why exactly have you come in today?

Well, for help getting them taken down.

And I've been keeping an eye out, you know, on what he's doing.

And I'm worried he's at it again.

With someone else.

It's open!

-You wanted to see me?

-Yeah.

Some fella's taken these photographs of a young girl,

put them on the internet and refuses to take them down.

Oh, nice(!)

Now, they're not indecent as such,

so there's not a great deal we can do.

But he's blurred out her face,

so she can't even prove that it's her...

-So you're after something to help identify her?

-Mm.

So how long you been doing this Izobel thing for, then?

Quite a while now.

Like hearing the young voices.

Takes me back.

Was a school caretaker for a long time, till I retired.

Missed the kids, though.

Dunno why.

Kids can be horrible.

Not to me.

All that excitement, running around not a care in the world.

Unspoiled.

So do you live on your own then?

I do now.

The missus died a few years back.

And you've had no-one else since? Why not?

Well...

then I wouldn't have the pleasure of your company, would I?

What about you? Mum and Dad know you're here?

What about this boyfriend?

No.

Don't worry, he won't find you here.

Now, I promised you a show!

And the show is on.

Never let it be said that Peeee Geeee don't deliver, hey!

For those of you just tuning in, where the hell you been, mate?!

It's going to be amazing

and Leia is amazing.

Let's have a little catch up, shall we?

Previously on PaedoGrabber...

Can I come to yours, then?

Please, I've got nowhere to go where he won't find me.

Duh, right! Bet all his birthdays have come at once!

Just for a bit.

I won't be any trouble.

I know it's a local number, so you can't be far.

But I've gotta go now

How old are you, love?

15.

OK. If you want.

Told you she was amazing, didn't I?

And he took the bait. The dirty old git.

Don't worry though, PaedoGrabber is on him like a rash!

Families can be hard work, can't they?

Yeah, I suppose.

They're not around much.

Always working.

Come on, Leia, just get on with it.

What about teachers, what are they like?

All right. But I thought you wanted to know about my boyfriend?

Like what he wanted me to do and that?

Oh...

You sure you want to tell me? It's a bit private, isn't it?

Well, yeah, course it is.

Tease him, go on. Give him a hint.

You'd probably be well shocked, wouldn't you? All that dirty stuff.

So you don't want to hear?

I'm not sure I do.

Bet he does, the dirty old fibber.

But I thought this was what you do, chat to girls and that.

I chat to whoever calls

but they don't usually turn up on my doorstep.

Maybe I shouldn't have come.

No! Just reel him in, all right!

-If you don't want to know...

-It's not that.

It's not that, it's just I think you should relax, get comfy.

Maybe have a look at some magazines I've got put away?

Yes! Got him.

What sort of mags?

Just something that might help you to see your troubles in a new light.

I know it took a lot for her to work up to this.

Coming in.

Not surprising, victimised twice.

I'm amazed she's keeping it together.

On the surface, yeah, but I'm sure she's pretty fragile underneath.

It wouldn't take a lot to scare her off.

Yeah, we'll go carefully.

We'll start with a chat and a cup of tea

and then I'll draw the screen, suggest a little privacy.

Probably wouldn't hurt

-to have a female face in there with you either.

-Yeah.

Do you want to come this way, love?

It's him! He has got another one!

ON LAPTOP: What sort of mags?

Just something that might help you

to see your own troubles in a new light.

It's a live stream.

Got him!

So this is happening now? Any idea where they could be?

I know where.

-In here?

-That's it.

Look, I was thinking, maybe it's safe for me to go back now.

You've only just got here.

I can't see.

Go on, they won't bite.

Further in, at the back.

There's something in them you might find interesting.

Surprise!

What on earth is going on?

All right, "Izobel"? Got your number, ain't we?

-Who are you?

-I'm Predator, mate...

You can't just come busting in here.

..and you are live on PaedoGrabber!

Come and tell our subscribers what a dirty old perv you are.

Our tenth, mind - should have got ourselves a cake or something!

-What?

-Kieran...

Come on, come on, tell us, why you thought it was OK to arrange

to meet what you thought was a 15-year-old girl in your house, eh?

-I'm not standing for this!

-You ain't going nowhere, mate.

Watch his dodgy leg!

I will if he don't try nothing, won't I?

You're under citizen's arrest! Come, babe, keep filming.

You're the boyfriend?

He ain't got a clue, has he?

It's a set up, mate! You're busted!

-I dunno about this. Maybe we should go.

-No!

Look, I know it's a bit hectic at the moment,

but you're doing brilliantly, babe, OK, this is the money shot!

This is how we get out subscribers and our donations.

-I don't know...

-Yes, you do!

You know how important this is.

More than anyone.

Look. If we don't stop these scumbags, who will? It's you and me.

On the side of the angels.

But he could be just some old guy?

No, he can't!

Look, I told you about he was chatting up the kids, didn't I?

-Who I got his number off?

-Yeah, but...

Yeah, but I didn't tell you what he'd been saying, did I?

All the dirty, nasty, things that he'd been saying to them.

What more proof do you want?

No, you don't!

No phone-a-friend for you, mate, if you've got any, that is!

It's Judgment Day!

Hopefully they won't try and argue

it's not you with your driving licence in shot.

Yeah.

Stupid.

-Taking up your time, when you must have more important things...

-No.

I mean, it's a couple of pictures that don't even show much.

And no-one knows it's me.

Except me.

It's understandable.

It's like part of you being held hostage.

Have you thought about counselling, or support groups?

Oh, yeah!

Roll up to where all these people have real problems and tell them

all how I was too young and stupid to know any better,

how it's all my own fault.

No, it's not your fault.

He knew you were young and he took advantage.

Unfortunately, you're not alone there.

Yeah.

But I've done nothing wrong!

You're a dirty old perv and you know it!

You call yourself Izobel and chat up young girls.

Who knows how many you've been trying to get round here...

-I haven't!

-..or what you've been trying to do to them!

I haven't done anything to them!

Yeah, well, you're going to admit it all now, aren't you? Nine...

Go ahead, I've nothing to hide.

Nine! We've been recording it all! From the phone call onwards!

You're stuffed, mate! OK. And what about all those dirty magazines

you were trying to get her to look at?

What's this?

They were my wife's.

I just thought they might have some advice.

How to deal with dodgy boyfriends.

Not really my area.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hello, police!

That's cool.

Must have been on their way round here for you, already, Izobel.

But PaedoGrabber got you first, didn't he?

-Are you OK, sir?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Go on, do your duty!

Can you stop recording, please!

No, the people need to see this, and I've got a right to record.

Not while you're under arrest.

What?

I'm arresting you on suspicion of false imprisonment.

-You what?

-You don't have to say anything.

But it may harm your defence if you don't mention

something which you later rely on in court.

Anything you say may be given in evidence. Do you understand?

-Listen, he's the one you want, mate. He's a paedo!

-I am not!

We will talk to Mr Fraser separately,

but that's a very serious accusation. Do you have any proof?

Tell him! About the kids!

He's got proof that he's been chatting up kids on the phone,

talking dirty and stuff !

And do you have details?

What, do you want me to do your job for you now, and all?

So you don't have any proof.

We're just trying to do what's right.

Stop people like him doing stuff to other kids.

How old are you, love?

17.

But he thought I was 15 before having me over!

Yes, he did think you were 15.

Which is why he called Social Services,

and told them a young girl was frightened of her older boyfriend.

He called?

Before even having me round?

And are you? Frightened of your boyfriend?

No.

We lied.

So do you think I stand a chance?

Getting my pictures taken down?

Well, Sergeant Hollins reckons the big social media companies

usually comply. Just...sometimes slowly.

Slow's OK.

As long as I'm not being used as bait on his site any more.

And I did that bloke in Oxford

who thought he was meeting a 13-year-old!

-What about the one in Wolverhampton, did you see him?

-Nope.

Listen, we're on the same side here, we're fighting for justice!

No, we're not. I'm a police officer who works within the law,

you are just a video-vigilante.

Yes, except I'm the only one doing anything about the scum, aren't I?

If you really was on the side of justice

and you did have some evidence, you should hand it over to us.

Not exploit it on your seedy peepshow.

You and your subscribers need to have a good long think

of why you're doing this. And if you do get convicted,

then you will have a long time to think about it.

Because the judges take a dim view of false imprisonment.

Oh, yeah, this one's def getting uploaded.

See how you like it, Clickbait.

Holly. Holly, tell him!

Tell him I'm one of the good guys.

The good guys?! You're not a good guy!

Babe, come on.

I trusted you.

-This ain't the time here...

-You've no idea what that meant,

after everything I've been through!

But you lied. That we're "on the side of the angels".

That this is all for me

It is!

Something good, and clean, to wipe out all that.

That he's one of them, some dirty old perv after kids,

when all the time, you know he's not.

We thought he was, I swear.

When this is all just about you playing the big man

with your subscribers, and your donations, and your clicks.

Using me, just like I was used before.

And however many others you've used.

I haven't!

Is that right?

I want to make a statement.

About how he had me set up Mr Fraser.

We're happy to oblige.

-Jack OK?

-I think so.

I think he's just a bit shaken up, that's all.

-And harmless after all?

-Yeah.

Just a lonely old fella, stuck in his house, who wants to help.

He called Social Services for her, bless him.

I'll check on him later.

Yeah. Our modern, internet world, eh?

We know so much about everything,

yet we don't know what to believe or who to trust.

HE GROANS

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Yeah. No, sorry.

There's no Izobel here.

He set up a fake site for Leia as well as Holly.

His general MO was to use them to bait his targets.

Get them into a conversation with a fake 15-year-old,

arrange a meet up and then out them on video.

But this is the first time he put a girl in direct contact.

Lucky he turned out to be Jack.

But because he streams live,

some of his followers turned up at the Wolverhampton one.

Caused a bit of a punch up in a burger bar.

But not any more, because Leia has served him up on a plate.

Places, times, unlocked his phone and his tablet.

He was shaking in his boots, but he's promised to shut the lot down.

Including Holly's page.

That's a result.

Shame it all landed on Jack in the process.

He had his trust violated twice, first Leia and then me.

Blowing his confidentiality.

Oh, come on, it's a fine line

when we step in and when we don't.

If you hadn't broken the confidentiality

it could have been a lot worse. Jack could have been hurt.

Maybe he has been. Emotionally.

I mean, you want to stop bad things from happening,

but you don't want to stop people from caring, do you?

There's not enough of that to go around in the first place.

-How's Leia doing?

-Same as you, I reckon.

Beating herself up because somebody else got victimised.

Because, like you, she cares.

A chat might help, before she goes.

Yeah.

I just wanted to say thanks...for caring.

And sorry.

So, it was all lies?

Not all of it.

But you'll be OK?

What about you? And Izobel?

Well, I think that's all over with, don't you, love?

People need that sometimes, though.

Friendly ear.

I did.

Ended up calling Samaritans.

They could probably do with all the help they can get.

People they can trust.

Maybe I'll give them a call.

Oh! Let me help you up.

I can manage. Thank you!

Is Valerie around?

No. 'Fraid not.

Doctor. Come in.

Doctor, eh?

You can come and give me a look over if you fancy?

I've seen who you really are.

You always did.

No, you misunderstand me.

I didn't like what I saw.

We are not done here.