The Terminator Doctors

Most people would have taken the hint.

More a stitch-up than a hint, I'd say.

-You were lucky.

-Lucky?

Lucky that the patient's family didn't want to take it any further.

Nurse Kealey, you're clearly not ready to come back.

I said as much.

I bet you did.

We both know what really happened, and I was cleared of malpractice.

No, they didn't investigate it any further. There's a difference.

Hey, Joanna. Long time no see.

Ruhma, hey. How've you been?

Yeah, good, good.

-Are you all right?

-Why wouldn't I be?

It just seemed a bit heated.

Yeah, never ask Dr Cridge to roll out the welcome wagon.

He's rubbish at it.

-I have heard he's a little bit...

-He's a lot.

A good doctor though? So I've heard.

He's gone up for head of department, hasn't he?

He's down to the last two.

As a doctor, he's fine. As a human being...

What do you mean?

Don't worry about it. I'm just glad to be back.

Back?

Well, I'll see you later.

Hey, you all right, sister? Are you lost?

Hey, JJ. Well, no, not exactly.

I've just been shunted around again.

Yeah, room in the corner.

You'll be rubbing elbows with the orthopaedic clinic.

I am so sorry, Rachel.

I thought I had some in here.

It's not my normal room.

NEXT DOOR: What are you doing?! Why won't you work?!

But at least it's nice and peaceful in here, though.

Ah, there they are.

Right, let's have a listen to baby, shall we?

What is the point of you?!

Hopefully, he will stop in a bit.

Oh, just work, you stupid, useless piece of...!

Maybe he won't.

Excuse me, I won't be a minute.

What is the point of you?!

What is the point?!

Just work, you stupid piece of crap!

Excuse me.

What?

I completely understand that it's OK to shout at some computers,

but could you just keep your volume down?

Because there are patients outside.

It's just completely frozen. I can't send e-mails, anything.

-It's Dr Cridge, isn't it?

-Yes.

I'm Ruhma Hanif.

We've not met, but I have heard a lot about you.

Do you want me to take a look?

Are you an IT expert?

No, I'm a midwife, but I just thought a fresh pair of eyes...?

It's just completely frozen.

I can't click on anything, I can't even close the programme.

See?

I just thought I'd try.

All right, well, if you don't have any better ideas...

COMPUTER BEEPS

Oh.

What is that?

I think that's you.

And I don't think that's appropriate for work.

That's not me, that's not mine.

I don't even know her!

She seems very friendly.

Although she's probably looking a bit chilly there.

No, no, I don't know anything about this.

COMPUTER DINGS

I think that's just gone to your whole address book.

What?

No! No!

I'm going to leave you to it.

Look, I didn't do this.

OK, bye.

No!

Right, so I will see you next month, and if there's anything you want

to talk about, just give me a call.

OK. Thank you. Bye.

It really wasn't me.

Well, it looked like you.

I know.

Look, it's not a big deal.

But I just don't think you should be sending that sort of e-mail at work

to a friend.

Dr Flynn is not a friend. He's an idiot.

-Right.

-And I would never e-mail something like that,

-especially when I'm waiting to hear about a promotion.

-OK.

I've never even been to one of those clubs.

You know, I'm a married man.

I don't think they turn you away because of that.

You saw my e-mail was frozen. I could never have sent it.

So, what, you're saying that you were hacked?

Do you believe me?

I don't really even know you.

Come on, do I look like the sort of person who would go to one of those

clubs, and then accidentally e-mail everyone in the hospital?

I'm a very careful man.

That's what I've heard.

So?

So?

Look, you're a colleague, and a woman.

-And I need a witness.

-Right.

I need to talk to IT.

For some reason, they're not answering the phone.

Hey.

Oh, careful. You start with a crisp and before you know it,

you're on the multipacks.

Did you see that e-mail from Cridge?

Made my day.

He's trying to sort it with IT.

He'll be lucky. They don't answer his calls any more.

Why not?

Since he made a formal complaint against them.

Why did he do that?

He's done it to everyone.

The NHS is understaffed and underfunded, but if anyone's

performance is less than perfect, Dr Cridge will dob them in.

He's the reason I was suspended.

What?

When? What happened?

You know me, Ruhma. I know my stuff.

Cridge says he requested tests on a patient, but he never did.

And the patient nearly died.

What about the notes?

He altered them afterwards, so it's just my word against his.

He's such a hypocrite.

At least you're back.

For now.

I wouldn't fancy my chances if he got to be head of department.

Although after Stripper-Gate, maybe that won't happen.

This is you, isn't it?

What are you talking about?

The e-mail, and I've just found out my car's been clamped.

-Oh, shame.

-Where did you park it?

In the car park, in my usual space.

Maybe it's a mistake?

No. This all happens the day Nurse Kealey comes back.

-I've been with patients all morning.

-I don't know how you did it,

but everyone knows you blame me for your suspension,

even though it was your own incompetence.

-You never requested the tests.

-I should report you again.

Go ahead, and then I'll get you for harassment.

I don't think this is the right place for this conversation.

Fine.

I've got to get back to work, anyway,

because I'M a professional.

I'm watching you.

Look, I'm aware that you are under some stress,

but it's inappropriate to talk to your colleagues

like that, in front of patients.

Are you going to report me?

-No.

-Fine. Can we move on?

It's still frozen, with the photo.

Have you tried turning it on and off?

I thought that IT might need to see it,

but there's no-one at the desk.

HR will be announcing the new head any minute now,

I'm sure this isn't going to help.

I could have a word with IT, if you like?

Thank you.

Ever since I started at St Phil's, my plan

was to become the youngest ever head of orthopaedics.

Now I'm this close and this happens.

Yeah, it must be very frustrating.

I empathise.

Look...

I know I'm not the most popular person in the hospital,

but it's only because my main focus is the patient.

That's good.

I treat the patient to the best of my ability,

as quickly and efficiently as I can,

so I can move on to the next patient, and the next, and the next.

It's the only way to function in today's NHS.

I've got no time for hugs and hand-holding.

There is always time for hugs.

-Yeah, that's what nurses are for.

-Whoa, there. I don't think that...

I know that's not all they do, but resources are stretched

and we must all play to our strengths.

Why would I even send an incriminating e-mail

to a man I don't like, on a computer that doesn't work,

in a week where my future at this hospital is being decided?

I mean, I'd have to be a complete idiot.

Someone's doing this, and I need to find out who.

PHONE RINGS

My wife.

She must have got the e-mail.

I'll leave you to it.

Listen, Maria. I can explain, OK?

-Hey, Al.

-Zoltan the Magnificent speaking.

What? Oh, sorry, Al, is it your day off?

Yes, it is, I really shouldn't be using my mobile phone.

SWORDS CLASH

Mobile coverage is virtually unheard of in the Kingdom of Farg.

What exactly is it you're doing?

Live action role play.

Classic tale of the powers of light versus the shadow of darkness.

Wow. Hey, good luck beating those bad guys.

No, no, no, I am absolutely one of the bad guys and we always win.

Right, OK.

Yeah, it really annoys my mate Fat Elvis, cos he invented the game.

-Ha-ha!

-I've managed to bag myself a couple of massive Orcs.

Great. I can get you some cream for that.

Orcs.

A couple of blokes who work security at the leisure centre.

Right. Listen, Al, I need to ask you a favour.

Really? Well, what offering do you lay before the Mighty Zoltan?

I'll buy you a pint.

Yeah, that should do it. What do you want?

You are a bit of a computer wizard, yes?

Literally.

OK, I'm going to e-mail you a photo. I need you to look at it and then

tell me if it's been tampered with.

Yeah, that's within my power set.

Great. Hey, thanks, Al.

Good luck.

I don't need your luck.

HORN BLARES

Right, everyone, Zoltan is back in the game.

Coming, ready or not.

Maria, please.

Yes, I know, but I apologised for that.

And that's completely different.

Listen, listen, listen, I swear, I've never even been

to one of those clubs!

Yes, I know, but I told the truth about that,

so why would I lie about this?

Maria?

Hello?

Oh, don't tell me there's no reception!

It was there, it was just there!

Hey, how's it going?

Very nicely, thank you. I've hardly seen Dr Cridge.

It's almost as if he's got other things to worry about.

It is a bit weird, isn't it, how everything is happening today?

Karma. Or else the voodoo doll I made actually works.

Joanna.

What? I'm joking. I had nothing to do with this.

Really?

Would you blame me?

But it's not like I'm the only suspect.

Cridge has upset everyone.

Is that true?

The IT Department, the nurses, the doctor he got fired last year,

all the porters.

I had no idea.

Well, you're usually up in maternity.

Some of us are stuck with him.

If you're drawing up a list of suspects,

you're going to need a big piece of paper.

PHONE RINGS

Hey, Al.

I had a look at your photograph, they are definitely fake.

Not the lady, the photo.

Oh. Well, yeah, that too.

What makes you say that?

Well, there are conflicting light sources, aren't they?

It's a cut and paste job.

If you look, the shadows on his face

are completely different to the shadows around her...

OK, thanks, Al.

How's that war going?

Not good.

I'm down to my last Orc.

That was quick.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Fat Elvis has pulled out all the big guns.

He's upset cos I destroyed the Sword of Gwanmere.

Was it a fair fight?

No, not really. I sat on it in his car.

Apparently it was a limited edition and he's sworn revenge.

All right, well, you sound like you've got your hands full.

Cheers, Al. I owe you one.

You owe me many!

Right, Fang, it's just me and you now.

Now, I'm not one for big speeches so...

Mike, I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm going to the pub.

Come and join me, man.

GROWLING

-Where have you been?

-Sorry, Doc.

Amin was on his way down, but someone run over his foot

in the lift so I had to step in.

Why do I need to know this?

There's a patient in room six who should have been moved

-25 minutes ago.

-I'll get right on it.

Adam?

Adam Cridge?

Sorry, do I know you?

That was cold.

Are you looking for a midwife?

I'm looking for you, Adam. We need to talk.

-Why?

-About our baby.

I don't know what you're talking about.

-Don't you walk away from me, Adam!

-Look, I don't know you.

You said you loved me!

No, I didn't.

This is your baby!

Will you stop this right now? Or I'll have you removed from

-this hospital.

-I'm not going anywhere until you take

some responsibility for your son.

-Yeah, that's right, it's a boy.

-You're out of your mind.

Out of my mind to sleep with you!

Listen, I want her thrown out right now.

-I said now!

-Don't you touch me!

-I don't think it's a good idea...

-Oh! It's coming!

-All right, OK.

-Oh, the baby is coming!

Obviously she's faking.

What makes you say that?

Why is any of this happening?

Oh, it hurts so much!

Get her out of here!

JJ, can you give us a hand, please?

Take her to my room.

I don't know what I ever saw in you.

Let's hope our son doesn't grow up to be like his dad!

I am not the father of this baby,

and I need you to get her out of this hospital!

Adam?

Maria?

What is happening?

Come on in. Thanks, JJ. Yeah, I owe you one.

Right, Fleur, I'm just going to check you over.

Actually, it doesn't hurt so much now.

We should, you know, just check to be sure.

It's fine. It was probably those fake contractions,

Braxton Hicks or whatever.

We should just check, you know, for the baby.

I'm fine, OK?

Yeah, OK, if you say.

I should be getting back to the office.

Hey, so how far along are you?

Just over eight months.

Aw. And when does your maternity leave kick in?

-Where I work, they don't exactly do maternity leave.

-Oh.

That's why I'm here, obviously, because the father,

Adam Cridge, should be paying his share.

You mean Andy?

Andy?

Dr Andy Cridge.

I thought his name was Adam?

You know, you'd think you'd know that.

I mean, especially if he is the father of the baby.

-But he's not, is he, Fleur?

-Yes, he is.

-Come on, Fleur, what is going on?

-Nothing!

Did you send those photos by e-mail?

-I have to get to work.

-Right, OK.

What are you doing?

-I'm going to call the police.

-Why?

You tell me. Is it blackmail?

No.

What then?

It's all legal, OK? I'm just doing my job.

And what is your job?

So why did you hang up on me?

I didn't. My mobile stopped working.

Very convenient.

No, not at all. Look, this is all connected. Someone's behind this.

The photo, the girl.

-Who you've never seen before?

-I haven't!

What is she, eight months pregnant?

Possibly, I wouldn't know without doing a test.

So you could have been sleeping with her the same time as your

other mistress?

Cheating on her as well?

Are you kidding? I'm a doctor, I barely have time for one affair!

Look, I'm sorry. That wasn't...

I know how this looks, but I promise you, there are no other women.

Your promises aren't as convincing as they used to be.

I know.

It's the worst thing I've ever done.

I feel awful.

How do you think I feel?

It's all over now, I swear.

Look, we can do a paternity test when the baby arrives,

and that'll prove that she's lying.

And I'm supposed to wait until then? Pretend everything's fine?

What do you want me to do?!

OK, things are happening, I don't understand!

I promise, OK, I promise, that I am 100% committed to you

and our relationship.

PHONE RINGS

Adam, please.

It's HR. I've got to get this.

Adam!

I'm sorry.

Adam Cridge.

Let me just get my head round this.

OK, so people pay you to take revenge out on other people?

It's an agency. We provide a very specialist service.

If you want to get your own back on your ex,

your boss or a neighbour, come to us and we can do it for you.

And what if that other person finds out?

It's all anonymous. That's the beauty of it.

We offer a variety of packages,

from minor nuisances, like noisy workmen or getting someone's car

clamped, to a complete reputation trash, which we call The Terminator.

And how do you go about finding out about...?

There's a lot of research involved.

And is it legal?

Yeah, technically. We do have a lawyer.

OK, how do you stop it?

You can't. Only a client can cancel a job.

So who is the client?

-That's confidential.

-This is a hospital.

If you stop Dr Cridge from doing his job, you're putting

patients' lives at risk!

-OK, I have to go.

-Fleur!

Fleur!

Fleur!

-Fleur!

-Are you satisfied?

-I'm leaving, OK?

-No, no, no, you're not going anywhere until you tell me

-who put you up to this.

-Maybe not now, Doctor?

-I didn't get the promotion.

-I'm sorry.

Because of her and her friends, and I want to know who's doing this.

Get off!

-Who put you up to this?

-Get off!

Just stop it. Nobody believes your little act.

It was an act, but she is still very pregnant.

Come and sit down. Come on. That's it.

Fleur, is this real or is it pretend?

Tell me why you are ruining my life?!

-What are you doing?

-I told you to stay put.

Don't talk to me like that.

This is real. We need to get her to a bed.

-No, she's not going anywhere.

-She needs medical attention.

Not until she tells me who's behind this!

Everyone.

What?

It was all of us.

What are you talking about?

You have upset, bullied and angered people all over this hospital.

But you don't care.

You're not sorry.

So we talked, and we came up with this.

This is nonsense.

You don't believe me?

We had a whip round. I can show you the list.

OK, right, enough!

Jo, could you help me get her to maternity, please?

Are you ready? And one, two, three. That's it.

Come on then.

Maria, wait!

I've been looking for you.

Right, well, I've been a bit busy.

With Fleur.

You know, she's doing OK, if you were wondering.

Right. Look, I need to know that I can count on you as a witness.

For what?

For when I file a complaint against Nurse Kealey, and the rest of them.

Are you sure that you want to do that?

-Oh, it's like that, is it?

-What? No.

Well, you should know I'm not just going to management,

-I'm also going to the police.

-Dr Cridge.

Dr Cridge!

Dr Cridge!

Dr Cridge!

Look, listen, if you do this,

working here is going to be a lot harder than it is now.

-What, for you?

-No, for everyone!

Is this the best way to deal with this problem?

You don't even know the full story, and if you go to the police,

you're going to come across as a bit paranoid.

-I think that you need help.

-Help?

Look, you're a very talented doctor.

Oh, that means a lot, coming from someone I barely know.

Why are you being like this?

Isn't it obvious?

What happened today happened because of the way you behave.

I think that you really need to try and talk to someone.

-Anger management, you mean?

-Maybe.

How could I have been so stupid?

The answer was right in front of me all along.

OK, suit yourself. But I don't think that this is the answer.

I thought your car was clamped.

I'll get a cab.

HE GROWLS

Oh, sorry, bud! I didn't see you there.

-CRIDGE GASPS FOR BREATH

-You all right?

You all right, mate?

How are you doing?

Oh, just another false alarm.

Except this time it was a real false alarm.

What are the chances?

I heard your fake Braxton Hicks were very convincing.

Well, I knew those drama classes with Mrs Hill

would be good for something.

So when are they going to let you...?

We were at school together, OK?

I really don't want to know.

We bumped into each other again.

Fleur offered me mate's rates and said I could get my own back.

It went a bit further than that, didn't it?

It would have been a disaster if Dr Cridge

became head of orthopaedics, for everyone.

That's why I suggested they all club together for The Terminator package.

Dr Cridge has had an accident.

What?

What sort of accident?

He fell down some stairs.

Is he all right?

He's being treated in A&E.

So are you happy with the way things went today?

He tried to end my career.

Why should I feel bad?

It wasn't our fault.

Maybe it was karma.

Look, if the company you work for won't give you paid leave,

then you can apply for maternity benefit.

That's the website.

And maybe you should think about what it is you

want to do with your life.

Right, great. Thanks.

Ruhma.

I'm sorry, Joanna, I really don't want to know.

I love my job.

Yeah, I know, and you are a good nurse.

I just wanted him to leave me alone.

But there are other ways.

Are there? Doctors get protected. Nurses? Not so much.

Yeah, all right.

But what about all his patients? What about all the people that

wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him?

What about his wife?

Think about that.

Hey.

Thought I'd just pop in.

See how you're doing.

HE GRUNTS

Adam can't talk. He's fractured his jaw.

Ouch.

They've given him a pad and pencil, so he can still communicate...

if he wants.

Well, I'll leave you to it.

Take it easy.

Ruhma, please stay.

Well, I'm going to go and get a coffee.

Dr Cridge, I'm sorry.

Maria.

I got you a coffee. Don't worry, it's decaffeinated.

-I'm so sorry.

-It's fine.

It was my first time in the field. I feel terrible.

It was an accident.

And, actually, it's worked out even better than I'd hoped.

Really?

By the time he's out of the hospital, I'll have had time

to pack up everything in the house and disappear.

You aren't going to tell him?

Do you know he's broken his jaw?

It's the first peace and quiet I've had in years.

-You think I'm being harsh?

-No, I...

He begged me to forgive him.

But he brought her into my home, my bed.

Once, when I was asleep upstairs.

They were together on my birthday.

And the way that he talks to me, that's why he deserves

The Terminator.

And I couldn't have afforded it without your help.

I feel bad about Joanna.

Don't.

Tricking his colleagues into paying half

was the perfect solution.

They got a cut price revenge package,

and so did I.

Well, if you're happy.

I am.

And I'll be recommending you to all my friends.

Goodbye.

Things got out of hand.

I was desperate.

I shouldn't have done what I did,

but it was because I didn't see any other options.

I am sorry.

Is there anything you want to say to Nurse Kealey?

"I don't accept."

I knew it.

Talking to him is a waste of time.

He'll never admit it.

He almost killed that patient.

"Bad nurse?"

You're a bad doctor! You never asked for those tests!

You're a coward and a hypocrite.

Did you tell her?

Goodbye, Doctor.

A psychiatrist friend of Sister Hanif's is coming to see me shortly.

You don't need a psychiatrist.

You can always come to me with your problems.

JJ, I'm trying to give you the heads up because CID will take over

this case. So if you know anything, you're better off telling me.

-Oh, my God!

-I'm really sorry, I'm so sorry.

LOUD BANG

Oh, are you OK?

Oh, yep, yep.